Mah journal (bgwh)

[isildur1]

This isn't an fr, but an observation. I've watched some vids from guys who apparently get laid a lot, and I was surprised by something. They don't always hook, they get ignored quite a few times. But they all have in common that they open direct.

I compared that to my experiences, I always open, never get ignored. But I always open with an excuse/asking for help. And I naturally relate it to a social angle.

So I'm wondering now, am I missing something. Must I flirt from the opener. I found that a percentage show interest anyway. Why force them

i mean most openers fail for most men - its a numbers game in that aspect - even those who score huge lay counts from daygame and have massive successes can get embarrassed in some sets - rejection will always be there no matter what. Some guys try and pretend it doesnt happen to look cool through a screen

and thats the ironic thing you will never really know how much a dating coach fails before his success - most hide it or aren't clear on it because if they were honest about it it would make them less marketable and open to attacks and abuse from other dating coaches. The whole John Anthony/Nick Krauser beef thing - Anthony attacked Krauser on his low laycount even though Krauser's approach to lay was roughly in line with most dating coaches and most puas i've seen in the field . The argument was borderline ridiculous and john himself admits to converting 1 in every 10 numbers same as Janka.

 

[bgwh]

i mean most openers fail for most men - its a numbers game in that aspect - even those who score huge lay counts from daygame and have massive successes can get embarrassed in some sets - rejection will always be there no matter what. Some guys try and pretend it doesnt happen to look cool through a screen

and thats the ironic thing you will never really know how much a dating coach fails before his success - most hide it or aren't clear on it because if they were honest about it it would make them less marketable and open to attacks and abuse from other dating coaches. The whole John Anthony/Nick Krauser beef thing - Anthony attacked Krauser on his low laycount even though Krauser's approach to lay was roughly in line with most dating coaches and most puas i've seen in the field . The argument was borderline ridiculous and john himself admits to converting 1 in every 10 numbers same as Janka.

Yeah, I know, I said much the same. It's pretty weird to see all these spats and fights in the community, when they all get roughly similar results. By the way they debate and argue, you would think we're talking about huge differences in results.

 

[bgwh]

Winning. My first great interaction with a girl who isn't a stunner. I'm doing what I'm doing in order to network, so it's makes sense to talk to everyone, not just stunners. Until now my sticking point was that I got these great interactions (girls hook 2 seconds in) if they're a stunner. But since I'm not doing this for pickup, but to network and build social skills, I said I want to get good interactions with everyone.

Still doing 16 hour cramming days (coming to an end soon), but had to leave the house since I ran out of some stuff. Saw some girl (like a cute 5-6). She sat down on a bench near the bus stop.

I got those thoughts like:

- "but there are people near" (doesn't matter)
- I don't even remember the other excuses. I go and open anyway, since I don't have AA*

And then I opened her with "Are you a student"? Then we had a chat about her medical school, how she wanted to be in medicine since she was little, bla bla. It was a pretty nice, pleasant interaction and she was fully hooked. Then I told her about some parties/things I'll be doing (my fallback excuse and the reason I approach). Also showed her my instagram. She memorized it.

I noticed girls don't go and find you on instagram if you just show them the username, all my ig closes were where I proactively told them "Hey you're cool, we should follow each other". Where I show them my IG and suggest they can follow me, they don't. Anyway this is a random side-observation. I'm not working on that part yet (the closing). Still focusing on the interactions for now. Just making a note.


*-According to normal people's definition of AA, and the one found when you google for the term "approach anxiety". But apparently me saying I don't have AA doesn't count and is "misleading to newbies", because you're supposed to struggle and suffer, and it only counts if you go around hitting on random chicks. If you approach them in a social way (and gasp have things to invite them to), then it "doesn't count TM".

 

[bgwh]

More winning. I had to again leave the house for some quick grocery grabbing. Fortunately there are no hotties at this time, or otherwise I would have gotten stuck doing 30-40 approaches in a row. Later in the day it's all a bunch of 20somethings strolling about all sexy.

1) Anyway, I saw a chick sitting on a bench, obviously wanting to be approached, if you know you know. She was not hot, but I was like ok anyway... passed her not saying anything coz it was clear she's not hot or young. Then I passed her thinking wait but I should be opening these for the reference experience (a hat tip to julien, just watched his program where he really did a good job of driving home the point that it's about gathering reference experiences)... So I turn back and I'm like gonna open, who gives a fuck if she saw me and what she thinks. Alas, she's on the phone, so I continue to some other store I have to grab something from...

