Cultivating the X Factor

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Another one for the books! HBTall. LR coming soon

 

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There's a lot going on. Sometimes it's hard to organize all the thoughts swimming around in my head but I have to if I am to make any progress. To help I'm going to compartmentalize the different areas and sticking points I have noticed that have prevented progress.

Nightgame:

Inability to spot good sets (have been out with wings who have pointed out girls who are interested/looking to hookup). I haven't been able to see the signs. Inability to relax/getting in my head, which has led to harsh blowouts. Focus should be on being in my body.

Repetition. Situations came up which I had vowed I would respond to a certain way but when the time came I didn't. Situation in question was a really attractive mixed white/asian looking girl complementing me on my jacket and style, telling me she liked it seductively. Told myself if this happened I would deflect it "oh stop it" but instead reverted to thanking her. Another situation came up where a guy was tooling me about my jacket. Instead of responding with a comeback like I'd read about here "You're the fashion expert!" from the article Chase wrote about about coming back with zingers, I froze up. I'm not getting into these situations frequently enough to develop these responses to the point of habit.

That being said, what I'm finding is a lot of this stuff is because I'm in my head. I find that if I'm feeling great about myself, I tend to remember the responses I've read. I am on. I am witty and quick with the comebacks. Being in your head doesn't just make you feel bad and make others respond more negatively to you, but it also impairs your memory so that even if you get a good opportunity, you don't handle it well.

When I start getting in my head I also start getting intimidated by how young the girls look and feel weird/my approaches seem forced. Memories flood back of all the rejections. When I am not in my head I am smiling and laughing with them/seeing them as silly and cute and they respond accordingly.

I need to keep things simple so I don't confuse myself. Focus on self amusement and giving value by talking to everyone first and foremost, and secondly scan for the girls who are giving signs of interest, and make heavy use of chase frames/cooperative teasing/we frames. Think of her as silly and cute - call her things like "missy" to make her feel small and feminine. Befriend the friends and then focus on isolating her "can I steal her?" using we frames "we're going off on an adventure"

I know there are advanced techniques but I feel I just need to focus on the basics for now because I'm overwhelming myself.

Also, I seem to have an unwillingness to stay until closing time. I just get tired easily. But again, that comes back to running out of momentum and getting in my head. I would have no hesitation staying out if I was having a great time with everyone.

Overall:

There is something else that has come up. It's a nagging feeling that because I've been in this for a while I can't ask for basic advice anymore. My ego is getting in the way and instead of looking dumb asking noob questions I instead avoid it altogether. Which is dumb. I know a lot of shit. But I also don't know a lot of shit. And the reality is this is like any skill. Inevitably you will regress at points/forget things and may have to build yourself back up. It's nothing to be ashamed of. But it also shouldn't be an excuse. I obviously need just much more repeated exposure. And I need a better way to document the lessons. All my notes are strewn throughout multiple word documents/notebooks/this journal/online. The sheer amount of information is getting out of hand and getting hard to organize.

 

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Fuuck. So pissed at myself. Opened a lone set complementing her on her jacket. She was absolutely stunning and hooked immediately, flirting with me back. A guy came past and hovered, I assumed it was her boyfriend but she quickly told me it was her brother and that she was out with her family. Turned attention back to her, then her mum and dad came up and I was in a group - shook hands with the mum and dad who enthusiastically were engaging me, made some banter back and forth. But then - I wished them well and ejected! I don't know why - perhaps I couldn't handle the tension of the whole family there. It wouldn't have been that hard, could have said something like "hey, I don't want to keep your family too long and I've got to meet my friends but lets exchange details and see if we click". Or something along those lines. Hell, since they were heading home it would have been even ballsier to suggest going for a drink right then and there and letting her family go home. Would have displayed mountains of confidence - she was already attracted. Not staying in a good set feels just as bad as not approaching in the first place. In fact it feels worse. Pretty sure I even heard the mum (who also was a total milf) say "he was hot" as I was walking away. What if...

 

[Beam]

New Gambit:

Came up with this one on the fly last week and I thought it was pretty funny. Needs more field testing (have only used once with a girl I've slept with) and it's roughly what I said but the wording may not be exact.

We were talking about where we met (one of the streets near my house which we both frequent):

Her: I wonder if we've run into each other before and not even realized.
Me: Possibly. But there's an easy way to know.
Her: How?
Me: In the last two years (how long we've both lived there) have you ever spotted a man who was so incredibly attractive and sexy that you stopped dead in your tracks, got extremely nervous and started breathing heavily, wishing that he would come over to say something to you. But then it didn't happen and you went home disappointed and dreamed about him for the next couple of months?
Her: Haha, no.
Me: Then no we haven't.
Her: HAHAHA

It's a fun little chase frame. Can also be used if she asks "Have we met?" but I haven't field tested with a random girl yet.

 

[Beam]

Experimented with an HonestSignalz opener from this video on Saturday night to great success in hooking.

Went up straight to 4 girls, said "You!" in a commanding tone. "I saw you over there and had to come over". We are going to Brazil".
3 hooks,

One was with her friends on the street and laughed but her friends pulled her away.

One blew my mind. She was a typical hot bitchy looking plastic blonde.
Immediately her eyes widened with attraction and she asked my name, going back and forth describing the holiday destination before she sidled up next to me and in a hushed voice said "so commanding. I like it". Her friends came by, when I said we were getting married her other ugly friend starts saying that we can't because they were already getting married. We went back and forth before I jokingly said they'll both have to come with me to Brazil then. Hot blonde dropped out of her trance and this point, said "we're getting a divorce" and left with her friends, before saying she'd see me around. I'm not sure how I could have handled the friend in this instance. I fucked it up further by going up to their table later and acting like a typical chode. Whole vibe had changed and they were not having any of it. When they left I went to call her again but she said "sorry!!" and left. Not sure how I should have handled the friends in this situation. They had just entered the bar (she was waiting for her friends to scan in when I opened) so it might have been too soon to isolate?

Another in a bar. Annoyingly there were three women, one with a guy and another two. I couldn't see the others faces so I picked one. She wasn't that attractive and also ended up being 38 but the other one was younger and a total babe. I couldn't switch it up to hit on her at that point since I'd already "chosen" the object of my affection which sucked. Bid her farewell. Later on when I was talking to another girl she walked past behind me and brushed my shoulder with her hand.

A fourth in the same bar. Back and forth, instagram closed.

