Skippy's Daygame Journal

[Kvothe]

And I do tourist gambit, how you can be anyone you want when you’re traveling. She agrees. Then I asked her whether she’s from the area and what it was like first moving to this city (the point was to segue into LA Gambit) She asks me as well what moving to this city was like first and so I said how one thing you notice is how everyone is much more attractive. She giggles nervously at this…(I think this was a miscalibration on my part) But she buys into this a little bit.

I would say "stylish and confident in themselves" over "attractive". Then you can frame coming here as her trying to become those herself.

Did you qualify her? I see you had her qualify herself, but did you qualify her?

 

[Skippy]

Did you qualify her? I see you had her qualify herself, but did you qualify her?

Unfortunately no... :/ She threw the question back to me after telling me her best traits. I should've just qualified her first

 

[Skippy]

How’d it Go​

Girl 1: Stopped her and opened with the peaceful walk opener and continued the cold read, that she likes to just take in her surroundings, drink in the moment etc…and blah blah blah. She hadn’t heard it before and was surprised but seemed initially she was receptive. Continued with asking her where she’d travel if she won the lottery and she said Italy. So I fluffed a little about how it has such good food and nice beaches and then had her imagine she had just gotten out of her hotel after first arriving. What would she do?

She said she’s the kind of person who would make a heavy schedule but then she would explore whatever came her way as she went along. So I repackaged that with yea it’s kind of like what we were saying earlier that maybe you’d follow the plan but when you encounter something that makes you curious, you allow yourself to indulge in your curiosity a bit.

I think after a little bit of this I didn’t know where to take the conversation so I asked her what she likes to do to relax…like a watered down golden question. I think she said hanging out with friends or something? I forget. after this point there was a noticeable drop in the energy where I felt like it was getting awkward and I didn’t know how to smoothly transition into interesting topics.

Also it was weird because she hadn’t really asked me any questions. and our eye contact was both all over the place. I brought things a little bit back on track with boring questions like asking her what she was up to that day and she said she and a friend were going to go watch a movie.

Somehow here we reach the topic of whether she’s an extrovert or introvert and she says she has moments where she can be both, like an ambivert(the convo picked back up) but still I sensed that things could go south because she still hadn’t asked me anything about me… So I tell her I have to buy some groceries and we should keep walking. And also at this point she resumed texting while talking to me, and I was worried she was only talking out of politeness now.

I ask her if she’s originally from the city. But she is and so I didn’t think to do LA gambit. but in hindsight, I dont see why I couldn’t have…I was like “Oh maybe it would be uncalibrated because she literally grew up here” but I could’ve just talked about my own experiences instead then. But then this is where she FINALLY started asking me stuff, like where I’m from. She guessed new york. I said how it’s interesting when you go to a different city in the US the vibe of the people is totally different but it’s still us city so it’s eerily familiar but still different.

Then I asked her what her major was (boring but there were more awkward silences while we were walking together) and asked her whether she liked it. Turns out she was really passionate about it and talked about how the video editing she does… she could spend 5 hours on it and not even notice the time pass. I related to her with that and how when I make the script for my youtube videos it puts me in this really ‘engrossed’ state where I can just keep on adding lots of content and before I know it, I already have enough material for multiple videos. She asks me what kind of videos I make and I tell her. Then as we near the grocery store, she tells me she has to turn in a different direction so I invite her to a coffee almost as she walks off, and she says she’s down. Puts in her number and asks me to text her my name. but doesn’t respond to my icebreaker.


I was kicking myself on how I handled this one in general because it started off really strong and then just…tanked And she was really attractive too. If I were to describe it, I would say it’s like if you were to just leap off a building without any fears and start flying but when you suddenly realize you’re flying you’re like “Oh fuck!…I’m actually flying!….This is unfucking-real” and then you start to falter because now you’re super conscious about what you’re doing. With this it’s like you open her and get her immersed in this conversation so easily and then both you pop out of the trance when I had my first moment of “Ohh hmmm I’m not immediately sure where to take this travel gambit further. WAIT is she going to start wondering why I'm talking to her or where this is going??” and that’s when I faltered


Girl 2: This girl had a bit of a spring to her walk so I tried stopping her but just kept walking with her instead (Given the direction she was going I knew she was probably going to class and probably would not stop). Opened her with a “lively walk” opener. and how I bet she’s the one amongst her friends that has good positive vibes. Then I transitioned into the “where would you travel if you won the lottery” question. And she’s like I don’t know. (I made sure to speak slowly and deliberately and I think my verbal subcomms were pretty good here) She was pondering the question. I think her mood was still overall jovial here. And then I think she went a little meta and started wondering why I was asking her this because she suddenly asks “are you student here??” almost like in an antagonistic way but she was still being friendly. But it had a subtle edge to it that I can't quite put my finger on…like she was doing a social frame grab or something… She’s asking me what I’m doing on campus and I just say oh yea I just recently graduated. She asks “oh but you live on campus still?” and I’m like yeah I live pretty close by and of course a lot of my classmates are still in school. I’m just cutting through to catch the train though (we have a series of metro stops at the edge of campus”

So I just ask “so are you a student here?” and she says yea and tells me her major and I ask her if she likes it and she’s like “Thats a loaded question!!”. “I’m thinking to myself really? because the previous girl I was hitting on seemed to like that question”. Then she has to turn cause her building is in a different direction so she loudly ends the conversation saying “WELL IT WAS NICE TALKING TO YOU BUT I GOTTA GET TO CLASS, CYA”

I was feeling a little bit bummed out by that approach too. Reminds me of that joke gunwitch made in the chat one time “You can’t call yourself a daygamer unless you’ve heard the words ‘excuse me sir, are you a student here?’ “ So I decided to lay low for a bit and chill around the periphery of campus until I headed up to the grocery store.

Girl 3:
There was this brunette with a nice ass that I wanted to approach but she was moving around too much. I was probably hesitating too much on opening her and waiting for just the right timing but it never came. Anyway, then there was this Chinese girl that was next to me in the frozen section so I thought “she’ll do” and opened her. Did the usual RPO and added some flair to it that Bacchus taught me because I could tell she was listening intently (it’s soo addicting when you can tell a girl’s attention is riveted on you btw. I’ve been noticing that happening much more lately). Then I transition into a cold read about how she seems like the type who likes to live in the moment.

Me: What’s something that you really enjoy doing…something that you like to do in your downtime
Her: It’s hard to tell after a long day.
Me: Yeah for me, it’s going for a workout, I find that it really helps me unwind.
Her: Yeah definitely a good habit to have. kind of a habit that’s really good for your health
Me: and whats one habit that you wish you had if you were really on top of everything?
Her: Probably not that good I think just watching videos…like tiktok or something.
Her: Is this good? Have you tried this before? Holds up some frozen waffles
Some fluff about what she’s trying to get
Me: so are you a student
Get some boring information about what she’s studying and relate how I was also in a 5 year program.
Me: So have you noticed when you’re with your professors that their personality really affects the way you interact with material.
She’s a phd student so I switch to talking about the relationship with the advisor instead.
Me: Do you feel like your advisor really understands you really well?
Me: Yeah thats what I think with my advisor, I was really lucky because he was kind of hands off and that worked really well for me where as other students their advisors were more “do this do this”…and it doesn’t really mesh well. So it’s like when you have an advisor that you really click with, it feels really good like a teacher student mentor
Her: Yea yea!
Me: and you feel like they really take care of you and really care about you.
Her: What did you study about?
Me: Take a guess
Her: Psychology?
My former student/dude from my program: Heeeeey what’s going ownnnnn!
Me: Oh hey!
Her; You two know each other?
Him: Yea he was my TA
My friend asks me a little about how I’m doing with the new job and stuff but then dips out when he probably realized he was cramping up my style. Also, I didn’t really ask him any questions or engage him all that much. But he thankfully dipped out before I would have to deal with it. I think I would’ve just said “yea great seeing you man, we have to catch up properly sometime, just shoot me a text!”

