The Ladykiller Chronicles

[Kvothe]

Sunday Update

Went out and tried doing some day game. First approach wasn't very useful, just a warmup.

Second one was interesting.

As I'm still dealing with a pest situation, I don't actually have any outfits, so I've been wearing the same henley and jeans for the past few days.
Ugh.

---

#1 Theater Girl

I see this girl walking, she's wearing a tank top which is revealing some very bouncy assets. I walk past her, then turn over my shoulder and open.

Spoiler

Me: Hey, do you know who you look... exactly like?
Her: Who? (with a smile)
Me: This is kind of crazy, but you actually remind me of a girl I used to date... but you have a different energy to you. Are you originally from here?
Her: No, I'm not.
Me: I could tell that actually, you have this energy and enthusiasm to you... Where are you from?
Her: Long Island actually.
Me: Oh so you're basically a New Yorker
Her: I guess so. Where are you from?
Me: Hmmm... Why don't you guess?
Her: No, I'm not going to guess... I'm bad at it
Me: I'm actually from California
Her: Ohhhh, okay, I'm not sure if you even count as a New Yorker

And so the initial part goes as usual. But with her seeming more flirty with me. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to reply in a good manner here. I think rust, mixed with fear led to my rapport skills dropping.

We talk for a little bit while we walk. And she tells me how she's a theater director, with me using this to talk about how as a director, the importance of building relationships with people to build trust, so they can really let go and play their part in the moment.

As we part, I tell her we should continue the conversation, and she asks if she can have my instagram, but I suggest trading numbers instead. So we do, and I awkwardly try to shake hands. I realize now that it probably isn't worth it to shake hands if I trade names much later, that causes it to feel weird. Shaking hands is the better move if trading names happens early in the interaction.

 

[Kvothe]

Monday/Tuesday update:

LR - Rise of the Pocho

Life goes through ups and downs. Some days you feel on top of the world, with everything external going your way. And then the universe can come and slaps you with a pest problem that steals 3 weeks of your life. And such a thing happened to me. I had to put all of my wardrobe in storage...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Kvothe]

Today I went out with the goal of getting one hook. Unfortunately I was dealing with some AA and had a difficult time getting the approaches going, so only ended up with one approach.

I sat on a bench in the park, next to a girl, while some people were preaching into a loudspeaker. I start by asking her what they are preaching about, and then turn to face her as I start. She politely makes some small talk with me as I try to turn it into an RPO of coming into the park to work when there's beautiful weather while basking in the shade of the trees. It falls flat. I think I would have been better off just doing something else like this:

Spoiler

Me: Hey, I have something important to tell you...
Her: Hmmm?
Me: Have you ever noticed how amazing it is... to come out to the park on days like this... sit in the cool shade, and work... while listening to all the noise and energy, feeling it infuse your own life?

This may have incited a better discussion.

The other issue was that I turned away from the girl after opening, but before really hooking, to look back at the preaching people, which caused the girl to go back to her task at hand. This led to her feeling like the interaction was just small talk. I need to be careful with breaking rapport like that. I effectively punished her for doing something good (talking to me). No wonder it fizzled out.

 

[Kvothe]

Saturday update:

Did a few approaches. Only two that are really worth discussing.

I was dressed in my usual pest outfit. Dark black slim fit jeans, grey henley, and zipped chelseas.

---

#1

See this girl as I leave my apartment. I turn around and realize I need to approach the first girls I see to build the micro momentum. I open with the usual opener. And then I start talking and we go over some usual SOTs. Main things here are that I wasn't very smooth, both on opener, and in how I followed up.

Anyway, it ended up that she wasn't single, so...

---

#2

Was at a rooftop bar, and a girl sits next to me and my friend. He goes up to take a picture, and I just open with a simple "How's your day going?". She's super open, and we have a fun conversation, with me being much more smooth and quick on my feet. I'm able to use trance words, weasel phrases, and build better SOTs. Unfortunately, the girl came out here with her boyfriend, so another one lost. But good practice all the same.