Had another interaction with a girl who actually was out to get laid. She specifically said so as she was trying to pick up the bartender by giving him her number and telling him she wanted a root tonight. And was peacocking with a black fur coat and extensive jewellery. I was next to her as she was saying this and tried being playful, started roleplaying, telling her that I was sad, we had already planned our honeymoon together to Brazil and now she was about to run off with the bartender. When she wrote the number on the paper for the bartender I made a comment on how she had mistaken it and it was meant for me. She starts looking me dead in the eyes saying "I don't like where this is going". Then she unloads.
"I don't like this energy".
"What energy".
"You. Entitled".
"I'm not being serious".
"I am not either". But she definitely was. Seemed like she hated my guts. She left soon after that. I later saw her laughing with some other tall dude with blonde frosted tips.
Ugh". And walked away.

Details on this one are fuzzy. I had had a bit to drink. But it was important. Possibly tried to force the chase frame a bit too much while the bartender was there. With us both there, and him clearly in a position of power, it probably made me look weak in comparison and so when I started throwing out this roleplay and chase frames, she didn't buy it for a second. Might have been more tactful to realize that she was not going to get anywhere with the bartender, stepping away, and then, knowing that she was out to get laid, approaching her later on.

 

[Beam]

Another quick summary. Still sleeping with HBTall (twice more). She is locked in at this point. The sex is very vanilla, she is not an adventurous person. I have been having an extremely difficult time getting her off though, but she says she doesn't mind and is enjoying herself, and enjoys my company. Interesting girl. She has told me that it takes her a ridiculously long time to warm up to people but then once she does, she is extremely warm and close to them. I've passed this test for now (obviously since I have had sex with her) so I'm very curious as to how this is going to play out. I need to monitor myself so as not to start getting insecure about having a hard time getting her off. I bought a Hitachi Magic Wand, I am thinking of bringing that out next time. May have a tough time convincing her that I haven't used it before with other girls.

Irrelevant but I love this - she frequently talks about how she hates people touching her, and coming up to talk to her especially when she's out walking her dog, and has always been like this since she was a kid. It's a turn on knowing that she hates others doing this but loves me doing it and made an exception with my approach.

Have found that when I am sleeping with a girl, my motivation to daygame tanks while my nightgame motivation remains the same. Need to fix this.

I need a reorientation since I feel like this journal has lost focus again and I have lost sight of my goal, again coasting and not firmly progressing.

 

[Beam]

Went out solo both Friday and Saturday. Still adjusting post lockdown, one of my old insecurities came up quite a lot - my age. Two years on from the start of the pandemic a lot more people look like children now when I go out. But this is a problem in my own head and I'm the one being weird about it. I can tell that they don't see anything out of the ordinary at all - I still fit right in. A lot of young girls around 18/19 are attracted to me - I can tell. But I've been lying about my age - they usually guess 22-24 and I say that's right. Still scared that if I reveal I'm 29 they'll recoil. Volume still an issue, there's an invisible wall preventing me from being free and approaching at will. I think I'm scared of building a reputation and being recognized since these are places I am now going to quite frequently. Also I've been wearing similar clothes since they get such good attention.


FR Friday:
Went out solo to the CBD.

Approach 1: At the bar, older (probably early 30s) but attractive woman standing next to me orders a jug and three glasses. I ask her jokingly if the entire jug is for her. She hooks and jokes that we need it after lockdown. Back and forth - she tells me where she is sitting with her friends and says that I should join them while I wait for my friend (told her I was waiting for a mate). I tell her I may join later with a smile. Ran into her again at the bathroom, she is enthusiastic, a much older dude behind me immediately after in the bathroom wishes me luck and says she was hot. This bar was small and everyone was sitting pretty much so rather than loitering decided to bounce to another bar nearby.


Approach 2: Not really an “approach” but in line, two women, quite attractive but a lot older (probably late 30s/early 40s) came by to stand by me next to the line. Gave them a smile and said hello as they approached. Immediate hook. One starts asking my background. I use my standard “I’m half Irish/half Chinese” response which always gets a laugh since I’m brown. Then joke about having gone to the beach and gotten burnt yesterday. One is particularly taken, asking me who I’m here with etc etc. I joke around with them and say I might run into them later. Later on she is talking with what I think is an extremely good looking dude but she keeps looking back to me and pointing at me to her friend. I reengage saying “Hey it’s my line buddy”, she then comes over and tells me that I’m cute. I politely thank her but am not interested in taking it further.



Approach 3: Tall blonde stunner at the bar with a friend. I wait until they’ve ordered their drinks – they head to the dancefloor. I approach her boldly and use the “You. We’re going to Brazil” opener. Energy was off though, wasn’t the same as last week. She shuts me down. “No, we’re not”. I stay in set anyway, cold reading that they’re besties. They tell me they’re here with their boyfriends and coworkers. I decide to eject.


Approach 4: Two set of short average looking black haired chicks. One was dancing energetically – I comment that I like her energy. Back and forth, don’t sense much interest but I get their names and run into them a couple more times in the night.



Approach 5: See an absolute beauty at the bar talking to a guy and some other girls, then she turns away to order. I go up the guy and ask if she’s his girl. He says no, go ahead, then taps her on the shoulder and tells her that I wanted to talk to her. I would have preferred to open myself. She was polite. I complemented her on her fashion sense, she told me she liked my jacket but walked away.



Approach 6: Had just turned away from the bar when I saw a mixed white/Asian beauty in line. Energy was strong. I immediately said “Wow. Well I’m not leaving without saying something to you”. She laughed. I sensed some interest. Went back and forth. Was not sure how to handle this – since I’d gotten my drink and she was waiting for hers. I didn’t want to just hang around there with her – figured I would run into her later and reengage. So I told her I was going to the dancefloor, she said it was nice meeting me and I left. Regret not just staying in set. I didn’t see her again.



Approach 7: Looked exactly like Ellen DeGeneres and I told her so. Joked back and forth, did not sense much interest.



Approach 8: It was only 1:30 but I got in my head and bailed. Walking home saw a black haired stunner walking the other direction. Passed, looped back. Opened direct “Saw you and thought “that girl is gorgeous” blah blah”. She told me “I know” with a smirk. But then “But really, what am I supposed to say to that”. Didn’t realize at the time but in retrospect this was a shittest. Went back and forth, commented on her black outfit, she said it was because she was a spy. I like this girl. I joked that I was a male stripper. Roleplayed and number closed after suggesting drinks at a rooftop near mine. She seems interested.



