Ambiance's Ascension

[Ambiance]

Fall 2018 Goals

Women

- Sleep with 6 new women (2 down)
- Sleep with a girl from class
- Street Approach SDL
- Have 1 girl on rotation ***Completed***
- Have 2 girls on rotation at a time ***Completed***
- Have 3 girls on rotation at a time
- Relationship with a Fascination Girl
- Approach 20 women in one week
- Pipeline/Increase number of women I meet per week
- Remove boyfriendy behaviors
- Level up physical escalation

School

- Finish with a GPA over 3.5 for the semester
- DO NOT let work pileup at any time
- Don't skip class
- Do homework in class?before it's assigned

Finances

- Maintain scholarships
- Make $500 a month
- Make $750 a month
- Get a job ***Completed***
- Get 2 jobs
- Keep spending low

Social

- Join an activity group of any kind
- Join 2 activity groups of any kind
- Start going out once 21 years old

Fundamentals

- Hit the gym at least 3 times per week
- Bench 275 1x8 (I did 255 1x8 last week)
- Maintain/Develop sexy short hairstyle
- Develop Damon Salvatore vibe (Facial expressions, be a dick, fashion)
- Add several desired clothing accessories to wardrobe (use birthday)
- Use refilled teeth whitener
- Wash face several times every day
- Drink ~1 liter of water minimum every day
- Do Tabata core exercises at night

Personal

- Hit 1500 songs in library
- Go through large chunk of artists and albums on list
- Read 3 books from list
- Watch 5 movies from list

 

[Ambiance]

Ok, with that out of the way, here's an update.

Girls

Had Megan over last weekend. We had a lot of fun of course. Wanted to separate our next encounter by over a week so she doesn't get the wrong idea. So I'm gonna text her later today.

Qian I had over again as well, and we had even more fun. She has such a tight perky body. I threw her around and picked her up a lot and she ate up every second of it. Things were a lot more intimate this time around. She was late on her period and I then found out she wasn't on birth control, but I hadn't cum in her so I wasn't as worried as she was.

Two days later she lets me know she got her period, and I tell her we'll have to celebrate with a winky face. She comes over looking real good, and is very happy to see me. However when I start escalating on her she is resistant to doing anything since she is on her period. I turn the passion to eleven and channel my inner bad boy as I ravage her body, eventually getting her pants off. She tells me how bad I am and then attacks my neck leaving two huge hickies. I call her out for what she is doing, before giving her 5 or 6 all over her body. Such a lustful moment. But I just could not get her to take her panties off.

So, a recent Chase article in mind, I kicked her out. I was nice enough about it, telling her that I didn't want to hurt her and it's better she not be around me right now since she turns me on too much and I have stuff to do. Dunno how much the situation warranted it, but I made my choice and I'm sticking to it.

Other than that, girls haven't been my focus lately. Had a tinder date that got rescheduled, then she flaked, but I was cool about it and she's coming over tonight.

I've been using bad boy/smooth abilities A LOT more lately. Trying to make them my default. I've gotten a lot of reactions out of it. Put a lot of girls in auto-rejection, but ramped things up with a bunch more. We'll see if anything comes of it.

Alexis I've talked to a few times, and she wants to fly out to SD to see me. We set it up for a weekend in October. This will be the first time in awhile I've seen her. Not sure what to expect...

Haven't talked to Kristine or Alena, other than after my lab results came back negative for chlamydia and I told them both. Alena was weird about it, Kristine was civil. Haven't talked to Nicole or Riley either. Gonna have to remember to invite them to a party.

School

Not going great so far. I've been really lazy. Have let some things slip through the cracks. I need to get caught up and get my momentum going.

Finances

I have a job as a tutor for the school. It is a good position. Very flexible, convenient, and easy. Being able to do homework as I tutor is a plus. Downside is its only $12/hour.

I have an interview to work at the school's fine dining restaurant. If I get hired, might allow me to get more hours. Could also be a way to get several easy notches.

Health

I have become so strong... I have yet to see anyone in my school's gym put up better numbers than me. My testosterone is bursting as well. However, this mountain of homework I have allowed to pile up hurt my progress this week. I also have not gotten the good sleep I am used to and so desperately need. This HAS TO change going forward, lest I lose what I have worked so hard for.

I also have to figure out how to lose my subcutaneous fat. The fear is that eating less will curtail my strength gains. So as for right now I am doing tabata swimming and core exercises, and trying to cut unhealthy foods.

Gonna wrap it up here- got a lot of homework to finally start on.

 

[Ambiance]

Today is my last day as a 20 year old. Down to the last few hours really... I'm at my tutoring gig right now reminiscing over the past year. What a year it was.

Let's do an update.

Girls

...have not been my focus lately. And I hate it. I've done a little approaching and gotten a few numbers, but have mostly ignored them. I also have put minimal effort into Tinder. Its funny...

Talked to Qian briefly a few days after kicking her out. She was still cold. Annoying- that was supposed to help my situation, not send her into auto-rejection. Have been meaning to ping her one more time, but honestly don't feel like having to deal with it. She had a great body though.

Megan I forgot about for over a week, and then reached out to in kind of a mocking way which she took hard for some reason. Its silly- I went out of my way to keep her expectations low yet she was still very put off when I never responded to her.

So like that, I'm back to square one. How many of you can relate? You go on all these dates, make things happen on some of them, build up a rotation, and the second you stop concentrating on girls it all evaporates.

Alexis and I are still in contact, and we even made plans to fly her out to see me. However, I forgot my mother was in town that weekend, and we are both busy all the other times it would be practical. I also fully realized something: the reason I ran into problems with her over the summer is because I texted her as much as I did last semester. That is no way to run long game... gave her the wrong expectations. This semester I am much more in line.

Speaking of long game, reached out to Kristine, thinking I could ramp up excitement as Thanksgiving Break approaches, but no response. I'll see her one way or another come TG since she works at my country club.

School

Going much better. Got all caught up in each of my subjects, and have started well on the road to making up for missed progress. Connected with 4 of my 5 teachers- makes things much easier when my teachers really like me. All thanks to charisma I learned from this site.

