Starting from Scratch Journal

[Edd--19]

I've had a great few days approaching. I've been able to stick to my goals the majority of the time and it has helped my interactions a lot. However I do feel that I am expending a lot more effort than I should be. When I am in a conversation I feel like I am trying to keep it going much more than she is even though she is telling me more about herself than the other way around. I get compliance most of the time though when I ask the girl to move with me so I'm not sure if I have to expend this much effort at the start of the conversation.

For example when I ask a girl a question and she answers it, such as "do you do anything creative?" I get a response and I try to dig a little deeper but I seem/ feel to hit a wall when she won't tell me anymore other than I've "I've always done it" or "I enjoy it" and if I follow up with "why?" I get a blank response. Maybe at this point I should give a bored look and wait for her to respond rather than to try and find another topic to connect on. I believe most of it comes from not following the law of least effort and it kills the interactions and attraction I am getting.

However, yesterday when I went out (and really wanted to stay in bed to sleep more) I met some guys who were trying to get more into daygame. They were headed by a guy who lives in my city who has been doing day game for 4 years so I hope to befriend him and learn from him. I watched him in action for a bit with a good looking indian girl and she was really into him by the time that they had finished their interaction and it seemed like she didn't want to leave. From watching this guy a good distance away he barely put in much effort, it seemed, and the conversation flowed but I wasn't close enough to see what he was doing.

On my approaching I've got several numbers and have learnt more by sticking to my goals than I have done without them. They're definitely staying!

Seeing as I've approached 1000 girls today I want to note some changes that I've noticed in my conversations and generally.

1- I'm much better to cope with approach anxiety. It isn't as much of a problem and it mostly comes before I've approached my first girl. It's gotten a lot easier to meet girls in the day but if I go into a different situation I do find it harder than usual, but that is mostly due to lack of experience in different arenas.

2- My conversations with girls last longer than when I started. I can go for a few minutes with either an alright conversation or a while longer with a fun, interesting conversation. The latter usually comes when something unexpected happens and we both joke about it and it sets a good tone for the rest of the conversation.

3- Since developing my fundamentals I've noticed much more attraction from girls in general. I notice them looking at me through my peripherals many more girls are much happier when I approach them.

4- The speed at which I can talk about sex, chase frame or push-pull girls is much faster than before. I used to be scared to bring up the topic but now it feels much more natural and girls do laugh but they do have their guards up a bit. I suppose that is more due to me having to develop a sexy vibe more than anything else, but at the moment I have other things that I want to focus on first before I start on that. Namely making conversations last and getting the girl talking more and hooking.

5- Lastly, since doing this my confidence has rocketed because I have developed better attuned social skills and I have a fairly good process I follow. I am more able to say no to people (I wasn't a complete "nice guy" but was much closer to that side than bad boy). I'm still developing all of these things slowly but I am definitely continuing regardless of the ups and downs I still have to have.

My goals for the next week I'm keeping the same but I will try and become more "effortless" in doing them and find a better way to carry on the conversations I'm having because I must be doing something wrong with them otherwise I'd be getting the results I want with my conversations. All in all I'm doing quite well and learning a fair bit at the moment. I'll post a field report sometime in the coming week.

 

[ray_zorse]

Dude dude apologies if I am intruding (yes I admit it, as a GC geek I read everyone's journals) but about your sticking point of being the driver of the conversation you really must read & apply this article, I found the link for you:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/employing-cold-read-unlock-womens-secrets
It was Smith who put me onto this, by voicing some assumption about her you get her to either confirm it (making you look like a badass) or start explaining/justifying herself, meanwhile you just sit back and let her do the work, adding another suggestion here and there to keep it moving.

See my journal for how I got a cute teacher sharing this morning. I asked only one question but actually my voice tone made it a statement, which she then confirmed, and then continued to elaborate on. If she's attracted she'll do this

Later in the morning I opened cutie in a coffee shop at uni who said she worked in a lab, I correctly guessed her field is psychology since I know psychologists can't practice immediately and must do lab work in meantime. As Chase says in the article, you quickly get better at cold reading.

Better still you will never have a congruence problem because you do this in the initial approach so she won't get used to you filling in the silences with questions, instead you can add some pauses, sexual stares and tension breaking sexual innuendo. Well in theory at least, I'm only a beginner though

Nice approaches bro, keep it up.

Cheers, Ray

 

[Edd--19]

Hey Ray, thanks for the tip I've tried it out a little bit and when you do get it right it does do some interesting stuff. I'll still work on it and try and get better at cold-reading.

On the approaching that I've done, it's not been a very productive week. I realised after I said that I would get a field report up that I had 5 pieces of work to hand in so that's my fault for not checking that up. Anyway I'm still going to write this field report and it'll have to be on Friday since I've not done any approaching over the weekend for a very good reason.

So on Friday I went to a bar at the university union. The pua that I had met last week invited me their and I happily went trying to learn from him. I get there and wait for a bit and the bar seems quite quiet but it soons starts to pick up. I wait for my new friend and we meet up and we start meeting girls. He gets a lot of attention quickly (of course) and all the girls seem to love him. I start to approach and I get some unusual looks here and there, I'm not very calibrated at night game. The girls that I do open the conversations last a few lines and I can tell they aren't interested. I try and push it to see if I can get them to hook but no luck there. Fortunately my friend helps me out by introducing me to some of the friends that he's approached and I get some conversation out of it and I learn a little but it's obvious that they want him (that's cool with me, I'm happy to learn off him).

Anyway I go to the bar to get another drink and a girl positions herself right next to me. She's very cute and has that pop-punk rocker vibe which I like a lot. I open her and she's interested right away.

Me: What drink is that?

Her: It's a vodka fanta.

Me: They do those!?!?!

Her: Yeah, it's great! Very few places do them.

Me: Can I try some?

Her: Sure.

I try her drink and we get into a fun conversation about what drinks we like and other things we like. I move her outside, away from the bar, and we chat for a little while and get into a deeper conversation about what we do at the university.

Her: I do civil engineering. It was that or something like maths. I enjoy it but I don't think I could manage all of that. It would get really boring after a while and I would probably start to hate it.

Me: So what do you hope to do with civil engineering? Become an engineer or has it put you off?

Her: I'm not to sure really, I guess I would go into engineering but again I'm not certain.

The conversation continues for a bit and then I meet her friends.It's not too bad I thought they would try and cock-block me but they just want to get to know me. My girl says she's going to find her other friend and before she does I say we've got to trade numbers with some ridiculous reason. She obliges and then says that I should go with her but I say no and that I've got to check up on my friend. She tries a to convince me a bit more but I want to see how my friend is doing and also see if there are any other girls to talk to.

I walk back inside and there are now a few more pua's chatting with eachother. I get to know them a little and it turns out that they've all been studying game for about 8 years. I felt dwarved in comparison to them and the conversation I tried to have with them was non-existant. Andy (the pua I met last week) has been studying game for 4 years compared to my 1. I quickly left the conversation trying not to be a social burden and also I wanted to meet some more girls.

I meet a couple more girls but they aren't that interested in me and I get a little frustrated at how I seem to get a very small percentage of girls hooking. I head back outside to see Jenny (the girl who hooked immediately) and she's talking with some guys. I'm not too jealous about this and I just walk up and say hi. Her attention immediately focuses on me and I kiss her. We then move to a bench and she sits on my lap and we talk more about what we want out of life and what things we enjoy.

I move her again and we sit inside and we end up the majority of the time making out in the middle of the bar with some not so happy looks coming our way. Every once in a while I slipped some dirty talk in and things get more heated. After some time though she says she has to go to the toilet. She goes and I start to think that I've missed my oppurtunity with her and she's isn't coming back.

I wait 15 minutes in the chair sorting some stuff out for our house and she returns. I was slightly surprised and we start making out again. This time I'm not missing my chance. I remember her talking about being able to play piano an I know that upstairs in the union they have a piano. I suggest to her that we listen to one of the songs she can play. She says yes and we head upstairs.

We find an empty corridor and... I don't think I have to tell you what happened next .

after we finish in the corridor we head back to my place and we don't leave my room properly until 4 o'clock this afternoon. As she leaves my house she looks at me and says in an excited way "text me ".