 

[Kvothe]

Other useful notes.

My approach I've been doing, going with the

Spoiler

Me: Hey, do you know you look exactly like?
Her: Who?
Me: You actually remind of a girl I used to date

This is actually super gamey. One way to realize this is because the girl usually ends up laughing, which is a signal that it feels more like a pick up line than an genuine observation. So instead, I should either go with the "Do you know who you look like" followed by a reasonable celebrity, or use "Woah! You remind me exactly of my ex girlfriend". The latter is best for when a girl pops up at you at a random time, while the other is better for more lowkey ways.

Other tips for me to focus on. I need to start approaching, regardless of having the perfect approach or not. To that end, if I get an AI, I MUST approach. Immediately. I should also focus on eye contact, making sure that I get the girl to look away first.

 

[Kvothe]

Met up with @Lobo today for a bit.

Unfortunately, I’m dealing with AA still, I’ve been doing TRE and other body oriented therapy to remove the tension but it will likely take a bit longer to remove the recent stuff.

Only ended up doing one approach. Was walking and saw a girl coming in my direction, so stared at my phone until the right moment, then looked up, feigning a little surprise, and told her she looked exactly like my ex girlfriend. She stopped and I rainbow rused her not being from around here.

Mistake was forgetting to ask the Golden question and build her investment in the interaction. When I asked for her number she said she was too new to the city and wasn’t trying to meet people. I should have done some pacing and leading here, but didn’t think of it. Mixed with the lack of Golden question I think that explains the lack of a number from a potentially good set. Still was a solid open and delivery with a hook. So I technically met my goal for the day.

Missed a bunch of approach opportunities. Also need to work on noticing AI’s. I can notice them for other people apparently haha, but need to work on noticing them for myself.

Also focused on smiling at cute girls who made eye contact with me. Was able to get two smiles reflected back at me. Part of improving eye contact.

 

[Kvothe]

Saturday update:

Went out for a bit, and was extremely hung over from Friday. It was a physical effect on me. I was trembling and extremely anxious, heart rate pounding while trying to approach. Not fun.

I was dressed in my normal pest outfit. Slim fit black jeans, black zip up chelseas, and a blue henley with perhaps a bit too much room in the torso. Unfortunately, beggars can't be choosers on outfits lol.

She was a cute girl walking a dog. Bleach blonde hair on a slim form. Stylish, but with a ready smile. I look at her dog, then glance up. We make eye contact and smile at each other.

I open simply, telling her how her dog is cute, and then moving into an RPO about the day. I grab her attention long enough to transition into a hook, and she's asking me some simple questions. Where I'm from, where am I going. I had just been approaching, so I make up a story of needing a hot chocolate after a long night out. She's out shopping for a coffee set, while walking her dog. I build some rapport, then suggest she come with me while I grab a hot chocolate. I've built up the hot chocolate at this point, and made it super easy for her to accept the invitation. I tell her I have to head out soon after the hot chocolate, as I have some errands around the city.

She goes into the coffee shop to buy something, while I stand outside, on my phone. She finishes up. As we walk, I make a very good rainbow ruse on her, and she is floored by my read on her.

Spoiler

Me: You have this vibe to you. I can tell you're super warm and bubbly with people you meet, but you like to keep a lot of the really deep things close to your chest, maybe only sharing them with a few, very trusted people.

She is absolutely stunned that I read her this well, and it in turn causes her to try to read me. She guesses (correctly) that I am a Pisces. I talk briefly about astrology, learn about her signs, then pull up my trusty astrology book and read out the descriptions to her that I find are amenable to fast sex, and adventure. She says all the traits are dead on. She easily follows her emotions, and I set some good non-judgmental frames through the tourist gambit.

Eventually, I have to leave, and I suggest we grab drinks later in the week. She enthusiastically agrees, and we hug goodbye.

