Diary of an explorer

[Will_V]

Yeah, I suppose because of scenarios like the above I described I have this idea by flirting guides I’ve seen that I have to be less eager to show interest via texting, and for me flirting is a form of interest, she knows what’s up.

Yeah you don't want to be too flirty on text, but you don't want to switch to a boring dynamic just because the medium changed.

And you don't want to be too interested either, that's why it's important to bring up unique things derived from your approach conversation and the things you found out about her, because that way she feels connected to a source of validation when she's talking to you, without you having to invest in coming up with super interesting texts.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Coming back from the date. Wasn't bad really, we had a vibe, still no lay though.

There were specific things I like about myself, mainly the fact that from the beginning I was fairly playful and not holding myself back, probably she also inspired me since she was laughing and having fun quite a lot. Still reserved with folded hands though.

We went at a bar first, and then we went for a walk in the rain. She told me int he beginning that she liked doing that, and I was thinking what to do after the bar so it was a good fit. What I liked during the walk is that I got some nice compliance. I can remember some pretty big in my eyes situations.

One was a small road that was private passing in front of the building, she wanted to go around, I just stopped there didn't follow her, told her to go from the private one, she came back and we did. Then we were debating whether a park was open on not, she was sure it was closed, I was sure it was open, so we went, it was open and I took her in. And last one, there is a big tower around the area that I didn't know of, we arrived in front of it, it was fully muddy with a small lake in the entrance, she wanted to leave, but I went and found an area with less water you could climb a bit, got in and invited her, so we went all the way up.

There she came to me with a talk of how she wants to be real and I look like 29 while she is 39, and that generally she has had young guys come up to her because she looks quite young and is very energetic, and then they usually leave. She also said she wants someone who knows what she wants and she doesn't want an one night thing. Anyway I was telling her I don't care about the age but the energy and I enjoy her, that I believe in living in the moment, and I cannot promise her we'll be together forever or anything, but I am having a good time and would love to spend more.

She told me that this can be some other time, if I am persistent maybe I can get her and stuff, and started going down. I stayed there, told her to come back, she cam up and a bit closer and I went towards her as well and went for a kiss which she resisted. I didn't know if I should go full manhandling here, I guess I could, but didn't feel it. I have done it once in fact, manhandle kissing a girl I knew that liked me and was resisting to go to a seduction location, and in the moment she did kiss back excitedly, but after the kiss stopped it was like the whole vibe broke down, and she wanted to leave even more and faster. So I am not sure if it is a good move in such a scenario.

Anyway I remained pretty cool, we kept walking, nothing too crazy happening, I tried to have her talk about her previous experiences with guys, but she wasn't giving me much, and was changing the topics. I was generally hugging her, pushing her away sometimes, touching her hair or her hat ( yes she was wearing a hat under the umbrella with heavy rain ). So at least I think I didn't show any signs of disappointment that she didn't want to come to my place and continue the night.

She was asking me how many girls respond to me, even told me she was once approached by a guy that told her he is a dating coach, so I think she was really feeling I am just practicing and do it all the time. I was trying to show her sincere appreciation and tease her a bit as well. Towards the end as we arrived at our homes, we live literally in opposite buildings, she was saying how I'll have the time to think about the situation and the age difference now, and she as well, I told her the tea offer is still open, as we were joking of meeting for tea like good neighbors, but she said another time and we parted ways.

That's a small summary, this girl clearly had experiences of sleeping with men fast, she even told me that, but she was also probably in the mood of I am not doing that anymore. And the thing is I meet a number of older women, and most of them have this vibe of: You are so younger...ah me at your age... but now I want someone who knows what he wants, and not looking only for a night. And I can't really crack it, which I don't know if it should tell me I am just not exciting enough sexually, or I don't connect with them well enough.

At least the energy was good though, wasn't just a boring talk of some time in the bar, we had fun going around in the rain and climbing the towers, so I enjoyed it, and was quite spontaneous myself, also managing to get her to follow, which I liked.


In other news, since I did make a whole post about it, the 4 numbers from Saturday seem to be dead. The first told me she is very busy these days, and left my next message on read. The second, after telling me she has a complicated schedule for these two weeks, chatted with me for a bit, and then we came to a natural close in the conversation I'd say. This one I may come back to after a week or so, because I do feel she would enjoy meeting me, not sure how much she would make time from other things though. The third one never responded to my text for a meet and draw, telling her I want my full beauty captured, no discounts. The fourth one never responded to my text telling her it sucks, and asking what's her vibe, more of a homebody?

So this is the reality of how things usually go even after seemingly ok approaches. Won't say that any of them was super seductive, but my experience has shown me that even out of solid ones very few will even keep in touch enough to plan a meet. And this bugs me a bit, I don't know if it something about how I do my approaches, but it feels that if the girl is immediately very excited yes she will come, but if she is not, a good approach is not enough for her to care to follow through. It's like they could have this easily elsewhere, why bother. And I don't know what to do exactly to make the approaches much more powerful. I know that high energy and even more playfulness is not the answer, they just reach a high during the approach and then they fall back down. It feels like there is some general vibe, something about the way I come off that makes them go: It was nice, he seemed cool, but not the oh god I shouldn't lose the chance to meet him cool, but more the ah he is a solid guy but not gonna miss much by not meeting him cool.

And this of course if I do come off cool, I still have approaches that my vibe can be worse. For example I opened a girl today, that I suddenly realised was waiting behind me in the line for coffee when I ended paying. Very pretty and tall blonde spanish girl. The issues is I think I rushed a lot through the whole thing, because she had to order, and I felt I have to communicate fast before we both have to leave for our jobs. I guess it showed overeagerness, but honestly, not sure if I opened more slowly, that we would have time to even exchange the basics. Maybe it's better to be more grounded and slow and create a good first impression, than trying to rush through the stages of the interaction in a minute or two to go for a to get into a close that makes sense. Surely tricky, as other times as I've said by not being faster I've lost girls getting into their trains.

To conclude it is surely not very nice when you approach and go out again and again but it feels like there is some invisible barrier between you and women giving themselves to you sexually, that you are pushing against hard, but seem to only be poking some holes from time to time. And I was reading an article on the site lately about a lot pickup guys not being cool, doing it only for the identity, and I know I don't care about being consider a pick up guy, or even a seducer. I just want to be getting the girls I want, and I feel this approach is the best one towards that, because I really want the girls to like me for my sexual masculine energy. What I probably do care about is being seen as someone who takes action and works for it, I never liked people telling me I slack off, but maybe I should find a way to focus more on caring about how to win specifically. I think I have an attitude that the only think you can control is the effort you put in, but clearly some people are more effective than others, so maybe I should find ways to focus on the things that really make the difference in seduction.

At some point I suppose taking action and doing the approaches is one such thing, but I feel I am well past that, and I should really find what I should just about my presentation and the way I communicate that would have the biggest impact. I suppose that if I knew I should do 2-3 specific things first, I could drill on them to get them handled and then focus elsewhere. I'll see what I can find regarding that.


Oh and something random. I have a friend, that about half a year ago was telling me how he is not so sure about his relationship, and that he feels like he is not totally allowed to be himself with this girl. Well, he sent a picture in a group chat yesterday of him proposing to her. I have some doubts for the girl, mostly a feeling, although I have seen her go really hard at him for just losing an intersection when I was in the car with them. Her family did feel warm when I briefly met them though. And anyway, I don't want to be making bad thoughts, it's simply that he was always about matching well with a girl humour wise and being able to have fun with her, but it seems that he wasn't getting that from what he had told me. So I hope he has really thought this through and it's not just because the girl is fairly hot and he was trying to get with her for quite a while. He is a really good guy, so I truly wish him to be happy.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

It's been about a week since the last entry here, and I feel I will stick with that, unless something extraordinary happens. Mostly to save time, and also because I sometimes feel like I am productive just by coming and writing here, or looking around in the forums, when in reality it does not translate to action by itself.

It's can also be hard psychologically, coming back to write about your experiences when you feel you haven't made much progress. I know it's not good to think like that, but I can't help feeling a bit like I am failing in this journey by not getting closer to the results I would like, or at least getting better than what I have been previously.

Apart from that, which is more of an inner thing, I keep approaching, realising that it is fairly tight during weekdays, due to a number of activities I've been getting into. Of course it can be done and I am still doing it, it is just that a lot of times I am in the middle of going from one place to the other and don't have enough time to properly run an interaction. Even to the point that that I've noticed when I get to have more time I am a bit unprepared for it, since I've been so used to trying to open and get a number very fast. I chose to do these other things, so I will live with it, I only have to check how to work around my schedule, because I barely have time for dates as well. Maybe it is better, in the sense that I can use it in order to push myself to escalate and pull fast from the first meeting. It's something I don't feel I am doing enough, mostly because I don't seem to have enough time free for later at the moment I meet the girls.

There is also the weekend, which is more free, I have decided to be travelling a bit though, so with local girls not the best option either. That said, it's surely possible to keep approaching during travels, which is exactly what I did this weekend. I was so not in the mood to do much and even stay at home, that even after buying the tickets and booking accommodation, I was dragging my feet on Saturday morning and almost lost the flight. It's like when you don't feel like going out at night, it feels way better when you are eventually there.