 

[Edd--19]

Right then, I've decided that I'm not going to post for a while as I've been filling my head up with a lot of material and my head is getting clogged up a bit. This means I'm going to write a few goals down and then report back on them in a couple of weeks.

1- Have fun!

This is the most important. As I've filled my head up I've started to have less fun out in the field and I've stagnated since. I'm making this my top priority so some of my enthusiasm returns as I feel quite drained but I know that the fun will return, and my interactions are becoming more enjoyable since I've focused on enjoying myself. This ones also critical as I am supposed to lead the conversation with the girl and if I'm not having fun she won't be either.

2- Balance I's and you's

I've done this for a short time and it's paid of huge dividends. I enjoy myself more and the interaction feels less forced.

3- Tease the girl

This is also for my enjoyment and to ease the girl with the conversation that we're having. I am a lot better at teasing now and I'm sure I can expand this skill so any situation yields something a little humourous.

4- Chase Frames

This is so I push myself as I enjoy pushing my limits and seeing what I can get away with in a conversation.

5- Meet 40 girls a week

This is so my approach rate doesn't dwindle and I am still talking to enough girls that the material sinks in.

1 is the most vital and the list goes down in importance. On a short side note I have had some success as I now have a friends with benefits relationship with an incredibly cute girl! So this is me signing off for a bit and I hope to be back with lots of good news, but no guarentees as I'm sure I'm hitting a plateau at the moment. Talk soon!

 

[Edd--19]

Happy New Year!

Let me start by saying that I've been busy with approaching girls and have made a bit of progress since last posting on my journal. Onto how my approaching went yesterday.

I went to the heart of London to do some shopping and upgrade my fashion sense. Whilst there I made 5 approaches. The first girl I approached was situational and went like this:

Me: I don't ever know what to choose, I don't know how they make so much variety?

She blanked me, I stayed around a while to get used to the tension and then I left to get on with the rest of my day.

The next girl I met was in HMV and was texting, the shop was busy so I considered situational, but given that I'm much better at direct I went and approached her. She was a really good looking brunette with hair that flowed down to her shoulder and was wearing a black leather jacket that contrasted perfectly with the red tarten scarf she was wearing.

Me: Hi, I saw you standing here and I had to come and tell you that you have the coolest sense of style that I have seen all day. I'm Edd.

Her: Oh my! Thank you, but my boyfriend is right over there.

Me: Just pretend that I'm your gay friend.

Her: No I can't he's right there, he'd be furious.

She walks before I can convince her otherwise. However, when she first met me she was attracted as she was touching my arm and had the widest smile I have ever seen on a girls face.

The next girl I approached was in one of the large boot's stores in the city. She was a cute chinese girl (who looked more Japanese) and was hanging around some hello kitty merchandise on the shelves. She was chatting with some friends when I opened her.

Me: This whole shelf seems to be full of hello kitty.

Her: (she doesn't immediately realise I'm talking to her) Uh, yeah. There is a lot.

Me: I think you should get this one (I point to one of the bags).

Her: Maybe (she starts to turn her body towards me and she begins to smile).

Me: Are you Japanese? Chinese?

Her: Chinese.

Me: Okay, I'm not offending you by calling you Japanese? (Trying to do this in a teasing way but it back fires). I'm Edd.

Her: Oh, hi...

She then turns away and begins to talk to her friends again.

The next girl I open was standing on the street with her friend lighting a cigarette. I walk up to this 5'9" blonde and deliver my opening.

Me: Hey, I saw you standing here and had to come and tell you that I think you're incredibly cute. I'm Edd.

Her: That's soo sweet. I'm Jenny.

Me: Are you ou for new years' or just having fun?

Her: Out for new years'!

Me: That's cool,, is your plan to get wasted and have lots of fun or to have a calmer night?

Her: I think we were just going to go and have a bit of fun.

Me: I can see you getting over the top. Where were you planning on heading?

Her: Just to a few bars. How about you?

Me: I'm heading to see the fireworks.

Her: cool, but do you have a ticket to go and see them?

Me: I didn't realise that I had to get one until they had all been sold. So I'm planning to sneak in some how, you look like you're that type of girl.

Her: Hahaha, well we've got to go and meet our friends now, it was great to meet you.

She leaves, I knew from her first words that she wasn't that interested but I kept the conversation going for general experience for my teasing skills, which have grown.

Next girl that I meet was in tourist store. She doesn't respond and I knew she heard me so I didn't bother trying to engage her.

Things That I've gained from this is that:

- I'm relaxing much more in my conversations and not building girls up as much in conversations.
- My teasing skills have improved since my last post.
- I'm challenging girls more in conversations rather than going with what they say.

On a side note, I've got a second date with a girl I met a few weeks back and this saturday she's coming over to watch film. So hopefully this is a the start of a good new year

 

[windsofchange]

Edd, I'm liking the fact that you keep trying.

Getting used to tension is a great training exercise, one that I've tried and do so as well. Just try not to get addicted to it.

 

[Edd--19]

Hey windsofchange, thanks for the upbeat message, I'll try not to

Now that my exams have passed I can write another post instead of revising, which makes a nice change. First I'd like to note how much I've learnt since the last post I made. I've noticed a lot of problems with my game that I kind of stumbled upon whilst reading some e-books, blogs and little changes I made in my interactions with the girls I open. However, before I get into those I'm going to type up a field report.

The first girl I met today was a brunette with shoulder length hair and a really rocking fashion sense. This girl caught my eye from afar and fortunately (I assume) she didn't notice me checking her out. As she gets closer I begin to walk in her direction and call out as she's about 10 feet in front of me.

Me: Hey, I saw you walking and I had to tell you that you have the most gorgeous eyes I've seen all day. I'm Edd, What's your name?

Her: Hi, I'm Nickie.

Me: Hey Nickie, It looks like you've been on a shopping spree! And a pricey one at that!

Her: No, It's just make-up.

Me: Okay, I was going to say you must have lots of money to spend! What brings you out?

Her: No, I'm a student. I'm here to see my friends. I haven't got time, I really have to go.

Me: No, stay a moment. We're having fun

Her: Really? I'm in a rush

Me: Yeah, stay, we're having a fun conversation. You can rush in a moment. Are you creative at all?

Her: No, not really.

Me: Really, not even doodling? I'd count that.

Her: No, I study maths so not really creative.

Me: No way! I study Maths as well! I guess you're a fresher then!

Her: Yeah! But I really have to go.

Me: Cool, how about we go for a coffee later.

Her: Sure!

We trade numbers and we go on with our days. I go on and approach a few more girls and with little success. At this point I have an epiphany as I watch some other guy do day game (he was in a conversation with a girl and I assumed he was day-gaming as the girl seemed to be investing a lot into the conversation already). So I go ahead and try it.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking and I had to come and tell you that you have the coolest scarf I've seen all day. I'm Edd, what's your name?

Her: Thanks, I'm Jenny.

Me: Hey Jenny, where are you heading?

Her: I'm just off to do some shopping.

Me: You're off to Victoria's Secret, aren't you?

Her: Haha, yeah.

Me: I love that shop but I can't spend too long in there. What do you do when you're not looking for lingerie?

Her: I'm a student, I study film production.

Me: So you want to go into film, which area?

Her: Production, or maybe editing.

Me: I guess you want to be the next James Cameroon.

Her: Yeah, I guess so.

Me: So it seems you're pretty creative.

Her: Yeah.

Me: I love that!

I hug her and then quickly grab a number. She wasn't certain so I said she might as well risk it and not let a Harry Potter like chance out of her hand.

So a bit of content there but what I really wanted to get to was this.

Problems:

1- I'm not rewarding girls properly. Such as in the interactions above when they told me something about themselves (i.e. a maths student or film student, etc...) I'm not saying I like it. I first realised this when I had a conversation with a girl last week when she mentioned that she was in university and I said "that's really cool". In the past when writing these field reports I either used it as filler cause I forgot what I said exactly or I said it and it came off as I didn't mean it.

2- I'm not getting sexual fast. I noticed this when I was reading something last week and I tried it. Instead of just saying sexual things I tried to feel sexual. It ended up with me holding the waist of a girl I just met even though she later told me she had a boyfriend.

