Barry's Social Circle Journal

[BarryS1]

FR: I need to change my habits - Private University

Theme to practice: subcommunication - tonality in different parts of conversation.

I don't have a lot going on in my life lately, so I decided to sarge around at different towns and do my online class. Still no job, but I have a TON of energy built up. I went to a town first, but couldnt approach because of lacking motivation (at least nervousness gone). I let at least 5 girls walk by

I went to the grocery store and came home and saw a couple girls and didn't approach either.

I went to the private university after and walked around for a whole 1.5 hrs and only approached one girl. I let at least 20 girls walk by me while touring the campus. She was a yellow light, but responded great after my different tonality techniques. I let her go because she was ugly ahaha!

Overview:
I shouldn't be approaching right now, but too burned out from job searching to do anything else. I realized that daytime streetgame isn't good for me because I don't have any other type of human interaction throughout my day. The times when I do AMAZING at streetgame, I would have a full day of working/talking to people. Since that is absent in my life, I SUCK at streetgame now. I seriously can't believe I am stuck in this rut after so much work.

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Fun Night at Hip-Hop Club

I took the girl from the private university clubbing in the downtown area of the city. There was an 18+ event at a hip-hop club so I purchased the tickets beforehand. The venue had all black people, including the girl I brought. I have never seen so many hot black chicks before, really took my breath away. We got in the venue around 11:00pm and left around 1am. I approached 9 different groups of girls and she didn’t object to any of it. She’s the type of girl who just stands around and shyly looks around. No one talked to her the whole night lol! Just to let everyone know, all the girls I approached were black.

My goal: Focus on having high energy/no awkward silences and practicing better speech sub-communication. With clubbing, I’ve always had this awkward silence after dancing with the girl, tonight, I wanna turn up the vibe and plow through transitions.

Quick note: All my approaches were on the dance floor, for the 18+ area of the club there were no seating areas. I would have gone upstairs to the 21+ area, but the girl I was with is socially uncalibrated and might run/leave if I left her alone. She was scared as hell the whole night! Before approaching any girl, I MADE SURE to let them see me talking to my girl.

I don’t remember approach #1-4, mostly hip bumps where it didn’t go anywhere and the girl just kept standing awkwardly.

Girl #5: I approached a girl looking bored in a group of 3 with a nice leather jacket. I mentioned how it must be stuffy and said we should both take off our jackets. I showed her a little skin and she started looking at me head-on. I took her hand to dance, but she said no. I started making fun of her and festering how awkwardly she stands around not doing anything. She turned and left.

Girl #6: I approached a group of 4 girls who weren’t talking together. I hip-bumped my target and she laughed at my white-man dance moves. My target didn’t want to dance, so I made fun of her awkwardly standing around. Her and the group turned and left. She didn’t like it when I made fun of her.

Girl #7: I asked the two if it was and and I should take off my clothes. I had a tank top underneath and started talking to my target (HB-10 black girl). I talked about her gold necklaces and if she stole them. I made her stand in front of me, touch my necklace, ect. I gestured towards both girls to keep them in the loop. I eventually started dancing with the really hot one, it was amazing The fatter one had to take a phone call and I started chatting up the hot one. She’s 18 and lives in a nearby city. She excused herself to go to the bathroom, but I suggested she stay for awhile. She didn’t answer but kept saying she had to go.

Girl #8: I approached a girl from the girl #6 group and they LOVED me. I was extremely high energy and made my girl dance with one of hers. They forced her friend to dance with me but she didn’t want to talk. The friend looked more traditionally African and had the sexiest teal dress I’ve ever seen. She literally backed away from me and didn’t want to talk. I tried talking to the group of friends more, but the energy strangely died after that. Like “puff” GONE. I saw the girl again and talked to her 30 min later, but a guy pulled up his shirt in front of her and they grinded for 10 sec. before the girl left with the friend. LOL!

I don’t remember approach #9, probably with a group of black girls. I wrote in my phone 9 approaches, so I gotta trust that!

Overview:
I forgot to approach girls in places besides the dance floor. I got caught up having too much fun to make a strategic plan. Next time, I won't bring the girl, but go on my own. That way, I can go to the 21+ part of the club and the outside patio. I could of done a lot of things better, like going direct once in awhile and using more non-verbals. I feel great utilizing the new vibe because approaching is more fun now! I am gonna post of my vibe assignment to this journal.

 

[BarryS1]

Making a change

I hate to post depressing stuff, but I've been in a bad place the last 4 months. After my job ended, I have had problems finding a new one with frustrating results. I never understood how important emotional state was until loosing everything. Here's the series of events: lost job ---> ran out of money to maintain hobbies ---> lost my new friends ---> had surgery ---> lost 20 lbs.

