Diary of an explorer

[ChrisXKiss]

Was pretty slow today, I stayed home in fact since my throat has been hurting since morning. I just hope I won't be worse waking up tomorrow.

Anyway i used this time I had to mostly text a numbers of girls I exchanged contacts with before taking my trip last week. As I said in my last post some seem to be quite promising for getting out, so we'll see.

I had talked about one for a date today already, but we rescheduled for Friday. She even thanked me for my flexibility so I think there is little probability of a flake. At least as long as I am well till then and I don't flake.

I also made about 12 approaches yesterday and took two numbers that felt good. One of the two was a girl that seemed to like me, and was mentioning during our interaction how I must be doing it a lot, going around taking numbers.

I remained pretty unfazed by it. Solid interaction generally, she was sitting at a bench, I approached while walking giving her a compliment about her whole vibe, then asked if she is single and when she said yes, I smoothly transitioned into sitting down next to her but not very close.

Maybe I could have been even closer not sure, but I think I felt she needed more comfort. We talked for a bit and I tried to inject some playfulness, we exchanged numbers and she left as she wanted to go home and I was waiting for a take away pizza to be made. She answered me later, today I sent a voice message proposing a date, and we'll see whether she will be up for it.

After this approach as I kept sitting at that bench I saw a young pretty girl passing in front of me. For a moment I really thought it was a lost cause, and almost let her go, but then I thought screw it, it's just an excuse because I think she will reject me due to my age.

I stood up, walked up to her, stopped her from the side and told her I saw her walking and she looked really lovely, so I wanted to talk to her. She told me that she is probably to young very fast, I asked her age, she said 21, I told her I am 27 and she seemed to be pretty fine with that.

Then she was in a hurry to go home and proposed herself we could have a drink another time, she wanted to give instagram, I told her I don't really use social media, and she gave me her number.

I asked her what she is up to around, she took it as me asking her when she is free and said she is travelling a lot these days and doesn't know when we could meet. It did feel honest though, she did look like she was thinking whether she knew a datethat could really work for her.

I thought it didn't make much sense to stay there and drill into her exact schedule, maybe was wrong not sure, but I didn't want to come off like I really wanted to plan a specific meeting then and there. I told her we can see how it works and life is life and let her go back home, before going to take my pizza.

The other approaches were mostly girls with boyfriends/husbands and a lot of them felt genuine. I also had few girls that disengaged the moment I started saying I saw them and I wanted to come and talk. Not sure how to keep these kind of girl that simply leave the moment you let them know why you stopped them, maybe by building more intrigue. But they are probably not the best options time wise anyway.

In other news I sent a voice message to the spanish girl from my lay report. Told her I am back, asked how she passed time with family, she had told me they were visiting here, and how her plans look for the next days. She answered quite enthusiastically in fact with emojis, telling if I just woke up, that she is free during the weekend, and asking what plans I have now.

I wanted to be more playful and sexual, so I told her that this was my natural sexy voice with a wink and tongue out, and then said I was planning to chill at home but if she has a suggestion, I am open to discuss

She laughed both with the sexy voice response of mine to her just woken up comment, and she also laughed at my bootycall misinterpretation, telling me she meant what I plan for the next days. I told her I'll be around for a bit at least, and I would have some time in the weekend free. And she texted we can meet then.

To be honest I am pretty surprised by how this is going, I was ready to not see her again after last time, but she does seem to really be into meeting for a second time. Not experienced at all in this scenario, so I have to see how to run this whole thing.

My idea is maybe to take her for some food in a relaxed place close to mine, have my sexy vibe on from the moment we meet, and eventually invite her home again. I know that getting to sex again is the important thing, but I feel that asking her to come straight home may be too much. I don't really cook, so i can't have an excuse for coming to cook together, that's why I am thinking of going somewhere outside and inviting her again.

I also wonder how the sexual experience will be this time and I do have a small fear of not performing well again, but I guess the important point is to reseduce her towards sex. For this reason I wonder whether I should just invite her home, and how to run this second after sex meeting exactly, so that it naturally leads to sex again.

Maybe I should just go for a invitation at home straight away, escalate early and then we could do something else after that. It's not that I want her as a girlfriend or anything, but I doubt how much she would be really down for sex again fast, since the last time didn't feel that satisfying.

Anyway, quite interesting how eagerly she has been responding till now after the first time we had sex, wasn't expecting it at all. I guess it's also a mix of me not having this experience either, so after sex I kinda feel it is over, and any kind of effort to meet again feels like a new stage of a different game.

This is something I should also work mentally on, since I really have situations, no matter how good or bad the sex was, that after I get it, I feel very small motivation to meet with the girl again. It feels like yeah, I had sex with this one, why go again and not focus on meeting another.

I guess for me getting to sex is the main thing, and I kinda don't know what to do after that. I keep approaching anyway, so I think I will simply go for meeting again and moving towards sex faster to see how it works.

I should work on some other mindsets as well. A lot of times I feel after sex if I have been trying so hard just for this? I at least have to remind myself that I am doing everything in order to get good with girls and eventually get the really beautiful ones that matter.

And during the more casual dating experiences, that being fully present and appreciating all aspects of the sexual interaction is a win in itself, since there is nothing more amazing than being with an attractive naked woman and freely exploring her body.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Today it's my one year anniversary being a skilled seducer member and I would like to focus on what happened during this period.

For some background, before coming to the forums I had been approaching inconsistently for a bit more than a year. I count as beginning point the first man to woman approach I made and not exercises like asking for time, or chatting cashiers and waitresses that I had been doing even earlier.

When I came here I was at the point that I had decided to take things really seriously. I had started approaching regularly for about 2 months and eventually I had an instant date with what I would consider a personal 10. At least back then, who knows how she would look to me now.

The way I fucked up this whole thing made me even more persistent and had me realise I needed some space to communicate about seduction if I wanted to improve. I came here and wrote that interaction as my first field report. I continued approaching throughout last summer, up until September and had few successes here and there.

I never really got into participating in the forums a lot. The main reason was I started having crazy sexual performance anxiety, almost prematurely ejaculating every time I was going for sex, so I wasn't even sure what to come and write about. I was in a dark place.

In fact I was even thinking whether I could enjoy normal sex again. I gradually starting approaching less and less, because I felt it was unfair to put girls through all that and then suck that much in bed. I even had a girl that opened every possible escalation window, was very hot and sexual, and I never moved forward afraid of disappointing her.

So all this led to about 5 months of very few approaches. I still did some here and there, and tried to plan some online dates, but generally I wasn't feeling it. I also thought I should focus on the job search, and used it as an excuse to minimize my approaching even more.

At least throughout this period something very good happened. I met a girl from online, she was in my city just for that night, and we had some really good sex. It restored some faith in my sexual abilities, and made me realise that it would be possible to enjoy sex again.

This was very important, because all these bad performances and the anxiety was truly haunting me, to the point that I wasn't sure why I should keep going in general. So after that point I at least felt relieved and focused on other things knowing I can get back to sexual interactions.

At some point as the months were passing, around April, something switched inside me. I don't remember if something specific happened, if I read or watched something that motivated me, but I suddenly felt like going out and approaching religiously.

