Starting from Scratch Journal

[Edd--19]

A very interesting outing today, don't think I'm going to forget it soon. I started the day very tired and went straight out to the city centre to keep on honing these skills. I start 15 minutes in again and not very strong reactions from her. I do get a couple of girls talking to me and they give me their numbers but the interactions were very similar to the girl yesterday just different content. I have started to notice that girls are starting to ask me questions about myself more often and they come quite quickly, a very good sign . This does mean I have to start working on my intrigue building skills or flirt in response to the questions, I prefer the latter personally . I had a really fun conversation with a blonde Scottish girl, it started off quite normal but got more fun and flirtatious towards the end.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking here and I had to come and tell you that you have the most captivating eyes. (Pause) I'm Edd. (Warm smile)

Her: Hi. (Huge smile back)

Me: What's your name? (I paused for a while but she didn't respond)

Her: Helen.

Me: How are you? (Not what I intended to say but try new things, also at this point I turn to face her a little and then turn away slightly again)

Her: Yeah I'm good

Me: What are you doing?

Her: I'm just shopping and about to meet my friend. (She starts to play a little with her necklace)

Me: (I say someting, can't really remember what), I like your necklace, it's pretty.

Her: Thanks, it was a gift from my mum.

Me: Cool, it looks good on you, but I think it would look better on me, accentuating my masculine charm. (She laughs and I laugh, we both turn more towards each other)

Her: I think I'm going to keep it.

Me: (Reaching for her necklace) Let's have a look. Yeah it's lovely, what stone is it?

Her: I'm not sure, I have to go and meet my friend.

Me: Stay another minute, this is fun. (She agrees and we continue to talk), Are you creative by any chance?

Her: No, not really. (I get a bit more specific with what creative is but she still says no)

Me: Okay, are you into travelling?

Her: (Starts twirling her hair a bit) Yeah, I love travelling.

Me: That's great, where abouts?

Her: All over!

Me: You're a cool girl, how about we trade numbers and meet for a drink.

Her: I've got a boyfriend, that's why I'm visiting here.

Me: We can be really discrete. (She laughs and keeps twirling her hair) No one will know.

Her: No, I can't.

Me: Oh well, I suppose it's for the best, other wise you'd have been all over me. (She laughs hard)

We then go on and I speak to a few more girls. I've realised that a good way to get a girl talking is asking her about something she is wearing and focusing on it. I've done a little of it before and I know Chase has a slight obsession with gaining this form of compliance I guess it's a powerful way of getting a girl investing into the conversation. It also builds the energy of the conversation and that is something I am trying to figure out. So if I try and build some form of (read: build much more) investment before qualifying this would (in my eyes) seriously help my results.

I also bumped into my ex in fcuk and chatted to her for a while. It's rather peculiar because I'm pretty sure she was attracted to me from what my instinct was telling me. From touching me, inquiring about very personal details about my life (am I seeing anyone), complimenting me a lot and some slight hair preening gestures. I was really enjoying myself at this point cause I had built up a lot of social momentum from talking to lots of people and some free wine I drank earlier helped a little too. As we talked and shared detail about our lives I noticed her becoming more closed with her body language (arms crossed mostly). She also found ways to mention that she was seeing someone else and then started asking me about my private life (I was enjoying this because I was quite certain she was trying to make me jealous), so I told her about a couple of the sexual encounters I had. Other than this I didn't really compliment her and joined with my calm body language (I was leaning against a railing and was really relaxed) and hearing that I'm doing more than fine made her auto-reject slightly. I'm just speculating all of this as it was really interesting that this should happen. It's really puts into perspective how far I have come along since June, seeing as I started this Journal just after we broke up.

So my goals for my next outing are:

1- Touch 3 girls at least 10 times on the arm. (I keep forgetting to touch more)
2- Avoid answering 3 direct questions.

 

[Edd--19]

Nothing to talk about in this post as I struck out with every girl I spoke to, I was able to build some intrigue with a couple of people I chatted to just to be social but other than that not a great day of approaching. However I did meet another guy who does/did pick up and we got on quite well and he gave me a couple of pointers and we traded numbers, I hope this will follow up nicely.

 

[Edd--19]

I have no idea what is holding me back. I have so many ideas about what it could be that I don't know where to start. I went out and changed my approach to approaching girls to give value instead of going in for conversations. I thought if I gave girls compliments freely that I would find the girls who were attracted to me back and they would stay and talk to me. Didn't work as well as I planned; I met around 50-60 girls and out of those I got into about 3 conversations and only got 1 number which I'm certain is going to flake. So as you can expect I'm completely demoralised by this. I tried being upbeat and value-giving at the start and it was working I was approaching groups making girls smile and they reacted warmly to me, I didn't stick around much at the beginning (I was just trying to build up my social momentum) but eventually I started to get drained when I was meeting so many girls and none really felt like talking to me. Kinda sucks. It's not that I'm not attractive, but I feel like I'm missing something huge or tiny that I can't figure out and it's really f*cking annoying me. After a while I thought I was too high energy (the girls were still warm), so I toned it down and that worked but girls started to treat me like a "nice guy" or a "friend" so I thought it must be something that I'm doing at the start. So I have to try and change my approach again to be more sexual but how can I do that when I'm not getting into any conversations. It's great to be sexual with girls (of course) but I can be as sexual as I like but if they aren't going to stick around then it's not going to work (but that's assuming that girls respect nice guys and friends more than sexual guys). At the end of the day I just feel so stripped of energy. I complimented so many girls and after a while I started to feel drained because I couldn't continue being social without any sort of positive feedback loop. This was around 30-40 girls and I kept going because I really want to learn this but now I'm utterly run into the ground. I'm not putting up the field report up, even though it was a good conversation I'm still mulling on what feels like such a huge failure after pouring so much time (today and the entire time spent learning this) and effort into improving and all I somehow seem to manage is 1 number that is likely to flake. I'm still going to get this skill down, I'm not quitting, I want this too bad. It just sucks. Anyway, that was a bit of a rant and I'm going to go offline for a week or two to try lots of different things and hopefully absorb some of the little skills I've been trying to improve. Also, I was only able to complete the intrigue goal one but I keep giving up after she asks a few times, not sure if that's good or not.

