Passion Lab

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Polarization

Today was cool because I continued to push my comfort zone. I did this by being polarizing. I like being polarizing because you have to risk losing the set in order to do polarizing stuff. This will help me develop my non-needy vibe.

For example, I said things to girls I normally would not say to them. I invited several girls to come home with me shortly after meeting them. I called them serial killers and said other outlandish stuff. I am also approaching girls with boyfriends more often and asking if they are dating.

Me and this older chick just sort of gravitated towards each other. I was holding both her hands with my hands. Then I got her to kiss both my cheeks when we were saying goodbye. She was married.

From now on I am going to invite every girl I talk to home with me until I am comfortable with it. I am also going to ask every girl I talk to, to give me a kiss on the cheek. I bet I will be surprised how easily girls will give out cheek kisses.

Am I Right or Wrong?

I am making predictions about what kind of mood a girl is in, what she's currently doing, and what the likely outcome will be, then doing the approach and checking outcome vs. prediction.

Past Mistakes

I realize that a lot of the mistakes I made this week with women were the result of me coming on waaay too strong. I should have been more subtle.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Cats

backstory: you single?
cats: yeah... *said like there's more to the story*
backstory: you are....?
cats: yeah...i dont do relationships.
backstory: good thing i'm not trying to date you. we'd probably fight too much anyways

Ugh I did not need to pull out that last line -.- AWKWARDDDD and uncalled for.... where could I have gone with this? what would have been the appropriate thing to say? Probably some deep diving maybe.

backstory: lets hang out sometime
cats: okay
backstory: ill grab your number and we can sort things out later
catss: yeah my phones broken *shows me her phone with the shattered screen*
backstory: ohhh so you just use it as a ipod then?
cats: basically. i do have facebook and instagram though.
backstory: ummmm..... okaaay never mind then

I debated getting her facebook, but then decided not to. I'm not gonna bother getting chick's facebooks anymore. It's a waste of time.

I reached the social hook point pretty quickly but didn't manage to get to an emotional hook point because...I was being all awkward conversationally and couldn't build up any momentum with her. There was one point where we were on the same page but I crashed and burned quickly. She got cold and reserved towards the end of the interaction. I guess maybe when a chick goes cold soon after meeting her, it means "yeah i gave you a chance for us to click but it didn't work so I'm going into auto rejection."

If I can get on this "same page' vibe with girls at least 3 times throughout the interaction, then I'm gonna be doing pretty good. Right now I can only do it once. That means I need to improve my conversation skills.

Tried for a cheek kiss too but she declined. That was funny.

Potential Same Day Lay

I was at a columbian festival. I met this girl who was with her family. We gravitated towards each other - our vibe towards each other was sexual. I found out that she's from Columbia and she's leaving to go back tomorrow at 5AM. I started sorting out logistics with her. What are you doing tonight? Are you stuck with your family? My logistics handling was not the greatest.

Since she was (seemingly) sexually available, leaving tomorrow, and wasn't really doing anything tonight, I decided to get her number so we could meet up later.

Either way, I'm actually sort of proud how I handled myself. You know, I coulda said stuff like like, "hey you're single right" and done stuff like getting her to kiss my cheek and stuff hahaha....but there's really no need for that! Given the situation, it was important to be subtle and I realized that. Besides....she's leaving tomorrow and I'm asking her to hang out, she OBVIOUSLY knows what I want. I did stare at her lips though.

I definitely could have built up a lot more compliance. I was eager to meet other chicks instead of interacting with her further.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

I was at a relatively small party last night and let me tell you I felt like SOCIALLY RETARDED dog shit. I was not aware of the backstory behind this party - was this a social circle party? I didn't know how to act! There were some pretty hot girls there.

Imagine you're at a party with all your friends. Then there's just some random dude...who is this guy!?

There was this one girl just walking around introducing herself to everyone in sight. Was she doing that for a specific reason? Anyways, she came up to me:

girl: hey its nice to meet you
backstory: you too. whats your name.
girl: agnes
backstory: nice to meet you agnes. I'm backstory. is that a tiara on your neck?
girl: yes
backstory: okay put it on?
girl: *severely annoyed look while putting on tiara*
backstory: haha queen agnes
girl: okay well I'm going outside bye

She made me feel stupid as fuck for asking her to put on her tiara...almost like it was very socially uncalibrated of me. Huh. Two things here:

1. From now on I will always flash someone a bored look/annoyed look/pursed lips when they do socially uncalibrated things.
2. She was going around meeting people and JUST introducing herselves to them. Not trying to get into conversations with them. I should have recognized the situation and just introduced myself to her instead of trying to engage her in further conversation.

I was getting some weird tests from the guys...WHY DO GUYS TEST? I am getting a lot of tests from guys who seem to be higher above me in fundamentals lately.

I bantered with this one chick, she was laughing but walked away...this is what girls who are out of my league always do..I am not offering enough value I guess.

I opened another girl and was being friendly with her. Except she gave me this look like I was a fucking idiot. A "WTF ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO ME?" look. whyyyyyyyy. I don't get it man. She was walking around the party not talking to ANYONE.

Even the guys I talked to were acting really weird towards me...like I was some socially retarded dog shit! I DON'T GET IT!

Complaincomplaincomplain.

I was feeling really flat and kind of defeated. I knew I wasn't gonna be able to build up any social momentum when people were treating me this way. So I left. I thought about staying to talk to more people, but it was a small party and I wanted to save face socially. Like everyone could see when I got rejected.

