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Yeah when I saw her smile it made me want to stay in set actually, she looked so cute all of a sudden (before she was just hot lol)
Next time I'll know better!
Next time I'll know better!
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- Nov 7, 2023
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I'm still not in a mood to day game. Construction situation at home is stressing me out.
In the evening I went for a bike ride along the beach anyway, and checked to see if they were any lonely girls around waiting for me. No such luck though. Instead I got policeman stopped myself.
Two plain cloth police, stopped me while riding on the sand. They asked me questions like "Have you ever been arrested" (no), then told me I look like someone else who they're looking for and at first they said I could go. Then they apparently changed their mind and wanted my ID. Told me they saw me riding around here the other day. I said I come here a lot. They wanted to know where I live and what I do, then after having my ID checked and seeing that I've indeed never been arrested they let me go. They even apologized for the inconvencience.
There's lots of police on the beach. That's a good thing because there are also lots of thieves who will relieve unsuspecting tourists of their stuff. I've always wondered if they see me and are wondering what I'm doing here, since I come to the beach pretty much every day and ride around a lot.
I think that's also what the encounter was about the other day with the weird girl who only was interested in whether I smoke.
I almost forgot, on my way back I managed to get one opener in. It was situational, with a girl pushing an electric scooter. I passed her by, then said "Good thing we're pushing our vehicles because the police just passed us by." She replied but without much emotion, and when I followed up she seemed more interested in her phone than in having a conversation. Not a big loss, wasn't a hottie. But at least I avoided the big zero.
In the evening I went for a bike ride along the beach anyway, and checked to see if they were any lonely girls around waiting for me. No such luck though. Instead I got policeman stopped myself.
Two plain cloth police, stopped me while riding on the sand. They asked me questions like "Have you ever been arrested" (no), then told me I look like someone else who they're looking for and at first they said I could go. Then they apparently changed their mind and wanted my ID. Told me they saw me riding around here the other day. I said I come here a lot. They wanted to know where I live and what I do, then after having my ID checked and seeing that I've indeed never been arrested they let me go. They even apologized for the inconvencience.
There's lots of police on the beach. That's a good thing because there are also lots of thieves who will relieve unsuspecting tourists of their stuff. I've always wondered if they see me and are wondering what I'm doing here, since I come to the beach pretty much every day and ride around a lot.
I think that's also what the encounter was about the other day with the weird girl who only was interested in whether I smoke.
I almost forgot, on my way back I managed to get one opener in. It was situational, with a girl pushing an electric scooter. I passed her by, then said "Good thing we're pushing our vehicles because the police just passed us by." She replied but without much emotion, and when I followed up she seemed more interested in her phone than in having a conversation. Not a big loss, wasn't a hottie. But at least I avoided the big zero.
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- Nov 7, 2023
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Today I wasn't in a great mood. Feeling lots of anxiety. Not approach anxiety, more the general kind.
I'm glad I did some, albeit small, approaches anyway. The first one was right when I arrived at the beach. Saw a 2-set of young but cute looking girls come at me, and did the favorite color opener on the one closest to me. She just kind of snorted, looked back at her phone and kept walking. I called after her "Black?" because they were both dressed in black. I think she said "Yeah it's allright" but didn't turn around.
Felt good to get the first approach out of the way! Even though it was a rejection. Shortly after, I saw a cute girl in a 3F set, smiling or laughing. I saw she had lots of tattoos. I turned away for a while, then turned towards them again. They were walking and catching up with me (I was on the bike). When she was close I asked her "What's your tattoo say?" gesturing at the area below my neck, because that's where she had some sort of inscription. She told me, in English but with a strong accent. I repeated the parts that I understood, and she told me the phrase in the local langauge. I said "Oh, okay" or somehing, and she said "Thank you!", turning back toward me in a really friendly way. But her friends kept walking so she went with them.
This one was fun! it really was a highlight of the day. I went swimming and on the beach I found only one single girl, but unattractive. I really should do more openers back to back, because it's better once you gain some momentum.
I did some other stuff in the afternoon, then returned to the beach in the evening. There were some single girls but my AA was back, or they weren't all that attractive. Maybe a bit of both.
Later I did another one, it wasn't really intended to be an approach but it ended up feeling like one. I came to a place where the street was cordoned off and there was lots of police. I wanted to know what's going on, and asked a girl walking by. She said she doesn't know, but didn't really look at me and wouldn't stop walking.
I ended up asking a dude and turns out there was some kind of run going on.
Going home alone again... the days are getting shorter and I could really use some female company. I think tomorrow I'll try to do more openers back to back and get some momentum going. (Unless the first one hooks of course... or maybe even then.)
I'm glad I did some, albeit small, approaches anyway. The first one was right when I arrived at the beach. Saw a 2-set of young but cute looking girls come at me, and did the favorite color opener on the one closest to me. She just kind of snorted, looked back at her phone and kept walking. I called after her "Black?" because they were both dressed in black. I think she said "Yeah it's allright" but didn't turn around.
