snipefield's journey

[snipefield]

June 26
Did about 15 approaches (likely more, but I didn't log them, so let's call it 15).

The following were noteworthy:

Girl sitting on guard rail
18 yo-looking girl sitting alone waiting for something on a concrete fence between a building's landscaped lawn and the sidewalk. Approached and opened. She did mention a boyfriend, but was put at ease when I said I have a boyfriend, too. A couple of minutes into our interaction, a black guy sitting to her left interjected. I instantly reacted saying,

Dude, leave us alone, I'm talking with this girl

He eased up a bit but then interjected again after a few minutes.

me: Dude, I told you, leave us alone. Can't you see I'm gaming this chick

guy: Be happy man {we were right in front of an outdoor dance festival so he was in a jovial mood}

her: You're gaming me? I thought you had a boyfriend and you were gay?

me: I am gay ... ish.

Right about this moment her boyfriend appears and she starts to get up and go. Me and the guy are left.

me: Dude, no offense to you, but get your own women. You couldn't tell that I was gaming that girl? {I look him dead in the eye}

him: {pauses for a bit} Yeah, I got you man {offers his hand to shake}

We shake and I walk off. Shit was funny.

3 Girls on Bench
Energized by the previous interaction, I see the backs of 3 girls sitting on a bench on the street. I walk past, turn around and say enthusiastically

Hi! I'm the first idiot of the night!

They almost didn't even let me finish the "hi" before responding. We start bantering and I figure they like me enough to join them on the bench. I made the wrong move by sitting at the edge of the bench NOT next to the girl in the middle who I found the most attractive (should have sat in the middle, doh).

Anyways, I'm talking to the girl next to me, who is quite snarky, when out of nowhere this black guy comes up and interjects with an opener about some college (one of the chicks was wearing a jersey). I'm surprised and was on the verge of saying something, but followed my intuition that it's better to ride this one out.

At a certain point after the convo peters out a bit with them, he recognizes me and says

guy: Show me some love {he extends hand to give me a casual non-business handshake like the young people do. As we do this, he also tries to pull me up so that I stand up}

me: I'll show you some love, but I ain't getting up.

guy: Yeah, smart, cause I was gonna take your seat.

me: Yea, I'm not new to this game

He disappears shortly after that. I just found it funny that these two black guys were salting my game up. It's not so much that it's bad, it's actually admirable because they have the balls to come in put themselves in a relatively unpredictable situation like that. I for sure at this level would NOT come up to 3 girls and a guy sitting next to them and open the girl who the guy is talking to......

I grabbed my girls # as they were about to go, but with no plan to meet up later. Never texted back. Sucks, cause I did want to chat up the girl who was sitting in the middle...

Tall German Girl
She was standing hesitating with her friend and I went in and opened confidently and had a 5-minute convo with her. Got number, she responded well to text. No dice on meeting this weekend, next weekend I'm out of town, so we'll see what plays out.

Girl at Bustop
She was quite soft-spoken and cautious at first, but then was laughing at a lot of my stupid humor. Got her number just before she went into the bus, but no response to icebreaker.

June 27
5 approaches that led to nowhere, with 1 being a pretty good one where I should have pushed harder....

I walk out of the train station and see a beautiful, fit blonde behind the hot-dog/pretzel stand. I chat her up. It's early and there are no customers, she seems to have free time. I fumble up the ask (lack of confidence in tone) so she deflects it, saying that she's really busy.

me: That's OK, we'll just go for coffee.

her: .... I have a boyfriend

me: Hmm, I haven't heard that one before

And then I just stood there like a tree. Ughhh. I should have made it humorous Sasha-day-game style and told her

I'm not leaving there until I got her number and agree to meet. I'm gonna chat each and every one of your customers.

Grabbed number off another German girl. Then met up with a female friend and was too nervous to approach on the street in front of her. But did finally approach a girl in a shoe store and got number. However, this chick turned out to be a time-waster via text (making up sarcastic excuses when I invited her out for coffee - "i'm allergic", tea or ice cream - "i only drink imported tea and I'm lactose intolerant. on a tuesday. during sunrise"), no sense in pursuing that.

 

[snipefield]

Went on a date yesterday. Let's call her Ashley.

Mistake # 1: I didn't scope out the meetup spot well. The bubble tea shop was conveniently located near my house, but there were way too many people inside. I ran into Ashley on the street right around when we agreed to meet. We walk in and the spot on the bar stools by the window was taken.

Mistake # 2: I ordered my tea, and motioned for her to order. She asked me whether she's on my tab in an un-assuming fashion. I replied, "Sure, I invited you". I should stick to my principles and have the girl pay for her own drink, no matter what.

