The Ladykiller Chronicles

[Kvothe]

Articles I'm liking rn:

Approach Anxiety Is a Flat Tire

Anxiety is trying to imagine and solve every possible outcome, all at once. When you stop trying to control things you can’t, it’s like fixing a flat tire in your game. Contents I. I’m a Flat Tire? II. What’s the Worst That Could Happen? III. Thoughts Cause Emotion IV. Solving Every Problem at...

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Not Getting Laid? You're Playing It Too "Safe" with Girls

Guys who are not getting laid are so due to “safety.” They don’t do the three things guys who do get laid do, and they pay the price for it in sexlessness. When a guy is not getting laid, it is almost always for the same reason: He is playing it too safe with girls. I don’t mean “safe” as in...

www.girlschase.com

Act Like You Belong and You Can Go Anywhere

You can walk and talk your way into places by acting like you should be there. People pay more attention to behavior than you think – & less to credentials. Once, many years ago, just a few years into my seduction career, I was in Singapore with a couple of friends and entered a nightclub. It...

www.girlschase.com

Opening Cheatsheet: How Approach Her (What to Do & Say)

It’s easy to fall off your opening game when you’re rusty at meeting girls. Use this cheat sheet to tighten up your opening and start new conversations with ease. Hey guys, and welcome back! After finishing up my post on how to get out of bad momentum, I promised you a few cheat sheets to help...

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Fixing (and Using) Low Momentum in Seduction

At times you’ll have low momentum in meeting, dating, and picking up girls. What can you learn during low momentum periods – and how do you get out of them? Foreword: This post was written in 2021 during the COVID-19 pandemic. The advice offered here is universally valid, although the...

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Side notes:

I feel like my ego has grown too large. I need to find humility. I'm too nervous to experiment, and missing out on growth because I'm too stagnant in how I currently do things.

 

[Kvothe]

Feeling lows and much failures. Working through it as always.

 

[Kvothe]

Did a lot of inner work (meditations, self hypnosis, etc) before going out yesterday. Also peacocked. Was able to attempt a more social proof kind of night, with mixed success.

I wasted 45 minutes on a girl who was trying to use me for free stuff. Plus is that I did invite her home, which does align with a future goal of mine to invite at least one girl home with me every outing. But honestly, it was not the right move-I should have paraded her with me throughout the venue for social proof instead.

Open-hook was very good, but I tried to pull fast because she seemed like she was leaving. She denied, but said she wanted food. At this point, I fucked up by falling into her frame and buying her some churros after we left the bar. I walked with her for a bit, until we ended up at another venue waiting for her friend. She looked at me expectantly and said there was an ATM where I could withdraw cash to get a drink for us (since it was cash only). I just look at her, and tell her if she gets the first round, I'll get the second, to which she says she doesn't do that. She then half-heartedly says if I get the first round... but I just tell her I'm going to go.

I go back to the first venue and resume my attempt at building social proof. I am able to open sets and have some marginal conversations. Some girls it lasts longer than a few minutes. One that was interesting was a body rock I did, where I opened the girl, and then didn't sense much investment from her, so I kept walking. I heard her friends behind me say, "Wait what just happened", which I don't think is the right reaction to get.

The other sticking point in social proof game I'm having is with regards to re-engagement. Even if I leave and meet the girls again, they tend to go cold, so I'm a bit confused by that. I expect it has to do with me not being in set enough. So if I were constantly talking to girls, then re-engaging would work better, but yesterday my time split was more on the alone side. I will need to keep my nightgame goal next week of building social proof and butterflying around to make sure I am actually able to re-engage without issue.

No really substantial sets, and the bar is too crowded in some ways for good isolation.

Got one number which we'll see how that goes though.

 

[Kvothe]

1 approach today. Last night's cross game session helped refresh me today and the set hooked much better. Had a boyfriend but oh well.

Last night and today represented a reversion to girl's asking me for my name, so that was also good to see.

Additionally, masturbated today sans porn. Much more wholesome vibe for myself, and more healthy psychologically so that feels good. It feels easier, so I am going to continue trying to avoid pornography and sticking to my imagination.

 

[Kvothe]

10 or so approaches today. 2 numbers, though I have doubts on both of them. The mission of terrorism continues for this week, and then hopefully shift to focusing on hook/more calibrated as the approaches become easier. So long as the pressure is felt on the approach itself though, I need to work through that.