Her: Are you done with your shopping?

Me: Pretty much!

We go to the checkout line together.
Me: I always like the energy of this place
She: so you’re a [subject] student? What made you to study [subject] it’s very hard?
Me: You like mysteries? You know when something makes you really curious and you just have to figure out how it works? for me that’s what I like about [subject] and I like how the more learn about it, the more you realize it’s actually a really deep, really fascinating area.

We talk a little bit about where she’s from. And I tell her how I was at this language program in china and share some story about how I had to take an in-person exam in front of the blackboard with this crazy strict Austrian professor I had. And how he nearly wanted to fail me but then allowed me to retake it in the fall. But it was basically him grilling me with questions in real time and me having ot answer them on the spot. I wanted to practice my storytelling in field here and also use that as an example of “overcoming a struggle” type story to see if it’ll help with anything.

I then ask her what it was like when she first moved to this city and started the beginning of the LA Gambit but didn’t get to the have her qualify part.

Me: And what do you think about the vibe of this city?
Her: I like it a lot! The sunshine! I love it.
Me: Yeah I feel like everyone’s really relaxed right? I also feel like everyone’s a lot more stylish and confident here
Her: yeah, I know I really like the vibe and the pace
Her: I was just in [names a place that’s actually my home town]
Me; Can you tell that I’m from there?
Her: No not really. I think your vibe is really amiable. You’re very western style. That’s very different from some people there. [ I think she meant west coast. Funny the other girl was saying I seem like a new yorker…]

Around this time, we’re gearing up to reach the checkout so I set up an open loop with “actually I have a question for you” (not ideal because that’s what I started with in the beginning right?) After we pay for our stuff I do the travel gambit on her and she says Switzerland (go figure!) so ask her what she likes about it and stimulate her a little by describing the lush scenery, describing ski lodges and cable cars, in Switzerland.

Her: You really asked me a lot of interesting questions…
Me: I know! Isn’t it just crazy how you can have this spontaneous connection where you meet people and you can vibe with them
Me: You know what I mean by ‘vibe’?
Her: Yea that doesn’t happen to me oftentimes
Me: It doesn’t happen often right?
Her: Yea
Me: and so when it does happen it’s really something you remember and you feel happy
Her: ohhh….Thank you so much! [what? no no no no no that’s not what I’m saying ]
Me: Yeah actually we should get a coffee sometime.
Her; coffee? ehh I’m..actually…pretty busy this semester with my dissertation
well fuck

Spoiler: My analysis

Come to think of it, I feel like my closing came off as awkward and forced. a little better would’ve been to tell her, you know you have a really great energy. Or “it was really cool meeting you” before closing.

Also…my tonality fucking sucked I realized. I was speaking fast and using lots of filler words and had a friendly social vibe, I bet. Totally forgot about the sexuality and vibe and stuff. Fuck. Listening to the audio…I was just cringing hard. You can do better than that skippy c’mon!

Thoughts​

Now that hooking is getting easier and easier, and that I have less stuff to process, I can resume the sexual vibe focus again. Still have some kinks with the conversation but I’ll review the conversational topics framework that @Devilicious and I made.

What I did well:​

1. I continued with the cold read with the grocery store chick today and searched for some places to take this into SOT territory (even though it was only very light)
2. Approached the first girl (I had initially walked past her and would’ve just let her go by) And frick she was really my type.

What I could've done better:​

1. LOW AND SLOW AND RESUME YOUR SHADOWBOXING so that you don't forget all the good habits you build up previously.

 

[Skippy]

Well I've been away visiting family and just got back this week.

The main focus of mine now is on how to take more action. Dev and I have been making a detailed plan on how to ensure that our environment is conducive to getting lots of practice. It’s time to start increasing the volume.

Spoiler: Riffing

Another focus of mine has been on learning how to riff. It’s a work in progress, but just in the past couple days I'm seeing my skills improve. Currently, I’m able to start talking about themes such as travel and I now have a lot to say about it but the challenge I face at the moment is that it sometimes feels one-sided where the girl is listening but she is just going “mhm” “yep” “oui” “oui” “oui” “yes” “that’s right”. And not contributing to the conversation all that much. And I feel if I were to stop talking, there would be an awkward silence. At the same time, if I keep talking it feels like I’m just monologuing at her. To be fair, this doesn't happen all the time. If the girl is really immersed or talkative it does feel like a two-way convo.

@Devilicious had the insight that in fact, this might not necessarily be a bad thing. While it’s certainly possible that she’s confused and wondering why I’m talking so much about travel, it could also be that she’s in trance and very immersed in the verbals. It could also be dependent on her archetype. Where some archtypes make it a more two-way thing and other types like to just sit and listen to you talk(like ocp vs sub maybe). The key is to be using all of your verbal firepower, something Bacchus has discussed (which is a work in progress, but it’s getting better)

There’s also something in hypnosis called the “hypnotic blitz” where you start monologuing on a hypnotic theme such as relaxation, and so I wonder if there are any similarities with this.

My strategy for getting her more involved in the convo is to sprinkle in questions that will lead to SOT-type stuff. So for example with travel I might talk about how even the most mundane things like “taking a walk” suddenly become so exciting in a foreign country —> Which means you’re radiating good vibes —> and the locals get curious about you because you’re foreign and your vibe is magnetic.

Then I might ask her “Do you remember the last time you had to have a conversation with someone where there was a language barrier? what did that feel like?” and then I can get her talking a little about this to transition into the topic of connection and different types of connection(how you tend to notice the sensory aspects more when you’re talking to someone who doesn’t speak your language.

Then I can talk about how some cultures sidestep this issue entirely actually….She might ask how… and then I can go into discussing how different cultures express chemistry differently (with eye contact, touch, dancing etc..) (these are SOT’s that have shown up in Bacchus’s lay reports)

Another thing I need to work on is qualifying, I think. I have been getting a lot of girls immersed and talking. About half the girls I approach hook and another half of those will give me a phone number, but I found it was still a bit venue specific. Some places lots of girls will give me their number but in other places, I struggled even to get a girl stopped and I got tons of blowouts. I think it’s good to be going to a range of venues for this reason because different venues will force you to work on different skills. But I was finding the numbers still are very much duds. Even when I thought it was a really strong interaction. So I will need to make it a point to add some more qualification and see what that does.

Some other ideas I wanted to test out for openers on walking sets are “Has anyone ever told you you give off Libra vibes” and “Has anyone ever told you that your spirit animal is probably a kitten” Because it got annoying reusing the same opener over and over again.

Today's Outing

Spoiler: Instant Date

It was a good outing today. I first did some campus approaches but the second girl I approach turned into an instant date. We got some boba nearby but she had to bounce a little while later because her housemate got home and lost her job earlier. But if I’m being honest, the real reasons I didn’t pull were I didn’t feel it was on just yet, and also I was being a bitch. I was also winging logistics on the fly since I had never instant-dated a girl from a college campus before. But I noticed that when we sat at the bench in the boba tea place, she was sitting kind of far from me, so I got up to get some napkins and used that as an excuse to sit a little closer. Then there was a point where our knees were barely touching and I kept it there to see how she’d react but she eventually shifted and crossed her legs. I shouldn’t read into this and it could also mean that she was feeling a little shy about the first contact but I felt because of that it wasn’t quite on yet. I did some very light sex talk such as purity gambit just to establish nonjudgemental frames, and also touched upon the SOT of shamelessness a little bit but I’m not quite experienced with expanding upon that yet. Also she asked me if I do this often, talking to people who are walking and I told her sometimes you see someone and you get the sense that they’re a kindred spirit. She really liked how I opened her and said I should keep doing it but then said “yea you can make a lot of friends that way” So I just said yea you never know what might happen.

