snipefield's journey

[ray_zorse]

hey Snipe you've done a shit ton of approaches, I want to give a blow-by-blow critique but I have to be quick so I'm just gonna say props. You seem to be getting a bit of subtle sexual innuendo in there which I'm gonna try to take a cue from. LOL'd at the "need to get blown out" opener, the "do we know each other" was also very nice.
cheers, Ray

 

[snipefield]

November 28

Ventured out for nightgame to the local pub with live music downtown. Upon getting there, I checked the music out a bit and dropped the ball with approaching a girl who was sitting with her friend in a booth. I had noticed her while walking towards the open space in front of the stage and had intended to open after turning around and walking back to the bar.

Our eyes met briefly.... and then I pussied out.

I spent some time sitting idly at the far end of the bar. I must have been real tense, because a girl with a guy actually asked me "What's wrong? You look bored" and I had to deny I was. Very reactionary and beta...

I finally got bored sitting and talking with noone that I went upstairs and opened these three girls.

me: Hey, whatsup! I've been sitting studying all day and I need you guys to blow me out!
girl 1: Uhhh {looks at her friends}..... what do you mean?
me: Well, I just need to guys to come up with the most jarring line for me. Like for example, "you're ugly" or "go away"
girl 2: No, we're not like that
girl 3: Why do would you want that?
me: To get my energy level up........ Well, if you don't want to........ I'm snipefield

They introduce themselves. I talk to two of the girls about their work, etc. The less cute one was standing and giving me more attention. I basically didn't even get a chance for the conversation to develop, because my mental paradigm was set on me just staying there a little bit and then possibly hitting them up later. The standing chick was quite dumbfounded when I ejected all of a sudden politely. As in You're leaving already?

I went back downstairs and enjoyed the music the band was playing, dancing a little bit. I sat down on a bench by a wall and while chilling noticed a girl sitting on a bench across the room motioning to me with her finger. I'm not so sure it was intended for me, but decided it of course doesn't matter.

I introduced myself and she was touchy from the beginning - hippie chick with a nosering and longing black hair. Ashlyn liked my compliment opener and we bantered a little bit. She told me she was waiting for her friend to come from the bathroom in an unassuming genuine tone. As we were talking, this tall dude just stood about a 4 feet away from her, half-turned in her direction. If he was waiting for her, he was being VERY subtle about it. It was interesting to observe this. At a certain point, she ejected politely saying Well, I should get back to my friend and kissing me on the cheek.

I continued being on the dance floor and at a certain point approached a short, curvy blonde who was taking a break on the same bench as Ashlyn. The music was loud and she was being a little bit aloof, and I failed to be physical and dominant.

This same cycle repeated itself later, when I approached a goth-type girl with a large bosom and long hair who was sitting alone at the bar nursing a drink. The conversation got off to a good start with me going direct, but about 4 minutes in, her friend come on the other side and she directed her attention there. I didn't know what to do so ejected.

I really tried hard to stay until 2 AM, but it was about 1:15 AM when I decided to leave. On my way home, I found out that the dance club near my house was having a free night. I hadn't been here before and so was curious to check it out.

Expecting that the place would be packed with a bunch of ravers, I was disappointed upon arrival. The club was indeed big, but there were very few people: probably about 40 in total. I immediately went outside and opened a fat chick and then a blonde girl with nice tits.

me: Hey, whatsup!
bg: Hi.
me: I'm snipefield.
bg: I'm blonde girl.
me: Very nice to meet you. {I decided to practice vocal dynamics on mundane questions for a change}
Where are you from?
bg: The Chicago area.
me: Oh, really?....... (bla bla about Chi town)
me: So, bg, what do you do?
bg: {pauses} What do you do?
me: I asked you first.
bg: You're so eager coming over here, you tell me.
me: I study languages. {let her frame take over}
bg: Which ones?
me: Russian and Japanese.
bg: OK. I'm a paralegal.
me: And do you like doing that?
bg: Yeah, it's ok.
me: OK, doesn't sound like you're that enamored with it
bg: No, it's just I wasn't expecting to talk about work outside of work

We exchanged a few back-and-forths and then she went back in as soon as she was done smoking.

I went back to the dancefloor to check out the music. I really tried to get myself into it, but the music was mediocre and there were almost no girls. And the ones who were there, I wasn't attraced to.

I felt real shitty when I got home. Like an utter failure. Good thing I was able to go to sleep no problem.

Here are my observations about the night. When I came to the bar, I wasn't having fun. Being there was like pulling teeth. See, in the past, I would have of course resorted to alcohol, but I have made a commitment not to drink when going out. The club is supposed to be a place to have fun and not take myself seriously. I'm off somewhere in my inability to achieve this.....

Also sorely lacking from my interactions was a focus on proximity, touch and moving. I could have hugged and moved the college girl and the goth chick. Also, I really regretted not pushing with Ashlyn, the hippie chick (who I later saw dancing and cuddling with that guy). She was clearly friendly and interested, so I wouldn't have lost anything by telling her to give me her number.

I was cool and leaning back when I was talking with the blonde girl at the dance club. Instead of that, I should have been close to her, hugging her and picking her up, etc.

I thought that I was pathetic for my poor performance but wanted to record this either way because there's always something to learn...... I realize it'll be hard to improve if I limit my night interactions to 5 per night and also fail to push my boundaries....

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey man I so hate those premature-eject situations, happens to me a lot too. Just have to facepalm and go on to the next. I think as we gain more experience how to handle diverse situations and read people better it will be less of a problem.

I think with nightgame there are quite a lot of environmental factors that are hard to control in the moment. Like I remember going to a rap night and basically hating it and this would have shown up in my BL. (I am starting to "get" rap now but that's not the issue, it's just an example). Another example is the "BlahBlah Social Club" near my home, there are plenty of good things about it, it's a popular venue and I usually have one drink there when I go out, for intangible reasons I always find it kills my vibe... could be layout, could be flannel wearing punters... dunno but it's really important to find venues that are your speed. These can be thin on the ground so I only do nightgame occasionally, to avoid becoming a regular. Hmm.

You're learning Japanese and Russian? Awesome I'll be sure to include my Japanese in FRs as well as the English translation. If you are on italki, check out the teacher "Misa", she speaks Japanese and Russian and is totally cool. I have a 1hr lesson booked with her tomorrow night. And in Japanese: Be certain to use "ore", not "watashi" or "boku", never use polite speech unless addressing someone who is clearly your superior (and instruct others not to use it with you, "teineigo o tsukawanai de")... automatically add "chan" to any woman's name, never use "san" or "sensei" with women except superiors. I'm still experimenting with command-forms "koko ni suware" or "teineigo o tsukau na", bad reactions so far and my teacher thinks they are too rude for everyday use, but I am sure I can make them work eventually hahahaha.

Cheers bro and keep pimpin, don't be discouraged, based on above report you handled some difficult situations well IMO

 

[snipefield]

Thanks Ray for the insights and support, truly appreciate it, mate! Read your most recent field report, strikes me as a plateau, which just means you're one no closer to a yes! (old sales cliche) Yes, there are indeed not too many nightspots near me (and I'm fairly limited in my transportation options), so I'll make do with what I have.

Yesterday was an extremely busy day and I actually told myself that I wasn't going to open because I really needed to focus in the library. But, then I passed a girl as I was leaving and then I noticed another one. And as soon as I started going up the stairs, I realized my folly. "There are always gonna be excuses. These girls are gorgeous", I thought to myself.

Anyways, I didn't return to speak with those girls and I was already on the way back down the staircase when I saw a slender girl with curly blonde hair from behind as she was climbing the stairs (the two sets of stairs faced each other).

I decided to follow her. Usually, it's hard to catch up to a girl, especially in the library, as the social environment prevents me from being aggressive (it's not even that talking isn't allowed in the lobby, it is, it's more that everyone really would see the approach and I think it would make the girl uncomofortable.

Lucky for me, this girl sat down in the common area and I opener her immediately in a nice lively dominant tone. I complimented her and sat down. We bantered about the usual, she looked young, probably 18, alluded to that, too. Quite vivacious and down-to-earth, I teased her just a tad about attracting me and using the charm to bypass a formal science education to start working on scientific breakthroughs.

i timed it just right and said that I had to get going (really did) and pushed for a meeting. She said she might be travelling out of town and I didn't want to seem needy and push it. She was still sitting when I got up. I wanted some compliance out of her and gave her my hand, which she thought I was extending for a shake. Actually, I told her stand up for a second and then gave her a somewhat feeble hug because she wasn't into. Should have manhandled a bit perhaps...

Another one added to the drip text campaign (more on that later in this post).

Today was an equally crazy day. I'm a bit disappointed I didn't have more approaches, but some is better than none.

1. Taylor
The library's starting to become somewhat of a stomping ground. Mostly not by design, as the interactions flow better when I'm not obsessing over opening. It's almost like my genes are telling me "TALK TO HER, DUMMY!" when I see a pretty girl. The first 5 seconds of an opener are starting to shift into autopilot, although of course I still get approach anxiety.

