The Ladykiller Chronicles

[Kvothe]

Some nice improvement approach-wise today. 2/4 approaches hooked well, and 1/4 was kind of a hook, but not really because it wasn't really an approach.

Trying to implement Bacchus' eye contact notes, though the biggest difficulty there is remembering to do so and trust the animal instincts in the moment.

I also got some notes regarding the ratio of me talking to girls talking. At the moment, I'm talking too much. It feels like I'm being a little bit of a talking monkey. Action items there are to talk more slowly, and let the girl fill in the gap and invest, instead of me spending more time talking.

Took a day off today, so spent the morning cleaning and reading up on sexual prizing, then went to the park to see if I could do some approaches before the rush came in.

Dressed simply, dark blue jeans, black chelseas, and a white, continually better fitting as I lose weight T shirt, and a black bracelet on one hand.

---

#1

I'm walking towards the park, and I see this blond girl in black leggings with a phenomenal looking butt. I know I have to approach her. I walk past her, and slow my gait a little bit, before looking over my shoulder and starting.

Spoiler

Me: Woah... Do you know who you look exactly like?
Her: Who?
Me: Hmmm... well the thing is... many people have different opinions on different celebrities... so... people can't decide if the like or hate someone... if they're famous
Her: Mhmm
Me: Have you ever seen National Treasure? I think you look just like the lead actress in that
Her: Yeah I have... Thank you!

So the thing here, I should have held the pause for longer after finishing the second line, and let her qualify right there. Because I started speaking quickly, that opportunity was missed.

Spoiler

Me: But you have a different energy to you... You're from somewhere else originally?
Her: I've actually lived here for 11 years
Me: Ah I can tell that about you... You have this self-assuredness to you... Like when I saw you walking as I passed by, you had this confident way to you... Almost like the whole city is an extension of your apartment... Does that make sense?
Her: Thank you! And yeah it does
Me: I can tell you still really pay attention to the things and people that cross your path... that interest you
Her: Yeah, I do
Me: You know, I've noticed something fascinating about the park at this time of day <gestures to the park>. It's almost like a microcosm of the city... when the city is quiet with everyone at work... even the park is...
Her: Yeah, definitely
Me: What brought you out today, just gallavanting outside of work?
Her: I actually had a break between meetings and was going to see a friend quickly

So some issues here as well. Again, I am talking to much to lower the tension, which isn't good. There should be a little tension being built that causes her to invest in the conversation more. Considering she was smiling, body fully turned to me from the beginning of this section, this seems like something I could have done without issue. I need to get girls more involved in the process, instead of treating seductions like a one man show I can talk my way through. One unanticipated side effect of Riker is that I'm starting to like to hear the sound of my own voice lol.

Anyway, those are the main points, the conversation drops to some less interesting topics, before I discuss connection. She also has a limited amount of time to see her friend, so I tell her it would be cool to continue this conversation another time. Again this part feels weird thinking back because it felt more like me talking to her, as opposed to a mutually engaging conversation.

She says she has a boyfriend and I don't persist.

---

#2

I'm sitting on a bench at the park, reading a book my dad told me about. I see this girl walk by, and my gut tells me she's just visiting. However she's not that cute, but I eventually talk myself into approaching for the practice. She's wearing a pink tank top, with a lot of freckles on her face, and a slight muffin top. She turns out to be Arabic.

I see her taking a picture of a monument, and stand next to her, ostensibly waiting for a light to change. But it's more overt than I would have liked. I pretend to be eyeing the same view as her, but that moment lasts a little long, and she turns to face me, and finds me looking at her (bad pre-opener).

Spoiler

Me: It's a beautiful view isn't it?
Her: Yeah it is
Me: You're visiting?
Her: Yeah, I am... but I've been here before a bunch of times
Me: Very cool, this park has its own beauty to it, where it kind of matches the overall energy, the hustle and bustle of the city
Her: Yeah it does
Me: Where are you from?
Her: I'm from LA
Me: Ah, I could tell that about you... You have this energy and enthusiasm to you
Her: Haha, and I'm not dead inside yet?
Me: Exactly... so many people are zombies, but I can tell you really pay attention to the things and people that cross your path... Does that make sense?
Her: Yeah, very true... I was just playing chess with a man over there
Me: Did you win?
Her: No! He was so good
Me: Haha, it's interesting right... Have you ever noticed the best way to get to know yourself... is by meeting new people?
Her: I'm not sure
Me: Like when you meet someone new... it can go in a bunch of different ways... you can find out things you like, things you don't like... and some things you didn't even know existed before
Her: Mhmm <no fully facing me and not the sidewalk she had been about to walk down>. Are you some kind of philosoper?
Me: Haha no, it's just something I've noticed while living in this city... and meeting so many people... Some you can't have a good conversation with, while others... it feels like you've known each other for far longer than you have
Her: Is that how you feel right now?
Me: Every time <hand over my heart>
Her: Haha your hand over your heart
Me: <smiles> If I were to ask you... what you like to do outside of eating, sleeping, and working... what would you say?
Her: Swimming... in the ocean
Me: Interesting choice... what is it that does it for you? Is it the freedom and independence... or just the feeling of experiencing the cool water-
Her: -I like feeling the insignificance of everything
Me: Ah I see... That reminds me of when I used to scuba dive
Her: I actually do scuba dive
Me: So you get it... The feeling of descending into a reef just makes you feel so small and insignificant... Hey, I'm actually planning to get a coffee, you should join me, and we can talk more about spending time in the ocean
Her: I would, but I want to go to my hotel and take a nap
Me: Ah okay... How long are you in town for?
Her: A few more days
Me: Cool, so why don't we plan to do something tomorrow or the day after... maybe grab a cup of coffee
Her: I actually am in sort of a weird place
Me: Let me see your hands real quickly
Her: <shows me hands>
Me: Cool, no rings
Her: <Laughs> No rings is actually the problem... there used to be a ring
Me: Ahh, I see...
Her: Yeah. I don't want to send the universe mixed signals
Me: I think the universe... wants us to experience all the pleasure and adventure to be had in life... You seem like an adventurous, spontaneous kind of person
Her: Yeah, and that's what keep getting me into trouble
Me: Haha, I get that <should have paced this better>. A lot of my friends who are spontaneous and adventurous, they really follow their passions, and do what they want to do in the moment...
Her: Mhmm
Me: So why don't we try to meet for a coffee... In the worst case, it'll just be a fun story we can look back on when we're 40.
Her: Okay, why don't you take my number... I've been giving out my number all day
Me: That's okay. I'm actually walking this way, why don't you come with me since you're going that direction