 

[ray_zorse]

Seems like you're struggling to get past the opener and get her to hook. Get her sharing but do it in a way that's not 20-questions like... actually I had an interaction the other day with a hot Vietnamese chick, had only introduced myself when she agreed to move (sit down with me to talk), however she then basically gave me nothing, so after I asked about 3 or 4 questions I allowed longer and longer pauses, like up to a minute or two, eventually I said "I would like to get to know you better, but I'm not sure...? help me out!" ... still gave me nothing, after a few more minutes said she had to go. But my point in sharing this, is to say that if they're giving you nothing, give them a space to contribute and if they don't, move on. But much better: Go in with a cold read and get her sharing straightaway. Search my posts for examples.
ray

 

[Edd--19]

Long time no talk! I'm sorry for not typing when I said I would but I was rather frustrated and angry and didn't want to rant on here again. Now for the past few weeks I've been struggling to get into any type of conversation and this started to make me rather cynical. Fortunately I went home last week and after being an asshole to my entire family (I started an argument and proceeded to insult everyone I could, it ended when I made my sisters boyfriend so angry he tried to deck me) I wanted to know what I was doing wrong in conversations with them. They told me that I am unpredictable so they don't know how I will respond to what they say and that I also seem depressed. This makes sense so I immediately started trying to change that and started to be more open to them and it was one of the greatest points in my life being able to relate to my family properly. I've then applied this into pick-up and today I've started to see some results. Conversations with girls are going smoother and are much more fun, the girls I approach and talk to are more open with me and I've learnt a few more specific things along the way.

Today I approached 17 girls. I wasn't very social at the beginning but my aim was to ust have fun and to not blame anyone for anything that happens (I was doing that a lot when I was frustrated). It took a while to get into a good rhythm and a few rejections later I met a cute girl in a rather revealing sundress that I had to meet. I go up to her and open:

Me: Hey, I saw you walking and had to tell you that that is a gorgeous sundress. I'm Edd. (I extend my hand and she takes it and her hand lingers in mine until I move her to the side)

Her: (Laughs for a long time, she's in shock and is quite nervous) Thanks, this hasn't happened to me before, I'm Emma.

Me: Really? But you're starting to make me laugh now!

Her: (Laughs)

Me: (I laugh as it's quite contagious) Let's move over here (there was some more banter but it was mostly based around the laughter). How come you're here today?

Her: I'm buying invisible socks.

Me: Invisible socks?!?! It's coming upto summer you won't need socks whatsoever.

Her: I know but I'm going to need them soon. Here take a look!

Me: (She passes me the socks) They're not invisible! I can't see through them!

Her: No! But you can't see them when they're on and you can only get them from primark!

Me: Where are you heading now then?

Her: I'm off to a river with some friends to cool off by.

Me: It's not the beach though is it... There's no sand!

Her: It is a fun river to be by.

I've forgotten how the rest of the conversation went. At one point in a little bit of rapport she was losing interest so I switched back to some banter and then said we should swap numbers. She agreed and asked if she wanted my surname. I said sure and then she took a photo of herself on my phone as well. It was a fun conversation and I definitely picked up on a few things. One thing is that I should start rapport when the girl starts asking about me and switch the focus to her and qualify at the same time. I also did focus more on myself in the rapport stage so that would be the reason why she was losing interest, I think.

I met and talked to some fun girls as I kept on approaching one interaction I knew wasn't going anywhere so I tried flirting but it didn't work too well and she excused herself. However later on I met another girl, walking home. She was cute and I thought why not.

Me: Hi, I've got to tell you that you've got lovely eyes. I'm Edd.

Her: (Smiling) Thanks, I'm Sophie, I saw you and was thinking to myself that you were friendly!

Me: Haha, I thought you were cute, but you should compliment me.

Her: Umm, haha, you're nice looking.

Me: Hahahaha, that's an original compliment! (I hug her)

Her: Hey! You were putting me on the spot!

Me: Okay, I guess it is harder to think of things on the spot! (We banter for a little while longer) Haha, so what do you study?

Her: I'm not at the university, I'm only 17, but my mum says I have the mind of a 30 year old!

Me: You're a little trouble then.

Her: Hahahaha.

Me: What do you study?

Her: English, Economics and politics but when I get to uni I want to study English. What do you study?

Me: Have a guess. (This happens for the next few questions she asks me so I'll just skip them.)

Her: I didn't want to say maths, it's too obvious, and when you think about maths students you think about really geeky guys... Not that you're geeky or anything.

Me: Hahahaha. I like maths but it's not the only thing I enjoy, I love music and creativity! It's so much fun just to lose yourself in!

Her: Yeah, I used to play the piano and I loved it! But I've had to stop since I started my A-levels.