Although this was weird when I was sitting on the front step outside alone and a group of girls came out:

girl: blablalba hey are you still sober? (she was re-engaging me from earlier)
backstory: yeah
*end of conversation*
*2 minutes later*
girl: brrr its chilly out here. my nipples are hard!

maybe she was trying to get my attention. maybe.

 

[Lover]

Re: backstory's frontstory

2. She was going around meeting people and JUST introducing herselves to them. Not trying to get into conversations with them. I should have recognized the situation and just introduced myself to her instead of trying to engage her in further conversation.

Agree, especially if this was in the beginning of the party. Her agenda was just to greet people and not to waste time.

How did you know about the party anyway? Seems like people were just giving you a hard time, and no one knew about you

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

How did you know about the party anyway? Seems like people were just giving you a hard time, and no one knew about you

The host of the party invited me. He's an acquaintance of mine.

backstory goes to the bar

TONIGHT, I went to the bar. I practiced breaking rapport and inviting girls home with me.

I had a lot of fun. There was this one group of 3 girls who I opened. One of them was very tall. I was calling her "Mom" and we were doing some role playing. In the role play, the other two girls were her children. It was a fun situation. But this tall girl ends up in my face staring at me trying to test my dominance, in a mean sort of way. She killed the vibe with the test, I didn't know what to talk about, and I ended up leaving..this is something I'm always experiencing: the issue of, WHAT DO I DO NEXT?

Later I went up to the guys they were with. I introduced myself to them. Then the tall girl butts in, comes up to me and says:

tall girl: why are you talking to my boys?
backstory: why are you talking to ME?
tall girl: *speechless and stunned, not saying anything*
backstory: *eye roll and annoyed look* *walks away*
guys: OOOOOOHHHH HAHAHAHAHHA

Later I see the one guy and he gives me a very enthusiastic fist bump.

Then I was opening this random group of guys and girls. I'm chatting with one of the girls about how it's so hot:

Girl: *in a bossy kind of voice* you should go and tell them to turn on the air conditioner
backstory: *eye roll and annoyed look* *walks away*
group: *looks shocked*

Later I'm walking by the same group and one of the guys points me out to another guy who wasn't there before. The whole eye roll, annoyed look, and walk away thing is a little dramatic...good to pull out in situations where people are tooling me/being socially uncalibrated.

As mentioned yes I did practice breaking rapport. I mostly just went against whatever the girl said. She said she was a doctor? I told her I hated doctors. She said she loves sunflowers? I told her I hate sunflowers. She finally starts asking me questions? I turn my back to her. I overdid it a little bit too much, but it was effective....I got into conversations with girls who otherwise would have blown me out in the past.

After all the fun&games I started my mission to find a girl to take home with me. I asked 5 different girls if they wanted to come home with me. I wasn't interested in all the girls though, I just asked some of them for practice. There was one girl who had been giving me IOIs. I opened her, and she was instantly giving me seductive sort of looks. I did some brief chit chat and kino with her, asked her if she wanted to come back to my place. When she said maybe, I told her I'd come find her later. Then I was thinking...hmm...what if I can't find her later? So I go up to her the next time I see her and get her number. Now, listen. She'd always see me when I was not talking to anyone. And I did not build up any comfort with her. Then by the time I was finished with the other girl I was trying to bring home (which I will talk about next), she had left. I texted her, but no reply...I was so afraid to mess up that I didn't take it any further than the initial talking...this will be a lesson.

I opened a group of 2 girls on the patio, they were asking me for my ID. The one of them seems to be into me. I'll call her Angela. I talk with them for a little bit, get Angela's number, and tell them I'll come find them later. Earlier in the night I had seen this young looking girl and pretended to be a bouncer and asked her for her ID. Obviously I'm not a bouncer, I thought she could take it as a joke. Little did I know this would come back to bite me hard in the ass.

I'm texting angela:

backstory: are you gonna be leaving soon?
angela: not sure honestly
backstory: depends on mom
angela: exactly
angela: sitting in the same spot
backstory: ohhh ok. im just about ready to get out of here.
angela: gotcha
backstory: come with me? we can go somewhere more quiet and less crowded or you can staay here with everyone
angela: my friends are staying over tonight

Ah, so I go back to the patio and chat with them for like 30 seconds then leave again. I realize that in order to make this happen I need to build a little bit of comfort with angela. have a one on one conversation, you know? Soo I go back and i'm talking with angela. We're getting deep into conversation, and she's trying to impress me by saying she gets high marks in school and stuff. I make sure to qualify her on this. Things were going good, but there is this one part of the conversation where she gets really testy and annoyed..I'm pretty sure it was because my frame was a little weak at that point in the conversation but I'm not sure. I was really tired and was actually zoning out a little bit so my ability to relate to her sucked. Anyways shes flipping her hair like mad and holding strong eye contact. She's trying to get me to qualify myself but I ain't letting that happen!!! Then the rest of her friends show up. And the one friend is the young looking girl I pretended to be the bouncer with earlier in the night. She's pissed at me because of what I did with her and does not want me to talk to angela. Greaaat. Just what I need, a cockblocking friend. So anyways after the initial hostility the cockblocking friend is sitting beside me and I have my arm around her and she's trying to derail mine and angelas conversation. I just look at angela with an inquisitive face and angela just looks at me like "I don't know!" But angela is winking at her cockblocking friend repeatedly, LMFAOOO....I guess it meant "hey silly get the hint, I'm okay with talking to him."

So anyways angela starts saying "yeah i really need to go to the bathroom. i have a full bladder. backstory do you need to go to the bathroom?" i knew what it meant...but i wasn't sure exactly what it meant...and i wasn't sure how to execute it. so then she gets all her friends to go to the bathroom with her. I'm waiting outside the bathroom. when they get out, angels friends are making a protective circle around her. the cockblocking friend comes up to me and is being a total bitch and won't even let me talk to angela.