The material itself comes to me so easily... My biggest problem is my pride. When you are as wicked intelligent as I am (yes the irony is intentional, you're constantly pushing the limits of how little you actually have to work. When this becomes unfounded in your abilities, you're in a pickle. What almost always happens is I overestimate myself, get way behind, then pull a miraculous recovery throughout the rest of the semester through sheer genius and will that lands me in the mid A to A- range. The thing is, I could be unrivaled/top of the class with just a little more discipline.

Finances

Am keeping expenses low, and am maximizing my tutoring hours. Ended up not pursuing the restaurant gig I mentioned after seeing the waitstaff and getting more hours in tutoring. I also liquidized several investments I acquired over the summer for a big profit.

I want to make more money though, and I have an idea. I did exceptionally well on the ACT back in high school, and figure parents would kill to have me tutor their kids, especially in this rich part of town I'm in. Definitely something to be capitalized on.

Fundamentals

I'm the strongest I've ever been, benching 255 for reps of 8 and going up in all my other exercises. I was on plateus in many of them, including bench, for awhile, and now I'm finally ascending. My cardio has noticeably improved as well thanks to all the HIIT laps I've done at my pool. To think, my apartments have this excellent pool right in the middle, straight out of a resort, and the majority of students attending my school on daddy's money don't even bother to make use of it... Not I. I appreciate the value to what I provided myself.

My skin is good, but would be better with an improved sleep schedule and more water. These two things I've fallen back on as of late.

I grew the longest beard of my life, and just shaved it today. Was surprised how good it looked. But I like clean-shaven or stubble too.

My mannerisms have doubled, mostly thanks to studying Damon Salvatore. There was so much I could have been doing all this time...

Gonna wrap it up here. Tutoring just ended, and by the tone of this post you can tell I'm in a tired, basal state.

 

[Ambiance]

This hasn't been my most productive semester, and the amount of investment I've put into this journal over the past 2 months correlates with that fact. There have been some things I've done pretty well, and there have been things I've totally slacked on.

Fundamentals
I am the strongest I have ever been. I also am about the same body fat percent I was a year ago. I'm in very good shape, no one denies that, but it irks me that I haven't accomplished what I have time and again set out to do, which is completely get rid of my love handles and belly fat. The small fixes I've made haven't been enough.

Other than that nothing new to report.

School
I hate school. A growing part of me wishes I never went to college, and just gotten some job out of high school/gone entrepreneurial. Attending USD has cost me so much. Will it be worth it?

This semester has been harder than the previous one, despite only taking five classes as opposed to six. Go figure. Last semester I could get by with much less.

Next semester I am excited for. I have a plan that I think will make my life much much easier. I just have to get through this semester without hurting my GPA too much. I basically have two Cs and three high Bs at the moment.

Finances
Tutoring is still going well. Getting my hours in. I pushed the rules by wearing headphones during it and got caught twice- this was foolish and I won't toe the line any more. Never would have gotten caught if I knew it was such a big deal to them, but that's besides the point. I am fortunate there were no repercussions. I need that income stream, and the convenience can't be beat.

My dad had mentioned he'd be willing to help me pay this semester, but it wasn't concrete and he backed out of it before the semester began, promising that next semester he will help. To which I was ok with; I didn't want his help if I could do it on my own. I don't trust him and hate depending on him. However, he promised he would help next semester. I likely will need help, much as I hate to admit it, but now it looks like he is looking for an excuse to back out of that. Kinda slimy. And he could easily afford it, at least based off what he has bragged to me. I've lost so much respect for him. I hate writing that but it's true. Not just because of this, but for how he handles women and his work ethic and excuses. You can't count on someone just because they are family.

Girls
Had Megan over last Friday, and many an orgasm was had. She's been extra affectionate this week.
Qian I threw a parting shot after reaching out, and she followed up on it but I was busy. Dunno if I will see her again.
Have set up other dates using Tinder, but no real success. Either flakes or the girl isn't attractive enough.
Approaching I've done a little of, but again, half measures.
Haven't gone out to a bar since my dad left town. Just been overwhelmed...

...

This felt like a venting post. As a side note my grandad is not doing too well. It seems like he doesn't care to live anymore. He is very nonchalant about his medication and doesn't try to exercise or stay healthy or do anything to develop. It has been like this the past five years or so, only now he won't even respond to my grandma's nagging. He is somewhat of a religious zealot, and keeps going on about how a certain bible verse says the day you die is the happiest day of your life. Not cool.

This is... unbefitting of someone who shares my genes. One thing I like about my dad is at least he aspires to constant development and living as long as possible, even if he doesn't follow through with it in all areas. My grandad is just apathetic. I still love him of course. I guess it is his decision. It's just not one I want any part of. Not sure how much longer I'll have with him.

All in all, I've been in a rut since October. School has been overwhelming, and I've let (somewhat valid) excuses like being on a tight budget and not having a car get in the way of going after my goals. I don't know what to do! Do I accept that I need more money, and focus on nothing but finances and school until I can afford to go out 3 nights a week? Do I day game around my school? I don't want to have to uber everytime I want to day game, that adds up fast. Do I play my dad and get him to pay for everything, and throw up a facade that appeals to his strict conditions, something most college students do but that I have always looked down on? Doing so would sever much of what remains of our connection. I would be wearing a mask around him. And at the same time I am valuing that connection less and less.

Honestly, if it weren't for my emotions I would make for a damn good sociopath. Hahaha... if only I could just use people and not have my need to connect and bond get in the way. Walter White for those of you who watched Breaking Bad fell victim to this. While Jesse was trying to destroy him (for good reason) Walt did little and didn't try to neutralize the very real threat Jesse posed. All out of care for his former student. Desire for his well being. Eventually Walt does decide to kill Jesse, but by that point it is too late. And in the end, Walt sacrifices (what little remains of) his life for Jesse by tackling him and subsequently taking a bullet. Yes, this is a work of fiction, but the lesson applies, which is this:

Have your desires aligned.

Walt's desire for what his meth empire gave him (which is a deep topic worthy of its own post) directly competed with his other desires for love from his family and a bond with his former student. This lead Walt to make many stupid, stupid decisions that a Gus Fring never would have made.

Where I tie this in to my current predicament is that I also am plagued by competing desires. My favorite song proclaims mankind as "Good and Evil combined" and I couldn't agree more. If I were more one than the other things would be so much easier... I could either just love people unconditionally and enjoy them for what they are, or I could have no qualms about just using people and not have to deal with caring for them and wanting to be close to them.