I had been on and off, never really got as good as I would like, and I simply decided I wanted to make the main focus of my next few years to completely get it handled. For this reason I decided I wanted some accountability as well. I know for myself that when I register somewhere I have to be going to or when I have people that expect things from me I never want to let them down and always want to be there.

That's why I started this journal. I also had a very constructive discussion with Will_V under one of his posts and realised that if I want to get better I should start posting field reviews regularly.

That led to the situation I am at now, having been approaching regularly these last 3-4 months, and doing my best to improve.

In the end I'd say from this year as a member here, I had about half of it where I was approaching quite regularly, and the other half pretty sporadically.

Have I gotten better? And if so how much? Honestly these are questions that trouble me, since results wise, going purely by the number of women I had sex with, this year and the previous one are more or less similar.

So I feel I could be improving more. I of course have to take into account that I had a fairly long pause, so I believe that by keeping at it consistently I can see a lot of improvement this next year.

I also feel that if my life situation improves this following months, which I believe will happen, it can help in a way, for my inner game, knowing that things are a bit more on a good path generally in my life.

That said, there are things I feel that have been improved:

First of all I have almost none approach anxiety, I feel I still had some more left a year ago.

Secondly, I feel that my process for getting dates out of daygame has been getting good. I've had a bunch of them lately, also have some more planned, and this was something I was struggling a lot last year, with number going nowhere and any date feeling like a huge win.

Thirdly I think that my vibe in the interactions is getting generally better, I feel more relaxed and confident after all these approaches. Still a lot of work to do, but I believe there is improvement and I can go up to hot girls way more naturally.

Fourthly, I do think I'm recognising signs even better now. I mean mainly during the interactions the signs that she doesn't want to talk at all or she is just nervous, and that she may be interested and ready for the pull.

Fifthly, I've learned to let go when the girl is not receptive, and also to make invites more naturally when she is. I have invited a lot more girls to my place, so I at least feel that taking this lead is something that has improved.

Sixthly, my dates are getting better. I have been finding some good posts around my place, and with the help of everyone commenting on my field reports I feel I'm achieving small improvements every time.

Lastly, I do feel I am adopting better mindsets and practices simply by osmosis of being around here. From the smallest technique to the most general outlook, I feel it's helping me on how to approach seduction effectively. I had been trying for some time to find a community that could align with how I view things regarding women and where I'd like to get, and I truly believe that that this place is exactly that.

So I don't know, sometimes I may be a little harsh with myself because I really want to get this solved, get good and have the women I want. I may feel I've wasted time as well, and I have to improve as fast as I can. However, I am positive for the future, I mean I am here, I know this has a lot of emphasis in my life, and I know I will keep going.

I know that at some point in the future I will possibly desire a family, so I know that more than anything I want to be able to have a choice when I reach that point. And I will get there.

On to another exciting year.

PS.

Didn't mention it in the improvements but I have stopped porn for about 6 months now. Won't get into my history with it, but it's something pretty important for me that I have managed to stay away, even though I am not sleeping with women regularly.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I'm so frustrated really. Forget all the approach rejections, numbers that don't respond or others that just tell me they are not interested. I had to cancel two dates today due to my infection, and I feel my date on Sunday with the Spanish girl I slept 2 weeks ago will also be cancelled.

The thing is I only have some throat ache when I swallow, and extremely low grade almost non-existent fever. But it has been persistent for some days, so after getting a negative covid test my doctor told me to take antibiotics.

And I am very sensitive about this stuff, I guess I didn't want to meet these girls because I would constantly be thinking if I would transmit something to them. What happened with the Sunday date is that I felt that ok I will probably be better by then so I can just do it.

Then the spanish girl texted today that she wants to invite me to her place and cook, and I said it was a good idea and agreed. Then she asked if there is something I don't eat and I realised that I am in antibiotics so yes there is a bunch of stuff I shouldn't eat.

So the most non-seductive text ever happened next with me telling her I've been taking antibiotics and giving a bunch of foods I had better not eat, and also told her I realised now why I never proposed food myself and only drinks for Sunday, since it would be too complicated.

And I don't really know, a part of me even wants this date to not happen, because we will get close and I don't want to transmit something as I said, but another part feels like I will be better by then and it will be fine.

But I think I messed up the whole communication, and felt like I didn't even care to tell her I was mildly sick.

Anyway this health stuff is the most frustrating for me by far, when I lose dates for some cold, flu or whatever similar, especially when it is something very mild but still makes me feel I shouldn't get very close to others.

Good thing is both of the girls I cancelled the dates with seemed open to reschedule next week. I also got some other numbers yesterday as I was walking around looking for a pharmacy, so maybe some of them will work out.

But I just feel bad, because the fact that this spanish girl invited me to her place to cook for me was something I was not expecting and was kinda happy that she wanted to see me again.

Anyway, I will keep approaching and going forward, maybe some of these girls I will meet again. That said I won't lie these last days were a pain, because even for the approaches I was doing I had in mind that I was sick, so I was taking numbers fairly quickly, without trying for instant dates or pulls, and this restrictive feeling is not good at all.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I am slowly getting back at it. Spent the weekend inside since my infection starting worsening, so I think it really was a good idea to start the antibiotics. I also cancelled the Sunday date both due to that and because I had an interview this morning and wanted to focus on it.

That's what I told her in fact. I sent a voice message explaining that I feel I won't be fully there, and may have to leave early, so it's better to do it another time, when we can be fully present with each other. She understood, that said whether we will meet again or not, who knows, I'll contact her back today or tomorrow, but I have honestly accepted any outcome in my mind.

The thing is though that these 2-3 days of cancelling dates and staying mostly at home brought me down a bit. I mean whenever this happens for some reason I start feeling quite needy, that I want to approach and get girls, and it's not a good vibe to have.

Went out again today and I was very off. I only managed to take the number of a 51 year old, and then I had a bunch of getting ignored, getting rejected instantly, getting told they have boyfriends, husbands, or they just don't want to give me their number when asked.

By far the most frustrating though is when I approach a woman and I get this vibe from her of: Oh it's so cute you approached, so brave of you to think you have a chance with me. I just feel that there are times during the approach that I get treated as a cute harmless boy, and not seen as a man that could potentially be sexual with them.

And I have tried to approach more dominant and confident, but then I think a lot of times I go too far and it looks weird or creepy. I am struggling to find the balance between being nice enough on the approach that I let them drop their defences, and being masculine enough that I get them excited.

I am pretty sure I have mentioned that before, and I am trying to find the correct body language, facial expressions, eye contact, but I feel that a lot of times it comes off artificial. For example I am trying to time a smile after the compliment to make it feel genuine, but instead I think I step into uncanny valley territory, where something just feels very off.

And I have a feeling that I come off like that generally, not only cold approaching. I think my default state is a pretty disengaged one seeming like I don't really care much about anyone or what's happening, so whenever I try to interact, show interest, be playful it just feels off in a way.

Not sure what to do about that. Approaching it fully technically, like trying to find the correct thing to say, the correct way to smile, the correct way to stand and touch does not seem to work, so I know it has to get deeper, I am just not sure what to exactly change.