Pretty bad, huh?

After four months, I've had enough. Instead of trying to start my career and interviewing like crazy, I decided to work as a paper filer part-time and go to school again. I am going to become a secretary because I don't have enough social interaction in my life anymore.

Here's my new schedule:

Monday/Wednesday/Friday:
-Secretary job 9am-5pm

Tuesday/Thursday:
-Morning and Night class at community college

Maybe an event at the private university some nights, but that's it! I am staying lean!

Overview:
Screw my old idea of living with my parents to support myself while working unpaid jobs. I am gonna make money again and move out by March!

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Escuela

I came out of my first class today and saw a latina (HB7, big butt, short) sitting on a power grid box by herself. I did the whole double-take routine of Chase’s, but she had her iPod on and was looking down. I poked to her her attention, but she didn’t seem started at all. I said she had…really cool hair, but her reaction really caught me off guard - totally confident response. The exact opposite of what I thought she would be. I transitioned to “upwards” tonality to say my name and she said hers.

Complex name I joked, she sounds like she's explained that 1000x. She said how surprised she was and I stated that I needed to do something spontaneous before leaving campus for the day. I said before we know it, time is gone and we need to live in the moment. Deep dived about her major and life goals. Asking why she chose something over another as a major even though they are similar. I broke rapport several times with my “up” tonality and she played along well. I joked if she would care about the rich/spoiled/druggy kids as a social worker and she gave this hardcore story about wanting to help everyone b/c income doesn’t matter. She went into how she lives in a tough neighborhood and wants to help people (like DEEP shit). THIS WAS HER DEEPEST PASSION! Qualified her saying she put some real effort into the career decision. She started going on again, but I interrupted her saying ridiculous things, amusing myself.

Asked out to rice and got a no she's busy. Said we are having a lot of fun and I could totally see us getting rice together (I pointed). She said she LOVES rice, but some lame excuse that’s she’s busy. I was gonna retort, but her mom came in a run-down minivan and picked her up.

Overview:
That was my first GOOD approach all month. Conversations like that keep me going.

 

[BarryS1]

Plan for school

I work remotely, so I have time to take classes in the middle of the day. I only graduated from college a year ago, so it's not hard to fit in.

Girls I wanna meet (who I see regularly):

1) Tutoring center receptionist

-I have been saying hi to her the last three times going to the center and asked her a question about something. We got into a conversation about it, but didn't exchange names.

2) Girl who comes into my class

-When my morning class ends, there is a latina who comes in and sits at the same table as me. We got into a small conversation, but didn't exchange names.

3) Tutor at other school

-She was helping me with a math problem and we did some deep diving and bantering.

Overview:
My libido has been extremely low this year from lack of sleep and stress. I don't even have the willpower to approach 6/7 times I go out. The more times, I regularly to go these places, the more regulars I'll see.

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Girl's Night Out!!!

It was gonna be a girl's night out, but everyone canceled except for my gay friend. We went barhopping to several places in my city and the private university I usually go. The bars were hopping, but the private university was dead b/c of the long weekend.

My willpower to socialize was at absolute zero, so I talked to my friend all night. This was my first time going out at night in a month, but it didn't feel weird.

The only approach I did was ask a group of girls if they wanted some blueberries at the private university. We bought fruit at a grocery store a few minutes previous.

Overview:
I have a real problem with my libido and willpower to approach. Thinking about it, the only time when I was "good" at pickup was when I was on the liver tabs and borage oil! From April to June, I experienced my greatest results. I am gonna get back on that stuff.

 

[BarryS1]

FR++: Breakthrough at school!

On 2/19, I went to school, approached a girl who was looking at me, and we went on a date a couple hours later.

Quick note:
I am deploying a LOT of different techniques than a few months ago such as vibe, push-pull (I finally got it down), and and sub-communication. The way I have conversations now are completely different than two months ago!

Couple interesting parts:
-The approach
-Getting her to move w/ me
-Meeting her afterschool
-Driving to mexican place
-Making out in car
-Dropping her off at home

I just got off a conference call at work and was about to leave the building when I saw a retarded girl with a big ass and nice legs. I thought she was a legitimate retard because she hard frumpy clothing and a roller backpack....no seriously, a roller backpack. I said w/e I need to talk to someone and approached her asking about the sign. She had frumpy hair like hermonie granger in the first harry potter movie, but when I approached, she seemed totally normal ahaha!