Felt good to get the first approach out of the way! Even though it was a rejection. Shortly after, I saw a cute girl in a 3F set, smiling or laughing. I saw she had lots of tattoos. I turned away for a while, then turned towards them again. They were walking and catching up with me (I was on the bike). When she was close I asked her "What's your tattoo say?" gesturing at the area below my neck, because that's where she had some sort of inscription. She told me, in English but with a strong accent. I repeated the parts that I understood, and she told me the phrase in the local langauge. I said "Oh, okay" or somehing, and she said "Thank you!", turning back toward me in a really friendly way. But her friends kept walking so she went with them.
This one was fun! it really was a highlight of the day. I went swimming and on the beach I found only one single girl, but unattractive. I really should do more openers back to back, because it's better once you gain some momentum.
I did some other stuff in the afternoon, then returned to the beach in the evening. There were some single girls but my AA was back, or they weren't all that attractive. Maybe a bit of both.
Later I did another one, it wasn't really intended to be an approach but it ended up feeling like one. I came to a place where the street was cordoned off and there was lots of police. I wanted to know what's going on, and asked a girl walking by. She said she doesn't know, but didn't really look at me and wouldn't stop walking.
I ended up asking a dude and turns out there was some kind of run going on.
Going home alone again... the days are getting shorter and I could really use some female company. I think tomorrow I'll try to do more openers back to back and get some momentum going. (Unless the first one hooks of course... or maybe even then.)
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- Jul 31, 2023
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Yeah some days end up being like that, I've had them this week myself. I'd say sometimes I am even fine if I don't do any approaches. As long as this doesn't keep happening for days, having a day off does not hurt that much.
And we are not machines anyway. But congrats for still going out and pushing. I feel that after some days like this it just becomes part of your reality to approach anyway.
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- Nov 7, 2023
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It actually makes the day much better!
Though I agree days off are also necessary. Sometimes I'm just not feeling it.
But when I'm in a funk, like today, and do an approach or two, it actually lifts my mood at least for a while.
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Did a few approaches today.
Girl #1
Warmup: Favorte color opener with a cute girl standing by herself in the street. She was a bit young though. She said green, I said green is mine too, she gave me a sort of forced smile but then looked back down at her phone.
Girl #2
On the beach I saw a girl sitting near the shore and writing. I walked around near the water a bit, then turned around. Saw her looking at me but quickly look down. I waited for a few seconds more, then walked over to her and asked her "Are you studying?" she said no, just writing. I asked if it was poetry, she said not quite but something similar.
I told her I thought she was pretty and wanted to talk to her, she smiles and says thanks. I ask her name, give her mine and shake her hand.
I then asked her where she's from, turns out she's a local. I asked her if she studies here and she says yes, I ask what, she tells me. I tell her I studied something similar. Then I asked her what she likes best about this city. First she says everything, then I push her a bit and she says the beach. I tell her I agree.
The conversation stalls a little, I can tell she's just being nice but not really hooking. So I tell her "Nice to meet you", and then do the soft close "Do you want to go for a coffee some time?" She tells me she has a boyfriend. I'm like, okay then, enjoy your day! She thanks me and says goodbye.
In the heat of the moment I forgot pretty much all seduction stuff in the heat of the moment, and did boring interview style questions... Forgot all about qualifying, teasing and all that.
In hindsight when she told me what she studies I should have said "Oh no, how boring, not another one! I should know, I did the same" or something of that nature.
Also qualified her on her writing, and asked if she's inspired by the sea... stuff like that
It's incredible how much you forget in the field! Nontheless it was a fun interaction, the girl was really sweet but probably way too young for me. (I bet there must be some young girls though that like themselves an older guy.)
Girl #3
Walked along the beach looking for a spot to settle down and go for a swim, since the waves wee really nice today. Come across a really attractive girl with long black hair, sitting by herself with earphones. As I walk by she throws her head back. I've never really seen this movement in action. Chase talks a lot about brushing her hair back, or throwing her hair back, but I couldn't quite tell if this was an IOI... nevertheless I put my towel down in the vicinity and went for a swim.
As I walk to the water I see her glancing at me out of the corner of her eye and smiling. She really seems to be interested! I enjoy the waves for a while, looking over once in a while and trying to decide whether to open her right when I get out of the water, or a bit latter. Suddenly a guy appears and says something to her, and puts his stuff right next to her. Then he goes for a swim too! It looks like he asked her if she can watch his stuff while he's swimming.
I get out and dry off in the sun. The guy also comes out of the water eventually and just sits next to her, but without talking! I can see the tension from where I am. The girl glances over at me from time to time, but now with this guy next to her I'm not approaching. Eventually I think she opens him.
This guy must be reading girlschase! Which one of you was it?!?!
I was too slow. I see the girl talking to him excitedly. Her body and legs are actually pointed towards him, while he sits there facing out towards the sea. He just turns his head a little toward her to talk to her not his full body.
This guy is really making her chase! I've never seen this work in action. Unless they knew each other from before, which I doubt but I might be wrong.
Eventually I leave, and they are still talking, with the girl smiling a lot. Goddamn she could have been mine! Though I have to admit this guy had game. If he was indeed gaming her.
Girl #4
Didn't see too many other single girls. Come across one that's by herself, but I decide she's too big for me. She's pretty, and has a beautiful body, but when she gets up I see she has a huge ass. Not fat, just a lot larger than what I go for.
She walks to the water and looks like she's getting in, but then walks back to her spot.