She didn't reply to one of my texts, so we'll see if I can still pull it off. But for a day that was largely filled with me having anxiety the whole time, this was a nice and bright spot.

 

[Kvothe]

Went out with a goal of 3 approaches today. Hit that number, though I find my opening lacking. I am confused on what exactly to say, as my previous opener is too gamey, and I never know what actress/celebrity to tell a girl she looks like. And as I cannot plan this out ahead of time, it leads me to give up leads, for not being able to figure out how to approach.

First approach I followed from behind, and opened over shoulder. I tell her she looks exactly like Emilia Blunt. She stops, which is good, but does not hook, and I am not smooth nor charming enough to build this to a more exciting path. She leaves quickly.

Second approach I see a girl sitting down nearby. She looks busty, but it turns out to be that she is relatively chubby, though while sitting, it is well-hidden. I open with an RPO about the energy in the park. She responds and I tell her she looks like she's from somewhere else. Stumbling, jerky conversation abound, and we are talking past each other without truly listening or responding. Or at least, that's how I'm talking.

A cute girl comes and sits next to me, though far enough away that there is ambiguity in whether this is an AI, or just chance. She is a tourist and taking pictures, so I try opening with an situational about the setting in the park, but she doesn't hear me. I have to be louder to get this. She stands up quickly after sitting down, nearly confirming my suspicion that this was an AI that I failed to seize.

Last approach I see a girl walking towards me. I look at my phone, and when close enough, glance up, and pretend to be surprised. I tell her she looks exactly like an ex girlfriend, to which the girl laughs (a sign that this opener is too gamey?). She quickly leaves. I think the opener cannot be criticized here, as the voice tonality and energy was far too mechanical. It sounded gamey, because I wasn't coming across as genuine. More experimentation required.

 

[Kvothe]

Rust, remove you I must.

Recently, my goal has been to improve approaching numbers to higher numbers, as I'm just not hitting a good level of social momentum to maintain conversations. I need more practice talking with people.

To that end, had a goal of 3 approaches, and was able to approach 4. Unfortunately, most fizzled out at the beginning.

Talked with @Lobo, and I really need to work on my meta narrative as I'm out. Stillness, low awareness radius, and a smooth and charming approach. Right now I can feel myself turning my head, scanning about, though I'm not sure how to get a target without turning my head. Something to practice. Nonverbals should be focused on, specifically maintaining a low AR, staying still, and keeping my head ahead and looking up.

Approaches weren't really worth going into. I think the "you look like my girlfriend" opener is coming across too gamey, so it'll be back to the drawing board regarding moving openers. I think back to the one I had been using trying to pace walking around the city, and suddenly, something unexpected happening.

Also need to work on staying in set. I'm often scared the girl I'm talking to is too young, but the solution is to just ask their age (in a subtle way, by asking what they do, and then seeing if they're in school, working, etc).

 

[Lobo]

Talked with @Lobo, and I really need to work on my meta narrative as I'm out. Stillness, low awareness radius, and a smooth and charming approach. Right now I can feel myself turning my head, scanning about, though I'm not sure how to get a target without turning my head.

Yea it's difficult for me to find a target when I'm keeping a low A.R. What I've been doing at the park is posting up somewhere where I won't really be noticed and slowly scan there. Usually just a bench, or somewhere in the shade. Then I see the girl and do the fake texting to sit near starting from a good distance away. When I've done it well the girl notices me and doesen't seem to be questioning my intentions at all on the opener.

 

[Kvothe]

I am still livid about this from yesterday. But documenting the embarrassing, and self loathing aspects of progress is important for when I look back over my past feelings and laugh.