Me: That's awesome! (I give her another hug)

She then says she has to get going and I suggest trading numbers and she agrees. If there is anything I have learnt today it's that being open, having fun and not blaming anyone is a good way to go. It doesn't mean that if something goes wrong it isn't my fault but I won't beat myself up for it. I'm not going to write any goals I just want to stay in relaxed mode for a while.

 

[Edd--19]

I've been off for a long time trying to get better with girls but all progress I make feels really slow and it's part off the reason why I've not been here for so long. Probably the main reason is cause I've been depressed for a long time and I haven't noticed it since my mum told me just before my last post. Since this has happened I've definitely noticed that I've been feeling low for a long time (about 10 years) and if it wasn't for this site I would be so much worse off than I am now.
As of writing this I've spoken with some family members and after things getting quite emotional I've gotten to the point where I NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS AGAIN!!!!!!
I have a lot of changes to make to my lifestyle to support my changing from me now to whom I want to be (I'm going to be fucking awesome, that's who I'm going to be). I'm not going to stop approaching girls, it makes me happy when I can put a smile on a girls face after approaching her. I do, however, have to put more effort into redirecting my thoughts. I've read Chase's article on depression and that makes a lot of sense to me but I didn't have those negative thoughts (I just blocked them out and that's all). All of this came about when I was learning to become an asshole to become a genuine guy and I went so far that I nearly turned my entire family against me an nearly got decked by one of my sisters' boyfriends.
But this is a rather depressing topic but I felt like I had to type that so anyone who reads this knows where I am coming from. So I'm putting together a vague plan of what I'm going to do to achieve my goal of where and who I want to be within ten years.
On the topic of meeting girls I have approached 3 girls today and as I was travelling home today (one sister is getting married tomorrow) I only got into a brief conversation with one. I'm currently working on my flirting as I realised that there are 2 kinds of hook points. The first one being platonic and the second one being sexual. The platonic one is where the girl stays in the conversation for reasons other than her being sexually interested in you (or more precisely she's not feeling powerful sexual attraction). So she stays in to be polite or cause the conversation is fun or to make a new friend. The latter one is where she starts touching you and flirting and willl try and progress things forward. I haven't reached the latter but can do the former, which is why I was getting frustrated. As a result of this I'm working on my flirting skills and they're getting better slowly but I've not gotten into many conversations for my personal reasons above (i.e. I don't feel like doing it until I've gotten into the conversation). That aside, I've done it before and I'm not quitting on myself and don't plan to (nearly been there once before, it isn't worth it).
The short conversation I did have today went a little like this:

Me: Hey, I saw you walking and had to tell you that you have the most gorgeous eyes I've seen. I'm Edd.

Her: Hi, I'm Christina. (Beams a big smile)

Me: You're eyes are really beautiful.

Her: Thanks! (I hold her hand a short while and let go, and turn my body slightly away)

Me: Are you heading anywhere interesting?

Her: Bournemouth, I'm going just for the weekend. How about you?

Me: No way, I live there. You better not stalk me whilst I'm there. (said in a playful/flirty tone but I look away just after I say it)

The conversation dies immediately and she goes to board the train. I know what I did wrong there. Bad wording and looking away at the end, but that's part of learning.

Here are my goals when I go back to uni:

- Flirt with 2 girls
- Gain some compliance other than moving the girl.

These are 2 issues I have that I can easily focus on right now with my approaching. And thanks to all those who are supporting me, I'm only getting more determined to sort my life out with each obstacle that gets put in my way. Talk to you soon.

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey mate good to see a post cos I always enjoy reading. Sorry to hear you haven't been 100%. Can relate to the assholeish behaviour driving people away haha. If u are feeling bad u can rely on me for support and I am sure I speak for other board members too when I say that. Keep practicing your flirting, chase framing and sexy vibe. All will be golden. Your chase frame was okay, might have been the delivery. I prefer to state them positively "I think you will ...", rather than "You had better not ..." though little difference in this case.
Ray

 

[Edd--19]

So after a rather long hiatus from the site because of things like exams and such I'm returning to give a brief summary of what I have been upto on the approaching front. Currently I am working on upping my sexiness, reading the e-book and several articles have helped and I'm tackling my smile, voice and speed at the moment. More over, having a sexy smile, having a deeper and more purring voice and seeming more deliberate in my actions. It's all going well. I have made a number of approaches and picked up on a bad habit I had during conversations with girls, particularly at the start of an interaction; pecking. I read it on another resource which highlighted my problem and I have nearly gotten rid of it. For those who don't know what pecking is it is when you start to move you head backwards and forwards during a conversation and it comes over as very needy. Since stopping a few girls are starting to hook, my receptions are much warmer and exciting.

I went on an instant date with a girl 2 days ago after approaching her in the street. She was hooked immediately and I got compliance, followed by her number and within 10 minutes we were going on a date holding hands. Within an hour of our date we had made out, I got her to sit next to me (originally she was only to my side). I kept moving us around and deep diving her and at several points in our date I had managed to get her ridiculously turned on. My sexual vibe was good and we were talking about sex every now and then. I took her to a private place at the end of the date and started to rub outside her jeans and kissing her in other places on her skin. However after numerous attempts throughout the date she stuck to her guns and we didn't do anything else. She was completely loving it touching me as well but only with a denim barrier. When I had to go back and revise I said I'd text her later and we can do a bit more and she excitedly said "yes!" and then quickly changed it to "maybe" making me laugh. I've tried texting her but no response but I think my texts haven't gone through as it doesn't read "delivered" under them but I'm not worrying about that. All in all, working on my sexiness is going well, but my verbal flirtation skills can still be honed much more. Maybe I have to have the mindset that everything is an innuendo and that'll help the process.