So then we walk up the street a bit, before parting ways. Good practice. I should have paced better when asking her out, since she was clearly engaged at one point, and it had broken off. Her comment of her adventurousness being a problem leads me to believe she's relatively open sexually, which may have caused the issue. Pacing on her comment would have been better.

Me: I think the universe... wants us to experience all the pleasure and adventure to be had in life... You seem like an adventurous, spontaneous kind of person
Her: Yeah, and that's what keep getting me into trouble
Me: Yeah, being an adventurous sort of person can lead you down some unexpected paths... But in my experience, taking those paths that other people are too scared... too worried about being judged on... allows you to surrender to the currents life takes you down... and derive the most pleasure from

---

#3

I approached this two set by sitting next to them and reading my book. They have a dog, and I ask to pet it. I make a comment about dogs being like owners, and they don't bite. A bit later, the dog acts as a good boy and comes and sits next to me, so I absentmindedly pet it. The girls see this and start laughing. I use this to start a bit more conversation, but ultimately am unable to charm my way into a better conversation.

---

#4

Just a more uncalibrated opener. Girl was sitting on a bench, very engrossed in her book while wearing headphones. I open with bad tonality, and timidity. She just nods her head, then gets up and leaves.

Bummer.

---

So 1 number today that if I can convert to a meet should prove to be fruitful. And my hook rate continues to go up as I refine my technique.

I need to start carrying water with me, as my voice quality goes down as I become dehydrated.

I also persisted past a boyfriend objection, and got the number, though not in as charming a way as possible.

Improving charm, focusing on trusting my inner animal instinct, and calibrating continue to be the number one focuses right now.

 

[Kvothe]

No approaches today. I went out, but didn't find any sets that I could approach. Bummer, as I am going to have a tough time approaching over the next few days during the day. Hopefully will be able to manage some nightgame approaches/do some reading/Riker

 

[Kvothe]

Same as yesterday. Spent most of the evening reading about frame control. Updated goals to focus/analyze what frames I've set and think about how I can reframe them.

Useful links:

What Is a Frame?

Frames are one of the key cornerstones in pickup and seduction. But what exactly are they? Hey guys, and welcome back! Today I’d like to discuss theory and cover frames. Frame control, framing, and frames are key cornerstones in pickup and seduction. If I had to keep only one tool in my arsenal...

www.girlschase.com

Why Frame Control Is the Most Important Tool in Seduction

Frame control makes the difference between becoming her lover or getting stuck in her friend zone. If you want sex with the women you meet, this information is vital. Contents 1. What Is a Frame? 2. Frame Control 3. The Importance of Strong Frames 4. The Stronger Frame Wins 5. Early Frame...

www.girlschase.com

How Frame Control Affects Your Entire Interactions with Girls

In this follow-up article on frame control, we discuss – from a macro perspective – how the frames you set affect your whole interaction with a girl. Hey, guys. Welcome back. If you read my previous article on frames (which you should, as frames and frame control are some of the most important...

www.girlschase.com

Frame Control Methods to Get Women in Bed Fast

In this series of posts about frame control, we’ve learned what good frames are and why they work. Now let’s talk about the methods you can use to set frames. Hey, guys! Welcome back. In previous weeks, we have discussed what frames are, why they are important, and what constitutes a good frame...

www.girlschase.com

Frame Control Examples: Out-Frame Anyone

In "How to Talk About Yourself on Dates," a commenter named Al asked about an article on frame control - examples and advanced/detailed technique: “One future article I would love to see is a more advanced and detailed article on frame control. I have read a forum thread by you on advanced frame...

www.girlschase.com

Get Rock-Solid Frame Control with the Women You Like, Guaranteed

Frame control is an incredibly necessary thing for you to master, both internally and externally, for finding success with women. Guys that have it get their way with girls. Guy who don't get steamrolled by girls. You see it go both ways every day. If it feels like an intangible topic, it isn't...

www.girlschase.com

Early Frame Announcements: His and Hers

In community-speak, an Early Frame Announcement -- often abbreviated to "EFA" -- is something a person does when faced with a new potential relationship, the terms of which he or she would like to control. In laymen's terms, this is how you set relationship expectations at the commencement of...

www.girlschase.com

Some simple things. Two days ago the girl who was traveling had a frame of being tired. I should have kept pushing forward, suggesting that being tired was something to be done when back home and relaxing, and how the true joy of traveling is in being adventurous, being spontaneous, and overcoming tiredness to make new memories.

She also had a frame of not wanting to jinx the universe with the person who had given her a ring. A reframe there would have been that the universe is vast and complex, and trying to understand and avoid jinxes could cause you to miss opportunities right in front of you. That one of the most liberating parts of traveling is getting to make your own decisions without worrying what others will think of you.

[EDIT]
More specifically, I think this would benefit from a more regimented structure. Following the degrees of competence, I'll outline some ideas here.