I entered the lobby foyer and noticed this chick slightly bending zipping her jacket and getting something out of her backpack. She was tall, which caught my eye immediately, because I'm tall and have not been with a tall girl and really want to. She was on my left and I was about to go thru the 2nd set of doors and then turned around, did a loop and came on her right. Caught her just before she was out of there

me: Hey, whatsup!
taylor: {gets headphones out} Hey {questioning}
me: Hey this is a bit forward, but I saw you and think you're cute and want to introduce myself
taylor: {straightens out. Here I notice that she is pretty, but also has a noticeable amount of makeup on. Her hair is in a sexy bun and she has a small bosom, almost not noticeable. Basically model type, I guess. She smiles} Oh no, not at all. {eyes beam} What's your name?
me: I'm snipefield.
taylor: I'm Taylor

bla-bla. I do the usual banter asking her about herself. She was glad to talk to me from start to finish.

me: Taylor, I gotta get going, but it would be great to get a bite to eat sometime. Would you like to do that?
taylor: Yes!
me: OK, how's the weekend looking for you?
taylor: Pretty free
me: OK, shall we say Saturday afternoon.?
taylor: Yea
me: OK, gimme your phone and we'll coordinate later

Texted her and she responded immediately, then waited 20 mins and told her that I'd get in touch in a couple of days to agree on a time to meet and she reponded favorably. Of course, by this point, I know that these don't mean much. As chase said well (and as Ray reminded us recently) REACTIONS <> RESULTS.

2. Mary
I was in gym and there were hotties galore. In fact I saw the german exhchange student I had met there a couple of weeks ago just as I came in we greeted each other, but didn't speak. I'm a little bit paranoid opening here: gotta keep openers on the DL. I had noticed this girl right from the start and towards the end of my workout finally got the balls to approach her. She wasn't even in my section.

me: Hey whatsup?
mary: {startled. starts taking headphones out} ?
me: Hey, this is a bit forward, I usually don't do this, but I saw you and think you're cute and wanna introduce myself to you.
I'm snipefield.
mary: {smiles} I'm Mary
me: Mary?
mary: Yes. Thank you {beams} This is my boyfriend. {big guy swoops in, but good, chill vibe}
me: Hey man {he introduced himself} I was just giving your girl a compliment.
{they both smiles and then started talking with each other}

I didn't see any reason to stay there and went back to my station. Actually, it was a positive vibes interaction, nothing ventured nothing gained. Good to recognize that she gave off positive vibes because I was providing them and there was nothing on the line for her since her bf was there....

3. Meredith
Walking on the street, opened with a singles opener. She had to think there for a bit, and then said she was single. I was in a real friendly mood and told her I thought she was cute. She thanked me but also started on her way and had a bit of a fearful expression on her face. May be my vibe, maybe because it was dark on campus and girls are wary of men, especially an older guy like me (?)

I missed a couple of sorority-type hotties as I kept walking and blamed myself for me. This brings me to the next point. I feel like I really want to get a girl of the hot bleach-blonde sorority-type variety. I actually think this desire has something to do with an inferiority complex - I've never been with a girl that hot (and to me those girls are pretty). The thing is, they are all over campus, but I'm having trouble finding the correct approach.

Social circle is very important for these girls. I am older and a grad student and not part of any campus orgs. This can also work in my favor, as our relationship can be discrete. It seems, though, that I'm missing something in the initial opener that will hook them. I thought about what these chicks are into, and I really don't know. Facebook? Cosmo? Celebrity gossip? If I had to guess, I'd my in would be offering something different. mystique, charm, dominance and leadership. The truth is, though, I'm still working on those and can be taking on something higher than my pay grade....

I'm only here on this campus for another year and really do want to give it a shout in figuring out out.

As for texting, I'm following Chase's process of texting with purpose: either to establish rapport or to set up a date. Throughout the past 2 months, the results have been almost nill. Don't know what's happening, but the girls give me the number, and keep interacting, but basically ignore my text when I push for the date (this has happened with about 5 girls). For example, the girl from Chile who I had met a couple of weeks back who was so enthusiastic......

I'm at an impasse regarding whether it's worthwhile trying to resurrect something with these ladies (I've basically been nexting them....)

 

[snipefield]

It's been a crazy week of final exams. This post is mainly about approach anxiety, a symptom of not approaching regularly.

I got in my head early in the day. Didn't do many approaches at all today.

1. Kelsey
She was sitting in the foyer in the library. I complimented her and she was lively. However, just as soon as I asked her "So, what are you up to today?" she said she was waiting for a friend who materialized as if on cue. Then she was off to the Starbucks.

2. Ashley
I was sitting at a row of computers in order to print something out and noticed her sit down a row ahead of me. I totally got into my head, especially since she got up a couple of times to get papers she had printed. Every time she'd get up, she would seem prettier and prettier and more unattainable. Finally, she was starting to pack her things and I could just feel like I couldn't let myself down and not talk to her. She was probably putting the last item into her backpack when I finally came up to her.

me: Hey. {She didn't hear me}. Excuse me. Whatsup.
Ashley: Hi
me: Hey, this is a little bit random, but I saw you and think you're very cute and felt like introducing myself to you.
Ashley: Oh, {smiles} that's fine.
me: I'm snipefield.
Ashley: I'm Ashley.
me: Nice to meet you Ashley.
...banter.....
me: So what do you have going on?
Ashley: Oh, I'm taking the LSATs tomorrow?
me: Oh, really, why would you want to be a lawyer, we have too many of them as it is?
Ashley: Not of female ones.
me: Hmm, yea, and probably not of good ones. {pause}
Ashley: Well, I gotta go study, nice to have met you.

I realized that I could have made this playful and more fun, instead of dissing her studies. She didn't seem offended, but it didn't endear me to her, either. She was smiling when she left, so I should have pushed myself a little bit more.

3. Mason
Doing schoolwork in the library can be very distracting because of the hot girls walking around. Of course, I can choose to sit in a small cube somewhere in the nether region of the building, but then what would be the point? I think some distractions in life are worth it.

I first noticed a blonde in tights and the ubiquitous grey sweater passing me. She sat somewhere behind. She was stunning, and I was very tempted to open her. I started working myself up, thinking of all the bullshit your mind comes up with when you have approach anxiety. Some time passed and then I see her walking out with another girl, a brunette. They are both tall, but the brunette is a bit meatier and also stunning. They came back a couple of minutes later and the brunette is also beautiful.

I actually pussied out mid-way - I came back from the bathroom but just as I was about to open I thought I saw a guy in their group and turned back. Pussy!

In addition to psyching myself out in a major way, I also actually had to for a moment which girl I was gonna go for. I was starting to get physically uncomfortable because I couldn't do my work and felt nervous about approaching.

I actually had to write down what I was gonna say to her, because I had psyched myself out that she was gonna be in a group. Finally, after about an hour and a half of this mild form of mental torture, I went it.

I went straight to her and she was actually sitting by herself, or so it seemed at first.

me: Hey, whatsup.
Mason: ?
me: Hey, this is really random, but I saw you passing and I think you're really cute. I know this is a bit forward and random coming up like this, but I figure life is short, and even though I'm older and there are many pretty people, I figure maybe you're interesting as well.
Mason: {smiles slightly} What's your name?
me: I'm snipefield.
Mason: snipefield?
me: Yes, snipefield. What's your name?
Mason: I'm Mason.
me: Very nice to meet you. {here I notice out of the corner of my eyes her study group, who are all siting in a booth-style table behind me. I kind of turned my body a little bit towards them and I could see the blonde girl who I saw first smiling} So are you guys all studying?
Mason: Yes, for a psych test.
me: Oh, that's what the girl who's sitting next to me is studying.
Mason: What do you study?
me: Some business stuff {I like to downplay it cuz I'm grad level, although using stuff sounds a bit lame}
Mason: You want a cookie or a pretzel? My mom gave em to me.
me: Uhh, sure I'll take a pretzel. So you mean your mom sent you these?
Mason: Yea.
me: Hmm, like a care package.
Mason: Yes.
me: {I didn't know what to say, I really didn't have a plan to keep the interaction going.} Well, I better get back, nice to meet you.
Mason: Very nice to meet you, snipefield

4. Berta
Brazilian exchange student who I stopped using the "Stop woman! I love you" opener. She did stop but then said she had to leave as her friends were waiting for her.

The interaction with Mason underlines the necessity of opening right then and there. It's a wonder that more than an hour passed between me seeing her and opening. The one idea I had was of making her stand up and hugging her, but that would have seemed a bit forced. Another idea was of borrowing her for a minute or two and taking her to another area on the floor that's near where I could do a super-mini date, just vibe a little bit and tease.

I had hoped that my opener would be a little bit of a longer rant that would require the girl to say something, get some investment early on. But then again, my expectations about the girl doing the work initially are probably not correct.

Teasing is another idea, I could have done that in order to not seem like I cared that much. I'm really glad I opened, but wished that I could inject some sexual tension in there. This girl is the kind that I'll remember for at least a week. The odds are high that I will see her on campus again sometime.

This was a good learning experience. Doing it in front of her friends also gave me quite a bit of confidence.

Don't overthink the approach guys, it's not worth it!