Spoiler: Subway Approach

Also did a train station approach. Positioned myself near this tanned brunette with a nice ass (she was a bit older though) I found out she was actually Brazilian. She was receptive but I think she might’ve been married because she had a ring and given her age it wouldn’t be totally unlikely. Told her we should get a coffee sometime and she was like “yea maybe if we run into each other” I tried to exchange numbers but she said maybe just see if we encounter each other again. I think I need to get better at managing when the girl’s stop will be so I can time number closes better. Or just in general figure out how to manage logistics so that I can derail their plans.

Number closed another girl. I opened her and told her she looked like Jessica Alba and she was skeptical and her body language was wack (she looked like she was still about to walk off) so I called it out and she’s like yea she’s about to go to her pilates class after she gets a coffee but she was intrigued by what I said. So I thought just number close and she’s like “Is that your pickup line?” so I said “well we don’t got a lot of time!” and she agreed with that. So I will call her instead. She didn’t respond to my icebreaker and tbh the thought of calling her is a little bit intimidating.

It's hard to be all that fussed about a particular phone number being a dud because I know I can just go out the next day, get a bunch of solidly attractive girls immersed in a convo, vibe with them, enjoy each other's energy, and get more phone numbers.

So the way I'm thinking about it now is don't stress over whether a number that you get will pan out. phone numbers (and more importantly immersed girls) are so abundant now so just focus on going out each day, picking a particular mannerism/hypnotic element/conversational transition to practice, and just gradually incorporate that into your skillset. Just these past couple of days feel like such a big improvement. Let me elucidate that

• I have so much more to say when I use elicitation. Before a girl would give an answer to the golden question or travel question and I'd just be like "oh okay!"
• I can hit upon SOT's a lot more reliably now. If she's immersed enough I can now do it through certain routes. Before I was stuck on just fun-positive topics. I still feel I need to make more progress here but it's already much better than what I was doing before.
• I feel sooo much more comfortable opening girls waiting for the subway! There is a delicate balance on how much small talk you should do in your pre-opener before going into the RPO and it's different for different scenarios I'm realizing. If you get too stuck on the small talk it can sometimes shut down the conversations for more immersive routes.
• All of a sudden, opening girls in the financial district has gotten so much easier. I remember a couple of years ago, I could do 12 approaches and get all blowouts. And even a few months ago I was struggling to hook girls consistently there.
• First college campus instant date!

 

[Skippy]

Latest Learnings and updates for this week:

• Approach volume was really poor. Only did 11 approaches in total this week. jesus. Partly because of a friend visiting and being fried from work. But even on the days that I went out, I only managed 2-3 approaches.
• Started adding some SOI's and qualification in to my interactions as well as mildly disagreeing with her on certain aspects to make the qualifying more impactful. Nothing crazy just might say "oh you seem like a really adventurous person" or whatever.
• I'm tracking micro-statistics related to number-to-date to see what I can learn from that. It's notoriously easy to get phone numbers now but they were also notoriously flakey last week. I'm tracking the fraction that responds to the ice breaker, the fraction that gets into a convo from the ice breaker, and the fraction that come out on a date from the text convo.
• Generally after adding in point 2, I'm finding there's more responses to the icebreaker but hard to say yet whether it translates to more convos and dates as well.
• When I send an icebreaker, and she responds, continue the thread with more stuff. I had a bad habit of just waiting the next day to reinitiate with a gm ping, but that's stupid. I already pinged her with an icebreaker and anything I would've followed up with to my gm ping the next day would also work as material following the icebreaker.
• I'm still figuring out what the ideal follow-up to the icebreaker should be. I found in the past that if I make it too flirty it ends up tanking the thread. But something too boring is obviously too boring.
• @Devilicious Had a great suggestion of opening her with "you'll never guess what happened" or "I just realized sth about you"(SMMA Classic), as the ice breaker when you think it'll be an interaction where she won't otherwise respond. Otherwise do the normal icebreaker.
• I'm on day 72 of nofap. 18 more days to go. My sex drive has been strange. I always wake up with boners if I get enough sleep, but in field, I wasn't getting that raw horniness this week that pushes me to approach in spite of AA. It's almost like I was more driven on day 14 of nofap. But I think because this week was a low-volume week, I was also feeling rustier in my approaches.
• I should make it a point to always do grocery store approaches at the end of the day. Even if there isn't much talent on a particular day, it's important to not be rusty so that when it's a day where you do like a girl, you can actually go for it. If it's been a while doing grocery store approaches, I noticed I was hesitant to go into a stimulating question. Partly from AA I suppose.
• If I'm walking with a girl and she doesn't stop, just keep walking with her and don't eject by "having to go in another direction". If you keep walking with her, worst case she thinks you're a bit "high effort" in trying to talk to her but realistically she won't even question it. if you eject... well that just ended the interaction or you're left with a really unsolid number. Just give some excuse like "you are getting your steps in" so that you don't have to say "oh yea I'm going to a particular place...gotta go this way!"
• Cold reading her with "oh you seem like you're on a mission" is currently on probation. I don't like it anymore because it puts her more in a "I gotta focus on where I'm heading" mindset instead of "let me 'spontaneously live in the moment' and stop to chat with this attractive and charismatic guy for a bit"

 

[Conquistador]

I'm on day 72 of nofap. 18 more days to go. My sex drive has been strange. I always wake up with boners if I get enough sleep

Yeah sleep is key. Biggest single factor for me, even more important than current streak.

, but in field, I wasn't getting that raw horniness this week that pushes me to approach in spite of AA. It's almost like I was more driven on day 14 of nofap.

Because you probably were, haha.
There are a series of jumps/plateaus the body reaches. The first one comes at day 5 when the urge to release goes down.
Around where you’re holding, the body has become completely used to not blowing. This is how guys who don’t self-pleasure at all do it; it’s not so hard if the body is locked into that mode.
@StrayDog and @Wick could tell you more about this than I can, but I’d strongly recommend integrating some kind of meditation/breathwork/yoga or whatever works for you as a daily practice. It’ll help keep the energy flowing the way it should and all that.

 

[Calibration]

Yeah sleep is key. Biggest single factor for me, even more important than current streak.

Because you probably were, haha.
There are a series of jumps/plateaus the body reaches. The first one comes at day 5 when the urge to release goes down.
Around where you’re holding, the body has become completely used to not blowing. This is how guys who don’t self-pleasure at all do it; it’s not so hard if the body is locked into that mode.
@StrayDog and @Wick could tell you more about this than I can, but I’d strongly recommend integrating some kind of meditation/breathwork/yoga or whatever works for you as a daily practice. It’ll help keep the energy flowing the way it should and all that.

Have you had premature ejaculation if you've retained for a long time?
Btw, have you heard of lazy retention?

 

[Conquistador]

Btw, have you heard of lazy retention?

I haven’t, at least.

 

[Skippy]

Have you had premature ejaculation if you've retained for a long time?

I have, yeah. During foreplay, it happened and totally killed the seduction. I just need to remind myself that it's a possibility and not stimulate my penis so much. If it's been a while it's more that you forget what it's like to bust a nut and how there's a point of no return. So I was rubbing my dick on her panties and didn't realize you could overdo it :0 Focus more on arousing her with my hands and mouth and don't stimulate my penis so much. During sex, it happens too. My future strategy for minimizing that is to just wear extra thick connies. But I'm not too fussed about it. When I get to the point where it will be a regular concern, I'm sure it'll sort itself out

 

[Skippy]

Last month I wrote about this date with the Lingerie Merchant and received really good feedback

This past month I did a jaunt in a different city (still in the us). I thought it’d be fun to revisit a city I had lived in, before I had seriously done any cold approach and to see what it would be like now that I’m older and wiser. Boy was I in for a surprise…I had not expected it would be such a grueling experience, but at the same time I made tremendous progress and I’m curious to see how the lessons will pay off now that I’m back home. It was probably one of the most intense periods of my gaming career so far.