Maybe I need some purpose and some general excitement in my life, in order to come off as more lively naturally. Because I am too focused lately on doing things right to get sex, that I am probably not even letting myself enjoy it enough. Every approach, interaction, date feels like another test I have to perform well.

And I am sure I will get better by going at it and checking what to improve, the thing though is maybe it's not just technical things that need improvement? That's the question I'm asking to myself, wondering if I should change my mindset a bit. My only fear is that if I go that way I won't really be pushing for the close enough, and I would be just having fun interactions that lead to nothing.

I guess my whole life I got sex only when I clearly pursued it and it never came naturally to me in any way, but maybe this whole vibe of going out each day and feeling like I have to work hard to get girls is not helpful for real success in the end.

Anyway, I am not exactly sure, if anyone who reads this has any comment, it's more than welcome. I will keep approaching and improving, I will see how I can technically do things better, and at the same time I will focus on being present with my sexual energy in order to transfer that to the woman, and make the whole interaction more naturally seductive.

In other news I have a date tonight, not close to my place so I am going kinda not expecting much, but I figured it's better to do it to get the ball rolling a bit. Because I do feel that I've kinda lost my mojo these last days.

 

[Curwen]

Nice work getting out there, even it was a bit rough

I am pretty sure I have mentioned that before, and I am trying to find the correct body language, facial expressions, eye contact, but I feel that a lot of times it comes off artificial. For example I am trying to time a smile after the compliment to make it feel genuine, but instead I think I step into uncanny valley territory, where something just feels very off.

I feel you on this one! Sometimes it’s hard to strike the balance between doing the right moves and being authentic.

What about the girls you approached? Did they light a spark inside you? I find that having an authentic and charged man-to-woman interaction happens way easier if there’s something special about the girl, that something extra… of course those are rare compared to the just-technically-hot girls

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Thanks!

What about the girls you approached? Did they light a spark inside you? I find that having an authentic and charged man-to-woman interaction happens way easier if there’s something special about the girl, that something extra… of course those are rare compared to the just-technically-hot girls

To be honest, after a lot of approaches I have reached the point that most women don't really light that spark. I still approach because I do find a lot of girls cute or hot, that said a bunch of them do feel very similar to each other.

I do also meet some that I feel more intensely about right away, but with most of them it rarely goes somewhere. And I don't mean no sex, I mean no dates or prolonged interactions either. Probably because my vibe when I really like a girl changes to some kind of: wow, this one is really something, and my approach comes off as needy through my expressions, voice, body language.

In the end though I feel that it's really about being in the right state physically and mentally. If it's a street approach specifically there is a very short window for the girl to assess you. So you really need to be at your best presence wise to make an impression to the most attractive of them.

Of course it's still good to just approach no matter how you feel, since you never know who you'll meet and when, some girls will just like you for whatever reason. That said I do want to get my vibe down with more consistency, it will help to get attuned to the woman in a deeper level.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I am in a pretty strange state.

First of all this day has been interestingly weird messaging wise, since basically none of the women I texted answered. Neither more recent approaches nor girls I already had dates with but cancelled last week, and contacted to reschedule. I feel that some of them may respond eventually, it is a bit shame if I lose the ones I had already planned to go out like that, but that's life. It was just fascinating to me that this happened today to add to my already weird feeling.

Another thing that happened yesterday is I had a date that basically led nowhere. I mean it couldn't really since she told me when she came, that she had plans to go meet her sister visiting her about an hour later. So we had a drink for this hour at the bar, and I was honestly not sure how to approach it.

I mean if I know there is a possibility to pull I have an idea which direction to take, but it's just an informational date like this I don't really know how deep to get, how sexual, and what frames to set exactly. What I did was chat with her, without much sexuality though. I do feel I was free and getting to topics that I was feeling like, it's just that I was getting a very reserved and restrained vibe from her.

Imagine that when I went for the initial hug the moment we met, she was very cold and basically didn't even fully hug, so I gave her some space. Then we sat opposite each other, and during the conversation she was giving me these smiles that felt real, but there was something strange about them, like she was still restraining them as I said, or they were taking a bit too long to form after the message was received by her brain.

She was a nice girl, nothing really bad, but nothing particularly interesting either. Cute but not much more than that looks wise, and personality wise she didn't give me much. She was the kind of person that was working a lot and when I went to hobbies, she told me some sports, different ones. She was Russian, so did have quite a cold exterior let's say, but the thing is no matter how much I gave it a go I didn't manage to get something out of her that would make me go ah that's exciting.

So she is not a girl I would try to invest more time in. The only thing is I never turned it sexual or about relationships much as I said, because I wasn't sure how to navigate in an 1-hour date without pull possibility. It could be possible that she is very sexual deep down, and we would have a good time, but she did give vibes of a girl that moves very slow and doesn't like physical contact until she really gets to know the other person. I didn't even go for any kind of physical contact at the end of the date, since she was giving me the feeling of still being pretty reserved, staying at a distance from me.

Anyway, I think it's at least good that I'm reaching a point where we go out with some girls and it feels like it doesn't click to me. I am not just going for any girl, but I feel I'm starting to form some preferences, and if I don't feel the vibe with one, I will not pursue it further. It creates a better sense of abundance as well.

After the date I did some approaches downtown, not much success, many groups of two tourists, and a lot of them in relationships. I did manage to get the number of one girl though, in fact she proposed that I walked around the city with her, but at that moment it felt too random to me, I was not even in the mood of some instant date/pull situation. I am still taking some medication and yesterday was the first day I was feeling quite better, but towards the night I started feeling tired, so I passed the walking offer.

What interesting is that after that I asked for her number to meet another time and went to take a photo of her number from her phone to put it in mine later, since I was bored to write it down at that moment, she saw that and immediately offered to write it down herself, then texted herself from my phone to have my number, and even told me to tell her how my name is written exactly, which I texted to her later.

In general what I mean is that she looked extremely eager to meet again, and it surprised me that today she opened my voice message and did not respond. We'll see maybe it will work out. The only thing is that if she really likes me a lot I'm not sure how I can go for something casual, I'm always worried when a woman shows such signs that she may be too interested and want a relationship. I guess I can just do my best to set correct frames if you meet.

Tomorrow I have another date, and this girl looks pretty into me, let's see whether I'll manage to get something out of it. I feel I've lost momentum a bit after the trip and getting sick, but I'll go and aim for the best result.

Last but not least, basically that the most important thing in my life right now, I finally got a job offer. Or let's say an internship offer with low pay, but at least I will be covering rent, food and all everyday things, so it will give me some more financial comfort than the one I have now. And I have been trying to find some kind of job for months, so eventually succeeding, even for a 6-month temporary trainee position is some really good news.

So the question is why it makes me feel so strange and not any more happy or any more like a winner? I feel the answer is that I got too used to not really working these last years, since i also took a break after studies, before I got into the job market, and my whole life will change suddenly from next week. I don't know how ready I am, the field I will be working in is not one I have much experience in, but I was transitioning from some very theoretical studies anyway, so I needed to begin from somewhere.

