Barry's Social Circle Journal

[Rage]

Hey bro,

I just wanted to say hang in there!

I feel what you're going through, had been feeling the same today kind of down because of having school (not even doing bad or super busy or anything but just the having it in the first place).

I wrote about it a bit and realized something just a little while ago (because was feeling down and wanted to kind of analyze my feelings).

I realized that when something is depressing you, if it's external much of the time it drains you and your energy. It works kind of the same way that the paychic vampires do. If that's happening you have the option of going and approaching anyway (which you probably can and should do... And which I ended up doing just now) but more important than that is to is to identify the vampiric externalities and them work to cut them out of your life (for me that's school).

Works sort of like an anchor holding you down, you can make progress even with it holding you down but it's much more efficient to cast it off and then have your game be unbridled and full of potential for great results.

(Just wrote that a while ago, realized that and felt a little better... And then went and got a cute girls number who lives on campus )

Good luck dude, don't let yourself feel guilty try to work on fixing what's getting you down, if you can approach anyway while your down great ... If not it's cool just chill and wait till you feel more up to it at a later time

-Gem

 

[BarryS1]

OMG I'm yellow now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't deserve it though, the technican role requires 10 lays, I've only had 8

I realized that when something is depressing you, if it's external much of the time it drains you and your energy. It works kind of the same way that the paychic vampires do. If that's happening you have the option of going and approaching anyway (which you probably can and should do... And which I ended up doing just now) but more important than that is to is to identify the vampiric externalities and them work to cut them out of your life (for me that's school).

Works sort of like an anchor holding you down, you can make progress even with it holding you down but it's much more efficient to cast it off and then have your game be unbridled and full of potential for great results.

(Just wrote that a while ago, realized that and felt a little better... And then went and got a cute girls number who lives on campus )

Good luck dude, don't let yourself feel guilty try to work on fixing what's getting you down, if you can approach anyway while your down great ... If not it's cool just chill and wait till you feel more up to it at a later time

Hey, Gem thanks for the support. I feel guilty about not approaching with these social circle resources. I feel upset b/c I can't keep any girl in my life. I don't have my own place to take them to PLUS my parent's house is in a far-off suburb area. Public sex is great, but it doesn't get a girl coming back that many times - plus its nerve-wracking as hell for them. Chase wrote about ego-depletion when pushing girls too hard, that's what I'm doing.

I won't be able to be physically active for a couple months, I'll just spend time on finding a paying job and moving out! Stupid unpaid internships! Are they popular down in SoCal too?

 

[Rage]

Dude let me tell you that I can empathize more with your situation right now than most guys probably can (a lot of the same stuff going on for me).

I have a gym social circle full of hot older married women that find me attractive but that I seem unable to do anything with (not that it’s not possible, just that it’s tricky and I’m not quite skilled/technically savvy enough yet to figure out what I can do).

Haven’t had a steady girlfriend in quite a while too; haven’t gotten laid in several months. Live with my parents too and can’t really bring girls home or pull anywhere either … plus majority of girls I meet at university are commuters so I have nowhere to take them too.

I'm not really worried about any of this though.

Reason being that when the time comes for me to get good, it’ll come. I’ll go out and approach and meet new girls regularly now… but I know that before I can get really crazy freaking good with women it will take me moving out and getting my own place, moving to somewhere with good sexual market value and approaching every day or at least many times a week before I can gradually build up to getting crazy masterfully skilled.

To get really good at a skill takes an intense and formulaic grind period like that and I’ve had to put that into any skill I’ve gotten good at. Right now that’s writing and weightlifting for me; I have routines down for them (will write every day and weightlift 4-5 days a week). True progress is only made gradually/incrementally like that; those are the main skills I’m focusing on.

Seduction is coming soon dude (write now I can fool around and have all the FR’s and FR +s I want and occasionally get lucky … but till I put down a hard system I’m not gonna get really good at it as efficiently/ quickly as I can)… I acknowledge that and accept that… but yeah am eager for the future too. In the future I’ll move out and get a place somewhere with good population and then I can have somewhere to pull to, have a plan for going out have a perfect location to bring girls back and can really work then to tweak and improve tweak and improve and make the progress to get really good.