 

[Kvothe]

Goal for the week:
1. Really dig deep into opening, which means more detailed analyses in the journal-goals being figuring out how different approaches and angles, and hesitations affect a response
2. Dive into SMMA Immersion and starting using that for moving through hooks
3. Cut out low status things, such as trying to explain myself when a response isn't good, or using "excuse me", using laughter to defuse tension I feel
4. Fall back to approach game as and when instinctual approaches are not working

 

[Kvothe]

Struggling continues. Feelings wise-I'm worried I've regressed a lot, to the point where my conversational ability seems completely gone. Additionally, approach anxiety is not going away easily, and opens just are not responding positively.

Working through as per always, but feelings are down.

 

[Skills]

Struggling continues. Feelings wise-I'm worried I've regressed a lot, to the point where my conversational ability seems completely gone. Additionally, approach anxiety is not going away easily, and opens just are not responding positively.

Working through as per always, but feelings are down.

Something similar happened to me once after no gaming for a year... how I solved it was trying a new game style, trying a new different seduction style and diversifying game....also read this:

Observations - The reality distortion

I always write with analogies, I think it make stuff more understandable.... So you have this guys that have accomplished everything in their field "Bill gates" "steve jobs" "jordan" etc.. etc... Some of them if they are frank they tell you, how depress they were after they accomplish their...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Kvothe]

Something similar happened to me once after no gaming for a year... how I solved it was trying a new game style, trying a new different seduction style and diversifying game....also read this:

Observations - The reality distortion

I always write with analogies, I think it make stuff more understandable.... So you have this guys that have accomplished everything in their field "Bill gates" "steve jobs" "jordan" etc.. etc... Some of them if they are frank they tell you, how depress they were after they accomplish their...

www.skilledseducer.com

Thank you Skills, I appreciate your encouragement.

I'm never going to give up, like you-I'm in this until my dick falls off. With that said, I like documenting my down periods so when they happen again in the future, I can look back at how I felt and realize that it will be temporary.

I'm putting in the work, and eventually things will turn around. I also realized I removed certain aspects of my game that had been making a large difference in the past, so I need to be cognizant and add them back in.

 

[Kvothe]

Small improvements today. Focusing on Riker and some sex talk gambits, plus some riffing at home helped improve hook rate. Had one set that was going well, but I think I pushed on sex talk in an uncalibrated way. Note to self (again)-don't do sex talk on girls for whom english is not first language-especially in a loud environment where things can be misinterpreted. Keep it fun, flirty, and light-while building social frame. I do good on emotional stimulation, but social frame and sexual arousal need work.

Other bright notes from life. My usual spot has become okay for me-the bouncers and all the staff know and like me again, with the bartender giving me free drinks tonight. Opened sets in a way that was more calibrated and led to actual isolation, with improved chances for pull, though I blew it. I realize where I need to focus my energies to improve ratio, and get better results, so will continue to focus on that.

Daygame wise, I don't know how to deal with approach anxiety, but will continue at it, hopefully finding some wings as a handicap to put me in "performance mode", which for some reason leads me to be more confident in set. When people I know are evaluating me are watching me, I tend to do better. I don't want to rely on that, but I will use whatever mental tricks I need.

---

Reflections from the next morning

• I really need to cut down the teasing-I think cocky funny is counterproductive, and it's strange that my personality defaults to that. Some amount of it is good (and natural), and I definitely make girls giggle, but I get carried away by the reaction and then start going dancing monkey
• I really need to focus on the social dynamics-I can't just take a girl in a two set away from her friend for such a long period of time, especially in a way that builds up stimulation without social frame-I should have suggested going back to check on her friend on a high note, and then worked the friend to improve my odds
• I was dominant and leading in some really good ways-I need to channel that more
• Don't do sex talk in loud areas, move to quieter parts, or make the gambits shorter
• This girl wasn't providing much to the conversation, so I need to get ways to bring her in more, better SOTs, etc
• At the same time, she was in a high energy mood, so I should have not tried going deep at that moment, should have focused more on the fun vibes
• Given the girl's friend had a guy already, mine was primed to be picked up-I probably didn't need to risk as many risk plays as I did-being the socially cool, attractive guy while she's here traveling and her friend is already hooking up with someone is more than enough-doing more advanced techniques is overkill for this context, and just added risk
• My girl was not the alpha girl, so it was even more imperative I should have led to go back to her friend to check up on her-socially adept caring guy vibes and then get approval of the alpha girl
• Was really good body rocking and good opener about the vibe she was putting out to not make it truly direct-also well planned and executed given that it was largely a three set where it was difficult to find the opening
• Was very good target selection, assessing the social situation and realizing that it was a good opportunity for copycat-I just forgot the importance of friend groups

---

Will probably try to do these in depth reflections more. Game in the moment is not as much about thinking imo-you need to make things instinctual, so while I need to have these in my head, I also need my head to be clear and present. Reflecting after the fact helps make sense of these things to allow for both to take place, and change the bad habits so I become cognizant of it in field and remember. Keeping the thoughts in my head will never be a successful strategy of learning for me.