We started walking and talking, plus went to the office to do some paperwork together. She waited in line with me as well haha! Afterwards, she went to the top floor of a building to the outside balcony to study. I went a little hard on the push-pull and had to recover, but it was an exciting conversation for her. She is the shy, excited type so her reactions were pretty much the same the whole night (probably b/c she wasn't used to being pick up like this). I deep-dived on where she's from and turns out she's 26 at a community college taking night classes and used to go to the private university I sarged at in the Fall! She doesn't even have a cell-phone, so we exchanged emails. She had to email her dad saying she's gonna be dropped off haha!

We meet after class and take my car to get Mexican food. She was a airhead, so the convo was all about rambling about certain things and challenging her.

We go to a shopping center and I am really laying it heavy with the chase frames about her wanting to go shopping to get me in a dressing room. She finally starts to let go and gets flirty with me haha! A couple minutes later, she was talking as dirty as I was. We start talking more about fitness, then I start grabbing her legs and make her grab mine. I was commanding her to take off her shirt, come closer, ect. We start making out, escalating, ect, then she pulls the LMR. Long story short, after deep-diving, she got raped a couple years ago and has never been with a guy since. I put the breaks on right there and started rambling about other stuff - eventually getting us to make out again.

I drop her off at her house and play around with her in the street, like:
-making her talk about the good sex she had
-picking her up and spinning
-slapping her ass
-talking dirty
-telling her parents that I am just a friend, but keep a secret she is really f-ing me

Overview:
Turns out she's only had good sex one time in her life and only been w/ two guys. She asked how many girls I've been w/ and I blew it off. She will be fun to bring to events, but after f-ing her, I am definitely leaving.

 

[BarryS1]

Life Update: Changing My Schedule

I was working as an admin 20 hrs/week for pocket change, but decided to drop the job. My main focus is finishing my internship and grad school pre-requisite classes by May. I have been sleeping 5-7 hrs/night the last three weeks and been feeling terrible. My plan is to move out of my parents house by June b/c I will have 2 yrs. of working experience by then. I will finally be able to get a full-time job.

Also, I am going to a beach town for spring break in one month from now. I am really excited b/c spring break last year was a lot of fun. I am going again by myself, but I don't want to make any more new friends. I plan to move in June.

Overview:
I've been feeling so sick with stress lately that my sex drive has almost disappeared. I don't think I've ever come close to this level of stress before. I am glad I dropped the 20 hrs/week, even though I'll be living on my life savings again like the last 2 years.

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Cold Approaching on a Date

This is the second girl I’ve done it with and worked a lot better than last time. This story is broken down in two parts, before the party and during.

Before Party:

I was at school and noticed a sign-up booth filled with people. Among those people were a DD girl (half hispanic/white, HB9) and a lot of other white girls. It was a voting booth to vote and they offered free food for incentive. I had a hard time logging into my account and it got the attention of every single employee. Long story short, I had a great time talking to all the employees, especially HB9. I flirted wight he HB9 girl a lot she did this to me:

-Kept mentioning that "this was a lot of work for free fries"
-Pushed her boobs up against me when showing her my login info on my phone
-Played along when I called her the booth girl
-Adjusted her body to take a picture with me and rest of the booth girls

It was kinda busy, but we exchanged names and pleasantries before leaving. I asked if she was gonna be at the party and she said yes. I was absolutely exhausted and wasn’t a good conversationalist at the time.

During Party:

I picked up the girl from my last FR++ for our “day 2” and went with her 1.5 hours before the party ended. My girl had on a sparkly golden dress, but wore legging with it. It could of been flashy, but she is a huge prude ;P

The girl I brought knew EVERYONE there. I made sure to talk to everyone EXCEPT for my target (HB9) girl. HB9 girl looked over at me 3 times that night before I approached her. She saw me dancing with my girl, chatting everyone up, and having a great time dancing. I took photo booth pictures with almost everyone there! Finally I approached when she got off the dance floor:

Me: Hey

Girl: (Looks at me straight in the eye and has a small smile - hard to tell)

Me: Tiffany right?

Girl: Noooo! It’s X!

Me: What?! No its not, I talked to Y (another girl) and she said Tiffany was here. I thought that was you.

Girl: (Told me the story about how it was the OTHER girl I took a pic with)

I forgot how this convo ended, but my girl interrupted with some of her friends. And we all started dancing. Here’s what happened afterwards:

-I started dancing close with my girl
-She starts kissing my neck
-I bring in another girl and start dancing w/ two girls at once (in front of HB9)
-A third girl comes in and I am dancing with a swarm of girls (still in front of HB9)
-Like 15 ppl join and we all do the can-can dance
-I break out and grab HB9 by the hand and start spinning/dancing for awhile
-I ask if there’s food and we go off the dance floor
-After eating I mention to go outside b/c it’s hot (leading her by putting my hands on her waist)
-We chat and say we should go over there and find a smoking section (away from everyone else)

Me: You are INSANELY cute. (I grab her hand)

Girl: Oh! Thank you! (chuckling in surprise)

Me: Actually I don’t smoke.

