The Love Journal

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

4/28/23:

# Approaches this week: 18 (I went on two dates so I decided to no approach on those days)

Over the weekend I had AA and had to study the whole time so I didn't do any approaching.

Monday, I meditated for 15 minutes right before going into the mall and it gave me great results.

Did 10 approaches and got 3 numbers that day. One of the numbers never responded. One of them we talked but she ghosted for some reason I don't know. And the last number I went on two dates with.

I'll get into those two dates now:

#1: was a movie date. we ate at the foodcourt first. I made sure to touch her early on so I break the touch barrier fast. Just a tap on the shoulder, nudging her, stuff like that. After we had eaten we decided to walk around the mall before the movie started. Conversation was okay, maybe a little awkward. After walking around for a while I wanted to escalate things somehow because the energy between us was growing stagnate. So we ended up holding hands, in retrospect I dont think I should of done this for it added no value to this interaction.

Sidebar: In my last date, I took my coach's advice of not going for touch so much and instead be laidback. I tried this but I wasn't getting increasing interest from the girl just from flirting so I concluded that I would need touch in order to create more attraction in future dates. That was my mindset going into this date and it explains a lot of what I'm about to type.

When we were watching the movie, I was alternating from holding her hand to stroking her thigh through out the movie. I thought because she liked holding my hand previously, touching her leg might be beneficial as well. She seemed fine with it so I thought it was fine to do.

The movie ended and things went well when we were leaving the mall and said goodbye.

She texted me instantly afterwards saying she had a good time and wanted to do this again.

#2: Second date she came over to my house and from there we went to a Mexican restaurant to eat. When she first got to my house, I felt the need to entertain I guess because I gave her a tour and showed her a song I made. When we listened to the song, I held her hand because it fit well with the song, the overall vibe I guess. I cringe at doing that because now I know there's a good chance she didn't want to hold my hand

We ate at the place it was still a little awkward, conversation with her was like pulling teeth.

She had no hobbies at all, all she does besides studying is read scary stories on the internet or look at tik tok

This is what she told me.

maybe a great conversationalist could find a way to leverage this but I couldn't.

maybe If I talked about myself more she naturally engage more because I know there's a lot of things I can talk about. I have a lot of views on philosophy, spirituality, society, etc.

But I thought seduction was mostly about getting the girl to open up, so I didn't really talk about myself that much.

When we got back to my house we just listened to music. She said something about me having "wandering hands" when I touched her leg so I guess she didn't like that. I didn't go too far with touching her legs anyways (no inner thigh stuff) because I wanted to be cautious, so when she said that it sounded like it was an annoyance to her not like "hey you are sexually assaulting me".

But for me in my head I was like "now what do I do". My goal for this second date was to kiss her and I thought of touch as a way to accomplish this. But now that I realized I was doing touch wrong, I didn't know how else to get her more attracted to me because when I was only flirting and doing minimal touch with the last girl I dated, It didn't result in increasing attraction.

I was pretty clueless, I have some ideas now, but I'll get into those later.

Before she left we played truth or dare. I could already guess at this time that she didn't want to kiss me, but just to clarify, I asked her "how attracted to me are you'

And she said "Romantically at a 3. Friendship at a 7"

I'm just glad she was honest, a lot girls would try to find some way to not hurt my feelings by being vague, even though I wouldn't take it personally

But yeah, that confirmed my suspicions, and after that date I decided to end things with her because I wasn't talking to her for friendship.

She wanted to still be my friend so I'm hoping that means when I touched her legs it didn't make her too uncomfortable. I really feel bad about doing that though, I never know when it is the right time to do something like that. The last thing I want is to make someone uncomfortable. Hopefully this experience will teach me how to calibrate better.

I just never get the right signs and I just have to be patient until I get those signs because if she's mildly attracted to you, touching her won't make her more attracted to you on it's own.

But here are my takeaways;

Just because you touch a girl and on the surface she doesn't seem to mind, that doesn't really mean anything.

Girls are not like guys, they won't be direct with you and tell you they don't like something, instead they will subtly tell tell you with their words or their nonverbals

This is making me think that the only way to gauge if you should repeatedly do touch is watch her nonverbals closely after you have moved up a rung on the touch ladder.

No change or negative response means to not do it again, positive response means you can do it again.

I'm also realizing that if my fundamentals are not there yet, touch is not going to compensate for my lack of attractiveness

I need to learn how to be sexy. The work on my voice is a good start.

Also during the second date I was sort of keeping track of SAC:

C: She was compliant when I asked her to do small things but she didn't show a positive reaction to doing them for me

A: Touching her was not getting her aroused and neither was flirting, I should have tried breaking small societal rules with her to properly test for arousal

S: Similarity, she probably responded the best to rapport, but it was work to maintain the rapport with her and we didn't have much of an connection. However, If I had tried to flesh out the things we did have in common then maybe things would have been different

For my next date, I'm going to predominantly use other tools such as fundamentals and flirting skills to increase attraction. I think I should learn how to leverage tension as this can be important in creating sexual tension.

It's important to not be too friendly, I was too friendly during the dates and that's why she wanted to be my friend.

