Mah journal (bgwh)

[JT Sunshine]

That article was spot on. I think you may be rating yourself a bit low - even if you feel your vibe is that of an average dude, it may just be what you perceive as average. The horror stories I’ve heard from girls when it comes to dating… I’m starting to think the bar is set *very* low. We may be rating much higher than we think! Social proof works incredible, I need to leverage that more. Reading this is a good reminder to keep focusing on eye contact and vocal projection. Nice work man!

 

[bgwh]

I had my first outting at a party (since starting this journal). Did a ton of approaching, but technically it wasn't cold approach because you're expected to approach at parties like these.

Before meeting up with my female friends I asked some girls for directions (to where I'm meeting my friends) and they went mute, looking at me all weird, like what does this guy want. I repeated the question and they still looked at me like I was a weird ghost.

Since I never approach in this context, I don't even know what that was about. But I think I need more warmth or something.

Arrived at party and I told my female friends that there are zero hot girls at this party so I'll go find some girls outside the venue. I made some circles looking for anything above a 5, but there wasnt.

Then I saw a hostess at the entry of some fancy place... Walked up to her and was like hey there. All confident and super lasered eye contact. I love my confidence.

Went back inside the party. Approached a seven who was super nice and asking me lots of questions. She asked my age and guessed I am 33 (am actually 40). Don't know if girls are being nice like this. Anyway kept reopening her table for the rest of the night.

Then I approached 7-15 other sets. Can't even recall. Again, these are not fully cold approach because people are expected to mingle and talk at parties like these. Though I guess by the literal definition it is cold, because I was talking to strangers. Nevermind, my main thing was practicing my social skills.

Main thing is that confidence was over the top, but a little intense. I need to add warmth, sensuality and slow down. It's a bit of an aggressive confidence.

 

[bgwh]

On a side note. I felt old, started panicking after this outting. I think mostly because at some level I understood how much I have to go, so I don't get when I'll get to reap benefits. I understand and know quite a large chunk of girls bangs older guys, but I am starting to panic that I'm running out of time.

I mean if I could dedicate myself to fully I would handle it and start getting results in a decent time and start reaping the benefits. Problem is I have so many other obligations and things to handle in my life. Just the practicalities of it all mean that if I maximized working on approaching and socializing, I wouldn't actually have a place to invite chicks to, because I'd lose all my income. It feels like an unsurmountable obstacle.

My pace of progress is nice, and if I was starting at 30 I'd still get a ton of benefit from doing this stuff even with the other stuff making it hard to prioritize. At my level where I can't prioritize pickup, meaning progress slowly, will the total amount of gained benefits (extra experiences) even be worth it?

To add to that now have plenty of things working against me. Due to losing weight I don't have and can't afford nice clothes to keep approaching during the winter. I don't even know how I'll continue approaching.

 

[JT Sunshine]

On a side note. I felt old, started panicking after this outting. I think mostly because at some level I understood how much I have to go, so I don't get when I'll get to reap benefits. I understand and know quite a large chunk of girls bangs older guys, but I am starting to panic that I'm running out of time.

I mean if I could dedicate myself to fully I would handle it and start getting results in a decent time and start reaping the benefits. Problem is I have so many other obligations and things to handle in my life. Just the practicalities of it all mean that if I maximized working on approaching and socializing, I wouldn't actually have a place to invite chicks to, because I'd lose all my income. It feels like an unsurmountable obstacle.

My pace of progress is nice, and if I was starting at 30 I'd still get a ton of benefit from doing this stuff even with the other stuff making it hard to prioritize. At my level where I can't prioritize pickup, meaning progress slowly, will the total amount of gained benefits (extra experiences) even be worth it?

To add to that now have plenty of things working against me. Due to losing weight I don't have and can't afford nice clothes to keep approaching during the winter. I don't even know how I'll continue approaching.

This is spot on - I'm right there with you. When I'm focused on work, booking lots of clients and absolutely killing it, the money starts flowing and life is good - but after working 12 hours my social battery is dead and I just want to chill and sleep before another early and long day. If I take any time off, my income suffers and I start worrying. But without taking time off I feel like I don't have the proper time to dedicate to this.