So I went for my trip, and I approached a lot, can't really think of a number now, but just the positive street stops that were open to exchange contacts were 10+, so the total number was many times that for sure. Now one issue here is that you are abroad only for 2 days, so a lot of the people instantly disqualify you when it comes to street game, unless they are also tourists or with a very flexible schedule, or maybe if they see you as a great lover opportunity which I have not achieved yet.

And again my main issue is not really the people that instantly reject you or are in relationships, I am getting over these quickly in general. The issue is the people that stay and talk a bit, you even feel a vibe, but then nothing happens, maybe they don't come to meet up or even if you are out it's not progressing. I've had this issue that I don't know anymore if I should just be way more forward and agressive. I think I never was naturally, I tried it without much success, basically girls either rejecting me harshly in the beginning of the interaction or feeling like I am pushing them too much in the later stages, so I ended up feeling I have to be way more smooth with my interactions, which probably makes them quite timid in the end.

I was reading from 60 years of challenge, because some people recommended it, and he is very big on just going out, approaching, using eye contact, touch and proximity and escalating fast. He even says to go especially fast with the first good set of the night, to build the confidence that will carry on to the next ones if you get rejected. What I have been struggling to understand though is how girls will really respond well to all this. He is mentioning that the escalation itself is what creates attraction and you will just be shit tested more if you are not the usual type they go for, but I don't see how exactly to move forward in these scenarios. Obviously you cannot just plow through, and the number of receptive girls per night ready for fast escalations seem extremely few, at least the ones that would be open for that with me. I don't mind just going out and being extra physical and dominant right away, my only problems are having very bad reactions from girls as has happened in the past creating negative preselection, and even getting into physical danger by other guys coming to protect them.

I feel I am missing some very important aspects of how to calibrate coming off sexual, while making women excited and wanting to dive into that. Most of the times I do it, they will at best get too nervous and not want to move further, and at worst feel weirded out and want to stay away. And this first part is the real issue, if we assume that the second ones are not interested, even the first ones that the attraction is there, don't eventually come to sleep with me, with strong anti slut defence, telling me how it's too early, they don't want to come home, etc And I was wondering if this is really an issue with my manhandling, and if I am letting them off the hook too much, meaning I should be grilling them more during conversation, being way more physical with them, pulling them in, pushing them away literally, and be way more unreactive emotionally, shrug whatever they say, just change topics to what I feel like talking etc. Basically put the pressure on them way more, and if they don't comply move on.

I will keep reading these notes from 60 I have, there is much more material to cover, but I already like these concepts and his approach, with the only question being how you keep yourself away from bad scenarios and being perceived negatively by the environment when being so openly sexual.

Having said all this, nothing really sexual happened during the trip in the end. A bunch of approaches would be interesting to mention though. I am not sure if it makes sense to put them in the field reports just to reach a bigger audience of people to help, or simply post them here since they didn't go very far. I will think about it, difficult to remember all the details anyway, because there were too many these last days.

To finish in a very positive note, let's just say that through these approaches I realised even more that girls who seem very beautiful, hot, elegant, aloof, bitchy or whatever, they can all be into me, surely not all of them, but some will be, at least to some degree initially. How you take it from there is something to figure out.

And also something from my side is that the more classy, sexy and unique they present themselves the more I am attracted to them and not just on a superficial level. Yeah of course if you see the girl all dressed up to go the club you will feel more interested in her than a girl with plain everyday clothes, but what I mean is that I see these very hot girls and a lot of times I feel warmer towards them, like I see behind the seemingly cold exterior and it somehow puts a genuinely smile on my face how cute the way they present themselves is.

 

[gameboy]

And I was wondering if this is really an issue with my manhandling, and if I am letting them off the hook too much, meaning I should be grilling them more during conversation, being way more physical with them, pulling them in, pushing them away literally, and be way more unreactive emotionally, shrug whatever they say, just change topics to what I feel like talking etc.

I think this might be your problem. Seduction is not about manhandling and grilling the girl until she submit and sleeps with you. It's about finding one that's open for something to happen, which you already seem to be pretty good at since you're getting numbers and dates from so many girls. And then you want to make her want you.

As an example, let's take kissing. It's not just about ramming her tongue down her while your hands move increasingly toward her private parts. When i kiss a girl I do it for my own pleasure, of course, but I'm also constantly checking what's pleasurable for her. I might kiss different spots on her neck, or ear, or even stick my tongue in her ear. If she shivers at some point and likes it (i.e. doesn't complaing verbally), I know I have found a spot where she likes being kissed and that turns her on. And I'll just do more of it until she is horny enough to remove her clothes herself and jump me / ask me to move over to the bedroom (if we're in a private location) / ask me where I live (if in public).

In the same way, I'll carress their bodies and always be registering which parts of it they enjoy, and which they are not ready for yet. Then do more of the stuff that you see they enjoy, and they'll become ready for the other stuff eventually by themselves.

I just recently found out about Chase's SAC model, Similiarity Arousal Compliance. If I understand his model correctly it's about trying all three of these to find out which works best, then focussing on the one that the girl responds to best. So again, you win by focussing on doing the stuff that you see the girl likes, not by being emotionally unreactive to her and shrugging off what they say. I'd say it's actually the opposite. You don't want to be phazed by it, that much is true, but you also want to show her that you care about her.

As you know, I'm not great at day game myself yet. I actually admire how you get 10+ numbers in a single weekend, that's fucking impressive.

So if someone more experienced wants to correct me I'd be happy for them to do so. But I've had a fair share of girls in my life, mainly from night game, parties and such, plus a bit of online. So I wanted to share my thoughts in the hope that it helps.

I believe momentum is also important... once you've had success picking up girls you will know that you can do it and ooze much more confidence, making it easier with the next one... girls seem to be able to smell if you're getting laid from a mile away!

 

[ChrisXKiss]

As an example, let's take kissing. It's not just about ramming her tongue down her while your hands move increasingly toward her private parts. When i kiss a girl I do it for my own pleasure, of course, but I'm also constantly checking what's pleasurable for her. I might kiss different spots on her neck, or ear, or even stick my tongue in her ear. If she shivers at some point and likes it (i.e. doesn't complaing verbally), I know I have found a spot where she likes being kissed and that turns her on. And I'll just do more of it until she is horny enough to remove her clothes herself and jump me / ask me to move over to the bedroom (if we're in a private location) / ask me where I live (if in public).

I understand this, the thing is that first they have to accept the kiss, and then to accept you staying there and kissing them enough to be aroused. I have made it work few times, other times they just either don't kiss, or they don't move forward with me after the kiss.

And these are girls that clearly want me in some way if they come out with me or even kiss initially, so there is something not working there, maybe they just feel I am too needy to move towards sex.

I just recently found out about Chase's SAC model, Similiarity Arousal Compliance. If I understand his model correctly it's about trying all three of these to find out which works best, then focussing on the one that the girl responds to best. So again, you win by focussing on doing the stuff that you see the girl likes, not by being emotionally unreactive to her and shrugging off what they say. I'd say it's actually the opposite. You don't want to be phazed by it, that much is true, but you also want to show her that you care about her.

Yes, approaching it more strategically through trying to find out what works best for each girl would be a good approach. What I said is probably because I feel the hot girls will not take me seriously so I have to be extra polarising to get their attention. Maybe I am just not balancing these well, meaning that when I go for arousal I go pure arousal and they get defensive and when I go for similarity it gets too much and we get platonic. Don't think I have ever done too much compliance, because I have not been asking for it a lot anyway.

As you know, I'm not great at day game myself yet. I actually admire how you get 10+ numbers in a single weekend, that's fucking impressive.

So if someone more experienced wants to correct me I'd be happy for them to do so. But I've had a fair share of girls in my life, mainly from night game, parties and such, plus a bit of online. So I wanted to share my thoughts in the hope that it helps.

Yeah I respect your views and experiences, it's not about me trying to say that I know what I am talking about exactly. Maybe I also lose focus by looking at different teachers and methods, one that tells you to tease way more, one that is more relaxed and natural, one that is more physical and direct, etc

I believe momentum is also important... once you've had success picking up girls you will know that you can do it and ooze much more confidence, making it easier with the next one... girls seem to be able to smell if you're getting laid from a mile away!

And I do agree with this, as I said in the beginning, they probably feel I am moving towards the close too much. I had this idea that successful and busy men shouldn't wait, and they just go for what they want fast, but it seems I cannot personify it the way I should to get results.

 

[gameboy]

I didn't meant to say you should wait, hope it didn't sound that way. I wrote all this before reading your Field Report. I think you're doing really good. Maybe you missed an escalation opportunity with the girl you met on the hike and went to the beach with, but I know how it is when the vibe is just platonic and she's not giving any IOIs. Sometimes there's just not any good opportunity. Some girls just need more than an afternoon to warm up, and you were in the city only for the weekend so that's not easy.

On a different note, your FR did inspire me to approach way more. Out of curiosity, what opener do you use normally?