Not girl related but something else that happened that night

When I was walking home (before Approach 8), I ran into an extremely disgusting human being – easily one of the worst people I have ever met. Leaving, this short middle aged dude greets me and asks how my nights going. I smile and say good and ask him how his was. He says



“Good – except for seeing that” – as he pointed to a woman getting into her car. She looked scared. The woman was unattractive, there was no doubt about it. Not sure if she had a condition of some sort. But the guy seemed to take extra offense to it.


“Inbred mess. They should not exist. They should all be killed”



Couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Told him that was fucked up and to stop being a cunt and kept walking. Then I hear him shouting “inbred” and knocking on the womans car window. She was inside looking terrified. Couldn’t let this pass so went back and told the guy to back off. Was prepared to fight.



“Why are you defending her? Look at her”.

“Leave her alone. What has she done to you? Nothing”

“Yes she has. She exists, that’s what she’s done to me. People like that should not exist. Can you imaging sleeping and waking up next to that? She does not deserve to pass on her genes”



I tell him firmly “People like you should not exist”


Starts going to the back of her car and pulling on her antenna. I go around to her window side and tell her it’s going to be ok. She’s trembling, on her phone trying to dial something.



She rolls down her window and thanks me, telling me not many people would stop to do this. We exchange names, I find out she’s waiting for her daughter which is why she can’t just drive away. I wait at her window. The guy comes back and starts screaming again.



I tell him that he’s a cunt and that she was waiting for her daughter (to rub it into his face that she’d already passed on her genes). He throws himself into a tantrum



“She has a daughter? Disgrace. And you are defending her. They should take a shotgun, put it right to the back of her head and pull the trigger”. He walks away, comes back, taps on her window and says sarcastically “oh, I’m sorry”, and walks away.



I told her to give me her number to call me if he came back, but then realized it was probably better in the cops hands. There was a guy directing traffic in a high vis close by – I told the woman I was going to let him know to keep an eye out for the guy if he came back. Went up to the guy, told him what happened - he was shocked and didn’t even realize what was happening. He promised me he would and I left.





FR Saturday:
Solo again to a bar near mine

Chatted to the guy in the line and the girls behind me. A group of 4 pretty hot girls came – they were with the guy. One of the girls asks the guy “made a new friend?” They engage me. I’m quite reserved though and not warmed up. The girls want to engage with me, I can tell. When I started engaging with the group again one of the girls is just staring at me smiling.

They asked how old I was – then guessed 22-25. I said 24. Got a look at their IDs, was freaking weird seeing 02 and 03 on the back. Got a bit insecure about the 92 on the back of mine and made sure to cover it so they wouldn’t get a glimpse. Really gotta just own this shit instead of being afraid. Problem – I’m not giving myself permission to be flirty and sexual with these girls because of their age. This forum has hammered it in many times that guys get too caught up on age but I keep finding myself falling into the trap again and again. And it’s one of those things that doesn’t change. Like, I might get to the point where I accept being late 20s/early 30s and at peace with it, then at some point in the future I might come back to seduction when I’m in my 40s hitting on 20 year old girls and be weird about it all over again. Gotta get over this now and just focus on becoming more attractive each day. Just keep thinking of Zan in the Alabaster girl, being flirty and sexual with all the girls, no matter how old they are. And them loving it. I’m hiding the banana. Afraid of being creepy. Playing it safe/playing to be liked and as a result not getting anything because I’m not polarizing anyone.


Approach 1: Got in, engaged a couple of people. Went upstairs. Opened a chick. Lesbian. Stayed in set to chit chat to build some social proof.


Approach 2: Well, I got opened here. At the bar, three tall girls, one of them quite hot (a tall blondie with her hair in a ponytail, probably 18/19) are behind me and start giggling to themselves, saying that they’ve found starsky (because of my jacket). Blonde opens me and asks me to buy her a drink, then sidles up next to me. I say “maybe later, if you behave”. She couldn’t hear me, so I said it louder. But then she left. I ordered my drink and turned around. Blondie then asks me if I’m single. I say I am and she says good, because she didn’t want to be the bad guy. I honestly didn’t know how to handle this. She was one of those high energy types. Could tell she was attracted but I didn’t stay in set. My energy was too low, not at their level. I got embarrassed and ejected. Could have been flirty and owned my sexuality here, isolating the blonde by saying “hey, you’re pretty cute actually. I’m stealing you away and we’re going to Cancun/Brazil/whatever”


Approach 3: Girl sitting at table. Bad energy, rejection.

Approach 4: Another at a table. Same outcome. Social momentum gone.

Started getting in my head again. Bad energy (seeing the pattern here??) and left the bar to meet my bouncer mate at another one 15 minutes down the road. Only made one more approach (a hot blonde at a small dancefloor, but turns out she was the girlfriend of the DJ.

Met up with my soon to be brother in law who was there and chilled with him for a bit before heading home. In a bad headspace. Pretty weak effort volume wise.

Main Takeways:


All this shit is in my head. Other people (especially girls), accept, include and are even attracted to me. I have my walls up around everyone else. I can’t seem to just let go when I go out at night and feel like “part of the crowd”. Just still feel like an outsider most of the time even though I have plenty of evidence to the contrary.


The reason I actually prefer daygame and find it easier is because people don’t even realize you’re approaching or see your approach/rejection. At night in bars, it’s a lot easier for ten other girls to see you getting rejected with a nasty look and then your social value tanks in that bar. That’s what I get afraid of.


After strong starts, I always start getting in my head a couple hours in (around 12am) after no successes, then start projecting negative energy out into the world. I can’t stand the thought of bringing this negative energy to people and so I end up leaving early (around 1:30/2) well before closing time.


I don’t have bold, carefree, sexual energy. I’m playing it safe/playing to be liked and as a result not getting anything because I’m not polarizing anyone. Afraid to do so. Afraid of being a creep. Need to let go.

I still get insecure about running out of things to say/not knowing how to move the interaction forward. This contributes to my nightgame AA.

Still insecure about approaching girl after girl because I sometimes see the same people out and I'm afraid that if I burn through sets, the girls/people will remember me next week/the week after that and that venue will be burned for me forever.

I have to truly believe and see myself with these girls. That will make the “we” frames I create more genuine and the girls will feel it. Right now with my walls, I don’t truly believe it. I see the girls as “others” and can’t imaging myself having sex with them. I feel this way with the majority of girls on nights out. Allowing myself to be attracted, giving myself permission to see myself with these girls, being truly part of their night.