I'm going to do some research on the difference between friendly nice guys and sexy guys

I think I have 3 sticking points right now:

Cold approach: improve fundamentals to go from 3/10 numbers to 6/10 numbers

Texting: Ask advice from my coach about previous convos to turn number/date ratio from 5/1 to 5/5

Dates: Go from dates with platonic vibe to dates with sexual vibe (maybe kissing and touching)

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Your first interpretation of almost everything is negative. Here's how i see it

When she first got to my house, I felt the need to entertain I guess because I gave her a tour and showed her a song I made. When we listened to the song, I held her hand because it fit well with the song, the overall vibe I guess. I cringe at doing that because now I know there's a good chance she didn't want to hold my hand

should have tried to kiss her here.

why?

cuz

When we were watching the movie, I was alternating from holding her hand to stroking her thigh through out the movie. I thought because she liked holding my hand previously, touching her leg might be beneficial as well. She seemed fine with it so I thought it was fine to do.

And she goes on a second date with you after this and also told you she had a good time.

So actually, contrary to your belief

Just because you touch a girl and on the surface she doesn't seem to mind, that doesn't really mean anything.

Actually, it does. This is called passive compliance. If a girl lets you do something to her, MOST of the time that's a good sign.

Girls are not like guys, they won't be direct with you and tell you they don't like something, instead they will subtly tell tell you with their words or their nonverbals

Correct, and by letting you do that to her, she was saying "it's okay." If it wasn't okay, she wouldn't have texted you she had a good time, meet you for a second date, and then GO TO YOUR HOUSE. Lol.

So like i said, should have kissed her.

We ate at the place it was still a little awkward, conversation with her was like pulling teeth.

That's because she was probably disappointed that you didn't kiss her. She has little desire to talk, more desire to kiss.

Before she left we played truth or dare. I could already guess at this time that she didn't want to kiss me, but just to clarify, I asked her "how attracted to me are you'

And she said "Romantically at a 3. Friendship at a 7"

Your reponse, "Hmm...I think I know what could change that."

Her - "What?"

*Lean in to kiss her*

But the reason you're at a 3 romantically is BECAUSE you didn't go for the kiss.

When we got back to my house we just listened to music. She said something about me having "wandering hands" when I touched her leg so I guess she didn't like that. I didn't go too far with touching her legs anyways (no inner thigh stuff) because I wanted to be cautious, so when she said that it sounded like it was an annoyance to her not like "hey you are sexually assaulting me".

Wandering hands comment = shit test

If he gets nervous and weird about it = dry pussy

If he smiles and goes "yeah, of course I have wandering hands. look at your beautiful, sexy body" = wet pussy

It's like the double-split experiment. If you don't observe the wandering hands, light is a wave (of dry pussy). You essentially retconned the wandering hands by not owning up to it = light is a wave

if you own up to the wandering hands, double down on that shit, then light becomes a particle. and that particle enters her pussy and activates the floodgates to open up.

or Schrodinger's cat.

If you think the cat's dead, then the cat's dead.

if you think the cat is alive, then it's alive.

that was your moment to show if you're a man or not.

At the moment, you're not.

But you become a man by looking back at that moment, going "fuck, I'm a bit of negative Nancy who always assumes I'm getting rejected and that's CAUSING girls to reject me. How are they going to have faith in my masculinity if I have no faith in my own masculinity?" and then realizing you need to be a bit more confident in your skills.

She went on two dates with you and came BACK TO YOUR PLACE.

What more signs do you need that she's interested? Some big neon light over her head that says, "Hey kiss me?"


WAKE UP BUDDY. DEPRESSING LORD BYRON AIN'T HERE ANYMORE. BIG DICK SWAGGERINO PUSSY CRUSHER MAN IS HERE.

*smacks lord byron in the face to wake him up and quit being so melancholic and self-indulgent*

I hereby order you to change your handle on this forum to "BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY LEGIONNAIRE ."

I'm serious. DO IT.

You take yourself way too fucking seriously.

- Hector

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

5/15/23:

Date today, here's how it went:

Met her at the campus cafeteria, based off of her vibe I could tell I could hug her when we met. We walked and talked around campus for a bit, I used this time to escalate touch slowly. I believe the latter was something like shoulder tap, hand on shoulder, arm around shoulder, hold hands. Then when we sat down on a bench to talk I would tap her on the leg to emphasize a point and then bumped up to placing my hand on her leg momentarily.

I wanted to have this boundary crossed soon, so when we got in my car I could go up to stroking her thigh.

I did this in the car as we drove to the coffee shop.

As I was escalating touch she never showed any hesitation or showed she didn't like it so I assumed It was all good to proceed.

She barely speaks English so we used this vocal translate app to speak easier.

After we had sat down outside to drink the coffee we talked for like 10 mintues. During that time I felt this pressure to kiss her because I felt like if I waited any longer I was never gonna do it, also I wanted to kiss her lol

When I did go in to kiss her she didn't pull back at all, but she didn't lean in either, she was very peaceful about it which I thought was weird because making a move that early isn't usual.