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I didn't meant to say you should wait, hope it didn't sound that way. I wrote all this before reading your Field Report. I think you're doing really good. Maybe you missed an escalation opportunity with the girl you met on the hike and went to the beach with, but I know how it is when the vibe is just platonic and she's not giving any IOIs. Sometimes there's just not any good opportunity. Some girls just need more than an afternoon to warm up, and you were in the city only for the weekend so that's not easy.

On a different note, your FR did inspire me to approach way more. Out of curiosity, what opener do you use normally?

Oh no the waiting wasn't about you, it is just that I generally read about moving fast and that busy men wouldn't wait around, but when I try to do that, move quickly, replace if they ignore me, basically act like I have abundance and don't care that much if I lose them, what happens is that I simply lose them lol I mean it's good to not be chasing I guess, but on the other hand if I don't create enough interest for them to want to stay around it feels like they couldn't care less that they even met me after a bit.

Yeah this girl from the hike was an interesting one, I feel if I had the night I would have gone for something, but I had no idea what logistics to find for such a quick pull in the middle of the day and in a city I didn't know, so I felt even moving in for a kiss wasn't that worth it. Maybe not the best mindset, since I have also not escalated in the past due to not seeing how it could lead to sex logistically, and these are chances I could take more advantage of.

And yeah the weekend thing is real, the girls I have met in that way that something happened were either tourists themselves there for a bit, or very into me. Especially for daygame where you obviously talk to meet again later, it's like you are planning a hook up for the same night, not easy for most girls to accept. Nightgame could probably be better in this scenario, wouldn't say I am very successful in it though.

Happy it inspired you to approach! I generally start with a compliment, depends a bit on her vibe and what I feel. It could be that she looks extremely elegant, absolutely lovely, naturally classy or something about her posture, her walk, her style, her energy. It's difficult to remember most times what I used because it just comes out in the moment. I may even use some combination like: Excuse me... You look so elegant and feminine at the same time... it's truly unique. Very few will reject this hard if it's honest, maybe some will look at you skeptically, but at least they will appreciate it even if they are not interested.

And most of the times I am honest, unless I force myself to approach just for practice or warm up. But usually even then I find something cute about the girl that is true for me. I feel this is powerful, how it goes from there is another question, the first step though is really unique, there are times I feel like I am making love to them from the first line and then wonder if all this is too intense. For sure I felt it with two-three of the girls in that report.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Went out today at after 8 pm and did some approaches around the city. I tried to focus on not asking questions as the latest article indicated, and it was fairly difficult to be honest, at least I think it didn't went that bad, and it gives a different feeling like you are more commanding. Got 5 numbers + 1 earlier in the day, how solid they will be is not so clear, but still it is something.

I noticed it is quite difficult to be teasing and playful when they don't give you much in the beginning. If I can feel a vibe it may come naturally, but this is not happening very usually. Should also be going for even more compliance. I am forgetting it so I should keep some examples in mind to have ready.

I also received a very weird video call by a girl I approached months ago, and we never met again. She was calling me from her country and was telling me that her friend that was with her there was very interested in me. We talked for a bit, eventually I just told her to let me know when they come back and then we can plan something. Not even sure if this was for real.

Towards the end, when I was ready to go home, I saw a fairly curvy girl that was dressed pretty lovely. I opened her and she was extremely feminine, basically I could feel crazy chemistry and got very hard. She told me she was going home after a bar, I proposed we go have another drink, we talked a bit about where we could, and we ended up in a pub nearby.

Really sensual girl, I couldn't help but stay excited the whole time due to her mannerisms. Of course she was 9 years older, but I explained her I don't care about that but about the energy, and also answered how I feel about women saying I love them and want to appreciate their femininity like the one she has live in the moment and take it all in. I had also been openly complimenting her on these things throughout the interaction , so at that point I felt she was ready for a kiss and I simply went for it.

It was a good one, I ended it first, in a bit she asked if we would stay more to take some water, and I proposed we go to her place, to which she said no from the first meeting. I explained I only want her to do what she feels like without pressure and I enjoy her company.

She didn't change opinion so I proposed to go for a walk. Kissed maybe one two more times for a bit, and as we were arriving at the train station she told me she doesn't want to see me again because she is looking for something stable, I want sex from the beginning. I told her how this does not mean we won't meet again, and she understood but still wanted something different. I was chill and told her I understand and I cannot promise that, I simply enjoy her energy.

It was interesting, because I stayed there talking to her for few minutes after she had made clear she is not looking for something casual, and this made her tell me I am one of the best guys she has met for not taking the rejection for sex very harshly and being open about what I want.

We parted ways shortly, so nothing much more happened, but the fact I took her to the insta date and also made my move for the kiss satisfied me, because I wanted to be playing more to win.

All in all not a bad outing, surely many things to improve, but at least I am happy for going out to do it first of all, and secondly for how some of the interactions developed with the things I tried.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Quite a long day today. So much that I struggle to remember what approaches I did the previous days in fact.

Anyway I went out for some chores and made some approaches during that. I took 2 numbers then, but how solid they are I am not sure.

I think I should be more slow, I kinda know why I rush, it’s because I am busy later going somewhere, but I feel I should constrain it a bit, since the energy matters way more than the words you have time to say. I am also talking more than I should some times, let’s say during the close giving some elaborate: “I hope you have fun in your appointment and enjoy the rest of the day”, instead of a simple “have fun”.

Or another thing I am doing is I am asking them when they are free, they tell me they are busy in general and can’t say exactly, so I transition to: “yeah I understand, I’m busy as well, let’s see, we may manage to figure something out”, and then before leaving I say something like a: “Bye, and maybe see you, who knows”. The reason I am saying these things is kinda to take power back from her saying she doesn’t know when she is free, and show that I am not free either and if I find time for her maybe we can meet. But I think it feels weird in the end. And in general I shouldn’t just try to run my mouth so much, but be more concise and specific in what I say.

Later I went to see a movie after getting a free ticket from a friend, made some approaches as I was going in and out. Lovely girls, all dressed up because there was an event with a gala later as well. Got 3-4 numbers, also will see how these end up. I sent the icebreaker pretty late in the evening after the movie so I hope this doesn’t affect things a lot.

And then the big interaction of the day. I was walking by the lake under the rain after the movie when I saw a cute looking girl with an umbrella walking by herself in the same direction. I hesitated a lot initially because it was quite a scary situation, night time, noone around, middle of the rain, but anyway I ran a bit to approach her and she was extremely receptive.

Like taking her hands to touch her newly made nails almost right away receptive, and telling her to show me some picture of her she mentioned as well. Increbidle compliance. We started walking and I was touching the low part of her back, then hugging her a bit, even brushing her hair. She was also 20 and after I told her I am 28 she just had an initial bad reaction, to which I responded like it’s totally normal, and she never mentioned it again. Even told me later when I asked what kind of guys she likes, that she doesn’t like guys, she likes men. Quite positive this whole thing, bringing back some trust that getting young girls is possible, because lately I felt I was even avoiding them subconsciously thinking there is no hope.

We walked for a while then turned back, I proposed we went for a drink, and also went in for a kiss which she rejected. The general energy until then was quite flirty and fun, with small doses of more serious talk, but in general we were vibing a lot without much effort and for quite some time. I didn’t change much after the failed kiss, kept similar energy, totally unfazed by it, acting like it will just happen later.

The problem is it didn’t happen later either. Went for it once more before we reached the bar, it was quite a long walk, and once more while sitting at the bar. We even drank from each other’s drinking, I was also massaging her neck from behind at some points, and still brushing her hair, touching and rubbing her fingers, hugging her, a lot of physicality. But still no kiss.

By the end I told her I won’t go for another one, and she can show me when she is ready, because I am enjoying the vibe anyway. She was thinking a lot, she even told me at some point she was thinking about my actions during this evening. I asked what she thinks of me and she told me I try too hard, and give her too much attention. I said I am being authentic and expressing my desire but didn’t solve anything.

I told her I want to keep in touch and see her again, and she was surprised after all these kiss rejections. As a result, I told her I simply enjoy our time together, and that she is just not ready for a kiss yet, I understand and it’s fine. We walked back to the train station to go to our places, I did invite her home before that which she rejected, and eventually before parting ways I told her I really enjoyed our time, to which she replied that yes she knows, I have said it many times.

We exchanged facebooks, but honestly I don’t think this is going somewhere. I went all in like that because I felt I was not showing enough desire or interest in other times with girls. But it feels that whenever I try to express my interest I overwhelm them, and it’s not the first time, exactly similar situation happened few months ago again with an instant date, where the girl rejected multiple kisses, and told me she likes guys to be more of a challenge.

Situations like these are why I generally try to kiss as little as possible before going to a seduction location, and why I also feel I have to be hiding my interest more and using it very strategically. I don’t even think I have ever managed to kiss after a first rejection to it, in fact. They seem to be piling up and getting worse and worse. And it’s funny because I know persistence should theoretically work.