 

[Kvothe]

Thinking through my pulling to work on it. Have a variety of different options here for seeding a pull.

• If I get into dancing, go into SOT about how it helps connect you with your physicality, your own sensuality, and with this other person in front of you, and as both of you feel more open to express your sensuality, that only helps your connection grow and grow. Then talk about how the music for bachata is wonderful, but that it's usually too fast in clubs and bars for beginners, but that I recently made a playlist for myself with a lot of slower songs for practicing. Hopefully at some point she'll mention she likes dancing, or I qualify her on her interest in learning, and then I suggest that I'll have to teach her some moves and show her the playlist so we can practice sometime
• Wines. I have a good collection of different fruit wines that all have different taste profiles and are totally different than what people get to try. Loop in SOTs about how you can often pass by things you would never expect to be interested in, but if you open yourself up to new experiences, then suddenly, you might find yourself enjoying an experience you would never have otherwise.
• Tea: I do actually have a lot of teas, and I could probably mention the varieties of herbal teas/actual real teas. Go into same about the above with trying new things, but also focus on how the more time you spend focusing on something, the more meaningful it can become. This feeling of obsession you have just grows and makes you more and more obsessed, and more and more passionate.
• Art: I probably need to collect more art for this, and also it would be better if it were my own art.

Oh and of course, the biggest thing that has been missing the last few times I attempted to actually pull. DO IT ON A HIGH NOTE.

 

[Kvothe]

Had three dates in the past 4 days. I'm writing up the latest FR, but want to post some details from it here for safe-keeping.

---

Good sex talk, but need to avoid a few issues:

• Need to be aware of frames on her part that are inconducive to fast sex, and reframe-and on pace and leading, don’t pace so much it reinforces the frame
  • “Celibate phase”
    • “I get what you’re saying, especially when you’ve had some bad experiences recently… But one thing I’m more confused by, is that you seem to be associating the act of sex itself with these negative emotions, which seems similar to viewing sex negatively-am I interpreting that correctly?
      
      Ah ok, so it’s more about the guy. In that case, maybe celibate isn’t the right way to phrase it? Maybe you’re in more of a discerning phase. Like it isn’t sex per say that you’re trying to avoid, but you’re more trying to make sure this guy you’re with is able to arouse that passion, lust, and desire within you, while also helping you feel allowed to act upon these intense feelings that are generated within you?”
• Avoid giving her outs-let a girl reject herself
  • “I’m tempted to see if you want to stay with me, but I don’t want to make you miss your dinner”
  • Vs
  • “If I were to ask you to stay with me, and keep talking, and keep enjoying this wonderful night together… what would you say?”
  • “I’m really enjoying spending this time with you… With all the complexities of life, it’s incredibly likely that we won’t see each other again after this, but in this moment, right now, we can keep spending time together…”

Positives: more explicit conversations around sex, and girls are opening up to conversation better. Need to be better at sexual prizing though, and avoid ending up sounding too zany, which comes across way more provider-y than lover-y. This isn't to say that sex talk can compensate for this, it shouldn't be used in a compensating manner. I think the fundamentals that are important to getting more into a lover state are being a challenge to women, and the meta frame, along with frame control and reframing. Plus the vibe inner game stuff.

I really need to internalize that women are sexual freaks and love to fuck. I know this rationally, and communicate it to women, but I don't think I'm at the point where I truly have that mentality internalized. A part of that would inevitably lead to a shift in my vibe wherein a girl truly feels I know this, and as such lets down her guard and allows herself to truly let go with me. I don't know where this Madonna-Whore complex came from within, but I'm going to excise this fucking tumor fast.

Other thing: too many compliments. Need to expel that bad habit. Some qualification is good, but too much makes it too easy for a girl. I need to be more of a challenge.

I am also being too nice, and not dominant enough. Some levels of caution are good and prudent, but at the same time, I have to be willing to push things forward physically when necessary.

https://www.girlschase.com/article/mindsets/removing-fear-through-good-practice-rejection-part-1

Resistance Is Not Rejection (Rejection Part 2)

Resistance is not rejection. Pros know this and calibrate accordingly. Novices think it's the end of their chances with the girl they're talking to. Editor's note: while this is Part 2 of Alek's series on fear of rejection, we mistakenly published it first. You can read Part 1 here. Hey guys...

www.girlschase.com

 

[foggy]

I don't know where this Madonna-Whore complex came from within, but I'm going to excise this fucking tumor fast.

rip that fucking weed out!