I walk to her and ask her "Was it too cold?" and she tells me that she's afraid of the waves. I tease her a bit, we laugh but then I walk on.
Girl #5
A girl walking towards me on the shore, with headphones in. Cute, but not super hot. I say "Hello" to her in a loud voice when close, but she ignores me.
Conclusion
Girl 2 was the most fun today. I'm glad I attempted the soft close, but I could have been a bit more flirty. This girl was really cute.
Girl 3 was hot but I was too damn slow! Gotta be faster... but I'm a stubborn son of a bitch, when I set my mind on doing something (like going for a swim) then I do it... I should make exception for hot girls though!
Oh and girl #4 was also quite nice. I should have talked to her some more. I honestly didn't expect her to be so receptive.
So what I learned today... 1. be flirty 2. open asap 3. stay in set
There's really a steep learning curve to this! It's not like once you can open you got it made... not at all.
Girl #1
Warmup: Favorte color opener with a cute girl standing by herself in the street. She was a bit young though. She said green, I said green is mine too, she gave me a sort of forced smile but then looked back down at her phone.
Girl #2
On the beach I saw a girl sitting near the shore and writing. I walked around near the water a bit, then turned around. Saw her looking at me but quickly look down. I waited for a few seconds more, then walked over to her and asked her "Are you studying?" she said no, just writing. I asked if it was poetry, she said not quite but something similar.
I told her I thought she was pretty and wanted to talk to her, she smiles and says thanks. I ask her name, give her mine and shake her hand.
I then asked her where she's from, turns out she's a local. I asked her if she studies here and she says yes, I ask what, she tells me. I tell her I studied something similar. Then I asked her what she likes best about this city. First she says everything, then I push her a bit and she says the beach. I tell her I agree.
The conversation stalls a little, I can tell she's just being nice but not really hooking. So I tell her "Nice to meet you", and then do the soft close "Do you want to go for a coffee some time?" She tells me she has a boyfriend. I'm like, okay then, enjoy your day! She thanks me and says goodbye.
In the heat of the moment I forgot pretty much all seduction stuff in the heat of the moment, and did boring interview style questions... Forgot all about qualifying, teasing and all that.
In hindsight when she told me what she studies I should have said "Oh no, how boring, not another one! I should know, I did the same" or something of that nature.
Also qualified her on her writing, and asked if she's inspired by the sea... stuff like that
It's incredible how much you forget in the field! Nontheless it was a fun interaction, the girl was really sweet but probably way too young for me. (I bet there must be some young girls though that like themselves an older guy.)
Girl #3
Walked along the beach looking for a spot to settle down and go for a swim, since the waves wee really nice today. Come across a really attractive girl with long black hair, sitting by herself with earphones. As I walk by she throws her head back. I've never really seen this movement in action. Chase talks a lot about brushing her hair back, or throwing her hair back, but I couldn't quite tell if this was an IOI... nevertheless I put my towel down in the vicinity and went for a swim.
As I walk to the water I see her glancing at me out of the corner of her eye and smiling. She really seems to be interested! I enjoy the waves for a while, looking over once in a while and trying to decide whether to open her right when I get out of the water, or a bit latter. Suddenly a guy appears and says something to her, and puts his stuff right next to her. Then he goes for a swim too! It looks like he asked her if she can watch his stuff while he's swimming.
I get out and dry off in the sun. The guy also comes out of the water eventually and just sits next to her, but without talking! I can see the tension from where I am. The girl glances over at me from time to time, but now with this guy next to her I'm not approaching. Eventually I think she opens him.
This guy must be reading girlschase! Which one of you was it?!?!
I was too slow. I see the girl talking to him excitedly. Her body and legs are actually pointed towards him, while he sits there facing out towards the sea. He just turns his head a little toward her to talk to her not his full body.
This guy is really making her chase! I've never seen this work in action. Unless they knew each other from before, which I doubt but I might be wrong.
Eventually I leave, and they are still talking, with the girl smiling a lot. Goddamn she could have been mine! Though I have to admit this guy had game. If he was indeed gaming her.
Girl #4
Didn't see too many other single girls. Come across one that's by herself, but I decide she's too big for me. She's pretty, and has a beautiful body, but when she gets up I see she has a huge ass. Not fat, just a lot larger than what I go for.
She walks to the water and looks like she's getting in, but then walks back to her spot.
I walk to her and ask her "Was it too cold?" and she tells me that she's afraid of the waves. I tease her a bit, we laugh but then I walk on.
Girl #5
A girl walking towards me on the shore, with headphones in. Cute, but not super hot. I say "Hello" to her in a loud voice when close, but she ignores me.
Conclusion
Girl 2 was the most fun today. I'm glad I attempted the soft close, but I could have been a bit more flirty. This girl was really cute.
Girl 3 was hot but I was too damn slow! Gotta be faster... but I'm a stubborn son of a bitch, when I set my mind on doing something (like going for a swim) then I do it... I should make exception for hot girls though!
Oh and girl #4 was also quite nice. I should have talked to her some more. I honestly didn't expect her to be so receptive.
So what I learned today... 1. be flirty 2. open asap 3. stay in set
There's really a steep learning curve to this! It's not like once you can open you got it made... not at all.