Each day, this week I will be posting about my learnings from a different category (How to Manage a Jaunt, Game, Texting, Dates, Killer Instinct and maybe one or two other topics)

Overall Results​

The volume, density, and quality of the girls in this city were amazing. While the diversity could’ve been a little better, I still have no complaints. First, let me start off with the stats

Outings	Points	Approaches	Hook	Numbers	iDates	Dates	Pulls	Lays
20	201	118	34	20	1	1	0	0

• The first couple of days I struggled quite a bit to get any hooks and numbers. Then I made some tweaks from Bacchus’s material and I noticed my hook rate go back up. I had actually been having some issues with that again before I arrived
• The third week, I had a date with a girl that was very much my type. She was into me. We made out, but no pull because my time management and logistics management was bad. She had to leave for an early morning flight which added to the challenge.
• Had very few hooks and numbers on the last week. Partly due to an endorphin crash from the date that fucked with my state a little bit and also because I busted a nut and my sleep schedule destabilized.
• All in all the hook rate is actually much better than it looks and probably closer to 50% when I’m feeling good micro-momentum. The approach-to-number rate would also be a little higher but the last week I was more focused on going for instant dates as well. But anyways numbers don’t mean anything by themselves.
• The number-to-date ratio was utter garbage this trip. What’s more, is that most of these numbers didn’t respond to the icebreaker, or if they did, they ghosted shortly after. I think only 2-3 numbers actually responded to anything more.
• The one girl that got into a long text interaction actually turned out to be flakey and noncommittal and we never did end up meeting (she was using maybe’s and probably’s whenever it came down to making plans only to ghost on the days we were supposed to meet up and then resumed responding as if nothing had happened)
• Blowouts did happen on occasion but they were probably less common than usual. Girls overall were warm and friendly even if that didn't automatically translate to more hooks.
• Most of the approaches were busy-street-game, and maybe only about 5-10 grocery store approaches.

Tomorrow, I will be sharing what I learned about managing a Jaunt, and some details regarding logistics, time, energy, and attention management

 

[Malboro]

• The first couple of days I struggled quite a bit to get any hooks and numbers. Then I made some tweaks from Bacchus’s material and I noticed my hook rate go back up. I had actually been having some issues with that again before I arrived

• All in all the hook rate is actually much better than it looks and probably closer to 50% when I’m feeling good micro-momentum. The approach-to-number rate would also be a little higher but the last week I was more focused on going for instant dates as well. But anyways numbers don’t mean anything by themselves.

Can you share what changes improved your hook rate? Seems like you do a lot of day game and hooking 50% of your approaches is pretty good.

 

[Kvothe]

I think if you're traveling somewhere for super short (unless the interaction is golden)-pushing for an instadate is your best bet

 

[Skippy]

Can you share what changes improved your hook rate? Seems like you do a lot of day game and hooking 50% of your approaches is pretty good.

Yeah good question, I'll make today's post on Hooking Lessons instead of Jaunt Management since I can save that for tomorrow when I'm going to be going out in the field anyway.

Hooking Lessons​

• Rethinking the emotional state I'm trying to evoke from her on the open. It should be a "yeah I agree" from her instead of trying to build intrigue. Intrigue is fine too, I think, but the issue is that "when and how" you release the intrigue can lead to some unpredictability.
• I used to open with a cold read on a girl's walk but that actually comes a little too close to seeming like I'm hitting on her, which is not what I was intending. Not saying you can't open a girl with a compliment ofc, but it's just not really the style I'm learning so I scrapped cold reads on the girl's walk and instead did more cold reads on the girl's vibe and persona. So stuff like "has anybody ever told you, you seem...X"
• Now the actual cold read I do makes a difference and that boils down to being able to read a girl's vibe accurately, which takes practice. I'm not fully there yet either and I've had it flop a couple of times. And some days I had very few hooks because one of the cold reads I was using frequently was not conducive to anything eg. "you seem very focused"
• Experimenting with my facial expression on the open. I recorded myself doing an opener once and I noticed I seemed too serious so I practiced a warm smile in the mirror and got the 'nose crinkle' down as well to make it look more authentic.
• After I had some results with the warm smile I also noticed some interesting results with switching to "soul gazing" with a gentle smile. This is hard to explain, but I'd open a woman with "has anybody ever told you..." and then gaze deep into her eyes the way you would if you were affectionately gazing into the eyes of a puppy that was lying on it's back and looking up at you. The first time I did it was on this tall Russian chick with beautiful blue eyes and I noticed how her eyes widened with excitement. I had a couple of really long interactions that way, but want to experiment with this some more. I think it has some potential. I first picked up this soul gaze from my ex who would clamor on top of my chest after sex and do it to me, and the soul gaze is how I would return eye contact to her. I think it's basically a type of eye contact that releases a lot of serotonin and is different from a "seductive" or "flirtatious" type of eye contact that you might also employ
• Having a stack and riffing on the stack as practice for all the different conversational avenues this could be. My stack is simple enough. It's open --> expand upon the cold read ---> Where she'd travel, set sexual frames there, have her stimulated --> Where she's from ---> Golden question -->Light qualifying --> Close of some sort. I had to especially practice riffing for the travel and golden question. And keep in mind my number-to-date ratio needs improvement rn so I wouldn't necessarily use this stack but the main point is the idea of having a stack and making the open-ended parts fluid by doing riffing drills at home. And I also can't say I've been executing this stack exceptionally well either. Hard to say but I'm working on it.
• Experimenting with how far ahead of her I am before I open and try to stop her. This I'm still experimenting with but in order to get a good street stop, you might want to try different things like 1 meter, 2 meters.
• Hand stopping gesture

 

[Skippy]

My Lessons on Managing a Jaunt​

Time Management​

Spoiler

• I would generally finish work around 4-5:30 and go to the downtown area for a few hours, aiming to rack up at least 15 points (1 pt approach, 3 attempted close) before returning home to eat dinner. Usually around 9pm. At home, in theory, I would review the audio from the interactions and pause it every now and then to riff off of what was being said. In practice, I would just chill and pass the time with various things including updating the stats for the day, texting leads, and browsing the web.
• Also traveling 1-1.5 hours each day is just a major waste of time when you consider the fact that your time is already really tight. During a daygame jaunt, you want to be spending every waking minute approaching. You don’t even have time to breathe. The last thing you want is to be wasting it on bus rides.
• So if you’re working 9-5 for example, it’s especially helpful to live just a few minutes away from your daygame venues so that you can step out for an hour or two mid-day. My hours are flexible, but I still need to roughly be available in case someone wants to ask me a question or for meetings. You can also daygame from 5-8pm but you could be doing approaches in the extra half an hour it takes to get there. It just added an unnecessary barrier.
• I had the internet unblocked on my phone for many days but this turned out to just be a time-wasting avenue. I thought I might need it for something but if I'm in the US, this is highly unlikely. Just keep the usual blocks intact.
• Because a Jaunt can be more emotionally topsy turvy than my standard pickup life I realized how important it is to have a meditation habit set up even before I arrive as it will help keep me grounded and allow me to execute the schedule more smoothly.
• Here’s how I would do it over for next time: 8-9 wake up, 9-12 work, 12-2 go out for a lunch-time session or just find two hours before 5, 2-5 work some more, 5-8 do another session,8-9 dinner, 9-11 review infield audio and recap stuff, think about different things to try etc…11-12 nighttime routine