Instead I am stuck in the middle, in "half-measure land". My desires are not aligned. I'd love to make life easier on myself by being more selfish and less vulnerable, and to get revenge on a small list of people who caused me a great deal of frustration. But this would mean giving up so much. I don't think I can even take the plunge. Just pretend at it. On the flipside, I care so much, and love so much. Or at least am capable of it. I've been guarded most of my life, for what I would say is good reason. Do I let go of my need for machiavellian justice, even if it means getting hurt more? I don't think so. Caught in the middle.

Anyone do that morality test Chase did an article on recently? I did, and to no surprise I scored right dead in the middle, not for lack of convictions. More like being torn apart by equally powerful convictions. At the very least I am a ways more chaotic than orderly/lawful. Not enough to be chaotic neutral though.

I WILL make this middle ground work, one way or the other. If that means I need to become very selfish for a few years, until I am in a position of financial strength... it's looking more that way. Think Chase had an article about being self-centered as a young man and pushing boundaries, then coming back to the light later in life. The Good King maybe? Gonna have to try to find it.

Gonna wrap up here.

 

[Ambiance]

About time I got around to another entry. Much has happened the past month!

For starters, Destiny https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=19652.

This girl has rocked my socks off. I don't know where to even begin. Our chemistry is through the roof. She is very sharp- I rarely have to explain anything to her. She's young but very mature for her age, something I strongly relate to. She's independent without being guarded, she's witty, she's got spunk to keep me on my toes, and she uses my own tricks against me in bed. Can we appreciate that last point real quick? How awesome is that?!? She picks up on things I do sooo smoothly, a total quick study.

She's also very much my type. Short with luscious brown hair, natural boobs way bigger than a girl her height deserves, and a tight waist with a real perky ass. Not to mention her face, which I'll get to.

And she's completely, head-over-heels in love with me.

Our campuses are 20 minutes away and neither of us have a car, but that doesn't stop her from either ubering or taking the bus for an hour to come see me several times a week. And she wouldn't even want me to mention it! She brings me snacks in excess, cleans my place without prompting, gobbles my cum down with a big, silly smile on her face, and routinely sends me "coupley" pics and tweets and stuff. She's told her parents all about me, listens to artists I've shown her, and gives me pecks all over while telling me how utterly sexy I am. All she wants to do is be with me and kiss me and have me hold her.

And yet somehow she still challenges me.

One thing I've neglected to mention is how much she reminds me of that one special girl from high school, Megan. She's not her true doppelganger the way Riley from earlier this semester is, but from certain angles, particularly in bed, her face is identical. And her spirit is the same. She has so many mannerisms that are TOTALLY Megan. For instance, she'll get this "drunk on excitement and mischief" look on her face and then try to tickle me, and we'll both get giddy as I overpower her and tickle her back. I'll then relent, then she'll get that look on her face and try her luck again! (I'm usually inside her after this) The way her eyes peer into my soul, or this faux-pouty thing she does, also screams of Megan.

So, after 4 very long years, it's safe to say I finally, truly replaced the one who started it all.

It's strange being on the other side. I heard Last Christmas the other day, and for once these lyrics rang true:

Now I've found a real love
You'll never fool me again

The feeling is not what I sometimes imagined it to be, of ultimate triumph. I'm too wise for that now. It's a feeling of satisfaction, of contentedness. And also of apprehension. Though instead of being a fear of losing her, as I felt with Megan, it is fear of hurting her, of leading her down a path I can't stay on for too long. It's a feeling of responsibility.

Other Girls

Had Megan (SD Megan, not the one mentioned above) over out of obligation about a week ago, but wasn't feeling it and decided to friend-zone her. Told her I was crazy about someone else and just couldn't right now. She understandably did not take it well hahaha...

Qian I have been in touch with but haven't seen since before TG break. Blackdragon would throw a fit lmao

Kristine I saw while grabbing dinner with my family at the country club. She saw me first and froze up, and I smiled at her and gave her a big hug. I then texted her while eating to meet me in the upstairs bathroom where we hooked up. All while my dad was eating downstairs, oblivious (my brother and sister figured out what happened right away hahaha...). I then didn't see Kristine again that trip, but we had some intense sexting, especially after I got back to SD. I have come so far from where I was last summer... I understand how she works and what to expect from her.

Alexis I pinged right before I met Destiny and she told me she couldn't do this anymore, to which I cheerfully responded "thanks for letting me know, wish you best of luck, and know my door is always open" LOL. As you might expect, she cold texted me a few weeks later, but I was too busy with Destiny.

i have what could be a date if I want it to be one this Friday. The girl is pretty cute and we had a lot in common when I met her. Which brings me to my next thought.

Things with Destiny are going so well, but I know I need to keep my options open. Does this mean I keep sleeping with other girls? In the past, this was a no-brainer, because I was dedicated to seduction above all. But lately, I've wanted to put learning seduction to the side, until I can give it my full effort. I've wanted to have a real girlfriend. What further compounds the issue is I'll be in Colorado for winter break for 5 weeks. Hahahaha... if I end up just texting her throughout break it really will be Megan all over again.

Grades
...Are ok. Don't think they are bad enough to derail my scholarship, which is all that matters. Can't wait to put this semester behind me though. It has been a bitter disappointment. Last semester I killed it, with what should have been a harder workload, but this semester has been frustratingly painful. At least I will have gotten rid of the final goddamned cores I need to graduate, and can look forward to business classes.

Fundamentals
Lifting has been for maintenance lately, with wrapping up the school year and spending lots of time with Destiny. On the plus side, I've been using lotion on my face to good results.

Finances
About the same they were. I'm tutoring like before, though not getting the maximum hours thanks to one of my students constantly skipping, despite having an F in his course and NEEDING to pass in order to graduate on time and "have a shot at the NBA". He has no shot if he can't handle little details like this. And most importantly, I miss out on $24 a week! (The horror, amiright? Lol. It does add up though)

Unless I take out bigger loans than I want to, I don't think it's wise to stay in SD over the summer. This means getting to see my siblings and best friend and live it up at the country club. And if Destiny and I are going strong, or even some other special girl, I could fly her out and vice versa. This goes hand in hand with easing off the accelerator when it comes to seduction. Once my finances are in a good place though...