We sat across from each other at a table. She seemed far from me, but in truth I could have capitalized on adding touch by taking her hand, but didn't.

We actually had a pretty good convo - she was really asking me lots of questions. I in turn was being evasive, giving her the sense that I wasn't really into talking about myself. Early in the convo, feminism came up and I told her that I think it's gone way too far in the wrong direction....

I think all her questions derailed me asking her about her life, what she finds interesting, etc. So that while we were sitting in the coffee shop, I didn't get any nuggets about her that would set us on the path of making a true connection.

I did mantain great eye contact and flirted a little bit, but really should have touched her hand and let mine linger there during high points.

I said, "Let's take a walk" as she finished her tea. I noticed she seemed in a rush as we exited onto the street. At the stoplight, she tried to cross rapidly and make a right, while I was going straight. We kept chatting and walking. But, at the next intersection, she suddenly said she has to go help her roommate out (she did tell me story before about how her roommate is breaking up with her bf), but I called bullshit on this. I actually was extremely surprised she just decided to end our time abruptly, so I tookl her hand and said,

Come on, your roommate? Hang out a little bit more

I don't think I did this in the smootheset way because I wouldn't let her fingers go for a little bit, which I think just prompted her to resist more. So in about 20 seconds she just started to go. Obviously, I wasn't gonna chase this one.

I was pretty bummed about what happened. Perhaps it was an attainability issue? She got a lot of info out of me about all the places I lived. It didn't help that I let it slip that I speak some foreign languages. On the flip side, I was self-deprecating (no friends here, that's why I go around the street and do pick-up). As a side note, self-deprecation, I've realized is not a very smooth trait..

I know that women are the best feedback mechanism out there. I'm sure that there's a lesson in here somewhere, I just can't figure out what it is......

It would be wonderful to learn how to react to these types of situations in a constructive manner (since they are by their very nature constructive feedback). Instead, my typical reaction is to become upset and continuously replay the scenario in my head. I've read Tolle and understand the concept of just being staying in moment on an intellectual level, but all this goes down the drain when a girl who you were hanging with suddenly walks off in another direction.

A couple of ideas about what may have went down

1. She wasn't interested in me and had a pretty firm rule for what happens on a date under that circumstance.
2. She was attracted but scared of what may happen. She saw me taking the lead and decided to bail out while she could still make a decision based on logic.
3. I wasn't SUPER attracted to her, so maybe she felt that. Maybe she felt that I was just having fun and it felt impersonal to her.....

 

[snipefield]

1 approach last night after midnight and 1 approach today.

 

[snipefield]

Shiiit. It's been a while. And I'm supposed to be in the Snatch tourney.

Well here goes.

July 3
I went up to Montreal, Canada for one the best live music festivals on planet Earth: The Montreal Jazz Festival!

A decent amount of approaches here. Here are the notable ones:

Jade
Very pretty girl dressed like a hippy. I opened her with a compliment and she was very friendly. I found out she was homeless and was going to pick up her dog from a friend. So she was basically one of these kids who goes off to explore the country and just do nothing and chill on the streets. The thing is, she had a positive vibe, and I basically just got frightened as soon as she said she was homeless. I didn't wanna risk anything, but really regretted not pushing things with her, because it would have been a great lesson and I would have gotten out of my comfort zone. Sometimes I tend to be a little too conservative and careful with risk-taking. I think this was one of those situations.

Mother-daughter
I walked around a good bit after Jade doing random approaches. Finally got tired and went for lunch. I was actually dreading sitting next to the mother/daughter pair, because the daughter was HOT and I knew I'd have to keep myself from staring at her. However, there were no other open seats on the patio. They were Quebecois and speaking French. Doubly hot. About halfway into the meal, I just couldn't hold it in any more and tell the mom:

Excuse me. I just had to tell you. Your daughter is very cute.

They were both very friendly and we chatted a little bit and I had them teach me a couple of French phrases. For whatever reason, I felt somewhat inadequate being in Quebec and not knowing any French. I at first decided that I should learn a couple of phrases and use them as openers as a challenge.

Emma
Complimented this chick standing in the crowd at the festival. She wasn't really doing anything, so I invited her to sit down with me. We sat on the steps and she told me about how her boyfriend is out-of-town and how she misses him. Bells started going off in my head. However, I couldn't really tell what she was about. The convo wasn't really flowing. She had agreed to meet her friend in another part of town, but it was still a little bit early. I decided to accompany her to the station when she got up to go. More awkward convo. I did try to kiss her at the end by saying:

Come here, I wanna kiss you

She replied "no" and deflected to cheek kiss. Still good learning opportunity.