Planning in Advance​

Spoiler

• Going in May was a bit of a mistake. I had a decent number of days where I would go out but there were not too many sets because it was freezing cold and people were staying inside. Or it was raining. Lesson is Do not pick a time to visit unless you’re sure the weather the entire month will be good. No 50-50 “Oh I think there will be some days that will be good” No, I need to be sure pretty much every day will be good.
• Have my date plans made in advance, before I get to the city, and within the first week have that shit figured out. Especially, find a couple of spots where I can sit with a girl side-by-side. Have a few cafes in mind and a few bars. That’s three separate things. One of my spots should be accessible at any hour of the night. Have all this figured out in advance and then spend the first week double-checking it. The reason being, when you’re on a jaunt, you’re going to have more ‘spontaneous’ and ‘same-day’ and ‘immediate’ meets with girls so you’re not really going to have time to think of something. Also time is very scarce so I do not want to be spending a lot of time researching this stuff when I'm there.
• For nighttime venues, the first week, it’s not a bad idea to just walk around and check out some places yourself. In fact, I think every week I should be exploring at least a couple new venues.
• Pack those lube sachets instead of buying a bottle of lube at the convenience store.
• For nighttime venues, someone who knows the scene is probably the best resource (so try out gameglobal’s telegram groups if you don’t know anyone or befriend people on your first night out and ask them)
• For nighttime venues, online is generally not a good resource…at least I didn’t get good recs when I tried to search. They were either bad logistically or had cover. Eff that.

Logistics​

Spoiler

• My choice of logistics turned out to be a huge mistake. The district I chose was only about a 15 min uber to the main daygame spots, but the problem is it was 30-40 min by public transport. This means I can’t really just pop out of the house for a quick lunch-time daygame session. And I’m basically forced to wait until my last meeting for the day is over before I can leave the house.
• Because of that, I was basically restricted to 2-3 hours on weekdays to daygame.
• The logistics ended up cockblocking me on the date because the girl used that as an objection to coming back to my place thinking I lived far (she didn’t realize it was only 15min by uber but she had already decided it was too risky by the time I told her that) She was considering it though…
• Goes without saying but there were no visible cafe’s or restaurants or anything from where I lived. It was extremely residential. My plan for dates was to just do them in the downtown area and pull by saying it’s only a 15min uber. But it would’ve been unlikely to meet for a date in my district because there's literally nothing to do there.
• Another really important thing to factor in is, while it was still workable(just inconvenient) to go out for daygame, for nightgame I found logistics matter even more! Consider that you don’t want to be paying inflated uber prices at 2am when most people are trying to leave and also consider that many subway lines and bus routes shut down after midnight.
• Getting home at night with shitty logistics (by shitty I mean anything where you’re not a walking distance from the bars you’re at): Take a bus or train that’s still operating reasonably close to your house and then Uber the rest of the way. That way you avoid the Uber surge pricing and you minimize the absurd wait times for a bus that will take you home (Or just live in nyc, I guess)

Food + Energy Management​

Spoiler

• There are 4 dimensions across which to judge food: convenience, price, healthiness, and taste. Given the circumstances of a Jaunt, convenience and health are the main considerations this time. In the US, I would probably get as many ready-made items from Trader Joes as I could. I would only get what I need for the next day so that I have an excuse to purchase stuff from Trader Joes every day which means I can plausibly deniably hit on the girls there. In fact, I would try to end all my daygame outings with some grocery shopping and at least one approach at the Trader Joes
• I would also look into morning and nighttime teas to assist in being awake and falling asleep
• I also ate out a lot more often but that was because I wanted to sample the food in this city. I would oftentimes use that as a reward for hitting my points target that day. But oftentimes it was just convenient on friday and saturday nights to eat out after a daygame outing and then go do nightgame.
• I would recommend to myself to only cook one dish at a time and keep eating that for lunch and dinner until I finish off the ingredients.
• Electrolytes to avoid exhaustion from walking around a lot.
• I didn’t know this in advance but sundays were pretty bad for game because the volume was mostly people in groups and the public transit was spotty. So I actually wonder if sleeping and recuperating on Sundays is a better idea than trying to go out and make something happen.
• Arrive in the city with a nofap streak of at least a few days if you can. You’ll have that kid in a candy store experience and generally, I felt hooking was better when I was on nofap.

 

[Skippy]

Weekly Review​

Daygame​

This week I was mostly getting settled in. I did some bookstore approaches on some two-sets but I wasn’t sure where to take the conversation further if it was two girls. They responded really well though

Doing the Book RPO and then following it up with “that’s why it’s a big commitment” seemed to feel very relatable to them and one of the girls was like “but if that’s how it made you feel you should totally get it!”. Maybe try doing a pair cold read, like “something tells me you’re the more spontaneous one of the two. I bet you’re the one who likes to…and you’re the one who likes to…”

Working on: Getting the phone numbers to be more solid. I think the way I’ll go about that is to end things after I’ve stimulated her with an SOT, OR use that to suggest grabbing a quick coffee on the spot. It was pointed out to me that if I wait for when it feels right, usually it means I’ve reached a natural stopping point and so the girl doesn’t feel compelled to do anything more. Rather if I escalate things logistically before I feel ready(before there's a natural cool-off point) then it might lead to better results because she’s still in the “Ohh I want to experience more” and the last emotion she had was stimulation which is what she remembers.

• Riff on SOT’s when you get home, and review audio infields as usual so that you can better work them into the interactions.
• As soon as she seems stimulated from an SOT, escalate in some way, mainly with an instant date ask.
• Reread all of teevster’s articles on qualifying. I do that a little more now, but I think I could be doing it better.

Nightgame​

Friday night, I just went to get the ball rolling, did two approaches but didn’t push it much. I only stayed for an hour and a half because I was exhausted. Point was just to build the habit of consistently going out. I feel like I’ve been making too many excuses about the weather and “too busy” , “too tired”, other bullshit. So that’s going to change


Saturday night, went out to the gay district. I was in line and this Latina came on to me. She was with her uncle, who left us alone in the barclub and encouraged us to dance, and I tried to pull her later for a nightcap and she was down but her uncle said she needed to go home. The next morning she responded to my texts but was not keen. ah well it was a funny experience nevertheless. Although a little gloomy on her end. She recently just got out of a 10-year relationship and has a kid.

Then I approached this two-set by asking the girls how their night was on a scale of 1-10, they said 6 and asked me back as well. Then they tried guessing where I’m from and I asked them how they knew each other and whether when they first met if it was an instant connection. They were roommates and said that one of them brought a guy over on their first night and he snored so they didn’t have a great start but to be fair she then ghosted the guy. I think they asked me about what bars I tried out in the area and eventually they were like “well it was great meeting you! enjoy the rest of your night” and continued on. Should I have tried to lead them to a bar here? The thing is their energy was really good but this has been a common sticking point of mine during night game where I open well, even get a soft hook, but am not sure how to continue. Usually, I’m the one who just ejects when this happens. Or things go stale pretty quickly. Also, I’m not sure what to do in those cases where it’s a two-set, how to focus on one of the girls. Once, I was talking to a two set and one of the girls was giving me more interest and the other was was kind of hanging back and checking uber so I number closed the girl I was talking to, but if they’re both talking to me then I’m not quite sure yet.

Working on: Transitioning off of the 1-10 opener (need to think about this more and brainstorm solutions) into hooking and isolating

Lessons​

• If you’re dancing with a girl for too long, things will get stale so you need to pull her eventually.
• If she’s looking back at her friends and checking up on them, it’s a sign she’s probably not going to leave them so it’s more efficient to try to pull sooner and then go approach other girls or you need to address that somehow.