 

[snipefield]

1. Lea
Girl in front of me happened to be going to same coffee shop I was. I ordered my lunch first and then sat at a counter that was right next to the table where she put her belongings. Approached as soon as she returned from paying:

me: Hey, I saw you and thought you were cute, I'll chill here with you until my order comes
Lea: Ohh, thanks, I have a boyfriend actually.
me: {pause}... Oh, I'm not looking for a girlfriend actually. {smiled, but should have looked more intently at her eyes} What's your name?
Lea: Lea
me: I'm snipefield
Lea: I'm just studying for an exam {she didn't say in this in a mean way, but it have a hint of "go away, I'm busy", which I ignored}
me: Oh, really, what are you studying for?
Lea: Geology, italian and mathematics
me: Can't decide why you're here?
Lea: ?
me: Well, it seems like a hodgepodge of disciplines
Lea: Yea, I'm a journalism major, I'm just trying to get my gen-eds out of the way

I asked her about her studies and so forth and am pretty sure I missed an opportunity for some sexual frames. It had something to do with journalism being challenging and my brain was grasping for some sort of double entendre involving challenges. Anyways, I was talking to her mainly for entertainment. Got my to-go and left

2. Courtney

me: How does it feel?
Courtney: How does it feel what?
me: To be wearing a leather jacket.
Courtney: Feels cool
me: Yea, you look cool

We talked just for a bit, she was going to take a public speaking exam and I ventured into the library

3. Taylor
She was sitting waiting for s-thing/s-one. I almost passed her, but our eyes met.

me: Hey, whatsup!
Taylor: Hi {slight smile}
me: Just saw you, thin you're cute, wanna say hi
Taylor: {shy pause} I'm Taylor.
me: {I come around} I'm snipefield

I took the convo to the grave when I started to ask about the test she's prepping for. Good option would have been to do a cold-read. I ejected without taking convo further.

That's all the interactions for today, all of which occurred within a 10-minute timespan.

I've been feeling a bit down because I got stood up by a girl I made a date with on Sat.
Here's the text exchange:

(1:30 PM) me: Hey Lisa, I'm here
(2:00 PM) Lisa: Hey! I'm so sorrry I had an emergency with my sister and had to take her to the ER! Would you wanna meet here in a little bit? I'm sorry it's just a lot going on and I just now got to my phone.
me: Hey no worries. Hope your sisters OK. What part of town are you in?
Lisa: adjacent town 15miles away. I'm not positive how long I'll be in the hospial but hopefully not long
me: OK, let me know when you're done and we'll figure s-thing out
Lisa: Okay cool!

I took her word for it at first and so decided to play it chill. However, didn't hear from her anything rest of that day or the next, so decided to send a provocative text yesterday evening

(10:59 PM) me: your shit )
(11:55 PM) Lisa: What?
(9:47 AM) me: Checking what happened

Nothing.... I realize I could have gotten played by her. She got cold feet and instead of just ignoring me, she concocted that story. I'm perhaps overanalyzing.

Also, I got bored yesterday after studying and violated Chase's texting protocol (decided to experiment because the super-short format has not been helping me). I texted a little fun quip I found on YouTube to my stale numbers. Of the 6 or so girls I texted, one got back who I've been trying to get out. We met about 2 months ago, last contact was early November (something like "What's up", which she ignored)

me: Monique, you're my new text message gf for the next 5 min
monique: Lol ok why
me: Life's short
monique: ..haha alrighty
me: y not make an adventure of it
monique: how've you been babe
me: Busy, busy. You?
monique: Same! Just dumped my bf
me: You're just telling me that in hopes of extending our 5 min romance ). I'm onto you
monique: Daaaang! You caught me!
me: First we'll have to go on 10 dates, then take romantic walks, then maybe, maybe we can hold hands
monique: Makes sense. Take it slow!
me: Awww, now we're broken up... It's not you, it's me. Was fun though.
monique: It wasn't even facebook official.
me: Quit informing fb about my 5 min relationships
monique: You're a wild one
me: I have a hunch you are too
monique: What's it to ya ;P
me: Girls just wanna have fun
me: Aww, I kind of miss you... Silly me. Now I'll do whatever it takes to get you back
monique: I think I'm gonna need the Eiffel Tower ;
me: That actually made me laugh
monique:
......about an hour later
me: Gnight, wild and free

no response to that. I realize that this girl is gaming me in a way. As in she wants me to invest. I didn't actually have an idea to resurrect it with her, but now there's hope. Hope is not very good, as Chase wrote. I'm ears for ideas how to get this chick out. Timing's not good, as semester ends wed eve and I'm leaving town until after New Year's.

Also, the exchange was fun. Highlighted how much more practice I need being non-reactive and carefree. It was only because of the possible lag in response that I was able to come up with those responses.

 

[snipefield]

November 9

Allie
I was at a dive with a couple of cats from my grad program and went next door to the Chipotle to grab a bite. I immediately noticed the tall blonde in front of me and almost felt a receptive vibe from her even before opening and seeing her face.

I complimented her on her hair and struck up a convo. She was digging it and we had nice sexy eye contact. Unfortunately, I didn't capitalize on the extremely short window of opportunity. I didn't get the number before her turn to order - I figured that she would at least stay for a second after paying. Of course, she didn't.

I jumped out onto the sidewalk as soon as I paid in hopes of intercepting her. Pooof! Nowhere to be found.

She really was that pretty and we did make a connection in the brief 2 minutes that we chatted.
You could have waited for me just for half a minute, Allie I thought to myself.

My reasoning for not pushing myself for the number during the interaction was that it's the end of the semester and there's no point in a text exchange if she's not even willing to invest just a smidge by waiting. But, after reading Anatman's latest FR, I had a little bit of an epiphany regarding gaming college chicks. I don't know if it's the brevity of the attention span of a modern human or the fact that these girls naturally have abundance mentality (because there are so many options around them, perhaps more options than they will ever have in their life), but it's good to have a longer-term outlook on each girl I meet. The odds of meeting the girl again are quite high in a college setting and I think they are quite impressed if the guy stays calm, persistent and shows leadership (but doesn't chase). With this in mind, I wasn't surprised that a girl who I had met about a month ago (the Chilean girl) didn't respond to my whiny text, which went along the lines of

Erica, I'm not into chasing, but when we met I thought you were charming and interesting......but you've been evasive

The Rest of the Night
There was no gaming the rest of the night because I was partying with my classmates. I made one observation about myself. I tend to become a little bit too shy when I'm hanging out with a large group of acquaintances if there's a girl who I like in the group. Such was the case here. There was one girl who I thought was pretty, and we'd actually spoken briefly a couple of months ago about work-related matters. Somehow, I got nervous. I made things a tad awkward by asking her if I can get a ride from the house party to the bar with her without speaking to her, but then wound up going with a bunch of dudes. At the bar, I had ample opportunity to at least sit where she was in a booth and chat, but I pussied out.

November 10
I finally finished up my semester by submitting a hardcore programming/stats take-home final after working on it for the whole day. I wasn't really sure what was going on when I ventured out of the house and went to the main bar drag.

1
She was sitting all alone at the booth. Flowing blonde hair, nice bosom. I opened with a compliment, but then backtracked asking if she worked there (she had that black shirt, black pants uniform). Turns out she just got off work. We chatted and I got just a bit deeper than surface level. However, I wasn't sensing any genuine interest from her. I like to tell myself that I would have kept going, but a friendly dude showed up with the drinks and sat on her side. They definitely had that couple vibe about them. I found out they were a couple and excused myself.

What I found interesting is that she didn't shoo me away. Then again, what's so surprising, she probably wanted to chat.

2 & 3
These two girls were like the white version of the Ganguro overtanned japanese girl. Their bleach-blonde dyed hair stood in stark contrast to the their dark, unnatural skin tone. Despite that, I still thought they were cute and it was a convenient opener. The one I found cuter (#1) was giving me subtle IOIs (exposing neck, straightening hair), but I felt like I had to talk to both of them. The convo started out OK, but I shifted it to their studies for lack of anything else coming into my head.

me: So what do you want to be:
1: An actuary
me: Wow, that's a challenge. Are you good at stats?
1: Yes
me: Why do you wanna do that?
1: Make bank
me: Hmmm. What would you wanna do if actuaries didn't make bank?
1: Industrial engineering. What do you study?
me: ....my major......
1: What do you wanna do with that?
me: {pause because I was deciding whether to answer honestly. Took too long} Well, I am an enviromentalist, if I could use my skills to help the environment, I would be happy

My stalling here made me seem a little indecisive and weak. The convo went stale because #2 wasn't really interested and interrupted at a certain point.

#2: I'm really sorry, but I really wanted to discuss something private with #1 just as you were coming around.

me: Oh, you want me to leave.

#2: I'm really sorry.

me: No worries, have a good night.

Obviously I wasn't providing enough fun for them....

I then went to another bar after wandering aimlessly on the street (utter waste of time)

3
As I was waiting for the bouncer to check my ID, I see a pretty cute girl to my right dressed in a somewhat revealing manner, but not over the top. She opens me by complimenting my winter hat. It's on.