Then I head back to her and she's not on the phone. Opened her around the topic of different activities. She was quite nice, hooked, excited. Even started asking me personal questions which I dodged, because I felt bad about giving her false hope. She was super nice and all, and obviously horny, but...

Then I went to the near bus stop, as expected, no twenty-something hotties.

2) Except. I noticed a chick who looked like a twenty-something, and I'm like ok I open. There were about like maybe 15-20 people within earsight. I love how I don't care. This would have been unthinkable before. I just don't care. It's simple, I go "don't care, me open" and just do it. Anyway as I get closer to her I notice she's actually 30 something, and she aged badly. She has the sillhouette of a twenty something, but she's a chain smoker.

Didn't hook especially, it was just polite and neutral, which is actually rare for me. Asked her about activities... easily transitioned out of it when seeing she doesn't qualify. Turns out she has a kid. I wouldn't be surprised if she's a single mom. She looks like the type of mom who was super hot at 20.

Overall summary

I'm happy that I opened both anyway, previously it would have been "too old". I'm doing it for the reference experience and building up the social skills. Oh, and I make money if they turn out to be potential clients.

I forgot to praise myself at the moment, instead focusing on the fact that I wasn't "charismatic". Soft-spoken, not amazing posture or voice projection. But ironically it doesn't seem to matter. Everyone is nice. For now I'm focusing on just opening, and giving myself pats on the back for breaking new frontiers. Once this becomes on autopilot, I'm sure a lot of the nonverbals will auto-adjust anyway, and by then I'll have the extra brainpower to focus on more stuff consciously (voice projection, posture, eye-contact, etc)

 

[bgwh]

I know I said I wouldn't journal about the backend, but this was an interesting observation. I met up with one of the stunners (I'm doing social circle game, so it's not a "date"), but in any case, while we were out and about I could approached every stunner in proximity. It was so interesting her seeing me interact with other stunners and getting jealous. She started asking me what the each of the girls said, and did they say yes and also exchange instagrams with me. With my method this is perfectly reasonable since I don't approach girls to pick them up, but for social reasons, and I'm not on a date with the girls, it's like approaching in front of my male friends, but it still has that good social proof of her witnessing me succesfully opening and exchanging contacts with other stunners. Very nice.

 

[bgwh]

Finally my first bad day. It felt weird that I had so many good responses up until now. Today people acted like I'm a beggar. I'll expand more. But I was happy this happened.

 

[bgwh]

Finally my first bad day. It felt weird that I had so many good responses up until now. Today people acted like I'm a beggar. I'll expand more. But I was happy this happened.

Basically, I had a lucky streak when I started this approaching journal, with everyone opening and hooking. It felt surreal because I know it's not typical and I was automatically doing a lot of things right without having consciously had to learn or master them.

I since then had a big break, and today I had to leave the house. I saw some store opening. I talked to the store girl, i didn't notice at the moment, but It was probably awkard. Then I asked for the manager, to talk to him about some stuff. And he basically gave me the default "Oh sorry we don't have money for beggars" answer, which I wasn't surprised by. Then I opened a girl outside the event. She was nice and polite, but not really hooking.

Then I went and continued to bus stop where I opened a girl, and she was asking me to repeat myself. This is ussually where I really get that I'm stifled. Basically my eyes are darting around and I have weak vocal projection. It still didn't matter because I went and had a conversation with this girl. She was pretty dismissive and snooty the whole interaction, but I think she was arrogant in general (turned out we had friends in common, and she worked for my cousin).

I then Decided. Ok, time to conciously apply some of the nonverbals you learned about in pickup. Not going home until I open with stronger vocal projection. I had 3 that didn't hook, but at least I opened and they heard me loud and clear lol.

 

[bgwh]

Restarted today. Did about 30-40 approaches. Many were first of a kind. I give literally zero fucks.

I'll set countdown to 970. Also had the worst rejections of my life. Will make notes when I get home.

 

[bgwh]

Basically this almost felt like "look what I can do and how little I give a crap". More performative than anything. I just approached everything in sight with zero discernment.

This includes chicks that I missed approaching (due to being on phone and being noticed by her), chicks standing right next to their boss at work, chicks standing next to girls I approached 5 seconds before. Chicks I hesitated about approaching due to some logistical thing and hovered too much (but opened anyway).