It's also the fact that I am not sure how much I will like it, and I feel I don't want this to be the thing I will be doing forever. But at least it will help me get experience and build some skills for the job market, and through that I can move on with my life step by step, and focus on getting where I would love to be in longer term. Having some way to pay the bills was the thing I needed first anyway, so although I am still kinda realising that I will have to go to work in a week, it will be my chance to get my life more in order.

I will have to see how it goes time wise and how things will work, it feels a bit overwhelming after all this time to get in such a daily schedule, interacting with different teams, producing results, I may be a bit overwhelmed at first, but I will get to it.

Objectively as I said this is very good news for the experience, the money, the ability to stay in the country I am more, so I feel I will catch up emotionally soon after I start. It just that right now it feels a bit like I am still comprehending what has happened. It is a step out of my comfort zone though, I have never worked outside of academia, so I will go through it and grow.

To close with a more positive note, it can't really get worse than what I had these latest months lifestyle wise. I was saving a lot, staying away from social functions and in a constant state of uncertainty about my future. My life was mostly about seduction, and now I feel I can focus on something else as well and maybe come across better, as my time will naturally be more scarce. So let's see, a new chapter for my life, and only good things it can bring.

 

[Higher]

basically none of the women I texted answered

I feel I'm starting to form some preferences

It creates a better sense of abundance as well.

My life was mostly about seduction, and now I feel I can focus on something else as well and maybe come across better

Man, feels like im reading my own journal.

Congrats on the job offer. Good that ure taking it even if its a different thing - exactly for the reason u mention.

Lately ive been focusing too much on seduction too, without much to show for. Im constantly trying out new stuff, but nothing is getting back as of yet.

Sometimes it feels like the more effort i put in game, the less results i get and the less of a "winner" i feel. Clearly an illusion tho - i naturally approach way more when i focus on game, and get more exposure to "small losses" due to asymmetric returns. Were i not to focus on game, id still approach the occasional ioi-giving green girl, and id feel more like a winner.

This is probably the way to go, and im glad i finally found a few projects that im interested enough in that will distract me from this whole seduction thing a bit.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Man, feels like im reading my own journal.

Congrats on the job offer. Good that ure taking it even if its a different thing - exactly for the reason u mention.

Lately ive been focusing too much on seduction too, without much to show for. Im constantly trying out new stuff, but nothing is getting back as of yet.

Sometimes it feels like the more effort i put in game, the less results i get and the less of a "winner" i feel. Clearly an illusion tho - i naturally approach way more when i focus on game, and get more exposure to "small losses" due to asymmetric returns. Were i not to focus on game, id still approach the occasional ioi-giving green girl, and id feel more like a winner.

This is probably the way to go, and im glad i finally found a few projects that im interested enough in that will distract me from this whole seduction thing a bit.

Thanks man! I am changing fields anyway, so anything I could find would be new and different, that said this position seems quite good since it will help me build some programming skills in a business environment. And I mostly want to build skills and expertise in things that can make money these next years and then more or less figure out how to use them. I've been thinking that I'd like to work for myself eventually, but then I realised I have to first get good at some things that have practical application.

And yeah as you focus you do improve, that said I do believe that after a point having other things to balance your life helps a lot. My plan is to still focus on women though. Will have to see how I can manage my time with work, approaches, dates, social functions, side projects etc. But it's not that right now I'm approaching all day everyday anyway, so I'm sure I can manage it.

I feel that having something that naturally keeps you busy and you want to do well with, while also working on seduction with intent can make it even more powerful. So I believe only the best is ahead of us.

Yeah I decided few years ago to change fields anyway, so I have accepted that I have to start from 0 more or less. Wasn't an easy transition, I had a bunch of ego involved

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Just came back from a date. I think it's the weirdest feeling I've had after the date, because by the end of it I had zoned out completely, while I think the girl is still interested.

The thing is we had a nice discussion, but after a point there was no progression. From the beginning till the end she was feeling closed off physically, her hands crossed in front of her when we were walking and standing, sitting opposite me at the bar, giving the same exact hug when we met and when we parted ways.

It's probably partly my fault as well, not making it more sexual and setting better frames, that said I really wasn't able to feel it after a while. I had a good feeling when we met, I was also hard, then gradually by the end I was even bored. It's this feeling when you connect with a person, but she is a woman, and since you don't feel the sexual connection or tension in the air at all, it just feels like there is no point.

And in the end she told me see you next time with a genuine smile, so she really felt that it was good. And I think this pains me more, at least when I push hard for a kiss or a pull and get rejected I know the girl doesn't want to see me again and I am fine with it. Now that I went with her pace and did not push hard, because she wasn't giving me any opening, she felt that all was good and liked it, but I am the one that feels it will be wasted time to keep going with her.

An I did propose a pull, I did move to a second location, nothing changed vibe wise. I am thinking that I should have used stronger frames regarding me liking being single. I even talked about going with the flow, experiencing life, following your feeling, living in the moment, and she even agreed to all that.

she was also mentioning them in the end herself after having rejected the pull twice, having told me she has to go home because she works early, and was still walking at some distance from me with her arms crossed. And I was thinking what are you even talking about when you clearly want to take this extremely slow.

It really makes me feel that going for an uncalibrated kiss or escalation would be better, because I am really sad now that I will probably not meet with her while she expects us too. I don't even know if I have to say something or just not text. I don't like the second, that said it feels harsh to me to simply tell her it was a nice discussion but I didn't feel a sexual spark.

I guess you can always say I could go to a second date and see, maybe things will progress, maybe at some point we will have sex, but going through all that for the sex, when I don't feel like committing seems a lot. I wouldn't mind seeing her again as two people who enjoy each other sexually and may or may not have something more regular, but in this scenario I am now seems pointless.

Because I honestly have 2-3 more dates planned for the next days already, and I even have girls I am not texting to propose dates, because I am not sure when to fit them at this point. So any extra time spent in dates with girls where things go slowly just seems wasted.

Anyway I just liked it way more when I was pushy and girls just never wanted to see me again, compared to being attuned to her boundaries like now, and having her want to see me again although no sexual spark was felt from my side.

I guess if she really pushed for another meeting and made it extremely easy for me, I could take it, but planning it and having it take the evening from another girl doesn't feel like something I would want would care much to do.

At least in the end I feel I didn't lie to her, I went with the flow and after a point there was no flow going somewhere.

PS Thinking about it more calmly, I feel it was just the kind of situation that wasn't awful but I will just forget to come back to due to other options. I should be setting the right frames earlier to not get interactions like that. It's just that I have been struggling with how to communicate that I am not looking for a relationship but for mindful sexual connections effectively.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Fascinating. She sent me a text this morning thanking me, telling me she enjoyed the conversation, but she doesn't feel the connection to go to further dates. Which is in line with what I felt.

This makes me think something else though, that I probably didn't handle the whole thing as well as I could. I did say I zoned out in the end, and she seemed closed to me, so I didn't make any moves.

Basically after a point of talking, walking around and standing I started feeling bored. She wasn't coming back to my place, and I wasn't seeing any signs of her wanting more from her body language and distance, so I naturally became more disinterested.