That's all for today.

 

[Hue]

This girl has rocked my socks off. I don't know where to even begin. Our chemistry is through the roof. She is very sharp- I rarely have to explain anything to her. She's young but very mature for her age, something I strongly relate to. She's independent without being guarded, she's witty, she's got spunk to keep me on my toes, and she uses my own tricks against me in bed. Can we appreciate that last point real quick? How awesome is that?!? She picks up on things I do sooo smoothly, a total quick study.

The feeling is not what I sometimes imagined it to be, of ultimate triumph. I'm too wise for that now. It's a feeling of satisfaction, of contentedness. And also of apprehension. Though instead of being a fear of losing her, as I felt with Megan, it is fear of hurting her, of leading her down a path I can't stay on for too long. It's a feeling of responsibility.

Very happy for you man. Great to hear.

Reading this makes me want to reevalute my future schedules to grind out my seduction career and reassess some goals to optimize production and self improvement. Thanks for the inspiration brother.

 

[Ambiance]

Very happy for you man. Great to hear.

Reading this makes me want to reevalute my future schedules to grind out my seduction career and reassess some goals to optimize production and self improvement. Thanks for the inspiration brother.

You're the one who is the inspiration man. I hope to get to where you seem to be at right now, putting in good work and consistently sleeping with multiple new women each month. But thank you for your kind words.

With the holidays rolling around, should be a great time for us both to reevaluate. I for one need to plan out more past the 6 month mark.

Cheers brother!

 

[Ambiance]

Gonna finally go over my fall goals, as well as a brief update.

Fall 2018 Goals

Women

- Sleep with 6 new women- Only hit three
- Sleep with a girl from class- ARGHHH. I fucking hate my inability to accomplish this for once.
- Street Approach SDL- Failed
- Have 1 girl on rotation ***Completed***
- Have 2 girls on rotation at a time ***Completed***
- Have 3 girls on rotation at a time- Failed
- Relationship with a Fascination Girl- ***Completed***
- Approach 20 women in one week- Failed
- Pipeline/Increase number of women I meet per week- Failed
- Remove boyfriendy behaviors- ***Completed***
- Level up physical escalation- ***Completed***

School

- Finish with a GPA over 3.5 for the semester- Super fail. My grades were garbage this semester.
- DO NOT let work pileup at any time- Another fail.
- Don't skip class- Faillllll
- Do homework in class?before it's assigned- I'm an idiot for not doing this more often

Finances

- Maintain scholarships- we'll see
- Make $500 a month- ***Completed***
- Make $750 a month- Failed
- Get a job ***Completed***
- Get 2 jobs- Failed
- Keep spending low- ***Completed***

Social

- Join an activity group of any kind- nope
- Join 2 activity groups of any kind- nope
- Start going out once 21 years old- nope

Fundamentals

- Hit the gym at least 3 times per week- ***Completed***
- Bench 275 1x8 (I did 255 1x8 last week)- Failed
- Maintain/Develop sexy short hairstyle- Failed, though I have one now
- Develop Damon Salvatore vibe (Facial expressions, be a dick, fashion)- ***Completed***
- Add several desired clothing accessories to wardrobe (use birthday)- Kinda...
- Use refilled teeth whitener- Nope
- Wash face several times every day- nope
- Drink ~1 liter of water minimum every day- close enough
- Do Tabata core exercises at night- failed, but started doing intense ab workout at gym

Personal

- Hit 1500 songs in library- added about 350, 100 or so short. Not bad, but should have been way more productive
- Go through large chunk of artists and albums on list- made progress. Past week alone have found about 100 worthy additions to my library, as well as came back to and thoroughly enjoyed some other artists
- Read 3 books from list- failed
- Watch 5 movies from list- ***Completed***

I guess I needed a break this semester? There were some things I did well, but overall this semester was far below my capabilities. I did not use my time well at all.

The last bit of it was a blast though. All that time spent with Destiny... at least in the end, I was a champion.

It's been hard being away from her. Facetime is so unfulfilling. I've thrown myself into my music and hanging with friends and family, and begin working for my dad for the remainder of my break tomorrow. I hate working for him, but I need the money, and his favor. All so I can go back to that school I worked so hard to hold on to, and then didn't make the most of two semesters in a row.

In many ways it is high school all over again. Waiting for it to be over, so I can finally be free... what comes next though? I enjoy way more freedom than I did in high school at least, but it isn't enough.

School starts at the end of January. I could go back early, but this might not be prudent. I'm on such a tight budget as it is... at home I have food and other expenses paid for. And working for my dad will be lucrative. It sucks being stuck at home though. At college, I finally have a girl who is good enough for me to invest in. I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind that this 6 week break might damage things with her. She's crazy about me, but then we facetime and it just feels different. If things were to not workout I know I'd be okay. What irks me is that my life right now is still not conducive to either having a great relationship entirely on my terms, or going balls out on seduction. One or the other would be enough for me, at least right now.

I need to play around with my finances; see exactly where I stand and what I can afford to do. Not feeling in control is killing me.

Alright, gonna go lift with my friend.

 

[Ambiance]

Today is my first day back in school. Spring 2019 may be my most important semester yet... even more so than the one I had to get my scholarship back. But more on that in a minute. First, an update on how break turned out, and events since my return to San Diego.

I worked for my dad for two weeks. The cash, once I get it, will be very nice. But it wasn't very productive for either myself or my dad. He left for a 6 day trip to visit his long distance girlfriend during the first week. When I went to pick him up from the airport the next week, he was an emotional wreck. His girlfriend had dumped him. That week we didn't work together at all due to how upset he was. To make matters worse, one of his employees had broken her hip, another had quit, and before that he had fired a different employee, leaving me alone in the office.

Beyond that, break was good. I added to my music collection, did some reading, including George RR Martin's A Feast for Crows, and worked out at my club. My best friend and I finished season three of Fargo, which was excellent. And I ate like a king.

The only bad thing about break was missing Destiny (there are worse things than sitting around in an office). We texted everyday, and facetimed here and there, but the break started to take its toll. It got to the point where I started having nightmares about the past repeating itself with her. Of losing her the same way I had lost girls like her before. That last week in CO tested my frame more than anything. All this time I was watching how miserable my dad was. I did my best to show him the light, but the pessimism started to rub off on me and erode my once almighty confidence.

