The Love Journal

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Heads up, added a ton to my previous comment lol. You really just need to be moving forward with touch and isolation, even to the point of not worrying about touch too much if she's isolating with you anyways, she could be shy. Little things like telling her "you can scoot over, I won't bite" if she's close but not quite there or getting up close with a tattoo or interesting piece of jewelry, getting comfortable touch in as you do can help, but keep your eye on the ball (her willingness to isolate).

Have an interesting thing back at your place or a reasonable enough excuse when asking her back. This isn't field tested, but my intuition says something as dumb as "hey, I'm a bit thirsty, let's head back to my place real quick" can do the trick for her plausible deniability (even if there's a water fountain nearby, just be super solid in saying it).

This goes against what Hoof just said (sort of), but if you're walking back to your car and she's being clearly nervous, I'd honestly interpret that as a time to step in front of her, stare into her eyes, then kiss her. Ideally she goes for it and then you get home like a speed demon (with chill). Not sure how much talking should happen in this situation. I'd personally not be saying much if the ride was short, but that could lead to a tension implosion on her side. Could ask her about her taste in music and put something on if it wouldn't take too long to do. Time is of the essence in this scenario, you're basically rushing to isolate and probably greenlit to get into your room, make out, throw her on the bed, and proceed. LMR could still show up, but good chance it's a small thing she wants you to overcome/ignore.

Disclaimer: I have half a dozen experiences where I just smashed into a wall of stupid right on the edge of sex; like "were you planning to have sex?" *said right after SHE just stripped everything but her panties off herself*, followed by me NEVER pushing forward into sex. Also one time a girl invited me over to her place and I tried to take her dress off from the TOP, instead of bottom lol (her alarms blew up: virgin alert).

So... crap happens lol, just have to keep trying to move forward and accumulate experience.


In my experience, letting me rest my hand on her leg rarely doesn't lead to more if you try. Just tell yourself a good story, not a worried story.

She had class in like 15 minutes. I don't think she would skip class to fuck me. And if she said no, that's more resistance I have to work through the next I try to isolate. What do you think about pulling to a public bathroom? Seems harder but is the only viable option in that scenario.

Maybe if I had gotten more compliance, I could have proposed skipping class, but that sounds like an advanced move to me.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

I mean subjectively they make me feel better I guess. Say you go in for a hug, or request a hand for clasp, or ask her to do something and she reciprocates eagerly and then more... i sure feel good when that happens?

But we're always just playing the odds. Nothing is 100percent in life. I do like feeling better about it, but at a certain point, you're just gonna have to ask her to come home. Everything could be golden and perfect and she could still say no, right? It could 100percent seem one way, but really be another.

My thoughts on kissing are different. A lot of inexperienced guys have *kissing* as a goal, which is fine. But to me kissing is more like a specialized tool on my way to a goal.

Spoiler: Digression on kissing

So the first level of advice is don't kiss unless you're in a spot where you can have sex.

Beyond that, the next level is subjectively deciding where to kiss if the situation needs it to achieve your outcome. Ime it can save an interaction that's flatlining. It also seems to have a peculiar effect of relieving tension, which isn't great, but seems to allow room for even more max tension to build up-- if done correctly; a quick hit/deflation for a longterm gain. (I just did this in January and it helped me get to fucking a new girl).

As to when to know to pull her home, this is a reading of signs and an artform. I'll leave you to find your way through what she might be signaling to encourage you that she's ready, even though we know signals aren't always the best, the proof is always in the asking. For me, even now, there's another piece-- I myself tend to feel a lot of nervousness here, to the point of intentional blindness of signals, etc. And I've done this a lot. Always a bit of a rush, but the point being to do take time to manage your own anxiousness and fear so you can act freely toward your goals, and that doesn't get talked about enough imo; *you* are 50percent of this at least, and have to also manage your own emotions through the process.

I've heard you shouldn't try to kiss in public. Is that scenario low probability compared to isolated kissing? The girl and I were out in public but there was no one around so kind of a mix of both.

After hearing @TheEcho and @HoofHearted, my idea for kissing is this:

Ideally use kissing if you are isolated to transition to sex. But in other situations like mine, where you can't pull anywhere, kissing is fine just to build investment.

You should go for the kiss if she is giving you good signals and compliance and the two of you are holding intimate eye contact. Besides that, its just a guessing game because nothing is certain.

Thoughts on these ideas?

 

[HoofHearted]

I'm not sure that makes sense to me.

I think you need to be solving the problem of where to take her.

If you're not alone somewhere where you can start the process toward sex, I would only kiss in a few circumstances

A) if youre inexperienced and kissing is a huge step forward for you, probably kiss.