I had some of the harshest attitudes today, but here are some of my observations regarding that:

- I wore clothing that doesn't fit well. Most specifically my pants look like pajamas almost, but I had nothing else to wear. My clothing looked more edgy during the summer. Some chicks specifically looked me up and down like they're scanning for status and went "nah, look like a bum"

- However to note, during the summer I specifically had a couple of days my cooler clothes weren't ready and I wore less cool shirt, (though cooler pants), and still had some of the best interactions (though back then I only opened "wow" chicka, more on this later)

- It's not just chicks. Guy in store was much colder to me today then when I went to his store during the summer when he was basically hyper qualifying to me and trying to befriend me. I do feel my energy is different

Basically main difference is I have more of an overconfidence today, too much don't give an f. This happened a couple of times during the summer.

Though again, the wow chicks responded amazingly well today. And what do I mean by wow chicks? When you get that "wow, I must talk to her" sense and you get excited.

Today I approached more of those "approaching just for practice" chicks, or to somehow prove to myself I can approach anyone in any situation. Hint: I can. I probably don't need to perform this parlor trick any more, I have proven I can approach anyone, anywhere. Time to up the quality.

Some things I'm considering is concously focusing on eye contact. I believe the ones who responded badly, with all of them I had poor/weird eye contact. I think I mainly have better eye contact with the wow chicks. So I'm considering approaching with a specific focus on eye contact to see how much it changes quality of interaction with the not-wow chicks.

 

[bgwh]

Today was the exact opposite. Only talked to stunners (5 of them). All of them hooked, exchanged instagrams with all of them, and they were so happy to punch in my name in instagram. The first one turned out to be an instagram influencer. When she typed in my name it showed I do follow her. I was like "Oh yah I think I started following you 3 days ago". She started apologizing and being all apogoletic why she hasn't followed me back yet. Kinda funny haha, she has literally 1000x more followers than me.

965 to go

 

[mrman]

I know I said I wouldn't journal about the backend, but this was an interesting observation. I met up with one of the stunners (I'm doing social circle game, so it's not a "date"), but in any case, while we were out and about I could approached every stunner in proximity. It was so interesting her seeing me interact with other stunners and getting jealous. She started asking me what the each of the girls said, and did they say yes and also exchange instagrams with me. With my method this is perfectly reasonable since I don't approach girls to pick them up, but for social reasons, and I'm not on a date with the girls, it's like approaching in front of my male friends, but it still has that good social proof of her witnessing me succesfully opening and exchanging contacts with other stunners. Very nice.

Do you think I should try this

 

[bgwh]

Do you think I should try this

More reference experiences is always a good thing I believe, but i'm no expert.

 

[bgwh]

Today was the exact opposite. Only talked to stunners (5 of them). All of them hooked, exchanged instagrams with all of them, and they were so happy to punch in my name in instagram. The first one turned out to be an instagram influencer. When she typed in my name it showed I do follow her. I was like "Oh yah I think I started following you 3 days ago". She started apologizing and being all apogoletic why she hasn't followed me back yet. Kinda funny haha, she has literally 1000x more followers than me.

965 to go

I did one more approach later and I think I'm starting to get the distinction. There is a sort of a warmth and softness I added today. Like almost happy to see you old friend, I missed you.

Can't explain it conciously, but I feel when I'm doing a more charming approach.

 

[mrman]

In

More reference experiences is always a good thing I believe, but i'm no expert.

Should I be worried about doxxing myself?

 

[bgwh]

I went out with one of the stunners I met from cold approach, got in a couple of selfies, which got other stunners (from cold approach) on my IG to react with hearts. Love this kind of leverage. Anyways as I was out with her, another cute girl walked by who kept glancing at us... so I go and open her, and it turns out that she's a professional model. We talked a bit about the agencies she works with, what brands she's done work for bla bla bla... I then screwed it up by going back to the opener, and she went ok no bye. Because it was completely uncalibrated. She was hooked and I could have just asked her to exchange instagrams regarding what we were talking about (events, modelling, stuff like that).

About 963 to go

 

[JT Sunshine]

Some things I'm considering is concously focusing on eye contact. I believe the ones who responded badly, with all of them I had poor/weird eye contact. I think I mainly have better eye contact with the wow chicks. So I'm considering approaching with a specific focus on eye contact to see how much it changes quality of interaction with the not-wow chicks.

I have noticed this as well. I could be wrong, but I feel like strong, confident eye contact is pretty rare in today’s world. So much of our communication is done online that really good eye contact, however subtle a part of your game it is, can really change the dynamic of an interaction in your favor. It sets you apart from all the timid men, as well as text on a screen. Just my two cents! Glad to see you’re still out here killin it