And then something clicked. I remembered my obligation as a man: I must be strong. So I fought off any fears I felt, and kept myself busy. When I returned to San Diego, I resolved to shower Destiny with love, since I knew how much she had missed me. I kept my cool, and didn't let things like her being 40 minutes late break my frame (later found out she was only late because I wanted her to bring her swimsuit and she doubled back to get it).

I snuck behind her on her walk to my apartment and surprise-picked her up and spun her around with a big smile. She got teary eyed and gave me a huge, long hug. If my insecurities hadn't been destroyed before they were gone now. In command once again, I whisked her back to my place where we had crazy sex. We then watched a show, have more sex, get food, and then drank. She's a total lightweight, and can get feisty, but I find it adorable After getting a little tipsy, we hit the hot tub and swam, then back to my place for some super intense sex on the bathroom floor. She's crying throughout it. I'm consoling her as I thrust in her, and she really starts crying and tells me there's something she wants to tell me but she's so scared to. I already know what it it, but I lovingly coax it out of her.

Finally she tells me she loves me.

I evoke Han Solo, telling her I know, and furiously kiss her and stab into her. She cries harder. I tell her how much I care about her. She keeps telling me how much she loves me.

And then I tell her I love her too.

She can't believe it. And in this moment, more than ever before, I finally know just how much I've put her through. How scary it was for her to date me, to fall for me, when I had been so careful to never promise her anything. When I had left her for 5 weeks, and been real with what might happen.

Our love-making reaches a crescendo. And to top it all off, to crown this already glorious moment, I tell her that since we love each other, we should be together. Again she can't believe it. Clarifying, I tell her I'm making it official, and that she can tell people that she is my girlfriend.

The rest of the night is very intimate. We fall asleep in each other's arms. Early the next morning with the remainder of the alcohol out of our system I confirm we're still boyfriend and girlfriend. We have more sex over the next few hours before grabbing food and hitting a museum. Before she leaves that night she tells me how scared she was coming over and leading up to our reunion, and how happy and lucky she is.

I got the girl

After she left I was in an interesting mood. I haven't been exclusive since high school. Not only that, but I wouldn't have guessed my next girlfriend would be someone I'd actually fall in love with. That felt far off in the future not too long ago. But I do love her. I'm also in control of it.

She spent the night later that week, and we had the definitive best sex of our lives. I was so exhausted afterward... We fell asleep around 2, and spent the next morning and noon together. She came over again the next day, and spent the night again. We had two pool days and more sex despite promising each other we'd stop due to how sore we were. A very special week.

The only problem we had was the second time she spent the night. I could tell something was bugging her, so I did as Chase would and got it out of her. She was worried that I wanted sex too often, and that she might not be able to provide. I held my frame that sex was a necessity, then framed how much sex we have as something I do for her and how her perception of me as her sex god is great for our relationship (all sooo true). She was all over me after that, as I mentioned before, even telling me as I ravaged her that she'll never not want sex from me Communication like this is so key, and I'm very glad to have learned the hows and whys early through this site.

This is turning into a long post, so I'll wrap up with talking about how important this semester is, before doing Spring goals in a new post. I made a deal with my dad that if I get a 3.5 overall, he will pay for every A. So if I get straight As, I go to school for free. This would be so huge for me... money is running tight, and I don't want to take out excessive loans. I'm also taking 6 classes this semester, and won't have as much time to work as before. Doing well scholastically is paramount, not just to make things easier but to survive.

All in all, it never ends. I may have the girl, but that just means the game changes. I need to start this semester strong. And I want to continue progress in other endeavors including working out, reading, and music. I could also stand to make some better friends in SD.

Here's to the best semester of my life.

(P.S. Cro-Magnon Man!!! Very cool. I've dreamed of this day since my first LR.)

 

[Ambiance]

SPRING 2019 GOALS

Scholastic

- 3.5 overall
- 3.75 overall
- Straight As
- Physical calendar with all assignments and dates listed out
- Do assignments when they're first available
- Never fall behind in any class
- Never skip class without good reason
- Go to office hours every week
- Get involved with business societies

Financial

- Maximize tutoring hours
- Do financial plans for my dad
- Another source of revenue
- Keep spending low
- Secure summer internship
- Get a car
- Secure living arrangements for summer
- Get out of lease/sublease if necessary

Relational

- See Destiny few times each week
- Do something romantic with her unexpectedly several times
- Make three new good friends
- Have a best friend in San Diego
- Visit my best friend from back home/host him

Personal

- Workout 4x a week
- Swim/Tan 3x a week
- Bench 275 3x8/350 once
- Abs
- 1500 songs
- 1750 songs
- 2000 songs
- 3 books from list
- 3 movies from list
- Keep hair short and sexy
- Whiten teeth more
- Drink lots of water each day
- Take care of skin

 

[Ken]

Congrats on your Cro-Magnon Man ranking, Ambiance. You deserve it. I remember when you first joined this site, and I've been seeing all the hard work that you've been putting in to your relationships and your seduction skills. I'm happy that you found love, real love. Today was also my first day back in school (and my 23rd birthday). And I also have similar goals for the semester, specifically having a calendar with all my assignments and dates listed out (albeit I'm using my phone for this task). In addition, I also plan to do them when they are first available so that I do better quality work and avoid rushing to do it at the last moment, and I will do my best to avoid falling behind in class. And I already drink lots of water everyday

So, hope you succeed in all your goals and I wish you nothing but the best.

-Ken

 

[Ambiance]

Thanks a bunch Ken, you are too kind. It's been one hell of a journey. Seems like you and I have a lot of similarities. Its so easy to push off homework, until its not haha. Here's to us both evading a ton of stress this semester and getting shit done early.

Happy 23rd! Hope it was a memorable one I'd encourage you to start a journal of your own. They're super rewarding, and I could follow your progress too.

 

[Ken]

Thanks a bunch Ken, you are too kind. It's been one hell of a journey. Seems like you and I have a lot of similarities. Its so easy to push off homework, until its not haha. Here's to us both evading a ton of stress this semester and getting shit done early.

Happy 23rd! Hope it was a memorable one I'd encourage you to start a journal of your own. They're super rewarding, and I could follow your progress too.