3- I never thought of this but I think I might have attainability issues. I'm not certain, however, but when I compliment a girl after my opener they seem more into me, happier and more into the conversation. Also commenting on something very specific such as a particular item of clothing works really well.

4- Conversely, when I'm meeting new girls I'm getting more into the conversation than she is. I bring the energy and I come off as trying to impress her.

To solve these are easy but calibrating myself will take time.

For 1 I'll add in an extra compliment or when I open use a very specific opener and add some variety into it. 2 is just a matter of feeling sexual and just paying attention to myself and what I want with these girls I meet. From the interaction with the girl where I was holding her waist I could tell she liked me a vast amount and was nervous at the same time (I tried to kiss her but she stopped me and then told me about her boyfriend). No. 3 is helped out with the added compliments, but I want to make sure that I have attainability issues first before I jump the gun. 4 is where I have to start acting bored in a conversation, namely I think I just have to show I'm high value and then get bored faster when I get a joke and look away more in an interaction, at the moment I mostly seem to hold eye-contact.

Mostly I've enjoyed the past couple of weeks, I'm getting a little frustrated that girls aren't hooking but I know I can get them to when I keep working on my issues. As well as that I've been trying a few new things, including openers and other little tidbits in interactions that have helped a little or given me an interesting reference point.

'Til next time

 

[Edd--19]

Over the past couple of weeks I've had some interesting things happen to me which is uplifting and making me feel like I'm slowly getting somewhere with all of this (very slowly mind). Right after my last post I started to hook girls quite quickly, however after the weekend passed my results dropped and I couldn't seem to get back to hooking like I was, even though I had hooked only several girls. What I took away from this was that I am getting closer and am so very nearly about to break through, but still have a little bit of the puzzle to put together for hooking (in my opinion). I got 3 dates with the girls who hooked quickly, one date was terrible so I dcut the date short and left after an hour. In all honesty, when I was analysing it right after, I realised that I had made some terrible blunders at the beginning which leaked through the rest of the interaction (such as trying to build rapport immediately without any repartée). One of my other dates ended in me bringing the girl home and after a lot of resistance she finally took her dress off and proceeded to give me a handjob I tried to get sex but I had exhausted myself mentally and she was very set on not having sex with me. On that date I just had fun, related to her stories, told my own and just kept moving the interaction forward. I didn't build much rapport as I lack volumes of experience but I did what I could and pushed myself mostly on relating (an area that I have a lot of difficulty in most areas of my life). The third date was yesterday and went really well; even though it didn't have an ending like the other date, I learnt more! We met at the train station and proceeded to go to a small coffee shop which serves the most incredible hot chocolate I've tasted! Here is how it went seeing as it just happened:

Me: Hey Jenny!

Her: Hey Edd!

Me: It took a while to find you, it's a little crowded around here!

Her: Yeah! (We hug, I take her hand and we start walking to the coffee shop) I didn't know where to wait.

Me: How busy has your week been?

She quickly mentions how she got a phone call from a fashion firm who wanted to talk to her about a prospective position. After that I just keep the conversation light until we get outside the coffee shop. For a bit of background, we started talking about how she makes really weird looking hats for her boss

Me: Hahaha, but I have to say, your scarf is horrible. (I said this in a teasing0 way not a serious way. I have tried implying stuff like this before with no effect so I risked it and said it outright and it paid off).

Her: Hahahahaha! That's a really rude thing to say! (she slaps me on the arm)

Me: I'm sure you'll get over it! Here we are (we go in, order our drinks and sit down). Remind me of what your degree was.

Her: I studied textiles.

Me: Okay, that makes more sense, when we met I thought you said engineering

Her: Hahaha, really?

Me: Yeah, so maybe your a textiles engineer then. Making really weird hats!

Her: Hahaha! They are awful.

Me: They sound better than you scarf (this time I touch her arm as I tease her)

Her: Stop being so rude! You're meant to be nice to girls.

Me: If you show me a manual that says that, but I'll still go against it. (Said in a joking sort of tone)

Her: Hahahahaha, so where are you from?

I proceed to avoid the question to keep some intrigue about me, she wants to know but doesn't find out. After that I tell her to move closer to my and I start to touch her leg every now and then. We proceed to share stories about why we chose to do what we're doing, she invests in me by showing me some of the accessories she made over the past few years. We talk a bit longer on a few topics but we don't ever get too deep, this is a slight issue but I think I just have to ask more poignant questions, relate more or open up myself first before getting her to open up. We proceed to flirt a little, some of the sexual things I say go down well some not so well, I guess I still have to work on subtlety. I do remember we talked about her showing me around her village park and I mention her showing me the bushes in the park and she flirted back a little . We then leave the shop, I tease her again and then I bring her close to me tell her to twirl and when she does that, I kiss her. We find another place to sit and talk a bit more:

Me: Here will do.

Her: A no smoking sign, you don't smoke do you?

Me: Do I look like a smoker?

Her: Well, how do I know? you could be.

Me: Yeah, I am I smoke a hundred a day and was really looking forward to lighting up a joint right now.

Her: Hahahaha, You still haven't told me where you're from!

Me: Next time. I have to say, you're a fun person to hang around with.

Her: You too! We have to do this again some time.

I can't remember much more of what happened at this point, we chatted a little more about a few childhood things and what we do for fun. After about 10 minutes I decide to end the date, I said I'd have invited her home to watch a film but I have plans tonight with a house dinner. She says she has work in the morning anyway (it's a 40 minute train journey for her so not certain if it's her ASD). We did touch on the topic of sex briefly and we both like the same things, such as BDSM and good sex. We head back to the train station otherwise she would have gotten lost and we kiss. As she leaves she says that we should definitely meet up again. Which is great news! I'm making a lot of ground all of a sudden (or it feels like it!).

A brief note on my approaching however, I've noticed I haven't been very skill set oriented about approaching women. I think this is a huge hinderance as it makes me very outcome oriented. I really want to change this and will try and find effective ways to build this skill quickly. The outcome independence has affected me by making me less bold in each interaction and I've noticed it. I act weak and supplicating at the very start which is very unattractive and I don't have fun. When those girls hooked I was having lots of fun and didn't care what I was saying and went on random tangents in the conversation. On the date I just typed up, I mostly focused on making myself laugh and then trying to build a connection with this girl. The scariest bit of it for me was when I first said her scarf was horrible because I thought she would leave there and then, but she didn't and after that I could say nearly anything I wanted and because I knew we were having fun it would workout alright.

Mostly, over the past few weeks I have been incredibly frustrated that I wasn't able to get what I wanted with girls. I thought I had just broken through the hook point and then it got pulled out from under me. I went a bit crazy trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, so much so that I got very dependent on solving my problem and getting specific women to receive me well. In the end I wasn't enjoying myself, forgot I was learning a skill and things got worse. It was only just before my date, yesterday, I finally got it into my head what I was doing wrong. Summed up, I still have to care. I have to care about learning the skill, not just getting certain girls. I have to learn specific things. but not be scared to f*ck up and just have fun. That's when I've had the best approaches, such as the Spanish girl, my current fuck buddy and of course my ex.

So the last bit of this post was rather an epiphany I had and I could have written so much more but you have undoubtedly read enough, and this post is already monstrous in size. So, from my epiphany I'm going to try and turn things around so I can learn faster:

1- Type up my outings when I get home. This should help solidify the learning process and speed up my learning, it also makes it harder for me to not reach my goals that I set.

2- Setting reachable goals. I've done this a little bit on here before but not consistently and the goals could be better. I learn by seeing this in action as I don't have that at the moment I'm going to try and make my goals very specific, e.g. I will say to a girl in a teasing way that I think she has the worst sense of fashion I've seen all day. This will force me to try new things and keep me excited and as I know what to say/do already I should be able to do it quickly in a conversation.

3- I've started to build my life up over the past few weeks in most aspects and I plan on creating a strong routine (read: already started/nearly finished) that I stick to so I can reduce procrastination. So here are the days I go out approaching Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The only exceptions I will make for not posting is if I'm having sex, I'm ill or incredibly hung over from the night before and have been approaching during it.

Finally, in line with number 2 I will try doing these 2 things:

1- Say to a girl that "I think she has the worst hair I've ever seen" in teasing manner.
2- Have relaxed facial expressions during a conversation (an actual conversation, i.e. longer than 30 seconds) I don't care if I'm smiling the whole time or not I just care about being relaxed.