On the learning to be an asshole front, I'm struggling massively. I find it difficult to be an asshole to people still and don't want to upset people that often even in situations where I think it's acceptable. Any help? On a side note, I'm becoming much better at saying no, so I am getting somewhere.

To bitesize everything down that I'm trying to learn:
- Sexiness
1- Sexy Smile
2- Deliberate/Slow Actions
3- Deep, Purring Voice
- Becoming an Asshole
1- Saying No to People
2- Insulting People (when they say something wrong/stupid (having trouble with this))
- Flirting
1- Using Chase Frames
2- Making Suggestive Comments

I've got a few things to aim for which is good and fun. I've also got a bootcamp lined up in late August which will help me considerably. Finally after my exams I've got busy and free periods and during those free periods I'll be maximising my time learning seduction and typing up posts (less typing during the busy sections!). Catch you all in a bit!

 

[Edd--19]

Okay, I'm back typing again, which is a relief for me! Today, I started my approaching at midday and it took me about 10 minutes to make my first approach. The girl wasn't very responsive and I wasn't that high energy. I was getting into the swing of things. I get trapped in my head until the next approach and this girl wasn't that interested either. I might add that it was ridiculously busy out today, it seemed like half the city was out, giving me lots of girls to approach. I approach a few more girls and I've taken about an hour to approach 5. The fifth girl was fun to talk to, she insisited on leaving but something told me she was attracted to me, unfortunately I couldn't get her to stay. I approach 6 more girls in the next hour and get into a few conversations most of them painful and awkward. However, one conversation wasn't too bad, it lacked any sexual tension, I tried to build some, but it was very platonic (I also think building sexual tension shouldn't be my highest priority right now). The conversation was quite bland and lacked any life but I was able to qualify her a couple of times. Oh, and I've been trying to implement something called "curious indifference" and it works quite well.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking and have to tell you you're gorgeous. I'm Edd.

Her: Hi, I'm Tina. (I extend my hand, she takes it)

Me: Where've you come from?

Her: From the university.

Me: What do you study?

Her: Nanotechnology, I'm studying a semester abroad. What about you?

Me: Something similar. Okay, where are you from?

Her: Norway, what do you study?

Me: You're quite eager to know aren't you. (I touch her on the arm)

Her: Yeah, we're having a conversation!

Me: I study maths. What made you want to study nanotechnology? Why not Physics or English?

Her: Uhh, I like how it encorporates lots of different areas of physics in it.

Me: Okay, that's cool, but are you creative?

Her: I'm not sure.

Me: How do you not know? Do you play piano, draw, anything?

Her: I play violin.

Me: Awesome! (I give her a hug) I love creative people, there are so many people that don't do anything creative and it's boring.

Her: Yeah, I don't think you can do science without being creative!

Me: Yeah, without it you just go round in circles and find out the same things, it lacks adventure and that's lots of fun. (subtle qualifier)

Her: Of course, it makes it much more interesting.

We talk for a few more lines and I try to get her number but she doesn't give me it. It's cool, I learnt a lot by replaying this back. First I asked too many questions at the start of the conversation, indicating I'm not high energy enough and nervous at the start of the conversation. Next I'm not having any repartée in my conversations. I'm trying to get some information to work with at the start but I get stuck on asking questions. I'm not teasing, flirting, challenging and a lot more that would make my conversations much more interesting. I also have to try and work on my approach so I'm better received by more girls. I will want to work on my approach and my repartée and get that to a good standard.

The list I wrote before I am still working on but I'm going to add a few things on it and work at them one at a time:

- Sexiness
1- Sexy Smile
2- Deliberate/Slow Actions
3- Deep, Purring Voice
4- Curious indifference

- Becoming an Asshole
1- Saying No to People
2- Insulting People (when they say something wrong/stupid (having trouble with this))

- Flirting
1- Using Chase Frames
2- Making Suggestive Comments

My goals for my next outing are:
1- Use curious indifference when meeting girls on 5 girls.
2- No questions in the first 30 seconds of all conversation.
3- Fun, enjoyable intial conversation topics

 

[ray_zorse]

I think probably the main thing I would have changed in your conversation would be to go deeper on the nanotechnology, when she said it incorporates different areas it was almost an invitation to go deeper. I get that you're perhaps not into physics though, but you could have countered with "oh really? I'm not super knowledgeable on that, please educate me... what are some of the main ones", changing the subject to creativity sounded brutally dismissive, and you can see that as a result, she kind of steered it back with her retort that science is also creative. However, the main thing is you got out there, approached, and posted a FR so that's all good my bro. I can certainly relate with the taking 5 or 6 approaches to get a decent conversation, that's all part of it, but it gets easier if you go in casual and just approach cos why not.
Ray

 

[Edd--19]

Hey Ray, I see what you're getting at there. I was rather dismissive of the topic conversation which was on her. I did forget to write that I had asked whether she was doing practical or theory based currently and what year she was in, my mistake. I did immediately change conversation topic mostly cause I felt a bit under pressure and wanted to qualify her. I have an issue with being relaxed at the moment in the field. I'll keep my eye open for anything like that again, thanks for pointing that our!