Girl: What are we dong over here then?

Me: I just wanted to do this (pull her in for kiss)

Girl: Huh, no. I don’t really know you (softly said again and stepped back slightly)

Me: Yeah you do...we are both dancers at college x.

Girl: (smiling, but not really laughing. Definitely attracted, but surprised).

Me: You were right about me X, I did want to vote, but there was something else keeping me there.

Girl: (low tone, but kinda playful). I had no idea why you were standing around so long just to cast a vote.

I tried going for the kiss again, but she pushed me off coyly and was looking around in case anyone saw us. I said we should walk back and at a high point asked her out for burritos (i didn’t know what else to say). She said she was vegan, so I proposed a vegan place to eat next week. I number closed and she put a heart and weird smily emoji. I joked:

Me: There’s a heart and a weird smily face. I think it means, I like you, but I’m not quite sure yet.

She was laughing as I said this and we said goodbye.

After party:
I was making out with my girl, but I couldn’t close AGAIN. I had her suck on my fingers, but that was all she would do. BOYFRIEND ZONED AGAIN

Overview:
I think I went WAYYY to fast with HB9 instead of having a good conversation. I got swept up in the moment and didn’t want my girl to interrupt. I should of brought her off the dance floor and stood around in the corner and talked. HB9 returned my ice-breaker text that evening and was popping questions how I liked the event and if I enjoyed myself. I admit it was too fast b/c I didn't know a single thing about her besides the name before going for the makeout. Probably the only reason she returned the text was because of the pre-selection and social proof that night.

 

[ray_zorse]

Sweet moves, I believe in Chase's ebook it tells you you can usually recover from moving too fast but not from moving too slow
-Ray

 

[BarryS1]

Thanks Ray, I set up a date with the girl for tomorrow. I sent the date text Sunday night 3/1 and she responded to my text the next morning from her email (a lot of phones have that feature). She apologized saying her phone died and was enthusiastic over text. I am happy she invested that much to contact me instead of waiting until her phone was fixed.

Overview:
I'm not gonna go for first date sex this time...my first EVER and try date compression instead. I am so stupid for going on a date with a girl I didn't screen yet. Whatever, it will be a nice change of pace.

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Tricky First Date

I took the girl out to a vegan takeout restaurant today, but it did not end well. I sprinkled some sexual tension throughout the date, but WAY less than usual b/c I wasn’t going for sex. I have never gone this vanilla in awhile.

I met her after class and we went in my car. I tried to be playful and have her guess which car was mine. It took her awhile, but she hardly has any sense of humor and not that playful. I would call her the simple and quite type.

The takeout place was awesome:
-I challenged her that her major was gonna be replaced by computers and we got in a playful dialogue.
-She talked about eating whole cucumbers and I made subtle dong jokes like “I bet you keep a whole bunch in your desk at work and your co-workers all ask about it.”
-I made a connection to her France travels by DHVing about my travels to France.

We went to the mall after, walked around, and I made my usual dirty joke about her trying to trick me into the dressing room or make me try on sexy clothes.

On the walk back to the car she said that I caused drama in the student government. Apparently my date last week really liked me and wanted “something to happen”. My current date told everyone she met me and that I asked her out. She said that there was one girl that liked me and I caused drama for her at work (the school government). Long story short, my current date said that she was given shit for going out with a guy another girl liked. She told me she didn’t care about the other girl, but wanted to tell me HOW MUCH TROUBLE I CAUSED LOL. I said I am not apologizing for looking attractive and if some random girl falls in love with me, so be it. I reversed the direction of the convo immediately and we were joking about other things.

I tried kissing her in the car, but she said she doesn’t kiss guys she just met. I re-affirmed our connection but it didn’t work. She said how much trouble I was again and again She was busting my balls about my nipples being hard and I started playing with her boobs. She would only let me give a kiss on the cheek

Overview:
I am gonna ask her out again, I do not like her personality, but she is SOOO hot. She is calm, but air-headed - never had that combo before. Later in the date, we had A LOT of kino, but she didn’t wanna kiss. I am definitely out of the boyfriend zone because she said she was gonna transfer soon and I said I am trying to move to SF by June.

Things I did good on:
-Keep the convo moving despite her inability to talk more than 5-6 words at a time.
-Didn’t pay for her food.
-Didn’t let her go in any stores at the mall, only the ones I wanted to go into.
-Super slick transitions from blabbing about random stuff to deep-diving.
-Challenged her with opposing positions to get her more involved in the conversation. She ended up caving every time
-Qualified her only when she gave good answers to my questions.