Justine
Went into tea shop and noticed a lovely girl reading a book on the patio right by the exit. Approached her with compliment, which she appreciated. I didn't feel like standing over her, so asked if I could join for a little bit. We had a lovely chat about what she was reading, her life, etc. Another lovely Quebec girl. I don't know what it is about them, but those French-speaking girls are darn sexy! About 10 minutes in, she started to tell me about her boyfriend (I noticed a ring on her finger). So it turned platonic towards the end, but I still count as insta-date since I sat down and spoke with her for quite a bit.

Chloe
Girl who just got off shift working at the festival. I tend to ask now what the girls are doing and she said she was going to meet some friends. I realize that a slightly better wording is "What are you doing right this moment", since it's a little more playful. Could have persisted with this one a little bit.

Sabine
I walked back to my hotel to take a break. On the way back towards the festival I open this utterly hot, tall blonde chick who's walking towards. She turned out to be a German solo traveler. I quickly asked her if she wanted to join and we go into a park where circus people were prepping for a free performance. Nothing was going on there, so we get back out onto the street, and then she asks if we're going to the festival. We weren't - we were actually going in the direction of my hotel hehe. However, I really did want to go to the festival (I was heading over there), and so it didn't even cross my mind to protest.

Anyways, we had good convo, but I never got past establishing enough physical touch with her. I think in these instances, I should just re-iterate that they're cute and even go as far as do something awkward like hug em and pick them up. We saw one complete show and then the convo started dying out in the second show, so she abruptly left to "go back to her hostel".

Hmm, I think I was a little bit intimidated after the initial opener (scared of losing her) and so I didn't push anything. Should have!

Also, I did a silly thing by showing her my cheat sheet for French phrases like, "You have pretty eyes".

Annie
On the way back to my hotel again to freshen up I notice a girl texting next to entrance to a club. I open her and it turns out she's visiting her friend from NY. However, the friend is late, the club is lame and she's not in the best mood. However, she is speaking. There was this lull in conversation and then I decided to eject. And just about as soon as I had done that, I realized what a pity it was that I didn't at least push to take her around the corner, literally, to my hotel room for a "drink". The logistics COULD NOT HAVE BEEN BETTER. Well, you do live and learn because I redeemed myself with logistics the following week in NYC.

15 openers + 3 insta-dates = 14 + 15 = 29

 

[snipefield]

July 4
10 openers and 1 insta-date.

Maya Insta-Date
Dirty natural blonde tall girl with small titties in dress without bra. She was standing in front of me as were listened to one of the many live shows during the day at the festival. I complemented her and we got to chatting, and eventually I asked her if she wants to sit down. We moved and just sat on the ground in front of the huge stage as a band was doing a sound check for their evening performance. We were sitting close and had a good convo, but again, I just didn't escalate the touch. She had to go to work, so that when I asked if she wants to go sit elsewhere for a little bit, she peaced. She was bartending that night, so I threw out a feeler asking when she's gonna finish to see if she would initiate hanging out. She didn't, so I let it go.

Black chick in club
At night I went out to the clubbing district (on Rue St. Laurent for those in know). Did approaches here and there. Finally got to a club with pretty good music. My club game SUCKS, I realized. I don't drink and I don't go wild as a result. I've tried to incorporate the dance game advice, but to no avail. I really can't find the balance between being the gropey guy and being too aloof. In this case, I was leaning against a supporting wall and just scoping the scene for any approach invitations. However, there were none and I wound up choding around for probably an hour and a half alone. Didn't do any approaches at all because there weren't that many people in the club.. Finally did approach one girl who's friend I had noticed was busy talking to some guy. However, when I took her hand to dance, she declined and went off to sit on the sidelines. I re=aproached, telling her that I was gonna persist a little bit, but instead of having a body-language centric convo, she started to talk to me on a logical level. I got bored and just ejected.

15 points

 

[snipefield]

July 5

Naomi
I was heading towards the jazz fest in the morning. It was around 9:30 AM and there weren't too many people out. Complimented a tall, slender black girl going in my direction. She stopped and was appreciative. She was visiting from France and asked whether or not I could tell from her accent. I asked her where she was going and she said to exchange money. I let her go. Realized almost as soon as that happened that I missed a chance for an insta-date.


4 other openers = 5 points

 

[snipefield]

July 10
Went down to NYC to hang out with a good friend who lives abroad. He's a high-quality guy, is also into game and introspection. We got an AirBnB with perfect logistics.