After coming home around midnight, I felt like going back to the city centre to check the nightlife and the streets. I went next to the gala I mentioned earlier, and approached a woman, that was waiting for some toilets. She told me that she is with someone, but she seemed to like my approach quite a bit. I asked how to get in the gala, because I kinda knew it was private, and she did tell me I indeed needed an invitation. Then she suddenly proposed to give me her wristband so I can just get in myself, since she was planning to leave. Both our hands were quite skinny so it was easy to take it out and put it in, she told me I’ll find many more girls with elegant dresses inside, we parted ways, and I just went in through the main door like it was the most normal thing in the world.

The place was fancy, women with elegant dresses, guys with tuxedos, a bar area, and a big club area, and also free food for everyone. I quite liked it, I approached quite a bit as well, and I noticed that generally people were pretty receptive to my opens. At least not rude, ignoring me, or shutting me down immediately, I guess it’s the effect of being somewhere where only people with invites come.

Not that it led to much after that though. I bounced around to different sets that could be promising, didn’t manage to really hook one, but some interactions felt good. One funny thing is I met randomly a girl I had cold approached at some point in the summer, then I broke my hand and we never met, and she had more or less ghosted my last message. And the moment I talked to her warmly in the event, she almost instantly asked me to get in my whatsapp and sent a hi from my phone to hers so that we can resurrect the chat. Again probably the effect of meeting her in this kind of place.

I kept dancing and talking to girls until everything was finished. I danced a lot in fact, to the point that people would turn around, look at me and even applaud when I finished at the end of a song. I always find that interesting because it never helps seduction wise but it is surely fun letting loose, and having people around high fiving you and bowing down to you for your moves.

At the end of the event I was looking what I could get, and eventually I did find one girl we had talked briefly with and exchanged numbers, since she had to stay with her friend. Again I could have said some less things maybe, but it was funny because she asked me if I came alone, and I told her yeah I had a connection and got a free entrance, and she was telling me she had to pay a not so cheap ticket. I also found another girl I had talked previously, but she asked my age, told me she is 10 years older and didn’t want to keep in touch. Nice energy though in general, can’t say how easy it is to pull from such an event, but I was just enjoying all these women dressed in that way, it was so cute.

In other news, I have a date tomorrow. And maybe a second one? Can’t say for sure if it happens but there is a possibility. Also I had another girl I never met after the cold approach randomly text me to go for a drink this week. And some numbers to also take care of. I didn’t text the girl from the gala at the middle of the night, to leave it for the morning. And with all the other numbers who knows, maybe I will get something more during the week.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

No dates eventually today haha Anyway for one I was very doubtful it would happen, the other got rescheduled for Tuesday. It's not the biggest issue though, some will happen, some will not, the thing is I have reached a point where I don't trust what comes out of the date.

I mean I am meeting these women, but I feel a bit lost in the sense that time after time again we go out but we don't end up getting sexual, so I don't know what all this is about. It feels a bit like I am wasting both of our times, since we simply meet each other and then usually never again. I guess you can argue every experience helps you grow and adds to your life, so it's something positive for both parties in the broad sense.

I have trouble understanding how to approach situations at this point though. When I try to show interest and get more sexual it feels too much and like I am pushing for something. If I don't do it, it feels like I am not interested and we stay platonic. It messes my mind quite a bit, because I go back and forth between the two and can't seem to be able to find the middle.

It's a long lasting problem, and no matter how I try to act to solve it, it feels like exactly that: like I am trying to do something to make the interaction work. To put it in simple terms I am extremely bad at making girls chase, at least for sex, I feel I never have them really desiring me and feeling I am a win for them, wanting to get sexual themselves.

I will look into some relevant material, but the problem is that a lot of the things I read I feel I am doing in some ways. I'm probably not doing them in a great way, maybe I am also missing important parts, but there really seems to be a huge gap between a girl liking me/being attracted to me and wanting to sleep with me.

I was even thinking of maybe stopping going for sex or escalation completely. Meaning just totally stimulating and teasing the girls until they get very forward and make moves or open clear windows themselves. Maybe taking the end goal of sex out of my mind will help, I don't know.

To conclude, I will keep going, doesn't seem like I'm making much progress right now, but forward is the only way.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Quite a strange period seduction wise lately. It just feels like I don't care that much.

I am still approaching though, mainly as I go about my day, I've put myself in a number of activities as well, so this week I was running to catch everything, and by the end of the day I had too little energy to go out. I should be doing it though anyway, and organise my time better, because sometimes I just sleep late because I read articles or I plan and replan trips and basically this has no end, until I decide to do something specific and stick with it.

And it's funny because I've gotten around 20 numbers these last two weeks, barely approaching, even earlier I went out to get some food, talked to 3 girls, and I got one number. The issue is though that most of them don't respond after 1-2 messages. And this brings me back to the beginning of this post.

I don't even try to keep the interactions alive lately, I will text once-twice, propose we meet, then if they don't respond, I will stop texting back as well. I feel I am so done with trying to keep them talking to me and coming out and I get bored extremely fast when they are not. I am not sure if I should be persisting more somehow, I guess it doesn't hurt, I'm also forgetting it day by day among the other things I am doing. Maybe I should just write down some stock responses to be sending them just to maximize the odds of something happening.

The other thing is I've had two flakes on some of the only days I had free time for dates, and although I also care very little about not seeing the girls themselves, it bothers me that I plan them for the one day I have a bit free and then it doesn't end up happening. I'm not sure if they can also somehow sense how much through the motions I'm going.

And I can't say for sure what all this is. It's surely not just that I am busy, so maybe I'm simply feeling that putting even more effort is pointless, because when I do I just end up looking try hard. Really it's like I have incredible outcome independence, they reject me, stop texting me, or cancel dates and it may feel bad for few seconds, but then I go very fast to a whatever, who cares really, she is not that special.

And I think in the end maybe they can feel that. I mean that I am simply approaching them and moving things forward just because they are the next cute girls that happened to come into my path, and that they don't mean much for me and will be easily replaced in my mind in a few days.

I haven't even been feeling a lot of sexual arousal lately, I don't even remember the last time I masturbated to be honest, and I've had days when I ejaculated in my sleep due to that.

So yeah I can't say it looks that great when it comes to my motivation to do seduction. And it's quite interesting that even through that I just keep approaching. At least I have made this enough of a habit that if a cute girl is passing by she will be approached almost surely. I really need to stay at home or be out with groups of people to not approach, if I am alone I almost act even before I think.

Anyway, I planned few trips today and also some of the things I will be doing in the next weeks seem more clear, so I feel I can manage to organise myself more, and at least go out and practice properly. I do feel though that in the end a huge part of it is the excitement I have about seducing women and learning to balance wanting them but not needing them. This has been my biggest struggle like forever, and I should find some middle ground between pursuing them hard and letting them go hard.

 

[gameboy]

I'm sure they can sense it... On one hand I envy you getting 20 numbers in two weeks, but if they all flake then that obviously still sucks...

Girls like to feel special and meaningful for you... If you don't really care for them then they will notice sooner or later. I think you said that some are excited initally when they talk to you? If so, and if they then don't want to meet up, or meet up but nothing comes of it, maybe you are doing something that kills that excitement. It's cool that you're approaching on autopilot, but maybe that also takes a lot of the emotion out of it that girls like to feel...

Not saying I'm doing any better, because I'm not. My excitement to go out approaching every day could be higher as well.

EDIT: Not sure I phrased that right. My point is, I think you may be right with the assumption that the girls sense that the excitement is missing. I don't know how because I'm not that advanced myself yet, but maybe if you find a way to "bring back" that emotion then that could bring you closer to your goal.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I'm sure they can sense it... On one hand I envy you getting 20 numbers in two weeks, but if they all flake then that obviously still sucks...

Girls like to feel special and meaningful for you... If you don't really care for them then they will notice sooner or later. I think you said that some are excited initally when they talk to you? If so, and if they then don't want to meet up, or meet up but nothing comes of it, maybe you are doing something that kills that excitement. It's cool that you're approaching on autopilot, but maybe that also takes a lot of the emotion out of it that girls like to feel...

Not saying I'm doing any better, because I'm not. My excitement to go out approaching every day could be higher as well.

EDIT: Not sure I phrased that right. My point is, I think you may be right with the assumption that the girls sense that the excitement is missing. I don't know how because I'm not that advanced myself yet, but maybe if you find a way to "bring back" that emotion then that could bring you closer to your goal.

Yeah, it's not even that I don't care about them as people. More that I know after all these approaches that I can always find similar ones sooner or later, so it's difficult to see each individual one as someone particularly special to me.

I think I also have this idea in mind that in the end it's mostly about value. I mean that whether you care about them or you don't if they find someone sexier that can offer them a better experience they will just desire him more. But I guess the caring is part of this experience you offer.

Now that I think about it more, I do care about the girls I am with but in a detached way, in the sense that I want them to be well, but I don't believe I have much to do with that beyond our interaction. During the moments we are together I offer myself, connect with them and experience them, but in the end they are responsible for their well being.

And this is something I basically always had, probably a reason why relationships have been extremely foreign to me, how and why someone would devote his time in life to be with someone else constantly as a pair. I feel the one function I understand is the creation of a family, and being together with your woman the proper role models for your children, but before this I don't get why be with someone when I can be single and just meeting and experiencing people.