Things I did bad on:
-Didn’t get a first date kiss.
-She got a little surprised by my dirty jokes and sexual frames (hard to tell if I suck or if she’s never been talked to like that). By surprised I don't mean creeped out and went silent, but astonished, "What!? Omg you did not just say that (while laughing)." Usually girls will just play along.

 

[BarryS1]

FR++/ FR++: Stuck in the BF Zone

On 3/11 and 3/12, I went on dates with the girl from the event at the school. Compared to last week, she wasn’t guarded at all and actually fun to be around. In fact, it was a complete 180 from when we met. It threw me off guard how inexperienced she was for being so hot. Turns out she was extremely catholic until like 6 mo.s ago and JUST lost her virginity.

3/11

Series of Events:
-Walk in park around evening and she tells story of her path away from religion
-She was really cold about me holding her waist while walking and kept saying how aggressive I was
-She gives me drama again about see other girls and I tell her I don’t apologize for it
-We take a 10min drive to her place and talk in car
-She talks more about her journey away from religion in 3 different areas of life. I qualify heavy after this investment
-Talks about her limited sexual experience and I am framing her in the right direction
-Took 40min or so to her her to make out. I share the passenger seat and start feeling her up, but she moves away from the private areas
-I decided to leave b/c it was late on a Wed and she kept pushing my lands away. We were in my car for two hours!

Overview:
I did excellent sexual framing and bringing her sexual insecurities to the surface. She was cold as ice and called me out whenever I brought up something sexual/touched her, but I kept persisting. She was actually PISSED I was sexual, it was funny! This is a breakthrough for me because I am starting to get REALLY hot and inexperienced girls.

3/12

Series of Events:
-Met at apartment complex at night after her fitness class and she is immediately feisty and touches a lot - GOOD
-We go to the deserted gym together and work out w/ me as the pervy spotter
-She keeps getting frisky so I decide we take it to my car to listen to music
-We get in the backseat pretty soon and kept commenting how “in a rush I was in”
-I did a couple sexual frames, like “you wore me down yesterday” and I heard this is a good "post-workout exercise.”
-She kept asking me about personal things like aspirations, family, and “how my mom was like”, ect. BFZONED!!
-I got under her shirt and she liked when I played with the boobs, but when I touched her p—y a couple times she pushed away
-We were really going at it this time, at least 2 hrs. in the car making out.
-I decided to end it b/c I had to use the restroom, we said our goodbyes and she made out with me like crazy on the doorstep.

Overview:
I think it will take awhile before she has sex with me. She not playing a game with me, it does seem she is unfamiliar with sex. I am going a lot faster with this girl than the virgin from last semester. Date compression is working! She is extremely hot and FINALLY acting latina a haha! I am definitely catching the feels with her, but I am gonna force myself to go out this weekend. I can tell she is gonna ask me for a relationship if I keep this up. I’m gonna try sleeping with another girl before her!

To Do:
-Start reading relationship articles and see how she checks off.

Just noticed I have two techniques now:
-The deep-diving filter where I blow through topics until getting on a sexual one and sticking to it
-The ramble where I start talking about random things and put my own sexual spin to it WHEN she starts investing in that topic

 

[BarryS1]

FR: Catching the feels...

Since my last date with the Latina, I haven't been able to take her off my mind. Even though I've approached since then, it hasn't worked. I haven't felt this way about someone since that Portuguese girl I banged in May with the fat ass lol! When she canceled on me Wed, I actually lost sleep that night WTH!

I am in the boyfriend zone and she is dragging this out on purpose. When I was walking on campus yesterday, I spotted her from a far distance sitting with her friends. She came out of nowhere and ran towards me. I was fumbling with my words and she was acting unusual as well (not as smooth as I remember her). We set up a date for Sunday to go on a short hike.

Overview:
I have until 3/26 to bang her, if not then I am ditching her. I need some hard rules for these girls in social circle. This is the third girl I've wasted time on and nothing happened. I feel like a 13 y.o. kid with his first crush writing this, it feels weird.

 

[BarryS1]

LR: First Social Circle Success - Abra Kadabra...dryspell BEGONE!

I laid the HB9 Latina that’s I’ve been thinking about lately in my car. I acknowledged to myself that going through laying her will result in a relationship. I was so frustrated with her throughout the whole date, but I am glad I didn’t cave in. My car once again smells like body odor. I haven’t banged a new girl since the end of September! I banged a FWB two months ago, but not a new girl in 6 mo.

This is my 9th lay now!

3/21

I text her confirming our date for 3/22 and she jokes that I should give her a full-body massage. I said there is a few hours free and taking a break would be a good idea. I haven’t seen her in 1.5 weeks because of her last cancelation.