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- Joined
- Jun 17, 2022
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- 322
Great lessons today!
Girls 3 def seems like she was open to meet somebody. Same scenario happened to me a few times too - but hey, gotta move faster. Btw a couple of these guys i saw approaching were 60+, so props to them for going for it.
Girl 4 seemed also open. I also eject too quickly sometimes - better stay in set longer and squeeze as much exp out of it as possible.
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- Nov 7, 2023
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- 981
Just one approach today, but I went all the way.
Saw a slim girl with a dark tan lying on the beach, looking at her phone. I could only see her from behind, but she looked quite young.
Walked past her and stood in front of her for a short while so as not to open from behind. I then turned around and asked her, in the local language, "Excuse me, are you from here?" She didn't understand so I asked her in English where she was from. She took her headphones out and told me. Seemes quite receptive. I crouched next to her for a while and asked her if she was on holiday, she said she was travelling. I told her I thought she looked nice and wanted to talk to her, I'm not sure what her reaction was but it wasn't super excited. When I asked her how long she's staying, she told me it's her last day here.
Often when girls tell me that, I find it feels like, "don't bother talking to me, I'm gone soon anyway". As if they were telling me they're not interested.
I kept talking to her regardless, and asked her what she liked best here, and where she would live if she could live anywhere in the world. She said this country is nice, and I agreed with her (obviously).
She did ask me one or two questions back, I remember she asked me if I grew up here. But it didn't really feel like a hook. She looked down once or twice and said things like "OK" as if to end the conversation.
After a while I decided to go for the close even though I didn't have high hopes. I asked her again if it's her last day, she confirmed, and I asked her if she had any plans for the last night. She told me she's meeting up with a guy friend who's at the hostel now. So basically a soft next. I said "So I can't invite you to anything tonight?" and she said no (essentially. I don't remember her exact words.)
I said I'm getting the vibe that she wants to be alone, and she said it's because she's around people all the time. So I told her it was nice getting to know her, and to enjoy her stay. Then walked on. I did feel proud of myself for having remembered to go for the close anyway!
TAKEAWAYS
I'm happy how I walked up to a girl I found hot, pretty boldly, even though I was expecting her to be a young local who more likely than not would want nothing to do with me. Even though there have been exceptions. Actually I think that's a limiting belief of mine.
In fact I was pleasantly surprised by this girl's receptiveness, but of course travelling girls in general tend to be more open to meet people. But it made me want to open more girls of the hotter kind
(I found this girls' body hot. Though talking to her I did find her a bit... don't know, I don't want to say mediocre because she was quite nice and I'm sure she's a cool person. But the spark just wasn't there.)
I'm also glad I finally remembered to ask her plans for the evening. I used to forget doing this.
I probably should have been more flirty still. I made good eye contact and held her hand a bit longer after introducing myself, but she withdrew first. I should have done some cold reads or qualification.
I wish I could have done more approaches! But I didn't see any other good opportunities until the sun was down.
AFTER SUNDOWN (non-approach)
I saw a girl from behind, sitting near the shore looking out at the moon. I liked her long red hair, so I parked my bike and walked down to the seaside. There was another girl sitting there, this one with very long black hair, also looking out at the moon.
It was dark already, so I couldn't see their faces well and couldn't gauge their attractiveness, or their openness to be approached.
I sat there for quite a while, looking at the sea and the moon, it was indeed beautiful. But since there were two girls, I couldn't decide which one I wanted to open, and ended up opening neither.
Saw a slim girl with a dark tan lying on the beach, looking at her phone. I could only see her from behind, but she looked quite young.
Walked past her and stood in front of her for a short while so as not to open from behind. I then turned around and asked her, in the local language, "Excuse me, are you from here?" She didn't understand so I asked her in English where she was from. She took her headphones out and told me. Seemes quite receptive. I crouched next to her for a while and asked her if she was on holiday, she said she was travelling. I told her I thought she looked nice and wanted to talk to her, I'm not sure what her reaction was but it wasn't super excited. When I asked her how long she's staying, she told me it's her last day here.
Often when girls tell me that, I find it feels like, "don't bother talking to me, I'm gone soon anyway". As if they were telling me they're not interested.
I kept talking to her regardless, and asked her what she liked best here, and where she would live if she could live anywhere in the world. She said this country is nice, and I agreed with her (obviously).
She did ask me one or two questions back, I remember she asked me if I grew up here. But it didn't really feel like a hook. She looked down once or twice and said things like "OK" as if to end the conversation.
After a while I decided to go for the close even though I didn't have high hopes. I asked her again if it's her last day, she confirmed, and I asked her if she had any plans for the last night. She told me she's meeting up with a guy friend who's at the hostel now. So basically a soft next. I said "So I can't invite you to anything tonight?" and she said no (essentially. I don't remember her exact words.)
I said I'm getting the vibe that she wants to be alone, and she said it's because she's around people all the time. So I told her it was nice getting to know her, and to enjoy her stay. Then walked on. I did feel proud of myself for having remembered to go for the close anyway!
TAKEAWAYS
I'm happy how I walked up to a girl I found hot, pretty boldly, even though I was expecting her to be a young local who more likely than not would want nothing to do with me. Even though there have been exceptions. Actually I think that's a limiting belief of mine.