Dressed in my normal post-pest clothes, and I see this phenomenal looking girl. Tall, busty, nice butt, white top on floral skirt. Very cute face. I have to approach. I turn around, and I start trying to do my "suddenly something unexpected happens" approach, and all of a sudden, I don't remember how to talk to a girl. I try to think of words to say, and panic and cannot for the life in me string words together coherently. At one point, I just tell her that I feel fully incapable of this right now, and I can't string a sentence together and leave.

I am still steaming from this. I am angry at myself. My current fears are that I am regressing and losing progress that I've made.

The above is not written to try and seek comfort, but to list my current mood so I can remember that the journey up was not smooth, nor easy, nor a straight line. I imagine it will continue to be a curvy up and down path, and I am currently in an ebb state.

The nice thing is, there's nowhere to go but up.

 

[Skjöldr]

@Kvothe we all experience that shit, the first few down periods are bad because we haven't seen that they are just temporary yet, but this is what happens, the journey upwards is 2 steps forwards and one step back

 

[Kvothe]

Did 3 approaches plus some other social warm up activities. Nothing much to say from those approaches though. Most were situational opens, with some reality pacing thrown in. But for the most part, I was focusing on eye contact, specifically winning the initial eye contact battle, and lowering my awareness radius to improve the smoothness of approaches.

Unfortunately cannot say I succeeded much on either of those, as I would look away first, and the awareness radius will require time to improve.

 

[Kvothe]

Only two approaches at night yesterday, which is still a step up from previously.

Went out with some wings, and as usual, I was dressed in a grey henley and black jeans, with black zip chelseas and a black bead bracelet with silver accents.

---

#1

I see these two girls, one a very cute blonde, and the other a very not-cute brunette. They're dancing and having a good time, so I go up and approach with:

Me: You guys are having way too much fun without me.

They react positively, and I start talking to the blonde and also introduce myself to her friend. A mistake here, as the friend seemed surprised that i was asking her name. A clear signal I should have just stuck talking to the blonde and isolated her. The conversation doesn't go very well, as my nightgame stimulation and intriguing conversation needs practice.

---

#2

We're at a different bar, and I see this guy go and talk to a girl, and then his friend pulls him away. I open the same girl situationally.

Me: That's the first time I've seen that...
Her: What do you mean?
Me: Normally, I see friends pulling their girl friends away from guys, this is the first time I've seen a guy pull his friend away from talking to a girl.
Her: Wait... what?

It's too loud and she didn't hear me. I repeat myself. Instead, a better thing would have been to lightly grab her arm, and pull her to a seat right next to where we were, where here friends could still see us, and tell her to sit next to me, as it would be easier to hear.

 

[Kvothe]

4 approaches, 4 hooks.

TRE seems to be increasing my social engagement, and making me feel more comfortable with tension... with letting the conversation pause, in a way that I control. My pace... slow, but measured and intriguing.

I was dressed in black jeans, clean white sneakers, a light blue henley, and a grey bead bracelet.

---

#1

Leave my apartment, and I realize I've left my mask behind. I had considered not going back to get it, but I see a woman walk past me, that I think would be fun to open. I do my "Who do you look like", and she pauses, and fully turns to me. I talk a little bit, mostly just warming up, but when I ask for her number, she says she has a husband.

---

#2

I'm walking around the park, and spy a girl walking my direction. I try something new, and open her with the "Do you know who you look like opener" after stopping in front of her. I forgot to turn as I was walking.

Part of the reason for this was that it was a more empty street, so me turning around and walking back would not have made sense.

She responds with mild curiosity, and I tell her who I think, and she is flattered. I transition into the normal rainbow ruse of her not being from around the area.

I think the main issue here was not hooking as well as I should have. I should have pulled her to the side (though she did end up moving next to me). I think the other issue is that I returned attention to the fact that she was in a rush, forgetting my own lesson to go for the insta-date, and then use that to get a date invite in the case of rejection. Also, I didn't stick around in conversation after grabbing the number.

Either way, the number turned out to be a fake one. It happens.