As far as keeping a girl dude I’ll tell you that personally my theory is that us seduction guys want a good girlfriend much more than the regular dudes do. We want the fullest in everything in life and a passionate relationship is no different; I think for that when I’m ready the girl will come. The way it should be and the way I expect it to be is that I sleep with a whole load of girls first and get my skill really fucking good first before I run into a real love at first sight material girl to keep as a LTR.

If it comes before that? Well I believe that you shouldn’t get anything you don’t deserve and if you do get it before you deserve it you kind of won’t know what to do with it; if it’s something that I don’t deserve at a given moment then if a girl like that comes into my life earlier than she should I won’t be able to utilize that properly (whether that be setting expectations or keeping high abundance mentality in the relationship or whatever). I crave a girl like that I really do but getting fucking good skill wise comes first… to get good skill wise requires getting my own place and getting some money to be able to float free, and getting out of school so I’m focused on that.

Regarding the internships, yeah they have a bunch of those too here dude… good luck looking and good luck getting a job you can enjoy dude (fuck anything soul sucking lol).

p.s. I never made that connection between the 4 cavemen on the boards and the 4 characters on the test https://www.girlschase.com/diagnostic-st ... utm_medium … how many is it supposed to be to get to master do you know? I consistently get technician when I take this test and I’ve never gotten the fourth one when taking the test.

 

[BarryS1]

Reason being that when the time comes for me to get good, it’ll come. I’ll go out and approach and meet new girls regularly now… but I know that before I can get really crazy freaking good with women it will take me moving out and getting my own place, moving to somewhere with good sexual market value and approaching every day or at least many times a week before I can gradually build up to getting crazy masterfully skilled.

Same, a lot of the guys here with consistent lays have their own place. Right now, I am making marginal improvement picking up girls, but it takes resources to keep them in your life. Car/public sex just isn't enough sometimes!

As far as keeping a girl dude I’ll tell you that personally my theory is that us seduction guys want a good girlfriend much more than the regular dudes do. We want the fullest in everything in life and a passionate relationship is no different; I think for that when I’m ready the girl will come. The way it should be and the way I expect it to be is that I sleep with a whole load of girls first and get my skill really fucking good first before I run into a real love at first sight material girl to keep as a LTR.

I am starting to get that feeling too. Most of the girls I've dated/slept with are pieces of meat to me. I don't like them, but date to increase my skill level. Right now I am in a casual relationship and plan on experimenting with pre-selection at events. If the girl gets wisked away by another guy, good, I never liked her anyway. On the plus side, I will meet other girls at the event B/C I had pre-selection.

I still get fuzzy in the head after approaching hot and socially-calibrated girls, so I am not being de-sensitized. I am experiencing exactly what Ricardus said, only experiencing emotions for high-caliber girls, not those who give me the time of day.

If it comes before that? Well I believe that you shouldn’t get anything you don’t deserve and if you do get it before you deserve it you kind of won’t know what to do with it; if it’s something that I don’t deserve at a given moment then if a girl like that comes into my life earlier than she should I won’t be able to utilize that properly (whether that be setting expectations or keeping high abundance mentality in the relationship or whatever). I crave a girl like that I really do but getting fucking good skill wise comes first… to get good skill wise requires getting my own place and getting some money to be able to float free, and getting out of school so I’m focused on that.

I see a lot of guys worried about getting into a relationship soon. Dude, we are gonna still have boners until age 60, time isn't that big of an issue. If the girls in this country wont date me at that age, I'll move to the Phillipines and date a younger girl there! haha!

On a side note, I have gotten better skill-wise with the tactics (sexual frames, push-pull, ect.) by having a girl around. We can practice all types of stuff on her consistently and measure results. I had the biggest "ah-ha" moments after a date, not an approach. Plus, you never have to deal with social momentum b/c you two are talking all the time!

p.s. I never made that connection between the 4 cavemen on the boards and the 4 characters on the test https://www.girlschase.com/diagnostic-st ... utm_medium … how many is it supposed to be to get to master do you know? I consistently get technician when I take this test and I’ve never gotten the fourth one when taking the test.

I remember Chase saying on the comments, we need 10 lays b4 the technician role. IDK for master maybe 50? I remember Franco saying his lay count is around 45ish and considers himself a technician still. On Chase's interviews, his count is in the hundreds!