I'm thinking now that maybe I should have taken her closer to me, touched more, maybe escalated for a kiss at some random point. I suppose I got the feeling that she wasn't in that state, so it would just be another uncalibrated attempt for a kiss going nowhere.

But looking at it now, maybe I should be going for whatever I have, whenever I can. I mean we didn't end up together like this anyway, and the whole date stayed bland, so it would be better to just make a move and see what happens.

I feel I had in mind the past experiences of going for a kiss in such scenarios and having it get rejected, and in general the girl not coming home eventually, so at some point last night my whole vibe transitioned to: it's just not worth it.

In the end I do still feel, that I should set stronger frames, and regarding making moves, I'll go back to escalating even if it is uncalibrated. It seems that my experience of something happening either on the first date or never continues, so it's just better to go all in from the first one, and if she resists, just write her off mentally.

Maybe it's also just how different people vibe together though. I mean should I be going for sex with any woman I go out to no matter how the interaction feels? You could argue I could take charge of the feeling and lead it somewhere, that said is it just worth it to go after that all the time, especially when the girl is not someone you would be crazy to see more?

I guess moving towards making things sexual never hurts, worst case scenario you get shut down. And if you don't do it, you surely won't have any sex, so I feel it is better to simply go for escalation every time, no matter how it feels, and see what happens.

To close all this, what is interesting is that I realise that whenever I clearly felt I wasn't enjoying the interaction much or wasn't that interested for whatever reason, most girls felt the same and even told me that first. Which is funny because I always had this fear that I will have to be making girls sad if I don't like them, but I guess they feel the vibe. Rarely I have been out with a girl that seemed to really want to see me again, although I wasn't showing many signs of interest or excitement.

It could be a way to protect themselves as well. They autoreject when they don't feel the energy from you, so that you won't have the chance to reject them yourself. And I am fine with that. I guess I don't do it as a guy, and no matter how bad an interaction goes, if I find her hot and want to see her again I'll keep in touch until I get 3 texts of absolute silence.

Women are quite more sensitive to rejection as it seems, so they would never go to such lengths of persisting with a guy that doesn't feel them that much. Which is nice, because it takes a load from my back, and I know that if there is no vibe there, the girl will stop it herself, and I won't need to be worrying about how to bring it up to her.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I've been looking back at some of my latest field reports and the comments I got, wasn't motivated enough to write one for this date honestly.

What I have figured out is that the main thing lacking when the date goes south is the framing of a sexual experience, that is not going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I feel I am not showing exactly what I want in an effective way, that's why towards the end if things seem to not be working for a pull home, I am just losing the excitement.

Because I know, that if I try to connect more and get closer to the girl, she will take these as signs of a potential relationship, which I am not going for. I wouldn't mind spending some more time in a second venue, chilling and coming closer, if I had the right frames set that I am not looking for something exclusive and long term really.

The thing is though I don't want to be parading these things in front of the girl during the date, as I am afraid she will autoreject. The subtle framing I am trying doesn't seem to really land, and I am thinking that my general vibe, energy and how I come off is the main factor.

So the first thing to keep in mind, is to embody the masculine sexual man that will ignite her desire. The second one is to set the right frames, get into sex talk, and not let it hang that this is going for a serious relationship.

Having these I feel I will be able to go for the pull at the end of the first location of the date. This is how I have gotten my pulls, when I have succeeded anyway.

Then if the vibe for the pull is not there, I don't need to panic, I have set the frames I want, so I can simply move her somewhere else, and connect more, get closer until I go for the pull again.

I feel that even yesterday, if I didn't feel that any effort to bring us closer would be taking us towards a relationship, I would have spent more time with her being excited and connecting . So it's crucial to manage to set the right frames from the beginning, in order to be able to fully give myself to her by the end, without fear of misinterpretation.

And of course for that to work well I have to be making her feel excited to be with me through my presence. That's something I didn't do successfully yesterday, and in general no matter the situation, I should be focused on being sexual and moving things there, because this the essence of what I want to enjoy with every woman.

At least this girl was not one that I was that much into, so losing her to get these lessons is not something that hurts a lot.

I'll keep moving.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Ι want to be expressing everything here so I will be brutally honest about this as well. I've had lows, but this was by far the lowest I have gotten, and even danger wise.

To take it from the beginning, I went out to do some nightime street game after quite some time in the city centre. I was not feeling in the mood really, but said I would go for the habit.

Most approaches did not land at all, I think I have been very off these last days. I was either getting polite one minute talks, or instant rejections/ignoring. I tried some techniques of opening a moving girl that doesn't stop, like telling them I am safe with a smile, and I noticed something really interesting about them I had to say, but with the vibe I had it was a big mess, and I feel I cam off akward or even creepy.

Anyway, I sat at a bench to collect my thoughts for few minutes and started walking again, this time feeling quite more relaxed and grounded. I managed to get a number, although the girl is leaving tomorrow, and I had a pretty long nice interaction with a hot black girl in front of her friend, without her giving her number in the end, she was insisting to take mine and I just refused.

Anyway things were looking a bit better vibe wise, so I decided to be a bit more persistent as well. That's about when I saw a short girl coming towards me, and crossing the street to the other side. I waved and told her excuse me but she kept walking.

I ran a bit to cross the street and told her excuse me again, and that I saw her crossing the street and she looked really interesting. I think she stopped for a second and kept walking, so I wasn't sure if she even spoke english or not. I asked her and she was like I'm not interested.

I asked her interested in what, I haven't said anything yet, she was like no,no,no, and I decided to give it a last effort and go for the intrigue, telling her that I wanted to tell her something really interesting about her. Around that time she started calling someone on the phone and talking. And also another guy from afar came close and pretended to be her boyfriend.

I saw them leaving, and I shouldn't have, but I went up to the guy, to tell him that all this is a big misunderstanding and I didn't do anything to her. At that time two other guys, I think one was her brother, came furiously searching for me and started pushing me around telling me what I am doing harassing underaged girls.

I told them I talked to her for about 10 seconds, which was true more or less, and that I didn't know she was underaged, and only wanted to finish what I was going to say to her before she left. Anyway they were not understanding and kept threatening me, and telling me to run away, while the girl had already left.

I told them they have no right to tell me where to go, I didn't do anything to the girl, and if I want to stay in this street I will. One of them, taller and way more muscular than me started pushing me telling me to go now. I told him I don't want to fight I can stay here, and if they want they can go.

He started kicking me on the legs and throwing me down, I was coming up and he was pushing more, from time to time the other guy would come as well. I wasn't fighting back because firstly I know how dangerous a real fight is, and secondly because there is no way I would have ever beaten this guy.

Anyway I was staying there, and honestly I didn't mind, I think I am stubborn enough that I could have still stayed there till now, with him beating me around, and me coming back up. The problem is at some point he took out a phone and was saying that he would take a video of my face and put it on social media saying I am a harasser of underaged girls, if I don't leave.

I turned around so he couldn't take video of my face, and he was like you will either run away or we will take the video. So they jumped on me together with the other guy, one was trying to hold me down, and the other to take a video of me, I did manage to have my face covered with my hands though, so I don't think they got any image.