Unconscious incompetence -> Conscious Incompetence
1. After conversations with people, write out the different frames that were observed, to become more aware of how frames are set
2. Write out the subframes involved with every frame, to start digging deeper into what is really constituting someone's frame
3. Write out reframes for frames/subframes involved with conversation, to get practice and familiarity with reframes and having my frame be superior

Conscious Incompetence -> Conscious Competence
4. In the moment, when a frame is noticed, use practiced familiarity to begin asserting superiority of your frame (in a fun, seductive manner)
5. After the fact, analyze how the frame interactions went, writing out the different subframes that were at play
6. Improve reframes through verbals, and iteratively make them more intuitive
7. Start paying attention to setting frames that are more conducive to fast intimacy between people

Conscious Competence -> Unconscious Competence
8. Keep practicing until frame control is just who you are
9. Avoid letting frame control competence prevent you from understanding when the position you are holding is wrong, which can prevent you from learning new things (remain humble)

I need to start on steps 1-3.

 

[Kvothe]

Was an intense weekend lol.

Will try to backfill as best as I can.

Friday

So on Friday I was celebrating a friend's birthday. We went to a loud bar where I couldn't really hear anything, which made the idea of approaching in the venue seem pointless to me. Plus with a lot of friends there I didn't want to. Excuses, so I should have figured out how to approach, or just gone for it without a care.

I left the party a little early (~2AM) and decided to do some night streetgame. I was wearing my favorite red floral guess dress shirt, on grey pants, with black desert boots.

---

#1

I saw this girl standing off to the side, waiting outside a bar. I try to induce an AI, but the girl doesn't really look at me (or at least I don't notice it).

Spoiler

Me: Hey, how's your night going?
Her: <sounding frustrated> It's okay, I'm just waiting for my friends to leave the bar
Me: Ah I see... I know it can be really frustrating when that happens... especially when you want to be doing your own thing
Her: But my friends are staying with me this weekend, so...

At this point, her friends come out of the bar, and she joins them.

Frame Analysis

I think I tried setting the right frame. That of frustration at having other people dictate how things ought to go for you, and the desire to strike it out on your own. Unfortunately I just didn't have the time to do more.

---

#2

I see this group of three girls, with one of them that I think is attractive. I post up near them, thinking I'll try out Lofty's "Jada" opener. Within the course of the few minutes I'm posted up waiting for a good opportunity, at least 3 different sets of dudes try to open these three girls. Each more uncalibrated than the last.

Let's call the three set, BB (one I'm interested in), AG, and F

I feel genuinely bad for the girls lol.

Anyway, I start moving, as I realize they aren't going to stop talking. I get close to the crosswalk, and then turn over my shoulder and open.

Spoiler

Me: Hey, can I ask you guys some relationship advice?
BB: <In skeptical/dismissive tone> Sure?
Me: It's not for me, it's for my friend, Jada <insert wtv name you want>. She's been single for a long time, and she recently met a guy she was vibing well with.

The moment I mention that the relationship advice is for a girl I know, all three girls turn to me and give me full attention.

Spoiler

Me: She was asking for advice on what she should do
BB: Does she want to fuck him?
F: Just fuck him
AG: Ignore the both of them, they're toxic haha. If she really likes him, she should do what she really wants to

Worth noting the above is my broken memory of the interaction, I don't think either BB or F were as explicit as I made them out to be above. At this point my memory of this interaction starts to become more hazy. But I don't really communicate the situation well, stammering over what situation my friend is, and not really able to discuss slut shaming or other useful topics in a calibrated way.

Frame Analysis

AG words: My friends are toxic for giving advice to fuck the guy or just not care
AG frame: Hooking up is okay, but not if it's meaningless
AG subframe: If I were to have sex with a guy, I'd want there to be a connection

The frame analysis here feels wrong, but I think it does give me a guideline for where to have steered the conversation. After that initial advice, I should have complimented their liberated attitude, and contrasted it with my upbringing and friend's upbringing of a more conservative household. Then discussed how it was only after moving out here, and having amazing adventures with girls like them that I realized that the mentality was unhealthy, and constricting.

Maybe discuss how mature I thought they were too.

 

[Kvothe]

Saturday was a tiring day.

Only 4 hours of sleep, so went to a birthday party in the afternoon, and tried approaching on the walk over. After the party, I went home and took a nap, before going back out. I had a few approaches, but only one worth discussing.

I'm wearing a pink dress shirt on black jeans with black desert boots.

---

#1

I see these two black girls, one in a neon pink dress, and the other one, with a face I'm more attracted too, and a more curvy figure.

Call them Neon and Charcoal (the one I'm interested in)

Spoiler

Me: Hey, do you guys know where X rooftop is?
Neon: <both girls come up in my space> We don't, but pull up the directions we'll help
Me: Sure <pulls up directions>
Neon: <In a ball-busting tone> Oh my god! Click the directions button <her hands are touching mine over my phone>. Do you even know how to use technology
Me: Oh haha, it's just so confusing to navigate around here

The above is the only important part here. What's worth noting is that the neon girl was very into me off the bat, or just very touchy (gotta assume attraction though). But I failed to respond back to her ball busting in a funny way.

A better response to the ball busting may have been:

Me: Do you always bust intriguing men's balls that you just met? <said with a sly smile and a wink>

Or I could have gone the more humorous route

Me: Trust me, I once tried following google's directions to get to Jersey and ended up in LIC. I wouldn't trust my phone for directions if I were lost in the middle of nowhere

Right now I'm leaning more towards option 1, as it feels more sexual, and more congruent with the frame I'm trying to present.

Frame Analysis

Neon: Busting my balls
Neon Frame: Are you a non-dominant man who's going to take my ball-busting?
Neon subframe: Dominant men are sexier

The main thing here is what I noted above. When given a response like that, I need to be faster on the draw and bust the girl's balls just as hard, otherwise I come across as weak and non-dominant.

---

#2

I go to another friend's party, and this one is a ridiculous rager. I try talking to some girls there, but am unable to set any good frames, so focus instead on just having a good time. I do end up inebriated.

Towards the end of the night, I'm with a tighter group of my friends, plus one of my friend's friend who I find cute. We go out to see Times Square at night, and the girl and I end up walking next to each other. I pace her really well, and start moving towards more SOT oriented topics, as well as sociological issues for girls like getting groped at parties, etc. But then another of my friends, who had been trying to get with this girl all night, enters the conversation, trying to bring the focus to him. While he's talking with us, the girl is still incidentally bumping into me, and paying much more attention to me than to my friend.