 

[BarryS1]

FU: Roommate Interrupted

I had a second date with the black girl from the private university on Thursday. I was feeling exhausted after the streetgame adventure the day before.

The girl:
-Virgin
-Never been kissed before
-Quite and never says more than 5-10 words at a time
-Lives in college dorms with 1 roommate

We meet up and go to her dorm right away to watch a T.V. show on Hulu. Around the 7-8 min. mark, there's a commercial and I bring her in for a kiss. She was resistant to everything I did over the next 1hr and 45min. For every escalation, I pushed her away every time (Chase's advice).

Escalation procedure:
-Made out, grabbed her ass w/o resistance. Putting my hand between her legs she asked what I was doing.
-Waited 10min. tried again
-Waited 10min. tried to get her boob out, faced resistance
-Waited 5min. got her boob out, sucked on it and got her angry. She's like WTF are you doing. I caved in again instead of being dominant.
-Tried pulling her pants down and faced resistance again while making out.
-Got her to squeeze by dick and after coaxing, pulled it out and she started jacking it.
-I got on top of her while she was laying down and gave a massage/grinded on her.

Her roommate popped in right here and I was laying there on the bed witnessed an awkward convo. I layed on the bed face down to hide my dick. When she left, we looked at the clock and the girl freaked out saying she had to be at a club event 5 min. ago. I wasn't in the mood of escalating at that time, so left w/ her.

I did work in the library while she did her club thing. An hour later we got food together and discussed future events on campus.


Overview:
I am not a pushover during approaches or on dates, but physical escalation is tricky for me. I cave in too much to the girls demands. On the plus side after not knowing how to make out or move her body on the first date, she did VERY well on the second. Hands down best kisser I've ever had. Probably b/c of the big lips.

I am having surgery today and wont be posting for the next month or so.

 

[PrettyDecent]

I am having surgery today and wont be posting for the next month or so

Good luck on your surgery, bro

~Nick

 

[Mr.Rob]

Good luck on your surgery, bro

Ditto!

pimp the fucking nurses while you're there... they deserve a smile/flirtation from their soul destroying jobs/hours

 

[Rage]

That sucks that the roommate walked in dude... and hang in there, hope you get through it all (surgery and rest of month) all right

 

[BarryS1]

What's up people! Thanks for the kind words, I recovered fine!

Nurses probably had fun putting in my catheter while I was knocked out, the pervs

Even though I was recovering over the last month, I've been going out a lot the last 2.5 weeks. I am not supposed to exercise until the beginning of the year, so my schedule changed a lot. I lot a lot of weight after the surgery (threw up a lot) and back to my old weight IDK how it happened so soon, but my muscles are gone!

I have a TON of FR's to report!


Social Circle Update:
- No exercising social circle now (gym, self defense class)
- Socializing more at the private university
- I work at a start-up on the weekends
- My new job is starting in two weeks

My new paid job is remote work, so I might move to a new city. My social circles might change, so I don't want to add more before deciding.

 

[Rage]

Hey welcome back man! glad you're healing up

My new paid job is remote work, so I might move to a new city. My social circles might change, so I don't want to add more before deciding.

Sounds awesome! and like it has a lot of potential for game and new experiences.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Welcome back baby!

 

[BarryS1]

Thanks Angelface

FR: College Social Circle - Mad Hatters 12/2

Before meeting up with the girl I'm dating, I tried direct approaching but got a weird result. I did a perfect direct approach with the special simple compliment but heavy vibe, but didn't want to continue the conversation. I got bored with her and let it go. I didn't even deep-dive her.

WTF IS WRONG WITH ME, SHE WAS HOT!!

I met up with the girl and she brought a couple friends along, it's cool b/c we've been seeing each other for a couple months. I'm TRYING to meet more people through her. I thought we would be going to a social event (so I can meet more girls), but we ended up buying watermelon juice and going to a friends dorm to played the "who am I game." We were having so much fun that, I lost track of time and forgot to mention the dorm social.

W/e b/c they invited me to a big event on Friday.

Sidenote:

I am thinking about friendzoning the girl I number closed at a coffeeshop last Wed. I don't have any hot female friends in my job industry, she would be great to bring along to events and the after-parties. I need support more than dates right now.