I didn't log my interactions this evening. I probably made around 15 approaches, mostly done on the street. The best one was the first one.

me: Hey! Stop! You are very sexy. {she stops}

her: Excuse me?

me: You are adorable. {silence, eye contact}

her: {she smiles a bit} Re-do that. {said in a patronizing way, like I was her student. This immediately got the following reaction out of me}

me: Hmm, who the fuck are you?

This pissed her off and she walks. Ah, this was definitely a shit test. She was intrigued for sure, there was just nothing else she could do to see if I was really the cool guy I was representing myself to be. Since we were in the street.

15 points

 

[snipefield]

July 11

My buddy had a family function in the afternoon, so I just walked around the city doing approaches. I was quite in my head at first and it actually took me some time to remember that it's always OK to fall back on the singles opener, especially when you haven't done it in a while. For the fast-paced streets of NYC, it actually works quite well.

Incidentally, this happened with one of the first girls I opened:

me: Hey there, stop.

girl: ...

me: I gotta quick question for you.

girl: Yes?

me: Are you single?

girl: ........ Uhh, soo annoying.

Haha! I had a couple of other ones who got super-annoyed at this as well. But of course, also a couple who were interested. In particular, this sweet Turkish girl was very receptive, but she was heading to some business school function and I didn't think quick enough to take her number or ask her to make a detour. Also, my phone died and this receptive chick seemed down to hang out in the evening, so she took my number, but of course never texted me.

In the evening, my friend and I walked around the neighborhood and then went to DL, a club on Delancey and Ludlow. We actually didn't have luck getting in the previous evening because we came late, so we were smarter about it on this night. We came right around 11 when they just opened the club and they let us in immediately. One thing that helped was that we were dressed quite well. My friend lives in Asia, where people judge much more critically based on dress, and so his wardrobe is right on the money.

There already quite a few people in the club at this point. I decided to take full advantage of the fact that I was with a friend. We planted ourselves at the bar and used it as a pivot. Girls would come around to get drinks and conversations would start spontaneously. One chick even complimented him on his sports jacket.

We got to talking with this girl, Julie, and started vibing quite well with her. She was here for a bachelorette party and was married herself, so that may have explained her friendliness. At a certain point, she started to advertise a beautiful single friend in their group and asked if we wanted to meet her. My friend responded in the most perfect non-chalante way, whereas I was a bit worse in containing my interest.

Julie brings the friend and to our surprise, one of the first things she asks us is we're gonna buy the friend drinks. We were so taken aback: neither of us had an agenda. Just 3 minutes ago it didn't seem like Julie had one either. We immediately stopped investing in the convo and the girls just trailed off.

I was basically too lazy to approach because using the bar as a pivot allowed us to chat with enough girls spontaneously. As a result, I basically didn't do too many real approaches. There was one however that I'm proud of. A girl had her back to me and she was wearing a haltertop, so I just snapped her bra strap. Hehe.

It was getting later and I noticed a tallish blonde girl with a short haircut dancing. I approached complimented her and as soon as we started to exchange names, I realized this girl was from my country. Let's call her Maria. She was quite receptive and I realized that I had found my target. She was there with two friends - an Indian chick and a Chinese chick.

They weren't too possessive of her and Maria and I basically kept dancing together on and off. We moved to other parts of the dance floor a couple of times. She actually had quite good dance moves but was fairly shy when I got close to her. I did initiate hand touch early in our interaction, though.

We probably spent an hour together before I told her I was hungry. She checked with her friends and nobody but me wanted to eat. I tabled the idea and we kept dancing. At a certain point, we decided to move from the 3rd floor to the 2nd. The music here was more chill and there weren't many people on the dance floor. She was really getting into the music and I finally kissed her here. She played coy like she was taken aback, but I could tell she was enjoying it. After about 10 minute there, we went downstairs and saw her friends just sitting there. It was around 3 AM and Maria had a train to catch around 4. So I told her we should go get something to eat.

We went out onto the street and she said goodbye to her friends. We crossed the street and I went into a pizza shop while Maria stayed on the street. The line was long and it was so hot in this shop that I decided on another plan. I took her by the hand and started to lead her.

Earlier, I had threw out bait that I had some avocados and that we should eat them. Here's where this came in handy:

Maria: Where are we going?

me: You'll see

Maria: No, I want to know.

me: You'll see, somewhere fun
......

I lead her down the block and get the key out to get into the apartment building.

Maria: What is this place?

me: It's where I keep the avocados.