I think I feel this pressure to escalate so fast because A) I have a high sex drive B) I think escalation is never gonna happen if I act how I acted when I was younger which was very platonic

She asked me if how I kissed her was a custom here in America and I laughed and said no. Then she did that thing Latina and Spanish people do, she put her cheeks to my cheeks in form of greeting. I know its supposed to emulate kissing someone on the cheeks but people don't do it that way anymore so I asked her if anyone ever kissed her on the cheeks when doing that and then I did exactly that to demonstrate.

On the car ride back to campus she said twice that we should do this another time. I let her pick the music the on the way back. I had my hand on her thigh like usual because I'm so horny all the time

When we got out of the car we hugged goodbye and I kissed her the lips again. I think she liked it because she smiled. She told me she could go on another date with me tommorow and I told we could text about the details.

Then I went home, thinking things were looking very good.

Here was the texting exchange afterwards:

30 minutes after we parted, Me: I enjoyed hanging out with you today

4 hours went by and the longest she has ever taken respond is 4 hours so my OCD was acting crazy. I used all of the strategies my therapist told me to wait as long as possible before texting again and that longest appeared to be 4 hours, here's what I said:

Did you have fun today?

5 hours later, She texts me back when I'm asleep:

Hi!!! Yes

8am the next morning I text her this, because I think she would want to carry out the plans we were forming:

Let's meet at the same spot at 12 and I'll take us somewhere to eat

3 hours later, her:

Hi, I can't now

3 hours later, me:

Well, let me know when your free

How is your day?

It's been crickets since then.

I have two theories:

1. She was lying to me during the date on how she felt because she wanted to be polite
2. My double text ruined everything

If 1 is true, I just have to tone down my touch

If 2 is true, this is very fixable, I now know that even if I just want to check and get certainty, doing a double a text will actually have a negative impact because it shows neediness and lack of options.

I also recognize I get attached prematurely and if there's a way to stop that, I would definitely do it. I know I can adopt a more realistic mindset that there's a good chance things lead no where.

OCD is a difficult thing, medical professionals have told me it is very hard to treat. I need to have my ocd under control so this whole process if getting girls is easier on me. I think the issue was I gave into the intrusive thoughts this time, I know if I resist a compulsion for a very challenging period of time, that the thoughts will go away. Stressful things such as studying for finals, like in this case, makes the anxiety from ocd magnified. Maybe If I had taken a long walk after the intrusive thoughts came up in order to have a period of time where I could focus on something not stressful while sitting with the intrusive thoughts instead of succumbing to them.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

3/17/23:

Field Report:

as I was going into the mall to do my outing, I decided to listen to the girls chase podcast episode on @Teevster. He explained how being direct can be a bad thing because it can put the girl on the spot as to accept or reject you, some girls rejecting you even if they liked you because they feel pressured and can't make an accurate assessment of whether you are what they want. This made a lot of sense, so I decided to try indirect for the first time today. Here are my results:

1. beautiful gym rat, I used an opener that I thought of while I was walking around: What do you like a man to wear?

she was very receptive, I was very surprised by how friendly she was. She had a boyfriend though.

2. I walked into sephora and told this girl that I followed in that it was my first time in this type of store and I was getting something for my mom. She acted a little awkwardly towards that but we had a conversation about the perfumes they sold and I backed out because she was not as pretty as I thought, I was only looking at her ass when I walked in lol.

3. Black chick with a great ass in Nordstrom, I asked her for directions but then made a conversation out of it by following with an assumption "I had a feeling you would give me good directions, do you go here often". I got her number, she was flirty even which I've never gotten from an approach, usually I am the one trying to flirt, not the other way around

4. Asked a girl walking by in the food court which place was best to eat at. I asked her what she bought and she even showed me the shoes she bought for her father, without me asking her to show me. I think that's pretty good compliance. She said she was too old for me when she was 24 and I was 20, I tried getting around the objection but I couldn't

5. The most attractive girl of the day, I opened her with asking where a store was and she almost walked by me, we has a 6 foot distance. I kept asking questions and she was giving short responses so it was this pattern of taking value and her giving it. She didn't want to give me her number.

6. When I went to the movies with my friends, I got ticket lady's number.

I think there were about 3 more that I forgot about but yeah, indirect seems to work a lot better. Or at least I can say the rejections and the way people treat you, are a lot nicer.

 

[Conquistador]

Yeah direct is overrated for young guys starting out, unless you need to work thru a serious nice guy problem.

My mom has OCD. She say the best thing to do is lots of exposure. Sounds like you’re doing it so keep it up!

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

My mom has OCD. She say the best thing to do is lots of exposure. Sounds like you’re doing it so keep it up!

I appreciate the support, thank you

 

[Teevster]

3/17/23:

Field Report:

as I was going into the mall to do my outing, I decided to listen to the girls chase podcast episode on @Teevster. He explained how being direct can be a bad thing because it can put the girl on the spot as to accept or reject you, some girls rejecting you even if they liked you because they feel pressured and can't make an accurate assessment of whether you are what they want. This made a lot of sense, so I decided to try indirect for the first time today. Here are my results:

1. beautiful gym rat, I used an opener that I thought of while I was walking around: What do you like a man to wear?

she was very receptive, I was very surprised by how friendly she was. She had a boyfriend though.