B) If the interaction is flatlining and something spicy needs to happen, could be a shot in the arm. It is physical and a step forward, but caution, it may work against you down the road in the interaction, if done carelessly

C) you are asking bigger and bigger demands of her, and kissing is a next logical step. I would say if you ask her to cuddle, and she does, and you ask her to come home, and she won't... and you need an intermediary step, why not ask for a kiss to bridge the gap?

I kinda hope the average guy never has to do any of these things, and you all just kiss at home on the way to sex.

 

[Conquistador]

What do you think about pulling to a public bathroom? Seems harder but is the only viable option in that scenario.

I think it depends on the campus, the sociocultural frame ( ), and her frame.

 

[TheEcho]

Yeah man, the funk is the main issue. Start meditating and steadying your mind. For the rejections, could be lies, could be true. I just assume truth and move on with life. Keep an eye on always improving but not in response to perceived slights.

I get how her "needing" to be somewhere could put a decent block in your mind. Given her nervousness near the end, though, I'd choose to see that as her wanting me to push forward. "Damn the torpedoes!”

It took me a while to get rolling, and honestly not being steady in my mind and not going for things were my biggest blocks.

If you want to keep using a set opener, sure, I mostly start with, “Hey I saw you and thought you were cute and wanted to come say hi” or however it comes out. Not focused on exact words so much as starting with a compliment. Being steady, relaxed, but having good fundamentals with focused eye contact means I almost always get a good response, even if things currently are fumbling towards the end (returning to game after a 5 year relationship).

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

When we were on the bench, I tried to kiss her. She pulled away. This is my first time ever trying to initiate the first kiss. So at least I put myself out there. I didnt know when we would be a good time kiss so I just went for it. Will experiment with this more or maybe just wait for a girl who is giving obvious signals.

Well, props for trying! You got that first awkward try out of the way.

Next time if you want to wait for some signals, better to wait for her to

- show signs of getting closer to you. Like literally her face is getting closer to you
- excessive smiling and staring at you
- "doe" eyes like deer in the headlights
- keeps staring at your lips

Some small things I noticed. Whenever we would sit at a bench, she would always leave half a foot of space between us. I dont think this is a good sign.

Not necessarily bad, just not good either. If you see that, then match her energy and maybe scoot back an inch as well. It'll communicate that you're reading her space and giving it to her. Will make her more comfortable.

Also when we were walking to my car, she at one point was holding onto her phone with two hands. I'm not sure if this was an attempt to avoid us holding hands. She held this position for like 10 seconds and then just relaxed her arms at her sides, and then I went back to holding her hand.

Yeah, don't go for hand holding right now. You are a bit too inexperienced to make it cute. Instead it'll come off needy from how you're probably doing it.

On the drive back to campus, I had my hand on her thighs for a good 5 minutes. I was slowly moving to her inner thigh, but I dont think It would be a good idea to go for her pussy.

Definitely not haha. But I like where your heads at.

We said goodbye when I dropped her off at her class. As soon as the door shut, I knew I wasn't getting a second date. This is because:

I feel like she was only letting me touch her because she felt like she had to be polite. I think this because of the small attempts of distancing she did. I don't know if these signs I mentioned previously are real signs, maybe someone let me know.

if you feel this way, it's best to avoid touching a girl beyond her hand. Don't want to make her uncomfortable. I'm not trying to make you scared/nervous, but just better safe than sorry when it comes to touching.

Keep your touching on her hand/shoulder for now as you learn to calibrate before trying things like touching her thighs/etc.

But she didn't want the kiss and I feel like she didn't like me touching her.

On the flip side, She was laughing at all of my jokes and appeared to be having a good time. And when I touched her there was no visible resistance, like pulling away, saying no etc.

Well, it's possible that her non-excitement at your touching wasn't DISINTEREST so much as it was just general nervousness. But, either way, at the level you are now, play it safe > being risky.

Focus on things like seeing her sitting away from you -> mirror her body language and give her space.

Don't go for kisses right now. Try to get 2nd dates.

Focus on small wins and try "risky" things when there's a good chance of it working OR you get some hard sign like the ones I explained above.

It's a slower way to victory, but it's more consistent and you're less likely to lose good leads like this chick by going for a Hail mary and failing. You can make tons more progress by just going slow and figuring out the basics before trying to do other stuff.

I feel like I was acting way too horny. GC says to be escalating but I've never researched Escalation windows or touch ladders.

Ya, too horny. Focus on what I've advised on this. Don't feel pressure to move fast, because you don't have basic seduction/social skills yet, so moving fast is kinda beyond your skill level at the moment.