Thanks man. My 23rd birthday was like any other day, mostly because it was on a Monday. I only told two of my friends in college on that day that it was my birthday, and they were both like it's another day closer to day. Haha.

Oh, I have a journal. Two in fact, one was made before you joined the site and has only one post. I started the other late last year: https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=19357. I have been struggling with it in terms of what to put on there, since I haven't cold approached yet in 2019. Should I talk about my parents and background? What else should I put in there?

 

[Ambiance]

Ken-

Shot you a reply on your journal

 

[Seppuku]

Ambiance,

I just noticed you passed to Cro Magnon status, congratulations on that! It was overdue in my opinion, you did demonstrate consistency in your ability to get women for a while now.

Up to the next step now!

Seppuku

 

[Ambiance]

@Seppuku

Thank you! It's been one hell of a journey, especially over the last year and a half. I greatly appreciate the interest you've taken in me. There's much I've learned from you, and your advice has played a crucial role in my development, notably back in late 2017 on one of the most important FRs I've had.

I hope your year is off to a great start, particularly with your lifestyle blog. I try to check it out from time to time. Also cool tracking your progress in the weight room. I've had tons of success in the gym so if you ever want to talk lifting don't hesitate to reach out.

Thanks again!

 

[Ambiance]

Four years ago was my second lay. Reread my old LR. God, how much has happened since that night, which I still remember vividly. I'm almost overcome with emotion, remembering how I used to be and the things I used to fear and desire. I thought I was such a stud back then, yet that young man can't hold a candle to me now. I am very proud of him for what he did to become me. And I relish the emotion I once felt, of pulling off something that prior seemed so alien yet fulfilled me more than just about anything.

...

Anyway, a quick update.

Scholastics
These are in a good place, especially compared to where I was at start of last semester. I am fairly on top of all my courses, and haven't missed any class. I am participating much more, and getting stuff done when it is assigned. I am much more organized. And stuff that stresses me out I pick up on very quickly once I actually try. It's amazing I sometimes forget how smart I am. 999 times out of 1000 me struggling with material is because I haven't put in effort.

I'm not fully organized, and am behind on reading, so need to address that quickly lest it start to build up. This includes filling my newly purchased calendar out. I must also start going to office hours to get on teachers' good sides.

Financial
I've worked the least on this category. The idea is to focus on it once school is in tip-top shape.

Relational
Things are great with Destiny. She sleeps over twice a week, and we spend a good amount of time together the following days. The sex is magnificent. I drive her absolutely wild, and I get super into it as well. We probably average eight 10-60 minute sessions a week. She wants to have my babies. I met her parents and they like me a lot, in part thanks to reading Chase's article for such occasions.

Seeing her tomorrow for Vday. I got some rose petals and lights (which I've been meaning to get anyway) to make it special and show her I care without overdoing it. Might get chocolate (which I'll likely eat xP) and write her something cute too.

My best friend is coming in from AZ this weekend. Should be a blast. Beyond him, I'm not close with any guys my age. Making friends has never been hard for me, but keeping them around has. Which removes the incentive to make them in the first place. Quite the spiral. This is another area I have neglected this semester. Honestly I should make a post about my issues with securing friendships.

Personal
Working out is going well, and I've elevated my numbers a bit, but also have missed a few times. Not today though: woke up early and had a fantastic session before class. Need to do this every Wednesday; it's too fulfilling to miss out on.

Swimming is good considering the bad weather lately. I do laps every time Des and I hit the pool, and also whenever my schedule allows.

Once again, my music library is exploding. Obsessed with this melodic death metal band at the moment. About to hit 1500 songs, which is one of my goals.

My facial skin is healthy as well, in part to my usage of a cool water bottle Des got me last Xmas. I've played around with my facial hair, which Des loooves. Get lots of looks around campus, especially since I have fashion down.

...

It's very different being off the market. I love my girl, and it's nice to not have the pressure of chasing tail. Stepping away has given me much perspective. This includes an obligation to enjoy the benefits of singledom far more whenever I'm next single. So many opportunities I didn't pursue, and now can't. It still is good I am with Destiny. Already this relationship has given us both so much value.

That's all for tonight.

 

[Ambiance]

Time for an update.

Past month has been absolutely stellar, to the point where I was asking myself earlier today if this is the happiest I have ever been. And then an hour ago, I got some very irritating news that just kinda killed it.

Academic
5 of my 6 classes are in a good to very good place. My strategies for this semester are working, and had I implemented them the first week I'd probably have straight As. Nonetheless, this will be a much better semester than last fall.

It is almost laughable why my sixth class isn't great right now. I overheard a conversation about the midterm being on a Thursday, which made sense as it was the last day before spring break, when really it was on Tuesday. So I spend all my time studying for other midterms, then am very surprised showing up to class that Tuesday. To make matters worse, it is one of those classes where you absolutely need a cheat sheet to do well, and I hadn't prepared mine. So I got a 60 However, whatever you get on the final replaces your lowest midterm, so there is hope. Still, was very mad at myself for being so careless.

Financial
Due to lack of demand the guy in charge of tutoring is cutting back on hours big time. Ugh. So I might need to either quit and find a new job, or start doing some stuff on the side.

Having a girlfriend has also increased by spending a bit. God, I hate being tight. Really need to figure out making more money, and fast.

Relational
God, I was so excited to type this part, and now all that excitement is just tainted. I'll type the good stuff and then get to the thing that put a damper on everything.

Destiny and I have had a wonderful, magical month of intimacy and laughs and more frequent sex than probably anyone on this board can boast. I'm dead serious about the last thing. We had sex 10 times in one weekend. That was following having sex six or seven times just a few days before. This is despite how sore she and I get. And these aren't sprints to the finish either. The shortest we'll go for is 8-10 minutes, and we probably average around the 20 minute mark. I figured out how to make her cum like crazy, which is worthy of its own post. I've turned her into a ravenous animal, and she thinks I am the sexiest man alive and has insisted that she will marry me and have my babies someday. Which would be very scary if I wasn't in love with her.

A day ago I would have told you that she was just about perfect for me. That while I knew I wasn’t going to marry her, that she was the most important girl of my life thus far, and would be for a long time.