2. I walked into sephora and told this girl that I followed in that it was my first time in this type of store and I was getting something for my mom. She acted a little awkwardly towards that but we had a conversation about the perfumes they sold and I backed out because she was not as pretty as I thought, I was only looking at her ass when I walked in lol.

3. Black chick with a great ass in Nordstrom, I asked her for directions but then made a conversation out of it by following with an assumption "I had a feeling you would give me good directions, do you go here often". I got her number, she was flirty even which I've never gotten from an approach, usually I am the one trying to flirt, not the other way around

4. Asked a girl walking by in the food court which place was best to eat at. I asked her what she bought and she even showed me the shoes she bought for her father, without me asking her to show me. I think that's pretty good compliance. She said she was too old for me when she was 24 and I was 20, I tried getting around the objection but I couldn't

5. The most attractive girl of the day, I opened her with asking where a store was and she almost walked by me, we has a 6 foot distance. I kept asking questions and she was giving short responses so it was this pattern of taking value and her giving it. She didn't want to give me her number.

6. When I went to the movies with my friends, I got ticket lady's number.

I think there were about 3 more that I forgot about but yeah, indirect seems to work a lot better. Or at least I can say the rejections and the way people treat you, are a lot nicer.

Seems like you are doing things well when it comes to opening like tonality, body language, opening angle... but for now you seem to do ok on opening. It seems like your weakness is what happens post-opening - transitioning, conversing, and hookin. Asking a bunch of questions will not work. Gotta mix things up. Here is a post for you.

Below is a SUGGESTED game plan.

1. Open
2. Pause (wait for reaction)
3. Transition into a hook gambit (asking interesting questions, make an assumption/cold read, baits, etc)
4. Pause (for her response - force her to invest)
5. Follow-up

Good luck and keep it up.

Best,
Teevster

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Seems like you are doing things well when it comes to opening like tonality, body language, opening angle... but for now you seem to do ok on opening. It seems like your weakness is what happens post-opening - transitioning, conversing, and hookin. Asking a bunch of questions will not work. Gotta mix things up. Here is a post for you.

Below is a SUGGESTED game plan.

1. Open
2. Pause (wait for reaction)
3. Transition into a hook gambit (asking interesting questions, make an assumption/cold read, baits, etc)
4. Pause (for her response - force her to invest)
5. Follow-up

Good luck and keep it up.

Best,
Teevster

Thanks, I’ll try it out today

 

[Teevster]

Thanks, I’ll try it out today

Gotta experiment and see what works for you, and you also need to experiment to make those things work for oyu in regards to delivery and timings (the latter is essential and hard to master - it comes only with experience).

That said, I am convinced that the link I provided WILL help you.

-Teevster

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

1. She was lying to me during the date on how she felt because she wanted to be polite

No, she wasn't lying, but your eager behavior when texting kinda ruined it for you. I'm sure there were hints of this anxiety on the date, but they were probably cute to her. A little bit of nervousness is cute to a lot of women and helps with attainability. They know they have an effect on you and this actually lets you get away with more sexuality; they don't feel like it's some player just running his moves on her.

You're always assuming women are lying/playing games with you. You can't let these conspiracies run wild in your head. It'll just lead to suffering. Take everything at face value.

She was into you. It was the truth. she smiled when you kissed her. Women don't do that if they don't like you.

But then she wasn't into you.

She told me she could go on another date with me tommorow and I told we could text about the details.

But this you can't take so LITERALLY.

You need to take things at face value, meaning her emotions are real.

But don't take every statement from women as the LITERAL way things will play out.

I.e.,

She says "we meet tomorrow" -> "we meet tomorrow"

"We meet tomorrow" REALLY means "I feel the emotions to see you tomorrow right now," but it doesn't mean it will actually happen.

It's like when you drunkenly make plans with friends, like let's go bowling in a few days!

Then everyone wakes up the next day hungover and realizes they don't really feel like going bowling or they forgot they have plans.

BUT, if you were to wait a few days and then say "hey guys, remember that bowling idea? I found this cool alley we could go to" and you get everyone's schedule, then you can make it happen.

The emotions to meet up are there, but handling the logistics is a completely different step.

The reason you feel like she was "lying" to you is because her statement of "we meet tomorrow" went into your OCD brain and was set into a diamond-reinforced platinum box of truth that MUST BE FOLLOWED TO THE EXACT MEASUREMENTS AND CANNOT BE BROKEN INTO AND ALTERED. Then when things didn't follow these exact plans, you think "Oh crap I got inceptioned and she planted a false dream into my super ultra box of truth!" and you think it's ALL a dream.

Women saying what she feels =/= an exact plan for how thing will work.

You need to instead see what women say as a DIRECTION things MIGHT go into and you have to carry this "truth" carefully like a waiter holding 5 plates all at once to a table. It's not really hard to do (I was a waiter once), but you DO need to pay attention and if you wobble too much, you will drop the plates/drinks.

5 hours later, She texts me back when I'm asleep:

Hi!!! Yes

You were still safe here. She was okay with your cute anxiety of wanting to know if she had a good time.