Cockblock: blablalba i hate what you did earlier blbakahaj
backstory: *general amusement*
cocblock: she's not even interested in you so just leave!!!
backstory: lol ? who said I was interested in her? let me say goodbye, her and I had a good conversation

Somewhere in this whole interaction I asked angela if she was having an after party - she said no, she was having a sleepover. ANYWAYS I could have pulled this off with a little bit of isolation from her friends initially...

There was another girl, she was giving me the wettest doggy dinner bowl eyes!! Conversation ran out and I didn't know what to say, so I pulled a pattern out on her, then asked her to come to africa with me afterwards. She agrees that she will wholeheartedly and puts her number in my phone. I get her to give me a cheek kiss and I leave. Now I'm sitting at home writing this and she really wants me to go to her place and she says she will pick me up. Should I go? Hmm...

On the way back to my house, my cab driver told me he thought I was in the military because of my posture. Interesting. Military posture is pretty aggressive lol....

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

backstory goes to the bar: further reflection

i did some more thinking about what happened last night. Here's some more about angela, the cockblock, and some more interesting stuff that happened:

Talking with angela, I called her a brat just to tease her. Then we got into a frame battle over it. She got quite spunky and fiery and started qualifying herself to me about why she is not a brat. She was talking about how she pays for all her schooling and then still has money to go on trips overseas, then practically ordered me to qualify myself: do i make enough money to do that? i just gave her an eye roll and said something like, "yes i have a job." A better way to handle this situation would have been to say something like, "you don't have to prove yourself to me. i was teasing you for fun!" i have to be careful about teasing women, sometimes i say the wrong thing in the wrong moment.

I was thinking more about angela's friend, the cockblock who was pissed off at me and didn't want angela and i to keep talking. Thinking back, the cockblock was submissive towards my frames, and I believe that she liked me. In fact, I probably had a chance to go home with her, except I was so focussed on angela that I didn't realize it at the time. Here's some of the signs:

Angela, her friend, and I are sitting at a booth. The cockblock and another girl come up to the booth and see me sitting there. Cockblock starts complaining that she doesn't like me and asks me to leave. I don't leave, because I'm not intimidated and angela doesn't want me to leave either. It's me and angela vs the cockblock basically. Angela asks me to slide over to make room for her friends. Cockblock slides into the booth right beside me. Then she's engaging in this weird behaviour...like she's sitting really close to me and actually laying her head on my shoulder!? What the fucccck. I put my arm around her and she does not resist. Hmmm....she tries telling me that how I treated her terrible and is implying I suck with girls. I just reply, "cool." Like, she's trying to frame me as a shitty person who scares off girls yet here I am talking to angela who's clearly attracted to me! Yet here I am, with my arm around her. Her frame just doesn't make sense and everyone else knows it. You know what though, instead of saying "cool" like I didn't give a shit, I should have apologized at least in some sort of way, I wonder how she would act towards me if I had apologized?

Later, after they get out of the bathroom, the cockblock is still complaining to me. I'm locked in against the wall, and I'm slumped. She is in front of me and because I am slumped she is taller than me. She starts saying submissively how she WANTS me to stand up straighter so I can be taller and puts her hands on my chest to try to get me to straighten up. I stay slumped, lol. Then she won't break eye contact with me and says:

cockblock: why are you staring at me?
backstory: why are you staring at ME?

Hmm...soo..I don't know. I know that staring contests are always some sort of test and whenever it happens, the broad says, "why are you staring at me?" or "is this a staring contest?" I need to get better at my responses to these questions. Maybe in a few weeks I will be able to better understand this whole entire situation. Wouldn't it be funny if I texted angela and asked for the cockblocks number? She was attractive to me. Better looking than angela too.

Otherwise...I was locked in against a wall earlier in the night and looking over the dance floor. There was this friggin weirdo who was trying way too hard to get the attention of women. He would always get rejected. He came across as a jester. You know, it can be great to watch people do things wrong and analyze why they are doing it wrong. I felt embarrassed for him.

However there was a good looking guy with great fundamentals who I was having a fun time observing. He was with 2 girls, and he was making out with both of them. He put on an interesting display of dominance at one point. One of the girls was not looking at him. He grabbed her face and turned it towards him. She loved it. The jester was all over this dude and his girls trying to peel them away from him and otherwise get involved in their interaction.

I was in conversation with this girl for like 15 minutes: we were sitting down at a table. Then, all of a sudden, she just got up and ran away to the dance floor without saying a word. It was kind of weird. I realized I didn't show much interest, the conversation was mostly polite and not the most fun. This is probably why.

I was talking to this one girl, and in the middle of it I realized....THIS GIRL IS NOT INVESTING ANYTHING INTO THIS CONVERSATION AND I'M LOOKING LIKE A TRYHARD! I was investing twice as much as she was. I said goodbye, I wasn't sure how to turn it around so she was investing more in this situation. Hmm, I will have to keep a keen eye on investment levels in future interactions.

I was actually auto-rejecting over hot girls who were giving me IOIs..this is a mindset I need to conquer if I want to get better with women.

Overall I need to work on making the process of inviting girls home with me smoother. I will do some reading and strategizing.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Today's been good so far. I am feeling very confident and it shows. I was walking around at school and was getting tons of IOI and looks of attraction from girls. Getting into conversations was ridiculously easy.