Quick preview:
-She is the quite type, so it takes a LOT of coaxing to get her to start talking.
-I am VERY talkative, so it takes awhile to hit a topic she is interested in and BOOM, it’s a party!

Series of Events:
-I texted her I would be there 30 min late w/o a response.
-I get there and don’t hear from her for ANOTHER 30 min.
-I tried walking around her park’s apartment complex to approach, but didn’t see any girls.
-I was 10 sec. away from driving away when she called and came out apologizing.
-Went to her apartment’s private gym and could hardly get a conversation out of her - not playful AT ALL. Just as distant as when we first met.
-We did a full-body massage on each other with foam and handheld rollers.
-SHIT-TEST ALERT! Afterwards she said she was gonna run for 30 min or so w/o acknowledging me. I pick up my stuff and say goodbye, but she gets her stuff and follows me out. HAHA!
-ANOTHER SHIT-TEST ALERT! In a serious voice she says that she’s home alone and if I wanna take her upstairs. I try playing it sly saying okay, but she laughs like crazy and reveals its a joke. She got me….
-We sit outside in a fire pit in her apartment complex and I built her inspiration (I will write on this later, my PUA coach taught me about this).
-She is getting really touchy, so I say we should listen to music in my car.

Sex Part:
-I escalate the way I usually do, manhandle kiss and move to the passenger seat laying on top of her.
-She gets really antsy b/c there are a ton of people walking outside around 10pm and driving past.
-I put up the car sun visor and get back to what I was doing
-I start fingering her and she doesn’t protest. She touches my pants and I have to pull it out. (I can tell she’s inexperienced b/c she gives bad hand jobs).
-I get back in the driver seat and say I am gonna eat her out. I finger her while eating her shaved pussy out - making sure she doesn’t come.
-I asked her 5-6 times with increasing intensity if she wants me to fuck her. She says yes louder and LOUDER
-I strap on the condom and bang her while learning on top of her in the passenger seat in the front.
-I come after like 5 min or so, but it’s good.

Series of Events 2:
-We start walking around and she is constantly slapping my ass/playing with my crotch.
-Eventually get her in the car again for round two.
-It lasts at least 15-20min and she comes several times - she tightened up and felt her pussy get really wet at a couple intervals.
-My condom breaks and she starts freaking out. It is probably b/c she got dry a couple times. She CONSTANTLY HAD TO MAKE HERSELF WET AGAIN.
-She gets really frightened and starts shaking.
-I tell her I am coming back in the morning and gonna get her a pill.
-I walk her to the apartment complex gate and say I’ll have my phone on if she can’t sleep.

I leave around 1:30am and get back home and text saying I’ll call in the morning after I pick up the plan B pill. She says okay and will try to go to sleep.

Conclusion:
-I get the plan B pill and go on a date with her the next day (hiking).
-She mentions going on birth control regularly now (wow, she is definitely planning a relationship now).
-She is completely different and WAY more energetic with me now.

Overview:
I am thrilled that social circle is finally working for meeting high-caliber girls. This is the hottest girl I’ve ever banged or gone on a date with. Without the pre-selection and the jealously from the other girls at the school dance, NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE.

 

[BarryS1]

My Dilemma - I'm catching the feels bro...

The journal hasn’t been updated lately because I’ve been feeling a sense of incongruence for approaching more girls. I’ve developed feelings for the girl from the last LR and it feels strange. I hate that "the feels" came through in this part of my life when I am supposed to be growing. I am mad for not having the mental toughness for just kicking her to the curb and leaving. I am a damsel, pansy-loving, mocha-drinking softie!

I’ve been living in two worlds - gaming or staying with the girl

-Stepping up my game and enrolling in a pick-up program online
-Getting “up to speed” like others on this forum
-Banging more girls my age while I am enrolled in college the last 1.5 months
-Having the support to sarge while living w/ my parents

-The girl has checked off every note on my list of desired LTR attributes (after reading most of the relationship articles from GC).
-She’s never flaked on me and invests heavily including giving BJ’s when on her period.
-The type of value that I’ve been looking for: stimulating me enough to get my mind off present issues. It’s great how I don’t have to talk about myself to her (however I like talking about her).
-She’s a unicorn by being with only one other guy, an ex-Catholic (she’s kinky), Latina, and insanely attractive.
-She “mothers” me in public in front of people we know by combing my hair, fixing clothes, ect.

Overview:
I don’t know why she hasn’t asked for a relationship yet. We’ve been going out for exactly a month and I’ve banged her for the first time almost 3 weeks ago. I’ve never felt so derailed before because one of my MAJOR goals is being put on hold.