After that they kept pushing me, and I started walking away, since I thought that no matter how I feel about it, if it goes online it will be bad, and since I've done my fair number of approaches around, with some not being extremely calibrated, I was really afraid of the risk.

They were shouting stuff at me that this is their city, and I can do nothing to them here, I started clapping, showed them a middle finger and in the end I think I turned around one last time from quite far away, and we exchanged some not very nice parting words.

Few minutes after that I called the police and told them what happened, I honestly didn't remember the number of the police here, had to ask another guy. They told me I have to go to the station tomorrow to make a report if I want to, the thing is though I don't know their names, and don't have any pictures of them, so not sure if there is a point.

At that point I started feeling the pain in one hand and the other arm from the falls to the ground. I walked a bit more, I think I approached two more girls that didn't go anywhere. In fact the second one was like not again, and her friend told me it's the tenth time someone tries to stop her in the street tonight. I told her I have one question, how she recognises the real guy from the fake one. Funny thing is stopped for a second to think and answer, but I feel she realised I managed to have her stop and talk to me, and immediately starting walking fast with her friend, telling me they are all fake. I think I said something like wow what a generalisation, noone is good, and let them leave.

Regarding the 10 street stops that night she mentioned, I believe she exaggerated it, but there surely is some truth to it. A lot of these girls both during the day and especially during the night are extremely closed off to cold approach no matter how you do it. The moment you go to stop them is like no, no, no, and even more in the main locations of the city, where I know that most local pick up guys go to approach regularly.

My approach to all that till now has been trying to find techniques to turn initial reds from street game to at least yellows, but now I feel that unless I am in very good state there is no point really going for that. And even then maybe I should start giving up a bit earlier and stop trying 2-3 times to feel that I did my best and persisted enough.

All in all, the primary thing I hope is that they didn't take a good video of me they can upload. I don't think they did, but who knows. Apart from that I should stop being so stubborn if I may say it like that. I should have left when they were shouting aggressively towards me in the beginning, and not stay and try to support my point of view, it was just dump in front of furious ready to fight people.

Arm and hand still hurting, and it really isn't worth it, with a bunch of dates and a new job coming for me. I recognised that fighting was not worth it, but for some stupid reason I felt that getting beaten up but staying there was worth it.

To close all this, I just want to say a big sorry to all the community, because I am the last person that wants to make a bad name for cold approachers. I never have the intention to harm a girl, and even when it gets uncalibrated, the worst thing I do is coming across as creepy or weird, but I've never physically or even verbally harassed anyone. Maybe I have persisted a bit more on talking to the girls than I should, and it's something I have in mind to be toning down when the girl is initially closed off. I should also be taking breaks faster in field, when I feel myself off and I am having weird vibes and being uncalibrated.

 

[Will_V]

Ι want to be expressing everything here so I will be brutally honest about this as well. I've had lows, but this was by far the lowest I have gotten, and even danger wise.

To take it from the beginning, I went out to do some nightime street game after quite some time in the city centre. I was not feeling in the mood really, but said I would go for the habit.

Most approaches did not land at all, I think I have been very off these last days. I was either getting polite one minute talks, or instant rejections/ignoring. I tried some techniques of opening a moving girl that doesn't stop, like telling them I am safe with a smile, and I noticed something really interesting about them I had to say, but with the vibe I had it was a big mess, and I feel I cam off akward or even creepy.

Anyway, I sat at a bench to collect my thoughts for few minutes and started walking again, this time feeling quite more relaxed and grounded. I managed to get a number, although the girl is leaving tomorrow, and I had a pretty long nice interaction with a hot black girl in front of her friend, without her giving her number in the end, she was insisting to take mine and I just refused.

Anyway things were looking a bit better vibe wise, so I decided to be a bit more persistent as well. That's about when I saw a short girl coming towards me, and crossing the street to the other side. I waved and told her excuse me but she kept walking.

I ran a bit to cross the street and told her excuse me again, and that I saw her crossing the street and she looked really interesting. I think she stopped for a second and kept walking, so I wasn't sure if she even spoke english or not. I asked her and she was like I'm not interested.

I asked her interested in what, I haven't said anything yet, she was like no,no,no, and I decided to give it a last effort and go for the intrigue, telling her that I wanted to tell her something really interesting about her. Around that time she started calling someone on the phone and talking. And also another guy from afar came close and pretended to be her boyfriend.

I saw them leaving, and I shouldn't have, but I went up to the guy, to tell him that all this is a big misunderstanding and I didn't do anything to her. At that time two other guys, I think one was her brother, came furiously searching for me and started pushing me around telling me what I am doing harassing underaged girls.

I told them I talked to her for about 10 seconds, which was true more or less, and that I didn't know she was underaged, and only wanted to finish what I was going to say to her before she left. Anyway they were not understanding and kept threatening me, and telling me to run away, while the girl had already left.

I told them they have no right to tell me where to go, I didn't do anything to the girl, and if I want to stay in this street I will. One of them, taller and way more muscular than me started pushing me telling me to go now. I told him I don't want to fight I can stay here, and if they want they can go.

He started kicking me on the legs and throwing me down, I was coming up and he was pushing more, from time to time the other guy would come as well. I wasn't fighting back because firstly I know how dangerous a real fight is, and secondly because there is no way I would have ever beaten this guy.

Anyway I was staying there, and honestly I didn't mind, I think I am stubborn enough that I could have still stayed there till now, with him beating me around, and me coming back up. The problem is at some point he took out a phone and was saying that he would take a video of my face and put it on social media saying I am a harasser of underaged girls, if I don't leave.

I turned around so he couldn't take video of my face, and he was like you will either run away or we will take the video. So they jumped on me together with the other guy, one was trying to hold me down, and the other to take a video of me, I did manage to have my face covered with my hands though, so I don't think they got any image.

After that they kept pushing me, and I started walking away, since I thought that no matter how I feel about it, if it goes online it will be bad, and since I've done my fair number of approaches around, with some not being extremely calibrated, I was really afraid of the risk.

They were shouting stuff at me that this is their city, and I can do nothing to them here, I started clapping, showed them a middle finger and in the end I think I turned around one last time from quite far away, and we exchanged some not very nice parting words.

Few minutes after that I called the police and told them what happened, I honestly didn't remember the number of the police here, had to ask another guy. They told me I have to go to the station tomorrow to make a report if I want to, the thing is though I don't know their names, and don't have any pictures of them, so not sure if there is a point.

At that point I started feeling the pain in one hand and the other arm from the falls to the ground. I walked a bit more, I think I approached two more girls that didn't go anywhere. In fact the second one was like not again, and her friend told me it's the tenth time someone tries to stop her in the street tonight. I told her I have one question, how she recognises the real guy from the fake one. Funny thing is stopped for a second to think and answer, but I feel she realised I managed to have her stop and talk to me, and immediately starting walking fast with her friend, telling me they are all fake. I think I said something like wow what a generalisation, noone is good, and let them leave.

Regarding the 10 street stops that night she mentioned, I believe she exaggerated it, but there surely is some truth to it. A lot of these girls both during the day and especially during the night are extremely closed off to cold approach no matter how you do it. The moment you go to stop them is like no, no, no, and even more in the main locations of the city, where I know that most local pick up guys go to approach regularly.