Polar Bear Blues

I was sitting in the cafeteria at school, alone. This girl in a blue leather jacket walks by my table. Then, she walks by it again shortly after, and goes down the hall and plants herself in line to get coffee. I'm thinking it was an IOI. I feel like she went out of her way to walk by my table a second time.

I go up to her and engage her in conversation. We chat until she gets to the front of the line. She does not notice she's next in line - the guy behind her taps her back. She goes and orders. I tell her to come find me after and I plant myself to the side. While I'm waiting, I see my buddy and I'm talking to him. He knows I run a lot of game at school, so I tell him I'm just waiting for this girl to order and then I'm gonna get her number.

The girl comes back up to me, and my buddy leaves right away. I was happy:

backstory: what are you up to right now?
girl: I'm just going to hang out with some friends and chat.
backstory: ok what do you say we hang out for a bit and talk more right now?
girl: i dont think i can. but we can meet up tomorrow and talk!
backstory: okay put your number in my phone and we can sort it out.

I wasn't direct at all, but I'm not even worried about it. I'll just pick up where I left off if I see her again. And I was amazed at how smoothly this all went...i'm thinking that i might scale things back in my future interactions, and throw out hints that I wanna see her again, which will allow the girl to suggest that we hang out. This would be very low investment on my part, abiding by the law of least effort.

Instant Attraction?

I see a girl walking down the hall. She spots me and puts her head down in submission. I open her enthusiastically as she's walking by me and her face lights up. I do the double hand grab and give her piercing eye contact. She's holding eye contact with me. Turns out she's headed to work. I ask her if she wants to hang out later tonight after work. she says not doing anything, so maybe. Same day lay? We'll see.

I almost asked, "you're single, right?" But I decided not to. There's no need to. I know she's attracted to me, and she knows I'm attracted to her, so there's no need to bring out this line. Who cares if there's a boyfriend involved. Plus, I feel that toning down the verbal directness with girls who are already attracted to me will help with the "player problem" that I feel I'm experiencing. Also, I'm actually realizing I'm using the "you're single right?" line to signal my attraction for a girl...there's something very wrong with this.

TONIGHT

Tonight I'm going to hang out with a girl I met at the bar on Sunday night. I will report back later on it.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Her First Queef

Tonight I hung out with a girl I met at the bar on Sunday. I'll call her Allison. I'm not attracted to her. But I figured that I might as well gain some reference points.

I went over to her apartment. I could sense she was a little nervous. She started drinking alcohol. She kept on changing her frames to match mine and WOULD NOT STOP BLABBING about boring stuff! Every time she came to the end of whatever long-ass tangent she got onto, she would struggle to keep it going as long as possible. It reminds me of the old times where I would be talking to a girl I liked and I was blabbing my face off and I didn't want there to be any pauses in the conversation for fear of it being awkward.

Escalation was quite easy for me. I lean in to make out with her but she gives me a nice granny kiss. Immediately after, she says:

allison: wow that was random!!!
backstory: yeah. so you were talking about blablalba? what did you mean when you said blablabla

I knew that the kiss was a little bit unexpected to her and she reacted by giving me a granny kiss. She wasn't objecting to it or anything. 30 seconds later I try again and we make out a little, but she stops quickly.

After this she won't stop complaining about family issues, and I'm actually quite annoyed. Did I come all the way over to this broad's house only to be her emotional tampon and have her give me a shitty kiss? WTF.

So anyways she's drinking and drinking and drinking and I know that she's probably doing it to deal with her nervousness, lol...I wasn't even drinking.

I start kissing her more though, and then she gives me a blow job. We move to her bed and she gives me more head. I eat her out and finger her and she tells me it's really hard for her to get off most of the time. We try to fuck a few times but I just can't stay hard enough to get inside her.

Then she lets a big juicy queef rip for (apparently) the very first time in her life and she is very embarrassed about it. She won't stop talking about it. I tell her I'm not judging and that I don't really care. She's also concerned about the fact that I couldn't stay hard enough to fuck her. I let her know it's not her fault.

It was a really boring time. Nothing special. Good reference points though. I will learn how to better deal with it when females are embarrassed about queefing.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Married Woman (I will call her Aubrey from now on) came over today. We fucked.

After the last time we hung out, she was really eager to hang out with me again. I was out of town for like three weeks, though, so we couldn't get together. Every few days, she'd text me saying, "hey are you back yet?" It was annoying and chasey.

The most annoying part was that I was finding it difficult to stay hard, I can get hard easy but if there's no stimulation at all I go soft in like 2 seconds flat. She was on top the whole time - If we tried to change to other positions it wouldn't work, i would deflate. Why am I having this problem lately? ughhhh....at least I'm not cumming really quick.

She was talking about how it was a buzzkill. How she was waiting for 3 weeks for me to get back into town, only for us to hang out and have me underperform. Then she says, "well at least the sex we DID have was alright." I'm not sure if she said that to make me feel better, haha. She then got upset and said that she thinks I hate her and find her ugly, and that's why I haven't came for her yet. I told her no, that's not the case. Right after this she got a lot more submissive.

Heh, heh, I can't wait to find more bitches to stick my dick in this weekend. I need to keep this momentum going, I most certainly wish to get good at banging in as little time as possible.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

I have hickeys on my neck from yesterday.