In fact I was pleasantly surprised by this girl's receptiveness, but of course travelling girls in general tend to be more open to meet people. But it made me want to open more girls of the hotter kind
(I found this girls' body hot. Though talking to her I did find her a bit... don't know, I don't want to say mediocre because she was quite nice and I'm sure she's a cool person. But the spark just wasn't there.)I'm also glad I finally remembered to ask her plans for the evening. I used to forget doing this.
I probably should have been more flirty still. I made good eye contact and held her hand a bit longer after introducing myself, but she withdrew first. I should have done some cold reads or qualification.
I wish I could have done more approaches! But I didn't see any other good opportunities until the sun was down.
AFTER SUNDOWN (non-approach)
I saw a girl from behind, sitting near the shore looking out at the moon. I liked her long red hair, so I parked my bike and walked down to the seaside. There was another girl sitting there, this one with very long black hair, also looking out at the moon.
It was dark already, so I couldn't see their faces well and couldn't gauge their attractiveness, or their openness to be approached.
I sat there for quite a while, looking at the sea and the moon, it was indeed beautiful. But since there were two girls, I couldn't decide which one I wanted to open, and ended up opening neither.
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- Nov 7, 2023
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- 981
Yesterday:
Opened a 2 or 3-set of girls lying next to me on the beach. I heard them talking my language and guessed the region where they were from. I was completely wrong, but I still chatted them up for a while. They didn't hook though and didn't ask me many questions back, if at all. In the end I let the conversation die down and just said bye when I left.
There was a 2-set of girls right behind me who were looking at me a lot after the first interaction. I found it awkward to open them while the first girls were still in earshot. However, today I'm thinking they probably wanted me to talk to them because they had seen I'm a sociable and friendly guy.
Today:
Very cloudy, not really beach weather and accordingly it was quite empty. I just went there for a walk and came across one very young looking girl, with a bit of acne in her face. I walked past her first, but on my way back she was still there and I decided to talk to her and just see what happens.
I asked her if she's local, she didn't understand me so I asked in English were she's from. Turns out she's quite open. She's an Egyptian, but living in Germany. I crouched down next to her and chatted her up a bit. Teased her for having brought the bad weather from Germany, and poked her in the arm. She did smile at that. After a while I asked her if it's okay if I sit with her, and she made an evasive grimace (as in no, but not wanting to be impolite). I told her I'll only be five minutes then i have to go.
Talked to her some more, but after a few minutes it started to rain and we both left. I had to be somewhere alter, so I didn't wait until she had gathered all her stuff.
I'm realizing I find it hard to not go directly into interview mode. Especially if the girls are a bit reserved and not giving me much to work with.
Glad I'm doing at least one approach per day. It's getting easier and easier, and mostly the receptions are warm or at least polite. But one approach per day is really only maintenance mode. It would be great to get some momentum going and do like 4 per day or so.
Opened a 2 or 3-set of girls lying next to me on the beach. I heard them talking my language and guessed the region where they were from. I was completely wrong, but I still chatted them up for a while. They didn't hook though and didn't ask me many questions back, if at all. In the end I let the conversation die down and just said bye when I left.
There was a 2-set of girls right behind me who were looking at me a lot after the first interaction. I found it awkward to open them while the first girls were still in earshot. However, today I'm thinking they probably wanted me to talk to them because they had seen I'm a sociable and friendly guy.
Today:
Very cloudy, not really beach weather and accordingly it was quite empty. I just went there for a walk and came across one very young looking girl, with a bit of acne in her face. I walked past her first, but on my way back she was still there and I decided to talk to her and just see what happens.
I asked her if she's local, she didn't understand me so I asked in English were she's from. Turns out she's quite open. She's an Egyptian, but living in Germany. I crouched down next to her and chatted her up a bit. Teased her for having brought the bad weather from Germany, and poked her in the arm. She did smile at that. After a while I asked her if it's okay if I sit with her, and she made an evasive grimace (as in no, but not wanting to be impolite). I told her I'll only be five minutes then i have to go.
Talked to her some more, but after a few minutes it started to rain and we both left. I had to be somewhere alter, so I didn't wait until she had gathered all her stuff.
I'm realizing I find it hard to not go directly into interview mode. Especially if the girls are a bit reserved and not giving me much to work with.
Glad I'm doing at least one approach per day. It's getting easier and easier, and mostly the receptions are warm or at least polite. But one approach per day is really only maintenance mode. It would be great to get some momentum going and do like 4 per day or so.
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2023
- Messages
- 981
My mood isn't great these days. I'm doing some approaches each day, but nothing really worth mentioning here. No hooks or anything solid.
I've been doing this for quite a while now and still haven't got a single number! I'm starting to think I might be too old for this.
Also, the days are getting shorter and cooler and I really don't fancy spending another winter alone.
I've been doing this for quite a while now and still haven't got a single number! I'm starting to think I might be too old for this.
Also, the days are getting shorter and cooler and I really don't fancy spending another winter alone.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 359
Hey man, I can feel what you describe, I am not in my best period mood wise either, but don't give up.
People around the world have been seducing younger attractive girls at your age, and I don't see why you would lack the qualities to achieve the same. You are very dedicated going out and keeping at it, and I feel you have also being improving lately, based on the types of interactions you've been having.