So basically, I can't tell when women mean attraction or are faking it. I know when my ex made a move on me it was very obvious but when a girl is on the first date I feel like they are leaving it all to the man to escalate things. So when a women is attracted to me but this attraction is passive or subtle, I can never tell if she wants the second date. I'm going to send a "it was nice seeing you " text two hours after the date and see if she texts back.

I understand you're impatient and the desire to try and rush things when you're failing is strong, but you gotta have discipline and just stay steady. Each date focus only one like 1 or 2 things.

I think your focus right now should be

1. Focus on giving girls more space. Don't be aloof, just don't lean in so much, both literally and figuratively.
2. Discipline yourself to not show so much interest. Even if you want to, try and resist the urge and see what happens on your dates.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

3/3/23

I asked a prying question by accident over text to the girl I went on the date with.

Things fell through after that, left on read. Not sure if that’s because my question was off or just I was too much on the date. Probably I was too much.


3/4/23


Three approaches at the mall. I swear on weekends women are assholes to me at the mall. Much nicer on weekdays, I don’t know what im doing wrong.


I’ve found that if a girl passes me in an open space and I change directions to approach her, she just keeps walking on and ignores me. Not sure why this is but she must be able to tell I’m changing direction to approach her, and this is scaring her off. Need to remember to do that kind of approach properly, Wait for her to get a far enough distance from you, and then turn around so she not even aware of you switching directions. Lmk if this observation I have in mall has happened to you, it could just be in my head.


3/5/23

Approach on nature trail. Girl had her AirPods in so when I approached I spooked her by accident. I should have walked past her then turned around to wave so she could clearly see me. She was very nice to me despite the bad opening, if that happened in a more chaotic setting, approach would have gone wrong


3/6/23:

Approached two girls at the mall who were eating. Group opener actually worked. I think this is because they were sitting down and chilling. Flirting was hard, maybe I didn’t get them hooked. Left after I felt like I had exhausted all options and asked for number.


Did use umhs and ahs bc of stuttering. I was also not matching their energy as my coach told me to do.


I approached a women who was looking at the mall maps, but the mall map wasn’t working. When I did my approach she listened to me and then decided to ignore me and walk off. She said something in a foreign language as she walked off and she sounded frustrated. Probably because she couldn’t find what she was looking for.

I’ve recognized that girls who are doing another task are much harder to open. I don’t know a workaround for this because I dont think waiting for them to finish what they’re doing is a viable option. If anyone has a solution to this It’d be great to hear it.

Another girl I opened just kept walking on even though she was looking at me. I said “hey, I’m talking to you” That obviously didnt work, she gave me some dismissive gesture.


Best to just finish the open and see if she sticks around.

I feel like my reception from woman has been getting worse. My coach doesn’t think so and he advised me to take a break and play Elden Ring. I dont know why Elden Ring but I’ll do it if it gets me laid.


3/7/23

Day one of me taking a break from approaching.

I saw this pretty girl in my college cafeteria and I approached her. Sometimes I can’t help myself

She had a husband but at least I tried.

I’ve been playing Elden Ring and I suck at it. I need to buy a mouse because I’ve been using my Mac touchpad.

3/8/23

No approaches today. I saw a 10 walk by on the school parking lot and regretted not approaching her so bad. In my mind my excuse was I was on break. In reality I was just intimidated in how beautiful she was.

I did get my mouse for Elden ring tho. Was able to play the game for a good hour with the mouse. I now see why my coach wanted me to download the game. The game is frustrating when I keep dying and I feel I am forming a persistence. I’m upset that I lost but I get determined to kill the bad guy and my persistence lets me win.

I think that is what my coach is trying to to teach me. If I play this game long enough, the persistence will be engrained in me. And being very persistent will prevent me from giving up so easy while in an outing

3/9/23

Approached the coffee barista in the school cafeteria. I had to walk by a couple times before I got the balls to do it. I was worried I was going to distract her from her job. I reasoned that she could just do her job while talking to me. I talked to her and I got her number. I doubt she is going to text me back. Just because it was an average approach. But godamn her ass was amazing tho.

Thinking about ending my (not really)hiatus and go to the mall. Really this is just a mall hiatus because that’s where the rejections get in my head and where I havent been gaming recently.

I used to think that top seducers were respected by everyone and didn’t get nasty rejections, but when I asked my coach, he cleared up this myth for me.

Now that I know these rude rejections will always happen, I don’t think I’ll be too much affected. It comes with the territory.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Also: I changed my username because brokenheartlover was too wimpy of a name. It implies a victim mentality and I'm trying to get away from that.