The bad news is she just got her third tattoo after her brainless low-class family persuaded her to. When I let myself fall for her she had two, which was one too many. But other than that and a few yellow flags, she was exactly what I was looking for. She was my dream girl! No red flags, no orange flags. I rationalized that she only had two tattoos, and that one of them was very meaningful as it commemorated her dead brother.

And now I am furious, both at myself and at the fact that a little bit of that fucking perfect intimacy we had been sharing is now gone in my mind. However long we last, I am never dating a girl with tattoos again. I will also take her family's values into MUCH higher consideration. The only reason she got it was to conform to those cunts.

I haven’t been this affected since back in high school when the girl I was infatuated with started heavily flirting with some other guy in front of me. I can't be in love with a tatted girl! This ridiculous tattoo has smothered the burning love I had for her, and reminded me how fucking alone I am.

Love, love is the only truth
Pure as the well of youth
Until it breaks your heart
You took me higher
Than the mountains I have climbed
You, you waited all your life for me
You left me all alone behind
But we'll meet again
We will meet again
All alone
Stuck without you

…

Beyond that, have gotten closer with my best friend from back home over our mutual love of music. He and I get each other like none other. I've also been a little more social.

Personal
I've added a bunch of super quality songs and albums to my library. I now have a huge variety of top tier music to choose from. To top it all off, last night I relistened to what I previously thought was an ok album by my favorite band, and had my socks blown off. I haven't listened to something so obsessively since last summer. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world. I'm actually listening to it as I type this

Working out is going pretty well. I have missed some workouts but am close to the strongest I have ever been.

Got a short and sexy haircut couple weeks back. Destiny loves it. So do lots of girls around campus it seems. What is is about being in a relationship that makes girls way more forward and open with you?

So, after weeks of Cloud 9, my life has once again become uncertain. I don't even want to talk about the problems back at home involving my mother and my siblings.

Afterward
I love Destiny sooo much. It kills me, rips me apart, that she can never be the mother of my children. Which I guess I already knew. I just really, really wanted her to prove me wrong. And she came so close.

 

[Ambiance]

Time for an update.

Academic
4 of my now 5 classes are in a good place. The fifth is just ok. I am not behind in any of my classes, and am far ahead in some of them.

Had to drop my sixth class after bombing on the second midterm. This means I'll have to take it again in a semester of two. Very annoying, but I made my bed and now I must sleep in it.

This semester has seen my attention divided between many things. Overall, I am doing great, but school does not have the level of priority someone more mature would give it. I keep putting off when I will become 100% serious and give school a full-measure effort. What I'm missing now is paying full attention in class. It is not enough just to show, smart as I am.

Financial
Working to secure a summer job and get out of paying my lease once it is summer. I need to focus on both of these more though, surprise surprise.

Decided I will get a motorcycle at some point in my twenties, and will use it in the summer. I have just the personality for it... can't see myself without one at this point.

I will also be getting a dog once out of college, irregardless of expenses. The right type of dog gives me such happiness, and the companionship, responsibility, and dominance factor will do me a lot of good. I also would like any future children I have to grow up with a dog or two, having longed for one all of my childhood.

Relational
Things are good between my girl and I. She loves me so much. In my arrogance I once thought people didn't have as high a capacity for love as I do, but her love rivals and dare I say surpasses my own?

We did have a hiccup last weekend however. She's in a sorority but always spends her weekends with me, and has thus missed a lot. She also has had trouble making friends outside of greek life, which has been hard on her. Her solution to her loneliness was to start going out with girls in her sorority. I put my foot down and said I don't date girls who have girls' nights out. She freaked out and started crying, thinking I was going to dump her. I ended up compromising, which I still don't know how I feel about. I told her I wouldn't object to her going out a few times and experiencing what its like, but if she keeps going down that path I can't follow.

What I'm doing is gambling that she will get bored, satiated, or frustrated with the experience. What I'm not doing, but maybe should be doing, is using her huge fear of losing me against her. I could have easily made her pick between me or going out, but I didn't want any resentment to build up over time (even though she doesn't need her sorority to make friends).

I know now that I'm not girlfriending a sorority girl again though. MLTR? Sure. But I don't want to deal with it. Guess I've earned it after all these years. Abundance is a liberating feeling. Which brings me to my next topic.

I reread an old FR from before I lost my virginity that i never posted yesterday. In it, I had gone out twice with a girl I thought was way out of my league. Knowing what I know now, the combination of horrible logistics combined with moving slow sunk my ship with her. What I didn't know until yesterday was how mamy chances this girl I thought walked on water gave me. I made faux pas after faux pas, not to mention not being nearly as hot back then, and still this girl hung around and clearly wanted something to happen between us. All because I had the balls to approach her to begin with.

Which means I've always been a king, and I just didn't know it.

To realize this, to TRULY realize it... I know I'm a stud now, but if Ambiance from back then had a shot with a girl that hot, then just imagine what I can do now.

Girls don't scare me like they did even half a year ago.

...

Much as I would like to end this section on that note, there is one more thing I must bring up. Last weekend, I broke one of my hard rules and now am paying the price. My good friend was paying someone to do an essay for him, and I told him I'd do it instead. He knows I am smart so he was thrilled. In my cockiness, I didn't verify whether I was actually up to the challenge or not, and so I took on the project. Well, tried to start it tonight and found it impossible. It's due tomorrow, and my friend had already made plans all of tomorrow, but there was no way I was doing that paper. So he got screwed over, and its all because I was so cocky I accepted something I couldn't do, and I didn't do it until the deadline.

This guy thought the world of me before, and while I didn't think quite the same, he was always very cool with me. And this is how I rewarded him. While I know I probably just lost a pretty good source of value and friendship, I am not as perturbed at myself as I should be. Annoyed is the accurate description.

I wrote a few entries back that I was done taking half-measures, and that I am not afraid to be the bad guy anymore (at least while I'm young). This is based on Chase's convincing The Civilized Man article. I was definitely the bad guy tonight. I feel sociopathic right now. Tonight was, in a way, all according to plan. I wanted to be the guy who takes and doesn't give back.

A reminder tonight has given me is that I need to be around people I wouldn't feel as apathetic about wounding like this. I need to be around people I respect as I respect myself. This has always been very difficult for me, which I've touched on in previous entries. Maybe I should make a post about how to not look down on people when striving for true greatness and they're not.