---

#3

I reach the park, and I see a girl sitting off in the distance. Remembering to focus on keeping a low awareness radius (AR), I pull out my phone and start texting/messaging while trying to imagine positive things. I eventually open with intrigue bait on an interesting observation about the park.

She has an accent, and I ask where she's from (Mexico). I didn't do this as well, as I should have navigated towards better SOTs like connecting with new people, etc.

She eventually sees her sister nearby and leaves to go see her.

---

#4

I'm sitting at the same bench from #3, and see a girl in a eye-catching top and low skirt. This girl has my attention. I get up slowly, and head the direction she did. She goes and sits down, and I eventually grab a seat, focusing on a low AR. I eventually use the same opener.

I really feel much better about this conversation, as it transitions into books. I use the opportunity to layer great descriptions while describing the joy of reading a good book, however a better transition would have been into discussing the Nancy Friday book I was reading. It would have led to a much more fascinating discussion, and with a better topic as well.

Anyway, this girl is just waiting in the park for her boyfriend so she can grab a massage with him. She eventually gets a call from him, answers with "Love", and then as she leaves waves me goodbye.

---

Overall, a good day, with a solid number of hooks, and very positive vibes from me. I did attempt to use better embedded commands, though will require more practice for those to become more natural.

 

[Kvothe]

Lobo had mentioned to me to do an exercise to write out 25 SOTs and the transitions to get to that. Since I'm not in the field today because of a rain forecast, I'll go ahead and do that exercise.

SOT #1: Connection:

Spoiler

1.1
How it Starts: Have you ever noticed the best way to get to know yourself... is through meeting new people? As you engage with different perspectives, you start to learn things you like... things you don't... and maybe some things you didn't know about before.

Follow Up: When you meet someone new, it can go in so many different ways. It can be boring, and stale. Or it can be invigorating... as you get to know this person, you feel a greater and greater sense of connection... and as your connection grows, maybe you'll discover more exciting aspects of this... Chemistry, passion, and a mutual sense of comfort and adventure.

1.2
How it starts: Have you ever noticed the different sorts of people you'll meet in the city? It's so varied and full of energy. I remember when I first moved here, people told me to be wary of rude New Yorkers, and yet, I've found that the most engaging aspect of being here.

Follow Up: New Yorkers aren't actually mean... They're just busy, and on an autopilot. Have you ever been super focused on completing some task... to the point where the rest of the world fades away... and someone comes and asks you for directions? What's crazy about it is that so many people get so caught up in their work, and errands, that they lose track of really being in the moment. When was the last time you were able to truly relax, let your guard down, and really become present in the moment? I've found that moments like that are the best... you feel so connected to everything and everyone around you, and you know that exploring a connection with someone new in those moments becomes so much more exciting and spontaneous.

1.3
How it starts: Have you ever noticed that when you come to the park, ostensibly to work , that its so easy to become distracted by everyone around you.

Follow Up: It's exciting to be really present in the moment, and let yourself become open to the world around you. When you do that... you open yourself up to adventure, and spontaneity. Meeting new people suddenly becomes exciting, and you can learn things about yourself you didn't even know existed before. Surrendering to that feeling of openness and adventure is one of life's greatest pleasures, don't you think?

1.4
How it starts: Have you noticed how recently... it feels like people are so many more people are open to new connections and new adventures? It feels like with quarantine finally coming to a close, everyone feels safe... and liberated to let themselves be open to new experiences again.

Follow up: Meeting new people rekindles a sense of spontaneity we've all been lacking I think. As you connect with this new person, maybe you become more excited by the burgeoning chemistry... maybe it reminds you of a passion that's been missing and longing for again... It really has given people a kick in the butt I think to grab life by the horns and thrust themselves into the thick of it.

SOT #2: Going for it

Spoiler

2.1
How it starts: Do you remember when you first moved to the city (or if she's from here, I can reference myself)... It was a tough decision... Maybe you only knew a few people here, and you weren't sure you'd be able to hack it with all these in a rush New Yorkers...