3: bla bla bla (s-thign about hat couldn't hear it well)

me: You like the hat?

3: Yes

me: {I come around to her side} What's your name?

3: 3

me: You're kinda cute. I'm snipefield

3: Hi snipefield

me: {I got my arm around her} Come inside for 3 minutes

3: Are you gonna buy me a drink?

me: Well, I don't even know you {not enough dominance in my tone}. Let's just go inside for 3 minutes.

3: I gotta drive my friend home, we're leaving soon.

me: That's OK, just 1 minute, come inside. {She acquiesces. I grab hand and lead}

3: Wow, you'r hands are cold {hers are so warm and soft}

I lead her in and I've got tunnel vision on her. It's awesome, there are a ton of people around but I do not see them. I lean to a wall, with my hands on her hips, saying some bullshit and start making out with her. She's into it. I tease a bit by taking a little pause and then resuming. I then lead us deeper into the bar. This time I pin her to a wall and resume the makeout. This girl is quite sober and knows what she's doing, so in about a minute she interrupts me.

3: I gotta get going. I gotta drop my friend off.
me: OK, come back.
3: No, I have work at 10 tomorrow
me: Well we'll hang out for just a little bit
3: No.
me: Where do you live?
3: .....next town over...
me: I'll go with you and your friend and we can hang out after you drop your friend off.
3: No
me: Okay......then give me your number

As she's punching in the digits, she gets on her tiptoes to get to my level to continue the make-out session. It felt pretty epic at the time. After we parted, I had noticed that she was still with her friend in the foyer, chatting with the bouncer, probably for another 5 minutes. Texted her, but of course didn't receive a response.

I opened a bunch more girls at the bar. Here are some of note:

4

me: How does it feel?
4: What?

me: To be wearing a leather jacket like me?

4: Feels pretty good actually

me: You're kind of cute.

4: Thanks {body positioned away from me, she was with a group, probably should have physically moved her, picked her up or something}

me: What's your name?

4: 4

I ejected after introducing myself. She didn't seem interested. Meh!

5
Tall girl I had noticed before. I think she noticed me too. But I messed it up by not opening immediately, so it was too late by the time I did open. She was with a short friend.

me: Hey what's up?

5: ...........

me: {they kind of pass me by so I touch her sholder} You, stop!

5: ........ ?
me: You're cute, stop

She walks away. What an exciting convo!?

6
Grace was sitting alone at a booth. S-thing's always up when a semi-decent girl is sitting alone in a booth in a crowded bar. I opened and she was very tepid, almost indifferent to whether I was there or not. I found out a little bit about her (studying taxation, knack for puzzles, bla bla) and then started to go down the deep-diving questions list. Again, she wasn't too enthusiastic about telling me where she wants to travel. This threw me off and I bowed out because I was getting bored and because SHE was giving me the bored look. I think in retrospect that I should have kept going, perhaps gone on her side of the booth and done something physical and lighthearted. ex.
I'm collecting a photoalbum for my great-great-great grandfather about my life. He lives in Nepal. Let's take a picture together

7
After much aimless wandering during which I was pretty sure that people saw that I was just there to hit on chicks, I finally opened another 2-set. #7 was hot, turned out to be another Grace. Her friend was chatting me up more and they were both very friendly. However, we just stood there in the area near the entrance to the club and they eventually excused themselves to get a drink. I felt like I missed a little bit of an opportunity to steal #7 from her friend and chat with her, even if for a minute.

8
This girl actually showed up with another chick who knew girl #6 (first Grace) who was sitting in the booth. #8 didn't know #6 and assumed that I and #6 were close friends. She introduced herself to me. Very tan, but in a more elegant way than the white Ganguro girls, probably because of the stylish beige knit sweater. Her red lipstick upped her sexiness. Anyways, this wasn't an approach, because all I did was awkwardly touch her sweater while complimenting it as she was walking away (she reciprocated the compliment).

HOWEVER, I noticed her later in a group of dudes, but she looked just a little bit bored. No, she wasn't sitting there pouting her lips, but if I challenged myself, I would have gone in there and stolen her for 3 minutes.

me: Hey. I need to tell you something {take her hand and lead. If the guys object, whisper "tell em I'm your gay friend" in her ear}
......
me: I love you, you will be my new 3-minute girlfriend. Let's slow-dance

Or some other rendition of randomness. It was about 1:50 AM, and I was disappointed that I couldn't keep the momentum from the makeout. Spontaneous make-up hasn't happened in a while and it really amped my energy. Frankly, my knees were almost shaking when the chick left because I felt that I was really close to closing her (of course, girlschase readers realize that a makeout does not a successful seduction make). I felt like I had wandered around this bar enough. I was making excuses in my head that it would be good to have had a seat in the bar, a place to come back to. Otherwise, my game was out in plain view.

I even tried talking to a couple of dudes in hopes of hitting some good bro vibes, but to no avail.

 

[ray_zorse]

Solid approaches Snipe, I enjoyed the read. Oh those fuckin makeouts
cheers, Ray

 

[snipefield]

Thanks Ray, I'm reading your posts, too. Keep em coming, playa!

Cheers

 

[snipefield]

December 12

I came back the big city where I grew up from grad school for the winter break. Showed up to a bar/club with a dj at around 11:30. The music was good, but there weren't that many women. I failed to get initial social momentum going by opening up the first girl I saw and got in my head as a result. The place was relatively small and it wasn't dark, so I was wary of being a court jester and trying too hard with opening girls. I just stepped back leaning on a wall and bumped to the music. Eventually I struck up a convo spontaneously with a fat black girl. Figured it couldn't hurt. She was def. into me and we danced on and off for quite some time, but I just wasn't attracted enough to keep going forward, even if only to practice.

Tan Fat-Ass Brazilian
She was rocking back and forth around the same area I stood in before. She wasn't even that pretty, but looked lonely and had a nice ass, so eventually I went in

me: Hey, you look kinda bored {definitely a worse opener than "Why are you dancing alone at a dance party?"}
her: ...........
me: I thought you were cute and felt like coming over to say hi {neediness in my tone, leaning in}
her: ..... skeptical look.......body positioned away from me........
me: ..........
her: You're not my type
me: Hmmm, what is your type?
her: Black guys {mind you, there were plenty of black guys around us}
me: Well they're all around. Where are you from?
her: Brazil {continues with skeptical look}
me: Don't worry, lady, I don't wanna get in your pants. Have a good night

It's good she rejected me and saved me some time. The only other interaction of note at this place was as follows. I opened a pretty black girl as she was passing by with her friends. She was walking out but somehow her friend started spontaneously twerking me. It felt pretty good, but then another friend of hers pulled her away, so it seemed like a joke or just pure fun.

I decided to leave this place and go to a bar in another part of town that's become trendy in the past couple of years. It's already 3 AM and the music's going strong and there is a decent number of people on the dance floor getting down. I opened a girl exiting the bathroom, after pausing just a tad. She wasn't having it. Opened another girl sitting by herself, wasn't dominant enough.

On the dance floor, opened a girl who was dancing with her friend direct and she said she had a boyfriend (my respones: I'm not looking for a gf).....
I then just decided to enjoy the music for a bit and make a little fool of myself dancing alone... At a certain point I opened a short West Indian-looking girl with beautiful black hair. I asked for compliance initially by telling her that we would dance for 2 minutes. As soon as we started I picked her up completely and she wrapped her legs around me. We then danced for just a tad and she escaped to see her friends.

There weren't that many girls left towards the end. I decided to stick around until 4 just to see the dynamics of what happens when the bar closes down.
I later noticed the West Indian girl dancing with another dude. I probably should have come back to her or maybe pulled her off the dance floor..... though it's hard to get girls to get off the dance floor when they're into it..

 

[snipefield]

December 13

Went to a house party with some high-school era friends. It was a pretty small apartment and was pretty tame. There were plenty of ladies, but I felt a bit uncomfortable because I didn't know the host and it was too intimate of a setting to try outlandish stuff. There was a cute party-type Indian girl but I played suave and never actually talked to her directly (she was hanging out with another girl for most of the time I was there and I only talked briefly with them both). I felt stifled being there (although also felt like I was missing some sort of opportunity) and left at around 11 PM (later than I had planned) to go hit up the bars solo and challenge myself.

1
Rocker-type chick with tank top. Opened with compliment, she was "looking for her friends". We were standing away from the bar, and I capitalized on opportunity to practice moving her.

me: Hey, let's move over to the bar {should have said it's more laid-back there}
1: OK

I leaned with my back on the bar and had her stand in front of me. Unfortunately, I stalled with the convo (brief pause) and she bowed out, saying she was going to find her friends.

2
Went to a different bar that turned out to have an atrocious male/female ratio. Danced around quite a bit by myself. Noticed two girls, but didn't open them immediately. One of them caught my fancy. Unfortunately, by this point, there was one guy talking to the friend. All his buddies were congregating around him. I noticed this group, they were the types of guys that run in packs (aka Bridge & Tunnel crowd). As in one guy is gaming the girl and all the other ones stand behind him (emotional support, I guess..) The guy was talking to the friend and the girl who caught my eye was standing next to them. I went in. I complimented her and she wasn't having it (closed off body language). I ignored the dude, of course.

dude: Hey, just go away.
me: {pause. Look into his eyes} I'm sorry, do we know each other?

dude: There are lots of girls in this club, go talk to them.