I'm slightly off-balance (from alcohol), so I end up bowing out because I mostly don't care. The social frame of trying to bring her back to my apartment, while both of us are drunk, when she's right next to her friend, amidst a group of a whole bunch of other friends, seems insurmountable to me. Once we walk back, I end up in my friend's bed next to her while we're all next to each other, and she passes out in like 2 seconds. Most likely too drunk, so I think a good call by me.

But it was good because I found out that some of my seductive verbal skills are becoming more automatic. I was using trance words, good adjectives all without really thinking about them.

 

[Kvothe]

Honestly thankful it rained today. I needed a rest day and some time to recharge.

Continuing on with the weekend.

Sunday

Went out, wearing a pink t shirt and dark blue jeans. Was surprisingly high momentum despite my tiredness. Worked out, then went outside to walk around.

---

#1

I was walking back from doing groceries. I see this girl wearing a blue floral dress, with headphones on. It was 90 degrees out. I walk past her, and open. She's sweating a lot in her face, and isn't as attractive as I'd hoped, but it's important to keep practice mentality.

Spoiler

Me: Hey, do you know who you look... exactly like?
Her: Who? <stops and removes headphones>
Me: Maybe this is a little strange... but you actually remind me a lot of my ex-girlfriend
Her: Really? That's crazy
Me: Yeah, but you have a different energy to you... You're not from here?
Her: No, I'm actually from CA
Me: No way, me too
Her: <fully turns to face me>
Me: I can tell you have this energy and enthusiasm to you... You're not a zombie... You seem like you're really paying attention to the things... and the people that cross your path... Someone bored with a place wouldn't do that
Her: Thank you! Yeah I try to be like that
Me: One second, let's move into the shade, it's so hot here
<We move a few steps into the shade>
Me: Like when you meet someone new... once you know they aren't crazy, what's your thought process like? Maybe you feel excitement, and maybe some hesitation too... But you know it could be an amazing story
Her: Yeah, that sounds about right

So right here, I should pause, and let her go on in some detail before I make a read about how she may feel. Let her describe how she feels when she meets someone new.

We talk a bit more, and I find out she's in town for a wedding and is leaving in a few days. I suggest we grab a coffee or something before she leaves, and she excitedly agrees in the moment. She's also on her way to meet her sister, so I can't do any insta-date stuff.

I do play the imagine game with her, and she says she'd go to Chile. Unable to set any interesting frames here about non-judgemental attitudes, but I probably should have discussed courtship in different parts of the world, and how places that are warmer tend to be more touchy, and more forward.

She did not respond to my texts though, so seems unlikely to continue.

---

#2

I am walking, and at this junction, I intend to go after one girl, but she's walking pretty fast. I notice a girl behind me, who is in a nice sundress. I have this hangup about opening girls whose faces I haven't seen. I need to get over it and go for girls if their bodies attract me.

Anyway, I follow her, then open over my shoulder.

Spoiler

Me: Woah! Hey, do you know who you look... exactly like? <I stop>
Her: Who? <stops a few steps ahead of me>
Me: <walking forward a few steps so I'm in line with her> This is kind of crazy, but you look exactly like my ex girlfriend
Her: What? I'm not your ex girlfriend <said in more bored-dismissive rather than teasing tone>
Me: Haha, it's true.
Her: I don't believe you!
Me: Haha, okay... You do though... But you have this different energy to you <she turns more fully towards me at this point>... You're not originally from here?
Her: No
Me: I could tell... You seem like you have this energy and enthusiasm to you... You're not a zombie
Her: Mhmm
Me: I can tell you really pay attention to the things... and the people that cross your path... that intrigue you
Her: Yeah, that's true actually
Me: It's nice to meet people like that... Like when you meet someone new... once you know they aren't crazy... you probably feel some excitement, and maybe some hesitation too... but you know it could be an amazing story
Her: Yeah. Hey are you walking this way, I'm running late for something actually
Me: Yeah, let's go... So where are you from?
Her: X
Me: No way, the girl I dated was also from there
Her: What? No, I don't believe you
Me: She was haha... She told me how beautiful the beaches, and the forests there were
Her: They are... but it's just such a coincidence
Me: I haven't been, but I've been to Costa Rica, and I remember how much I loved being on the beach and exploring the forest

And so forth, though the memories fade. I grab her number, telling her we should continue this conversation over a coffee, and I expect her to give me a fake number, but its real, and she replies the next day. I think my options for texting were not really good though, as I don't get a response back after I respond to her response.

Frame Analysis
Her: I don't believe I look like your ex girlfriend/I don't believe the girl you dated was from X country I am from
Frame: You don't look like the type of person who usually goes for the type of girl I am
Sub frame: He's not my usual type
Sub frame: He is just saying the words and doesn't mean them

The solution to the above frames I opted for was to treat it like I would treat anyone who calls me a liar on something that's obviously true. I laughed about it and treated it like it was so obvious that there was no reason for me to lie. I think this is a good, strong frame to get over her not believing me.

---

#3

I see this girl wearing a mask, and I want to try approaching a girl in a mask to see if anything has changed from a few weeks ago. I put on my mask, and walk up to her.

It isn't very good. Masks are still something to avoid when approaching women.

 

[Kvothe]

Monday

Back to work, and so, so tired from the weekend.

I finish up, and decide to take my book with me so I can read at the park for a little bit. I wear a linen shirt, my black messenger bag, dark blue jeans, and black chelseas.

---

#1

I spot this girl walking slowly a little ahead of me, and I walk to catch up to her. She's wearing a black denim skirt and black shirt, with the purse strap accentuating her curves in a truly sensual manner. Taking advice, I pay attention to her butt to try and attune to my more primal instincts, attempting to enter a more trance-like state.

I pass by her, and she ends up looking older than I had previously estimated. I pass by and stop by a cross walk, and see her there. I remember my practice mentality and open anyway.