 

[Skippy]

FR+ Daygame Date that I mentioned above (May 20th, 2023)​

How we met: I noticed her standing around late at night as I was about to go meet a friend to hit the bars. So I quickly opened with a high authority direct opener and she says “thanks but I’m just traveling” but still she responded really well. She’s curious where I’m visiting from and guesses New York. Later I guess she’s from Brooklyn but she was like “no, but I would be flattered”. I was setting a lot of sexual frames with travel gambit and she was eating them up and contributing to the discussion. I tell her if she happens to have time we should hangout (this was friday night and she was here traveling with her friend and only in town for the weekend, leaving sunday morning) She mumbles “I’m in the phase of life where I’m generally open to such things”. Wonderful.

First Venue​

We meet saturday night at a barcade that she was at with her friend, she lets me try her drink, I order a drink, and we find a place in the bar where it's just a ledge to stand by the window. I honestly didn't see any better options. She jokes about the view out of the window and at this point we were still stuck in boring fluff talk since we had spent some time ordering drinks and stuff. So I ask her what's her favorite kind of view whether it's a high rise or a beach(lol) and when she asks me back. I use it to tell her about the episode in love death robot where a guy gets sent to the wrong galaxy and at the space station he encounters an old lover and they hook up to the view of the galaxies and stars. She asks me if I would ever want to go to Mars.

Her friend is there too but she’s just going and doing her own thing and leaving us alone. At one point she came up to ask if she was good and my girl was like yea. I suggested sitting on the couch at one point but for some reason that wasn’t allowed by the bar staff.

Did a little bit more SOT’s with the primal connection and tried to do a reverse sexual state induction when she talked about the TV Show love is blind, but that didn’t really go anywhere. She said “Idk” when I asked her how she would act if we were both contestants on the show and she wanted to show me she was into me. She was like how about you? So I just gave some watered down version of SECT.

Some “boring” talk about her consulting job that she used to have. She’s a bit of a workaholic and she tried online dating for a hot minute but gave up on it. At one point she asked me what my favorite probability distribution was

I switched topics to personality traits to get out of the boring logical stuff. I mean the boring logical stuff could be a good way to show passion, but I wasn’t keen on risking that tonight. Looked up personality traits stuff on my phone as an excuse to get closer again.

Escalating while standing side by side was a little difficult at the bar. And while she wouldn’t really move away when I got closer, there was clearly more of a gap as time went on. Eventually, she goes to the bathroom and when she comes back she says she’s really enjoying this. So I take it as a cue to pull and suggest some mango wine that I had seeded earlier. She’s hesitant because she thinks I live “far” but I tell her I’m a 15 min uber away and she thinks about it but ultimately declines because it’s midnight right now and she has to catch a flight at 7 (leave for the airport at 5 and hasn’t packed or anything yet)

Second Venue​

So then I bounce her to the riverside where I know there's some chairs. I put my arm around her chair and was stroking her shoulder. But she wasn’t fully melted. Eventually, I actively pulled her into me and she finally melted, sort of. Eventually, I’m caressing her hands and she’s caressing mine back while we’re talking about deeper topics. I use the riverside view of the skyscrapers as an excuse to get our heads closer together as I point stuff out and make up bullshit but in a soft intimate voice (kind of how you’d look at clouds) Eventually, she gives me that look and we start making out periodically while chatting. I was always the one breaking off the makeouts. She was making no effort to leave but I was getting cold and starting to shiver so I used that as an excuse to try pulling again, but she was still not down. So I walked her back to her hotel.

I received a lot of advice on this privately from many people, so here are my learnings summarized

Lessons​

1. If you're having trouble escalating for whatever reason... Just do a venue bounce or mini venue bounce to some place you're more comfortable with escalating at.
2. Moving faster
   1. I noticed in ALL of my last few dates I tended to go for the pull at the 90+ min mark which is when it feels like things have simmered down. I know this is poor time management but I'm not sure how I should better keep track of time. Maybe have a little buzzer go off on my phone at the 40min mark.
   2. Make an escalation ladder and have that be your focus and when you get to the point of hand caressing then wait for a high note and pull
3. Working with a time constraint
   1. So we met at 10:20 and I first tried pulling at midnight. Even that is a bit late but I wonder if I would've run into the same objection from her at 11:30.
   2. Some advice I got on this was to ask indirectly about time constraints like “oh you’re not the type of girl that has work calls at all hours of the night are you?”
   3. If it's a traveler you can just ask when their flight is roughly. If it's a morning flight you know you need to work fast.
   4. Generally time constraints are less of an issue if you are pulling sooner.
   5. How to smoothly figure out about her time constraints otherwise?
   6. The second time…when I suggested going back to my place when we were at the Riverside... That was a mistake because she had already said no to that two hours ago. So she's even less likely to say now. I was betting that she be more aroused after making out but that was incorrect.
4. What wasn't working
   1. I didn't have any structure for my verbals since I've abandoned sex talk gambits for the time being. And I'm working in SOT’s more. And I felt like I had already used up many SOT’s when I initially approached her so I didn't know what to talk about really. I did use the primal connection SOT fairly early on. I think here I just need to forge ahead and just keep leveling up my verbal game and SOT’s but either bring back a conversational structure through questions game or just have a more hashed out list of SOT’s. I didn't feel like introducing questions game when we were at the ledge because I felt it would be odd to do it after we'd already started chatting. I'm also not really sure when I've “said enough" of SOT’s and when it's “over gaming" a
   2. It was hard to escalate on her in the bar because she wasn't ever facing me... So when we were standing side by side, I would do light incidental touches but I didn't know how to be smooth about taking her hand. And her hands were holding each other and resting on the ledge. So body-language wise she was staring straight ahead, and I was next to her. I tried steering the conversation to sports and working out, so I could find an excuse to take her hands but the conversation moved on. Initially when we were talking we were standing really close but gradually she shifted away. I used showing her some pictures on my phone of Shanghai as an excuse to get her closer again.
   3. Learn some bullshit palm reading gambit so you can at least use that when you talk about astrology or personality traits
   4. Be a little more persistent with making things happen. Don't just give up at the first sign of resistance. Especially since you know both of you wanted this to happen. So learn how to persist in a calibrated way (I gotta figure that out). In this case I should have asked if they had a hotel room together and if so then I should've suggested booking another room at her hotel. But I didn't think I had enough leverage to do that at midnight when I first tried to pull.
5. What was working
   1. Sitting on the chairs by the river side was a decent idea because I could properly escalate on her in a setting that I was comfortable and familiar with.
   2. In general when a girl suggests a location for a date, just go along with it but have a nearby location to bounce to if the one she picked turns out to be a dud
   3. Pulling her into me and being a little more dominant with the physicality rather than being overly cautious.
   4. Pairing physical escalation with deeper conversation... Idk at least in my mind it seemed to work. But really I think anything emotionally stimulating or SOT-esque can be paired with physical escalation
   5. Showing her something on your phone always works to get her closer.
   6. Pointing out buildings as an excuse to get our faces closer together
   7. Putting this all together here's what I would've done differently. When it became clear that her friend was leaving us alone, chat with her at the bar for about half an hour or so. Bounce to the riverside to escalate a bit more. Don't kiss her but stop at mutual hand caressing. And after about 10-15 min of that suggest the mango wine. She'll decline. Suggest calling her an Uber. She might still decline, at this point. Suss out her objections by saying something like “What? Are you afraid I’m going to fuck you for 10 hours or something? Look, I’m good but I’m not that good” (Credit: Velasco)
   This allows you to then get her actual objections using a humorous agree and amplify

 

[Skippy]

Weekly Review​

Daygame​

It was a relatively slow week on the approaching side of things. Friday and Saturday I went out, but could not find all that many sets during the day. During the weekday, I trawled the downtown area but the volume just wasn't what I was hoping for. I did have two days where I reached my target. one was at a college campus, so that’s not going to be sustainable in the coming weeks. Or maybe it will. worth a shot anyway I guess.