Follow Up: At some point, maybe you realize... you just have to trust yourself to just go for it. And then you feel it become such an adventure. With each new experience, each new person you meet... things begin to feel more and more exciting... This experience just becomes more and more natural...

2.2
Use Tourist gambit to go into a mix of this topic + going for it when exploring new connections outside of judgmental eyes

SOT #3: Making good decisions

Spoiler

3.1
How it starts: I was talking to my friend the other day, and she was telling me how she went home with a guy for the first time in a while the other day... and how happy she was that she made the decision...

Follow Up: So many people these days second guess themselves, and worry about making the right decisions. Yet, when you feel that the decision you're making is the right one... and let yourself surrender to that feeling-everything becomes easier, and suddenly, you realize one day that you've become the sort of spontaneous, self-assured person who makes the best decisions for yourself... Does that make sense?

That's it for today, will continue writing these out on off-field days.

 

[Kvothe]

3 approaches today.

Tension removal over the past few weeks has helped improve the hook rate and base verbals again. It's good to be back on a more consistent level.

The air was hot and muggy, yet vibrating with opportunity. I was dressed in black jeans, white shoes, grey beads, and a gray tee. To put it succinctly, my pest outfit.

First approach was an immediate low-level blow off.

---

#2

I was walking out of the park, after having scouted the area for good opportunities. After none were found, I exited the park, and notice a cute blonde girl walking towards me. I initially think about opening as she crosses, then reconsider. I turn around after she passes, and follow her, opening over my shoulder.

Spoiler

Me: Do you know who you look... exactly like?
Her (with accent): No, who?
Me: It's interesting, because everyone has these different feelings towards celebrities... but you look like Emma Roberts to me
Her: Oh really?
Me: Yeah, I think so. Though you have an interesting energy to you. You're not originally from here?
Her: No, I'm not, obviously <with slight smile>.
Me: Haha I can tell, you have an interesting accent. I can't place it
Her: What do you think it is?
Me: It sounds Russian, or maybe Eastern European?
Her: No, it's from a country that starts with an I.
Me: Ah, Italy.
Her: Yeah. Where are you from?
Me: Where do you think?
Her: I'm not sure, can I get a hint?
Me: It's in the West coast
Her: <guesses correct>
Me: Nice, good guess.

At this point, she hooks well, and she starts peppering me with social frame questions. What do I do, what I'm doing right now. I answer nonchalantly, while providing as little detail as I can, while still providing a decent social frame (I think). At some point, we trade names (I initiate this, need to not do so). I suggest we walk together in the same direction, since I'm allegedly going the same way.

Along the way, she asks me more questions, what books I read, and I try to answer with strong verbal descriptions of getting swept up in author's words. Then turn it back around, to hear some of her books she's read, and try to get some of the feelings they bring up in her. My main issue is that it feels more on the analytical side, though I do try to get the more creative and intuitive aspects of conversation to take control.

We eventually reach the end of where our paths take us together, and I grab her number, suggesting we get a coffee sometime. Then I stick around and talk a little more. She seems more warm to me as we talk, so hopefully it's a strong lead.

She responded to my initial text, so we'll see.

---

#3

After stopping by to pick up some groceries, I see a cute brunette girl in a floral dress walking by. Part of me wants to go home, while the other part knows I need to hit 3 approaches today. So I go after her. There's some random stuff going on in the small park near us, so when we pause at the cross walk, I turn and look over her at the music, then ask her.

Spoiler

Me: Do you know what that music is?
Her: No I don't <she starts to look away from me, and I consider trying to talk more to grab her, then realize she's looking around to get a better look at the music.
Her: I think it's a music concert or something. I'm a little uncomfortable going to see it.
Me: Want some company to look?