Let's meet at the same spot at 12 and I'll take us somewhere to eat

3 hours later, her:

Hi, I can't now

3 hours later, me:

Well, let me know when your free

How is your day?

This is where you lost her.

Heck, you might still have been okay after "hi I can't now," if you just maybe said "ok" then texted her a few days later (but you had already dropped one or two plates that you were carrying).

But the "let me know when your free" and "how is your day" was too much. It's normally an okay sequence of texts, but in the context of you being ultra anxious before it was the final nail to make her go "okay ya i think this isn't just cute nervousness but this guy is WAY too invested."

You seem to be doing fine on dates and your anxiety is far less palpable, but over text, anxiety is magnified ten-fold.

Source: me, super anxious dude who had to enforce ridiculous discipline into his texting to not lose too many girls.

Discipline, my dude. Discipline.

When your anxiety methods that your therapists gave you failed, just think of this

"If i send a text like this, I'm going to lose her. If i don't send this text, I COULD be balls deep in her pussy in the near future. Which is more important to me - satisfying this demon of anxiety or getting my dick slathered in Latina juice?"

The promise of pleasure from discipline should be more powerful than your anxiety (I hope).

You're maybe trying too hard to beat anxiety with resistant mechanisms; instead you need to give your heart/mind something MORE tasty than satisfying your anxiety - and pussy is one damn strong motivator.

Disciplined texting = pussy

anxious texting = no pussy

Hector

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

5/19/23:

I went out again to the mall to try out indirect, here's how it went:


1: Walked in to Macy's behind this girl, when I was about to pass her, I complimented her on her dress, and then just started asking questions (it's a bad habit I have) she politely ended the interaction. I think because I forgot to hook her. I should have complimented, waited for response, then say hook, maybe something like "that dress looks like something a first lady would wear" Would you guys consider that hook worthy? I think it's a creative statement that could elicit a response. If not that, I could give an assumption, that always works. But I think the confidence and descriptiveness of the assumption makes it even more powerful

2: I saw a bad bitch walk into a lululemon, I walked past the Lululemon because I didn't know how I could do an indirect open inside of a lululemon. But I also thought, "I can't pussy out, let me do direct". So I did direct. It felt 10x easier than indirect and she was responding well. She said she didn't have an American number and when I asked for her WhatsApp she said she was flying tomorrow. So yeah, I probably was not as smooth as I thought. The chances are low that she didn't have a us number and she also had to leave the next day, she probably didn't want to talk to me. Would you call that realism or pessimism?

3: This girl I asked if I could make a guess about her and she just said no and walked off. Maybe I should have pre-opened, like if I randomly said "I'm guessing your a nurse" (she was wearing scrubs)

4: Girl was walking with her sister and mother, as soon I was about to pass them, I said: "I like your outfit, do you like to wear all black" I should have broken that into two statements, waiting for her to respond to the first one

The conversation in this wasn't memorable, I was just grasping at questions like @Teevster pointed out, BUT, halfway through I realized this and started making statements instead. It wasn't enough to gain back the power and momentum so when I asked for her number I got a no.

5: Two girls were walking by and I decided to follow them a bit. I made sure to be on the side of the girl I liked. When I was about to pass them, I asked the girl, "hey, can I make a guess about you?" (maybe: "hmmm, I have a feeling about you" would've been better question vs. statement)

Her: sure

Me: I feel like you read a lot, your a book worm

Her: I like to read but I wouldn't say a lot (at this point I could tell she was hooked from her nonverbals)

We talked a bit more and then I asked for her number and she said she would only give her instagram, so I deflected, bought some more time and then asked her again and she still would not do phone number, she said:

"But I don't know you"

Me: "But that's why I'll get your number, so you can get to know me"

Her: No

, so I got her instagram but it turned out to be fake (big surprise).

Maybe I'll ask my coach about how to deal with that objection better, my method of changing the topic only works some of the time.


There were I think 2-3 other approaches I forgot, writing this a day late. So 7-8 total.

A pretty unrewarding outing but the experience is golden

Takeways:

1. You can pre open with any observation, than transition into a cold read hook

2. You are not doing interviews, mix in statements that are not followed by questions, maybe reread the article @Teevster sent.

 

[KJ Francis]

Re: girl #2, she may have been screening/testing you to see if you were looking for a girlfriend, or the type who can deliver a good fuck before she leaves.

Remember Hector mentioned pessimism and Schrödinger’s cat?

It is important to assume attraction. Imagine if you had looked at it from the perspective that she’s wandering a mall killing time and may have been totally open to joining you. You could have asked about what she was doing in town, where she was going, etc. Get her to share her story, which makes her feel comfortable and connected to you, move her (ask her to walk with you) and/or take a drive to see a scenic place to make the most of her time before she leaves, then fuck her in the back seat.

If she says no to leaving the store with you, you’re in the same spot as giving up, but with additional experience of moving fast.

Why are you asking for numbers? Why not ask for girls to go get a smoothie or something with you? If they’re not available then, why not ask them to meet you later, or “sometime”? If she is open to that, then ask for contact details and text to continue that thread of conversation (setting a date).