My new name is the name of a great seducer from history. Google him if you want. Figured I should go big or go broke with my new name.

 

[Conquistador]

I do think the “reincarnate” part is a bit cheesy but it works
Yeah about approaching, you have to find the right moment. Sometimes a girl is too closed off to approach and she’ll blow you out by default if you bother her.
As for mall sets — try naturally crossing paths, or plausible situational openers. The best situational openers are when you actually need help with something, and you just pick an attractive girl to ask for directions or whatever.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

I do think the “reincarnate” part is a bit cheesy but it works
Yeah about approaching, you have to find the right moment. Sometimes a girl is too closed off to approach and she’ll blow you out by default if you bother her.
As for mall sets — try naturally crossing paths, or plausible situational openers. The best situational openers are when you actually need help with something, and you just pick an attractive girl to ask for directions or whatever.

haha I'm cheesy

I picked the name because it gives me something to live up to, dontcha think?

It'd be pretty cool if I became an elder and this was my name.

I know I have a lot of obstacles before I get to that point, most guys tap out before that point and who knows I might. I guess I just gotta push through and find out for myself if I have it in me

This is a good topic to extrapolate on for my journal. I know I put some goals here at the start but I wasn't very specific with them, so lets list some...

1. first lay from cold approach (my ex technically counts, I met her at orientation for college and approached her there but then she became on the periphery of my social circle and I was able to smash that way. So cold approach and social circle combined)

2. Same day kiss, ass grab, me fingering her: all go in the same tier

3. first high caliber girlfriend (I really fucked up picking my last, I have better standards now)

4. same day blowjob

4. my first same day lay

5. Being with two or more women at once

6. having a rotation of women

7. First threesome

8. 3 girlfriends at once (I know, sounds like a headache but I want to try it)

9. After that it all seems to just be excess and I feel like I would only want that if I became a sex addict. Like isn't consistent lays every week/multiple girlfriends enough for you?

I'm tempted to add timestamps to these achievements but I realize I need to be consistent in my efforts before I start looking for results. My goal is to start doing 10 approaches a day. Rn now I average 5 a day but I know 10 a day can be done because I've done it before. And honestly 10 wasn't that hard to do once I was in the right mindset. 10 can take 1 hour and 30 minutes to complete on a weekday at the mall. Maybe faster if you're more efficient than I am.

So yeah, more efficiency through less emotional reactivity. I can get a filthy rejection and it discourages me emotionally. Everyday I go out, I push myself to the limit of what I can tolerate. The idea is my capacity for rejections will grow larger and larger the more I approach and I will also become desensitized to rejections as well. Keep in mind, most rejections don't bother me. Its the ones where they refuse to shake my hand that fuck with me. It makes me think they think my hands are too defiled to touch or something, like im homeless.

I'll admit, I'm too sensitive when it comes to that stuff, but I'm working on it. I use mindfulness to prevent me from ruminating on the bad ones so I can focus on the next approach.

This message is just another addition to my journal, don't think this was all a private message to you @Surveyor, that would be funny

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

3/9/23 Continued:

I did decide to go back to the mall. Figured two day hiatus was enough, I want pussy.

four approaches:

1. she was eating in the cafeteria, flirting was good. she had a boyfriend. This girl responded very well to me tho. The interesting part is as I was leaving this girl blessed me in the name of Jesus. something like "I just want you to know Jesus is there for you, he loves you, yadaydayda..."

It's funny she tells me this, as this is on the day I am worried I am going to end up quitting cold approach because I can't take the rude rejections. This is the first interaction I have and it happens almost immediately after I step foot into the mall.

I feel like this is gods way of saying "keep on track with trying to fuck"

I took it as a sign and I do feel blessed that this stranger was so nice to me.

2. Approach two girls that were waling fast. One of them keeps walking but the other one stay to talk... almost. She too was a good distance from me, she stopped, but then her friend ushered her away. This is as I am speaking my opener.

I should have been more confident in my opener, the drifting away made me lose focus.

Anyways, I obviously lost her to her friend but A for effort.

3.Approached two girls, they turned out to be students at the college I go to. their younger siblings showed up at the end. This is an example of a nervous group I am able to make feel more comfortable talking with me after a couple minutes. The girl I was interested in offered to give her instagram but I KNOW THATS A TRAP! THATS A TRAP! THATS A TRAP! HAHAHAHAHA (kinda a reference to admiral ackbar Star Wars ifykyk)

It's so funny the little games women will play, just reject me!

4. In this approach the two girls were giving me very skeptical looks. the look of like "get this weirdo away from me", if you've ever seen that type of side eye, you know what I mean.