She kind of tugs at my hand, but not in a serious way, she's still holding on. I open the entrance door.

Maria: What is this place?

me: Don't worry, it's just an apartment.

Maria: But I don't want to go to someone's house.

I just ignore and keep leading. I think I wasn't holding her hand anymore, because of the narrow NYC corridors. But she was following. We walk up and as soon as I open the door and she gets in, she sighs in relief because it is nice and air-conditioned.

To ease the mood, I show her the avocados and she starts cutting them up and preps them in an elegant wifey way. Basically, we start to eat the avocados and I can't find the right moment to initiate the make-out. She's either eating avocado or sipping on tea. I do go for it eventually, but she breaks it off and continues to eat. Now, she's holding the tea up in front of her when she's not eating to create a barrier. About 15 minutes pass and I actually take the tea-mug and put it down and ask her jokingly if she's doing that on purpose. She says yes.

She starts saying that she has to go catch her train. I keep sitting on the couch. She motions me to get up but I keep sitting there. She stands over me and we are holding each others hands. She's far enough away that I can't really grab her, so we just continue to flirt like this for 5 or so minute. I never get past this. She says this like "this is too fast", "I'm being a bad girl tonight", "I don't know you", "I don't do things like this". I do tell her that she's welcome to stay, but there will be no sex.

Eventually, she says that she really has to go and I oblige. She asked me to walk down with her. I thought about it and then decided to do it. I pin her in the hallway to the wall and we have another make-out. I fumble this one a bit because I bite her lip a bit too hard, but she may have just been exaggerating.

I walk to the train station with her. Now she is super chatty. We talk for about 10 minutes right outside the entrance to the subway. I throw out the idea that she can stay again, but no bueno. We kiss goodbye and she leaves.

Hmm, I wonder how I could have pulled this one off better. If I wouldn't have talked about how I didn't drink, I could have offerred booze. But as it is, it would have raised a red flag because it would've been incongruent (as in "I see, he never drinks but now he just wants to get in my pants, so he's trying to get me drunk").

I really loved experiencing the power of superior logistics. It was sooo much fun. Really makes one wanna live in the heart of it all and party it up!

28 approaches + 1 make-out = 38 points.

 

[snipefield]

July 14
5 openers + 1 number

I got the number from a girl on the train. Everything was smooth, except I had asked her twice when she was getting off in order to know how quickly to get her #. This probably came across as a bit needy..

5 + 3 = 8 points

 

[snipefield]

Advice and Thoughts from Friend
It was so wonderful to game with a close friend who is also on the journey. I usually go out alone, so being with a friend was a big luxury.

I had told him in the club that I was gonna try to pull Maria, so he stayed out of the way and out of the apartment. Apparently, he became super tired and was pretty drunk, so he actually went to a park south of Delancey to "take a break". After Maria bounced, I went around the neighborhood for half an hour looking for him. Unfortunately, I didn't venture south of the club. He called me a couple of hours later after he woke up in the park. Shit is hilarious, because he was dressed to the nines. I would have loved to see him sleeping on a NYC park bench.

Anyways, we had a nice chat after he came back and he offerred me some invaluable advice since he saw my game from the side.

He said that my own body language is pretty good, but I am not very good at reading girls' body language. Another recommendation he had was for me to become really good at rambling because some of my conversations seem a bit forced, and this makes girls uncomfortable. He suggested I think of stories that would seem natural that would advance the conversation. Then practice structure and timing.

 

[snipefield]

Date with Brazilian

Went on a date with a Brazilian girl I had met a couple of weeks back. She lives right down the street so we agreed to meet at a bubble tea shop right near by. She was somewhat distant, but I got her to open in the following way. I used a technique I read from Demeanor (I think that's his nick, he's the guy from kenya, props man!).... I told her I'm reading a book about women's sexual fantasies, bla bla bla (My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday). She expressed interest and said she had possibly heard of it.

That's how we got onto the topic of books, which she enjoys. At first, I was making very good eye contact, but she was mostly looking away. In response, I stared into the distance as well and got her to invest more. We actually had pretty good chemistry talking about books. After about 30 minutes I led her to the bar down the street where we played pool. Got some incidental touch in, but nothing too crazy.

I invited her to my house for a drink after the bar, but she declined.... she had warned me before she was working a double shift at the coffee shop and started at 5 AM the next day. We stood on the sidewalk and chatted. Interestingly, she was basically looking away, as if she was shy to look into my eyes. Mind you, this is not really a shy girl, she's pretty confident. Alas, I was a little bit far away to do a make-out smoothly.