2: {almost whispers} I'm not interested.

me: {this I took as a sign to back out} Have a good evening

3
At the next club, I noticed a group of girls that had just come in. I made the mistake of not opening them immediately, as they stood next to me. They then sat down on some sofas across the dance floor. I concocted a little maneuver to practice moving. My target girl was sitting on the sofa between two friends and there was also a girl sitting opposite them with her back towards me. Perfect challenging logistics to practice.

me: {I went in, extended my hand open palm up and held eye contact with her. Spoke in a loud voice} You! Hi! 1 minute {holding eye contact}

3: {smiles, doesn't say anything, I maintain eye contact}

me: Just 30 seconds, stand up {keep my hand extended out}

friend: She's married!

me: That's very good, I'm not going to marry her. 10 seconds, stand up

They weren't having it, so I bowed out, but it was a good experiment. This move doesn't take much mental fortitude and likely works best done as soon as you see the girl in a group.

4
Went upstairs and noticed an Asian girl sitting while her friend was dancing with a guy.

me: {same maneuver, extend hand, lock eyes, smile} 30 seconds!
4: {chuckles} You want me to dance? I don't dance..

me: Neither do I! Look at me. 30 seconds {keep my hand extended, maintain eye contact}
{she gets up reluctantly, but then starts grinding almost immediately}

.... after a minute or so.....

4: I don't think my man would approve. {she stops dancing}

me: No worries. See you later.

That was fun!

5
The atmosphere in the club was odd. There were mixed groups, but also a lot of guys running in packs like I described above. They were gaming these chicks and I decided to observe from the sidelines and see the girls' reactions. It was somewhat educational actually. This one one guy made this outline-the-perimeter-of-a-rectangle motion with his head as he was passing a girl that was dancing. I gather it was an expression of his interest in her, but I wondered how it made the girl feel...

I was standing yet again on the sidelines just dancing a bit, seeing what I'd do next, when I saw a mixed group come in and plant themselves at the bar. An Asian chick was getting into the music, so I went in

me: {extend hand, eye contact} 1 minute!
5: ......

I take her hand and we start dancing, I lead her away from the bar and then eventually to the wall where I was standing. She starts grinding me hard with her ass. Even though she was decent initially (not dream girl quality), this move of hers really turned me on. I turn her around to ease the pressure on my member and prop her up against the wall. She's definitely been drinking, but is coherent. She asks me, to my surprise if I'm still in college.. At this point, some chubby Indian dude materializes next to her while we're talking and dancing. He's hovering there. Eventually, he goes in to say something to her and starts repositioning her. I don't mind intervene: a woman can take care of herself. She doesn't have a look of joy speaking to him and still stays where I'm at. We dance for a little bit longer and then she winds up going back to the bar with the Indian dude (and their friends). No harm done.

6
By this point, the absurdity of this circus (girls dancing and packs of guys "gaming") is getting to me. I'm heavily influenced by the type of music that's playing - top 40 just exacerbates the feeling of pointlessness. I even start to think to myself, "What the hell am I doing here? What are the odds of actually meeting a girl who is cool in a place like this?" I eventually notice a girl in a red dress navigate to the bar alone.

me: Hey, whatsup

6: Hi

me: I thought you would need some company besides your phone and decided to talk to you.

6: {smiles} What's your name?

me: {I hug her} snipefield

6: 6

Unfortunately, I can't recall exactly how the conversation went. But I had successfully steered it into a man/woman frame. Enough so that at a certain point she told me that she was feeling uncomfortable. To this I replied that she was free to leave, I wasn't holding her back. It was a situation where I couldn't tell where sexual tension ended and where discomfort began. Our faces were close to each other, so now I realize that I should have just kissed her. Instead, I was thinking that she may be drunk (so?) and that kissing her would kill chances of advancing things further on (advancing what, I ask myself now). So I left..

It was around 2:30 AM and I decided to see if other places were happening. Unfortunately, the male/female ratio in every place I went in was unfavorable. I went into one bar and had a shameful moment by not opening anyone(!). I just ordered my tonic water and sat there sipping it like a loser. There was a group of girls sitting at a table, but I had already passed them on my way to the bathroom and didn't see how I can strike up a conversation with the girl from the group who was pretty.

7
Two Indian girls smoking on a corner. I locked eyes briefly with one of them

me: Hey, you're cute.

7: Thanks

me: {to friend} You're pretty, too, but I like your friend.

friend: That's OK.

me; Have a good night

I don't know why I didn't advance the interaction.

8
Girl was sitting on a chair in front of a diner smoking. We locked eyes

me: {extend hand} Hi!

8: Hi.

me: Stand up for 30 seconds

8: I don't want to {she's sitting and smoking]

me: Just 15 seconds

8: Na.

me: OK, I'll join you then, thanks for saving me a seat {her frame wins, but it's no big deal. there was an empty chair next to her}

We introduced ourselves and bantered. She and her friend were hanging out at the diner doing nothing, just chatting. I tried to infuse sexuality into the convo by cold-reading her that she was looking for trouble. She complied, but I was too vague. I didn't really know how to advance this further, so she bounced after finishing her cigarette. I realize now that if I had my car, I could have persevered and gone back with her to the diner and then asked them if they wanted to ride around. Of course then I would have had to figure out what to do with the friend, but it would have been a worthwhile experiment, nevertheless. This event just goes to show how it's good to stay open-minded and keep options open until the very end.

December 14
Mimi
I was at a bar that also has ping pong, pool, bocce (?) and killer authentic jazz. There was a huge group of Latino/as. I couldn't get my eyes off of some, but there were so many guys around and I couldn't tell who was friendly, who was dating. Finally, this girl in a red tank top that accentuated her beautiful bosom walked past me. I caught up to her.

me: Hey, what'sup.

mimi: .....

me: I saw you and think you look absolutely gorgeous.

mimi: Oh, thanks

me: I'm snipefield

mimi: I'm Mimi. We are having a company Christmas party here. We all work at Los Locos.
me: ?

mimi: It's a chain of Mexican restaurants, kind of like Chipotle. There are 5 locations.

me: Oh, I see. You're playing ping pong, huh?

mimi: Yes, trying to.

me: Yes, I'm trying to enjoy this band {I have no idea why I said "trying to enjoy". very beta phrase, as the band and their energy was awesome} {I looked into her eyes and grappled for words}.

mimi: Well, I'll see you around

me: Yes, nice to meet you

Analyzing these last two interactions (with Mimi and #8), I realize that I'm playing hide the banana after my initial direct opener. For some reason, I expect that girls will make the interaction sexual themselves just because I opened direct. It doesn't work that way. If I don't incorporate a sexual vibe, my direct opener doesn't amount to much and is forgotten. With number 8, I could have at least tried something along these lines as she was leaving. I could have gotten up, opened up my arms for a hug, and then whispered in her ear:

You can't imagine the things I would do to you if we hung out for a couple of hours

With Mimi, I could have at least said, "Hmmm, parental advisory, explicit (necklace she was wearing). You're a naughty one"

I've thought about why I don't do this, and it's because I still care. I'm not completely shedding my nice guy image. I'm still attached to the narrative that I have of my life, which has been working in some areas, but not in the domain of success with women. I care what these girls think of me and that stifles me and prevents me from just going all out and having fun just conversing..

On a sidenote, anybody have advice for initiating a conversation with a girl who is dressed very sexy but is enjoying dancing with her girlfriend? It would just be fun to strike up a convo with chicks like that, since they typically don't get hit on a lot, and when they do, I bet it's frequently awkward (a guy doing the ogling dance like I described above).

Also, next week, the friend who brought the two girls invited me to his house party. I'm pretty sure the Indian chick will be there (and likely some other eligible candidates). I need some sort of strategy for getting results from this. I'm thinking it would be worthwhile to isolate and try to escalate there. I'm comfortable with escalating towards a make-out but feel anything beyond is out of my comfort zone. Perhaps an indicator that I should go for it...

 

[snipefield]

December 15

I had some time to kill in the Financial District and it was the evening rush hour. I was actually a little astounded at how many pretty young prof. ladies were out and about. Come to think of it, makes total sense.

My approaches by-and-large went as if I was approaching for the first time.

1
Model-type tall girl, walking quickly.

me: Hey, this is a bit forward, but you have striking hair and I wanted to introduce myself

She chuckles mockingly, not taking me seriously. Completely threw me off and I proceeded to walk ahead of her like a chode, as if to save face. I'm analyzing what would have been a better way to proceed now that a couple of days have passed. Somehow I stumbled upon a cool Matsuo Basho quote.

Take her hand, stop walking, look into her eyes

日々旅にして、旅を住処とす

translated as, every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home

2
I got a similar reaction from a short blonde girl, also walking quickly. I caught up to her and complimented her hair. She too gave me that skeptical, "Are you serious?" look.