Until next time, Edd

 

[Edd--19]

So, continuing on from Wednesday/Thursday, I approached 8 goals in total today, having had an hour and half between lectures to complete the goals I set myself. I walked into the city centre and it took me about 5-10 minutes before I started to approach. This girl rejects me straight off the bat but it doesn't matter I still have more girls I can approach. I walk around for a few more minutes before I try my second approach on a girl in Boots, she looks at me like I'm weird and carries on with her shopping. I continue to go into the shops and browse a little at the clothes (I'm planning to update my wardrobe and fashion sense this weekend to get a bit trendier). A little while later I see a cute girl walking in the opposite direction to me so I open her:

Me: Hi, I saw you walking here and I had to tell you that you have the most poignant scarf I have seen all day. I'm Edd. (I spoke slowly with some pauses)

Her: (A big smile on her face) Thanks! I'm Nicole, it's from portugal. (We "shake" hands and I make my voice a little deeper and close my body language a little)

Me: That's really great. But it doesn't get cold in portugal... (At this point a guy selling joke books interupts the conversation, it took me a little by surprise but the way I had handled it lost me the girl. I broke circle, stood there unsure what to do next, and she made an excuse and left.)

That interaction had me kicking myself a bit, but I knew from the beginning of the conversation that she was interested. However, I lost it by rewarding her for putting in no effort into the conversation ("that's really great"), as well as breaking circle and losing control of the interaction.

The next girl I approach was inside a shopping centre, I go over to approach her when she's about 10 ft away from me. From the start I didn't know whether she was interested in me or not, I'm going to assume she tested me and that I failed her test.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking here and I had to come and tell you that you're wearing the coolest t-shirt I've seen all day. I'm Edd.

Her: What?

I repeat the last half of my opener, which was a huge mistake. I'm sure I used a loud enough voice, and I rarely see this problem so during the conversation I assumed she tested me and I failed.

Me: What's your name?

Her: Natasha.

Me: Hi Natasha. (I extend my hand and she complies) What brings you out today?

Her: I'm just shopping.

Me: What for?

Her: Nothing in particular, really.

Me: Just window shopping then?

Her: Yeah, pretty much.

Me: Window shopping is pretty fun, you end up buying things you never would have thought, kind of like pop-tarts. (I point to an American store)

Her: Haha, yeah I guess. (I can't remember precisely what she said but we got back a bit more onto clothes)

Me: Even though, I think you have the worst hair I have seen all day. (As I say this I smile, say it in a teasing way and turn my body away a little bit)

Her: Haha, yeah it does look really bad.

I freeze, I didn't know how to carry on this conversation and she left from the tension. On the bright side I was able to complete my goals I set for the day (I made sure I was enjoying myself and didn't feel tense). As well as completing my goals the girl didn't take the joke too badly, it may have been an abrasive attempt, but it's a good start I can build on. On a side note, I didn't balance my I's and you's and didn't reward her for putting in effort into the conversation (just saying okay at the start every other time would have been good, I think). I struggled to find a way to remove the tension in the conversation and it caused her to leave. One final note about the test at the start, I'm not sure if it helped but after I repeated myself I gave her a long pause before carrying on, just trying to do some damage control .

The next 3 approaches were fun, I didn't get anywhere major into them, mostly 30 seconds. One girl smiled at me and then left quickly, another girl said that I had opened her before and was smiling before she told me that she had a boyfriend and the last approach I want to discuss (by the way the smiles were warm and not polite). The girl was walking the same direction as me and I decided to open her, by the time she realised she was being approached she was slightly in front of me but she stopped and was quite happy to see me there.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking and had to tell you that you have the coolest scarf I've seen. I'm Edd.

Her: Hi, I'm Anna.

Me: Hi Anna (I extend my hand, she meets me halfway. I also have forgotten the rest of this interaction except the part where she tests me and I try to move her).

Her: Do you do this often? Stopping girls in the middle of the day?

Me: Why are you flirting with guys so much in the middle of the day? Let's talk over here and get out of the way.

Her: I'm meant to be meeting my friend in a minute (She isn't completely out of the interaction so I try and persist).

Me: We'll be a minute and your friend can wait for that long.

She hesitates but she decides to leave. Overall there was a fair bit to learn, it also felt good to push past the fear of saying something that could have gone terribly.

My goals for tomorrow are:

1- Tease a girl by starting a sentence "I don't think I'd be able to trust you..."
2- Change my body position to semi-open (i.e. don't be facing her directly).

 

[ray_zorse]

LOL sounds like you're having a good time in doing this approaching Loved the horrible scarf... as to the horrible hair I would have followed it up with "haha wasn't serious, just teasing you"... I tend to use this quite a lot to retreat if gone OTT, they seem to receive it well, especially coupled with an arm touch, warm eye contact and a warm tone. Nice work on the handjob, I could use a bit of that action. Anyway, you seem to be doing a good job of spiking attraction, taking notes.
Ray

 

[Edd--19]

I had a really fun day today. I spent the first hour and a half getting ready for the day as well as reading articles on fashion and some journals (talking about you Ray you've got some good stuff going on). I head to the city centre straight from my house and get there a little after midday. The streets are packed with people; being the last week of half term I'm not surprised. I ended the day with 14 approaches with 1 number (more certain she's going to flake) and a bit of a lesson to take away from today. Anyway, it takes me about 10-15 minutes to make my first approach. I get completely ignored by her (I count it as I find once I've made one approach the rest are a hundred times easier!). Second girl I go to meet looks at me in a jarring way, no success there. The third girl I have a short conversation with, but she leaves quickly. The third girl sums up the majority of the approaches, where the girls leave pretty quickly if they talk to me. I did have a very good interaction near the end and I had a couple of terrible ones. I'll try and remember these conversations as best as I can.

Good interaction: This isn't the girl I got the number from because that interaction was much like the other conversations I had. The conversation was tense and boring. However this one felt more relaxed and flowed much more naturally. Fortunately, I remember what the difference was and I'm going to continue to do it.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking here and I had to tell you that you are the prettiest girl I've seen all day. I'm Edd

She's completely surprised by this and it takes a moment for her to respond (I had just turned a corner and she was there so I opened her).

Her: Oh, err, hi.

Me: What's your name?

Her: Katie.

Me: Hi Katie (I extend my hand, she doesn't take it). You know my hands going to dangle here like a christmas decoration (said in a fun way, she then takes it).

Her: You took me completely by surprise.

I can't remember too much after this sentence was said but we get onto the topic of what we're doing here.

Me: So what brings you here?

Her: I'm just here shopping.

Me: Cool, what for? (she hesitates a bit) Is it something I'm not allowed to know about like lingerie?

Yeah, I can't remember too much of that conversation but, from the atmosphere of it, it was much more successful than all my previous approaches and conversations. All I did differently was continue to smile when in the conversation. I noticed that after I had opened my smile would vanish and tension would creep into the interaction and it becomes very difficult to remove it with words. So smiling is very, very important (and I'm under-using the word very here)! On to another conversation.

Worst Interaction: This was the worst interaction because I did so many things wrong. I picked up on the main 2 I feel hindered me but I'm certain there's more.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking here and I had to come and tell you that you have the coolest shoes on I've seen all day. I'm Edd.

Her: Hi.

Me: What's your name?

Her: I'm Catherine.

Me: Hi Catherine (she takes my hand when I extend mine). What brings you here today?

Her: I'm just heading home.

Me: This is your home? (Yeah, this was a bad way to make things fun, to purposefully mis-interpret her)

Her: No, not here, my car is in the car park and I'm about to go home. This is strange, I never get spoken like this by a stranger.

Me: It's fun and different. Everybody lives their lives doing the same routine, so why not break routine. Are you adventurous? Or do you stick with your routine?

Her: No, I'm not adventurous. Me and my husband work most of the time.

Me: Where did you go on your honeymoon?

Her: (An island off the italian coast).

Me: How long have you been married for?

Her: 12 years.

Me: Cool, (I say something that leads us onto fashion). I wouldn't trust going you going shopping with me, you might dress me up like Paris Hilton's Chihuahua. (We both laugh briefly and the tension returns).