Anyway, this may be getting out of topic, but I have for sure become less sensitive to the uniqueness of different girls as I have been meeting more and more of them. Maybe I should just start focusing less on the end result, because I feel I am seeing it a lot as a process, and a skill to acquire with the girls basically being the practice of the skill. And this kinda objectifies them in the wrong way, when in reality they are humans and you have to connect with them and not crack some code that gets them to your bed.

So trying to enjoy the moment, feel the energy, experience the girl, while being aware of signs to move things forward is vital.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

It’s been a while, in fact I tried to write some times but I was so tired I was sleeping on my keyboard.

It’s been two weeks without much and with a bit at the same time. I haven’t been approaching a lot, and almost no numbers from them, but I did have two dates and slept with one of them.

In the approaching side, I was pretty busy with some side activities I signed up for, and also with some trips I decided to take, so I was running from one place to the other a lot. I think the girls I approached mostly felt that vibe of rushing, and the interactions didn’t go anywhere due to that.

Also I approached less during the trips, because I started feeling it is a waste of time stopping a lot of girls at a random country I will be for a day or two. I mean daygame mostly, if I end up in a club I will generally talk. Maybe I should change this mindset and just do it anyway because you never know.

The fact that I am also not around during the weekends and busy during some evenings also makes me hesitate to approach because I start wondering when I will even see the girl. I shouldn’t think like that though, because one/two days almost always end up free for a date in one way or another.

And the thing is I have decided to take these trips, because I have some travel benefits in this job I am till February, and I feel it will be good for my general life experience. So I prioritise taking some time to plan and execute them for now. Only bad thing is I end up with a disturbed sleeping schedule trying to fit everything in, and this does not help for my state seduction wise.

On to the dates, I had one flake, and two dates. I eventually had two more free evenings I didn’t expect this last week, which I always hate when happens for the planning. Anyway I should just approach and try to figure out then when to meet.

Chronologically the first one was with the girl I ended up sleeping with. I approached by street stopping her around the general area of my work. Very simple interaction, maybe a minute or two, proposed to meet some other time since I had to go to the office, and we exchanged numbers.

The messaging was mostly straightforward, she told at some point she didn’t reply fast because of some issues with her two daughters, and I responded in a chill way, and just proposed a time and date.

During the date things were quite interesting. I don’t want to take too much space and write all details, that said it was nice how we ended up sleeping together when she wasn’t really expressive with her interest towards me.

When we met I also think I acted a bit weird regarding deciding where to go, I am checking some places for winter around so I wasn’t very decisive, and I thought the attraction plummeted. I really sat at the place ordering thinking how I lost everything from the first moment of the date and the rest of it will be a drag.

Gladly I pulled myself together and decided to roll with it, and see where it could end up. Generally we were sitting across each other talking and vibing, I went for a deep dive, and I feel that she really started seeing me differently when I explained some things about acting with more passion.

We had only been sitting opposite to each other all this time, so I wanted to take things a bit closer. My idea was to just keep leading and I would see. I proposed we go for a walk, we went to a nice place with a view, and on the road she told me how she has to start making better choices, because she always like unavailable busy guys that are not there. I think I said something like all choices leading to valuable experiences, and after she asked that I mostly go for healthy connections myself. After we arrived, she asked my age, I told her, stayed non reactive, and she said she didn’t mind she was older.

Then there was a moment of sexual tension with a pause, I had gotten hard, and I simply went in for the kiss. She received it well, broke it off first and then casually continued talking and moved her to another spot, and even higher tower, because I didn’t feel she was ready to be invited home.

We went all the way up the tower, two guys there, so I waited for them to leave a bit to make another move. At this point even after the kiss she remained fairly distant, she didn’t come to stand next to me but again opposite. I somehow led the interaction to a point that would excite me, with some light teases and eye contact and when I got hard again, I offered my hand she put hers on top and I pulled her in for another kiss.

This time it was more passionate, going hard for a bit, then breaking it off, looking at her with lust, I basically wanted to make her feel very excited and want more, to the point that she would accept a request to go home. Wasn’t sure enough about going all the way up there, maybe another time.

So I did tell her something along the lines of “Let’s go somewhere more in private”, and told her that my place is nearby. She said she doesn’t know if she is ready to do it as we were going down the stairs so I told her that she doesn’t need to be, we are just going to chill and do only what we feel like, what I care is her doing what she enjoys.

Didn’t talk much more about it, just walked all the way home, casually opened the door and she came in. We put some wine and music and sat at the couch. We talked platonically for quite a bit, at some point I started feeling it may go nowhere like that so I went in for a kiss for the first time without creating a moment and she rejected it.

Generally I could feel that she wanted everything to be at the right moment and smooth. I told her I simply couldn’t help myself looking at her and wanted to do it, while pulling back. We chatted a bit more, the moment came so I went in again and no resistance.

I was starting to get a bit more intense, kissing all around the neck and below and I was hard but not on the verge or anything. Suddenly she breathed sensually over my ear and I ejaculated in my pants almost immediately without control. Took a break, went to the bathroom to clean up, and when I came back told her I took a release, I feel she thought I went to masturbate, so I explained I urinated. Weird stuff to discuss anyway, guess I felt a bit awkward with what happened.

After that, apart from the fact that my sexual state had not been maintained wasn’t good, because I had to recreate another sexual tension moment to escalate again, and I couldn’t access much sexual energy after the orgasm.

We talked some more, even about sex this time, which I hadn’t done before. In fact she told me we are not having sex tonight, and I was very chill about it, and basically I told her I want the sex to be a shared experience, and the important thing is how I make her feel, and that she is into it and enjoys herself, since that’s the only thing making it different to masturbation.

At some point around this time she commented how I feel like I am not pushing for it, and she rarely finds guys like that. And it is true after so many dates going nowhere, I really had a vibe of whatever, if she is not into it she can just go, it’s not the first time, I’ll find something else to do.

But at the same time I kept creating these moments and going for escalation. I managed another one after a bit of rest time, and although she was talking about having to catch the next train, she basically never mentioned it again by the time I had started stimulating her pussy above her pants.

Basically my plan there again was to make her so horny that she would crave me undressing her eventually which is what happened. I honestly felt in fact at some point she would say no we can’t do more tonight and she has to leave, but I guess the power of horniness is strong.

After a bunch of licking and fingering, I finally took my penis out, I think she really was craving it, but I managed to ejaculate extremely fast when inside her again. After that she turned to sleep without letting me play with her much more.

All this made me quite sad, because she had mentioned earlier how she hadn’t had sex for a while and her last experiences were also bad, people just caring for their own pleasure. So I wanted to give her something better, but can’t say it went very well in the end.

After some time, we woke up, she went for an uber and I stayed there to wait with her, we parted ways with a hug, and I told her to text me she arrived safely. We have exchanged two three texts after that, I was left on read in the last one. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure how to go from there, I didn’t want any kind of relationship, and for the sex part it didn’t feel I had much to provide with how it went.

And this is a general issue, I had never been premature twice the same night by the way, so I end up feeling that I don’t have literally anything to offer that they can’t get by a good friend. Since I am not going for a relationship, and the sex part is lacking. It’s difficult to process it really, it affects my desire to approach, and even more my desire to see a girl again.

And I don’t really enjoy the whole experience myself that way, I feel I cannot let the girl excite me much or let myself do the things that excite me more because I’ll go over the edge.

Anyway, I’ll try to figure things out regarding that but it’s getting a bit ridiculous. At least didn’t stop me from getting to the other date about half a week later. Also approached her around the work area, and with her we are in fact colleagues in a way, but she doesn’t work at the office.

She was very classy when we met, enjoyed her feminine energy, that said she was all about this being the first date and getting to know each other first. I tried some reframes, similar approach with the other date more or less, same places, but when we arrived at the area I gave the first kiss in the previous one, although we were totally alone, I didn’t feel at any moment the vibe to take a step and escalate.

So I didn’t, proposed we just chill at my place, she said something along the lines of this being far enough for the first time, and we parted ways in a cool fashion. Not sure if I should have jumped in for a kiss anyway, or pressed more, I have done things like this in the past and they never worked, so I was more relaxed in a let it come to you way, and if it doesn’t don’t push it.

She is quite conservative as well, works in her local church part time, was big about knowing what you want from life and having similar trajectory with a partner, but I don’t think she is the type of girl that I would right now say she is worth getting exclusive and leaving all the seduction practice behind.

Also exchanged two three texts and I am now on read. But I am not very surprised by this since I kinda don’t know what to do with them after these kind of first dates, when I am not going for a boyfriend role but also not feel very confident sexually.

Regarding the girls I would be exclusive with, the place I was this weekend had probably the biggest concentration of girls with the physical characteristics I like the most. And I won’t lie it was a bit painful, being all around them, seeing them with other guys, and wondering if I could ever reach that point myself. Because it has been feeling a bit like putting a lot of effort for scraps. Not that I would have any success without doing it, but it would be nice to feel naturally attractive to such girls eventually, and not that I have to do something very well to get them.