3 & friend
I spotted two blonde girls who were stopping to check their phone for directions. I passed ahead of them and then turned around at the last minute

me: Hey, this is a bit forward but I think you're cute and wanna introduce myself.
3: {pleasant smile}

me: I'm snipefield.

3: I'm 3.

me: Very nice to meet you. {to friend} And you are?

friend: I'm friend. {gets back to looking at the phone} We're in a very big rush now, excuse us.

me: Oh, really, where are you headed?

friend: {not looking up, a bit of a pause} We're going to meet up with a friend

It struck me that it would have been better for me not to introduce myself to the friend at all. I would have gotten more face-time with the target girl. This was of course such a brief interaction, but still an interesting lesson.

4
Opened sassy lady who was walking towards me and listening to music.

me: Stop. Woman!

4: {proceeds to remove headphones}

me: I love you!

4: {look of indifference, picks pace up, keeps moving}

 

[snipefield]

December 18

1
Went to check out a band at a neighborhood bar (not actually my neighborhood, but closer than the city proper). It was fairly dead, and I was feeling rusty. Missed first chance to get out of comfort zone by playing suave and not starting a conversation with a group of 3 girls who were chatting across from the bar. Sat at the end of the bar and checked out the band. A girl ordered wine and proceeded to hand around next to me. I initiated the convo at the most awkward moment: a couple of minutes after she had already been there and when her body was turned away from mine. My compliment about her hair actually started her! What a player.

2 & friend
Went to a bar in the city. Noticed two girls in front of me on the bathroom line

me: {hug them both as there is a perfect amount of space for me to squeeze in between them} Hey, whatsup!
2: Oh, hi. {warm}
me: How are you?
2: Pretty good!
me: What's your name?
2: I'm 2.

We proceed to banter about where they're from. She starts to ask me what I want to do in life and tells me about her goal of becoming the editor of Vogue. I teased her that she wasn't bitchy enough. Of course, our convo was brief, as it was their turn to go into the bathroom. I later saw them heading towards the door, and didn't say anything. I was at a loss how to proceed given that the friend was there and it was still relatively early in the night. Any advice gents?

3

me: {Extend hand, strong eye contact} 30 seconds
3: {girl stops, but as soon as I start to lead her, she resists, shrugs me off and keeps walking}

4
At another bar, noticed a girl sitting alone on a stool close to the stage while a band was playing. Finally came up to her:

me: {same techniques as in 4. I extend hand and maintain eye contact, she goes for it} Stand up for 30 seconds
4: Why? I don't want to.
me: OK {I sit next to her and it is awkward, she's avoiding my eyes. Finally, a dude shows up and they hug, I eject, giving him my seat}

Should have called my feelings out on her. Darn it, why do I forget to be real with the girls I'm interacting when I'm like this!

I felt quite drained from these interactions, which actually took place over the course of a couple of hours (not very efficient, is it..). It seems like I've got a plethora of sticking points now starting from opening mixed sets (not a big deal, but it does expand options at night to get into the party mood), to being real with my feelings, to not caring about the outcome, to moving the girl, to injecting sexuality.

In a lot of these venues, it seems that the dance floor is a good place to initiate touch, etc, but I really would prefer to move the girl to advance the interaction.

 

[snipefield]

Went out around town in the evening-time yesterday.

1
I was standing in a square when I noticed this girl walking elegantly. Had to walk quickly to catch up to her.

me: Hey, whatsup.....

1: .....

me: Hey, this is a bit forward, but I think you have a very elegant and ...... relaxed walk. I wanted to meet you.

1: Thank you. I'm just going home now..

me: {I almost gave up with that, but her body language was still positive} What's your name?

1: 1

me: I'm snipefield

1: Where are you from?

me: I grew up here actually. But now I live in the south.

1: ..... Where?

me: ..my state..

1: Strange, you don't have a southern accent.

me: Well I haven't been there long enough for that. Where are you from? {missed opp for cold read}

1: Dominican Republic

..... there was some other banter in between.......

me: So what are you up to tonight?

1: Oh, not much, my plans got cancelled so I'm about to head home. {alerts going off in my head}

me: Oh, let's go for a coffee for 10 minutes. {I extend hand with palm facing up}

1: {ponders for a bit}..... No

me: ...... {acting now} Oh 1, but all I wanted to do was to be your white knight in shining armor. How will I live without you now?

1: {smiles} Nice to have met you. {ejects}

I wandered around approaching random girls on the street, but it was dark and COLD! The approaches were half-assed. Generally, I gave a compliment, they thanked me but also expressed a disinterest in continuing to talk. A couple of times I tried the

Woman! Stop! You're pretty, let's get married!

routine. This one particular girl was so unreactive, all I could do was smile in response. Big city women have heard it all, I guess! It dawned on me that this may be their way of giving me feedback to keep persisting and moving things forward.

Later on, I was standing in line to get into a game center/bar/club. A mixed group came up behind me with 3 cute Latina chicks and 2 white dudes. I was so in my head that I acted suave and didn't say anything to them. Felt like a total chode, especially since one of the girls was standing right next to me and kept eyeing me. I only managed a "Hi".

On the way back home, I still had 1 more girl to talk to (I promised myself at a certain point that I would open up 5 more girls). I noticed this chick on the subway platform in a red winter coat. I opened her and she responded that she doesn't know English. I asked her what language she speaks and it turned out she speaks my native tongue.

This interaction was interesting. Not because it was actually engaging, but because she was boring and unexciting. I actually boarded an adjacent car when the train came to avoid being around her. It's good to encounter women who you realize you don't want (interesting thought experiment is how I would have reacted if she was boring and beautiful. This girl was just average).

I re-read Chase's article on frames to obtain some perspective about my interaction with girl 1. There are many possible explanations for why this girl rejected my invitation. One of them could simply be that she didn't know what the point of going for a 10-minute coffee is. I didn't explicitly say, "Hey, instead of standing around here in the cold, let's get to know each other a little bit better. Tell you what, join me for coffee at the Whole Foods for 10 minutes."

rude chick
Today, I noticed a girl with a big butt while I was biking in my neighborhood. I wavered in approaching her and finally did. She was sitting at the bus stop by this point.

me: Hey, what's up! Hey, this is a little bit forward

rc: I don't speak English

me: {unreactive}...... Hmm, what language do you speak?

rc: ...names language.....

me: Oh, I speak that language.

rc: Oh, cool {feigned satisfaction}

me: I was saying.... this is a bit forward, but I noticed you and thought you were cute and wanted to meet you.

rc: ...... No {looks down at her phone}

me: No?

rc: ....... {ignores me}......

me: Hmm, what's your name?

rc: Why do you want to know?

me: I told you, I'd like to meet you.

rc: No.

me: {give up} OK, have a good day. {she ignores me, continues to look at phone. In retrospect, she may have been scared?}

She may have actually been underage, it was hard to tell, I probably should have started with that so as not to waste time and get her to qualify herself. A couple of thoughts: the likelihood that she actually didn't know English is veeery low, she didn't have a fresh-off-the-boat vibe about her. "I don't know English" is probably a go-to response to guys approaches. Also, their rude responses seem to call for an aggressive/sexual game right from the get-go.

 

[Troy]

Snipefield,

Hey bro! I hope you are good? Reading that report awhile ago made me think. You seem to be coming off too mechanically. What I mean by that is the conversation isn't flowing. I have the same thing happen to me but since I begun adding more playfulness into the beginning of interactions things went smoother. Focus on flirting and making a few jokes and that will get women opening up a lot faster.

Troy

 

[snipefield]

Thanks for the advice Troy, I'll give it a shot!

 

[snipefield]

December 27

Melanie
Went to a performance of Brazilian music (choro) at a bar with an intimate living-room style performance space in the back. It was fairly packed by the time I came so that I stopped right under the doorframe. The musicians were just setting up. A girl is standing to my right in a little alcove. She's got pretty eyes, nice hair.

I stike up a conversation with her easily. We've got appreciation for the music in common, she tells me about a Brazilian music camp that takes place in Cali that I've wanted to go to. She gives me seductive eyes from time to time, but there's an open space for people to pass through between us, so I can't incorporate as much touch as I'd like to. I flirt a bit, teasing her about her seductive Portuegese. It's only 8:30 PM and she's there alone, so I approach figuring out logistics. She says she has to leave relatively soon, wouldn't say where (I tease her later about a drug run). She says she lives around the area.

After I return to the bathroom, I see that two girls have taken my spot. This is actually good, because now I have to go onto Melanie's side in the little alcove, which gives me an opportunity to touch her a little bit more. We were of course still enjoying the performance, so there was no way I could have moved her.

Realizing that she could leave at any time and that it wouldn't be good to ask for contact details at that point, I just blurt out:

me: Melanie, let's exchange numbers

Melanie: Uhhh, maybe.

I let it go and play it cool. About 5 minutes after, she invites me to go to another performance in a neighborhood with a Brazilian population the following day and takes down my number to text me the address, etc. She leaves while the band is still playing, giving me a hug.