Maybe a third eye, some coach, could make this process quicker, if you are up for that, that said I truly believe you have everything you need to succeed, and it's just a matter of communicating it.
Yes it is painful going out again and again and feeling like you get no results and are not improving, but that's what makes us different, we keep going even when it gets tough, because we know that staying at the same place without taking action will be even more painful.
So don't let this bring you down, the change of weather can also affect how we feel sometimes, and as long as you stay on the path, you will get to experience better days.
People around the world have been seducing younger attractive girls at your age, and I don't see why you would lack the qualities to achieve the same. You are very dedicated going out and keeping at it, and I feel you have also being improving lately, based on the types of interactions you've been having.
Maybe a third eye, some coach, could make this process quicker, if you are up for that, that said I truly believe you have everything you need to succeed, and it's just a matter of communicating it.
Yes it is painful going out again and again and feeling like you get no results and are not improving, but that's what makes us different, we keep going even when it gets tough, because we know that staying at the same place without taking action will be even more painful.
So don't let this bring you down, the change of weather can also affect how we feel sometimes, and as long as you stay on the path, you will get to experience better days.
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2023
- Messages
- 318
Hey just checking in today on the forums. I see you are in a bit of a slump. But just see where the mind goes. That is social conditioning. What reason did your mind pick for your lack of success so far? Ahh "age" The one thing you cannot change.
If its your age, then you can let it go. Its not your fault or under your control. That is the ego protecting itself. We all have that. We blame it on things that we cannot change. Maybe I am too short, too bald, too brown, too .......
I am going to say a few things that might sound very harsh but just bear with me for a while and read on till the end.
But hey how about these things?
How many approaches have you been doing per week? (Beginner daygamers are recommended at least 30 but more like 50 per week.)
How many girls have you actually asked for the number? 10? 20? 50? 500???
How many hours have you set aside to actually work solely on approaching? 1 hour/day 2hrs/day?
How many total approaches have you done this year where you were actually playing to win and not to avoid rejection? 100? 200? 500?
I see you have 800 + messages on this forum. Have you done 800 approaches where you really went for it? That is 1 approach per post here. Or is it that you have been spending more time talking about approaching and pickup than actually doing it so that you are misleading yourself about how much action you have actually taken?
The truth is that you have not actually put in the real work. I know of about 3-4 guys in real life who are really good at cold approach. One is in his mid 40s. He started only after 40 after he got divorced. The common thing among all of them is that they all put in the work. Put in the hours infield, did a lot of volume, felt all the embarrassment and rejection and then got their rewards.
I know this is coming across really harsh. But I am not saying this only to you. I say this to MYSELF AS WELL!! Every time my mind goes into that habit of blaming things that are not under my control. I have to pull it back to things that I have control over and really HONESTLY AND PAINFULLY ask myself if I have been putting in the work.
Now you can say this cold approach shit is too hard and too time consuming and that its not worth it to you personally or that you would rather do something else with your time. Then that is okay. That is understandable and fully your choice.
But come on man really? You are going to blame your age?? Don't lie to yourself.
If you had really really put in the work and really had 100s of women reject you, then at least you would have legitimate reasons to say cold approach is not working for you. But its not really true. You are far away from the amount of work that needs to be put in.
I am still far away too. I have on my best week done 14 proper direct approaches in a week so far. The minimum is 30 so its less than half. I know I need to step it up. I cannot blame anything else except my own work ethic.
I don't want to discourage or hurt you in anyway. I have always been inspired by reading your journal and have admired your tenacity in continuing to put in effort. I wanted to give you a harsh but well meaning dose of reality as some of my friends gave me when I also fell into this kind of mindset. I thank them for that. I needed it.
If this hurts you in anyway and you do not agree with me, ignore it. I just would love to not see you fall into this mindset and instead really step it up and achieve all your goals and become the most badass pussy slaying 50 year old in your town.
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2024
- Messages
- 62
I haven't been reading all your posts but I check in now and then and it's been fun to see you going for it and getting little wins like approaching a girl with multiple people nearby. My strong advice: DON'T QUIT! Maybe take some time off, since cold approach really is exhausting. Burning out and quitting is worse than simply taking a break. Rest up, work on other aspects of your life, and let the lessons crystalize in your brain (but still try to approach girls in passing if you can). Then when you're ready, get back into serious approaching.
As AspiringStoic said, it does seem like you're kind of doing basic approaches and bailing, instead of fully going for it. And that's fine--that's part of the learning process. You need to do basic approaches and bail before you can seriously go for it. But until you're at a point where you're really going for it with girls regularly (going for a number, an instadate etc), you are not in a position to say "I am too X for this" (whatever X is). So take it easy on yourself, take a break if you need to, but don't quit.
As AspiringStoic said, it does seem like you're kind of doing basic approaches and bailing, instead of fully going for it. And that's fine--that's part of the learning process. You need to do basic approaches and bail before you can seriously go for it. But until you're at a point where you're really going for it with girls regularly (going for a number, an instadate etc), you are not in a position to say "I am too X for this" (whatever X is). So take it easy on yourself, take a break if you need to, but don't quit.