 

[gameboy]

Damn, so you finally got to "the finish line" in a manner of speaking, and then it wasn't even satisfying? That must suck... I'm not sure whether to congratulate you or not.

Anyway, way to go!

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Damn, so you finally got to "the finish line" in a manner of speaking, and then it wasn't even satisfying? That must suck... I'm not sure whether to congratulate you or not.

Anyway, way to go!

I'm happy with how the whole date went, because for the first time I simply followed my feelings in every moment and it worked out perfectly. In fact it was so smooth that it didn't even excite me much, that's why I randomly jumped in for the kiss at some point. All this waiting to create a moment, although I felt it would work, was boring me in a way.

But yeah the sex part surely wasn't satisfying. It has happened before, I know there is a possibility, but it still sucks, and kinda makes it not worth everything to get there. I mean I could have more fun masturbating and controlling my orgasm fully, than exploding super fast with a bit of female stimulation.

I'm still going through it though, because apart from wanting to improve, I enjoy the process of getting the girl to have sex with me. I feel that at least until sex happens there is a goal, and achieving it satisfies me.

So in the end I am really more focused on the seduction itself. I've been able to last more in bed so I know that is possible, but I have not been able to have sex with certain girls I would want, so that is what I really desire.

My worst concern is probably word getting around that I am finishing extremely fast, which is probably why I avoid sexual relationships in social circles, it would feel too much having everyone know me as the premature chump.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Intro

I'm surely at a pretty low point motivation wise. I think it's a mix of me travelling here and there and having my mind in other things, together with not feeling satisfied by my latest sexual experiences. I'll take it step by step though for the last two weeks, because even through all that, it somehow happened that I got laid once.

First of all from the last 14 days, I spent probably half at home, the rest away, and together with being busy and some normal tiredeness from the trips, I would say only these last 2-3 days were the ones I was free and didn't really use seduction wise as I could.

Trips and trips

I firstly went for some days to a specific big american east coast city. Hadn't been there before and was expecting it way more chaotic, but I was pleasantly surprised and enjoyed the vibe a lot. I loved the women as well, their style, their bodies, they just had a vibe.

Didn't approach consistently there, could give a bunch of excuses, like being in a hostel with no visitors allowed, or that I was running around to see stuff, but to be honest I was also not feeling at my best. In a way I am taking these trips, but they are kinda directionless, just to see the world, and it makes me feel somehow that I am drifting around with no purpose. So when I see a local to approach I have all these thoughts about what do I really offer her for a night or two.

I still did some street stops, couldn't help myself with these girls, that said I got a lot of polite responses, smiles of appreciation but minimal engagement after that. I think this is what hurts me the most, when they are nice, but clearly not interested, makes it feel like I am so much below them and it takes into a spiral of bad thoughts. Because I do see all different kinds of guys being with girls I would love to have, and then when you don't get even a short recognition of your masculine presence in the approach, you start feeling if something is inherently wrong with you, and no matter what you do you are just unattractive.

Anyway, don't want to get too negative, obviously when I don't have the right vibes, these kind of reactions will happen more and also affect me more as well, so it is normal. It is still a practical question though what to really focus on. I am not exactly sure right now if just cold approaching is the answer that will give me the highest returns, or I have to try something else, build my value in different ways. Since I really do feel that I don't even register as an option for a lot of the women I like, whether they have just seen me, or I have also interacted with them.

So I guess lately I have been in a pretty not giving a shit about them mood, since they are not giving a shit about me. Rarely chasing, or trying too hard, which is good, but it still doesn't make them want me any more, they just remain indifferent. At least most of the times.

Bar Makeout

Because I went out in the city and one night at a bar, I sat and ordered a drink, and suddenly the hottest girl around ( low cleavage, slutty lips ), who seemed a bit drunk as well, just sat next to me and started bothering me. Literally bumping on me, pushing me, telling me I'm weird. I had some fun with her, telling her she is just too bad and spoiled, to stop showing me her boobs and bothering me, while turning my head away from her and scrolling my phone. And god she was staying and becoming more persistent.

At some point I turned to her, we held eye contact for a second and I grabbed and kissed her, broke the kiss first and she kept kissing my neck all the way up my ear biting it in the middle of the small bar. I think we made out once more some minutes later, but eventually she left and went back to her friends. I held her neck at some point giving slight massages, but also kept dishing her, because she was really behaving like a brat, so maybe it got too much from my side and I should have tried to build more connection.

It was a pretty hard situation to pull though, my place was far and probably difficult to get her in, she was there with a group of friends that would want to protect her, and she was tipsy at least. The barman told me she was throwing herself at everyone, but I didn't really see her being sexual with anyone else, I would even say a guy from her group felt pretty envious towards me after the makeouts. So it was at least good to get a feeling of a hottie desiring me and also chasing my attention a bit. I went and brushed her cheek for goodnight while leaving, didn't feel her warming into it, so I let it go.

Date

Next day, one before leaving the city I also had a date through a dating app. Interesting one because I usually do get few matches, but when I tell them it's my last day they don't want to meet, but she was like sure let's do it. Small girl of jamaican origin, I'd say in the beginning she kept some distance and felt a bit reserved, but I think my problem with this one is that I opened her up too fast.

We sat at a bar, at a 90 degrees angle, and after talking for a bit, I started holding some intense eye contact. Maybe it was too much, but I also explained how people best connect non verbally, and I could sense our desires rising, Can't remember exactly how it progressed, I just felt it at some point and told her to come close, then brought her in and we kissed. I suppose the fact that these things are happening so naturally that I cannot even think back at the exact structure or steps I had to follow is good, because I truly felt her energy, and at the right moment I brought her in.

The issue is that things escalated a lot. Meaning she was resting with her back on me in the couch and I was playing with her hair, neck skin, all over her body in general, up to the point that I started brushing her nipples "accidentially", and after a bit I was pinching and twisting them inside the place through her clothes. And she was enjoying it a lot, the nipples got so hard she couldn't believe how visible they were through the bra. And here is my mistake, I foucused a lot on all this in public, playing with her, giving her pleasure, getting kinky, that when I proposed we go somewhere private it was too obvious what we would be going for.

So she rejected going back to hers, mine was further and I explained the situation above, and eventually we went for a walk. Sat at a bench there, but it started freezing so at some point she asked me to leave. Another mistake there is I didn't lead all the way, and after going for the walk, although we were both obviously freezing I didn't try to make another move thinking it was too early. I was also thinking for something public, but had no idea of the area or the city. Eventually she wanted to go home, so I told her it's fine, and basically went with her until her door, trying to see if I can have a last minute pull. She said no, at that point I think the rest of the things I tried, telling her how it is our only chance, and we really both enjoy it so let's continue, were mostly seen as chasing.

We parted ways with another kiss. She had told me that it felt very fast for her how close we got, how sexual and how much she opened up, probably I overwhelmed her a bit. At least she told me that I have something mysterious which I suppose is good, that I seem very proper but I have a kinky side that you wouldn't expect.

Lay

The next day I left that city, and two days later I took a fairly quick trip to a West African country. This was so random that even in the passport check they questioned why I went for vacation for a bit more than a day so far away, but I was like yolo, found cheap tickets came. So really no plans for women during that trip, I just wanted to see the area with a tour, but thinks happen when you don't expect them.

Arrived in the evening there, was staying at a touristic area, and after finding the hotel, I went to some local bar/clubs. Interesting to see how local African people party, I enjoyed their dancing vibe, and also opened some tourists and non tourists, talking or dancing. After a while, it was getting late and I was ready to leave for the hotel, when I saw one of the girls I had danced a bit with, sitting at a table alone outside. Went to talk for a second and damn she was receptive.

I had never experienced an african girl so it was quite refreshing how blunt she was. She almost instantly told me I was moving my hips like I was trying to show off my dick, and I told her she was so bad for looking at it all the time. Anyway, the sexual vibe was on extremely fast, she mentioned after a bit that she wanted to go home, I proposed a walk and we started walking.

After a minute or two she asked me something along the lines of: "What do you want?", so I pulled in and kissed her, and without delay she basically invited me to her place. Now all this was my first night in an african country so I was worried about a bunch of things, whether she wants something else, how safe all this is etc. I proposed we go to my hotel, she agreed but the guy at the reception wanted her passport.

So we left and walked to her place, not long time, but in a quieter/darker area, got in her place, it was very warm, so I used it as an excuse to take the passport and go back to my hotel. And we did that. I was very surprised in fact by how normal it was for her to be like: "Ok yeah, I'm going with this random tourist and we will fuck". No asd, no seconds thoughts, nothing.

She was telling me while walking that she wants me to have a condom, because she is trying to find someone to marry so she wants to be clean and has done her tests, and at least this relaxed me a bit. I was still very careful with my stuff when we arrived at the hotel though. We just got casually undressed both of us, she got inside the sheets and I followed. It was way less passionate and eventful than any other sex I have had in fact, I cannot explain it, like how emotionless I would imagine a sex with a prostitute to be but without reimbursement.