 

[Skills]

Went out solo both Friday and Saturday. Still adjusting post lockdown, one of my old insecurities came up quite a lot - my age. Two years on from the start of the pandemic a lot more people look like children now when I go out. But this is a problem in my own head and I'm the one being weird about it. I can tell that they don't see anything out of the ordinary at all - I still fit right in. A lot of young girls around 18/19 are attracted to me - I can tell. But I've been lying about my age - they usually guess 22-24 and I say that's right. Still scared that if I reveal I'm 29 they'll recoil. Volume still an issue, there's an invisible wall preventing me from being free and approaching at will. I think I'm scared of building a reputation and being recognized since these are places I am now going to quite frequently. Also I've been wearing similar clothes since they get such good attention.


FR Friday:
Went out solo to the CBD.

Approach 1: At the bar, older (probably early 30s) but attractive woman standing next to me orders a jug and three glasses. I ask her jokingly if the entire jug is for her. She hooks and jokes that we need it after lockdown. Back and forth - she tells me where she is sitting with her friends and says that I should join them while I wait for my friend (told her I was waiting for a mate). I tell her I may join later with a smile. Ran into her again at the bathroom, she is enthusiastic, a much older dude behind me immediately after in the bathroom wishes me luck and says she was hot. This bar was small and everyone was sitting pretty much so rather than loitering decided to bounce to another bar nearby.


Approach 2: Not really an “approach” but in line, two women, quite attractive but a lot older (probably late 30s/early 40s) came by to stand by me next to the line. Gave them a smile and said hello as they approached. Immediate hook. One starts asking my background. I use my standard “I’m half Irish/half Chinese” response which always gets a laugh since I’m brown. Then joke about having gone to the beach and gotten burnt yesterday. One is particularly taken, asking me who I’m here with etc etc. I joke around with them and say I might run into them later. Later on she is talking with what I think is an extremely good looking dude but she keeps looking back to me and pointing at me to her friend. I reengage saying “Hey it’s my line buddy”, she then comes over and tells me that I’m cute. I politely thank her but am not interested in taking it further.



Approach 3: Tall blonde stunner at the bar with a friend. I wait until they’ve ordered their drinks – they head to the dancefloor. I approach her boldly and use the “You. We’re going to Brazil” opener. Energy was off though, wasn’t the same as last week. She shuts me down. “No, we’re not”. I stay in set anyway, cold reading that they’re besties. They tell me they’re here with their boyfriends and coworkers. I decide to eject.


Approach 4: Two set of short average looking black haired chicks. One was dancing energetically – I comment that I like her energy. Back and forth, don’t sense much interest but I get their names and run into them a couple more times in the night.



Approach 5: See an absolute beauty at the bar talking to a guy and some other girls, then she turns away to order. I go up the guy and ask if she’s his girl. He says no, go ahead, then taps her on the shoulder and tells her that I wanted to talk to her. I would have preferred to open myself. She was polite. I complemented her on her fashion sense, she told me she liked my jacket but walked away.



Approach 6: Had just turned away from the bar when I saw a mixed white/Asian beauty in line. Energy was strong. I immediately said “Wow. Well I’m not leaving without saying something to you”. She laughed. I sensed some interest. Went back and forth. Was not sure how to handle this – since I’d gotten my drink and she was waiting for hers. I didn’t want to just hang around there with her – figured I would run into her later and reengage. So I told her I was going to the dancefloor, she said it was nice meeting me and I left. Regret not just staying in set. I didn’t see her again.



Approach 7: Looked exactly like Ellen DeGeneres and I told her so. Joked back and forth, did not sense much interest.



Approach 8: It was only 1:30 but I got in my head and bailed. Walking home saw a black haired stunner walking the other direction. Passed, looped back. Opened direct “Saw you and thought “that girl is gorgeous” blah blah”. She told me “I know” with a smirk. But then “But really, what am I supposed to say to that”. Didn’t realize at the time but in retrospect this was a shittest. Went back and forth, commented on her black outfit, she said it was because she was a spy. I like this girl. I joked that I was a male stripper. Roleplayed and number closed after suggesting drinks at a rooftop near mine. She seems interested.



Not girl related but something else that happened that night

When I was walking home (before Approach 8), I ran into an extremely disgusting human being – easily one of the worst people I have ever met. Leaving, this short middle aged dude greets me and asks how my nights going. I smile and say good and ask him how his was. He says



“Good – except for seeing that” – as he pointed to a woman getting into her car. She looked scared. The woman was unattractive, there was no doubt about it. Not sure if she had a condition of some sort. But the guy seemed to take extra offense to it.


“Inbred mess. They should not exist. They should all be killed”



Couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Told him that was fucked up and to stop being a cunt and kept walking. Then I hear him shouting “inbred” and knocking on the womans car window. She was inside looking terrified. Couldn’t let this pass so went back and told the guy to back off. Was prepared to fight.



“Why are you defending her? Look at her”.

“Leave her alone. What has she done to you? Nothing”

“Yes she has. She exists, that’s what she’s done to me. People like that should not exist. Can you imaging sleeping and waking up next to that? She does not deserve to pass on her genes”



I tell him firmly “People like you should not exist”


Starts going to the back of her car and pulling on her antenna. I go around to her window side and tell her it’s going to be ok. She’s trembling, on her phone trying to dial something.



She rolls down her window and thanks me, telling me not many people would stop to do this. We exchange names, I find out she’s waiting for her daughter which is why she can’t just drive away. I wait at her window. The guy comes back and starts screaming again.



I tell him that he’s a cunt and that she was waiting for her daughter (to rub it into his face that she’d already passed on her genes). He throws himself into a tantrum



“She has a daughter? Disgrace. And you are defending her. They should take a shotgun, put it right to the back of her head and pull the trigger”. He walks away, comes back, taps on her window and says sarcastically “oh, I’m sorry”, and walks away.



I told her to give me her number to call me if he came back, but then realized it was probably better in the cops hands. There was a guy directing traffic in a high vis close by – I told the woman I was going to let him know to keep an eye out for the guy if he came back. Went up to the guy, told him what happened - he was shocked and didn’t even realize what was happening. He promised me he would and I left.





FR Saturday:
Solo again to a bar near mine

Chatted to the guy in the line and the girls behind me. A group of 4 pretty hot girls came – they were with the guy. One of the girls asks the guy “made a new friend?” They engage me. I’m quite reserved though and not warmed up. The girls want to engage with me, I can tell. When I started engaging with the group again one of the girls is just staring at me smiling.