These people refused to shake my hand. Vocal tonality from them when they said they were going to go was the same "get this weirdo away from me vibe"

It was rude, but hey, they dont have to be obliged to be nice to every stranger they meet. They can act however they want, they have free will.

After this rejection, I started spiraling a little but then I remembered mindfulness and that allowed me to focus on the next approach

5. Saw this girl as I was leaving. Very nice girl, preschool teacher. Banter and flirting was good, she was receptive. She had a boyfriend but I appreciated the interaction. I could tell she really did had a boyfriend, she was high caliber.

Take aways:

How I say the opener is getting a little better, still need to work out the kinks, @Hector Papi Castillo has more emotion in his voice when he does it in MGE but my personality might be different than his. I know it has to feel like "my style", still with emotion, but how I use emotion with my voice.

I tried my idea where I waited a while before I switched directions to approach when the girl(s) are coming out of an open space. Giving them the extra distance before following them made them want to acknowledge my approach because it didn't look pre meditated. This was with approach 2

I shifted my feet towards the women after they were more comfortable with me talking to them. This was a good move. (approach 3)

My flirting is getting better

I still struggle to focus on a good voice and good eye contact during the approaches. But I am trying to do it some of the time in my other social interactions. Need to work on this more

6 approaches total today (one in the previous update)

Just need four more to achieve my goal.

I'll get there

All in all a good day of approaching!

 

[Conquistador]

After that it all seems to just be excess and I feel like I would only want that if I became a sex addict. Like isn't consistent lays every week/multiple girlfriends enough for you?

Yeah, I think there’s a point where abundance is saturated and you can just focus on building a life of glorious achievement. But threesomes are a worthy goal

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

3/10/23:

Approached a girl while I was walking to my car on campus. I turned around and did a frontal approach on her. It wasn’t all lively like hector said it should be in mge, I just said excuse me and then went into my opening. From how she walked up to me, I knew she was interested. I calibrated to this by being more flirtatious and confident. There was definitely a sexual vibe going on. She had a boyfriend so I decided to stop it there.

First set I’ve had like this that felt sexual. I want to get into more of these sets but that I think ultimately depends on me

3/13/23

Four approaches at the mall

1. Girl was sitting in the cafeteria. The surrounding chairs made it difficult to approach her, to the point where my approach looked creepy. I surprised her and she was taking a bite of her sandwich when I opened. Her boyfriend came in the second I approached her so I just asked her where the gap was, pretending to be a lost tourist.
2. Thick girl in white fishnets, very hot. We had a decently long conversation. I tried being funny and flirting but I really just needed to create a sexual vibe or some kind of tension. I think this would have built attraction
3. Two girls in urban outfitters. I did the can I talk to you friend line and it worked so well that the other girl just went on her phone and gave us privacy. I would have preferred talking to both because that would have been polite. I feel as if my conversation with the friend I liked was too platonic because at the end she said the she wasn’t looking to date rn.
4. Very thick middle aged women. The girls from the previous approach were behind me so I was really nervous they were going to find out I just hit on women in the mall. This made my opening to the middle aged woman very weak, I spoke to quietly. She just said it was nice meeting you and then walked off. She seemed amused by the whole thing.

Takeaways:

1. Taking a couple days off really fucks with your skill level, you temporarily loose the skill you had previously
2. My emotional state has a huge influence on my game (approach 4). I need to become mote balanced if I want consistent results
3. Angles and timing is everything (approach 1)
4. Find ways to create tension and make things feel sexual (approaches 2 and 3)

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

3/14/23:

I totally forgot all of the approaches from yesterday (typing this on the 15th). all I remember is I got a false number.
three approaches in total at the mall. My approach anxiety was HIGH today. Taking a break has really brought me to ground zero. Usually would have done about 6, approach anxiety halved that.

Recently I have realized the most important factor in my game is mindset. Just one harsh rejection and I start doubting myself and it affects how I approach.

How do you guys keep your mindset consistent and condfident? I struggle with this.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

3/22/23:

I've been fighting a horrible sickness for the past week.

Never been more sick in my life.

I'm finally feeling better and did an approach on Monday.

kinda funny I looked unkempt from lying in bed for several days but we had a pleasant interaction.

I forgot to mention on the 15th, the last day before I fell into horrible sickness, I got a number from a very attractive black lady. Very sexy ass.

We were texting to plan the date and I asked her where she lived so I could find a coffee shop nearby to where both of us live. Little did I know that was kinda a mistake. My coach pointed it out to me.

Asking a stranger where they live is a little stalkerish. I mean obviously I didn't mean her exact location like I was trying to find her.

But she interpreted it more towards that extreme.