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Private University Christmas Party 12/5

The girl I am dating from the private university invited me to the Christmas Ball party she was throwing. They had face painting, build a bear workshops, massages, photo booths, and balloon animals. I came with the girl 30min late to the party, but most of the people left. There was around 100 still left in the building.

Me and the girl talk to a couple friends we hung out w/ on Monday. We go stand in line for the balloon animals and I photobomb the girls behind us.

Girl #1 Half-Asian half white
She was the in group of 4 girls who I photobombed. After I did that, the whole group laughed and THAT GIRL SPECIFICALLY introduced herself to me and asked my name. I tried getting a convo w/ her, but her friends kept interrupting. Thus the vicious cycle I’ve been plauged with over and over the last couple months:

-asking a situational question
-the girls going off topic and talking to their friend
-me teasing the fuck out of them
-convo dies a little and I keep popping q’s to keep it alive

I eventually get bored and stop talking to the girls. It made the girl I am w/ jealous hahaha! She kept trying to enter the convo, but no one would acknowledge her!!

Girl #2 Face painting girl. White chicks

Two girls were in a line parallel w/ the balloon animal line for painting faces. I made a comment to her about the quality of the work they are doing, but she hardly acknowledged me, even after asking another question.


I got bored of the soft shit going indirect, so I picked it up and started walking around campus after everyone dispersed. The girl who I was with hosted an event elsewhere, so she was gone. It was around 10:45pm now.

Girl #3 Athletic girl walking

I was walking w/ a water bottle in hand back to my car, when this blonde athletic girl crossed my path. She looked at me b4 I looked and her. I caught up to her w/ my new direct routine, but she blew me out saying she had a bf. She was nervous while saying it and rushed into a building after talking to me.

I spent the next 30 min or so walking around campus in random places. I went to the girl’s event for a couple minutes, but got bored and went sarging out again.

Girl #4 Pajama girls

I couple HOT-ass girls wearing red pajamas walking past me on campus. They were the hottest ones I’ve seen all day, looked Isreali w/ big asses, ridiculous! I ran off campus and tried intersecting them at a cross-walk to make the interaction look “natural”. As they passed me, one kinda glanced over, so I ran up behind them and told them to stop. They briefly stopped walking, but I approached the hot one and said “I was walking across the street, Had to say you look UNBELIEVABLY HOT.” They didn’t say anything, but kept walking. I laughed it off!!

I’ve never said something that lewd in a direct comment before, but I was in a pussy starvation.


Overview:

I had a horrible day, with a lot of things going wrong in my life, so I said FUCK IT and went out. I gotta get more advice on my indirect-direct game. I’ll probably call my PUA instructor for a Skype session and tell him about my problems. His last Skype session helped me out a lot and I have a lot of new sticking points now!

I have a lot of reference points, now time to go back to the drawing board and redo my game!

 

[BarryS1]

New Goal: Sexy Vibe by February

I haven't met any girls since Thursday and I am still exhausted from the outing. I am creating a list of to-do's and going back to the drawing board for creating stronger indirect game. I created a list of things to do for constructing a sexier vibe:

-Go to more social events
-Join my PUA coach's bi-weekly coaching session on indirect game stuff
-Post my specific questions to this board

 

[BarryS1]

Conflict: Friendzoning a Girl

The girl who I stopped dating and friendzoned confronted me for a relationship tonight. I stopped making out with her/pushing for sex last month, but she randomly sprang the question. We usually hang out with the same group 1-2 times/week the last two months. I had no idea it was coming.

I got it straightened out b/c I told her since we weren't having sex, I didn't know she wanted a relationship. I said starting a relationship won't happen w/ me until sex. She didn't want that, so we agreed (even though she was sad) that we like going to events together and don't want to ruin it.

Overview:

At least I saved a friendship b/c I don't have any contacts at the private university yet. I am still experimenting w/ social circle and can't afford to loose her. She already has a valuable reason for being around me, we go to professional and social events together! I am providing value and improving her life!

 

[BarryS1]

FR: New Year's

I had a friend hit me up about meeting for lunch and since I was working remotely I went. My friend is gay and very financially successful with 2 masters degrees, tons of certifications, ect. at 27 y.o. We were talking about dating and joked that I was WAY better looking than the guys he’s seeing. He said no because event though I have a “great face” (by his terms), I don’t have great fundamentals. He says I:

-Don’t have mature fashion (true I dress punk-like b/c I don’t need to dress formal)
-Have terrible facial expressions (He says I never smile and do tons of quirky facial expressions)
-Still have a little body fat and need to loose the rest of it along w/ gaining weight

That hit me by surprise and he’s right. I decided to take action for fixing these fundamentals by practicing and hiring a fashion consultant.