My approach to all that till now has been trying to find techniques to turn initial reds from street game to at least yellows, but now I feel that unless I am in very good state there is no point really going for that. And even then maybe I should start giving up a bit earlier and stop trying 2-3 times to feel that I did my best and persisted enough.

All in all, the primary thing I hope is that they didn't take a good video of me they can upload. I don't think they did, but who knows. Apart from that I should stop being so stubborn if I may say it like that. I should have left when they were shouting aggressively towards me in the beginning, and not stay and try to support my point of view, it was just dump in front of furious ready to fight people.

Arm and hand still hurting, and it really isn't worth it, with a bunch of dates and a new job coming for me. I recognised that fighting was not worth it, but for some stupid reason I felt that getting beaten up but staying there was worth it.

To close all this, I just want to say a big sorry to all the community, because I am the last person that wants to make a bad name for cold approachers. I never have the intention to harm a girl, and even when it gets uncalibrated, the worst thing I do is coming across as creepy or weird, but I've never physically or even verbally harassed anyone. Maybe I have persisted a bit more on talking to the girls than I should, and it's something I have in mind to be toning down when the girl is initially closed off. I should also be taking breaks faster in field, when I feel myself off and I am having weird vibes and being uncalibrated.

Man, that sucks! Hope you're feeling in better shape now. You'll bounce back.

I think you probably know already that you shouldn't be running after a girl who's refused to stop. Once that happens, her perspective goes from 'this guy is wanting me to stop, and giving me a choice' to 'this guy is not giving me a choice and pursuing me, maybe I'm about to get assaulted' and all her alarms and defences go up.

I've seen some pickup videos on youtube where gurus tell guys 'don't let her go without saying your piece' and encouraging guys to run after and keep trying to stop women who've ignored them already. This is garbage. It not only violates stuff like the law of least effort and nukes her attraction, but also just plain looks horrible to anyone around. Streets are still social environments, and you have to follow the social rules as much as possible.

Remember, seduction is always an offer, not a demand. She has to be complicit in it with you, she has to give you the opportunity to continue. At the beginning, you're just a strange man she's never seen, wanting something to do with her. If that isn't something she wants, or you messed up the approach in some way such as startling her, just let her go, it's fine. She always owes us nothing at all.

I've never been jumped on like that while gaming. But in terms of perspective, the thing to realize is this: you never meant her any harm, but those guys don't know that. They just saw you running after her, and her accelerating away. They are already in attack mode. So don't try to argue with them or fight them, just acquiesce in a dignified way. When they come up toward you, just put up your hands and say "OK cool, no problem. I just wanted to tell her something but she must've got the wrong idea. My bad." And move away, with a strong but open/casual posture.

The rules you broke here were social rules, rules that those guys follow and value. Whenever you break rules in front of rule-followers, you become an anomaly, an 'other'. This unites the people who follow and value the rules, and makes you seem more different to them, feeding their aggression. To deescalate, you want to show them that you understand the rules and value them as well, rather than trying to convince them that they are wrong or counter their aggression. When you show that you also value the rules, it makes you one of them, and they can accept that you simply made a mistake.

And secondly, you want to start moving away, right away. You won't be able to teach them about your viewpoint then and there while they are in that state, so you just want to act like it's not a big deal and you just messed up wanting to say hello to a pretty girl. As soon as you show you aren't looking for a fight, and you aren't going to get reactive, the aggression of a group goes down.

I'd say the most important things to focus on now are:

- Making sure you're taking care of yourself day to day and putting your life on the right track.

- Make sure you're dressing well and with style (maybe buy a couple new clothes, get a haircut, etc) and spend a bit of time maxing your presentation.

- Focus on having good social interactions in general, making small talk with checkout girls etc, going to social events and stuff like that, and making sure that the first impression people are getting of you is a chill, sociable, and likeable, well presented dude.

- Go easy with your approaches from this point, not focusing on end results, but focusing on delivering good first impressions and having fun and enjoyable conversations, and making sure you are able to offer social value with just the fundamentals.

I also suggest hitting the gym from this point on. You've mentioned before you have a pretty slight build, you want to come across as someone who can deal some damage if he has to. This is very good for your self esteem and for keeping aggressors from thinking you are just an easy opportunistic target.

Don't sweat it too much, these things can happen. At the end of the day, your goal is to have great mutual experiences with women, you messed up an approach, and these guys were just being reactive to what they saw. Just make sure you're doing the best job of presenting yourself all the time, being social and enjoying yourself, and not getting attached to results with any particular woman.

All the best!

 

[Higher]

My approach to all that till now has been trying to find techniques to turn initial reds from street game to at least yellows, but now I feel that unless I am in very good state there is no point really going for that. And even then maybe I should start giving up a bit earlier and stop trying 2-3 times to feel that I did my best and persisted enough.

Man, the most important lessons are sometimes learned the hardest way.

Pretty impossible to forget this experience. Cold approach is a game in which time-efficiency and calibration are cardinal rules.

But on top of that, i feel u might be taking this thing too seriously.

I had a few instances where i could "turn a red to yellow", but they are very rare, mostly because i couldnt care to invest that amount of time in it. When i succeeded, it was always playful. I was not in a "lets make this gal fucking stop with all sort of arguments" vibe - more in a "lets play around and tease her in a cool way, and as long as she stays and smiles and giggles, she might be game".

Anyway, now u got this very important lesson on calibration. If nothing happens on social media, its fine. Its gonna be just a really bad memory thatll remind u of what a really bad set looks like.

Ull do better!

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I think you probably know already that you shouldn't be running after a girl who's refused to stop. Once that happens, her perspective goes from 'this guy is wanting me to stop, and giving me a choice' to 'this guy is not giving me a choice and pursuing me, maybe I'm about to get assaulted' and all her alarms and defences go up.

Yeah I do. I guess sometimes I just feel I want to do everything I can, but I should just let them go. It’s worse when I get a lot of rejections, at some point I go like, since they all reject me, I have to put more effort to get somewhere. But it’s not the right mindset, the initial rejection in the streets cannot just be turned around with such a vibe, and of course she owes me nothing. So I agree I should just stop when they clearly don’t want to talk.

I've never been jumped on like that while gaming. But in terms of perspective, the thing to realize is this: you never meant her any harm, but those guys don't know that. They just saw you running after her, and her accelerating away. They are already in attack mode. So don't try to argue with them or fight them, just acquiesce in a dignified way. When they come up toward you, just put up your hands and say "OK cool, no problem. I just wanted to tell her something but she must've got the wrong idea. My bad." And move away, with a strong but open/casual posture.

Yes this is probably some ego I have that no I did nothing wrong to deserve this treatment and I’ll stay here to support that. It doesn’t lead anywhere though arguing about such things in this situation, and it really can only bring bad results. I should just bail right away, and stop myself when I feel this reaction that no matter who you are, you don’t intimidate me and I won’t follow your arbitrary rules. Just let it go, no reason to get into trouble for something like that.

Making sure you're taking care of yourself day to day and putting your life on the right track

I feel at least with my new job it will be getting there now. I have some ideas about how to organise the time.