Sounds like we are in the same boat?

I miss the days when I was 22 - broke as fuck but with all the time in the world and not super worried if I was late on rent for my shitty apartment, or had to eat like garbage for a bit because I knew I wouldn't gain a pound. Getting older and being financially responsible sucks.

If you find a workable happy medium, please let me know. I'll do the same. Right now I've been going weekend-heavy on the approaching and trying to make flirty small-talk during the work week when opportunity presents itself so I don't get rusty. I'm thinking a more "high-risk high-reward" style of approaching might help optimize time and screen out the time wasters. But I believe even slow progress is worth it. Think of how good you'll be in three years if you keep improving slowly.

 

[bgwh]

This is spot on - I'm right there with you. When I'm focused on work, booking lots of clients and absolutely killing it, the money starts flowing and life is good - but after working 12 hours my social battery is dead and I just want to chill and sleep before another early and long day. If I take any time off, my income suffers and I start worrying. But without taking time off I feel like I don't have the proper time to dedicate to this.

Sounds like we are in the same boat?

I miss the days when I was 22 - broke as fuck but with all the time in the world and not super worried if I was late on rent for my shitty apartment, or had to eat like garbage for a bit because I knew I wouldn't gain a pound. Getting older and being financially responsible sucks.

If you find a workable happy medium, please let me know. I'll do the same. Right now I've been going weekend-heavy on the approaching and trying to make flirty small-talk during the work week when opportunity presents itself so I don't get rusty. I'm thinking a more "high-risk high-reward" style of approaching might help optimize time and screen out the time wasters. But I believe even slow progress is worth it. Think of how good you'll be in three years if you keep improving slowly.

Yeah exactly. I love having this sharing ideas. The one thing I'm pondering at the moment probably isn't applicable to your business. I'm thinking of tying my existing businesses and new business to cold approaching/socializing, so I actually make money from approaching stunners.

 

[bgwh]

I thought of some other things in retrospect today.

A girl I know from before was especially seductive. I noticed her giving me those fuck me eyes. So I went over and greeted her. Moved onto opening her friend and completely forgot about her. Later in the night she made sure to walk by where I was at the moment and reopen me with some situational remark whilst giving a seductive smile. I totally should have seen where I can take this. I guess I wasn't expecting it so I'm only realizing now in retrospect. I could have practiced sexual state with her if nothing else.

With the first chick I never took it anywhere sexual. Also could have practiced sexual vibing on her.

I think whereas my previous thing to remember was vocal projection and eye contact, I probably should shift soon to practicing sexual vibing on convos that go further.

Also in retrospect I'm noticing the AIs I was getting from the more attractive girls and the coldness from the less.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Yeah exactly. I love having this sharing ideas. The one thing I'm pondering at the moment probably isn't applicable to your business. I'm thinking of tying my existing businesses and new business to cold approaching/socializing, so I actually make money from approaching stunners.

Dude that’s an excellent idea, sounds like a dream job! Yeah definitely not applicable to me at all lol, best I can do is leverage the company’s huge following on IG to snag quite a few followers of my own. Can’t hurt if I’m trading IGs with a girl

 

[bgwh]

So I had to run out today for some obligations/chores. And I was cramped on time, as I have a deadline and have to run back home to meet it.

I forgot to praise myself, that anything I do is better than nothing. I focused too much on what I didn't do.

- Approach 2-set of students... talked to the 6 (the other girl was a 9), and is ussually the case, the 6 was lukewarm, while the 9 was beaming and smiling ear-to-ear.

When I noticed them, I was like oh no, I have to think of voice projection, I have to think of positivity, so many things, nooo... I opened quite softly (and again, stunner was beaming regardless). But yeah, soft-spoken, not amazing eye-contact.

- Saw a nine with model looks that I'd ussually approach to network with, but instead decided to try JTSunshine's method for getting responses to Hellos here. And it worked! She beamed with delight and smiled. Though to be fair I knew it would work the moment I read it on JT's journal. I was like that totally makes sense, why didn't I do this before.