The conversation goes on for a little while longer and still feels awkward. I can tell she's there just to be polite but her patience wears thin and I sense it, so I let her get on with her day. In this conversation I completely forgot to smile and we both had closed body language (even though that was my aim for today). What I also did in this conversation like I've done in so many others is try and force rapport too early and too forcibly. It causes a total backfire on what I want to achieve. Instead I think I'm going to try taking a slightly different route to getting good interactions with girls I've just met (and anyone for that matter). This leads me nicely onto my goals for tomorrow.

1- Smile during and after delivering my opener. Continue to smile throughout the beginning phase of the interaction.

2- Don't try and force rapport, instead try taking random tangents at the start off the conversation and balance the I's and you's at the start.

I know I keep changing my goals each day, but I'm going for bredth rather than depth at the moment so I can find the really big thing holding me back. Then I'm going to focus on that. I also completed all of my goals that I set today, as well as using the teasing phrase 3 times in different conversations, I still forgot to touch their arms but that can easily be worked in.

Lastly, after I finished approaching I went shopping for a little bit and completely updated my fashion sense thanks to Sexy Style for Joe (here's the article I used http://sexystyleforjoe.com/how-to-wear-colors/ it's ridiculously packed!) I ended up spending just under £450 but I think it was worth it for the items I got, and I knew they looked good instead of guessing like I tend to do when shopping. I'll field test them and if I get complimented they can stay.

 

[Edd--19]

I didn't post yesterday cause I got booty called on Saturday night. She came over and ended up staying the night. I tried to get her to leave but she wanted to stay and persuaded me with sex; I couldn't say no for that long and we stayed in bed for the rest of the day. I did however manage to organise a second date with the scarf girl. Throughout texting her I persisted in trying to get her to come over to mine on Friday but she felt that she doesn't know me that well. I'll type the texts down in a sec. I had a brief read over an old post of Chase's, "Are you trying too hard?" (https://www.girlschase.com/content/...chase&utm_medium=sidebar&utm_campaign=sidebar) and wondered whether this was my problem. I can ask for feedback from girls I approach to find this out.

Me: Hey Jenny, I thought you'd like to know I'm making delicious hot chocolate right now... Don't let the green eyed monster take over (3:09 pm Wednesday)

Her: Well I had possibly the nicest homemade lasagne for my dinner so I think we're even haha x (3:29 pm)

Me: I thought you couldn't cook lasagne, looks like you're going to have to show me, is next week good for you? (5:07 pm Thursday)

Her: Could be interesting as I can't cook it, the hat place I work provides home cooked dinners. Could do Tuesday at I think 3, same time again on Wed or Friday x (5:15 pm)

Me: Friday is the best for me, and if you can find a good lasagne recipe that would be great! (6:51 pm)

Her: Yeah, Fridays easiest for me too, why do you need a lasagne recipe? x (7:00 pm)

Me: It's a very good dish for dinner, have you got other ideas for food? Besides I don't like the idea of you getting me drunk (I was referencing something that we joked about during our date, about her trying to get me drunk) (10:36 pm)

Her: What? I feel like I've missed something here x (10:52 pm)

Me: How's this, next Friday, we meet have a drink and watch a film x (8:01 pm Friday)

Her: At your house? I barely know you, you could be some weitdo who wants to put me in a pit and make a suit out of my skin haha x (8:14 pm)

Me: You've watched too many horror films my preference is using 100 jars of Nutella and gorge ourselves off the chocolate x (I assumed she was testing me and wanted to see how much I could get away with) (11:32 am Saturday)

Her: The film sounded nice tho, just maybe not a horror haha x (12:32 pm)

Me: You got my hopes up with those Nutella jars, aren't you the tease I'm sure we can find something we both enjoy x (2:57 pm)

Her: I'd like to point out I'm still not coming to your house stranger danger haha x (3:30 pm)

Me: Get your mind out of the gutter I'm talking about watching a film x (I assume she's testing me again, as she doesn't have any non-verbals to go by I thought this is how women tested over text; they do it a bit more than they would in person) (5:32 pm)

Her: It does sound nice but I'm still not oing round your house, is there anything else you fancy doing? x (5:53 pm)

Me: What is it with you and trying to come round? I do have feelings you know (6:39 pm)

Her: So what do you fancy doing on Friday? x (7:06 pm)

Me: Well, I'm a bit low on cash so we can cook lasagne x (7:28 pm)

Her: You seem quite keen on cooking this lasagne, are you a good chef? x (Trying to get me to qualify myself to her) (7:51 pm)

Me: We'll find out won't we just make sure you find a good recipe for us to use x (8:08 pm)

Her: Well don't be too disappointed if it's not as good as the one I had the other day, it was pretty delicious x (8:46 pm)

Me: As long as it's edible we'll get som eingredients and then we'll cook it, is that good with you? x (9:10 pm)

Her: See I was going to suggest cooking it then getting the ingredients but we can try it your way haha I like how you're assuming I'm ok with going round yours x (9:23 pm)

Me: That sounds lik an unusual way of cooking... You must be getting lost in the recipe We can get the ingredients and in town and get a taxi back x (10:00 pm)

Her: You get that I'm not actually ok with going round yours? It's not some weird nothern flirting thing, I'm genuinely not ok with it when we hardly know each other x (9:20 am Sunday)

Her: Like, I still want to see you again, I had a really fun time last week, I just want to get to know you a bit better before you bring me back to you lair haha x (7:50 pm)

Me: Sorry for the late reply, had to comfort a friend this weekend. If you keep saying things like that then silence of the lambs won't ever leave your head (9:03 am Monday)

Her: Aw, hope everything's alright. We ok going somewhere else? x (9:55 am)

Me: Let's try this, we go out into town and get to know each other more, if you feel more comfortable we can watch a film/ make lasagne x (11:40 am)

Her: That sounds lovely x (11:56 am)

I guess in the end she wasn't trying to test me or me explicitly saying that we were going back to mine put up more resistance. I noted that I started to use x's more frequently and I didn't use them as a rewarding mechanism. I'm not sure what else I can work on in my texting, I could try to write a little less and just text to set up dates (I've tried this but I decided to learn how to send more attention-grabbing texts and then tone it down).

Edit: I still have my goals that I set for yesterday to complete, I'm going out tomorrow to achieve them! Here they are again:


1- Smile during and after delivering my opener. Continue to smile throughout the beginning phase of the interaction.

2- Don't try and force rapport, instead try taking random tangents at the start off the conversation and balance the I's and you's at the start.

 

[Edd--19]

I had a rather enjoyable day out today. It started with the usual, get up, go to uni etc. and then I head to the city centre as usual at about midday. I wasn't looking forward to approaching today, I don't know why but I didn't feel like socialising (I think I was tired). I get into town and walk around for a bit doing nothing substantial. It takes me about 10 minutes before my first approach and the girl ignored me. I approached another girl but she had already walked past me and her momentum kept her going, so I got rejected. The third girl stopped when I opened her, I focused my energy on smiling and not getting into rapport and enjoying the reparteé stage. This worked a dream, she didn't stay for long but her reaction to me was completely different to other girls' reactions in the past when I jumped immediately into rapport. All the other girls I approach today act warm to me and talk to me for a little bit (except one I think). By the time I decided I had to get some work done I had 10 approaches from, roughly, an hour and 40 minutes on a really quiet day. I also chose to talk to different people other than girls I was interested in and this helped my social momentum and gave me some experience in flirting (when with female shop assisstants). I'm stuggling to remember the interactions but I'll try and write a few detailed ones down:

Best approach: This was a girl that I noticed walking beside me as she was overtaking me. I just went for it and tried to make it as fun for me as possible.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking just now and had to tell you that you have a really cool scarf. I'm Edd.

Her: I'm Natasha.

Me: Hi Natasha, how's your day going?

Her: Well, I'm just at uni.

Me: This is your university (gesture to the shopping centre).

Her: Haha, no, I'm shopping and then going back, are you a student?

Me: Yeah, what do you study?

Her: Law, what about you?

Me: Take a guess?

Her: I don't know!

Me: Okay, here's a hint, it's science-y.

Her: Chemistry?

Me: No, I study Maths (forgot to reward her for compliance, my body language remains semi open). What are you shopping for? (I decide to move back a little as I want to learn how to banter more effectively)

Her: Just some white t-shirts for going out tonight.