They asked how old I was – then guessed 22-25. I said 24. Got a look at their IDs, was freaking weird seeing 02 and 03 on the back. Got a bit insecure about the 92 on the back of mine and made sure to cover it so they wouldn’t get a glimpse. Really gotta just own this shit instead of being afraid. Problem – I’m not giving myself permission to be flirty and sexual with these girls because of their age. This forum has hammered it in many times that guys get too caught up on age but I keep finding myself falling into the trap again and again. And it’s one of those things that doesn’t change. Like, I might get to the point where I accept being late 20s/early 30s and at peace with it, then at some point in the future I might come back to seduction when I’m in my 40s hitting on 20 year old girls and be weird about it all over again. Gotta get over this now and just focus on becoming more attractive each day. Just keep thinking of Zan in the Alabaster girl, being flirty and sexual with all the girls, no matter how old they are. And them loving it. I’m hiding the banana. Afraid of being creepy. Playing it safe/playing to be liked and as a result not getting anything because I’m not polarizing anyone.


Approach 1: Got in, engaged a couple of people. Went upstairs. Opened a chick. Lesbian. Stayed in set to chit chat to build some social proof.


Approach 2: Well, I got opened here. At the bar, three tall girls, one of them quite hot (a tall blondie with her hair in a ponytail, probably 18/19) are behind me and start giggling to themselves, saying that they’ve found starsky (because of my jacket). Blonde opens me and asks me to buy her a drink, then sidles up next to me. I say “maybe later, if you behave”. She couldn’t hear me, so I said it louder. But then she left. I ordered my drink and turned around. Blondie then asks me if I’m single. I say I am and she says good, because she didn’t want to be the bad guy. I honestly didn’t know how to handle this. She was one of those high energy types. Could tell she was attracted but I didn’t stay in set. My energy was too low, not at their level. I got embarrassed and ejected. Could have been flirty and owned my sexuality here, isolating the blonde by saying “hey, you’re pretty cute actually. I’m stealing you away and we’re going to Cancun/Brazil/whatever”


Approach 3: Girl sitting at table. Bad energy, rejection.

Approach 4: Another at a table. Same outcome. Social momentum gone.

Started getting in my head again. Bad energy (seeing the pattern here??) and left the bar to meet my bouncer mate at another one 15 minutes down the road. Only made one more approach (a hot blonde at a small dancefloor, but turns out she was the girlfriend of the DJ.

Met up with my soon to be brother in law who was there and chilled with him for a bit before heading home. In a bad headspace. Pretty weak effort volume wise.

Main Takeways:


All this shit is in my head. Other people (especially girls), accept, include and are even attracted to me. I have my walls up around everyone else. I can’t seem to just let go when I go out at night and feel like “part of the crowd”. Just still feel like an outsider most of the time even though I have plenty of evidence to the contrary.


The reason I actually prefer daygame and find it easier is because people don’t even realize you’re approaching or see your approach/rejection. At night in bars, it’s a lot easier for ten other girls to see you getting rejected with a nasty look and then your social value tanks in that bar. That’s what I get afraid of.


After strong starts, I always start getting in my head a couple hours in (around 12am) after no successes, then start projecting negative energy out into the world. I can’t stand the thought of bringing this negative energy to people and so I end up leaving early (around 1:30/2) well before closing time.


I don’t have bold, carefree, sexual energy. I’m playing it safe/playing to be liked and as a result not getting anything because I’m not polarizing anyone. Afraid to do so. Afraid of being a creep. Need to let go.

I still get insecure about running out of things to say/not knowing how to move the interaction forward. This contributes to my nightgame AA.

Still insecure about approaching girl after girl because I sometimes see the same people out and I'm afraid that if I burn through sets, the girls/people will remember me next week/the week after that and that venue will be burned for me forever.

I have to truly believe and see myself with these girls. That will make the “we” frames I create more genuine and the girls will feel it. Right now with my walls, I don’t truly believe it. I see the girls as “others” and can’t imaging myself having sex with them. I feel this way with the majority of girls on nights out. Allowing myself to be attracted, giving myself permission to see myself with these girls, being truly part of their night.

- try not to open verbally in the dancefloor, low odds, just dance...

- you are ejecting sets too early...

- you should have beat up that dude (at least i would have)

- I answer your problem in another post but is more of a problem when you bang the girls, what you have it is a bit irrational indeed..as you keep going out it will go away.....

- don't put so much pressure on yourself go to multiple venues, and choose some type of warm up venue (for the first 30 minutes to an hour of the night), just to warm up(dancing is really good for this, without needing alcohol), then switch venue, and is a trick for social momentum..

 

[Beam]

- you are ejecting sets too early...

I know... I'm still uncomfortable imposing myself on these girls, turning off that little voice in my head that tells me I've overstayed my welcome... But I'm not finding what my limits are by playing it safe like this...

- you should have beat up that dude (at least i would have)

Ah, I was tempted but I have no intention of getting into a fistfight if I can avoid it...

- I answer your problem in another post but is more of a problem when you bang the girls, what you have it is a bit irrational indeed..as you keep going out it will go away.....

- don't put so much pressure on yourself go to multiple venues, and choose some type of warm up venue (for the first 30 minutes to an hour of the night), just to warm up(dancing is really good for this, without needing alcohol), then switch venue, and is a trick for social momentum..

Noted. I've responded on that thread as well.

 

[Beam]

Went out solo Friday, with wings Saturday. Won't write out full details just yet but to summarize -

- Was more aggressive with the girls, trying to stay in set longer. Friday night had one of her whiteknighting chode friends try to "protect" her - she was in a relationship apparently but the vibe was strong. This has happened a couple times now with whiteknights coming into the set to "make sure the girls are ok" and being hostile. Happened to me a couple weeks back to when out with a mate. Socially graceful comeback for them. Next time I want to look to the girl with a skeptical look and say "is he always like this?"