- Approach some whore-ishly dressed six (think a six you'd jerk off to in porn if the scene is good), again very soft-spoken. I especially noticed it at the end where was like well I wish you luck with your project, and she didn't add me on IG

- Ask some 9 for directions. She didn't know the directions, but was beaming and smiling ear to ear, like I had made her day by asking her directions. It didn't matter that I was soft-spoken

- Then saw some six who in terms of style matches some of the models I've worked with, so I opened her, just for practice. Was fairly nice. With me again being soft-spoken. She added me to IG.

Summary

I almost forgot the big win today. That hello response was a huge win for me, as my main goal with all of this is to master non-verbals. Also I should be kind on myself for being soft-spoken, because I was in a rush and barely managed to leave the house. Didn't have time to warm up mentally and focus on the quality of the approaches. I'm working hard to get rid of some last obligations so I can once again go out to do dedicated approaching sessions where I can focus on quality of approach, and progress.

That isn't to say that there isn't progress even with the non-dedicated soft approaches here and there, it's just that I think at this pace it's going to take years, and I don't have years to spare. So I want to start dedicated outtings soon.

995/1000

 

[JT Sunshine]

Glad it worked for you too! To be honest I don’t know why I didn’t figure it out sooner. Seems like you’re killing it brother. If we can master the non-verbals, everything else should come so much smoother!

 

[bgwh]

Good news i'm slowly starting to get rid of my work and should soon get rid of this 16 hour workdays crap. So can start dedicated approaching sessions finally.

Had to run out and grab groceries today however. As ussual I went out super early when there are no hotties outside. Unfortunately there was a cute fit six, probably 19-20 or so. We were walking toward the same store. I noticed her, she noticed me noticing me. Went into store, she kept throwing curious glances at me, and met at her. I was like gotta say something, gotta say something, didn't. She left store.

I was like fuck it, ran after her. Opened her (very soft spoken, bad eye contact). Asked her if she's involved in fitness in some way, we can collab in some way. She's not a pro, just fitness enthusiast. She followed me on IG. I did massive qualification even though she was interested. I think she even got confused why I'm qualifying myself to her. She was like "I'm already interested, why are you trying to convince me". Anyhow. Pat myself on the back, who does this stuff, like 0.1% of the population. Can't wait to do dedicated sessions where I can focus on posture, projection, eye-contact, etc.

994/1000

 

[FAB DRONES]

Good news i'm slowly starting to get rid of my work and should soon get rid of this 16 hour workdays crap. So can start dedicated approaching sessions finally.

Had to run out and grab groceries today however. As ussual I went out super early when there are no hotties outside. Unfortunately there was a cute fit six, probably 19-20 or so. We were walking toward the same store. I noticed her, she noticed me noticing me. Went into store, she kept throwing curious glances at me, and met at her. I was like gotta say something, gotta say something, didn't. She left store.

I was like fuck it, ran after her. Opened her (very soft spoken, bad eye contact). Asked her if she's involved in fitness in some way, we can collab in some way. She's not a pro, just fitness enthusiast. She followed me on IG. I did massive qualification even though she was interested. I think she even got confused why I'm qualifying myself to her. She was like "I'm already interested, why are you trying to convince me". Anyhow. Pat myself on the back, who does this stuff, like 0.1% of the population. Can't wait to do dedicated sessions where I can focus on posture, projection, eye-contact, etc.

994/1000

Do you have insta private or public?

 

[bgwh]

Do you have insta private or public?

I still haven't decided which is better. There are conflicting theories about this.

 

[bgwh]

I had to go out to pick up something. There weren't any hotties anywhere. Saw a 40 year old washed up former slut. Definetely had that look. She made eye-contact from a far and looked at me. Don't think it was AI, but more curiosity (I think my clothes were mismatched.

I'm like, ok, let me practice the hello/non-verbals (that's my current goal). So I walk up to her, say hello, keep looking. She doesn't say anything. She's sitting on a bench and looking through me like a ghost. Then she scans my clothes up and down. Says "not interested". I then continue the conversation anyway, and ask her if she knows if friends and people in general would find this kind of stuff interesting. She says "Don't know".