Working on:

• Adding in the golden question after the travel gambit, and making it more harmonic
• Asking questions to get her more involved in the discussion with SOT’s
• Using fantasy vs desire, explorer vs adventurer, or that one Glow shared which I am revisiting
• (home) riffing on SOT’s and their subtopics

Nightgame​

Friday: Went to the nearby barclub, I think I did about 5 approaches but didn’t get much in terms of hooks. I also wasn’t planning to stay out all night because I needed to wake up a little early but I ended up staying pretty much all night. Just left before the gutter game options. I think hesitating too long causes the approaches to flop. And by that, I mean dancing nearby for some time but not approaching. Much better to do it sooner. Unlike in daygame where you can wait a bit to approach as you’re still catching up to her. I think the main issue I had was that girl couldn’t hear me all that well. Because one girl I approached and she was like “I can’t hear you” and then her and her friends moved to a different part of the bar soon after. Ouch Also, I only have “two” openers right now. One is a cold read about how she seems very at home with the place, which has flopped pretty much all the times I used it that night (probably because it wasn’t true) and the other was 1-10 opener. But I don’t think I used it at all that night.

Saturday: Tried out another barclub that I had been to once before. People were very friendly and hooking was easy, but they were the soft hooks, where the interaction didn’t last long or anything. To be fair, I didn’t sexualize all that much either or bring much juice, and I lost a lot of interactions due to distractions. But I’m still getting the hang of hooking in nightgame. Wasn’t able to do gutter game either because I realized the bus home only comes once an hour.

Interestingly enough, I actually felt very little anxiety standing in line or whatever and I thoroughly enjoyed myself both nights. I only had some slight reticence leaving the coziness of my house but once I was out, it was fine.

Working on:

• making a nighttime routine for before I leave the house
• Field testing reality pace openers
• making a stack

Lessons​

1. My main goal this month is to just install a nightgame habit of going out twice a week. This means talking to at least two girls each outing and staying in the venue for at least two hours. And more importantly, to enjoy going out alone to the point where I would even be looking forwardto my nights out. There are a couple of things I want to have in place:
   1. A proper routine for before I leave the house
   2. A plan for which venues I’m visiting on which nights, and how I’m getting home with minimal hassle
   3. A proper wind-down routine to fall asleep and ensure that my sleep schedule remains intact for the remaining days.
2. On going for it:
   1. No more phone numbers this month. If she asks for my number that's fine but I'm not going to bait her into asking. (Edit: if it’s a lunchtime approach then fine, I’ll take a number)
   2. (at home)Mentally visualize the interactions that abruptly ended and go over how you'd have done it again.
   3. Call out the unsmoothness if you don’t know what to do, and proceed anyway. AND EVEN IF YOU MISSED THE CHANCE THE FIRST TIME, RUN BACK AFTER HER AND DO IT ANYWAY.
   4. When you are reflecting on your interactions, think about how you could've persisted
3. For instant dates do it after golden question to solidify the hook.

 

[Skippy]

Updates​

This past month I was in New York for a daygame jaunt.

I don’t have a nice breakdown with all my numbers and stats this time because it was honestly way too many approaches to even bother keeping track of. I went in thinking I would “push” myself and do 10 approaches a day. But setting a target like that was totally unnecessary. I had no issues approaching.

In terms of results, it was underwhelming on paper: just one date, one instant date, and one bar/nighttime street makeout. The date and instant date both were from direct approaches. Also the date was from last year, so it doesn’t really count. There's clearly something major missing in my interactions.

What's odd is that my results in New York were actually better last year. It's puzzling because, in theory, all aspects of my game have improved, even my fundamentals. My inner game even improved too. On one hand, I'm legit stoked about the progress I've made in the past 7 months. But on the other hand, I’m curious why the results didn't show it. After all, results are the real measure of progress at the end of the day.

Hook rate was about 1/3 and number close rate was about 1/6. Nothing to write home about.

Overall, it was a challenging trip but loaded with lessons. I definitely got that feeling of immersion. What I loved about it was that every day I had at least one solid interaction where it just felt super on between me and the girl. Whether it was a long convo with a girl that was my type, or maybe just the vibe between us felt very charged. Or both. And basically a golden hook every other day. So there’s that at least.

Unfortunately, pretty much all of the phone numbers either ghosted on the icebreaker or responded to the icebreaker and then ghosted. And the one girl who was(and still is) highly responsive over text was totally bonkers (also I opened direct).

I even spent a few days just going direct to see if it would change anything (I don’t plan on switching to direct full-time but I felt like it would give me some clues into what the missing ingredients could be)

Notable interactions​

• HBWeed- I was learning how to sexually vibe more. I opened her around 9pm as she was walking from a park. Immediately very comfortable with me standing close to her. She initially stopped to talk but then said she had to catch a train back to jersey so we kept walking. Suddenly she spots a weed shop and asks me if I smoke, I told her I don’t but we can go in and get her some. In the shop we were also standing really close to each other basically touching and looking deep into each others eyes. I couldn’t even keep track of what I was saying. It was so fucking on that the only way I could’ve escalated more at that point is by leaning in to kiss her (which I didnt). Then she asks me if I want to get anything, and pays for her weed. As we’re walking back outside I tell her I live nearby and that we can go smoke at my place and I can make a cup of tea as well. She declines but offers her number. Very warm response to my icebreaker…and then radio silence the next morning when I try to follow up….I texted her a week later with a hail marry soft close and she responds saying “sorry for leading you on, I’m actually in the early stages of seeing someone and that night I had a few drinks and was a little tipsy and my decision making wasn’t the best, but I appreciate the invite. ”
• HBHappyHour — I was in high momentum from another chick I had approached where the vibe was also really charged. She looked alright at least but I wasn’t really that excited about her, and was mainly acting upon the social high I was feeling. I opened her asking for some directions to a metro stop. Turns out she’s also looking for the same one so we go search for it together. I made sure to lead decisively here because I knew it would be an especially good thing. (when you can be decisive in situations of confusion). I was also feeling pretty blasé about her tbh. Finally we get directions and find the metro station. Meanwhile I’m just chatting with her on typical stuff. At some point, I see a natural segue into more juicy topics so I ask her whether her parents were strict about dating. She opens up a bit and says how she can’t believe she’s “spilling so much tea right now” and tells me a bunch of stuff that I don’t remember now. She also references sex in the city and compares herself to that. Later she says how it’s hard to meet people in ny. Then it’s my stop and I ask her what she’s up to today and she decides to get off at the stop with me (and she’ll walk a couple streets up to her house) But she also says she’s like a granny and sleeps super early these days. While we’re walking she tells me she’s been trying to put herself out there more and be more open to spontaneous interactions like this. She walks with me and we reach my apartment and she asks if she can give me a hug. Guess what…I DID NOT invite her up. I DID NOT pass go. I DID NOT collect $200. Instead, I just took a phone number out of politeness and seeded drinks. Understandably, I got a lot of shit from a bunch of people about that. So I at least tried setting up a date. She was responsive over text but rather delayed in her responses. When we were supposed to meet, she texts me saying she can’t make it and asked to reschedule and subsequently ghosted. lol. Mistakes were made…
• HBSexMuseum — Instant date that I had. I opened her direct. I was trying something new that week of totally winging the conversation. Still talked about SOT’s of passion and a little bit about connection but misjudged how long of a walk it would be to the ice cream shop that I was pitching. She wanted us to walk back to where we met after that. She brought up that she went to the sex museum and I didn’t do enough with it. Pull attempt was unsuccessful.
• HBThai — Regrettably I cant think of a more creative name for her But what was noticeable was her energy was super bubbly right from the get go. I opened her with “you seem really bubbly and I bet you bring the energy when you’re hanging out with friends” She was extremely receptive. She even says how she will be visiting my city in October and we should hang out when she’s there. At some point, she asks me my name and I give her my hand and we’re just holding hands for a little bit as I milked the intro. She’s going to a cafe to do work (it was around noon on a weekday) so I couldn’t instant date (I had to go back to work too, because I had just snuck out) But we exchange numbers and I’m thinking it’s a sure thing. I text her and she has a really unenthusiastic response to the icebreaker. and she eventually ghosts.