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2022
- Messages
- 322
Believe it or not, i often see guys in their 60s doing approaches and getting girls to follow their lead.
U might think, yeah well these dudes have it easy, theyre probably full of money! And maybe thats true. But it still takes balls of steel to approach these girls as a 60+ guy, often in the middle of a crowd where everybody might think hes an old creeper and potentially see him being rejected. These guys have been practicing their approach muscles for years.
Additionally, i dunno what u look like and how u carry urself, but theres dudes out there in their 50s and 60s and even 70s being physically still very attractive - if not face-wise, at the very least body-wise: they are in shape, they have their fashion down and their body language exhudes confidence. Some examples here (#nohomo). These are the gentlemen i look up to for when ill be hitting their age brackets.
(Anyway, the pressure is on the girl. Its her job to say no and walk away. Its not urs.)
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2023
- Messages
- 981
Carrying on. Today I decided to try and do 4 favorite color approaches in the street, just to warm up, then hit the beach later and do some real ones.
I did do the 4 warmups. First one, got ignored. (The girl actually didn't look all that hot from up close once I got near, but I did it anyway to get the first one out of the way.) Second one, the girl looked a bit sceptical, then smiled and said she didn't have one. Third one was a real nice reaction, turns out she has the same favorite color as me. Fourth one, a girl sitting on the bench, she already rolled her eyes when I said "excuse me...", plus I had to repeat the question 2 or 3 times because she had headphones in. Then she just said "no". I said "No? Ok, sorry" since she apparently was in a bad mood or something. But I do think I spotted an amused smile there.
Later I went to the beach, but the weather took a turn for the worse and there weren't many single girls. I saw one that I thought looked open to be approached, she had red dyed hair and a nice body, but once I saw her face I wasn't that attracted any more.
Walked around for a long while, but didn't come across any hotties. In the end, when it was almost dark, I saw one girl who I found cute, but by then my AA was back. My excuse was she looked to young.
I'm realizing this is probably a limiting belief. Which is also why I wrote "I'm too old for this" yesterday. When a girl in her 20s rejects me, or gets this sceptical look on her face that feels like she'd rather be ending the conversation now, I can't help but think it's because of my age.
That's most likely bullshit. Okay, maybe in some cases it's true. But if I were 40 or 30, then maybe she'd not be interested for some other reason.
Next time I see a girl I like but feel is "too young", I'm gonna say to myself "She wants to kiss me." I'm going to treat the beach as if I was in a night club, and I was seeing a hot girl there that I want to meet.
Anyway my mood is a lot better today after doing those 4 warmup approaches. Day game actually helps!
I'm not getting numbers because I'm not asking for them, that much is true. But in my world view, it doesn't make sense to get a number if there isn't some sort of connection first. Does that make sense? Or am I completely on the wrong track here? What I'm really looking for, first and foremost, is some kind of connection I guess. The number is just a means to keep in touch and arrange a future meet.
I get your gist though. I can still do a lot more. And I will!
Oh and as for the 800+ posts... I guess I just like writing I also like to give something back. I may be a noob at day game, but I do have some experience with the ladies otherwise. But yeah I realize this journal is becoming longish...
I'm definitely not quitting! The approaches I did today actually gave me energy. The only one that I regret was the one I didn't do... the girl sitting by herself on the beach and I didn't approach because she looked to young!
Gay guys seem to be really attracted to me for whatever reason... is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Fashion wise, I've never been a suit-and-tie guy. I dress a bit edgy, but with style (I believe). I probably won't attract any posh girls, but I don't like them much either so that's not a loss. But FWIW one night recently I went to a bar and actually got approached by a girl myself... she wasn't a hottie, but I'd say doable (at least she looked that way in the dark of the club).
I completely fumbled the situation though. I was totally out of my depth with being approached by a girl. I seriously couldn't believe she wanted me... lol... so I just winged it, and messed up. After a short while she went back to her friends. (facepalm)
I did do the 4 warmups. First one, got ignored. (The girl actually didn't look all that hot from up close once I got near, but I did it anyway to get the first one out of the way.) Second one, the girl looked a bit sceptical, then smiled and said she didn't have one. Third one was a real nice reaction, turns out she has the same favorite color as me. Fourth one, a girl sitting on the bench, she already rolled her eyes when I said "excuse me...", plus I had to repeat the question 2 or 3 times because she had headphones in. Then she just said "no". I said "No? Ok, sorry" since she apparently was in a bad mood or something. But I do think I spotted an amused smile there.
Later I went to the beach, but the weather took a turn for the worse and there weren't many single girls. I saw one that I thought looked open to be approached, she had red dyed hair and a nice body, but once I saw her face I wasn't that attracted any more.
Walked around for a long while, but didn't come across any hotties. In the end, when it was almost dark, I saw one girl who I found cute, but by then my AA was back. My excuse was she looked to young.
I'm realizing this is probably a limiting belief. Which is also why I wrote "I'm too old for this" yesterday. When a girl in her 20s rejects me, or gets this sceptical look on her face that feels like she'd rather be ending the conversation now, I can't help but think it's because of my age.
That's most likely bullshit. Okay, maybe in some cases it's true. But if I were 40 or 30, then maybe she'd not be interested for some other reason.