I also came almost instantly inside her, but this time honestly I was very anxious about it happening again that it normally happened eventually, I have to fix that. Then during the night I got hard again, woke her up and had her lick me a bit, then took her again, lasted a bit longer, but when I tried doggy she was so tight that I couldn't help it. The thing is though that through all that she just wanted to finish fast, because she was telling me I was disturbing her sleep.

Again in the morning same thing, how I did not let her sleep well, and now she has to walk in the day with these night clothes to go home and then to work with bad sleep. Very peculiar scenario, walked her out, gave her some money for a taxi, put her in and parted ways, then I also had to pay something extra for the room, because she also stayed the night. Can't say I crazily enjoyed the whole thing, but it was surely an interesting experience, I'm still struggling to understand what her whole thing was.

After that I in fact spent some time in a dinner with another girl we met in the plane going to this country. But it gave me more friendly vibes, didn't try to move it elsewhere either, since I had to go catch a flight back. She is from my area, so who knows we may meet again.

Thoughts and motivations

And the last three days as I mentioned I am back home. A bit disoriented in fact after losing my every day schedule for some days, and surely not very seduction focused when around. I suppose not particularly enjoying my latest sexual experiences due to my quick orgasms also doesn't help to crave more, and this post about our seduction motivations came at the perfect time when I was thinking what I am even going for with all this.

I know it's not mostly the sex, or even showing off. I feel that I always simply loved certain women and felt that I naturally wanted to be with them, and seduction gives me the most freedom to be with them, no matter who they are, no matter where they are. My issues start at the point that I have free access to these women, they are everywhere around, but they still don't seem to be interested back at me. It's not even that I want them only because they are hot to know I can get hot girls, it's more like I am naturally attracted to them and I feel a desire to be close to them, kiss them, carress them, hug them, fuck them. And I want to feel this same desire from them towards me as well, in a healthy exchange, something I have never really had, as it always felt I have to try crazy tricks and play games in order to get the attractive women to pay attention to me. And that is my eventual goal I suppose. To be so much in touch with myself, and free from mental burdens, that I can be able to attract these types of wonderful girls with my naturally playful and sexual personality. In a way it is a process of seeing how much I am really embodying my desires and letting my beauty flourish. Because I feel I have it, I am just sad that I am unable to communicate it well enough and connect deeply with these graceful girls that make my heart warm up.

And to close, I did one approach today, was walking back home and saw a tall blonde girl with a fur coat and two cute heels waiting for the bus. Went and approached immediately without thinking. I was drown to her, and told her she looked incredible. We stayed there not much more than a minute facing each other, she had a boyfriend, and I was a bit rusty, but I could feel the energy. Just a man and a woman together for a moment appreciating each other. Small things like this restore my hope from time to time, that it is possible to have something real with a beautiful woman and it doesn't always have to be a value battle and a struggle to make them notice you and even consider you as a sexual/romantic prospect.

 

[Will_V]

Intro

I'm surely at a pretty low point motivation wise. I think it's a mix of me travelling here and there and having my mind in other things, together with not feeling satisfied by my latest sexual experiences. I'll take it step by step though for the last two weeks, because even through all that, it somehow happened that I got laid once.

First of all from the last 14 days, I spent probably half at home, the rest away, and together with being busy and some normal tiredeness from the trips, I would say only these last 2-3 days were the ones I was free and didn't really use seduction wise as I could.

Trips and trips

I firstly went for some days to a specific big american east coast city. Hadn't been there before and was expecting it way more chaotic, but I was pleasantly surprised and enjoyed the vibe a lot. I loved the women as well, their style, their bodies, they just had a vibe.

Didn't approach consistently there, could give a bunch of excuses, like being in a hostel with no visitors allowed, or that I was running around to see stuff, but to be honest I was also not feeling at my best. In a way I am taking these trips, but they are kinda directionless, just to see the world, and it makes me feel somehow that I am drifting around with no purpose. So when I see a local to approach I have all these thoughts about what do I really offer her for a night or two.

I still did some street stops, couldn't help myself with these girls, that said I got a lot of polite responses, smiles of appreciation but minimal engagement after that. I think this is what hurts me the most, when they are nice, but clearly not interested, makes it feel like I am so much below them and it takes into a spiral of bad thoughts. Because I do see all different kinds of guys being with girls I would love to have, and then when you don't get even a short recognition of your masculine presence in the approach, you start feeling if something is inherently wrong with you, and no matter what you do you are just unattractive.

Anyway, don't want to get too negative, obviously when I don't have the right vibes, these kind of reactions will happen more and also affect me more as well, so it is normal. It is still a practical question though what to really focus on. I am not exactly sure right now if just cold approaching is the answer that will give me the highest returns, or I have to try something else, build my value in different ways. Since I really do feel that I don't even register as an option for a lot of the women I like, whether they have just seen me, or I have also interacted with them.

So I guess lately I have been in a pretty not giving a shit about them mood, since they are not giving a shit about me. Rarely chasing, or trying too hard, which is good, but it still doesn't make them want me any more, they just remain indifferent. At least most of the times.

Bar Makeout

Because I went out in the city and one night at a bar, I sat and ordered a drink, and suddenly the hottest girl around ( low cleavage, slutty lips ), who seemed a bit drunk as well, just sat next to me and started bothering me. Literally bumping on me, pushing me, telling me I'm weird. I had some fun with her, telling her she is just too bad and spoiled, to stop showing me her boobs and bothering me, while turning my head away from her and scrolling my phone. And god she was staying and becoming more persistent.

At some point I turned to her, we held eye contact for a second and I grabbed and kissed her, broke the kiss first and she kept kissing my neck all the way up my ear biting it in the middle of the small bar. I think we made out once more some minutes later, but eventually she left and went back to her friends. I held her neck at some point giving slight massages, but also kept dishing her, because she was really behaving like a brat, so maybe it got too much from my side and I should have tried to build more connection.

It was a pretty hard situation to pull though, my place was far and probably difficult to get her in, she was there with a group of friends that would want to protect her, and she was tipsy at least. The barman told me she was throwing herself at everyone, but I didn't really see her being sexual with anyone else, I would even say a guy from her group felt pretty envious towards me after the makeouts. So it was at least good to get a feeling of a hottie desiring me and also chasing my attention a bit. I went and brushed her cheek for goodnight while leaving, didn't feel her warming into it, so I let it go.

Date

Next day, one before leaving the city I also had a date through a dating app. Interesting one because I usually do get few matches, but when I tell them it's my last day they don't want to meet, but she was like sure let's do it. Small girl of jamaican origin, I'd say in the beginning she kept some distance and felt a bit reserved, but I think my problem with this one is that I opened her up too fast.

We sat at a bar, at a 90 degrees angle, and after talking for a bit, I started holding some intense eye contact. Maybe it was too much, but I also explained how people best connect non verbally, and I could sense our desires rising, Can't remember exactly how it progressed, I just felt it at some point and told her to come close, then brought her in and we kissed. I suppose the fact that these things are happening so naturally that I cannot even think back at the exact structure or steps I had to follow is good, because I truly felt her energy, and at the right moment I brought her in.

The issue is that things escalated a lot. Meaning she was resting with her back on me in the couch and I was playing with her hair, neck skin, all over her body in general, up to the point that I started brushing her nipples "accidentially", and after a bit I was pinching and twisting them inside the place through her clothes. And she was enjoying it a lot, the nipples got so hard she couldn't believe how visible they were through the bra. And here is my mistake, I foucused a lot on all this in public, playing with her, giving her pleasure, getting kinky, that when I proposed we go somewhere private it was too obvious what we would be going for.

So she rejected going back to hers, mine was further and I explained the situation above, and eventually we went for a walk. Sat at a bench there, but it started freezing so at some point she asked me to leave. Another mistake there is I didn't lead all the way, and after going for the walk, although we were both obviously freezing I didn't try to make another move thinking it was too early. I was also thinking for something public, but had no idea of the area or the city. Eventually she wanted to go home, so I told her it's fine, and basically went with her until her door, trying to see if I can have a last minute pull. She said no, at that point I think the rest of the things I tried, telling her how it is our only chance, and we really both enjoy it so let's continue, were mostly seen as chasing.

We parted ways with another kiss. She had told me that it felt very fast for her how close we got, how sexual and how much she opened up, probably I overwhelmed her a bit. At least she told me that I have something mysterious which I suppose is good, that I seem very proper but I have a kinky side that you wouldn't expect.

Lay

The next day I left that city, and two days later I took a fairly quick trip to a West African country. This was so random that even in the passport check they questioned why I went for vacation for a bit more than a day so far away, but I was like yolo, found cheap tickets came. So really no plans for women during that trip, I just wanted to see the area with a tour, but thinks happen when you don't expect them.

Arrived in the evening there, was staying at a touristic area, and after finding the hotel, I went to some local bar/clubs. Interesting to see how local African people party, I enjoyed their dancing vibe, and also opened some tourists and non tourists, talking or dancing. After a while, it was getting late and I was ready to leave for the hotel, when I saw one of the girls I had danced a bit with, sitting at a table alone outside. Went to talk for a second and damn she was receptive.