Me: Are those for the rubiks cube night?

Her: Yeah! I'm also going to buy a present... but I have to be going, are you going this way?

Me: Yeah. (Didn't take the lead and say "lets go")

Her: Why don't we walk this way.

Me: Sure, what are you thinking of getting her? I think some lingerie would make a good present.

Her: Haha, I'm not sure I'll get her those maybe something like...

By this point we had reached the shop (it was a very short walk) and she said bye to me. I suggested that we meet up for a coffee but she said she had a boyfriend. I don't think I deserve the number when I failed to lead (and not going into rapport didn't help, maybe). I have read on another site that rapport should be started when the other person (i.e. the girl) starts trying to build rapport. At this point you qualify and then build rapport. I'll have to field test this sometime in the future but first let's get this down. Other comments about this interaction are that it had a very relaxed vibe from the off, I was smiling like I wanted to and by not forcing rapport too soon the conversation flowed much easier. I had semi-open body language towards her but I never gave her anymore than that (my arms were crossed, shoulders turned away from her slightly but smiling), this should be used to reward girls when they do/say something I like. We weren't standing very close to each other but enough to get a touch or 2 in, she also moved closer to me when I told her to.

Worst Approach:

Me: Hi, I just saw you now and had to tell you that you're incredibly cute. I'm Edd.

Her: Hi, I'm Danielle.

Me: Hi Danielle, How's your day going?

She doesn't really put anything into the conversation. I quickly leave and try to figure out what I did wrong. I smiled throughout and tried to be fun but there wasn't much of an oppurtunity and if there was I missed it. Either she wasn't interested into me and was being polite or she was interested and I messed up at the very beginning. This seems to happen quite regularly to very rarely so I'm not sure what to think. It might be to do with my fundamentals, most likely my voice I think is the cause; I sometimes catch myself using a higher pitched tonality when opening but not that often.

All my other approaches were in between these 2 and I had a good time just focusing on reparteé, I tried to tease in some of the interactions but they came off more as general jokes, which isn't too bad, it means progress is being made.

For tomorrow:

1- Smile throughout interaction and slowly increase the openess of my body language.

2- Focus on reparteé and having a good time.

 

[Edd--19]

Another 10 girls approached today. It didn't take long to get started as the first girl I spoke to was in a lecture. It was a good interaction and I teased her a little bit but it didn't get any farther than that. After leaving the lecture I headed back into the city centre to meet some more girls and feeling a little bit more social after having a successful conversation with a cute girl. I get into the city centre and almost immediately I approach this girl walking the opposite direction from me. She ignores me, I move onto find another girl. The next girl I meet is warm to me and chats for a little bit before going, I'm definitely getting better reactions (warmer reactions being the result I want at the moment). The other girls that I opened were warm to me and I had a good time in the conversations and so did they. Here are the best and the worst interactions that I had.

Best Approach: this girl was walking back to work and had 10 minutes left on her lunch break so I had to move really fast to make this work.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking and I had to come and tell you that you have the coolest coat I have seen. I'm Edd.

Her: Hi, I'm Abbie.

Me: Hi Abbie (we hold hands briefly). How's your day going?

Her: I'm in a bit of a rush I have to go back to work in 10 minutes.

Me: I can see you work at office (I point to her lanyard). I got these shoes from office (I show her my shoes) I like them a lot.

Her: Yeah, they're very nice.

Me: That's the kindest thing anyone has said to me today, come here (We hug).

From this I know she likes me. I forget to move her but, in hindsight, when I try to move girls who are time constrained it causes them to leave. I forget the next bit of the conversation (it's a little bit of teasing) and we get onto food briefly.

Me: I love lasagne, it's my favorite. There's just something about Italian food thats really good!

Her: Italian food is my favorite! (Qualifying herself)

Me: That's great!

Her: Thai food is my favorite though (she did say this).

Me: Cool, have you ever been to Thailand?

Her: No, but I really want to travel but it's really expensive and I don't have the money.

Me: I love adventurous girls! (We hug again) I like you, you're fun to talk to let's meet up sometime when you're less rushed.

Her: Sure, if you take my number.

She puts her number in my phone and I hug one last time before letting her get back to the shoe store. I think that out of all my interactions I've ever had since learning seduction this is one of the best approaches I've ever made. During the conversation I noticed so many little nuances that I would never have picked up on before, such as her qualifying herself, finding a good time to take her number and so on. I'm sure I teased her briefly but I can't remember as all the interactions are blurring into one at the moment from trying to enjoy the moment. I'm enjoying that I can see more of an interaction but I feel like I'm still missing little bits or it's just a lack of experience (everything seems to happen fast when I notice it). On the flip side, I get very strong reactions off of women that I don't approach and just happen upon (where we meet without the intention of me trying to use them as practice).

Worst Interaction: This was the interaction that held the most tension, fortunately I stuck to what I'm trying to learn and didn't make it worse by trying to force rapport too soon, oh, and don't forget smiling helped as well!

Me: Hi, I saw you walking here and had to come and tell you that you have the most gorgeous scarf I've seen all day. I'm Edd.

Her: Hi, I'm Mandy.

Me: Hi Mandy (We touch hands for a moment). How's your day going?

Her: Well, I'm just shopping.

I'm really struggling to remember this, but I did make some notes after we finished our conversation. Firstly the conversation was dry, I managed to tease her/ make a joke but it didn't help relieve the tension. I was trying very hard to find some way to make the conversation work (using words) but I was unsuccessful and we only ever stayed surface level. We only had a little bit of small talk but it fizzled out fast and I was doing most of the talking. My body language was semi-closed with folded arms and a smile (not sexy, I have to work on that). Overall, I think the main problem was that she wasn't that attracted to me, or she was but I lost her at some point. I noted that I wasn't abiding by tLoLE and by doing most of the talking I lost her attraction. Next time this comes around (and I've done a bit of this) I'm going to try and ask her a question about herself and then if she gives an answer that doesn't progress the conversation I can look away and pull a bored look. This has helped re-engage girls in the past but it doesn't last much longer when they do.

So from this post an today's approaching I've realised I have several things to work on:

- Sexy smiling (I have practised this a little bit in the mirror but I'm not confident/ certain I can pull it off all the time).
- Bored look (attempting to re-engage girls or they say something that I don't like).
- Use less effort in conversations by using non-verbals (essentially this post https://www.girlschase.com/content/nonverbal-attraction-and-getting-girls-without-words).
- Use more reparteé devices in conversations (push pull, chase framing etc...)

My goals for Fridays outing are as follows:

1- Have fun and focus on reparteé (smiling, being higher energy, semi open body language...)
2- Use 3 push pulls and touch at the same time (such as "I like you, you're cool, but don't get any ideas, I'm not easy")

 

[Edd--19]

14 girls approached today as well as 1 date. I started quite quickly and had just under 2 hours to get in as many approaches as I could (13 in those 2 hours and then 1 after my date). I got 2 numbers in the end and one of those interactions went really well. I completed all the goals I had set myself and generally had a good time. Okay so my best approach went like this:

Me: Hi, I saw you walking here and I had to tell you that you are incredibly cute. I'm Edd. (When I said this my voice started a little deeper than usual and as soon as I said hi her eyes lit up).

Her: Hi, I'm Steph.

Me: Hi Steph (I extned my hand, she takes it). How's your day going?

Her: Really well! I've just finished work early.

Me: That' cool, I guess you're shopping now.

Her: Yeah, just getting a few bits.

Me: (Forgotten what I said but it links with shopping). That's where I got this scarf from.

Her: It's a nice scarf.

Okay, so I can't remember how the exact conversation went but I know that we bantered for a bit, I teased and push-pulled her quite a bit and then progressed to qualify her on how adventuruous she is. She qualifies herself and I give her a hug for it. I then give a short story about my childhood to build some rapport and then ask about hers, she opens up and tells twice as much as me. I then suggest we meet up for a drink and we trade number, we banter a little more and then we continue with our days. I remember that the slightly deeper voice I used to open helped a lot (I'll have to work on this as well). The semi open body language has to start open, then progress to semi open and then progress to open again when as a reward and so on. I think that if I want girls to compliment me I have to get them to notice something specific about me or I'm not as attractive as I think. Sharing a story first and then asking a girl about her past is better than trying to get her to open up first. I used to much energy talking and this conflicts with tLoLE and I can easily cut this down (I even started on my date, I just stayed quiet and she kept filling the silence). My structure/process for approaching looks like this at the moment (very simplified version). Approach -> Banter -> Move -> Banter -> Qualify -> Deep Dive lightly -> Banter -> Number -> Banter -> Leave. Very simple but it seems to work and with a fun attitude.