Make sure you're dressing well and with style (maybe buy a couple new clothes, get a haircut, etc) and spend a bit of time maxing your presentation.

I am a bit inconsistent in that, it’s true. That said, I was in a free event not long ago by a dating coach, and he told me I generally look good, he only mentioned shaving my monobrow. Which I am a bit hesitant because it’s been a characteristic of me forever and I never had issues with how it looks.

- Focus on having good social interactions in general, making small talk with checkout girls etc, going to social events and stuff like that, and making sure that the first impression people are getting of you is a chill, sociable, and likeable, well presented dude.

In this one I am very off lately, not sure what has happened exactly but I do feel mostly awkward whenever I meet people no matter who they are. The vibe of me being the last guy they would want to talk to when I get into the event.

Not sure if I am trying too hard, not enough, or just go from one to the other. I wasn’t ever the greatest socially, but lately it feels to me I am not likeable at all.

I think it has to do with this feeling I got after spending time in some circles and having fun, that I don’t get girls anyway when I’m having fun, so what’s the point, let’s just go and approach, it will save me time. So when I enter into social circles now, I have a vibe of not caring that much, since why care and build a bond if I feel like a low value member without access to girls.

I should just approach it more as being interested in people and connecting to them. And that I have my value regardless of the circle and the interaction, and that’s what I offer.

Go easy with your approaches from this point, not focusing on end results, but focusing on delivering good first impressions and having fun and enjoyable conversations, and making sure you are able to offer social value with just the fundamentals.

Yeah that is something to focus on, I also wanted to move towards that aspect, of bringing the good vibe, since that’s when I have also gotten better results anyway.

I also suggest hitting the gym from this point on. You've mentioned before you have a pretty slight build, you want to come across as someone who can deal some damage if he has to. This is very good for your self esteem and for keeping aggressors from thinking you are just an easy opportunistic target.

I’ve had a bodyweight workout regimen I had made in the past, that I wanted to get back to, I have left myself go a bit too much is the truth. The thing with gym is that due to a health issue my doctor had told me it’s better not to do heavy weight lifting. Not sure exactly what that entails gym wise, but it’s one of the reasons I focused more on bodyweight exercises, together with the fact that it’s just faster and more convenient doing it at home.

I may need to wait few days at least though to get to that, because my hand/arm don’t look very well. I am writing for the hospital in fact, I did some x-rays. I don’t think anything is broken, that said my left wrist, that I landed myself on, hurts a lot when I move it, and it’s very difficult to apply strength. Great timing for the new job and the 3-4 dates I have planned these next days

At least emotionally I feel fine. It was a good lesson as well.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I had a few instances where i could "turn a red to yellow", but they are very rare, mostly because i couldnt care to invest that amount of time in it. When i succeeded, it was always playful. I was not in a "lets make this gal fucking stop with all sort of arguments" vibe - more in a "lets play around and tease her in a cool way, and as long as she stays and smiles and giggles, she might be game".

Yeah I agree, I remember once I did manage it with a girl that didn’t stop, and even said she didn’t want to talk, but even then her vibe was different than the other reds. She really just needed someone to show her he was for real.

But this is such a rare event that is not worth looking for. And as you said, this playful vibe is what works the best. When my general vibe is off, it’s difficult to even get playful in the first place, so I shouldn’t push it in these circumstances.

Anyway, now u got this very important lesson on calibration. If nothing happens on social media, its fine. Its gonna be just a really bad memory thatll remind u of what a really bad set looks like.

Yeah hopefully the social media part doesn’t go south. I feel it should be fine since they mostly wanted to find a way to make me leave from that location.

And yeah as you say it’s a good lesson and at least after that, any kind of bad set will feel insignificant in comparison.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

The verdict is some small fractured bones in both arms.
Left hand in a casque, and we will see if that’s enough or it needs operation.
Right arm free, but shouldn’t pull or carry heavy weight.

Quite some lessons to be remembered…

The bad thing is I am starting to work on Thursday officially, and I got by the doctor a paper to stay home for a week.

I’m just wondering how it will affect my position. I have not even signed the contract yet, they will send the papers next week I guess, but we have a mutually binding written agreement.

Regarding girls and seduction I honestly don’t know. I will get to the dates I have already, but not sure how much more I’ll approach these days, and how much I’ll focus on dating.

I suppose it is possible to have sex without using hands a lot, maybe it’s also a good chance to check how to get things sexual without touch at all.

At least my right hand is the good one, so even if I can’t pull or carry her, I could finger her.

The other bad thing is that I will have someone come to stay with me at least for some days, since I can basically do no heavy work at home at all. And it will probably be my father, so I won’t have much personal space.

Anyway, could be worse, I could have hit my head on the pavement and died. So I’ll take it. And hopefully I won’t need an operation.

 

[gameboy]

Dude... sounds horrible. I hope you get well and won't need the operation.

You really need to focus on being more calibrated. Not only approaching.

I mean, it's great you plough through AA and are getting dates, but it's also important to always give the girls an easy way out if they're not interested.

Were you drunk when you were going out sarging at night? There was no point at all in confronting these guys. Should have left when you had the chance.

And now thinking about having sex with 2 fractured arms... I mean sure, if a girl throws herself at you, or if you have a FB or girlfriend, why not. But it does tell me again, you may need a bit of a reality check. Sorry to say it this way since you're already in a terrible place.

Again, hope you get well soon! You'll be fine!

 

[ChrisXKiss]

You really need to focus on being more calibrated. Not only approaching.

I mean, it's great you plough through AA and are getting dates, but it's also important to always give the girls an easy way out if they're not interested.

Yeah that's a good point. I think I simply had dates or interactions that I did not escalate, and then went into the mindset of doing it no matter what, and never missing chances again. Then I go too far with that and I go back to not escalating much.

So I surely need to improve calibration, and I am trying. I mean in general I don't have any reason to like ploughing through all the time, it's not effective. The times I have done it, it felt like last resort, like the interaction is going nowhere anyway, so it can't get any worse. And well, it obviously can...

Were you drunk when you were going out sarging at night? There was no point at all in confronting these guys. Should have left when you had the chance.

No, I don't go out drunk generally. And you are right there was no reason, I just felt that by leaving I would admit defeat in some way, or that I was in the wrong, and my ego couldn't handle that. It was stupid.

And now thinking about having sex with 2 fractured arms... I mean sure, if a girl throws herself at you, or if you have a FB or girlfriend, why not. But it does tell me again, you may need a bit of a reality check. Sorry to say it this way since you're already in a terrible place.

No, thanks for saying that. I was just trying to find the good that could come out of the situation. That I learn to seduce without even making moves with my arms on the girl. But I do agree with what you say, that it probably won't be possible or exciting. My point was that if I go to the dates, to still go for the close, and whatever happens ( without destroying my arms ) happens. I guess I've cancelled dates with some of these girls already, so I feel I am disappointing them and they will give up on me.

Which honestly, I should maybe accept as repercussions for my actions.

And life goes on anyway, even with the casque, if I see a hot girl I want to talk to her, and at least approaching wise I could keep doing it to stay sharp.

Thanks everyone for the kind words without sugarcoating by the way. I value it a lot.