I'm 23 years old and this is the first time I've caught the feels for a girl and she has as well. I am not worried about never having relationship experience. I think changing my personality is FAR more important than gossiping about past relationships.

 

[BarryS1]

Starting a LTR

I got a dramatic story to get off my chest. Long story short, I am in a LTR with the girl from the previous LR. I’ve been seeing her for 3 months now, but the way I got into it was unusual. If I posted what she said, it would not make sense because she was protecting her ego. Translating to girls chase terms, I had attainability problems so she was nervous about getting hurt. I’m not going to write about WHY the relationship is happening, but how it happened.

Some background:

-The girl I am seeing is extremely hot, but sexually clueless. I found out later she’s only had sex one time with one other guy because she was a lesbian in the past, plus was a Catholic (I’m not even kidding here). She has a difficult time communicating what she wants sexually and this translated DIRECTLY to trouble expressing how she feels.

-She’s meet my sister and a couple of my friends, but I’ve meet almost all her co-workers and friends.

-There’s been an increasing, linear relationship to how we see each other. She’s been asking for more of my time and I’ve gradually been giving it to her. It took me 3 weeks to bang her, but I followed Chase’s advice for building a relationship. We went from hanging out places/banging in car -> short hikes -> grabbing dinner together -> long day trips -> spending the night together.

-We met via social circle, so lots of her friends knew we were going out. The last month, she’s told me several times that either her family/friends/co-workers saw us together in public or on her social media and wanted to know what our status was. It took me awhile to realize, but that was her way of asking to clear the air.

How it happened:

After working out at the gym with her and went back to her apartment complex, she mentioned again how her family wants to meet me. We talked some more and her cousin texted her and asked if I was her bf. I thought enough is enough, this girl is trying to get me to talk. I said this:

You’ve been mentioning people asking about me for the last month and I think I need to clear the air. Are you trying to talk about our status? It seems like you are bringing up the topic of becoming serious a lot lately.

She went completely cold and had a hard time saying this:

I’m good where we are right now.

Long story short, I started probing how she felt and suggested canceling our weekend trip if she thought I was pressuring her. I must of came off harsh because she started sobbing/wiping her eyes.

Fast-forward 1.5 hours later, we are in my car talking and I get the feeling she’s saying BS to protect her ego. I say:

We don’t have to play games with each other. Look, no one likes feeling rejected ok? I wouldn’t have been spending time with you and going on trips if you didn’t impact me.

I also said this:

I brought this up to help YOU. I felt like you were under a lot of pressure from friends/family/co-workers and were asking for my help.

After some coaxing, she said this:

I already feel like we are in a relationship.

After some more talking, she said she wanted a relationship and I said I could give that to her.

Overview:
Turns out she’s been telling her friends I was her boyfriend the last MONTH and been exclusive to me the entire time. She showed me text messages of her telling her friends she really like me and that I’m a keeper. She also thought I was seeing other people and brought up that question.

I turned out to be right, she was protecting her ego because 1) she can suffer reputation problems in social circle and 2) she thought I was seeing other people and didn’t want to hurt her ego.

 

[Smith]

Congrats bro! sounds like she's madly in love with you! Hope I'll still see you around on here!

 

[BarryS1]

Thanks Smith, I'll definitely be sticking around and posting on the relationships boards.

I've been thinking about how it happened the last couple days and saw Ray's thread that Franco commented on: https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=10405. After reading what Franco said, I did the right thing by tackling the situation head-on after she's been hinting at a relationship. Ray commented how he's used to girls asking him directly (so am I), but this is another tactic girls use.

Also, I stumbled across RSDTodd's video about shit tests vs. comfort shit tests: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQlWb0kd7oo. He talked within the context of picking a girl up, but this applied to my situation about the girl getting close to me. When she said, "I am fine where we are right now" she told me LATER she wasn't sure how I felt (plus thought I was seeing other people). I interpreted it as "trying to save her ego", but I did well by telling how I felt in increments according to HER investment as well.

When I saw her a couple days later, nothing changed. In fact, she was even warmer with me and took me out for my birthday in a coastal town!

 

[BarryS1]

Social Circle/Relationship State Of The Union

Wanted to create a state of the union report for my monogamous relationship over the last five months. I have never been with a girl this long or a relationship and been scrambling trying to read relevant GC articles/threads. The biggest hurdle is trust b/c I have had a lot of dating experiences about being lied to/cheated on by girls who were married or in relationships.

Timeline of events per month
-June:

Literally felt like heaven. We saw each other 2-3 times a week and had sex about every other time (sometimes staying up to 5am). She met my immediate family and I met hers.

