The Love Journal

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Just wanted to check in, I'm so hyped up to improve myself

Decided to switch from 2,000 to 1,900 calories a day (I was really eating 2,200 so it is a pronounced difference)

I guess I feel so good because I know I have enough discipline to get what I want

desire---> untapped willpower and discipline----> find ways to motivate yourself to increase investment and therefore get access to untapped willpower-----> you get the willpower you need to deal with setbacks and pain that comes from trying to achieve something difficult ----> unforeseen problems occur that require you to find more willpower that can over come new challenges ----> repeat motivation and investment gain to get more willpower---> repeat last two steps as you progress and face new challenges-----> you have learned all of the habits necessary to achieve and maintain your goal, you know the cost of achieving your goal and you know how to pay the cost indefinitely and therefore you have succeeded

This is my conceptualization of the glow up journey, and is why I feel so good.

I am totally prepared to eat 300 cal less and study late at night to achieve my longterm goal. These are two things I was not able to do at the start of the journey.

Currently in the middle of study sesh + cleaning up the house

anyways on another note

rekindled with girl from my last FR.

We arranged to meet today, but she said she was throwing up bc of her period.

Only reason she would mention that is if she thought we were going to fuck today, I think she even said "sorry no sex today"

If she's lying about the throwing up, my odds aren't good, might just drop that

If she fr abt that shit, im gonna be fucking her a lot in the coming months, she seems down, but I'm skeptical bc of the type of resistance she was giving yesterday

It's crazy, second time we fucked it's like my dick formed a bond with her pussy. Like I got even harder than the first time and my dick. was like anticipating that shit right before she put it in, idk how to explain

Imma turn her into a throat goat frrrrr

When I texted her for the first time in a while yesterday, she texted back like almost instantly

but I got a hotter girls instagram today, we're actually texting back n forth on insta

she put up a lil resistance but I did some leading and now currently waiting to hear back from her

I've never eaten ass, but if this girl gets an enema, I'm eating that shit out (no pun intended, I did not mean actual shit!)

@fog? Was talking act how girls set you up for you good frames in Brazil and Colombia, in the group chat, and that shit reminded me of my old goal to do a conquest of South America and smash all of the pussy their

As long as I save my money accordingly, I think when I'm 27-29, I'll be able to tour South America for a couple months. By then my game will really fucking good, the transformation will have taken place a long time ago, all of the trauma healed etc.

Just a big goal I've got, another big goal is start fucking only fan/porn stars, but all in do time, I must lay the ground work (fundamentals) from which I can build a whore house for my harem

It's the small things that build greatness,

ciao,

Biggus (the assologist )

 

[Conquistador]

Decided to switch from 2,000 to 1,900 calories a day (I was really eating 2,200 so it is a pronounced difference)

I guess I feel so good because I know I have enough discipline to get what I want

desire---> untapped willpower and discipline----> find ways to motivate yourself to increase investment and therefore get access to untapped willpower-----> you get the willpower you need to deal with setbacks and pain that comes from trying to achieve something difficult ----> unforeseen problems occur that require you to find more willpower that can over come new challenges ----> repeat motivation and investment gain to get more willpower---> repeat last two steps as you progress and face new challenges-----> you have learned all of the habits necessary to achieve and maintain your goal, you know the cost of achieving your goal and you know how to pay the cost indefinitely and therefore you have succeeded

This is my conceptualization of the glow up journey, and is why I feel so good.

I am totally prepared to eat 300 cal less and study late at night to achieve my longterm goal. These are two things I was not able to do at the start of the journey.

It’s great that you’re doing all this

Just be careful to get good sleep and take care of your brain because that is key to long-term success

In my mind regularly studying too hard and too late could counteract your heroic work with health and fitness

But either way, props on being so disciplined! You’re already in the top 5% of guys just from doing that.

but I got a hotter girls instagram today, we're actually texting back n forth on insta

she put up a lil resistance but I did some leading and now currently waiting to hear back from her

Can you expand on that part? I basically don’t try very hard to overcome resistance in the texting phase unless there’s a social frame

Just a big goal I've got, another big goal is start fucking only fan/porn stars,

Why exactly? lol

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

It’s great that you’re doing all this

Just be careful to get good sleep and take care of your brain because that is key to long-term success

In my mind regularly studying too hard and too late could counteract your heroic work with health and fitness

But either way, props on being so disciplined! You’re already in the top 5% of guys just from doing that.