Worst Interaction: In essence I forgot everything I was trying to do. I was trying to be fun but I forgot what I was going to say which lead me to say that I had forgotten what to say and me holding up a conversation that was never going to go well from then on. The girl stayed around because of politeness and I let her leave as this wasn't happening for me.

Very brief report today but I came in very late and none of this is fresh. The date went well, I didn't sleep with her (I have a feeling that she wants me as a boyfriend). The start of the date was a little awkward as I wasn't sure what to talk about. I then switched tactic quickly and just didn't bother trying to talk and let her do the talking instead. She perked up immediately. I focused on getting better at my deep diving by trying to find out good ways to find out more. One useful technique is to stay quiet and only talk when it is absolutely necessary otherwise I just nodded my head and smiled. I found out lots of things and eventually I tried to bring her home, it wasn't happening. We continued to talk and eventually we started to discuss sex and partners. Turns out she's only had one lover before (which is probably why things aren't going to fast, that and my experience level). We end up discussing sex for the rest of the date nearly, but still no success in getting her to come over. Eventually she had to catch the train home and now I plan to set up a third date to sleep with her.

Here are my goals for tomorrow:

1- Be higher energy and use a deeper (rapport neutral) voice when opening.
2- 3 push-pulls with touch

I also want to reduce the effort I expend so I'll be keeping an eye on that but for the moment I don't want to overload myself with lots of different things to remember.

Finally 2 nights ago I wrote down all the things I wanted to improve on (fundamentals and getting to the hook point consistently) and I'm putting them down here. The ones in bold are the ones I am currently working on.

Fundamentals to Work On:

Voice:
- Slower Speech
- Deeper Voice
- Purr in Voice
- Bounce in Voice
- Pregnant Pauses
- Louder Voice
Walk:
- Longer Strides (surprisingly doing this makes everyone move out of your way regardless, I've tried it and it works and women are more attracted when they see me!)
- Wider Strides
- Shoulder Movements
- Relaxed Posture
- Slower Walk
Posture:
- Relaxed Posture
- Chin Parallel to Ground
- Slower Movements
- Facial Expressions (Sexy Smile, Bored Smile etc…)
Fashion:
- Better Fitting Clothes
- Co-ordinating Colours (sexystyleforjoe.com)
- Selecting Sexy Clothes and Hair Styles

Solving Issues in Interactions with Women:
- Banter more at the beginning to relieve tension/show high value
- Semi-open body language that progresses to open as a reward
- Use touch more often and use as a reward
- Use Chase-Frames
- Use Push-Pull’s
- Qualify before entering into rapport
- Open up first during the rapport phase with women
- Give off a more sexy vibe at the start of the interaction
- Get in closer to the girl (not too close at the start)
- Reward girls for any self-qualifying/relating/opening up/interest
- Abide by the law of least effort as much as possible (exchange verbal for non-verbal communication)
- Use sexy smile instead of “nice-guy” smile

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey mate instead of "how's your day going?" which is a kind of a non-question that puts pressure on her to put in effort and think of something to say... try "what kind of a day have you had until now?" or "how did you come to be here on this street corner today?" or "what were you doing before you came here?"... although when you think about it, you can often answer those questions yourself by what she's carrying etc (the art of the cold read), this really helps to get things moving. So I might say something like "what kind of a day have you had until now, you were meeting some friends or just shopping etc?". Great approaching though.
-Ray

 

[Edd--19]

Today did not go well. I approached 9 girls and got rejected by all but one at the start of the conversation. This didn't help my energy levels as I was already drained from the past couple of days. All in all I struggled today and didn't complete my goals for the day other than keeping my voice deep at the start of an interaction. The one conversation I did have was quite good, but the girl had just broke something in a shop and was trying to escape having to pay for it. At least that made me laugh for a while. Breaking it all down I think I had to relax or just take myself away from it all today, this rarely happens so I'm taking it as a one off experience. Besides I stuck in there and approached 9 girls when I didn't even want to meet 1.

 

[Edd--19]

After yesterdays mishap I was determined to get my goals completed. So I set off and start trying to approach as soon as possible. The volume of people is low, and 99% of all the people are in groups or in couples. It takes me a while to get started but I do approach within the first 15 minutes of being there. The first few approaches don't yield many results, the first girls' momentum carried her from the conversation. The second girl I had a good interaction with but I forgot to reward her effort by giving her attention (with my body language) and she left. The third girl couldn't stop as she was late for work. At this point I decided that as there are so few single girls on the street I might as well try in the shops and use situational openers instead. I open a make-up assisstant and we talk for at least 10 minutes. The interaction goes like this:

Me: Hi, can you make me look pretty?

Her: Hahaha, I can.

Me: Cool, I wasn't in a good mood so I thought I'd talk to you to make me feel better.

Her: Well you've made my day for sure!

We talk about all the crazy stuff on her station and I tease and push-pull her. This goes on for a couple of minutes until I sense that we should get into rapport, so I stick to my process and I move into screening her. She's already given me some information to work with and I use it to set up a screen.

Me: Wow, there's lots of stuff here, if I were in your shoes I'd have a miniature adventure with all of these things! I love going on adventures and trying something a bit different. Do you get what I mean?

Her: Yeah!

Me: That's cool, I love meeting people who want to try new things!

I then head into rapport and discover that she's writing a psychological thriller, however at this point I decide to make a joke to keep the conversation light instead of pursuing the reasons why she decided to write it. I do a little more deep diving and make sure that I don't say anything and just nod my head and smile occaisionally. She keeps talking to fill the potential silence. However at one point in the conversation when she asks me what I study she disqualifies herself by continuoIusly going on about how she can't do maths. I forget to thread cut this immediately but I do manage it eventually. I decided against getting her number in the end. This interaction and another one I had later on (where I got the girls number) has made me realise that I'm starting to see the conversational nuances. Ever since last week, where I've constantly posted, I've made a fair amount of progress in a short span of time. I still have some trouble hooking but the conversations seem easier to navigate now, and I'm putting in less effort than before as well.

I still struggle with girls who don't know how to react to my approach. Such as the nervous girls who just aren't sure and don't put any effort into the interactions. For example this girl:

Me: Hi, I saw you walking here and I had to come and tell you that you are the cutest girl I've met all day. I'm Edd.

Her: Hi. (Nervous laughter)

Me: What's your name?

Her: Caroline.

Me: What have you done today?

Her: Just a little shopping.

Me: It looks like your having a huge shopping spree (said in a teasing way, she has no bags on her).

Her: No, I'm just returning some items.

Me: Okay, and then you're off shopping. I enjoy it, I see these clothes (point to window) and I just want to go and buy them, it's kind of like an impulse.

Her: Yeah.

A long pause happens here and I decide to ask her what she does in the city. She answers it but the tesion is really high now and I can tell she's losing interest fast. In the end I can't keep her in the conversation and she leaves. Writing this down I have an idea that I have put too much effort into keeping the conversation alive and she hasn't put anything into it. Hence the tension. To solve this issue I'm going to try not talking and getting her to put some effort into the conversation. I also noted that her body language wasn't towards me but similar to mine (body turned away slightly and she had her arms crossed but I could tell she was interested). So to get these girls investing in the conversation I'll try to get them to ask questions about me. I tried teasing her to diffuse the tension but it didn't work (it hasn't gone well in the past either).

I've progressed a lot in a short period of time. I can see the progress since I properly started approaching (mid-June) and I'm rather amased by it all. I can see roughly where I am in an interaction. Girls are warm when I approach them. I can relax and have fun approaching. I can tease! I'm getting better at flirting. I'm slowly becoming more socially adroit and many other traits.