Personal
The real winner of the last month has been my music library. Have gotten into so many great and diverse bands. It has received the bulk of my free time following time spent with my girl. Restructured my genres to get more technical. Also have a perfect new rating system which helps me keep track of masses of songs I keep downloading.

Gym has been going real well. Was stuck on a plateau with bench, but adding another set to my workout saw instant results. All of my other lifts are exactly where I want them. It's a cool feeling.

My girl got me some new shoes, which looks great. I've also been wearing chubbies (shorts that show a lot of leg) more, which girls actually love! My girl gets very turned on when I wear them around her, and I get many AIs in public. Have had those for years yet was missing out.

My friend in AZ and I have gotten even closer over our passion for music. I am finally at the level where I can consistently introduce him to stuff he both hasn't already heard and actually enjoys. About time I started to pay him back for all the wonderful stuff he has shown me. I need more friends like this guy! It is easy for me to go out of my way for him.

Alright, calling it here.

 

[Ambiance]

Alright, it's been long enough.

Academic
4 of my now 5 classes are in a good place. The fifth is just ok. I am not behind in any of my classes, and am far ahead in some of them.

Had to drop my sixth class after bombing on the second midterm. This means I'll have to take it again in a semester of two. Very annoying, but I made my bed and now I must sleep in it.

This semester has seen my attention divided between many things. Overall, I am doing great, but school does not have the level of priority someone more mature would give it. I keep putting off when I will become 100% serious and give school a full-measure effort. What I'm missing now is paying full attention in class. It is not enough just to show, smart as I am.

Financial
Working to secure a summer job and get out of paying my lease once it is summer. I need to focus on both of these more though, surprise surprise.

Decided I will get a motorcycle at some point in my twenties, and will use it in the summer. I have just the personality for it... can't see myself without one at this point.

I will also be getting a dog once out of college, irregardless of expenses. The right type of dog gives me such happiness, and the companionship, responsibility, and dominance factor will do me a lot of good. I also would like any future children I have to grow up with a dog or two, having longed for one all of my childhood.

Relational
Things are good between my girl and I. She loves me so much. In my arrogance I once thought people didn't have as high a capacity for love as I do, but her love rivals and dare I say surpasses my own?

We did have a hiccup last weekend however. She's in a sorority but always spends her weekends with me, and has thus missed a lot. She also has had trouble making friends outside of greek life, which has been hard on her. Her solution to her loneliness was to start going out with girls in her sorority. I put my foot down and said I don't date girls who have girls' nights out. She freaked out and started crying, thinking I was going to dump her. I ended up compromising, which I still don't know how I feel about. I told her I wouldn't object to her going out a few times and experiencing what its like, but if she keeps going down that path I can't follow.

What I'm doing is gambling that she will get bored, satiated, or frustrated with the experience. What I'm not doing, but maybe should be doing, is using her huge fear of losing me against her. I could have easily made her pick between me or going out, but I didn't want any resentment to build up over time (even though she doesn't need her sorority to make friends).

I know now that I'm not girlfriending a sorority girl again though. MLTR? Sure. But I don't want to deal with it. Guess I've earned it after all these years. Abundance is a liberating feeling. Which brings me to my next topic.

I reread an old FR from before I lost my virginity that i never posted yesterday. In it, I had gone out twice with a girl I thought was way out of my league. Knowing what I know now, the combination of horrible logistics combined with moving slow sunk my ship with her. What I didn't know until yesterday was how mamy chances this girl I thought walked on water gave me. I made faux pas after faux pas, not to mention not being nearly as hot back then, and still this girl hung around and clearly wanted something to happen between us. All because I had the balls to approach her to begin with.

Which means I've always been a king, and I just didn't know it.

To realize this, to TRULY realize it... I know I'm a stud now, but if Ambiance from back then had a shot with a girl that hot, then just imagine what I can do now.

Girls don't scare me like they did even half a year ago.

...

Much as I would like to end this section on that note, there is one more thing I must bring up. Last weekend, I broke one of my hard rules and now am paying the price. My good friend was paying someone to do an essay for him, and I told him I'd do it instead. He knows I am smart so he was thrilled. In my cockiness, I didn't verify whether I was actually up to the challenge or not, and so I took on the project. Well, tried to start it tonight and found it impossible. It's due tomorrow, and my friend had already made plans all of tomorrow, but there was no way I was doing that paper. So he got screwed over, and its all because I was so cocky I accepted something I couldn't do, and I didn't do it until the deadline.

This guy thought the world of me before, and while I didn't think quite the same, he was always very cool with me. And this is how I rewarded him. While I know I probably just lost a pretty good source of value and friendship, I am not as perturbed at myself as I should be. Annoyed is the accurate description.

I wrote a few entries back that I was done taking half-measures, and that I am not afraid to be the bad guy anymore (at least while I'm young). This is based on Chase's convincing The Civilized Man article. I was definitely the bad guy tonight. I feel sociopathic right now. Tonight was, in a way, all according to plan. I wanted to be the guy who takes and doesn't give back.

A reminder tonight has given me is that I need to be around people I wouldn't feel as apathetic about wounding like this. I need to be around people I respect as I respect myself. This has always been very difficult for me, which I've touched on in previous entries. Maybe I should make a post about how to not look down on people when striving for true greatness and they're not.

Personal
The real winner of the last month has been my music library. Have gotten into so many great and diverse bands. It has received the bulk of my free time following time spent with my girl. Restructured my genres to get more technical. Also have a perfect new rating system which helps me keep track of masses of songs I keep downloading.

Gym has been going real well. Was stuck on a plateau with bench, but adding another set to my workout saw instant results. All of my other lifts are exactly where I want them. It's a cool feeling.

My girl got me some new shoes, which looks great. I've also been wearing chubbies (shorts that show a lot of leg) more, which girls actually love! My girl gets very turned on when I wear them around her, and I get many AIs in public. Have had those for years yet was missing out.

My friend in AZ and I have gotten even closer over our passion for music. I am finally at the level where I can consistently introduce him to stuff he both hasn't already heard and actually enjoys. About time I started to pay him back for all the wonderful stuff he has shown me. I need more friends like this guy! It is easy for me to go out of my way for him.

Alright, calling it here.