Giraffe

I haven't seen Giraffe in 8 years. Giraffe is quick to mention the hickeys on my neck. I don't admit to them being hickeys. She won't stop bringing them up, despite multiple attempts on my part to change the conversation. I ask her if she would like to contribute and give me one. I forget what she said. Here's the end of our conversation:

backstory: hey lets go for coffee or hang out sometime
giraffe: with all these women throwing themselves at you, why would you wanna hang out with me?
backstory: ummmm...*caught off guard* i wanna catch up with you
giraffe: catch up, eh?
backstory: yea put your number in my phone and we can sort things out later
giraffe: well I'm taken so...
backstory: you're married!?
giraffe: no I'm not married *laughs*
backstory: so its not serious?
giraffe: *laughs and gives me a playful push* byeee i gotta get back to work
backstory: byeee
giraffe: what was that look for!?

The presence of hickeys adds an interesting dynamic to my conversations.

She's Gonna Freak Out

Girl 1 and Girl 2 opened me when I was walking into a mcdonald's last winter. They loved my style. Ever since then I have seen Girl 1 around school quite often. We say hello but never get into conversation. Rarely do I see Girl 2.

Today I saw Girl 1. We chat a little bit. Then:

backstory: hey let's hang out sometime
Girl 1: yeah sure! we can invite Girl 2 as well
backstory: alright
Girl 1: Yeah she's gonna freak out when I tell her
backstory: ok throw your number in my phone

Maybe I can find a way to bypass hanging out with Girl 1 and Girl 2 as a group... and just hang out with Girl 2, alone, who is (apparently) into me. But it'd also be cool to hang out with them as a group and observe the group dynamics for reference points. Girl 1 would likely not cockblock.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Aggressive Cockblocks @ Pride Festival

The past few days I've been running game at a pride festival thats taking place in a park here in town. It's a new sort of environment for me and I'm not sure about the appropriate way to talk to girls. Should I be screening for sexuality? Aren't most girls bi anyways?

I'm sitting on a bench and notice this group of three girls about 10 feet to my right. They are standing beside another bench. They seem to be staring at me quite a bit. I go up to Girl 1 and open her indirect. She's rude to me. Then her and Girl 2 start acting aloof and ignoring me. It is very non-verbal. But then Girl 3 starts talking to me..she has pretty poor english:

backstory: what are you up to right now?
Girl 3: we saw something going on over here so we came to see what it was

All of a sudden...

Cockblock 1: *Very stern* Excuse me!! These girls aren't interested in talking to you.
Cockblock 2: Yeah!! Can't you see?
Cockblock 1: I think you need to leave!!

I stop the initial conversation I have started with Girl 3 and look over at the 2 female cockblocks who are rudely interrupting. They are sitting on the bench right next to the group of 3 girls. The cockbocks don't appear to be friends with the 3 girls - they are a separate group. I am just shocked... I'm caught off guard and not sure what to do. I didn't know what to say:

backstory: *frowning, and staring at cockblocks.*
Cockblock 1 + 2: *staring back*
Cockblock 2: I hope you're rolling up your sleeves because you're going to punch me!!
backstory: *walks away*

My sleeves were already rolled up from before. I was unconsciously adjusting them...I don't know why. I don't think it was due to nervousness though.

I have never truly been aggressively cockblocked like this before in the DAY TIME... so this was a very novel situation for me to experience. I think that the more aggressive I get in my approaches, the more likely this stuff is to happen. I say this was pretty aggressive because I approached these girls in front of other people, and I persisted after they clearly showed some disinterest.

What would have been the best way to handle this situation? Hmmm...I think that the disinterested behaviour from Girl 1 + 2 was NOT ACTUALLY A REJECTION. I believe it was more of a test. I should have responded to their non-verbal snuffing by using non-verbals as well. I was actually responding to it with words. If I had done this, and there were no cockblocks involved, then I think I actually could have gotten through to them.

And as for the 2 cockblocks, I should have just ignored them - just like I would in a nightclub. The 3 girls weren't saying anything. I did not say one word to the cockblocks, but I could have just given them an eye roll instead of staring and frowning at them. I'm glad I didn't try to qualify myself by saying something like, "I'm just trying to have a friendly talk with them." I was considering saying to the three girls "hm, these people think you're not interested in talking to me. what do you think?" but I realized this would make me look like an idiot considering I hadn't gotten past these girl's shields yet.

Silver Moon

Silver Moon sometimes comes into my work. I can tell she's into me. I'm into her, too. During our first interaction, I felt like my attainability was a little bit low with her - she was acting shy and unnatural around me. The next time I saw her was when she was working at her workplace. I told her that I thought she was attractive. Her face lit up. I've had a few more short interactions with her since then and every single time she is enthusiastic to see me, as well as compliant. My attainability is right where it needs to be with her.

But....I never got her number. So today I went into her work to see if she was there and get it. She was there, but she was on break and was in the middle of chatting with some of her co-workers. I open her and we talk with each other a bit. Unfortunately her coworkers kept interrupting, which kind of threw me off and prevented me from getting into a good bubble with her. However there was strong eye contact between me and her and she was smiling very wide at me the whole time. I did some light kino, and got her number. I feel like the conversation was a tad too serious but that's okay - I will make sure to show her my fun side when we hang out.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Went bar hopping tonight. When I finally worked up some momentum I was doing really well - my vibe was killer. Girls were clearly interested and captivated by me instantly. Attraction would go waaay up when I passed their tests, WHICH WERE SO FUCKING EASY TO PASS.. but... I would always get cockblocked by their friends. Non-stop cockblocking. It was exhausting. Here's the most interesting interactions:

3 Way Makeout

I'm flirting with two girls, apparently they're dating. The one girl whispers to her girlfriend:

Girl 1: Wanna have a threesome [with him]?

Couldn't hear what the reply was. Later I lean in to kiss Girl 1, because she's giving me flirty looks... but Girl 2 pulls her away real quick.