Anyway, here are my goals for Tuesday:

1- 3 push-pulls with touch
2- Attempt to use non-verbal language instead of verbal language where ever possible

 

[Edd--19]

I'm really confused now, cause I thought I was tackling the correct things with all of my goals but I've had a couple of unusual interactions today that resonate with some past experiences and have made me consider that I have attainability issues. This explains the residual tension after I've approached (usually with a more generic compliment) cause it has happened today and I know that I was smiling and my body language was not dismissive nor chasing. Here are the interactions that I had which are making me think this:

Me: Hi, I saw you walking here and I had to come and tell you that you're the cutest girl I've seen all day. (Generic Compliment, I had my body turned nearly perpendicular to her and I smile, I look away briefly when I give the compliment (which happened a lot today))

Her: (Her body language instantly becomes closed, crossed arms no smile and she isn't facing me either) Well, that's a weird thing to say.

Me: (I cross both my arms and turn away a little more) Nah, it's fun. (Pause, I look away a lot during this part but my eyes aren't darting) I thought you where a cool and comfortable person.

Her: I'm sorry I didn't live up to your expectations. (She's auto-rejecting me at this point, I can hear it in her voice tone, and her body language isn't looking great either...)

Me: (I open up my body language and decide to face her directly) Well, I'm Edd and I have to say that you have a really cool scarf. I like how it gets darker as it gets nearer the end.

Her: (Her body language now completely opens up, and she smiles!) Thanks, it matches yours. (Hers and my previous line were almost said at the same time)

I go onto ask her what she does, and she is actively trying to get to know me, what I do, where I come from. Unfortunately I mess up, I haven't built up enough social momentum and even though she's into me I lose her cause I couldn't move the conversation forward and teased/chase framed her about her scarf (which I had done a few times by this point) and she left immediately saying "whatever...". This left me utterly stunned. So, it might be an isolated incident (this is the only explicit one I've ever had). However, thinking back along some past conversations, sometimes I've given a generic compliment and there is this awkwardness in the air. The girl stays in the conversation but the tension just doesn't release, and I'm starting to think it's because I'm not managing my attainability.

Another interaction (I'm not going to write it up as it was really short because I wanted to figure out what was going on) went like this. I open her with a genuine compliment about her scarf, I tease her briefly and the silence builds up. Now, disregarding my goal to use less words and more non verbals (by accident), I qualify her on shopping by saying that when I was younger I had to wait for hours and now I don't like it, she immediately qualified herself to this. I walk away at this point completely confused by the results I'm seeing. Now maybe she actually was that kind of girl but from how she looked (well dressed and obvious beauty treatment) I didn't believe it. Again this could be a one off and me reading way too far into it.

One other reason that I believe attainability is an issue at the moment is of this interaction:

Me: Hi, I saw you walking and I had to come and tell you that you have the most poignant sense of style I have seen all day. I'm Edd. (Slightly turned away, smiling)

Her: (Cheery smile on her face and upbeat voice tone) Thanks, I'm Diane.

Me: Hi Diane, I like the hat, where's it from? (Compliment number 2 and she is quite happy and engaged)

Her: It was a present.

Me: Cool, the coat really brings out your eyes.

Her: (Starting to edge away and ready to leave the conversation) Thanks!

I give her another compliment and she leaves. So there I was too attainable and in the first conversation I was too unattainable, from what I'm suggesting here. This attainability stuff really is perplexing, you think its value for so long and turns out you were completely wrong! But right now its a theory that I'm going to field test and find if the awkwardness dissipates (or reduces) so that the girl can relax a little and not worry about it being a show (which I get asked about some of the time).

All my other approaches either didn't stop for me or I couldn't keep them around due to the lack of my social momentum (I approached 11 girls and just had an off day, I guess).

I didn't complete my goals however, I got a little side-tracked... but here's the next 2:

1- 3 Push pulls with touch ("I like you but don't get any ideas, I'm not easy")

2- Hold eye contact and avoid talking when necessary.

 

[Edd--19]

I've been offline for a few days for a couple of reasons, firstly I spent way too much time with my booty call on Tuesday night and missed Wednesday. I had my third date yesterday with Jenny and that didn't go as planned and I only met 4 girls as well (no numbers) as for today I met 5 girls and got 1 number. Not too great today but I'm sure it's just a bad day. I started today trying to get out of an untalkative mood and I really struggled to do this, I didn't interact with anyone other than the girl I was interested in so I should talk to anyone who arouses my curiosity to build my social momentum. Anyway, I started off about 15 minutes into getting to the centre of a busy city and approach this incredibly hot girl, if I'm going to start might as well try this girl.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking here and I had to come and tell you that you have the greatest sense of style that I have seen all day, I'm Edd. (I open her facing and then slgihtly angle myself away from her, I stay like this until I move her)

Her: Thanks. (I pause waiting for her to tell me her name) I'm Suzie.

Me: Hey Suzie (I extend my hand and she takes it), how's your day going?

Her: It's going well, I've just come back from a night out in Durham. (I give a quizzical look) I was visiting my sister who studies there.

Me: Okay, and you've ust gone to the gym? (she had a gym bag round her arm so I thought she had come back and gone straight there)

Her: No, it's all the clothes I had taken with me.

Me: So you're a bit of a diva then (lightly teasing her on how much she's taken with her, I also touch her arm).

Her: Haha, do you study at the university?

Me: Yeah, do you? (These next few questions I don't build any intrigue I try a little but don't succeed)

Her: Yeah.

Me: Cool, what do you study?

Her: Sociology, what about you?

Me: Something a little different.

Her: What?

Me: Maths.

Her: Really?!? Do you like it?

Me: Yeah, I love it! Let's talk over here so we aren't in everyone's way.

Her: I really have to go, I have a hair appointment and this is really heavy.

Me: Stay a little longer, we'll be just there, you can put your bag down and we'll only be a minute.

Her: Okay. (I waited for her reply, in the future I should just start moving as I'm talking)

Me: (I lean against the wall and she stands opposite me, I'm still slightly turned away and she's facing me fully but arms crossed) What got you into Sociology?

Her: I really enjoy it. Do you seriously enjoy Maths?

Me: Yeah. (This goes on for a bit, in retrospect I could have used a bored look to stop her questioning me, but instead I use the oppurtunity to screen her). Yeah, I do but it's not my passion. I really love adventures, just travelling around the world and even here I can try some new places just for fun.

Her: Yeah, I really want to go travelling!

Me: That's great! You're a pretty cool girl.

Her: I really have to get going.

Me: Okay, let's go for a coffee sometime.

Her: Maybe, I'll give you my number. (I take her number and she goes to her hair appointment)

This was a good conversation by my standards and I'm quite happy with how it went. One thing I could have done is to inject some sexual tension whilst talking with her, the interaction did feel rather platonic. I stuck to my goal of trying to use more non-verbal communication which helped hook her, though I did have to fight myself from speaking some of the time when she wasn't responding to me.

As for my date yesterday, I didn't have sex with her. I did manage to get a handjob, I seem to be good at getting those apparently. What happened was I met her by the train station as usual and we went to find a film and some ingredients for dinner. After getting those we head back to mine in a taxi. All is going well and we get into my room and start kissing, I then start trying to take off her clothes and hit resistance, a brick wall of resistance. So I try a few times but she doesn't take anything off so I say we should watch the film. We start watching it and I try again, no success and I move slightly away from her so that we aren't touching. I can feel her inching slowly towards me and she accuses me of being angry. I deny this and say it's just unusual and we get into a discussion about what we both want. This then heads into the territory of what I believe about life and all of that. I make a few brash statements due to my inexperience and have to do some damage control but I have eased her up a little. I then kiss her again and finally her top comes off and her bra but any attempt to take off her leggings fail. I do everything I know, dirty talk, teasing her skin, make her feel desired sexually (which wasn't too hard) and a few more things. She admits that she is incredibly turned on and wants me (and I can touch her through her clothes) but still the goddamn leggings won't come off. After about 20 minutes of trying I give up.

She wants to meet up again and spend the day together and then head back to mine next time. She knows that I'm not looking for anything serious but this is her trying to tie me down. So I guess I'm going to propose a counter offer again off just chilling with me at home and hope she gets the point.

Here are my goals for my next outing:

1- Use nonverbal communication when ever possible.
2- Get into a social state (chat to strangers, shop assisstants, etc..)