Was her looking away a major escalation window that I missed? I'm imagining now that I could have put my left hand on her neck and put my right hand on her hip and gone for the make-out. Instead, I extended my hand and had her come into me and kissed her, but it would up being on the cheek. And then I kissed her on the cheek again, a little bit awkward.

I'm gonna try date compression with her, but she's out of town for the weekend. Does this count towards the Snatch tourney (I met her in June)?

 

[ray_zorse]

The date sounds fine, one can never be certain, but if things are kept pretty low-key and especially if she ends it early for some legitimate reason, she should agree to meet you again without any real risk of missed window, the danger comes in if you build up her emotions too high without following through (something that was recently pointed out to me by radeng and explains why several of the JP-girls I hung out with recently have brushed me off by text)... all the same it's best not to leave things to chance, IMO you fucked up slightly by mentioning the words "my place", I have been experimenting with this lately with various pulls that looked pretty much like a sure thing, and in which I had seeded stuff like watching anime or having downloaded a her-country film with English subs... and found it doesn't work for me, they nearly always object and you can't recover from there. If I were you I'd go for more plausible deniability next time. Other than that, good going, I also wonder what the eye contact means -- if she's extremely fidgety and keeps meeting your eye and looking away, it points to a pain-body, but in this case it seems to be more of a preference? If she was Asian I would say it's a cultural thing, but Brazilian?

Nice work on the wingman game and getting some useful tips. Actually, I am planning to take a break from other dating for a while due to my complicated love life (and focus on my body goals in meantime) but I considered advertising my services as a PUA coach in Melbourne, mainly so I can try to meet some more determined dudes who can ultimately wingme, I'm getting fuckin frustrated with pulling chicks in solo nightgame, would be so much easier with a good wing.

Ray

 

[snipefield]

4 approaches yesterday, 1 of these was number. Very solid dominant approach, except I think I wrote the wrong number down. Doh!

This is on the heels of me getting a hot chicks number on Thursday and then deleting it by mistake.

4 points

 

[snipefield]

13 approaches today, got numbers from 2 of these. I was feeling a bit rusty, so mainly used the singles opener. The two numbers were off of girls who were receptive / warm. I think I missed a couple of chances to polarize and push forward with a couple of the other ones.

Am proud of myself for opening a girl who I thought wasn't up to par attraction-wise. Invited her for ice-cream with an open-ended question, she replied "I'm okay". Still good I tried, though.

11 + 6 = 17

 

[snipefield]

15 approaches on Saturday, with one of those 1 number.

6 approaches today - invited 1 girl out for an insta-date, but didn't persist when she said she needed to go meet friends.

Last approach was a huge missed window. Ughh. I'm 1 block away from my house. Tall hispanic girl is walking ahead of me. I open too low at first, she's involved with her phone.

me: Hey there

girl:.....

me: {louder now} Hey, whatsup

girl: Hi

me: I gotta question for you

girl: Yeah

me: Are you single?

girl: Well I'm going thru something with my boyfriend now

me: Ohh yeah, what are you guys going thru

girl: {pauses} Well, when you have to beg someone to satisfy your sexual urges, that's not right. So I walked out on him 1 week ago.

me: Heh, he couldn't keep up with your libido, huh

girl: I guess not

me: What's your name?

girl: Zena

me: I'm snipefield. Well, I have to go here unfortunately. {my street came up}

Dooh. I subconsciously I was getting a bit of a ghetto vibe from her, but who cares, I should've at least pushed it just a tad. We were sooo close to my house - ice cream or straight to my house would have been perfect.

17 + 6 = 23 points

 

[snipefield]

Pondered a bit about how I'm not polarizing women enough in my interactions. Dug up Chase's Being a Challenge to Women (& Really Turning them On) article.

Tried to converse with those ideas in my head, but of course they got all jumbled up in the heat of the moment.....

Interactions took place over course of yesterday and today.

Interpreting girls' reactions is a sticking point, so it's good try these and get feedback:

1
Passed girl on the way out of the coffee shop. She had head down looking at phone. I actually walked out and then came back.... But, she didn't notice and it was all good

me: Hey there. Whatsup

1: ....

me: Hey, I think you are adorable and I had to say hi.

1: Oh. Thank you. I'm flattered.

me: Really? {I was surprised, cause she likely gets plenty of compliments}

1: Yes.

me: I'm snipefield.

1: I'm 1.

me: So, 1, what does the night have in store for you?