Really I was just trying to find a convenient coffee shop.

In the future I will just assume they live nearby where I met them and will pick a place near where we met.

This update doesn't have a lot of approaching action in it but hopefully I will start approaching again in the coming days.

The sickness really took it out of me and I've been very sleepy for the past couple days.

As soon as I feel alert and have my vitality back, I will go out for field reports.

On an interesting but non seduction note:

The intense suffering that I went through when I was sick gave me a much more positive and compassionate mindset.

I realized how bad things could get so I wanted to minimize the suffering of those around me.

I think if this experience is used properly, It can aid in me my spiritual growth.

Whenever I am struggling now, I can use this bout of sickness as a reference point in which I can try to mimic the positivity I had then.

Interestingly enough these qualities of mind went away once I started feeling better. Maybe because I could start taking things for granted again.

Regardless of that, I am going to take this experience as a milestone.

Today in the cafeteria at school, This asian girl that I approached a week ago (She is married and with kids) sat down a few tables away.

She's definitely a 10 or 9 and just her presence made feel lust.

Definitely motivates me to go out there an approach.

On the no fap front, my 4 day streak ended (my longest this time around) and the feelings of monkness have gone away. When you slip back into pmo, you loose that clean feeling.

Nofap is also helpful in approaching, your desire is stronger.

I need to cultivate that abstinence again because I really do enjoy the benefits. I feel very level headed when I abstain.

Anyways that's all for now, my goal is to go on an outing by Friday. School is sticking it to me rn so I have to finish that and the pressure to get a new job is making me search harder, that takes time away from girls too.

Hopefully by next week I'll be back on track

Peace.

 

[Conquistador]

We were texting to plan the date and I asked her where she lived so I could find a coffee shop nearby to where both of us live. Little did I know that was kinda a mistake. My coach pointed it out to me.

Asking a stranger where they live is a little stalkerish. I mean obviously I didn't mean her exact location like I was trying to find her.

But she interpreted it more towards that extreme.

Asking “what area are you in?” is a little better. “What area is convenient for you?” also works since she might regularly go to work or the gym or whatever somewhere else.

Really I was just trying to find a convenient coffee shop.

In the future I will just assume they live nearby where I met them and will pick a place near where we met.

That also works

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

3/25/23:

So yesterday I got a number and I've texted her a little. She hasn't texted back in a while so I think it's over. Gonna go over the texts with my coach.

One thing I'm proud of is I tried some things new in the set.

#1: I asked if she had to go to class or if she could chill now. Basically I was checking for insta date possibility. I never try for insta dates but this time I tried.

#2: I imagined fucking her while talking to her at times. It's pretty difficult to pay attention while doing this and I basically gave her this look that showed I was clearly checking her out.

Now for today:

Went to the mall with my new friends. The one I am close with has had 8 girlfriends in his couple of years in the dating game and I'm on the tendency to believe him (I know a lot of people lie about this stuff but I'm choosing to believe him because he's a very likable guy and there's this girl that I vaguely know that wants him to come over to her dorm)

Anyway's after doing an approach (just because I felt I had to get one in if I'm out today), when it's just me and this guy I just described, after commenting on a girl walking by, he supported my decision to approach her. After that I did like 7 more approaches with him as wingman.

It's a lot more fun when you got someone supporting you. He wants to do the same thing with tomorrow. I'm down.

If I have a wingman on the weekends, my confidence and approach volume will skyrocket.

I hope this happens.

The lesson today is not half ass approaches. I know @Chase made an article about this: here

Only two approaches here had girls biting.

Approach 1:

Two girls, around my age. Did the group opener. Friend was cockblocky. The girl I interested was interested in me. I let this one go because the friend was pushing for them to walk off. I should have tried to stop this by saying something. In my experience the girl will usually stop for you if she's interested. But then I'd be battling the friend's frame and I didn't want to try that so I half assed it and headed out.

I should have tried my luck going against what the friend wanted WHILE trying to win over the friend.

Approach 2:

Also two girls, this time friend more open and let's me try to rizz up the girl I want. The girl I am interested is GORGEOUS.

Symmetrical face, long curly brown hair, tall, big body but still slender and not overweight. She told me she used to play volleyball and she had that kind of body.

I tried asking for the number half way through flirting with her but she defaulted to instagram, I obviously didn't accept that and made a joke about how if she gave me her insta, I wouldn't be able to find her out of all of the dms I get from girls. After that we just looked at each other for a few seconds not willing to budge from our standards.

I left when I could have kept going.

I half assed when I could have full assed.