And plenty more…but the tldr was lots of promising interactions ghosted. Some ended up replying to the Hail Mary soft close about how they were actually seeing someone and enjoyed meeting me as friends (even though I thought the vibe was super on. but maybe she just said that bc asd kicked in) or how they’re ‘not looking for anything romantic rn’ or how ‘don’t see the point since I’m leaving’ (that one was interesting actually since it doesn’t sound like an outright rejection per se…)

Lessons​

• What's your way of expressing yourself-- another variant on the golden question.
• If you like at least one aspect of her looks, you have to approach her. So no excuse for ditching the approach. (Edit: This mindset became unnecessary after a week when I figured out how to get the volume in)
• “Beyond all of the usual things”... What's something that... Blah blah blah. This starts to add some mind-bending spin, and it's a great way to get good answers out of the girl.
• Idea: Qualify a girl based on the reads you get from the 6 min x-ray book. I haven't actually read this book though so not sure if it's any good.
• With your sexual vibe, do that immediately on the open instead of switching into it because it might be incongruent
• Practice riffing in front of the mirror.
• You can't hesitate or let the girl see you waffling around before the approach. It's actually super noticeable to her when you do finally approach and I usually got blown out when I hesitated.
• Keep an eye out for princess vibes, and call out any domineering behavior with a simple facial expression. Like the skeptical look.
• Your current understanding of microescalation needs revision. Putting arm around girl is not microescalation apparently.
• Test touch again when she’s showing signs of intrest like twirling her hair.
• A high five is actually decent because it’s mutual. At least I like it, I know it’s not sexual but it sort of seems like you’re qualifying the person when you do it.
• When walking stop walking for a bit. One way to do that is you can ask her "what color are your eyes" (some advice I got from a skilled seducer that's not on these boards)
• When HBJazz didn’t respond to my omw text I shouldn’t have gone to hug her (well she hugged me) but still. If she's running late or whatever you let her come to you.
• Notice when you’re complying to social pressure and cut that shit out. Like those two Indian girls who were trying to get me to buy drinks for the bride and I didn’t want to outright say no. What the fuck was I thinking? I ended up saying something like “ehhh I don’t really know her”. Obviously I wasn’t going to buy her a drink but the fact that I felt like I had to be “polite” and “graceful” about denying their ask. Even they were like “you can just say no”
• Look into gunwitch method 1
• Idea, game without structure for a month
• When guys say move faster than you think, they mean physical and verbal escalation too, not just logistical escalation.
• You need the overarching frame to start off good. Otherwise you’re going to have to deal with a lot of shit.
• Make her earn your qualification. Think of it as I’m looking for good sex and I don’t give a fuck unless it’s the kind of sex that I want.
• Can you let the convo trickle off without re-engaging?
• Get comfortable being a touchy person. iono about that one but you can do fist bumps and stuff.
• She needs to feel a little bit of discomfort because that’s how it builds sexual tension.
• Let her invest too and don’t do all the work. Give her a chance to win you over.
• “I do not need validation from her but she is trying to get validation from me.”
• Assuming the girl likes you because every girl likes you.
• You need to challenge her, lean back, put less effort, get her talking more. don’t seem so amused by everything she says. If she’s being boring you cut threads.
• For stationary sets start off with hi. If her energy is good, just say “I just noticed something about you.” instead of going the RPO route. because if she’s really enthusiastic when I say “Hi” and I follow up with something casual, I notice she gets a little disappointed. If her energy is neutral then yeah of course go the casual —> RPO route to stimulate her.
• “You seem really pensive right now” or “pre-cold reads” like “you seem like you're suffering” (if she’s carrying a heavy grocery bag). You can use these to open super casually on the street. They’re not as heavy-hitting as the proper cold reads but you can take whatever she says and then go “oh that makes me wonder if you’re the type who….[actual juicier cold read]”
• Mischievous, at home with yourself, good listener, outgoing, genuine, wholesome?, observant,
• Move in close, slight smile, bedroom eyes: super important for vibe.
• Don't go for phone numbers unless you've persisted a couple times for an instant date
• High noting. When you tried to pull HBWeed, notice how it was right after you guys came out of the weed shop and that was a low note. Should’ve stimulated her first a little and then done that.
• Golden hooks during nighttime street game, do some calibrated persistence when going for the pull. But don’t just let her walk off without some calibrated persistence.
• Take a deep breath before an approach so that you're calm and grounded. Breathe down to your balls even. This is super important for reducing the blowout rate.
• Swag walk increases attraction by 100% apparently. And in general, how you move through the world is big
• Nighttime street game: In new york, it’s totally feasible to approach until 11pm on weekdays. Just pick a well-lit area and you could easily go from 5pm to 11pm. Even later if you’re debaucherous enough. but then the volume starts to take a nosedive. On weekends you could go all hours of the night of course.
• Nightgame: You can escalate pretty quickly
• Exit conditions: 0 lays by April 1st. Then I’m definitely leaving my city and moving to ny.
• Stay criteria: 7 lays by April 1st. Then I’m probably staying in my current city.
• Don’t pick a “late night” flight, because it’s essentially the same thing as a red-eye. I had a flight that was landing at 1am which is not bad, but then it got delayed two hours and I ultimately slept at 5am. Not good. I never do red-eye flights either. Fucking up my sleep is just not worth it these days. And red-eye flights WILL fuck my sleep schedule.

 

[Skippy]

More updates, now that I'm back in town. I had an instant date with this Chinese girl and she paid for my boba and instagram closed me(I gave her my number). Vibe wise it wasn't super sexually charged like some of the ny interactions but I felt like she was solidly interested given how much she invested.

But then she didn't respond to my icebreaker and I ended up having a state crash because I thought after all that investment she'd at least be interested. She does finally respond 10 hrs later. Super blandly. So I think I should just ditch phone numbers again for the next month or so. Zero phone numbers and just go with the flow of things.

 

[Beck Bass]

Hook rate was about 1/3 and number close rate was about 1/6. Nothing to write home about.

Really not that bad, those are good numbers, for random daygame approaches (not that I know much about daygame, but I expect hooking completely random girls to be quite a challenge, on average).

Unfortunately, pretty much all of the phone numbers either ghosted on the icebreaker or responded to the icebreaker and then ghosted.

Maybe you're not quite pushing as much as you can in your interactions in person, or maybe you're pushing too much (for a simple phone number, they get too invested and nervous, only way to solve is escalate as much as possible in person or just cut interactions short).

Remember you gotta have the date first, then get the details... Unless you wanna go chill when you met a girl and can only talk for a very brief moment, but then prepare for some extra texting and a bit of an uphill battle to see her in person (unless she's like horny and really into your type).

Also I expect daygame to have that statistic distribution of 1/5 of girls single, so most (even good interactions) likely wouldn't go your way, regardless. Only you can really look back and pinpoint what the problem(s) could be, but overall your effort on the approaches alone is admirable (obviously AA is not a problem for you, and that's already quite an achievement).

Zero phone numbers and just go with the flow of things

Yeah, sometimes you just gotta YOLO it and see how far it gets you... It can really supercharge your game, depending on the situation