I had never experienced an african girl so it was quite refreshing how blunt she was. She almost instantly told me I was moving my hips like I was trying to show off my dick, and I told her she was so bad for looking at it all the time. Anyway, the sexual vibe was on extremely fast, she mentioned after a bit that she wanted to go home, I proposed a walk and we started walking.

After a minute or two she asked me something along the lines of: "What do you want?", so I pulled in and kissed her, and without delay she basically invited me to her place. Now all this was my first night in an african country so I was worried about a bunch of things, whether she wants something else, how safe all this is etc. I proposed we go to my hotel, she agreed but the guy at the reception wanted her passport.

So we left and walked to her place, not long time, but in a quieter/darker area, got in her place, it was very warm, so I used it as an excuse to take the passport and go back to my hotel. And we did that. I was very surprised in fact by how normal it was for her to be like: "Ok yeah, I'm going with this random tourist and we will fuck". No asd, no seconds thoughts, nothing.

She was telling me while walking that she wants me to have a condom, because she is trying to find someone to marry so she wants to be clean and has done her tests, and at least this relaxed me a bit. I was still very careful with my stuff when we arrived at the hotel though. We just got casually undressed both of us, she got inside the sheets and I followed. It was way less passionate and eventful than any other sex I have had in fact, I cannot explain it, like how emotionless I would imagine a sex with a prostitute to be but without reimbursement.

I also came almost instantly inside her, but this time honestly I was very anxious about it happening again that it normally happened eventually, I have to fix that. Then during the night I got hard again, woke her up and had her lick me a bit, then took her again, lasted a bit longer, but when I tried doggy she was so tight that I couldn't help it. The thing is though that through all that she just wanted to finish fast, because she was telling me I was disturbing her sleep.

Again in the morning same thing, how I did not let her sleep well, and now she has to walk in the day with these night clothes to go home and then to work with bad sleep. Very peculiar scenario, walked her out, gave her some money for a taxi, put her in and parted ways, then I also had to pay something extra for the room, because she also stayed the night. Can't say I crazily enjoyed the whole thing, but it was surely an interesting experience, I'm still struggling to understand what her whole thing was.

After that I in fact spent some time in a dinner with another girl we met in the plane going to this country. But it gave me more friendly vibes, didn't try to move it elsewhere either, since I had to go catch a flight back. She is from my area, so who knows we may meet again.

Thoughts and motivations

And the last three days as I mentioned I am back home. A bit disoriented in fact after losing my every day schedule for some days, and surely not very seduction focused when around. I suppose not particularly enjoying my latest sexual experiences due to my quick orgasms also doesn't help to crave more, and this post about our seduction motivations came at the perfect time when I was thinking what I am even going for with all this.

I know it's not mostly the sex, or even showing off. I feel that I always simply loved certain women and felt that I naturally wanted to be with them, and seduction gives me the most freedom to be with them, no matter who they are, no matter where they are. My issues start at the point that I have free access to these women, they are everywhere around, but they still don't seem to be interested back at me. It's not even that I want them only because they are hot to know I can get hot girls, it's more like I am naturally attracted to them and I feel a desire to be close to them, kiss them, carress them, hug them, fuck them. And I want to feel this same desire from them towards me as well, in a healthy exchange, something I have never really had, as it always felt I have to try crazy tricks and play games in order to get the attractive women to pay attention to me. And that is my eventual goal I suppose. To be so much in touch with myself, and free from mental burdens, that I can be able to attract these types of wonderful girls with my naturally playful and sexual personality. In a way it is a process of seeing how much I am really embodying my desires and letting my beauty flourish. Because I feel I have it, I am just sad that I am unable to communicate it well enough and connect deeply with these graceful girls that make my heart warm up.

And to close, I did one approach today, was walking back home and saw a tall blonde girl with a fur coat and two cute heels waiting for the bus. Went and approached immediately without thinking. I was drown to her, and told her she looked incredible. We stayed there not much more than a minute facing each other, she had a boyfriend, and I was a bit rusty, but I could feel the energy. Just a man and a woman together for a moment appreciating each other. Small things like this restore my hope from time to time, that it is possible to have something real with a beautiful woman and it doesn't always have to be a value battle and a struggle to make them notice you and even consider you as a sexual/romantic prospect.

Had a read of your last couple of posts. Man, you know at this point you can get sex, the question is, how are you going to live life the way you want to?

I have a sense that you are trying to express a certain side of your personality with girls, but it's not being expressed anywhere else in your life. If you are charmed by girls, are you charmed by life? Are you charmed by your own adventures, your own experiences? Are you living out the character of your internal world, in the real world?

You can't turn on and off your own charm (which is a function of how your reality charms you), it exists in your vicinity every moment or not at all. Women only magnify what already exists, they are like a pretty little mirror pointed back at you, showing you your own face.

You're walking around clenching on your own self, and then trying to free it when you're with her, and it either doesn't come out or it all comes out uncontrolled. It's time to live your own life gracefully and well, to be the person already that you wish to be with her. Then she will reflect it back to you, and being with her will not require self-control because you are already used to being that person.

You're making progress. All the best!

 

[gameboy]

Man you're doing awesome. Lots of men would be jealous of your lifestyle, and lots more can't do what you do when they see a hot girl.

Have you considered aiming to get a FB for a while? Or even a girlfriend? It's a completely different experience from one-off lays.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Man, you know at this point you can get sex

What I think is I don't know that I could get sex with the girls that I would really want to, and this keeps me unsatisfied. For example I've had it sometimes that I am out in a date or even just at a bar talking with a girl, I notice another one that I like way more being around, and I start thinking why I can't be with that girl and I am seducing this one that I don't like that much.

The obvious answer till now has been that I am doing it as a practice, to improve my skills, and because I can't only be approaching the hottest girls ever and noone else, I won't have enough reference points. But after a while you start thinking, that damn I'd like to be able to have one of these girls at some point as well.

So basically I know that just having more sex won't be enough, what I enjoy most in fact is that it lets me know I can get all the way to sex, so when meeting even more beautiful women I would have a higher probability of succeeding with them, which is what matters. Not to say that I don't appreciate my time with all the women, I simply realise that a lot of them are a stepping stone for something bigger.

Now the real problem is that I am probably sabotaging myself when it comes to the girls I like more. Not by not approaching or anything, but I feel that I am autorejecting because I can't believe that they would eventually want to be with me, if they got to know me more. And with other girls I don't have this problem, since I don't even care about them knowing me more, but with the ones I imagine playing a bigger part in my life it is an issue.

For example I was in a date once with what I would consider close to a personal ten, and I was giving her so much shit, trying to show I am above her somehow. Of course I never heard of her again, and I realise I just couldn't believe that a girl that seemed as great as her externally and internally would eventually be interested in me, so I had to somehow bring her down and make her flawed.

Which ties perfectly with this:

how are you going to live life the way you want to?

I have a sense that you are trying to express a certain side of your personality with girls, but it's not being expressed anywhere else in your life. If you are charmed by girls, are you charmed by life?

It does feel sometimes that seduction is something I separately do that sets me free and lets me get girls to bed, but I wouldn't be that comfortable showing them my everyday life. I guess I have not found something that is particularly charming me in life? I have been wondering about purpose and what to pursue in general for some time now, but I don't seem to find an answer. For example I was thinking about this question that they tell you to ask yourself: "What would you do if you had one year to live?", in order to find what is important to me, and what I could mainly think is travel and pick up girls, maybe with some other activities in between that would give me better access to these girls like dancing, modelling, acting etc.

In a way I have felt for a while that no matter what I do in life, it is kinda pointless, no matter how good I get at it, if at the same time someone else is fucking the girls I would want to be with. So I wanted to get to the point that I can seduce these girls and then focus on making great things, since until then I won't even be motivated to give back to humanity.

You're walking around clenching on your own self, and then trying to free it when you're with her, and it either doesn't come out or it all comes out uncontrolled. It's time to live your own life gracefully and well, to be the person already that you wish to be with her. Then she will reflect it back to you, and being with her will not require self-control because you are already used to being that person.

So I do agree with this, that's why I said that probably there are things beyond cold approaching that can contribute immensely to my dating life as well. So we go back to the question what is my version of living my life gracefully as the person I would like to be with her. If there is any recommendation regarding where to look for that or how to approach it I would truly appreciate it. It doesn't seem till now that just looking inside me has given me answers. Maybe they are there, but I don't see them, I don't know for sure, but beyond simple things like taking care of my health, being authentic and independent I don't have any particular goals in mind.

I suppose in order to achieve even these things, there are things you should be doing. For example working hard to become financially independent and deriving satisfaction from that. But then it makes me think I spend my time to make money in order to spend it on what? The girls will still not deeply like me even if I have money and am successful, so why even focus on it. It's probably a flawed thought, that said I am truly struggling to find something that would give me meaning day by day, so that if I meet an amazing girl, I can show her what I am doing and know that I am genuinely satisfied with my life and when she comes into it, it will be a good ride.

You're making progress. All the best!

And thanks for that! At least yes, it does feel that some things are becoming a bit more natural and intuitive and less try hard. Still moving forward!