- Another interaction yesterday night. Opened the girl walking by with her fat friend, she tried to leave twice but I persisted in getting her to come back. We talked for 15 minutes, too long without moving her or any escalation. In the meantime her fat friend (whose birthday it was) was talking to and making out with some other dude. In retrospect I think that's why she was talking to me. But the vibe wasn't sexual - I sensed she wasn't attracted. When she asked what I was there for, I jokingly told her that "I'm finally ready to lose my virginity". This got us talking about sex, with her saying how much guys sucked in bed, that the ones who talked the most were the lousiest. I tried DHVing by relaying my experiences across the spectrum with different girls and different personalities. Eventually her fat friend (whose birthday it was) came by and my girl suggested going to dance. I said I'd grab her number in case we lost each other. She declined and leaves. Then her friend stays and says repeatedly "she's out of your league". I told her flat that no woman is out of my league and she kept repeating it. Didn't want to sink to her level but I would have loved to tell her "honey, look at you. Everyone is out of your league".

- Common pattern - a lot of girls seem to get excited talking to me initially but I start boring them pretty quickly and they tune out. Hooking still a problem despite good fundamentals. Keep running out of things to say after the opener most of the time. Prepare to talk their ear off for the first 5 minutes of the interaction. Stay in set to do this, longer than feels comfortable.

- Voice is a problem. So many girls couldn't hear me. I thought I was shouting. Need to project more.

- Girl opened me, asked me if I wanted a shot. Her friends paid for it. Later on we ran into each other again. Wing saw and came over. She grabbed my hand to lead me to the dancefloor, but my wing (he didn't realize what he was doing and later apologized) went in right next to her and engaged, they danced later on and got details. I told him later that I didn't like that and he apologized. Was genuinely sorry and went back to try to find her again for me, found her later but I was engaged in another set at the time, then she left.

- Similarly, opened a girl who came to sit next to us with strong eye contact, smile and a hello. She was immediately receptive. There was a seat in between us, my wing sat down soon after I opened and engaged her. They spent the rest of the night together and exchanged details.
Initially I was annoyed that he hijacked my set especially when I was walking around afterwards with nothing and seeing them cuddling together. But learned to let go. I felt the negativity and closed my eyes. Imagined a big red reset button. And pressed it, resetting my state to positive. Later my wing said he'd never felt such a strong connection with a girl before from years of doing this and she felt the same. The negativity I felt disappeared and I felt genuinely happy for him when I heard this.

- Overall, both nights were good experiences. I approached much more than last week (thanks to the feedback from my question) with less inhibitions. Though still a lot of work to do. I felt free, more relaxed and positive.

 

[Beam]

For next time:

Rewatch "Tims Flawless Natural" again. Watched it months ago then after one positive experience in the club with the material back in June we went back into our shitty lockdown for months.

Reorientation of goals:

Get a second regular. HBTall going well. Had a bit of a rocky period where she almost broke it off due to autorejection because I was slow to set up another meet. She told me once a week wouldn't work for her - we have agreed on seeing each other every 3-5 days. Still haven't made her cum... but came very close last time a few days ago using adapted missionary. Was frustrating because she was getting so close - moaning louder, squeezing harder and starting to shudder - but that turned me on so much that I'd then have to stop to hold it. I couldn't hold it anymore after a couple of times. This happened both rounds. She again told me she had a great time and we could not stop kissing each other afterwards - something she told me she had missed the most because "in long relationships you stop kissing. Sex became routine".

I want a second regular so I can have more regular sex to improve even faster. Note - use stops and starts to last longer on the first round. Could see HBTall more frequently but that's crossing into dangerous territory - once every 4-5 days is already more frequent than the once a week recommended for FWBs. Feel like someone is going to get hurt in the future. But then, part of me also feels she's going to be just fine. After all she did just get out of an 11 year relationship (which she didn't end) and is pretty well adjusted about it all things considered.

Build up more social value
Look into hosting parties. Have built a circle of pretty cool dudes who are all into this stuff so feel like I'll be able to make this work.

 

[Alpha13SC]

For next time:

Rewatch "Tims Flawless Natural" again. Watched it months ago then after one positive experience in the club with the material back in June we went back into our shitty lockdown for months.

Reorientation of goals:

Get a second regular. HBTall going well. Had a bit of a rocky period where she almost broke it off due to autorejection because I was slow to set up another meet. She told me once a week wouldn't work for her - we have agreed on seeing each other every 3-5 days. Still haven't made her cum... but came very close last time a few days ago using adapted missionary. Was frustrating because she was getting so close - moaning louder, squeezing harder and starting to shudder - but that turned me on so much that I'd then have to stop to hold it. I couldn't hold it anymore after a couple of times. This happened both rounds. She again told me she had a great time and we could not stop kissing each other afterwards - something she told me she had missed the most because "in long relationships you stop kissing. Sex became routine".

I want a second regular so I can have more regular sex to improve even faster. Note - use stops and starts to last longer on the first round. Could see HBTall more frequently but that's crossing into dangerous territory - once every 4-5 days is already more frequent than the once a week recommended for FWBs. Feel like someone is going to get hurt in the future. But then, part of me also feels she's going to be just fine. After all she did just get out of an 11 year relationship (which she didn't end) and is pretty well adjusted about it all things considered.

Build up more social value
Look into hosting parties. Have built a circle of pretty cool dudes who are all into this stuff so feel like I'll be able to make this work.

Just my two cents.
With last two girls I didn't really had the motivation to make them cum, so I changed the strategies. With one, I let her up, so she can move as she wants, and she could finish in this way. With the 2nd one, even if she had a great time, she didn't cum. So before sex, I slid one finger in, playing with her G sport and A spot for a few minutes. She was very aroused from that, and she could cum from PIV. It took even less time than the rounds where she didn't cum at all.

When she starts to moan louder, sometimes it s so fuckin hard to keep it, so I start counting my thrusts in her. I make some goals, like 50, 100, sometimes 500, and then repeat. It doesn't really take the pleasure from the act, since I find more enjoyable to dominate her. So it's a win-win. If I want to finish, I just stop counting sometimes.

Hope it gives you some ideas,
Alpha13SC

 

[Beam]

Cheers man! I'm seeing her tomorrow so I'm going to try that out and see how it goes.

 

[ElderPrice]

King, it sounds like you’re killing it and have improved a LOT. Keep it up! Try not to worry about the imperfections so much. Appreciate the progress you’ve made, keep working on your anxieties slowly but surely, and you’ll keep making progress.

 

[Beam]

King, it sounds like you’re killing it and have improved a LOT. Keep it up! Try not to worry about the imperfections so much. Appreciate the progress you’ve made, keep working on your anxieties slowly but surely, and you’ll keep making progress.

Cheers boss!

 

[Beam]

FR: Monday

Housemates birthday - we ended up going to a late night bar. Will detail one interaction in particular where I probably could have pulled. I made out and number closed instead and am tentative for Sunday.