Fiesty Music Afficionado
With Melanie gone, I'm scoping out new targets. Noticed a lady from the side who looked Brazilian who seemed to be alone. As the concert finished, I made my way up to shake the musicians' hands, and opened:

me: Hey, this is a bit forward, but I think you're cute and want to introduce myself

FMA: Thanks {completely unemotional state}

me: What did you think of the music?

FMA: {pauses} Where you the guy who was speaking to the girl the whole show, picking her up?

me: {pause, look into her eyes} Yes, I was

FMA: And now you're asking me about the music?

me: Yes

FMA: You don't care about the music. You were speaking to the girl for the entirety of the show, I could hear you. And now you come here asking me about the music. You didn't come here for the music!

me: {pause, smile a bit} I came here for a lot of things.

FMA: This is not a place to pick up girls, if you wanna pick up girls, do it elsewhere, and don't come up to me telling me I look good.

me: {surprised a bit because I realize she's trying to shame me} Yes, it is called a compliment. {smile} Listen, if I disturbed you by speaking, I apologize for that, that was not my intent.

We banter for a little bit more and i must have maintained an OK frame, because she eventually said:

FMA: Well, at least you have a good sense of humor about it.

me: Of course, life's short. I really hope you have a good evening!

Looking back now, I can't help but wonder if she was jealous and horny!!

Two Girls in Hipster Bar
Two friends filled the seats next to me at a hipster bar. I opened my neighbor:

me: Are you part of the new Bushwick elite?

clever comeback girl (CCG): Actually, we've been always elite. {cheeky smile}

me: Hmm, how far back does that stretch?

CCG: To the beginning of time..

me: As in 4.6 billion years ago?

CCG: Yep.

me: Hmm. And do all members of your elite group sip beer with a straw?

CCG: No, some don't {motions to her friend}

I got a bit flustered because I didn't know how to continue. Should have just introduced myself to her and the friend at this point. It got a bit awkward, because my neighbor went to the bathroom and I should have talked to the friend, but I just stared forward. Where are my balls??

Text exchange with Melanie
I gave it a couple of hours and decided to see if I could get Melanie out again. Here's the text convo:

me: You missed an excellent version of tica tica in the encore.

M: Very cool...

me: Melanie, I'm still in the neighborhood. What say you we go on a little adventure, if you're free

M: Aw, thats a nice thought but I'm already home its not exactly in the neighborhood... Would take me 30+ mins to get there again. Have fun though - enjoy!

me: Ahh, but it's Saturday eve. and my adventures involves an automobile, awesome views and showing you that tune {a song we talked about earlier}. I come get you and bring you back in 45 min )

M: Awesome views? Lol wonder what you're referring to... But... Probably going to bed soon... Thanks though Have an epic Saturday night!

me: Hmm, dunno what you had on your mind ..... awesome views of the city

Polish girl at dance club
I went to a bar with a decent-sized dance floor and got in my head because the music just wasn't doing it for me. So repetitive and lacking development! There were tons of girls who nobody was hitting on but they were dancing, so I convinced myself that I didn't even have a shot (lackluster dance floor game). Finally approached a tall girl in leather pants who was texting.

me: Hey, I saw you and thought you'd need some more company that your phone.

Polish girl: Oh, hi

me: I think you're adorable. What's your name?

Polish girl: Victoria.

me: I'm snipefield. {extend my hand} 1 minute

Polish girl: ?

me: 1 minute. Give me 1 minute.

Polish: {smiles} No, I'm OK

I think my movements were abrupt and she really wasn't in the mood to dance. Better to have chatted with her and then moved her somewhere more quiet..

Nadia
Next went to a small dance club that was packed to the nines to the point that there was no room to move AT ALL. I figured it may have been a mistake to pay the $10 cover right after I got in, because the m/f ratio was 70-30. It was uncomfortable because you would inadvertently brush peoples' butts, chests, etc. I went straight toward the back to a place where I could have just a tad of personal space and observe what was going on in this jungle.

I chilled out probably for 30 minutes - I was standing right next to the bathroom line, and did miss a couple of opportunities to open.

Finally, I noticed a black girl sitting on a sofa by herself about 5 feet away from me.

me: Hey, I think you're cute, feel compelled to speak with you.

Nadia: Oh thank you.

me: I'm snipefield

Nadia: I'm Nadia.

me: Nice name

We chat and I give her my hand and motion for her to stand up which she does with enthusiasm. We dance close and talk. I flirt a litte bit, asking her what she does when she's not attracting white guys with her looks. She has a cute baby face, nice bosom, seems intelligent (grad school student). I attempt to figure out the logistics, but don't go all the way. I know she's with a friend, but didn't find out how she's planning to get home and what she's got planned tomorrow.

I think she got bored of dancing, because at a certain point, she just lets go and walks off about 5 feet to text without saying anything. I play cool and continue to dance for a bit. Then I realize that I may be about to lose her. I walk to her:

me: Nadia, it's starting to get a little bit late, what are you up to after this?

Nadia: Just getting a ride.

me: To the afterparty?

Nadia: There's an afterparty? Where is it?

me: Yes, let's go on a little adventure.

Nadia: Adventure? Where to?

me: Well, it's a surprise, but it'll be fun.

Nadia: No, I'm waiting for my ride.

me: But my adventure involves a car, too. I can give you a ride after.

Nadia: No, I don't think so, maybe another time.

me: Nadia, there will not be another time. I believe in seizing moments when they come. {look in her eyes}

Nadia: No thank you {she walks off to speak with her friend}

Two Girls at Busy end-of-night spot

Opened these two girls dressed in latest peculiar hipster fashion (one was in a fur coat that conjured an image of a hooker from a 80's movie, the other one had bleach blonde hair in a short boyish hairstyle, etc}

me: Hey, what's up. You guys are cute! {too broad of a compliment I suppose}

1: We don't speak English. {in a disingenous way}

me: Oh, really? {eject}

Should have said following with a smile and non-aggressive tone to play around with them and gauge their reaction:
Bullshit, you're nothing but a filthy slut from some bumfuck state pretending to be part of the ...name of hipster neighborhood... gliterratti.

Take-aways: with Nadia, I could have taken a bit more initiative and enquired about Nadia's friend. It's likely she was the main reason Nadia didn't meet me halfway. I could have then engaged the friend and attempted to convince them both to hang out a little bit. My plan was to take my car to an amazing view of the city and go from there. I could have still done that with them both there, although it of course would have been a little bit more difficult.

 

[snipefield]

December 29

Liz
I went shopping for groceries, etc in my neighborhood in the morning. I spot this girl standing at the bus stop.

me: Hey, I gotta quick question for you?

Liz: .....{looks dumbfounded}.....Can you say it in x language {our common language}?

me: Sure, how do I know that you speak it?

Liz: Well you can see can't you?

me: No, we are in America. Anyways, I wanted to ask you. Are you married?

Liz: No. But I have a guy I'm spending time with.

me: Oh. {pause a bit} That's OK. {I smile} What's your name?

It's on. We banter about her impression of life here, when she'll go back, her studies she just finished.

me: Let's hang out sometime

Liz: {pause} Hmm. Uhh, ok, to chat.

I take out my phone and her friend comes up as she's putting her digits in. They greet each other and at a certain point the friend asks about me. I introduce myself and then say

me: Yes, I'm her future husband. We're actually gonna get married tomorrow. I've got documents, so now she doesn't have to go back to {native country}

They eat that one up. Liz and the friend start chatting, which I take as a good opportunity to leave.

Kristen
I had to go out for an errand later on in the afternoon. I open a tall girl who's waiting to cross the street.

me: Hey, I gotta quick question for you

Kristen: Let's see if I could answer it.

me: {I smile} Are you single?

Kristen: Yes

me: Oh, I'm snipefield.

Kristen: I'm Kristen

me: Nice to meet you Kristen. So what are you up to on this day?

Kristen: Nothing, just being a tourist.

me: Where are you touristing from?

We chat and she has a carefree vibe about her. She says she's just walking around, looking for places to check out. I tell her there's not much here in terms of actual tourist spots and that this neighborhood doesn't have much to offer in the winter (better in the summer because there's a beach). She asks me "So what's your story?" at a certain point, and I tell her I'm up here for holidays visiting family. She also asks me where I'm going, and I say home.

I realize that it'll be cool to show her an ethnic bookstore. We venture in. Then we stroll on a little boulevard. The sun's shining, it's pretty warm. There were benches there, and now that I think about it, we could have chilled there, but I think it didn't cross my mind because it was a little bit dirty.

me: Hey, let's go on a little adventure. I know this place that's off the beaten path that has nice views of the harbor.

Kristen: Where is it?

me: Well, it's near here.

Kristen: How far away?

me: About 4 miles, but I have a car we'll drive there.

Kristen: {Doesn't say anything} You know, I was actually planning to go to {names a park}

me: Hmm {keep walking, meanwhile I'm looking at my phone and seeing how I can take her on the ride to the view of the harbor and then drop her off at the train so she can go to the park}

A couple of minutes later I stop and tell her my plan. She says:

Kristen: That's nice, but I really should get to the park. It's just going to be a Kristen-alone day.

me: OK, well it's been a pleasure chatting and meeting with you. Enjoy the city!