I'm going to go over this with my coach but I have an idea. on how to beat this:

I could have redirected to a different topic of conversation, warmed her up some more, and then when the time is right, try again.

And just keep redirecting an warming up until she budges.

That's the strategy I learned from sales when a customer has an objection.

I took a course on sales once.

I have a feeling this is a good idea and will be similar to what my coach says but we'll see.

Just thinking about this girl arouses me. Leaving thing's unfinished with her left me with this blue balls feeling. Like when your escalating with a girl and then she does LMR and your left being semi aroused.

Maybe this feeling is a gift, I won't rest until I get laid again because then this feeling with be relieved from me.

I say it could be a gift because I really want to knock out like 20 approaches now with my friend tomorrow.

Until next time,

LBR

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

3/26/23:

I did not do 20 approaches today but I did do 16 so pretty close.

So many beautiful women

I got a number but she hasn't texted me back so I'm gonna count it as a false one.

I've been shying away from the need to work on fundamentals.

I NEED to fix my fundamentals.

I was working on my voice today, sometimes trying to make it more appealing when I was talking to my wingman.

I should have been focusing on it with the girls but it is hard to focus on a particular thing when you do an approach.

All of my conscious attention is on talking to her.

I'm going to do some more fundamental research and start practicing in my everyday interactions so the practice becomes second nature when it comes time to approach

My desire to get balls deep in a beautiful women has never been stronger.

I'm doing well with nofap rn and I think that's part of why it is that way.

Another reason is whenever I fail to pull a women I really like, I get this sexually frustrated type of energy that motivates me to approach more women.

I mentioned this yesterday and I'm gonna call it approach blue ball from now on. That's really what it is.

I'd say the approach I was most proud of was this one:

Approach at the mall. We talk for a bit, I ask for number, she rejects. NORMALLY I would give up. This time I tried my idea from yesterday. I redirected the conversation and then asked her again after warming her up, she said no. At that point I decided to call it quits, but maybe I could have tried another cycle of warm up + ask. Her ass was amazing.

The approach where I got the number:

She was with her mom. I asked for mom's blessing before trying to smash. She let me talk to her and then girl I was interested in actually asked me if I wanted her number. I said yes and got her number. I tried to keep flirting but she kept hinting that she wanted to get going by saying, I'll text you.

This the first time I tried to pick up when they were with their mom. My wingman told me how to do it.

My friend thinks that she was uncomfortable being hit on with her mom watching so that's why she wanted to move on so quickly

I have a counter theory that she kept saying I'll text you becuase she wanted me to be satisfied, leave her alone, and then she would not text me when she got home and curve me that way.

I bring this possibility up because it's been 6+ hours since I texted her and no response

I've been having trouble recently with the girl's who I've been getting their numbers. These recent girls are tricky to get on a date.

The last two dates it was very simple, I texted them, they texted back and we set up the date.

These new girls, I'll fuck up in the texting process.

I'm gonna have to ask my coach what's going on because I'm stumped.

16 time is my all time high score so hopefully I can top that.

Fundamentals is the main thing I need to work on.

Peace out,

LBR

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

4/14/23:

A lot has happened since my last update. I was texting four girls at once for a bit but then I lost all of them over trying to hard to flirt over text.
I learned that lesson for good now.

I went to the mall to game for the first time in a while yesterday, I only got 5 approaches in.

Today I went on a date. This was my second date with the girl if I count my insta date with her. From what she's been saying I'm pretty sure we're gonna go on a third one.

I followed my coach's advice of NOT being too physical like I was in the past when I was delusionally trying to go for first date smashes

I think my favorite part of the date was touching her legs, they were so soft. Her legs are definitely her best feature. I was thinking I could compliment her on them in the sexy voice I've been practicing as a way to escalate to me touching her more. Just an idea. Could backfire and be creepy lol.

Today I noticed the dialectic of too scared and not escalating at all and too horny and making her uncomfortable. I have to balance the two. I'm going to ask my coach once I've confirmed the next date on how I can balance these opposing forces and escalate at the proper pace. Because with my ex I was steamrolling my way through escalation as soon as she initiated the first kiss. And there were no problems. But I know every girl is diferent

I also realized that not every girl Is going to give me obvious signs that I want. That's why I need to figure this out. Do I wait for the right signs? What are the right signs? I need to figure all of this out.

Experiment, experiment, experiment! that's the key when you have no experience, that and listen to the more experienced guys out there.

Until next time,

Lord Byron

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

4/21/23:

Approaches done this week: 25 (I need to do more. However I only approached 5/7 days of the week. 70 is the weekly goal (10 a day))

10 approaches a day= 3,650 approaches a year

any notable PUA has at least 10,000 approaches under his belt.