And we go and look. I find out in the first few minutes that she's Turkish, and has been traveling to Turkey recently. Her teeth are also strangely white, which she says is because she's put teeth whitening strips in. They give a strange, slightly juvenile energy to her teeth.

She's peppering me with a lot of social frame related questions, and is asking me lots of questions. I also cut the space, start talking slower, and initiate very, very light incidental touch.

Spoiler

Her: This seems like woke music
Me: <Puzzled> Woke music?
Her: Yeah. I have a video. <Waves phone> I'd share it with you, but...
Me: Here, let me put my number in, and you can send it to me.
Her: Okay!

And the numbers are traded. Around this point, I ask her what she's doing right now. She's off to a jazz concert with a friend she's blown off 3 times (I decide to not try and make it 4). I suggest we grab a seat nearby, and chill and talk until the concert. We go and sit close by.

Here she asks my age, and guesses I'm 25. She's 27, and seems like this might be a bad thing. I aim to reframe this by discussing maturity, and how maturity is the more important thing when thinking about a connection between people. As there are many men out there older than she is, with the mentality of children or teenagers. She agrees with this.

It's worth noting that she's slightly awkward. She starts random topics about random subjects, then tells me she's talking about them because she doesn't really know what to say. Maybe I should have just been silent here to build better tension, but instead I lowered the tension. Though it is worth noting that I was hard multiple times throughout this interaction.

Spoiler

Her: What are you reading now?
Me: It's actually a little bit risque. Is that okay?
Her: Sure
Me: I've been reading Nancy Friday. She was a feminist author, who wrote about female sexual fantasies.
Her: Oh really?
Me: Yeah, I've found it fascinating to compare her work then, to our society now. People back then almost treated women like they weren't sexual creatures. It's much less like that in society today, but there are still people who think that way.
Her: Definitely
Me: It's interesting, because she goes on to talk about some of the reasons for female fantasies, and the reasons vary from feeling more comfortable in the moment and enjoying it, to dissatisfaction with their partners, who roll over after 2 seconds.
Her: Interesting
Me: I find it very interesting, because even today, women get treated unfairly. If a man goes and has sex with many women, he's called a player, but if a woman does the same thing...

I like this bit because it's the closest I've gotten to explicit sex talk so far.

We talk a bit more, and then it gets time for us to leave. Since we're heading the same direction, we walk together. I tell her we should grab a drink or a coffee soon, and she agrees. As I'm leaving, she attempts to shake my hand. I give it, but try to hold it for longer than average.

---

I initially didn't want to go out today. It was warm and muggy. But clearly it's great that I did. Both girls have responded to me, so I hope to be able to set up a date with them soon.

 

[Kvothe]

Friday Night Update

Did a couple of approaches at night with some wings. There was one Irish girl who opened me in the bathroom. I should have stayed in that set, but for some reason I figured I'd ping her for later. A bad decision, as even though I did see her again, there was nothing I could do to bait her.

My wing made an approach on two cute girls while I went to grab some water. He opened by talking about her tattoo, a simple request, though his ability to persist and transition into conversation is strong too. I come back and am introduced. I don't know which girl he is going for, as he has the right of opening. But I start talking with both, and we are getting busted about. I gesture, and (admittedly too excitedly, as opposed to smoothly and calmly) suggest moving to a more clear area, next to tables I hope will open up. As we walk there, I whisper to my wing to position himself next to the girl he was going for. I end up with the less attractive option, though I find her pretty enough. I try to talk, using RPOs, and attempting stimulating conversation. Yet my conversational ability is not strong. I suspect a mix of these girls not being particularly interesting (my wing also commented on this), and failing to steer towards more exciting conversational topics.

I notice a table does in fact open up, and again, too excitedly, gesture us into the table. My girl sits next to me, while my wing and his girl sit on chairs opposite. My girl, as she will later explain, hates my wing's girl's boyfriend, and very much wants the two of them to hook up. I struggle to keep the girl's attention on myself. Perhaps more dominant behavior, as my girl appeared to be the alpha girl of the group. She is the type of girl to plan things out, and enjoys that. So I should have paid more attention to that. By trying to discuss spontaneity, and ditching plans for adventure, maybe I was alienating myself. But how else to set fast sex frames and lead to our union?