Spoiler

Me: Hey, how's you day going?
Her: It's not bad <she has an audible accent>, it's very, very hot. I say this knowing it's going to rain soon and that I prefer it warm
Me: Haha, I get that... there's something about this weather that just makes you feel more adventurous, and more in the mood for something exciting, don't you think?
Her Yes, definitely
Me: I can hear you have an accent... You're not originally from here?
Her: I'm actually from California!
Me: Oh, really?
Her: No, I'm German
Me: Haha, thank god, I know a lot of people from CA and I was wondering if I've been missing their accent this entire time
Her: Haha
Me: I can tell something interesting about you though
Her: What?
Me: You have this energy and enthusiasm to you
Her: That's good, I was worried I had lost it from living here for a while
Me: No, I can tell you still really pay attention to the things... and the people that cross your path... that intrigue you <my tonality changes quite a bit here, and pacing feels much better, but I revert back>
Her: Thank you for saying that! It's true, I do pay attention.

So already there's some good stuff here. I was surprised by how quickly she hooked, and how much she was giving to the conversation. I deep dive a bit about her past, and find out she graduated from some form of school almost 18 years ago (this puts her anywhere in the 36-45 range lol), but she's still got a really nice body and face. I try suggesting an insta-date

Spoiler

Her: What are you doing right now?
Me: I was actually planning to go to the park to read for a bit... but I was going to grab a coffee first... Why don't you join me? It's so exciting to explore a new connection
Her: I actually have plans, I have to move apartments and then cook dinner for my friends
Me: Ah okay, we'll have to do it another time then
Her: <Pause> Sure, why not?
Me: Cool

I grab her number and we exchange names. We continue for a little bit, and I use some trance words, but once again forget to use weasel phrases. I need to do more weasel words than "Have you ever noticed...", "If you were to..." and "If you were to..."

We walk to the end of the street, where we both part ways. I ask her if she's more of a coffee or drinks kind of girl, and she says she's good with either. We then part ways.

I texted her, but have not gotten a response back yet sadly.

---

I do two other approaches. Both of the "Do you know who you look like variety. Both flop. I think part of the issue is I'm leaving too long of a pause between telling girls who they look like, and then continuing into the rainbow ruse. This pause causes girls to eject before I have time to really start immersing them.

Something to work on.

 

[Kvothe]

I continue to be mentally tired, though less so after 9 hours of sleep. Another good night of that and I should be good as new. Ready to get absolutely wrecked by this upcoming weekend.

The weather decides not to make it rain today, so out I go. But I decide to come back relatively quicker than usual to continue recharging.

It feels like it's about 90 degrees out, with a humidity that adds a weight to the air. I'm wearing my dark blue jeans, with a salmon-orange t shirt. Black desert boots to complete the outfit. A casual, but somewhat nondescript look (yes I know what nondescript means, and the outfit was not very eye-catching haha).

The first warm-up approach, as expected, goes awfully. Just open her to get myself in the mood of talking to strangers.

Only do one approach after.

---

#1

I see this girl walking and post up waiting for her to walk by, and then follow her. She stops at the door to some place, and I realize she's waiting for someone so I eject. I walk around a bit, and unsurprisingly see her talking to someone at the door, so I think I'll try approaching some other girls.

A little time passes, and I have done my warmup, and am close to feeling like I should just go home, when I walk one last time. I see the same girl walking towards me.

I decide to try something a little more experimental. I know it doesn't follow what others have told me, so I treat it fully experimentally to see what happens. Instead of passing her, then walking past and opening over shoulder, I basically stop in place and start opening her that way. Kind of like a policeman stop, but feeling more natural, like I just noticed you and thought this about you sort of vibe.

I do want to note my hypothesis with this is that it will only really work if the girl has noticed you before you do an open. So ideally, if you catch her making eye contact with you, then it may make sense to stop and have her stop the same way. Also less likely to work on a busy street than a more calm one. Her noticing you first is key though.

Maybe if there were a kind of pre-opener where you catch her attention as you walk toward her, without actually looking in her eyes, and then making eye contact once that's done. Sort of like inducing the AI as you walk up to her, but with your focus elsewhere. I'm thinking some kind of glamorous movement I could do to a prop I have at the time. Something for me to think about. I still expect that the over the shoulder, walking in front opener will be my mainstay, though it might be fun, intellectually, to play around with experimenting on occasion.

Spoiler

Me: Hey, do you know who you look... exactly like?
Her: Who? <semi-smile, attention not fully turned to me>
Me: This is kind of crazy... but you actually remind me of a girl I used to date
Her: No way! <more excited>
Me: Yeah, but you have a different energy to you... You're not originally from here?
Her: No, I'm not actually
Me: I could tell... you have this energy and enthusiasm to you
Her: I do?
Me: Yeah, have you ever noticed (didn't notice I used a weasel phrase here haha) that a lot of the people who walk around... are just zombies?
Her: Mhmm
Me: Like I can tell they don't really pay attention to the things... (longer pause) and the people that cross their path... you seem different
Her: Thanks! I definitely try to be
Me: Like when you meet someone new, who intrigues you... once you know they aren't crazy... what's going on in your head?
Her: Once I know they aren't crazy... hmm
Me: Yeah... Maybe you feel some excitement...
Her: Yeah, I do! I'm excited at the chance to make a new connection with someone
Me: Where are you originally from?
Her: I'm from X! Way different than here
Me: Yeah, it is. I actually have a friend who lives there, he tells me that it's a very vibrant place
Her: It's up and coming
Me: I remember when I first moved out here, everyone told me the weather would be the end of me
Her: It's only a few months of the year though
Me: Exactly, and the city is just so fun
Her: Where are you from?
Me: <Pause> Why don't you take a guess?
Her: Uh <guesses where I'm from as I help her get to it>
Me: Yeah, exactly
Her: Nice! I got it
Me: Yeah... <I notice two people about to walk directly into us> Hey let's move off to the side real quick, I don't want to get run over
Her: Sure!
Me: If I were to ask you... what you like to do outside of sleep, eat, and work... what would you say?
Her: Ummm... I like painting! And hiking, and walking
Me: Awesome, so very natural and creative
Her: Yeah!
Me: What is it about painting that does it for you? Is it capturing something on a blank canvas... or maybe the almost meditative-
Her: I think I like being able to create something
Me: That's very cool... I find that being creative is so important in day-to-day and I don't feel like I get to use it much. Do you remember how it felt when you first started?
Her: Yeah, I'm lucky I do get to do it... I'm actually in marketing
Me: That's awesome... Hey listen, I'm actually on my way to grab a coffee, why don't you join me... I'd love to hear more about how you got into painting
Her: I'm actually on my way to dinner with a friend, but thank you
Me: No worries, we'll have to do it another time though <said with sly smile>
Her: Yes, definitely
Me: Let me get your number... Are you more of a coffee, or drinks kind of girl?
Her: I like both!
Me: Perfect! Where are you guys going?
Her: I'm not sure, somewhere in the area haha...
Me: Mhmm, I recently moved to the area myself... I used to live somewhere else, but it was just too out of the way
Her: Same... I didn't have any good restaurants around me
Me: <Notices she seems like she's about to leave> I don't want to make you late for dinner, but it was really nice meeting you
Her: Same!
Me: I'll talk to you soon, have a great time tonight!
Her: You too!