Open:
Walking past, locked eyes with a sexy petite brunette looked at her confidently and said "hello. Who the hell are you?" with downwards, rapport breaking tonality. Had my arm around her within seconds, exchanging pleasantries.

Interaction:
The seductive open broke pretty quickly and we devolved into conversing about what we did pretty quickly. I've noticed this pattern. Strong open, hook, then devolve into boring convo which takes her out of the spell. One of my housemates came past, introducing herself and started talking me up to the girl at this point. The girls large friend came by as well - I introduced myself to her with a smile. Didn't notice at the time but her friend took my housemate aside and told her to give us some privacy. Absolute legend.

Sexualization/Roleplay/We frame
Talking about professions, I told her I was a male stripper. She got excited, then I told her no, actually I'm an engineer. But told her my dream was to become a stripper. She starts telling me that I should start practicing here. We go back and forth, I tell her I may give a show later, if she's lucky. And that I'll need to practice first. I excuse myself to the bathroom to "practice" and leave, with the intent of rengaging later.

Come back, dance with my friends for a while, we head to the smokers area. One the way out, run into her again, tell her that I practiced some moves. Roleplay about her being my manager who will provide funding for my burgeoning career. She says she needs to see the moves before I get the funding. At some point, my other housemate came by and started talking to her, introducing me "this is beam. He's lovely, such a nice guy. He'll treat you well". Cringe. I was dying inside, it was not socially tactful at all. The girl was like wtf, and so was I. Thankfully she left us together again pretty quickly after this. Went to the dance floor, danced together. A little clumsy, she tells me it's a bit corny but it's ok. Our faces press up right against each other - I am not going for a kiss, just attempting to build sexual tension.

Feel like I miss a window because after a while of this, she tells me she has to go back to her friend, who is sitting along. Thought I've blown it.

Dance with my friends, start getting in my head about how I blew it, how I can reengage. At some point, I spot them sitting elsewhere, pretend to walk past and then with a surprised tone say "hey!" and reengage, talking to both her and the friend. Her body language is cool at this point. Again, think I'm missed the windown and excuse myself. Run into her once more and give her a polite hello.

Makeout and number close

I'm tired (it's 2am at this point and I've got to work) so I leave with another mate, and spot her and her friend out of the street talking to the bouncers and waiting for a cab. I go up to her and call her name "XX, fancy seeing you out here". I scared her a bit - approach angle was off, from behind. But very quickly we are in each others arms talking about my routine. Me, still thinking I have blown it, am hesitant and get in my head - when she says "maybe we can work on it together sometime". At this point, it might have been possible to go for the pull? Her friend was still there though. But it was 2am and I was actually tired. Probably excuses though, I was getting a boner and it was pressed up against her so could have gone for it. I then said we will have to, another night. I tell her I'm going to get her number and pull out my phone.

She then starts asking me questions "before we do this, how old are you, are you over 25 (she looked late 20s, early 30s) ... do you have a job blah blah blah". I tell her I'm 29 and have a job and she's relieved. Number closed, then went in for a long heavy makeout. I made sure to end it.

Sent icebreaker, woke up in the morning to multiple messages apologizing and trying to confirm who I was (she must have met multiple guys that night) and a missed call, at 3am. Messaged confirming I was "Magic Mike", asked if she was free tomorrow, she said Sunday could work - we have tentatively locked in Sunday night. Will see how this goes.

 

[Beam]

I feel like I have broken through to a new level of self confidence and assurance that I have never quite had before. Case in point, over the weekend, was out with wings and were playing a game where we took turns approaching. He pointed a difficult set - two girls and five guys. Went over boldly and opened - one of the guys immediately asks how old I am. Get them to guess - "33! No, 28". Told them 27 just to lower it a bit and the guy who asked how old I was starts saying "Yeahh, you're done bro. It's over, too late". That would have crushed me just a few weeks ago even, but I was unfazed. Sucks to be so small minded, not realizing the power of being a man and appreciating value. Dude actually ended up complimenting me on my jacket in a "ok, that actually looks good" sort of way.

However, I get flashes of pretty bad insecurity in response to small fuckups on my part.. A complete personality change - feels like Smeagol/Gollum.

Case in point - HBTall - most of the time I'm not worried about losing her at all. Am even a lot more comfortable and confident with her in the bedroom now. But suddenly I might do something small, like make a small grammatical error in a text and she'll call me out on it - and because she has done it multiple times now, I suddenly get insecure (ah, she's so intelligent, every time I send a text with a mistake her attraction drops)

Another hot blonde I number closed on the weekend - most of the time since Friday I've been cool about it - she's hot and it would be nice to have sex with her, but I don't mind if I lose her or not. But then I send a text which I perceive as coming across slightly needy and then my mind goes into insecure overdrive - "have I fucked it up, will she respond". Then she responds..

Pattern is this - if I play the game perfectly and lose her (in other words, I have held up my end as best I possibly could and I lose her to factors out of my control) I don't get insecure. If I have said or done something dumb which causes me to lose her, I get extremely insecure very quickly. Healthier to develop an attitude of "woah, that was dumb. Why did I do that? How do I not repeat it?" instead of becoming insecure and depressed.

 

[Beam]

Updates:

Approach 8: It was only 1:30 but I got in my head and bailed. Walking home saw a black haired stunner walking the other direction. Passed, looped back. Opened direct “Saw you and thought “that girl is gorgeous” blah blah”. She told me “I know” with a smirk. But then “But really, what am I supposed to say to that”. Didn’t realize at the time but in retrospect this was a shittest. Went back and forth, commented on her black outfit, she said it was because she was a spy. I like this girl. I joked that I was a male stripper. Roleplayed and number closed after suggesting drinks at a rooftop near mine. She seems interested.

Went on a date with this one, still pretty but less attractive than I remembered. And didn't have much going on for her (still lived at home, no real hobbies etc) and so I was kind of bored. I actually didn't contact her after the date but 5 days later she reached out wanting to have a drink on the weekend - I declined for the weekend but thought why not - going out with her again tomorrow.

FR: Monday

Girl from my last main post - again - less attractive and older than I remembered but still pretty. Might have been the alcohol. Had the date with her just after spending 6 hours with HBTall, who has spoiled me with her beauty. After HBTall was all over me in bed just a few hours prior, I found it really hard to get excited about this chick. Kissed her, invited her home but clumsily since it was just going through the motions. She declined because it was a bit too fast for her. She seemed very hopeful for another date but honestly not feeling it that much and not sure if it's worth the effort of more dates.