If one approaches 10 a day, in 3 years (10,000 approaches) he would be more than well off in the women department.

That is the virtue in 10 a day.

I'm working on my overall stability before I attempt 10 a day. Mass approaching can drain me.

This is a long term goal of mine, I'll get there. The ambition is good but the pressure not so much.

Exactly a week since my last post. I got like 4-5 new numbers I think. 4 of them actually responded. But yet again I lost all of them. I'm going to ask my coach what went wrong.

I'm going to see if I can start doing coaching calls in the coming months because I'm getting so much exposure to women that the digital Q&A style of coaching isn't covering all of the experience I am getting.

I have my theories why the texting convos aren't working out but I would definitely like to get my ideas clarified by an expert.

I'm just going to do a deep break down of this week for analysis purposes:

1. I've realized recently that the approaches I do when I am unsure of myself almost always lead to rejection. I think adopting a mentality of "If I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it right" and go in sure of myself. Maybe take a few second before the approach to steel myself.

2. My mind is very frantic when I approach at the mall. So much to the point where it's hard for me to focus on any of the fundamentals I'm working on.

I think mindfulness is a skill when approaching. Once mastered, it allows you to focus on whatever you are working on (for me fundamentals). My new focus for mall game is to just be present and manage problematic thoughts effectively via mindfulness.

3. In prior months, my problem was startling or making some women uncomfortable. Now the problem is on the other end of the spectrum, I'm way too friendly. I have great positive interactions with women, but they then end up viewing me as a friend because there's no tension. One girl even called me her younger brother!

I definitely don't have to worry about creeping out girls now, which is a major improvement. But I also don't want them so comfortable that they call me "their younger brother". There needs to be some sexual tension, some edge to it.

4. Everyday before I go to the mall, I work on my voice for 15 minutes. I go into the bathroom, turn on my voice memos and just talk. Then I playback the recording and analyze. Right now I am working on having the right quality, richness, and pitch to my voice.

@Hector Papi Castillo made a video on the voice and he said the 1st step is to find your natural sexy voice range. If you go too low people can tell you are faking it. It needs to be a range which feels natural and is easy to access. I think I'm almost done with this phase of voice training.

Once I have this rich quality of voice second nature in all of my interactions, I will move on to things like tonality, rhythm, and phrasing. Also I suggest listening to Neil DeGrasse Tyson speak, he can be very captivating with his voice.

Tyson speaking here

Here's another great example of an attractive voice, Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl:

Him talking here

why not add some value to the journal by giving examples.

5. I think the problem with some of these texting exchanges is that I am putting out more energy than the girls are, which signals neediness. I'm happy to from a connection with a beautiful women but I need to play it cool.

I've heard less energy is always better than more energy when it comes to women.

Another issue I think is I generalized this one girl's job when mentioning her work bc I forgot what she did specifically, my thought is this could have come off as insensitive like I didn't care to remember what her job was.

Another girl I waited too long to respond because she was showing low interest when I approached her. She said maybe to coffee date when I asked in person. Other reason for not responding could just be the low interest

The rest of the girls it was just low interest in general and I think the solution to that is to have better fundamentals. The better fundamentals will also give me more room for error in the text convos bc she will be more attracted.

I also came across this article this week about Winner Mindsets: here

I read a Tony Depp article that said women look for "winners" as their partners unlike men who are primarily focused on looks.

Lately I've been focused on growth mindset because of this article. I currently have a victim mentality mindset that reinforces itself. I'm trying to change this to growth mindset, which also naturally reinforces itself. If you believe that every failure can be learned from and transformed to future successes then you are in a good position to change your life for the better.

My dopamine fast has been having excellent results, abstaining from junk food and porn even for a couple days has made my depression almost completely go away. I can go most of the day feeling very happy and motivated, the only thing that gets in my way is my ocd. But even that is just a mild discomfort given the control over the condition I have via mindfulness

I just hope my issues don't bother any future girls I'm seeing.

My ex, I didn't let her in at all. I just reflexively played the macho role. So I didn't have that problem at all with her but what about a girl that I actually have feelings for?


Anyways here's what I need to work on for next:

1. Sole focus will be mindfulness during mall game

2. Remember less energy than more in text convos during the initiating phases

3. Continue to practice voice quality

4. Confidence in every approach or dont do the approach at all

5. Practice flirty vocal tonality in sets IF vocal quality has already been mastered

Final note: I make this journal so when I have succeeded and become abundant with women, I have left breadcrumbs in my path for the next generation to follow and reach their own success. May they read these thoughts and not fall into the same traps I have fallen into.

Best,

Lord Byron