I approached only 6 girls today and I tried my hand at a bit of nightgame last night. I went out on my own to a bar and chatted to 2 girls. One of which I spoke to for about half an hour, I qualified her, touched her, used sexual implication and a lot of other tactics but I lacked any sexual vibe there and her boyfriend was around. But all in all I achieved my goal which was to stay at a bar for an hour.

Today, I managed to achieve my curious indifference goal but messed up with my question asking. It's a lot harder to do than it seems. I got into 1 conversation all the other girls were either indifferent to me or were happy I approached them but couldn't stop. The girl who did stop was from the czech republic and our conversation was interesting but I couldn't stop asking questions. I'm not typing it up cause it wouldn't be worth the effort when I know where I messed up. I struggle with balancing my I's and you's (this keeps haunting me) but I'm sure it's me not being relaxed. I feel a lot of pressure to make a conversation at the start. Such as, I open, she says thanks and her name and we "shake" hands and then I get stuck and questions are a way to deal with that. So I figure I've got to find a way to avoid too many questions. Thinking about it I could use my own opinions or we could talk about something that is happening or has happened to me recently.

Goals for next outing:

1- Open girls with curious indifference.
2- Talk about something small instead of asking questions.
3- Balance I's and you's!!!

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey, good stuff man, good to see you putting yourself out there. About asking questions, see this post I wrote the other day to onlyshallow, props actually go mainly to Smith for showing me that cold reads allow to keep the ball rolling without looking desperate. This was a huge turning point in my game I can tell you. I was going out mass approaching 30~40 at a time several days a week and it made the difference between them hooking and not, a pretty big difference. There's also a fascinating article about cold reads on the main site by Chase, it leads in with an anecdote about a sexy young newsreader from Chinese TV that he fucked, haha some inspiring shit there. One of the main points of the article is that every time you cold read you get feedback, so you quickly get more accurate. When I guess a girl's age for example, it's usually exact, sometimes 1 year younger than her true age, as I err on the younger side. This really freaks me out sometimes. Also can tell Vietnamese, Korean, Japanese and Chinese apart (usually) which I could not before. Another type of cold read is surmising about her day's activities by what she's wearing, what she's carrying, where you meet her and which direction she's going, etc.
Ray

 

[Edd--19]

Hey Ray, those are great ideas, I'll add them to my repetoire! It's cool that you can make so many approaches in a day, you'll get good much faster! I'll check out your journal and see what other nuggets of gold are hidden in there.

For today's approaching I met 16 girls, had some pretty insightful conversations and got 2 numbers and gave mine to a girl as well. I also figured out my big block. I wasn't relaxed. I've been tense when I was approaching and it reflects with how well I've been doing lately. Today, I had to get up early and being tired I was more inclined to be relaxed. This started a chain reaction of more girls noticing me and leading to me just having much stronger conversations where I hooked 3/4 girls.

Here's my best conversation of the day:

Me: Hi, I saw you walking and had to come and tell you that you have the greatest sense of style I've seen all day. I'm Edd. (Using curious indifference but high energy as well, open body language, not leaning in, and a half smile)

Her: Hi, I'm Sarah.

Me: Cool accent, where are you from? (remarking on the accent first is probably stronger than going straight in with the question, close my body language)

Her: I'm Polish.

Me: Cool, I bet you've got a really long surname like "Blazczowski" or something?

Her: Yeah, it's (gives surname).

Me: Wait, what??

Her: It's not that difficult!

Me: Yeah, it is, it's quite difficult.

Her: Okay maybe it is.

Me: Hahaha, how long have you been in England for?

We talk a little bit about superficial topics, I deep dive her and qualify her, I start to build compliance by getting her to talk louder. The vibe of the conversation is quite happy and fun, not very sexual so I try and make it a little more sexual.

Me: Are you at college, university?

Her: I'm going to university in Autumn, hopefully, either Manchester or Newcastle.

Me: Quite close to home, I think you'll have lots of support if you need it.

Her: Yeah.

Me: I like moving away though more freedom to do what I want.

Her: Yeah, I want to be able to experience it all.

Me: You'll love it then, there's a lot to experience, especially in first year. (tried sexy eye contact)

Her: Hahaha, I wouldn't know.

Me: You'll find out. (again tried with sexy eye contact)

Her: What do you study?

Me: Take a guess. (I've started trying to get more into avoiding this question and then replying with "your eager to know")

Her: Maths? Engl..

Me: Yeah. I think you're psychic.

Her: Hahahaha. Not really.

Me: I am, I know you're Polish.

Her: Hahaha, You must be.

Me: Give me your hand and I'll read your palm (gives me hand). Okay, this line says you're talking to a cute guy.

Her: Hahaha, really?!?!

Me: And this line says you're naughty...

Her: Hahahahahaha,

Me: (pause for a moment) That's awesome! Come here (I give her a hug).

We carry on our conversation a little longer and I give her my number. Overall, I had a lot of fun talking to her, there were a lot of positive emotions swirling about and I was able to apply my process easily with her. If I can up my sexy vibe then I potentially could have gotten a lot further with this girl but that's the area I'm planing to work on next mainly.

The next girl I'm going to write about was very hot. Usually they just reject me quite quickly and I don't get anywhere near them but this time something was different. Even though it didn't go overly well I noticed she was attracted but I didn't know what to do.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking and have to tell you that you have an incredible sense of style. I'm Edd. (Curious indifference, high energy with open body language)

Her: Hi, I'm Paris.

Me: Interesting name, Why did your parents call you that? (Close my body language)

Her: They originally wanted to call me Dee but my grandmother persuaded them not to.