We went to SF for new year’s by the pier, but I didn’t approach at all. I was really tired and wasn’t in the mood. I didn’t want to feel pressured to approach girls, just enjoy the company of hanging out. I haven’t hung out on almost a month b/c everyone’s been so busy.

 

[BarryS1]

2015 Changes to Social Circle

Social Circle since August:
-Self-defense class and gym (Ended in October)
-Private university (September, October, and November)
-Some salsa classes (Throughout August only)
-Old college friends (August only)
-Start-up on the weekend (November - Present)

New goals for social circle journal:
-Cancelled self-defense and gym memberships (My boss ended up flaking so I don’t have a contract anymore)
-Maintain connections at private university
-Make new contacts at community college (I decided to take more classes this spring)
-Events I can bring the FWB girls to for pre-selection
-Make guy friends (only friends I have are gay or hot girls)

Social circle results:
-Date with one girl, but couldn’t lay her. She asked for a relationship, but I said we should just be friends.

Seduction Skillbuilding goals:
-Read 4 books about becoming popular/relationship building
-Read all of Chase’s articles of social circle/hierarchies (Start in March)
-Finish vibe assignment (ends in February)
-Need better indirect game
-Get a new pua coach for attracting girls my own age (phone consultation)

Overview:

It’s been a real clusterfu#$ getting the right social circles down. Starting social circle in August, I went to lots of events that that were not useful besides meeting girls. For example, I did salsa dancing for a month, but realized dancing does not fit into my life. I do not need dance training, it does not fit into my goals. I am focusing on social circles around business and education before I start getting income for going to the self-defense class.

Another problem is that no girl is interested in talking to me very long. In all the social circle events/classes I've been to, conversations usually last 15 sec. long before they get bored and talk to someone else. THAT NEVER HAPPENS WHEN I INDIRECT OR DIRECTLY COLD-APPROACH. I have an entire list of things to try doing when the schools get back in session, so we'll see.

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Shaking off the cobwebs at private university

The last month has been terrible for me. Besides going to relatives houses for the holidays, I have barely socialized or approached. Just sitting in my room or a coffeeshop applying for jobs/interviewing. I feel like a shell of my former self a month ago when I had zero fear in stressful social situations. I've been down because my life isn't going anywhere b/c I haven't found a new job after 3 months of interviewing PLUS I still live with my parents.

The girl from the private university hit me up yesterday to go to the social event, but when I got to campus, totally froze up. I felt awkward and dazed being out in public again. Horrible feeling...I couldn't start a convo with anyone. Tons of hot girls at the event, but my head felt fuzzy because I've been a recluse for the last month.

I have a quota for 100 approaches this month and attendance at 12 events, I gotta get the ball rolling!!!

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Lost my willpower

I went to the private university for a quick study session, but lost the willpower to approach. I don't know what is going on with me. It's such a terrible feeling. It's like my flame is extinguished and nothing can light it. I've done the following:

-NLP motivation
-Talked to a PUA guru in my area
-Gone a LONG time w/o fapping
-Created a confidence "ritual" to get me in the state

It's not just to approach girls, but start conversations in general. I don't like talking to other people anymore. I don't get any joy from it, even in places where I perform my hobbies. This is a real bummer

My motivation to approach is totally sapped!

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Fun outing and taking a gamble

The girl who I used to date at the university is a drag to be around so I decided to stop going to her events. She doesn't introduce me to anyone, plus she's unpopular and doesn't know anyone lol. She's the event organizer, but she doesn't know anyone there haha! I decided to skip out on her events and just decide to go to events on my own now.

Taking a gamble:

Here's the risk I'm gonna take. I am taking the girl clubbing on Thurs, but there's a chance of loosing her. She WILL meet other guys to replace me, but there's a chance I can meet girls to replace her. I'm willing to take that bet because she's outlasted her usefulness. It is not healthy to build this relationship with her to meet other people when she's not social.