The whole time I'm thinking... bitch... 20 year old stunners get all giddy and grin ear to ear when I talk to them like this. Do you not know you're a 40 year old washed up low-class slut? And she was the one looking me up and down like "Are you high-class enough to talk to me", like I was a panhandler or something.

 

[bgwh]

I'm at a crossroads and super conflicted about what to do next. It's obvious that approaching for the sake of approaching has become a parlor trick.

At some level I'm like why don't I just approach just the girls I have a genuine reason to connect with.

For example girls who are into fitness, artsy girls, girls who look like they could or want to model. Like there's a genuine reason for talking to them.

But that's also limiting in a way because I want to be able to talk to anyone just for networking reasons and the pure quantity of experience.

If I only talk to wow girls (stunners or other girls I have a natural match with), I might have to walk around for hours to find them some days.

Whereas if my only criteria is would I fuck her over jerking off, the quantity of girls to practice with is much bigger. There's plenty of sixes with nice asses who are horny and would love to be offered dick.

My issue is I don't know how to approach these genuinelly. I don't have a legitimate reason to talk to them aside from "I'd let her ride me if nothing better is available on a given day, before I kick her out". I need an angle to approach these with.

 

[FAB DRONES]

tinder

 

[bgwh]

tinder

No I mean if I see them on the street. I have places where I can source them if my goal were bang sixes. For example at social venues I approach everyone, because it's a social context. At daytime I need a reason/angle. I have one for the stunners and anyone that's a good match. Maybe I should accept just not approaching mid chicks, dunno.

 

[FAB DRONES]

No I mean if I see them on the street. I have places where I can source them if my goal were bang sixes. For example at social venues I approach everyone, because it's a social context. At daytime I need a reason/angle. I have one for the stunners and anyone that's a good match. Maybe I should accept just not approaching mid chicks, dunno.

I wouldn't be embarrassed about approaching a 6 in public.

 

[bgwh]

So I spent a lot of time thinking about what the next stage should be for me. I still need volume of reference experiences, but approaching mid-tier chicks for practice has become an insane idea at this point.

I'm definitely upping the selectivity. But I had to figure out what to do in terms of this stuff, and here's what I came up with. Someone else might find it useful:

If it's about practicing nonverbals en volume, I can do it via business. I am a business owner who's been pussying out on cold sales and cold networking/jving for a while. Instead of approaching sixes, I can approach businesses (btw businesses involving attractive people). I can get my volume needs met there.

In terms of approaching, I will continue to approach, just not spam approach on the street. Only stunners get that. And also any chicks giving AIs. Also I will be visiting stores, over there I can practice situationals, and even sixes are fine within this context.

 

[bgwh]

I haven't restarted cold approach yet because social circle has been keeping me busy. It kind of spoils you in a way.

But I just wanted to make note to myself on another genius piece by Chase:

Attraction Models: Can You Combine VAC + SAC?

VAC and SAC are both powerful attraction models. Once you’re familiar with both, however, can you mix and match them for attracting girls – and if so, how? A little while ago Alek Rolstad asked me to write on combining the VAC and SAC attraction models. This article won’t be as useful to you if...

www.girlschase.com

This is pure brilliance. Things became a lot easier for me when I discovered SAC. And with this explanation here you can really "get" where it comes in with different contexts. For example with social circle you can just go straight into SAC.

If you need a little V boost because the context requires it, do that, then switch into SAC.

 

[bgwh]

I wouldn't be embarrassed about approaching a 6 in public.

It's not about embarrassment, it's about not being genuine. I literally have no reason to indiscriminately open random sixes other than "practicing nonverbals".

Stunners respond well, sixes respond with suspicion. At some level they know they're at best barely a replacement to jerking off. So without a plausible reason, it just doesn't make sense.

Sure I could up my game to where I can charm sixes and pretend I have interest in them beyond just "using them for practice", but that seems a seriously dumb thing to invest your limited time into.