Text exchange with Liz
I actually called Liz up about 10 minutes after I spoke with her because I had a hunch I could just get her out immediately (if it wasn't for the friend, I would have done it there). She was pleasantly surprised. I asked her what she was goind in an hour, but said she was in a rush to get to work. I persisted, asking what time she'd be finishing and she said late, and asked if we could talk later.

Texted her in the evening at around 6 PM:

me: Hey Liz. So many errands before New Years! ) How's the work day going?

Liz: (10:51 PM) Hi! Heading home now, it's so cold.

Liz: How are you?

me: {at this point I thought of going for broke and just inviting her to my house to watch a movie, but didn't do it} I'm good. Cold.... but no certainly no colder than where you're from. Are you trying to get someone to warm you up

Liz: Haha. No, no hints. I just endure the cold worse here.

me: You have work tomorrow, too?

No response to this. I realize I should have prob. just called her when she asked me how I was and gauged what's going on. In the worst, I could have nexted her then and there..

 

[snipefield]

Last night, I texted Melanie, the girl I met at the bar 2 days ago. She responded this morning in Portuguese:

Melanie: Obrigada - e Feliz Ano Novo!

me: To you as well! So many errands? How are you spending the last 2 days of the outgoing year?

Melanie: Going to the seaside today w/ my dad & family who are in town. Not sure which day I'm back. Which day are you leaving?

me: Next Tuesday. Do you want to meet up to chat and listen to music after you get back?

Melanie: Okay quite possibly. I know a cool spot we can meet at in .....names neighborhood..... Will let you know when it looks like Im coming back!

Interesting exchange. She's clearly open to meeting, but remember that I invited her out before and she didn't bite. By suggesting a place to meet, she is taking control of the interaction. This spot could be good for progressing the interaction, but it could also not. Who knows? I'm at a loss as to how to proceed. Just roll with it? Find out what place she's referring to and check out the reviews? Give her a condition, as in "as long as it's close to your guitar" (as a way to suggest indirectly going back to her place after).... I'm ears.

 

[snipefield]

I decided to focus on having fun yesterday when I went out. I've realized that hearing music I like when being out gets me in a good mood (yep, leave it to me to uncover the obvious). So I decided to hit up a blues club at first. It was pretty packed and I just chilled out and listened to the music for about an hour, practicing having a sexy smirk on my face. Also, the only girl I could have approached within that hour got hit on my a 50 yo dude while waiting for a drink at the bar, and I didn't feel like rolling up to her after him (but should def. have approached before him!)

Victoria
Eventually, I noticed a lady by herself who from afar seemed a bit older. Due to the lighting, I couldn't tell whether she was pretty or not. After thinking about approaching her for way too long, I finally made the plunge and came up to her. She was sitting at the bar, but facing the stage and there was an empty stool next to her. Perfect logistics really.

I complimented her, but it wasn't loud enough because she thought that I had just wanted to sit and started apologizing and clearing away her belongings from the stool next to her. She was pretty. Interesting facial features, short curly, brunette. We got to talking - she was a masters student from the Czech Republic who was finishing up a study-abroad session. Early on in the convo, she mentioned how she was looking forward to going back partly because she missed her bf. I didn't kino her from the outset and also let the boyfriend mention go. The conversation was platonic as a result. It was getting late and she kept saying how she was about to leave, but really liked the band. Eventually, she did go. Could have invited her to have a coffee nearby, but I felt that we didn't speak enough, as about half the time I was next to her, we were listening to the music.

Boring Girl in Club
Went to a club across the street that was relatively empty for a Saturday night. Opened a girl who was sitting on a couch:

me: Hey, I figured you need more company than just your phone.

her: Hmm, I'm OK

me: OK, have a nice night!

Nicole
In same club, opened tall brunette with short curly hair.

me: Hey, I think you're adorable and feel compelled to speak with you.

Nicole: Oh, thank you.

me: Let me ask you a question

Nicole: OK

me: Are you single?

Nicole: Yes.

me: Very good. 1 minute. {extend hand}

Nicole: What?

me: Let's dance for a minute {she gladly accepts}

We get to know each other while dancing. After about 10 minutes, she says she wants to get back to her friends. I'm a bit confused what I should have done here. It seems that I should have shown determination by trying to move her, get her off the dancefloor to a place we could sit and chat. She seemed to be into the music, so I figured she wasn't ready to be moved off of the floor.

German girl
Mistake I made here was not approaching immediately. I kept dancing after Nicole, the previous chick went off. However, the club was so small that Nicole and her group of friends were still pretty close to me. I spotted the cute German blonde nearby too, but waited until an opportune moment when her group wasn't talking with some dudes.

me: Hey. I gotta tell you that you are absolutely adorable.

german girl: Thank you. {smiles}

me: Let me ask you a question.

gg: Yes?

me: Are you single?

gg: No. I've got a boyfriend.

me: That's ok, we can still talk anyways. Do you love him? Are you gonna get married?

gg: Yes, I do

She started to turn away here and I let her go. Improvement from the previous encounter when the Czech girl mentioned the boyfriend. Next time, I'll try to go a little bit more extreme to indicate I'm not vying for the boyfriend by saying something more extreme, like "Does he fuck you right?" (stole from recent FR by Intimidator https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=9084).

Group of 3 girls on street
I wasn't feeling the music in the club and there weren't many ladies left. I ventured outside and felt energetic and optimistic, deriving pleasure from being out.

Approached 3 girls who were standing in a half-circle.

me: You guys are so adorable. {I addressed girl 1 who was on the right, then made eye contact with girl 2, who was in the center} {to girls 2} Hi

girls 2: Konnichi wa! {that was random on this bleach blonde's part, she didn't seem drunk}

me: Genki desu ka?

girl 2: I don't know any languages.

me: Really, none? [shitty response on my part}

girl 2: Yea, we are as American as they get

me: Oh yea, hot dogs and apple pie?

They start walking off. I walked around the neighborhood but didn't find anybody else to open. Decided to hit up an eclectic place that stays open until 5 am that has pool, ping-pong, board games and authentic late-night jazz.

Sister 1

Saw girls sitting at a corner couch alone.

me: Hey! I think you're cute and feel compelled to speak with you.

sis 1: Hi. Thank you!

me: I'm snipefield.

sis 1: I'm sis 1.

me: Pleasure to meet you. Let me ask you a question.

sis 1: OK

me: Are you single?

sis 1: No.

me: That's ok, we can still talk to each other. {she smiles. The another chick comes in and starts to talk to sis 2} Are you taking my new girlfriend away from me? {sis 1 chuckles}

sis 2: She's my sister.

me: That's good

sis 2: Our table's ready.

me: OK, have fun!

Adrienne
I chilled on the couch and listened to the band. I looked back and noticed a pretty girl sitting in the same spot I had noticed sis 1 from previous interaction. She had her shirt unbuttoned a bit too much. Small breasts, straight brunette, pretty face. Elegant beauty.

I went in with compliment opener and we talked about our high schools (turned out to be rival schools0, a little bit about jazz and her career. I enjoyed talking with her, but then her two friends (guy and girl) came in and she became engrossed in a conversation with them. I chilled for about a minute, but then got bored. It didn't seem that Adrienne was going to introduce me to her friends and I wasn't having fun just sitting there, so I ventured back closer to the band.

Too bad, because she was a fun girl. I just didn't know what steps to take in that situation.

Tammy
I was once again chilling on the same couch opposite the bar where I met the previous two girls. I see two hot girls and a guy coming back to the bar to return the supplies they rented for a game (don't remember what game it was). One girl was tipsy so I decided to strike up a conversation with the other one:

me: Hey, I think you're absolutely adorable, I feel compelled to say hi

Tammy: Hi. What's your name?

me: snipefield

Tammy: Are you ...my ethnicity?....

me: Yes. How did you know?

Tammy: My brother's name is snipefield. Do you speak ....our language....

me: Yes

I got a lot of touch in, brushing her lower back and a bit of her butt. She was giving me IOis with her eyes, so that at a certain point I thought of just making out with her. We bantered about being in the city over the holidays. I learned that she was flying back home cross-country in 2 days and she had to help her tipsy friend get home now (it was 4 am). The following day, they would be in the far suburbs. The logistics were unfavorable and I gave up. I should have said the following:

Tammy, let your friends go. I can drive you home later, I promise. Let's go on an adventure.

In the worst, she would have refused. Displaying leadership and dominance in pushing the interaction is a weak point I need to address. Another sticking point I see from these interactions (and I look forward to thoughts) is that I'm being a little bit too empathetic. That is, I give too much value to what I think the girls want to do in a given moment (like with Nicole who was dancing). This prevents me from moving them and making the interaction move forward. It would probably we worthwhile to just focus on moving girls.

Also, I've noticed that I'm taking way too long to approach and I'm also shying away from approaching girls in groups. Not good! The odds are lower compared to approaching single girls, but I'm missing out on lots of learning experiences.

On the other hand, I had a good experience yesterday with enjoying myself and getting a thrill from the approaches I did make (which didn't seem like they were enough in number, in retrospect).