1: Nothing, I'm gonna go home....I just got off of work and now I'm waiting for a friend.

me: Oh, where do you work

1: At the x hotel

I got off-kilter because I was still trying to understand whether she was just being polite (my attainability not high enough, as aforementioned article describes). In the moment, though, I couldn't think up of how I could counter this. I was standing, she was sitting looking at her phone. Deep diving, as someone recently mentioned isn't about asking standard questions. So without her having given a signal for me to stick around, I didn't know how to proceed.

2
Went to a dance club popular with the college crowd right near my house. I got there at 1 AM, which was actually the optimal time, because there was no longer any line to get in. I realize this type of efficiency really helps me with my momentum. i don't like standing in line and I find it hard to chat up girls in them (especially since the pretty girls often get bumped up).

Opened a girl who was clearing her tab in a very low key manner. She took to me, although kept saying how she has to leave. I told her to stay for just a little bit. She asked me the standard questions, including my age, if I'm there alone. Her friend, right behind her, was making out with some guy.

I could tell Jennifer was attracted to me, but didn't know how to proceed. Now I realize I could have said that "looks like your friend is enjoying herself" and invited her for a nightcap at my place.

3
Two spanish girls at the same club. They had a pretty involved conversation going when I stepped in. I was quite friendly and fun and they enjoyed my company. However, it started to peter out when I didn't take it to the next level. I did move them a little bit to be further away from the music, but that wasn't enough.

I asked the prettier one about a tattoo she had on her ring finger. Specifically, whether it had anything to do with marriage, to which she replied "I'm anti-marriage". I asked why and she said because she got a divorce.

Guys, please give some pointers. It doesn't seem genuine to blabber on about how marriage isn't a good deal even though that's what I might feel, cause she'll probably think that I'm just saying these things to agree with her. Better is something flirty... maybe, "Oh, I see what you're doing here, you charm men you meet and then break their hearts into pieces"

Anyways, she was starting to roll her eyes and I got the signal to leave. She said something like "It was nice to meet you". To this I responded with, "Oh, that's ok, that doesn't mean much". "I was just being polite". "You don't have to be. I rather be polarizing..."

4
Complimented tourist girl checking out a map. Asked if she's single. She wasn't, but kept speaking. Introduced myself, bantered about where she's from, etc etc. We talked for a good 5 minutes like that, I so I knew I had to take forward so I invited her to go get ice cream. No go - "I have limited time here and I wanna roam around". No biggie. I kept speaking and then spontaneously asked if she bought some nice lingerie (she was carrying a Victoria's Secret bag). She said yes.

me: Is it red?

4: I'm not telling you that

.........and walks away.

Well, mission of polarizing women accomplished!

5
Step out of a supermarket with a bunch of plastic bags full of groceries. See a nice ass and blonde hair in front of me.

me: Hey, blonde hair in blue shorts! {she turns around to my surprise}

5: ? {smiles}

me: Hey. From behind you look great, and from the front, too.

5: Thank you.

me: What's your name?

5: Eileen.

me: Whatsup Eileen, i'm snipefield. What u up to this evening?

5: Nothing much, just going to a friend's house.

me: Partying it up?

5: Not really, just hanging out.

We walked together for only about 10 feet, because she darted into her friend's apartment building. I'm noting this one because in the moment, I think my wariness of expressing my sexuality still persists. Otherwise I would have dropped my stupid groceries and told her "Wow, you are really something.", while extending my hands. By her smile, she had been interested.....

Maybe I'm overthinking this sexuality aspect........

 

[ray_zorse]

I will make a quick note on each interaction of what occurs to me:

1. I think a bit more of a bantering, teasing vibe might have worked here. It could have gone like this:

1: Nothing, I'm gonna go home....I just got off of work and now I'm waiting for a friend
me: Home? I'm not sure that I can allow that.
-or-
me: Home? think I might have heard that word before somewhere, but I cannot remember what it is
(both delivered with a teasing smile)
1: ha ha, easy for you to say, I guess you didn't just work an 8 hour shift
me: oh sure I did... my main job at the moment is chatting to cute women, it's extremely exhausting
1: ha ha, nice work if you can get it... so how's your working day panned out today?
me: ha ha, at this instant I'm working on a job which is incredibly promising, I think she will buy
1: smart arse, what are you selling then?
-etc-

2. It's hard to give any specific advice without the details of the conversation, I think it was a tough one. Because you need a little time to build enough attraction / connection before you can really influence her behaviour. I guess it would've been good to (a) get physical with her, such as by holding her hand or something of that nature, and (b) suggest to move to another nearby location, such as the convenience store for a coffee, etc.