Okay so lots of good things. Experimenting with my own decisions-always a positive to be empirical about thoughts. And consistency continues to build and make approaching so much more exciting, fun, and enjoyable.

One thing I missed today was visualizing. I need to make that a bigger part of the approach. Staring at the butts, imagining being sexual to build that sexual vibe. Thinking less. All important and all help build the sexual arousal key.

I attempted to close. One thing I took away from reading this is that I need to aim to close every girl. And here, I went for the insta-date. I need to start doing this more. Also a rejection to an insta date makes asking for the number trivial and not a big deal. You can just say, "we'll have to do it another time then" and boom, you have the number. It's so much brighter to be working to improve my number -> date ratio than my approach -> hook ratio. 3 months is what it took to build that consistency. On the bright side, thanks to body-oriented therapy and improving my baseline verbals, I expect any attempts to recover to this stage if I ever have to suffer another long break will be easier than the past recovery has been, assuming I keep my verbals in good shape through practice.

Voice pacing improves, and I am starting to add better pregnant pauses to places to add some sexuality. I also did some triangle gazing and the girl smiled as she noticed me doing it.

Voice tone could have been better.

 

[Kvothe]

Only one approach today. A streettime nightgame, while somewhat buzzed.

Went out for a friends birthday party celebration. Hit up a couple of bars before leaving them to get home to sleep semi-early. It's Thursday, and I'm dressed up, and it's warm, and I'm already out. So I decide that doing a few approaches won't hurt.

I was dressed to the 9s. My second favorite outfit I have. Grey jeans, black desert boots, white t shirt, light blue blazer, and black bracelet. Only better outfit imo would have been black pants, but they had to be washed.

I see this one girl walking. She's attractive, blue eyed, a deep cut dress revealing ample assets. I make eye contact with her, and give a small smile, with some good eye contact. She comes up to me... and starts talking absolute nonsense. This girl is gone... lol. So I make sure to find her friend, and tell them to get home safe. Not worth the risk, or hurting the girl.

---

#1

I decide to make one last round around my block before I head home. As I'm walking, I spy a very cute girl sitting next to her friend on a sidewalk bench thing. As I'm passing by, I catch her making eye contact with me. I pause, and just look at her and open.

Spoiler

Me: Hey, how's the vibe at this bar?
Her: The what? I'm not sure
Me: The vibe
Her: Oh the vibe, it's really cool!
Me: Very nice... what did you think I had said?
Her: How's the bottomless haha
Me: Ahha, it's far too late for that I think. If I were to ask you... <aimed at the girl's friend too> how your night was going on a scale of 1-10, what would you say?
Her: It's really good!
Friend: Yeah, it's been really fun
Her: We're actually visiting from Milwaukee, and came to town
Me: Very exciting <I go and I sit right next to her, not asking for permission>... How would you rate it on a scale of 1-10 <her friend at this point just lets us talk>
Her: About a 9!
Me: That's awesome! Do you know that feeling... when a night has been absolutely amazing... and you know if you just let go, enjoy...
Her: It can get even better?
Me: Exactly
Her:
Me: What have you guys been up to tonight?
Her: We actually went to this bar's basement, it was so cool
Me: No way... how would one get into there?
Her: <Shows stamp on wrist> You just need this, and they'll let you in
Me: Ah, I do appear to be missing that
Her: Here, lick you wrist
Me: <Pauses, then licks wrist>
Her: <Presses her wrist directly into my wrist, and tries to rub the stamp into my skin lol>
<It doesn't work>
Me: Bummer, but neat trick
Her: Yeah...
Me: How do you like the city compared to Milwaukee?
Her: It's so cool!
Me: Yeah, I love how there's just so much to do, so much to see... and sometimes, as you're going around... you meet interesting characters... people you can make a real, genuine connection with
Her: Yeah, it's part of the reason I want to move here. Do you live around here?
Me: Yeah, I'm actually a few minutes away
<We get interrupted by their gay friend who starts complimenting another group of people, and then a random girl from their group starts barging into the conversation, and so I just remain chill and calm>

I do transition a bit into discussing the difficulties of life as a girl, talking about shitty guys at the club, and the pleasure of meeting someone who likes you for you. I need to re-read Lofty's journal to get a better grasp of what routes I can take with this. Off the top of my head, I can think of non-judgementalness, comparing men's sexual braggacio with slut shaming, how most women don't orgasm from hetero sex in hookups. Lots of possibilities.