Me: Dee is an old lady's name. (I say something else but can't remember it)

An awkward pause ensues for a few seconds.

Her: This is awkward.

Me: Yeah, you're quite awkward aren't you. (I notice a spike in attraction)

Her: Yeah, I guess so.

Me: I thought you'd be more talkative. (I'm trying to avoid talking as that means the pressure is getting to me, I use a bored look)

Her: Music brain I guess.

Me: What were you listening to?

Her: MDMT.

Me: Who's that?

We have a short conversation about music but I don't steer it out of awkward waters and she seems to be expecting me to. So I decide that it's best I just leave. I could have, in hindsight, asked a few more questions about herself and apply the bored look. Another thing I've read from Chase is that sexiness helps warm up these girls. Even more reason to learn sexiness, I'm starting to obsess now aren't I. Interestingly when she said the silence was awkward and I threw it back at her it spiked her attraction and she stuck around waiting to see what would happen, usually they just leave. I think that's 'cause it's not a nice guy response and more of a jerk response. Going to keep that in my back pocket for the future.

My goals for my next outing are:
1- Use curious indifference on all girls I approach.
2- Be relaxed for the entire time I'm meeting girls.
3- Cold read something about a girl.

As for my goals I set yesterday, I accomplished them all.

 

[Edd--19]

Hey all, another good day of approaching today. I completed 2 of my goals, I slipped up on being curious indifferent some of the time whilst opening but over half of my approaches were using curious indifference. I met 13 beautiful strangers today and went on to get 2 numbers. I got several of the girls I met interested in me when they were indifferent. A lot of girls now will happily talk to me and even start showing signs of attraction when they origionally had given an excuse not to be interested. Such as one girl I met today replied that she was in a happy relationship, this didn't phase me and I kept talking to her, she complied with me when I asked her to do things and started to play a little with her hair and was smiling nervously. I didn't get her number but it's good to know that I'm progressing.

I started immediately and got blown off quickly but my aim then was to start, getting rejected wasn't important. The next girl I met was very interested in me, she is a bit older but she showed definite signs of attraction. She made things quite flirty and touched me a bit here and there. I continued to chat to her, qualifying her, deep diving her, flirting with her. Things are going well and she's hinting that she has to get on with her day but she stays for a little while longer. She also regales a time when she was approached by a guy in a food store and how he grabbed her hand and how he has effectively facebook stalked her since. I said something along the lines that he was a creepy guy and not well calibrated. She then joked about how she would have run him over with a trolly. We trade numbers and are going to meet up at some point, judging by how we were flirting and with her moving away soon I reckon this could be a fun date.

Just a quick update for today, I didn't really find many issues with my approaching today, a few things to work on but nothing I haven't covered before. I managed to get in a couple of cold reads today, and they are very simple to pull off, and also a good way to qualify girls as well.

Goals for next outing:
- Use curious indifference on majority of approaches.
- Use cold reads on 3 girls.

 

[Edd--19]

I've upped my approach rate a bit recently and have started to try out night game. Last night I went to a bar that I'm familiar with just to get the ball rolling. When I walk in there are literally 10 people in this bar and it's dead quiet. I get a drink and sit down with a girl who's waiting for her friend to come back. We start chatting and I can tell she's interested in me. She keeps asking me questions about myself and I'm slightly thrown by this. I try and keep control of the conversation flow by asking her some questions about herself but she doesn't give that good answers and some of the time the conversation dies. When her friend comes back it helps transition the conversation on a little more, I try and qualify this girl but she keeps qualifying her friend instead of herself. I guess at this point she doesn't think she has the attractive qualities I'm looking for so I try and relate to her on what she is studying.

Me: Why did you choose to study radio?

Her: I dunno, I fell into it I guess.

Me: Cool, I once did a bit of helping withthe radio at school, my friends used to run it so every once in a while I snuck in to help. The best bit was choosing the songs and playing them, it was easy just to get lost in it all.

Her: Yeah, we play games all the time on our show depending on what day of the week it is. On fridays we play chilled music and then have a rapping contest later.

Me: There are so many cool tangents that can be taken when hosting a show, everything you do just leads somewhere.

Her: I love that so much. It makes it really fun to do.

We talk about the radio for a while and then she brings her friend into the conversation, which is annoying. Then she fucks up because she insults her friend by calling her illiterate thinking that it's a compliment. We both laugh and she reveals that someone once called her illiterate and she said "thank you" and ever since then she's been complimenting people with it. We couldn't hold our laughter, it was hiliarious, still she was a bit ditsy so I'm not surprised. I quickly left after that to go home, I could have gotten her number but she's not my type.

For my Day game today I met 21 women, accomplished both of my goals and got 2 numbers. Lots of girls were receptive to my approach but I was a bit off today and the start of the conversations seemed to lag a little. I lack a good process after I've opened to get into a strong conversation. However when the conversation at the start does go well, more often than not the girls are obviously attracted to me. This one girl I opened at the start was happy and smiling when I met her, and played with her hair. She then decided to test me by saying "do you normally meet people like this?". As this was the start I got thrown and fumbled my words and eventually came out with "Yeah, you can meet so many different people". When saying this I had about 5 other things running through my mind and was trying to find a way to pass the test whilst adding on some sexual undertones. Needless to say I didn't manage that.

One of the girls I got a number of off was very interested and the conversation went a little like this.

Me: Hi, I saw you walking and have to tell you you're f***ing gorgeous. I'm Edd.

Her: Thanks, I'm Leah.

Me: Where are you going?