Girl 1 and 2 start making out intermittently and every time they stop, Girl 1 continues to look at me seductively. Girl 1 is also brushing her boobs against me. I tried going for a 3 way makeout but they didn't want to. It was definitely within reach, I just approached it wrong...They said they would give me cheek kisses though. They gave me a lot of cheek kisses.

Next thing you know, they are walking away to get a cab. I realized I should have moved them waaaaay earlier. Hm, what's the proper way to set up a three way make out?

Swept Off Her Feet

I'm walking down the street and a group of two girls open me. The less attractive one is asking me for directions. I start being all witty with her and she gets upset and walks away. Her friend, who is clearly dressed to get laid, stays and talks to me. I very quickly hit an emotional hook point with her, and I'm about to run some kino routines and start escalating on her, when THIS TALL JACKED GUY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE, PICKS HER UP, SAYS, "you're coming home with me" AND CONTINUES TO WALK with her in her arms. She does not resist.

Clearly this dude noticed easy pickings and swooped in with a great show of dominance.

Hummingbird Lady

Earlier in the night before I'm warmed up I get opened by a group of 2 girls, Flower Lady and Hummingbird Lady. I'm chatting with them, things are going good. Then this guy and his friend come in and start cockblocking. The girls momentarily lose interest in me. However, the girls don't hook on what the cockblocks are saying. The cockblocks realize this and shift to a new strategy: the head cockblock is trying to get the two girls to kiss. He fails - the girls do not want to kiss. I point this out and he starts getting pissed. The girls are back on my side. I start focusing in on Hummingbird Lady. She's giving me seductive looks. The cockblocks leave and Flower Lady starts pulling Hummingbird Lady away to get in a cab. I say... "Noo! Wait 2 minutes." Flower Lady refuses to wait. I tell Hummingbird Lady we should hang out sometime. I grab her number (Flower Lady says, "DON'T GIVE HIM YOUR NUMBER") say goodbye, and pull her in for a hug. She's doing that lingering thing with her head like she's expecting more. I could have made out with her. I DIDN'T. I text her number, and it's a fake number.

My excuse for making a move was that I was not warmed up. Pretty bad excuse.

Anyways, I see the cockblocks a few more times throughout the night. My fundamentals are better than theirs. I repay the favor and cockblock THEM hard every time I see them talking with a new girl. I blow up their interactions so easily. The head cockblock gets mad at me saying I'm definitely not getting laid tonight, blablabla...

You Share Her?

I go up to this girl, who's standing around with three guys:

backstory: are these your boyfriends?
girl: yes
backstory: *looks at guys* okay so...the three of you share her?
beta 1: yeah we rotate weekly.

LMFAOOOO. All of a sudden one of the guys (her boyfriend?) is trying to fight me and the girl is holding him back. I walk away.

Closing Thoughts

It was a fun night, but I need to work on my strategy for next time I go out because it's a highly competitive environment. Since I am able to get girls to hook quickly, I can't be lolligagging. I need to be more dominant and escalate faster, otherwise I'll just continue to get destroyed by cockblocks. I'm proud of myself - I have remained 100% sober the last 2 times I went out.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

I'M A SLACKER

I have been truly slacking. Usually I approach 10 or more women every day. Lately I have been way less consistent, both in the amount of women I’m approaching and the days I am going out to game. More like 5-8 girls every other day. This is bad. I haven’t been learning as much as I usually do.

I’m eager to get back on track. I’m making a goal to approach at least 60 women this week. I’m also going to put a lot of energy into improving my fundamentals this week - it’s been a while since I worked on them.

FUCK Polite Conversations

Despite the everlasting war in my head of whether I should go in direct/indirect, there's one problem I know is plaguing my interactions: POLITE CONVERSATIONS. A lot of the time I'll go up to a girl, get into a conversation with her, and it'll just be a polite conversation. These are conversations that anyone can have on autopilot. They aren't the slightest bit interesting. There's no emotions involved. There's no teasing or sexual undertones. I hate these conversations where both parties are on their best behaviour. Fuck these conversations! They never turn out well for me and I'm wasting my time with them. I'm going to A) start using rapport breaks and B) be more polarizing to rid my interactions of this disgusting vermin.

What Is The Best Stuff To Reveal?

I'm sort of getting a handle on what I should reveal about myself to certain girls in order to make them intrigued by me. For example, creative girls are intrigued by my short fiction stories. Spiritual girls are intrigued by the fact that I have synesthesia. I will have to figure out what girls of other types are intrigued by.

Talia

I am becoming a lot more strict about getting numbers. My new mindset is quality over quantity. I'm only gonna get a girl's number if I feel like it will really result in something, and I'm not chasing her for it. This way I'm not wasting time. I could have gotten 2-3 numbers today, but only took down the number of 1 girl: her name is Talia.

We connected really well, and I intrigued her, but I wasn't verbally direct AT ALL. Sigh. Here's some snippets from our conversations:

backstory: *grabs hand and looks at rings* are you married...?
talia: haha god no, i dont do relationships anymore.
backstory: ohhhh, so you're single.

Later:

backstory: lets hang out sometime
talia: okay...we're just gonna be chilling, right?
backstory: yeah *very subtle sexy smile*

Notice how she is asking me to set the frame of our future interactions. She is trying to find out what my intentions are. Specifically... she is trying to figure out if I want to go on a date with her or not. Now, when I clarified that yes, her and I are just gonna be hanging out, she accepted it. However, "hanging out" is super ambiguous. It could mean hanging out as friends, or it could mean hanging out and fucking. Thing is... she didn't say "we're just gonna be chilling as friends, right?" SHE LEFT IT EQUALLY AMBIGUOUS.