3. You moved the girls, good going. I must say it's rather hard to separate a pair of girls and that makes it hard to get anything good going, because if you get deep with one (strong EC, not breaking circle etc), the other one's going to get left out. So it's best to keep it light and flirty, as you said, and maybe hope to pull both of them with promise of an afterparty? Or, maybe you could try to find yourself a wing earlier in the night, it does occasionally happen that a guy is there with game that's not terrible. Anyway, it was good to ask about the tattoo, anything noticeable about her is conversation fodder, but when it starts to get heavy, thread cut to an earlier topic. Mind you, when she said she's anti-marriage that was very good stuff. I would've chase framed like you said, but instead of break their hearts into little pieces, "take advantage of" might've worked better.

4. Yeah, she wasn't down. Props for persisting with some flirtatious banter after she said no, but it doesn't look like it was recoverable here. I suppose you might have asked her out too early, but you couldn't know that.

5. Love the "hey, blonde hair in blue shorts!" opener... although I have not had success with followup lines like "I could not see, but I suspected you would be cute and I was right", seems a bit awkward, but you pulled it off apparently. Normally, for instance, if I approach on a train, I'll ask what stop she's getting off at, so I know how much time I have to work with... but sometimes, like here, they scoot off before you can even do that. Shit happens. Haha... but actually you're right in that her early interest might have been parlayed with something better, had you been a bit more teasing... like look in her shopping bag and bust on her about something.

Overall, it looks like you're trying to get into deep diving too early, you can do that if you have GREAT fundamentals, strong eye contact and body language, but it's probably best to try a bit of banter, I know, easier said than done... but warmup always helps. Also I think you need to be trying some more cold reads, like "what are you up to?" is a boring conversational tactic and should never be used. Always "what are you up to, you're waiting for a friend?" or "what are you up to, looks like you're heading home to cook a healthy meal?" ... if possible give a range of options, she'll automatically choose one and build on it, or correct you if you're miles off.

Ray

 

[snipefield]

I was extremely tired on Friday but decided to go to a house party a co-worker was having anyways.

Unfortunately when I got there, things were wrapping up. I had gotten myself in the party mode and was higher energy than the rest of the people. I was actually being a bit loud and obnoxious.

In speaking with a group, another co-workers gf said that they actually had fun before but we're going home now to which I impetuously replied "that's irrelevant, I wasn't there". I could tell she was a bit taken aback.....I had dragged myself out and now these guys were wrapping up. " what a waste " was what I thought

I didn't think much of it, but over the weekend I started to to replay the interaction in my head. Like I may have hurt her feelings and she may gave asked her bf, "who is that asshole?".

Seems like I may be uncalibrated. That is to say, when the asshole me comes out, people may really take offense. And that still makes me uncomfortable. Anyway, I'm experiment with this now in order to bring more of a carefree, fun vibe when I'm interacting with women.

 

[ray_zorse]

NO NO NO, you were obnoxious, selfish and polarizing. Perfect. She may love you or hate you, but she won't be thinking of you as "that nobody who showed up and went home again". Haha I really smiled at this. Things are less offensive if said in a more teasing tone or a smile, I suppose if you sounded butthurt that it was finishing it'd be bad.
Ray

 

[snipefield]

Back on my college campus and I've realized looking back throughout the past year that I've put in a fair deal of effort to gaming (perhaps I could have done better, been more focused, but still) with minimal results. At least on campus here I have failed in cracking the code of how to get the girls I find attractive.

This put me down a bit, because ultimately it seems like a bit of a waste of time. Straw that broke the camel's back was getting rejected in a fairly standard way by 2 girls at nightclub yesterday ('we're gonna do dance, it was nice to meet you' me: 'no it wasn't'). Don't know why, but that just hurt.

I've got to focus on my studies hardcore and I'm almost tempted to shut out focusing on girls altogether. I have definitely NOT been obeying the law of least effort in certain respects by devoting a big chunk of mental and time capacity to girls... But perhaps that path has to be taken...

I think there is still ample opportunity to practice flirting with girls without expending a lot of effort.... just today missed good chance.....
Reception girl at gym asked me how my workout was (after also kind of giving me eyes when I was checking in). I replied "that's a loaded question". Better would have been to say,

it wasn't as good as some other things I can think of

, while looking dead in the eye.

Also, going out last night solidified that it's generally very hard for me to enjoy your typical top-40, college-crowd dance club where the majority of girls are in cliques dancing...

So that pretty much leaves the campus in between classes, with attempt to set up meeting for same day. I'm focusing on Tinder too but it has been a lot of swiping for very little payback, although I did have pro photos made back in April....