Her: Just about to catch the bus home, it's 20 minutes.

Me: That's good, I've heard of some buses taking upto an hour. Where abouts is home?

Her: (Home town) Heard of it?

Me: No, What do you do?

Her: I'm at college.

Me: Studying?

Her: Childcare.

I proceed to build a small connection on her childcare course and move her to the side. We talka little while longer, she starts looking at her phone so I tell her to stop being rude in a playful way. She laughs and invests more into the conversation. I then grab her number with her telling me she expects to hear from me.

learnt a little bit today. I caught some of my fundamentals being dropped so I corrected that and I've noticed the best results for a strong conversation is to ask an arbitrary question and then to balance I's and you's to not keep asking questions.

Goals for next outing:
- Ask 1 question then make a short statement about her response to 5 girls.
- Curious indiffernce on 10 girls.

 

[ray_zorse]

You approached 21 women and got 2 numbers even though you weren't really feeling it??? No fuckin way man, you're a machine Great going!

With the first girl it was great that you related to her on the radio, however as I got more experienced I started to cut back on relating slightly, in favour of deep diving. Remember that relating is kind of subtly qualifying yourself, so it has to be used with a little nuance. (I still go overboard on relating). When she said "I don't know, I just kind of fell into it I guess", this is a weak answer and shouldn't be rewarded. You should either do a takeaway (she didn't qualify herself, so you're not interested... gaze off into space and let the conversation die a bit)... or else you should persist and "help" her qualify. The way I'd do it is as follows:

Her: I don't know, just kind of fell into it I guess
Me: so you were interested in media, did you come at it from a music perspective, or you were interested in the journalism side of it, or...?
Her: I wasn't that interested in media generally
Me: so radio was a kind of a hobby for you? you were basically an avid listener who thought "hey, this is pretty cool, I wonder how this stuff gets made"
Her: no no well it was actually that my cousin had done an internship in radio (ahh... she's starting to open up)
Me: oh, you're close with your cousin? great (qualifying her)... and what did your cousin say that made you think a career in radio might be the ticket?
Her: oh haha well he just said he had met a lot of interesting people there
Me: ohhh so it's basically that you're a people person? that's awesome (qualifying her)... and have you had the same experience?
Her: blah blah blah (sharing)

At this point you can start to relate.

Another thing to do is, when she says she's waiting for her friend, immediately set a stopwatch in your mind: "I have to ask her for her number within 1 minute". Once the friend gets back, your chance of getting a number tanks significantly. Get that number saved, and then do the idle chitchat thing with both of them afterwards. And, needless to say, don't say anything to the friend that would indicate you've got her number and that you're planning to meet up again later.

Ray

 

[Edd--19]

Thanks Ray, it's all about setting goals and having time limits. When I go out I give myself 2 hours to complete them all and then by that time I'm used to approaching. I also thought that relating felt a bit like qualifying but was never really to sure about it. You're definitely right on giving her a reward for little effort and I'll try and keep it in mind when I next do that. I also reckon that instead of pushing here for information, which is a perfectly good option, potentially using a bored look might work as well. It may use social pressure to get her to feel like she isn't living up to standards or something.

Today, I went out and met 25 girls and just about completed 2 of my goals (I added another to my list after I had already replied). I didn't complete the curious indifference today as I was doing something wrong and couldn't figure it out. A lot of girls I approached weren't responding and funnily enough when I approached hot girls they were happy to see me. Maybe it's attainability but at the time I was looking around a lot at who to meet. Another thing I've started to do is flirt in my conversations, I just picked up on little threads in the conversation and then made them sexual, all of it happened rather quickly and spontaneously. My cold reads are slowly getting better, I'm figuring out the types of girl I'm meeting and what sort of emotions they encorporate, but the number of reference points I have are small. My initial conversation is getting stronger as well but it's not very fun nor light hearted. I'm considering learning a few lines that may help me make it fun just to display high value and when I am better at building attraction at the start I will drop the lines.

I got one number today and was rather proud of how the interaction went. I was able to deal with her objections rather quickly and she was pretty hot in a summer dress. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Hey, I saw you walking and had to tell you that that is a gorgeous summer dress. I'm Edd.
Her: Thanks, I'm Katy! (We shake hands)
Me: What are you up to?
Her: I'm just shopping.
Me: Yeah, it's a nice day to be out. It's definitely beach weather.
Her: Yeah, what are you doing?
Me: I'm just running some errands. You seem quite passionate.
Her: Really?!?!
Me: Yeah, the way you are really happy and how you're talking. Are you passionate
Her: Yeah, I am.

We talk a little more and get into this bit of the conversation.

Her: You're right, I am talking to you.
Me: It would be better if we weren't covered up. (Sexy smile)
Her: Hahaha, no it wouldn't be.
Me: You're body is acting quite differently. (Sexy smile).
Her: Hahaha.
Me: You're cool, I think we should trade number and meet for a coffee sometime.
Her: I don't usually give my number out.
Me: You can always say no later, but you can't say yes.
Her: That's a good sale.

I get her number and was rather shocked at what I had just managed to do. She was pretty hot and I got her number quickly.

The worst conversation I had was with another hot girl, I know where I fucked up and can think of ways to improve, here it is:

Me: Hi, I saw you walking and had to tell you that you're fucking gorgeous. I'm Edd.
Her: Hi, I'm Alice.
Me: Where are you going?
Her: To work.
Me: What do you do?
Her: I'm a law associate.
Me: I do't really know too much about that. I had a sister who was really into law and she made it seem quite interesting.
Her: Yeah, it is quite interesting. Anyway I better be going.