 

[Kvothe]

rip that fucking weed out!

Don't know where that insidious shit came from, but I'm going to salt the earth of my brain where that seed germinated

 

[Kvothe]

I need to act with intent. This is a big issue for me, I'm noticing, because there are moments when I know I could go for an instant date, or where I have a girl on a date who is leaving to another country and where no opportunity will come back, and I don't push. Why don't I push?

Am I just approaching for approaching? Why am I not playing to win?

I'm getting tremendous responses from women I find beautiful over the last few days. I have to push harder. I have to push smarter. I need to channel the emotions I feel properly and not get detached from my sexual thoughts and intuition.

Acting With Intent

Lots of men go out to get women to "like" them, and never push hard or drive toward any concrete objective or end point. But to truly succeed with girls consistently, a man must have intent. One of the things that stuns me most, when going out with others, is noticing how some of the other men I...

www.girlschase.com

The entirety of the expert mindset section of Girls Chase is what I think I want to focus on. It's so weird having inner game be my biggest issue. My tech is good enough, and my fundamentals are wonderful. I obviously have room for improvement, but those are no longer my limiting factors. I have to develop a killer instinct and go for the close with more deliberate intent, and not just let things slide. This will be uncomfortable to practice, and I must drop my ego and become okay with being stupid and performing mistakes.

 

[Kvothe]

I'm also working on a game to improve myself with regards to https://www.girlschase.com/content/women-sex-objects-supercharge-your-game

The basic idea of this game is for every woman you see; old, young, beautiful, ugly; to imagine what they love the most about getting fucked. What position they like, how they would express themselves in a horny state. And then to add on, what you think they fantasize about to themselves when they masturbate, or day dream.

My goal is to start viewing women sexually, and to see EVERY women as a sexual creature. I expect that will increase my own persistence issues, while helping remove the madonna whore complex that seems to have sprung up in me.

 

[Kvothe]

Bad day today. Not because of lack of results, but because I was getting very good responses to my opens. But I'm not an approach artist. I'm here to close. Need to start going for the close. Girl doesn't stop, but is interested, walk with her. Close that shit out.

Think I'm past the AA phase for the most part. Time to implement the next phase-blow me or blow me out.

Approaching Girls in a Half-Assed Way

Do you approach girls, have it go a bit well, then eject without that great a reason? That’s a “half-assed approach” – and it’ll slow your learning curve. A lot of my early failures as a novice seducer I reflect on now as stemming from a particular problem I had back then, one endemic to most...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Kvothe]

Feeling down mood. Just worries that I'm not where I want to be and that I won't have the success I want. Too much comparing myself to successful others.

 

[Kvothe]

Truly feeling like a failure. Now from comparing myself to myself in the past. Stuck between things I want professionally and things I want sexually. Between what my family expects/wants from me, and what I care about.

Life isn't just about fucking women, but without it, I don't truly care about achieving the rest.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Truly feeling like a failure. Now from comparing myself to myself in the past. Stuck between things I want professionally and things I want sexually. Between what my family expects/wants from me, and what I care about.

Life isn't just about fucking women, but without it, I don't truly care about achieving the rest.

Hey dude! If you don't mind can you expand a bit on this?

I feel like I am at some similar juncture. I am trying to get into a new line of work and learning new skills professionally. But I also badly want to get my dating life back on track. Internally, I feel if I concentrate on dating hardcore over the next year, I will be more happy as that is the harder skill to get down but at the same time, I do have pressure or rather expectations from family and to be honest from myself as well to bag a job and start moving upwards in the new field simultaneously.

Ideally I envision my daily routine to be something like this.

I work and do my regular shit from 9-5 or 6 pm. Take a bit of a breather and then just walk around the city centre from 7-9 pm and approach girls and then get back relax and go to bed. If I had a date, I would schedule it in the same 7-9 pm timezone if it is a week day or on weekends. I want to hit the gym a couple of times a week but I regularly do some 15-20 minutes of HIIT at home just before jumping into the shower and I think for me now that is good enough.

This is what I am envisioning to get to as a sort of balanced lifestyle that can be sustained for years, Main thing is to be able to handle all the emotions that come with rejection and flakes and ghosts and brush them off as part of the process and not let them fuck up my routine and just sticking to this. I am trying to work towards this. Would love to hear what you are thinking.