I texted her and she replied back very enthusiastically. I think I might have a good shot at bedding this chick. She's opposed to relationships, we have a lot in common, she finds me intriguing, we've already connected...the only thing left to do is hang out with her, do some kino and get some more compliance, make her feel some strong emotions, then bang her.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

It'd be so cool to meet up with Inbocca, Kristian, a-jay, Kvothe, and Hueman to game with them. Maybe one day it will happen.

I Am A Threat

- More girls and guys than ever are bowing their heads in submission. The bowing of the head is getting more pronounced as well.
- Guys are staring and giving me a jealous look.
- I've noticed that when I pass couples, one of them will get protective. For example, its happened a lot lately where the girl saw me then grabbed her boyfriend's hand to hold onto it. Or the guy saw me then started touching his girlfriend's butt. Stuff like that.
- There have been times where I reach hook points instantly, or ridiculously quickly. It's astonishing to me.

Why is this happening lately? I've nearly perfected my walk. I think this has a lot to do with it. At this point I feel like I'm clearly the better option than most of the guys I see around. I feel really confident, I know people can tell. I will have to keep an eye on attainability.

I think I could steal a lot of girls from their boyfriends. I think I will try. One girl today was with her chump of a boyfriend. She gave me a flirty look when he wasn't looking.

Improvements

I have a tendency to feel rushed when I'm running out of time in an interaction. For example, when I meet a girl at a bus stop and her bus is coming shortly, I start feeling like I'm running out time. This leads to me doing things like using a higher pitched tone of voice, speaking faster, using faster body movements, and saying stupid things. This is so bad. I feel like it's ruined a lot of my interactions. I will have to focus on being calm no matter what - even while running out of time.

Right now I'm consciously focusing on perfecting my walk. Both the way I walk, and the speed at which I walk at. This is taking up a lot of my mind power. I can't wait till it's internalized. After that I will focus on my voice and making sure it is ALWAYS deep and resonant, especially when opening.

I'm going to have a 6 pack in 6 weeks time. And imagine when I get a REALLY sexy haircut? I'm feeling really happy about where things are going with my fundamentals.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Day game has been hard and frustrating for me recently. I feel like I’m not on top of my game lately. I feel like I’m doing super shitty. But am I actually? I’m doing the same thing that I always have. However, I am starting to have conscious awareness of ALL the mistakes I am making. I know why I’m not succeeding. In any particular interaction, I know that if I had done something a little differently, then I would have been more successful. On top of this, I'm starting to notice a lot of patterns in the way people are reacting to me. Particular vocal tones and facial expressions are becoming more common. I will have to spend some time analyzing why people are reacting to me in this particular way and become more adaptable. I'm eager to talk to 1000s of more girls.

Incongruence is Yucky

I believe incongruence has ruined many of my interactions. Chicks can smell this from a mile away. So I’m gonna remove incongruent stuff from my interactions. I will only give away compliments if I honestly truly mean what I am saying. Chicks light up when I give them a genuine compliment. I won’t ask girls to hang out if there was no substance or connection in the conversation, or we don’t click in any way….it just doesn’t make sense! I will do some more thinking about other ways I am being incongruent.

The Polite Vocal Tone

Sometimes I open a girl and she is very friendly, but has this weird polite vocal tone. It's almost condescending. I fuckin hate it. I think girls view me as low value when they use this vocal tone.

The “What is Going on?” Facial Expression

I like to open girls indirect with the purpose of feeling them out and seeing if we click before showing interest. However, I get a certain look a lot when doing this. It is the “what is going on?” facial expression. They seem to be confused about what the point of all this is. I've become desensitized to the fact that being approached by a friendly stranger during the day is really weird to the majority of people. I’m interested to see how people will react if start being more direct after they give me this facial expression.

I think my problem is that I’m not direct about my intentions enough of the time.

Lip Looks

I realized that I’m actually apprehensive about looking at the lips of girls I’ve just met for more than a brief moment. I feel like I will get caught. But so what if I get caught. What I am going to do is look at the lips of girls I just met for longer amounts of time and see if I can get purposely get caught.

Vibe Problems

I am noticing problems with my vibe. I let girls affect my vibe. I continuously get thrown off lately because I'm experiencing new situations all the time and I'm unsure how to handle it or act.

She's Afraid to Show Interest

I think it's time to start troubleshooting situations where girls are afraid to show their interest towards me.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

I hate reading back on my previous journal entries because I make myself seem like a nerd and I don't show any personality. They're awkward.

Amelia

The last time I ever got friend zoned was by a girl named Amelia. I met her two summers ago and she was showing interest in me, but I was too much of a pussy to make a move. We hung out quite a bit. After a month of hanging out, I worked up enough guts to kiss her, but by that point I was really deep in the friend zone and she was really resistant to my advances. At the end of the summer we both left town. She texted me something like "I was thinking about asking you to have sex with me but blablabla some stupid excuse why she didnt blablabla." That was really annoying to me.

We still talk once every 6 months or so... we chatted on the phone last night. She said that we should hang out next weekend because she's gonna be close to the city I live in. I'm a totally different guy than I was 2 years ago, soooo...if I do decide to see her, I'm gonna fuck her pussy

The Artists

I approached a group of two artistic looking girls sitting on a bench and opened them by saying they looked like artists. They said they were actually artists and hooked quite quickly.

One of them (Sassy Pants) was eating some sorta cake and the other, Indigo, was just sitting around. I ask them what mediums they use for their art. Sassy pants says she uses 9 different mediums. Indigo starts talking about how she thinks that people who see ordinary things as art in the world could be considered artists. I agree with this frame she presents but don't really know why she's talking about that.