Anyway, they are waiting for an uber that's already been called. She's with a group of friends as well, so I'm not sure how much pulling is an option. I probably should have gone for it anyway, given that I'm not going to see her again anyway. But I suggested we meet later, and since my phone was dead, I gave her my number. She immediately face times me lol. Unfortunately, my shitty-ass phone decides that it's just not going to register that, so I have no way to contact this girl at all.

Yeah, I should have just tried for the pull. Have to remember that in the future.

Fun two interactions though. Enjoyable, and the scent of possibility lingers, waiting to be seized by me when I finally decide to let myself go and just go with my animal instinct.

 

[Kvothe]

Went out yesterday doing solely nightgame. Unfortunate situation with wings, namely they were worse than having none. Issues of going out with uncalibrated friends. Had to do it for a bit, before doing some street nightgame on my own.

I was dressed in my favorite red floral dress shirt and grey pants. It was pleasantly cool, but cold enough that I was shivering somewhat. I'm a creature of the extreme warmth. Maybe I should consider moving to Florida.

I don't remember the majority of the conversations, though in general I tried to steer towards the topics Lofty has discussed, like how women get groped in nightclubs, and how when you meet someone who you feel a genuine connection with, it's very rare. I think I may have gone overboard in this topic though, and should switch between better SOTs.

---

#1

I'm with my friends at a bar, and they go to order a drink. I follow, and this cute black girl is near me. I turn to her over my shoulder and just ask how her night is going. She bites, and we start talking. I try to go into more exciting topics, but the loudness of the bar (it wasn't that loud, but I am hard of hearing in these kinds of environments) makes it feel like it's difficult to talk. My voice also doesn't seem to carry well in loud venues, and I talk fast which lowers the sexuality. I also failed to visualize, which is annoying, and something that will recur throughout the night.

Other issues were I should have tried moving the girl. I didn't do that for most of these girls, and therefore it also makes sense that they didn't progress. I didn't move fast enough or pay attention to any escalation windows.

---

#2

A random set of two girls is hanging out with my larger group of friends. The girl I'm interested is not locked in, so I open her by asking some variation of how her night is going, and asking how she knows the members of my group. I go into the groping conversation, which does lead to a fascinating conversation which I didn't used to have. However, I may have tried milking this too much regarding guys who are creepy, and she responded:

Her: Well it's not THAT bad, there are still plenty of guys who are totally normal and cool

Which kind of breaks the bubble I'd been trying to build. The key to note there is that I think I was almost making women out to be victims too much, as opposed to focusing on the contrast against when you do meet someone exciting. Also, I need to get better at making the conversation feel more subtle about the two of us. Maybe the girl isn't fully immersed, but I've been noticing these expressions as I talk about making a connection with someone new, where the girl seems like she's seeing what I'm doing and laughing at it. But it's probably better to assume attraction here and assume she knows what I'm doing and is appreciative of the subcommunication.

Again, I didn't try to move this girl. I need to remember to move girls when in conversation and get that lock in to progress the interaction.

---

#3

I'm standing in line with just one friend for pizza. I hear these girls approaching asking whether they should stand in line, and I just join their conversation and transition it to talking about more exciting topics. Again, perhaps a little too overboard on the connection, using it as a hammer instead of a scalpel. At least this time I try to get the girls to come with us for something, but my friend here ruins the set.

I'm talking to the girl, and remembering SECT, am moving closer to the girl, and trying to improve eye contact. I need to focus on the first S to improve the sexuality of my voice. I suggest after they order their food that we find a place we can all eat together. The girl I'm talking to initially agrees, but she's also ordered a pasta, at a 99 cent pizza place, and that takes 15 minutes to make. I tell her I'll wait outside with my friend since he's just standing awkwardly there, and for them to join us when the food comes out. I expected the pasta would be done in like two minutes. Anyway, my friend is not interested in the girls, and just wants to go home.

Eventually, the girls come out, and we walk a bit, and I point in the direction of the benches. As I had guessed a little earlier, the girls say they want to go home, and before I can try to convince them otherwise, my friend tells the girl I'm going for that she should give me her number. I'm basically locked out of suggesting to keep hanging, so I grab the number, and they tell us they'll hit us up today to meet (lol sure). I know my friend was doing what he thought was best, but sheesh.

Anyway, she sends me a reply to my name around 3AM, so we'll see what happens. As I have no good wings, I'm not really sure what I can do here lol.

Frame Analysis
When grabbing the number, the girl says that they have plans into the evening tonight, and that we should get together and I could show them all the good sights

Frame: Platonic guy friends show their friends all the sights in the city
Sub frame: These guys are platonic
Subframe: Seeing them tomorrow is safe and fine
Reframe: I'm not sure what plans we have tomorrow night, so it may not be able to work out... We should keep hanging out right now, when we know we are free... Isn't the point of traveling to be spontaneous like this, and to surrender yourself to the moment, and the feelings that come along with it?

Main theme here is to practice persistence.

---

#4

Last real approach. I see this girl wearing a black romper, and it keeps riding up. This excites a primal part of me. She's with two friends, and they're trying to cut a line by being super nice to the bouncers. The girl I want to talk to is standing back, while her friends talk to the bouncers.

I go next to her, and play on my phone, trying to induce an AI. I don't know if this works, as I don't see her turn my direction using my peripherals. But at some point I just open by asking how her night is going, on a scale of 1-10. We have a brief conversation, where I run the connection SOT, though for some reason this feels like it's falling flat. Maybe I need to better immerse her in conversation with me before this works, or maybe it's something better nonverbals/fundamentals will improve the reception of.

Either way, we play some guessing games and she's able to pinpoint facts about me pretty well. I should have used this as an opportunity to compliment how perceptive she is, and then done a cold read comparing her to her friends. She was more laid back, but some of her reactions to events leads me to believe she's impulsive when she feels strongly about something (would also set a good frame).

I should have moved her at a high point, telling her let's sit down, and that I was enjoying talking to someone so perceptive. If she still wanted to go inside with her friends, I could have told her to get me in as well, so we could keep talking.