At the start I knew she was attracted to me but I went straight into rapport and also qualified/related to her immediately. Asking a girl where she's going doesn't seem to be doing me too many favours at the moment. Or it could be my follow up. Either way I want to find a way to overcome this problem I'm encountering. When the initial conversation does go well the rest of it is easy and the girl is happily investing. The rest is easy for me now.

My goals for my next outing are:
- Make a small joke or interesting statement at the start of a conversation with 5 girls.
- Cold Read 5 girls.
- Use curious indifference on 10 girls.

 

[Edd--19]

I've had a couple of good days meeting girls. I didn't type up yesterday, I was exhausted but as an overview I met 16 girls in the afternoon, got one number and didn't do too well with my goals; I barely managed to get close to them. Today wasn't as different. I met 9 girls and felt tired and worn out, I got one number which is cool. I just have to recharge my batteries before I go out again so I might give myself tomorrow off.

I've had a slight epiphany over the past couple of day, I can't remember if I've written it but it won't hurt me to reiterate it for myself. Relating at the start of a conversation with a new girl shouldn't be done (at least by me). I've noticed that when I do it I lose the girls attraction. My non-verbals in conversation are improving. When I get past the start of a conversation the interaction just goes really well and I rarely ever have resistance to me getting numbers. Although the numbers so far aren't aspiring to anything more at the moment.

My one number I got today was pretty fun, I started out complimenting her on her style to which she immediately responds back to me. She's glad I've met her and I ask her where she's going. She's off to work and I try and make a joke or an interesting comment and wind up saying "Oh no, that sucks" instead. Not a good move, I don't want to turn this into a negative conversation. I quickly skip over it, we talk and I finally seize an opportunity to tease her. After that I go straight in for the qualifier, it seems a little out of context but I don't care, I'm sticking to my process. She qualifies herself and I continue to talk a little with her. I didn't get into deep diving however. I forgot what I wanted to say next though and we had a little awkward pause but I still got her number. In hindsight when I tried to make a comment about her work I could have said "You should switch jobs and work at Willy Wonka's" that could work. I'm going to try it out when I get the opportunity.

My goals for my next outing are:
- 7 Curious indifferences
- 3 Cold reads
- Interesting comment at start of conversation

 

[Edd--19]

I finally have internet... God there is a lot to share about my approaching. But right now I'll save the details here's a quick progress check and I hope to be writing up my outings as I do them. Anyway, my attractiveness has peaked, I feel like I am pretty fucking hot. Girls are starting to test me, or I'm noticing it, I'm getting used to it. I'm trying new openers, routines and anything that will help speed up my learning. I'm currently trying to make small talk which involves qualifying girls as soon as I meet them, just trying something different. I'm getting a number each time I go out now whether its after 2 approaches or 21. I want to work more on my sexy vibe and I have a feeling I'm more attainable/more relaxed when I talk to girls. All in all it's going well, and I'm picking up a lot of small social nuances here and there. Talk soon!

 

[Edd--19]

I've come back from 2 outings today, had a pretty decent day and alright night. I picked up a lot of cool little tidbits here and there and noticed were my game was strong (fundamentals, being positive, persistence, etc...) and where I can build up myself (being more relaxed, more assertive). Focused on being more relaxed during the night and when I was I was accepted by everyone in a heartbeat, when I forgot I redirected myself and got back on track, mostly happened when I was consciously hitting on girls. I'm starting to hook more girls though, and loving it. Chase's Article was handy on helping me have a mentality shift... Thing's are going up. I'm focusing more attention on what I'm doing right and pinning small things down that are easy to fix and will contribute lots. For example, my voice likes to jump up and down when I'm talking and I've linked it to how relaxed I feel. I relax my body and lower my voice back and I gain more attention from people and I'm happier and things go so much smoother.

My night game is improving from this, even though I do a little of it I want to do more so I think I'll add more in. My day-game will benefit hugely from this as I now know that I'm not completely relaxed, I'm too outcome dependent... I get it now. Everytime I approach a girl I am very aware of how it is going and shoot myself in the foot. However, I know I can succeed and have evidence of it so the change is coming I'm going to give it a little bit of a push. I really believe I've been focusing so much on the little details and how much I had to learn I forgot that there's a bigger puzzle and I wasn't paying attention to it.

Case in point. I started to meet some groups and a few girls took a liking to me and I was happy being social getting into the after dark gaming. Talking to them was simpler when I just let go off all the little things I worry about and I enjoyed myself. I was chatting to this good looking, dark haired girl, red dress, red lips you know . I met the group and hit it off with her and just talked, smiled, the like. Soon after she was essentially interogating me with lots of questions. I challenged her a bit. She mentioned something about drinks and I flirted replying with "why... Are you offering me one?" which she jokingly declined and then a few moments later brought up that she would.

She continued pressing me for information, I do a little to remain mysterious and it drives her a bit more crazy. She's making obvious flirty suggestions in front of everyone and I've just realised how horny she must be right now... hahaha, oh well. One of the guys also bought me a drink after he thought that I was cool for being able to read him well (played a lying game, I got his truthful statement). He was after the same girl and he tries to "intimidate me" didn't work too well. I stayed calm and got a drink out of it. I lead the small group back to a larger group and after trying to break into the larger group I head off to other bars, getting the girls number on the way.

I could have stuck it out and I'm happy with how far I got and I know I'm starting night-game so I'm pleased with how it went.