 

[Alpha13SC]

I feel like I have broken through to a new level of self confidence and assurance that I have never quite had before. Case in point, over the weekend, was out with wings and were playing a game where we took turns approaching. He pointed a difficult set - two girls and five guys. Went over boldly and opened - one of the guys immediately asks how old I am. Get them to guess - "33! No, 28". Told them 27 just to lower it a bit and the guy who asked how old I was starts saying "Yeahh, you're done bro. It's over, too late". That would have crushed me just a few weeks ago even, but I was unfazed. Sucks to be so small minded, not realizing the power of being a man and appreciating value. Dude actually ended up complimenting me on my jacket in a "ok, that actually looks good" sort of way.

However, I get flashes of pretty bad insecurity in response to small fuckups on my part.. A complete personality change - feels like Smeagol/Gollum.

Case in point - HBTall - most of the time I'm not worried about losing her at all. Am even a lot more comfortable and confident with her in the bedroom now. But suddenly I might do something small, like make a small grammatical error in a text and she'll call me out on it - and because she has done it multiple times now, I suddenly get insecure (ah, she's so intelligent, every time I send a text with a mistake her attraction drops)

Another hot blonde I number closed on the weekend - most of the time since Friday I've been cool about it - she's hot and it would be nice to have sex with her, but I don't mind if I lose her or not. But then I send a text which I perceive as coming across slightly needy and then my mind goes into insecure overdrive - "have I fucked it up, will she respond". Then she responds..

Pattern is this - if I play the game perfectly and lose her (in other words, I have held up my end as best I possibly could and I lose her to factors out of my control) I don't get insecure. If I have said or done something dumb which causes me to lose her, I get extremely insecure very quickly. Healthier to develop an attitude of "woah, that was dumb. Why did I do that? How do I not repeat it?"

Gg for the approach on that group!

I see a pattern. Are you afraid of losing your sets? It's one thing to care and want to have a good outcome versus being afraid of losing her. If you're afraid of it, you'll lose it anyway. And if you do, so what? There are tons like her, and know you know what to not do next time.

From a point of vulnerability, you act fearful. From a place of strength you act fearless. Why a chick not responding to a text or saying something about your grammar it's such a big deal? Chances are that those attractions drops are in your head.

Regarding the grammar mistakes, well, IMH the best thing to do is to make fun of it like "look who I m dating. that silly teacher who ll give you bad grades for nothing haha". The 2nd best thing to do is to assume it and say "thank you. didn't know that. tell me again if I do one more mistakes. It's nice to have you around." and you can go to "it improve my text game to text other women haha" but this is risky.


Also, don't see health at all saying to yourself "woah, that was dumb". That's a negative self talk. Better would be "ok, I did this, and the output is this. why does dis happened dis way?"

All a game of perspectives.


Also, I'm curious if you tried the sex tech I posted before.

 

[Beam]

Gg for the approach on that group!

I see a pattern. Are you afraid of losing your sets? It's one thing to care and want to have a good outcome versus being afraid of losing her. If you're afraid of it, you'll lose it anyway. And if you do, so what? There are tons like her, and know you know what to not do next time.

I would say it's leaning towards a fear of loss. For HBTall, it's fear of losing a steady supply of sex. For the blonde, it's thinking "she looks so good, imagine how good kissing her/having sex with her would be".

In both cases, I am in a taking mindset as opposed to a giving mindset - "I want to give her a great sexual experience".

For this blonde in particular, she's actually one of the hottest girls I've number closed to date and the first with a particular look that I've wanted for a long long long time. Sort of like a young Denise Van Outen but even hotter. That's probably playing a part in the scarcity mindset. However, I do see girls who look like this not infrequently and they have shown interest in me in the past so it's helping with my attitude of knowing there are more like her. But still, this one is here, interested and texting. I can almost taste her and it's tantalizing.

From a point of vulnerability, you act fearful. From a place of strength you act fearless. Why a chick not responding to a text or saying something about your grammar it's such a big deal? Chances are that those attractions drops are in your head.

Regarding the grammar mistakes, well, IMH the best thing to do is to make fun of it like "look who I m dating. that silly teacher who ll give you bad grades for nothing haha". The 2nd best thing to do is to assume it and say "thank you. didn't know that. tell me again if I do one more mistakes. It's nice to have you around." and you can go to "it improve my text game to text other women haha" but this is risky.

I like it. I have told her I like when she calls me out on the mistakes. She was a teacher actually, lol

Also, don't see health at all saying to yourself "woah, that was dumb". That's a negative self talk. Better would be "ok, I did this, and the output is this. why does dis happened dis way?"

All a game of perspectives.

Wise words. Sometimes though, so much time goes between similar situations that I might make the same dumb mistake that I already made, but because it was so many months ago I forgot the proper way to respond, and I need to respond now because I won't get time later, and don't have time now to dig through my notes. Now that is frustrating. It's an organization problem partly too.

Also, I'm curious if you tried the sex tech I posted before.

I did my man! Unfortunately she is a tough nut to crack.

Just my two cents.
With last two girls I didn't really had the motivation to make them cum, so I changed the strategies. With one, I let her up, so she can move as she wants, and she could finish in this way. With the 2nd one, even if she had a great time, she didn't cum. So before sex, I slid one finger in, playing with her G sport and A spot for a few minutes. She was very aroused from that, and she could cum from PIV. It took even less time than the rounds where she didn't cum at all.

So, I had previously asked her what her favourite position was post sex- she loves being on top, so I let her on top, but most of the time she would get too sore and we'd have to stop. I usually also finger her prior as well as kiss her which gets her quite wet, before going in. Same issue.

When she starts to moan louder, sometimes it s so fuckin hard to keep it, so I start counting my thrusts in her. I make some goals, like 50, 100, sometimes 500, and then repeat. It doesn't really take the pleasure from the act, since I find more enjoyable to dominate her. So it's a win-win. If I want to finish, I just stop counting sometimes.

I did attempt to count but unfortunately didn't make it far HOWEVER, yesterday when I had sex with her, I was purely focused on dominating her and was having such a great time doing it that I didn't even think about cumming. I could have lasted forever. We ended up stopping after 20 minutes, and even though I still think she didn't cum, afterwards she looked extremely content and was all over me, letting me lie down to relax while she went to town kissing my face/neck/mouth.