-July:

Went away across country for 12 weeks as part of my job. I constantly had panic attacks about the stories she told be about the orbiters hitting on her. The first three weeks I was there, I considered breaking up with her because of nervousness. It made matters worse b/c we constantly fought about her anoressic habits. We Facetimed 2-3 times a week for 1-3hrs. I work 50-60 hrs/wk so I did not have enough time to socialize to increase my abundance.

-August:

I could tell she was depressed from the long distance and kept telling stories about the orbiters. She quit her job, but it was probably because the orbiters were causing her stress. Communication decreased to 1-2 times a week, it took all my willpower to remain non-needy and contact her only for relevant reasons.

-September:

I flew her out for a week to my city and saw another side of myself. I discovered the source of drama I keep creating and admitted to it, bad news for me! I still had panic attacks of jealousy, so I admit to sarging/number closing/dating other girls (I did not get physical with them). I planned events we would go to after I come back while FaceTiming.

-October:

I returned home and I started implementing the growth plans. We are integrating our lives together more instead of staying separate. I am starting to hang out with her closest friends and we said “I love you” to one another. Also surprised with the new things I am learning about her past. She’s been busting my balls about ME being the one who needs sex and that SHE’S the one teasing me. She wants to do a test for restricting sex and is talking about not doing it for a month - wow I can’t believe this is already happening. I dismissed her by changing the conversation and not taking it seriously.

Description of her:
-Shy-excited type, but heavily leans towards the reserved side. I am considered high energy, but chase’s article said they don’t like energetic guys. Even with her closest friends of 2+ years she is not always excited.
-Heavily the submissive type because she gets quiet/sad instead of getting angry.
-Not sexually liberated: had a girlfriend and boyfriend before, but they never made her orgasm. Only had penetrative sex with one other guy one time.

Relationship rules:
-Do not let anyone else sabotage the relationship. There’s a difference between someone who is a friend vs causing problems for their benefit.
-Monogamous: she asked me about my history and I said I was not seeing anyone else either. She said, “good, we are monogamous”.
-Respect: Over the summer she said that she does not get physical with guys (grinding, kissing, being alone with someone interested, ect.) and expects the same as me.

Growth
-Forward momentum: meeting family, saying I love you, meeting friends.
-Goals:
short term: planned halloween and winter break events.
long term: joining a gym together

Problems
-Testing me with how I felt about the orbiters
-Causes of drama (me being cold about “not getting sex”)
-Value problems (moving back in and loss of pre-selection)
-Respect and her wanting to play a game of denying sex

Solutions

Orbiters:
When asked how I felt she wants to go hang out with them I respond, “Should I be worried?” (like Franco suggests). I give her this advice: 1) You must understand there’s a purpose for an interaction, 2) they may make their intentions hidden or not, 3) be wary of whether they could sabotage your relationships/goals or not, and 4) if still unsure, just make sure your decision isn’t keeping you up at night. 5) I will confront the problem and tell her that specific guys are not respecting her space (I have not heard anything to make me go to the 5th step yet).

Timeframe: 1 month - watch her investment in you and if she brings up those guys again.

Causes of drama:
I go cold on her when she does not want to have sex. It has happened only three times so far, but it creates a tense moment that lasts about an hr. She says I throw a tantrum and go cold when she is not in the mood. From my perspective, I am in my first relationship and want things to go as smoothly as possible. I’ve been cheated on/ditched before and still succumb to the belief that if we aren’t having constant sex I will be replaced. I admitted to getting cranky when we talked about it (BIG mistake on my part).

Timeframe: 1 month - 1) do not get in a place where me or her can escalate w/o sex. Logistics are a big problems and the resistance comes when we are not in an ideal location. 2) do not let her tease me/turn me on w/o it leading to sex. 3) do not stay up past 1:30am with her or do longer goodbyes. She always teases me late at night when I drop her off.

Value problems:
1) moved back into my parents house and do not have logistics for sex. 2) am looking for a job and do not have the “status” of working for a large company that I did last spring or over the summer. 3) My car broke down and I have had to borrow my dad’s car to take my gf out (thats the reason now she doesn’t want to have sex - it’s my dad’s car).

-short term: same rules as above for the drama issue.
-long term: get a job and create a lifestyle that “makes her worried”. Not worked this out yet, but I am going to go to events that help my goals, but useless partying.

Respect:
When dropping her off last night, she mentioned a competition to see who can “break first” and initiate sex. She thinks I can’t go long without sex and that SHE’S the one who is teasing me. My solution is the same as above for the drama issue.


Overview:
It is my fault that the dramatic issue of sex comes up over and over. We live with our parents, so sex is something that has to be planned out or in my car. I have a situation that is not ideal and doing the best I can do give her a good experience. She is doing what any girl would do and wants to play with my emotions. I am going to win this short term battle and get a job to move out/build my lifestyle.