Can you expand on that part? I basically don’t try very hard to overcome resistance in the texting phase unless there’s a social frame

Why exactly? lol

Thank you for the support @Surveyor, I give the same support to you

Just be careful to get good sleep and take care of your brain because that is key to long-term success

I have sleeping pills at my disposal plus over the counter, I’ve used them often recently but I haven’t missed a night of sleep in a long time

But I think I should start winding down earlier, so I don’t have to use the pills as often, good point

Can you expand on that part? I basically don’t try very hard to overcome resistance in the texting phase unless there’s a social frame

this girl it didn’t go so well with bc I didn’t crack down on the resistance

my last couple dates and numbers are making we realize this:

seducing a woman is like a taming a wild horse, you have to break her resistance and get her to follow you

once you are leading, you can lead her anywhere essentially, even right into your bed

the approach is key to establishing authority figure frames, you do this through your nonverbals mostly

if you don’t establish this correctly

you can get a women being resistant and stand-offish over text

they can refuse to answer your good natured questions that are attempts at conversation, and instead argue with you

they are looking for a reason to reject you, because something about your approach whether it be bad fundamentals or nonverbals
made them doubt you

this is how it happened with this girl

other girls are more polite over text, yet they will test you on the date

knowing how to counter resistance is key to getting. a girl to follow you

there are many different ways

reassertion

pont weaknesses in her arguement

amplifying her argument

and ignoring her

if all else fails you tell her to knock if off

No matter which you use, and choice of method depends on the situation

there will come a time where either she breaks and you have tamed the wild horse (for a time at least she will be satisfied, women periodically test men) or she will continue and the you must leave because sticking around will create a new frame that is “I will put up with this abuse because I want pussy so I have submitted to her”

And it’s rare a man gets laid when a women is in the driver seat, more likely, she will reject you then keep you around as an orbiter, if you let her

so the only option you can do is leave, and this puts pressure on her if she wants you she will have to chase and break her own frame

so for the second time this girl tried to arguement with me, I sent her the emoji, and left her to decide if she wants to cooperate with me or not

if you want to know the whole convo, I can show you, just lemme know in a private chat

Why exactly? lol

Because they love sex, are really good at it, really hot, party girls, and they have the same views on sex as me: it’s just something to do for fun, they are hedonists and I am too

So basically my dream girl for my 20’s poly amorous lifestyle that I am working so hard to obtain at this moment

To me: sexual freedom is the ultimate freedom

I have this rule for myself; once I’m 30 I can start looking for a wife

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

I felt like I had to make an update to the journal:

complete 180

switching from prioritizing girls to prioritizing myself

never should of made something external from myself more important than myself

I want to be a healthy person before I even think of getting into dating again

healthy body
Healthy mind

the 6month plan was about becoming a finished product that women would want to fuck

this new plan is about becoming healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually,

so the default where my head is at, is a healthy balance between helping myself and helping others, born out of genuine compassion for myself and for all others

it’s about being the producer of my own feel good emotions so I never feel like I “need” women, or “need” lots of friends in order to feel good

self sufficiency, not self dependency

so when I go to date again, I won’t need anything from women, there won’t be this extreme hunger.

Rather I will have the confidence and self worth, to feel like I am coming from an equal place of value to the women I am talking too

how am I going to do this?

well, I’ve been delving into bhuddism and adding in my bhuddist practices as a supplement to therapy

the therapy is good at fixing specific issues

the bhuddism is good at changing general attitudes

so they work well together

So far I’ve seen big improvement in only a week

things that would’ve gotten me upset I just brush past

instead of cursing at someone, I find a way to get along with them

a huge part of this plan is getting rid of the food and porn addiction

I’m abstaining from both at the same time

it is very difficult, I am taking small steps at first, like reducing frequency instead of going cold Turkey

going to the gym and weight loss are still in the mix, mainly for health reasons, not mostly for women

I’ve realized the reason I approached 1,000 in under a year was because I was so severely addicted to porn. Once I got decent at approaching, it built up the lust even more because now I had a shot at being with some of the girls

So a big part of my healing is to deprogram the intense lust that makes it very hard for me not to approach a women I like.