Next time I see a girl I like but feel is "too young", I'm gonna say to myself "She wants to kiss me." I'm going to treat the beach as if I was in a night club, and I was seeing a hot girl there that I want to meet.
I think you are probably a lot like me in that regard. I can be very prone to mood swings, sometimes I don't even know the reason. I think it might be inherited even. Anyway, it sucks, but you gotta plough through anyway, which is what I'm intending to do.
Anyway my mood is a lot better today after doing those 4 warmup approaches. Day game actually helps!
No, it didn't hurt. But I'm not going to answer all your questions either, you probably know the answer anyway if you're reading my journal.
I'm not getting numbers because I'm not asking for them, that much is true. But in my world view, it doesn't make sense to get a number if there isn't some sort of connection first. Does that make sense? Or am I completely on the wrong track here? What I'm really looking for, first and foremost, is some kind of connection I guess. The number is just a means to keep in touch and arrange a future meet.
I get your gist though. I can still do a lot more. And I will!
Oh and as for the 800+ posts... I guess I just like writing
I also like to give something back. I may be a noob at day game, but I do have some experience with the ladies otherwise. But yeah I realize this journal is becoming longish...Hahaha! Thanks man. I'm not even sure that's my goal though, honestly my sex drive isn't what it used to be when I was younger. A lay or two (or 3) would be awesome for sure, but ultimately I'm looking for a companion that's compatible with me. Also, to not start the relationship from a place of neediness. For which in turn the pussy slaying would be extremely helpful... ok I'll take it... and become the most badass pussy slaying 50 year old in your town.
Yeah it's true. I do think I have been improving in that regard recently.
I'm definitely not quitting! The approaches I did today actually gave me energy. The only one that I regret was the one I didn't do... the girl sitting by herself on the beach and I didn't approach because she looked to young!
I think I look good enough. I'm quite slim, I have this kind of physique that never puts on weight no matter how much I eat. So I also don't put on huge muscles, even though I exercise daily.
Gay guys seem to be really attracted to me for whatever reason... is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Fashion wise, I've never been a suit-and-tie guy. I dress a bit edgy, but with style (I believe). I probably won't attract any posh girls, but I don't like them much either so that's not a loss. But FWIW one night recently I went to a bar and actually got approached by a girl myself... she wasn't a hottie, but I'd say doable (at least she looked that way in the dark of the club).
I completely fumbled the situation though. I was totally out of my depth with being approached by a girl. I seriously couldn't believe she wanted me... lol... so I just winged it, and messed up. After a short while she went back to her friends. (facepalm)
That is a great insight! I hope I can keep that in mind next time I'm in a good set. Ejecting to soon definitely is a sticking point for me.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 359
I feel a screening frame also helps. Lately I've been trying to ask their age first if they look too young. One reason is to see if they are even adults, and the second to acknowledge the difference and start seeing if they are mature enough for their age. And I've been feeling better during these interactions.
Yeah, I'd say for me a lot of the times it is something physical, for example after lunch I may feel way more calm and grounded, or if I eat sweets I will be very jittery. Also the different parts of my life and how they go. What I believe is important and should start doing is finding ways to create small wins on a regular basic. And yeah some nice approaches always help.
I see your view, one thing I would consider is taking a number exactly to meet and check if there is a connection. At least in scenarios where the woman has somewhere to go this is the only way, but it could also be a general mindset. Why not give her an extra chance and meet her in a date where she will be in a different headspace.
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2023
- Messages
- 981
Great point! I'll try and keep that in mind for next time.
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2023
- Messages
- 318
Thats true. But its the fear of rejection that is stopping you from really "putting yourself on the line". How do you expect to get a connection if you only do drive by comments kind of approaches. At some point you need to go in and stay in the conversation till you get a proper no or a yes. That is the hard part. That is what is terrifying to the ego. When you go for it and put yourself in a position where a girl can reject/humiliate you.
But from what I see. Just favorite color opens, and hi s etc won't get you there. And I always felt you were putting too much thought/energy/importance to pre open IOIs instead of just approaching a lot and getting all the reference experiences.
Anyway this is just my reading of the situation, as you know I am no expert either.
But this is the part I worry about. Far be it for me to advise a 50 year old. I have no idea what my sex drive or my attitude and interest in seduction will be by that age.
I feel this is where our paths diverge. I kept on commenting that you should approach more girls and not try to be picky. It makes sense to me because I am looking at it from a skill building perspective. But for you maybe it is not about building a skill but just finding 1 or 2 girls and entering an LTR with one soon. No issues with that.
But if I were to be completely honest, I don't think cold approach is really for someone who just wants to find a girlfriend soon. I mean its too much work to just find a girlfriend. I think there are easier ways to just snag a girl or few. Going through all the ups and downs and emotional turmoil of cold approach only makes sense if you are aiming for something higher.
Cold approach and this entire journey is a COMPLETE OVERHAUL OF YOUR BELIEFS RELATING TO WOMEN, YOURSELF AND YOUR ENTIRE PERSONALITY! I mean why would anyone want to go through all that to just find their next girlfriend. To go through an overhaul like that, the motivation needs to come from wanting something higher.
So maybe you need to delve deeper and examine your WHY of cold approach. Maybe that is what is blocking the desire and motivation to take massive action.