So i understand the principle of the numbers game. But I think it can hurt you, because then you don't follow through, you're on to the next before you really got rejected.
So I can't say for sure about cold approach because I haven't hit that hard yet. But it should be similar.
In my view, everything is a number's game, it's all probabilities and taking the best risks you can.
I think that the optimal approach for game, most of the time, doesn't look like what most people do.
You gotta have a process, yes, but it should be flexible based on the girls you meet, their investment, where you meet them, who they are (or you think they are, based on appearances, stereotypes).
In practice, I think what this would look like is some (most?) girls you will try your generic shotgun approach, but if you see a better opportunity, you go more direct or something. Or go more indirect. Not even sure, but with some girls you will have to shake things up to make stuff happen, get out of your confort zone. Your usual game is made to maximize winning with most girls, but some girls will be too different for it to work with them, and I guess most of the high quality women, the really beautiful (inside and out) ones, will need a different approach.
The problem, of course, is that they are so rare that most guys are scared to try being creative with them, doing things they usually wouldn't do with girls. And then they don't develop this instinct for improvising. I will make a music/instrument analogy: the best players are the ones that can go with the flow, hear a song playing and play along with it, solo over it without even having to know the song beforehand. But the reason they can do this is they learned so much other music, following along carefully, playing it almost exact, note by note, that now they have a deeper understanding of music. So when they hear any song, they know what should work, and they are not afraid of trying stuff that could work (and could not), because, most of the time, their stuff works, and when it doesn't, it's just a few 2 or 3 notes that sound a bit off or even exotic, in the context, but the whole rest makes up for it.
Another reason they can improvise is that... They just tried improvising. If you're the best "mechanical" player in the world, and can play any song from a huge list you have, but you never tried playing along to something you didn't knew, you wouldn't be able to do it, at all (most likely). So with girls, if you're never trying something new, you always will end up with the same girls you can already get with your process. Yes, having a process is crucial for sucess overall on long term and learning, since you can't pick a pattern and tell if something works unless you do it a lot, but you can tell that something worked with a certain girl you tried once, and maybe that's all you wanted, this one girl. And if you had stayed with your same fixed rigid process, you would never have gotten this one girl. So doing some "random" things every now and then it's important for progressing with your game, I would say. Because if you're not changing your process as well, you're not learning, are you?
This also means some girls you'll spend way more time and energy to get to bed, others way less. Most guys focusing on "number's game" I think eject way too early with girls, because they are not following along, complying with their process, on the speed most of the others they end up bedding do. In your case
@mrman I guess you really just need to spend some more effort in closing the deal, figuring out this follow through game you've been lacking. If you persist in the right way, eventually most girls will at least go on a date with you. I remember back when I had zero game and was 19 year old virgin still that I texted this girl for almost 6 fucking months, and eventually she showed up, a really cute shy blonde girl. I fucked up on the date just for not having any experience with girls and being so shy, if I just went for a kiss or something, maybe things would have been super different. But anyway, I got the date, with a random girl that I would say was out of my league, out of most 19 year olds league.
That's why my thesis for tonight is that I need to step back from the "numbers game" approach and really focus on sealing the deal one girl at a time.
Yeah I think you're right man, don't 100% stop approaching, of course, otherwise you lose all momentum, but try focusing most of your energy (that you put into game anyway) in getting better at closing.
Sorry if I got a bit too derailed, but your situation made me think about some meta game stuff lol, I'm changing things up with my follow through game, and it's been showing some results. No lays so far, but I'm feeling I'm going further with girls I would have given up already if I was on my old numbers' game.
Godspeed!