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Re: girl #2, she may have been screening/testing you to see if you were looking for a girlfriend, or the type who can deliver a good fuck before she leaves.

Remember Hector mentioned pessimism and Schrödinger’s cat?

It is important to assume attraction. Imagine if you had looked at it from the perspective that she’s wandering a mall killing time and may have been totally open to joining you. You could have asked about what she was doing in town, where she was going, etc. Get her to share her story, which makes her feel comfortable and connected to you, move her (ask her to walk with you) and/or take a drive to see a scenic place to make the most of her time before she leaves, then fuck her in the back seat.

If she says no to leaving the store with you, you’re in the same spot as giving up, but with additional experience of moving fast.

Why are you asking for numbers? Why not ask for girls to go get a smoothie or something with you? If they’re not available then, why not ask them to meet you later, or “sometime”? If she is open to that, then ask for contact details and text to continue that thread of conversation (setting a date).

All good points. I think the overarching lesson is to always try to improvise and see how you can move forward the interaction. Even if success is low probability, the experience is invaluable.

I think this also highlights mindset. I was EXPECTING for direct not to work and was surprised when she was responding warmly. If I had been more optimistic, I probably would have tried harder to move the interaction forward.

 

[KJ Francis]

Yeah man, always be closing! Keep it up!

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

May 25, downtown



Approached a girl, I was facing her while she was turning a corner. She got some distance past me, 6 feet, after I opened then she left gradually as I tried to start a conversation. My voice was higher pitched like I was talking to a child might want to change that.



Second girl. I approached we were walking in the same direction. She was receptive to my opener. We shook hands. I didn’t know how to get her to stop it was very frustrating. Maybe I should have said I was also going to Panera and walked in with her? Idk I know she liked me and if we had stopped at a cross walk, I know I would have gotten her number. Next time I’m going to try to verbally stop her, but that would take a lot of compliance, im confused as what to do



Third girl:



I thought she was going to follow my direction but she didn’t she stopped behind me early at the bus stop. So I turned around and went indirect she has bad English skills and she needed to leave for her bus immediately so I didn’t get the number maybe I should learn Spanish, I could have talked to her



Fourth girl:



I did the indirect but she didn’t understand so I spoke only Spanish and I got her number. My Spanish is horrible so this was impressive for me. I didn’t do anything special. I stopped when she said she didn’t understand English and she stopped with me. I guess I was lucky.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

May 27th: mall





Approached a girl in the food court while she was walking. My vocal tonality was energetic and entertaining, we had a good talk but she had a boyfriend. Interaction was good for momentum tho





Younger girl and older girl walking in the mall, I think younger girl could tell I was following or wondered herself. I didn’t follow them into the store in fear or being looked at as a creep. I should have approached faster, run up and then slowly walk to catch up.





I caught to them later at star bucks and we had a short conversation, they left early tho because Starbucks had no ice, I couldn’t follow them again but I tried my best





Next approach did not hook so I left it





This approach I walked into a Victoria’s Secret to approach this thick bitch, I timed my approach wrong and it didn’t stick, she didn't hook





Beautiful girl, fit and Brazilian, like one of my exes. She was a flirt but she had a boyfriend. I did everything right on my part, she was laughing and everything. Next time I run into the boyfriend objection and she’s worth a struggle, I will keep going, that is my plan for in the future





Bad bitch, fit, fat ass. She responded to my situational opener well. Then I went for “you seem to be shy but in a good way” gambit. This new idea of mine, naturally leads into a philosophical debate over whether it is better to be extrovert or introvert. I’ve used the hook twice today and it has worked well. I got this girls number after some banter about her shopaholic lifestyle, which made her laugh. When I mentioned coffee, she looked at me wistfully and nodded so I’m a little unsure about this one, but a man can hope.





Went in to aerie, found a bitch with a fat ass. My open was “does this place have mens clothing” very stupid opener, the frame is horrible. I need to think of something I can say while at a womens store. I’ll just go situational and not address why I’m there. If they ask, I’ll say I’m shopping for a friend in their place. I guess I could comment on the clothes, or the nature of the store, maybe the prices. And then go into my gambit. The problem with this approach is I am uncomfortable because I have no reason to be in a womens store. I’ll just be brave and have no shame.





Indian girl, I thought she was a high school but she actually finished medical school. I spooked her by accident and I used that to hook her in. She has a boyfriend and was not worth fighting for (not hot enough)





Two middle eastern women. The one I liked was sassy and tricky to get, didn't work out





Hooked a black girl, used two cold reads, only reason she didn’t give her number was because I said I was 20, she was 27.





2 more after that.





Then this one:





Bad bitch, so curvy. She was carrying food to a table, so tricky context for me to work with. She did not hook to my hook and went in a different direction as myself. It’s risky, because if I kept going in her direction she would sit at a table and that table may have men or cock block women. If I had continued I would only have another 10 seconds max to hook her and I still don’t know how to stop women in indirect so there was not a lot I could do





Last one:





I was leaving the mall when I saw a Latina and her mom walk towards the mall. I approached with direct and she gave me her number almost immediately, in under 20 seconds, hopefully we go on a date.