It is an addiction and even when I would like to stop approaching I can’t sometimes because if feels really uncomfortable to repress the urge

Going longer and longer without porn should alleviate this

I observe and practice parts of bhuddist philosophy through the day, mostly peices of the four noble truths and the eight fold path

if anyone is interested, I can share some of the practices

currently during a loving kindness meditation at least 2x a day

I would like to discard PUA philosophy for being cold or insincere, but like the bhuddas observations, the observations of PUA’s are true as well, they hold true when applied to reality.

so I am still here

but when my time is here, I want to be a genuine PUA, I don’t want think of the seduction process as some hindrance in which I spit my stack and then finally get laid

I want to connect with the women, I want to feel a part of them when I talk to them, and then share an intimate sexual experience. It must be based in a deep compassion and curiosity for others

onwards and up.
Biggus

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Not a lot has changed

I realize it's about the journey, not the destination

It's about making progress.

I'll make a lot of progress, and then I'll make a mistake and lose some of it

But definitely making more progress than losses

I be going on the forum because I wanna connect with girls again, but Ik it's best for me to recover first, so checking on this forum is my way of expressing that desire.

There's definitely gonna be a day, maybe 6months to a 1 year from now, when I'll be ready and I'll just go all out

But I know I'm not ready yet

It's like when Bruce Wayne trained with the ninja's up in the mountains. He became Batman when he knew he was ready.

I will know when I am ready.

But so far a lot of progress has been made, mostly with self esteem, little bit with dieting, little bit with exercise, started to make music again

I just feel comfortable in my own skin, for the first time, and it's only going to get better.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

I have started to fall in love with the idea of falling in love, I think this is a part of healing.

When I was in the depths of my hundreds of approaches, I only wanted to fuck. It was like running around with a bleeding wound in my chest, asking anyone if they had a band-aid.

Now that I’ve taken a break, I’m more concerned about the love part and not the sex part.

I could just watch porn if I wanted to feel pleasure, I bet the better the seducer you become, the more pleasure you can extract from sex, yet the mechanism is the same.

Love is something more complicated, I believe it effects you in a more nuanced way. By the way that you can give to someone as much as you want, without getting rejected or judged, you can be safe knowing that they will support you no matter what. And even better, you in turn enjoy when this person gives selflessly to you in their own unique way, because it is them that you support no matter what, just for being who they are.

I believe most people will not be able to experience this relationship in their lifetime, just because they have the wrong mindset when they are looking for a relationship. They are looking for something to get or even take from someone:

Can I get sex, approval, validation, love from this person?

They don’t love the other person for who they are, but rather for what they can give them.

A true lover is not concerned of whether they will stay, or what they give them, they will spend time with their lover, just because they love spending time with them, they enjoy the moments they have and do not take them for granted, for they know it will not last forever, because even at the most prolonged, even in death we eventually lose our all relationships

It’s loving someone for who they are, and wanting them to be happy even if that does not benefit you, and even if it hurts you.

At that point you don’t spend time with them anymore, but you still Iove them. Sometimes moving on with your life is the best thing you can do for someone, including yourself.

but what I am trying to describe is a purity to love, that is almost mystic in its quality and special

and this doesn’t even have to be confined to people you have sex with

you can love your friends with a certain level of purity that deepens the relationship

In my quest to purify myself I am purifying all of my relationships and that is a beautiful feeling,

Matt

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Big update:

I am finally making big impacts with losing weight. I have the right determination and perspective, I’m also in a position to get free coaching from a dietitian (already lost 3 lbs).

Finally realized, from a place of self compassion, not self worthlessness, that I need more charisma if I want to lead a more satisfying life. It’s just better for my own well-being to be more charismatic. I used to want to do it because then I’d be more well liked and be given more attention - that’s a more needy or desperate perspective. Now I’m like: “okay, I’m cool with myself now, but I get taken for granted by a lot of people. My life would be better if I used charisma to let all of my positive qualities shine through, then people would see I’m cool”. Basically I believe charisma would make my relationships better and it might even give me new relationships, that wouldn’t have happened if I stayed unrefined

It is the same to a similar extent with losing weight, if you look cool more people will fuck with you. But that’s not the main reason I’m losing weight, im losing weight for my own health, first and foremost, cool looking body is a nice side effect.

Anyways will keep you updated on any developments I have with the charisma, maybe dieting developments but that’s no as important, I bet there are some other people however, who are in a similar place and want to lose weight too.

Funny how I’m trying to do the two same things I was working on a year ago but this time for two different reasons, that are much healthier to have as my intention

Ciao,

Downward Dog King 6900