She points at her friend to introduce me at one point, and I way too excitedly wave and smile. My vibe should be more chill and smooth. A smooth guy wouldn't act super excited to meet someone. They'd look, give a sly smile, and wave, maybe gesture the friend to come over so they can say hello.

 

[Kvothe]

Did three approaches yesterday. Notes will be less for obvious reasons.

The first approach was solid, and she hooked well before I grabbed number. She didn't respond to my text, and she's not cute enough for me to want to continue working towards it.

Next approach was also okay, but nothing too interesting.

https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/passions-ignited.24550/ so that's my first lay since November 2019. What a dry streak, and it's finally over. A lot of firsts. First time I've brought a girl to orgasm. First black girl. She's very pretty, fun, and intelligent.

I met her again yesterday, and spent more enjoyable hours together. I made her squirt which was exciting.

My main worry now is that I'm at the point where my momentum, and skills continue to grow. But I also struggle to avoid getting too serious with girls, and so I have to make sure to keep this strictly casual, which is tough since I've met her friends. I also don't want to hurt or lead her on, and so I have to deal with the fact that eventually this will end, and that I have to let her down since I cannot provide her with what she wants. Like I told her yesterday during pillow talk, we can't control others, and we have to learn to enjoy the moments as they come, that way we can look back on the moments we had, without any regrets or remorse.

 

[Velasco]

I have to make sure to keep this strictly casual, which is tough since I've met her friends

Have you already forgotten that her friends are incredibly sex positive? its fine, brother. my girl's girl and guy friends, her sister (but not her mother ) are fine with the fact that me and her have been together for 3 years and are not bf/gf. They are just happy their friend is getting good dick and is happy.

 

[Kvothe]

Thanks Vel, I think the main issue is myself though. I'm still fairly inexperienced women-wise, so I don't really know how to deal with the feelings that happen post-sex. Anyway, a personal thing I have to deal with.

Two approaches in the last two days. I find myself feeling AA, though the source is different. Probably related to strong feelings for the other girl, but something that must be overcome all the same.

Regarding Serendipity, I'm trying to follow the FWBs rules now that I have her locked in from the weekend. She seems to be very enthused about me, so I need to make sure to keep it casual, even though her friends are okay with it, I still think she is angling a boyfriend route from me. I need to up my lover vibe in order to improve this.

 

[Kvothe]

I expect my posting over the next 2-3 weeks to be more erratic. I'll be traveling a lot and being with friends for the majority of the time. Will try to do approaches as and when I can, but will mostly be sticking to a watered down version of night game to avoid reputation damage.

No real updates over the last week. Did approaches over the weekend and a lot of approaches on Sunday. Seem to have lost some momentum and hooking ability, so will work to build that up again. Girls are still stopping for me, so I think it's a follow-up issue and vibe issue.

Did one insta-date kind of date where a girl bought me lunch, and basically spent the whole time explaining her abusive relationship with her husband. Too many red flags for sure. But I guess I had an insta date this week?

Had a scare that my apartment was filled with pests, but it does not appear to be the case, though I am personally still not sure. Will focus on going through some more Riker.

 

[Kvothe]

Finished up a trip out of town. Was able to do a few approaches at night in the city I was visiting, and ended up getting approached by a girl. I ended up making out with her, though social frame and the presence of too many friends prevented any further action. We made out, so at least some escalation there. Will try to do some daygame approaches over the next week when I’m walking to meet friends.

 

[Kvothe]

Made out with a random girl yesterday. As my apartment is still dealing with the pest issue, not really good for logistics, so mainly focusing on maintaining momentum in other ways.

Friends have left so will try to attempt a detox to get healthier, and return to some day game approaches.

 

[Kvothe]

Hurricane season so indoors I remain.

Currently reading Fooled by Randomness, and was struck by an interesting application to the whole direct vs. indirect ideology. NNT goes into detail about “alternative histories” and about how survivorship bias causes us to look only at the successes in specific cases, without accounting for risk and other alternative pathways a specific action could have gone.

With direct game, it’s a higher risk strategy, it’s more polarizing, so a higher percentage of the time, you’re going to end up missing out. With indirect, it’s lower risk, so the alternative histories have a lower scope of possibilities, meaning potentially more successes if you run it well.

An interesting observation I wanted to record.

 

[Kvothe]

First time approaching in a while. Very rusty, as to be expected, while getting blown out with each approach (street nightgame).

Main issue is just approaching with wrong kind of energy verging. Definitely think I need to be more playful and positive.

One positive was meeting up with @samuraijack which was good. Other was just the fact I approached after a long time. Will try doing some day game today for as long as the weather is good, then will do some nightgame again.

 

[Kvothe]

2 daygame approaches.

The removal of rust continues, at a faster pace, as expected from an increased level up through practicing verbals. The main issue today was just too large of an inner focus, instead of thinking outward towards the state of the girl. This will disappear too in short while.

Other issue is still AA, I need to approach sooner. I expect part of the reason I feel like I have a hard time inducing the AI is because the induction happens quickly, and I simply wait to long and don't notice it.

Voice quality was decent, pace was too fast, actual conversation was not good. Posture was solid, and both girls stopped for me, before continuing nervously after the initial open. I think they could feel that it was feeling rehearsed, or not truly an in the moment thing by me.

 

[Kvothe]

Saturday Night Update

Went out to a new nighttime venue. I had thought it was going to be a rooftop, but it turned out to be a nightclub. I had a lot of AA, and wasn't really able to do any approaches. A few timid hellos were the best I could manage. It was a little disappointing, especially since I was trying to go out with some wings. So it felt quite bad to fail like that.

After that, I went and did some street nightgame near my apartment. Spent most of that walking around and failing to approach. The main issue was that I self ejected out of sets. I opened these two girls in line, and they started giving me some attitude, which had I been assuming the positive and less in my head, I would have been able to realize they were trying to give me some easy to pass shit tests, that had I dealt with better, would have resulted in huge spikes in attraction.

The lesson was that I just need to start approaching, and sticking in sets as long as possible.