Good things about this outing:





Vocal tonality was intentional and interesting





Energy was high and positive on my end, I think I had good momentum going into this outing because I was singing my favorite songs in the car on the way over and I meditated for 10 minutes before leaving the house. I am going to do these elements again before my next outing, maybe they are keys to good momentum.





Down town:





Two athletic girls, both beautiful. I waited for them to pass me before I followed them. I used a situational and then did my hook “I feel like you two are really good friends” I didn’t elaborate or make it spicy, and I don’t think they really hooked. When I introduced myself, I stopped and tried to shake their hand, they didn’t stop With me, I should have known because I didn’t get an emotional reaction from the open. She asked me if I always talk to random strangers and I said only cute girls and went direct. If they weren’t responding well, then direct would most likely make them reject and this is what happened, next time I will make sure to not stop unless they are hooked and I have reason to believe they will stop Witt me.





Girl at Panera bread, some instinct told me to approach her even though I didn’t feel like it. She hooked so easily and strongly to my assumption because she really thought it was correct. We talked but it didn’t have a flirty vibe to it, more friendly, I think that’s why she gave me her business card which had her number, instead of typing it into the phone





I did a direct on the street, facing her. She wanted to keep talking to me and happily gave her number, though she could barely understand English so I don’t know if she could tell I wanted to take her out





Girl was walking past me, I turned around and followed, maybe it was too obvious idk, but she was shy to the opener and even more uncomfortable with the gambit, so I just apologized for making her uncomfortable and left, maybe apologizing was a Pussy move but I don’t like it when I make women uncomfortable





5 more approaches, 2 hooked well and I got numbers, the last was a great set, she was very happy to see me




5/30/23: college campus





Stared at a girl while she waked by, then got up and followed her then tried to approach. She acted like I didn’t exist. Which makes sense, I shouldn’t have stared, that made my intentions obvious





Did direct from a seated position while a girl was walking by, I got her number but she was skeptical and I had to lie about my age for her to accept the idea of going out with me. I need to figure out how to deal with objections and noncompliance. I think if I just spend more time with them, they will relax a little, if not I should go into objection handling and have good reasons to counter concerns





Did direct to a Latina milf and she was very happy to talk to me, getting her number was easy, I stuttered a bit or fucked up my vocal tone while talking to her but she didn’t care





Mall





Direct in the food court to a college girl, she had a boyfriend but she really liked my compliment, so maybe a good sign idk





Mother and her daughter, the mom was married but I had to try she was so hot





Latina cousins walking by in the food court, I did indirect with them, but they didn’t bite very well to my hook I should have made if juicer “I think you two are best friends” vs. “I feel like you two are best friends, like the type of best friend that you share all of your secrets with”





Approached a girl direct, seated woman, she was married but she liked my compliment





A girl sat across from me in the food court, we made eye contact and then I approached her. I made use of teevster’s fluff talk technique and keeping her emotionally stimulated during the conversation. After I got the number I made sure to keep talking to her so it wasn’t weird. Her friend was watching us while she was in line for food, the girl told me I should get going bc her friend was coming soon and I agreed and left. If I had insisted to stay, it would have put pressure on the situation. I think if you say, “well 3’s good company” in a non pushy relaxed way then maybe things would have gone okay





Follow a girl walking into macys, used indirect “it’s so hot out” “I feel like your a teacher” she got close to me so I knew I could touch her a little bit more, she was running late to work I think. I might have been a little to needy, saying “ that’s a good thing for me” when she said she was single and trying to figure out how much time we had to speak.








6/3/23 strip mall





Went down the same aisle as hot Indian chick in a container store. She was barely giving responses so I resorted to just asking questions and that’s why I lost her. I should juiced out my cold read, make it very juicy and then she would’ve hooked stronger





Beautiful black bitch in a book store SO busty she looked amazing. I made a situational opener about the books, pretending to look at books while next to her, she got drawn in easy, I used strategic pauses in my opener in order to sound my attractive, I think it worked. Had a mini date with her, touched her arm a couple times while talking to her to build up touch comfort, we vaguely planned getting coffee, sometime next weekend. I’m going to start text convo, once she’s hooked, make plans for date and then take breaks from texting her up until the date so she doesn’t lose interest and I have more room for error because there are less opportunities to fuck up. I need to implement my coaches advice, women want interesting men, not needy serious men.





Girl in pizzeria, she was a hired gun, we talked for a bit but she had to take a call from a customer and when she came back I asked for her number and she said no. I went direct, maybe if I had gone indirect I could have hooked her better. I had tried looking away while speaking and then coming back to her, not sure what effect it had.


Take aways:

I need to work on my confidence, just from reading my writing I can tell I'm anxious when I'm approaching

I need to work on my fundamentals more and be able to think on my feet, in order to properly adjust to any situatuon

Your friend,

The biggest dick in the house

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

6/4/23: Strip mall

I am officially 20 today, may I be drowning in pussy by the time I am 30!

There was a girl sitting down at one of the outside tables, she was on a call but I decided to go over to her anyways. We talked but she wouldn’t give me her number and she was very adamant about that. I got her snap chat instead.