The other seductive narratives. This girl was definitely more on the PP archetype. So maybe setting myself up as the prize, and getting her to qualify to me, and me being more of a challenge to her would have been the better strategy.

At some point, the girls go to use the bathroom. I also have to pee, and after we wait long enough, it feels like the girls won't come back, so I go to pee. By the time I return, the girls are back, but my wing had also opened a set in the meantime. So now we have a group of 4 girls with us. My wing and his girl are deep in conversation, and my girl is deep in conversation with the two newcomers. I sit, now on a chair, not next to my girl. My girl is animatedly chatting, and as the seconds pass, I begin to feel more and more isolated from this group.

What options do I have now? I could try and sit next to my girl, get her to scoot over and make room for me. But this is quite chasing. It will make my value drop. The other option is to enter into the set of my wing, and be more social and graceful with them. I choose option 1, the wrong option. I should have entered my wing's set. He was solid, the girl liked him, the girl's friend liked him, so the higher value option would have been to talk with them, and let the friend's attention wander back to me, as it would have.

From here, it feels like the attraction drops precipitously. Even the slightly flirty banter becomes more forced, and eventually, the girls say they need to leave, though it's clear that the friend wants to hook up with my wing. We try a hail mary and invite them to his place, and they decline.

From here, the night slowly ends. I notice this Asian girl eye fuck me on the way out of the rooftop, and I go and approach. She seems very, very compliant. But she's older, and thai.

I venture back home, and wander around my area, looking for street sets. I open one that is quite positive, though the girl is out with her sister and cousin. I still invite her for drinks, just to try.

I later run into a girl having a discussion with what seems to be a friend. From the conversation I overheard, it seems like they're trying to make a decision regarding someone she doesn't even know.

Me: Seems like you guys are having quite the discussion
Guy: Maybe you can give us a verdict
Me: What's the choices?
Girl: Should we do a threesomee
Me: <Pause> hmmm
Guy: Haha, see? <to girl>

There has to be something I could have done here. The guy was not the girl's boyfriend, and I'm not entirely sure he was straight or her fuckbuddy. Perhaps a contrast between the unknown person who they are going to see and the potential of a sexy guy who is right here, right now, with an apartment and drinks two doors down. How most guys don't know the first thing about women, and into some sexual prizing.

Good news was positive hooks.

 

[Kvothe]

Sunday Update

Did two approaches on Sunday. First one was right out the door. I find if I can make approaches immediately, it really improves my micro momentum, and helps me approach more on the same outing. But the girl herself is not attractive. The main thing I want to note is my delivery was much stronger, with me being able to go more into building intrigue before revealing who they look like.

I also did one approach near the park. It was short, and I was able to fully build the intrigue before delivering the goods. But the interaction itself was very short. I grab the number anyway. Main issues are that I need to stop introducing myself first. But more importantly, I need to stop asking girls what they're up to right now. It breaks the connection that is forming by reminding girls that they have somewhere else to be.

Regarding texting, I'm going to start trying to follow this guide by Todd V:

youtube.com/watch?v=9P-wr8JdVyo

 

[Kvothe]

One approach today, ended up giving her my number.

I don't really have much different to say on this one than previous ones. One thing I want to work on is talking less, in this way, the approach I did today had the girl qualifying herself more to me, though I need to continue to work on building intrigue and not giving answers too quickly. I also was able to close the distance better, though perhaps I still appear too eager which hurts the vibe a little.

I also need to continue working on persistence and staying in set, but that's more of a long-term thing to continue focusing on.

I like #1 in this video that Lobo shared: youtube.com/watch?v=Zi-IxFG2yMU