She didn’t respond on snap, big surprise there, It makes me upset that she lied to me like that, I should've known she wasn't going to respond



Ran up to this girl in the parking lot, went direct. She seemed to be very into me, we kept interrupting each other while talking because we were both eager to speak, we had good chemistry. She was even telling me places near me where we could get coffee. I got her number and then left.





She didn't text me back, I have no idea why





6/5/23: College campus

Girl waiting for her uber. She didn’t hook and I went direct, so I kinda left hooking up to chance. I always forget that I can still do indirect to seated girls if I walk slow enough. If I had gone indirect, hooked her, then I may have gotten her number. I was just asking questions, poor use of fluff talk, maybe I should take more time speak, pause for a second and think of a comment instead of a question


Next girl, I went indirect with her. She seemed very interested, she was talking in a sexy way so while she was giving me her number I touched her shoulder a bit in a little bit of a sensual way, she didn’t seem to mind and we hugged when I left. I didn’t do anything special, she just hooked really well. I think my hook was “I feel like beaches are your favorite place, you love to go to the beach”

This next girl I think I did indirect but then she asked me why I came up to her and then I went direct and told her why. She was slow to warm up but I think I did a good job of following convo threads and not asking too many questions. By the time she had to go to catch up with her friend, I had gotten her number and she agreed to coffee

This girl I talked to while she was passing by a doorway, it was kinda awkward we talked in the middle of the door way for a few second before I decided to move us out of the doorway. Same procedure as the last one, following convo threads and got her number. I think as long as you don’t do anything wrong in the first minute you can get her number pretty consistently.

However that last one did not respond to my text, so I guess I did not do a good job with her

6/9/23:

Grocery store

All of the women I approached were married except one, here’s how that one went:

Went direct, asked her what groceries she got. She told me she was on break at Starbucks, I talked to her about what its like to work their, I had her guess my favorite drink from their. I got her number BUT she was in a rush to leave so I could tell she wasn’t very interested. And she’s hasn’t responded as of now and its been like 9 hours. How do I make women in a hurry want to stay? I guess I have to hook them strongly enough. After I got her number she thought it was her cue to leave and I couldn’t stop her from going. Maybe I should wait longer to grab a girls number in order to maximize the odds that she responds when I text her. Now that I think about it, all of the time’s a girl hasn’t responded to my first text, it was in a set that was under 5 minutes. Not saying it has to be 10 minutes, but maybe a 7 minute set would give her enough to time to like me. This could very well be a fundamentals issue, I need to work on my fundamentals more.

 

[KJ Francis]

Dude, you just turned 20 and are doing this level of day game approaching? It will not take you until 30 to be drowning in pussy as you surmised.

What’s your lay count? Are any of these numbers turning into dates?

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Dude, you just turned 20 and are doing this level of day game approaching? It will not take you until 30 to be drowning in pussy as you surmised.

What’s your lay count? Are any of these numbers turning into dates?

Let's hope my hard work pays off

I usually go on a date every week. I do about 30-40 approaches a week. 1/35 date to approach ratio.

My stats are horrible, but I've started a new training regimen that's bound to pay off, I can share it with you if you like, it's a 360 approach covering every aspect of game.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

6/10/23:

I had a date today

Date started off okay, we were across from each other at a coffee shop but I told her to sit beside me because it was like covid distance apart.

We had good chemistry, she was asking me questions whenever there was a pause in the conversation.Convo and chemistry was good throughout the date, except for the last 15 minutes

After awhile, I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk because I knew their would be more opportunities to touch her if we were out walking + compliance if she says yes to moving. We walked for a while then sat outside on a bench, I escalated touch a little more, touching her leg, when we crossed the street touching the small of her back.

When we were walking back to the coffee shop, I sensed the dynamic shift because she wasn't filling in the gaps anymore in the conversation, I was stuck putting in more work to keep the convo afloat. Maybe this is because she wanted to leave so the reduction in talking was her anticipation to leave?

All I know is something shifted when we were walking back. I tried to kiss her when we hugged goodbye and she pulled away very fast, she really did not want to kiss me.

She texted me afterwards that she wanted to be friends

One time when we were sitting on the bench, I think she saw my screensaver, which would be fine, except my screensaver is a weight loss inspiration pic for me of me shirtless when I was younger back when I had my six pack. She laughed a little when she saw it, I just hope she didn't think I was gay or something and that that was some eye candy I liked to look at, Jesus Christ

Takeaways:

1. I really didn't try hard to flirt this time, maybe that created a friend vibe because I wasn't flirting as much. I thought our good chemistry could substitute for flirting, but I guess I was wrong
2. touching in a romantic way does not equal romantic frame because she saw me as a friend regardless of me touching her
3. I need to work on creating that man to woman frame. I think through use of non verbals, flirting, and touch. I only had one of these components today
4. Something different from two dates ago and today was that back with that Latina girl, I think my vocal tonality was more flirty, the girl today was an intellectual so I thought I could geek out on some things more and use a more academic tone. I think I need to keep that flirty tone.
5. This girl told me she was from a specific downtown area and I've found that women from that area are more my type, so I think I'm gonna hang around there more, they got ass off the charts