Sassy Pants seemed engaged at first, but I started chatting mostly with Indigo and Sassy Pants lost interest and focussed on eating her food. I also noticed Indigo checkin me out a few times, hehhh. When I told them I was planning to leave soon, Indigo sort of suggested that I add both of them on facebook - so I did.

I didn't realize this till after...Indigo is not really an artist, she was just qualifying herself as an artist to me. She was adapting herself as best as she could to fit my frame. I think girls do this more often than not around me, I just don't realize it.

I started a conversation with Indigo on facebook, we'll see if it goes anywhere. I think she's interested.

She Was Afraid To Show Interest

I'm in line getting coffee, and I see a girl walking up to the line. She puts her head down as she sees me. I start talking with her. She hooks quickly, has an attracted sort of look on her face, seems happy and is engaged in the conversation. It comes my time to order, so I order my coffee. Afterwards I talk to her again - she's immediately engaged again, but she doesn't seem to know what to do or say... I left because I was not attracted to her, but I realize that she was afraid to show interest in me and was not used to these sorts of social situations.

Plans For This Week

This coming week I plan to work on sexual facial expressions. I am also going to be hanging out with Talia on Monday.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Do You Do This All The Time?

I was day gaming at a festival today, and once I got warmed up and tweaked my strategy to include banter, something interesting happened...!

In two of my interactions, I got asked, "Do you do this all the time?" (I've never been asked this before). Recalling Chase's objection article, I replied, "Only every third tuesday of the month." All I could remember was how to reply to this, I didn't realize it made me have low attainability.

The girls I was focussing on in these interactions (both interactions involved groups of girls) were flipping their hair and hooked quickly. I'm going to go into details about one of the interactions, that involved a group of two girls. One of the girls basically had her tits hanging out.

backstory: hey! you girls come over here
girls 1 + 2: hey whats up
backstory: i have something to tell you...
girl 1: whats that? *eye sparkle*
backstory: I have a problem.
girl 1: what is it!?
backstory: i have a really hard time saying the alphabet backwards.
girl 1: doesnt everyone?
backstory: you have a hard time too!? get outtt. i thought i was the only one.
girl 1: do you do this all the time?
backstory: do what
girl 1: just talk to random people like this
backstory: only every third tuesday of the month

Can't remember what came next but I know this was in somewhere:

backstory: *looking at girl 1's tits* those are huuuuge!
girl 1 + 2: *laughing*

I'm walking with girls 1 + 2 and then I tell them to stop walking so we can chat. I get their names.. Girl 1 with the big tits is named Sierra and Girl 2 is Hannah.

backstory: okay your name is Sierra? *pointing to Hannah* and your name is Hannah *pointing to Sierra*
Girls: no haha hahaha other way around
backstory: okay nice to meet you Hannah and nice to meet you Sierra BigTits.
Girls: *laughing*

*More banter*

backstory: how do you two know each other?
Hannah: She dated my brother
backstory: really? how was that (shouldn't have asked this)
Sierra: blablabla

Sierra is definitely engaged and she's tossing/flipping her hair (interesting IOI, it's very different than girls touching their hair. angela was doing this as well a few weeks ago at the bar). However, we're not standing that close to each other and she seems quite apprehensive about me. I'm trying to get her to give me her hand so I can do a palm read but she is non-compliant and sketched out about it. Then she recommends we go on the grass where it's quieter. This is where she starts testing me and being REALLY rude:

Sierra: You probably never get laid. (Something along these lines, can't remember..I know she said something about me not being experienced with girls)
backstory: of course not.. you're the first girl I've ever talked to. My mom died at a young age otherwise you'd be the second.
Sierra: well we're here to talk to boys but clearly we aren't succeeding *looks at Hannah*
backstory: *looking at sierra, not saying anything*
Hannah: he looks like a boy to me.

She tests me a few more times, I (believe) I passed them all except for one where I ended up over-reacting a little bit. Sigh. After this we start discussing our ages, which is where things start to get a little tense. I say they look like they are in high school and that they are probably too young for me. Then they start saying they are VERY young (agreeing with my push frame), which I highly doubt. Either way, bringing out a push at that moment was the wrong thing to do...shoulda used a pull.

Sierra: you know what, I'm getting a bad vibe here.. *starts being aloof*

It looks like they are getting ready to leave. We say our goodbyes and as I'm walking away Sierra starts blabbing:

Sierra: Don't ever hit on girls like that, it clearly doesn't work!
backstory ...like what?
Sierra: *holding her tits, referencing my comments about her big tits*

This could have turned out better IF I had handled things a little differently. They were at the festival to meet guys, and Sierra clearly wanted attention considering her EXTREMELY low cut shirt. She was attracted to me - but I probably seemed like a player to her. I should have had a better frame, upped my attainability, done way more comfort building with Sierra, and maybe expressed more verbal interest in her, and otherwise just moved quicker...If everything had gone right, I could have isolated her from her friend and brought her to a porta potty.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Other People's State Of Mind

I wore one of my favourite shirts today and got many compliments, as usual...The majority of people I talked to genuinely liked it and were curious about it. Then, I get a compliment from this one random broad in a group of people i opened. "I like your shirt" she says. I could tell she didn't actually really like my shirt - she was saying it just for the sake of saying it! Probably just to be polite. I could tell by her vocal tone - it was different compared to other people who genuinely like it.

I can't believe I'm only noticing this now - I have gotten lots of compliments in the past where people (girls) were obviously not genuine about it. They were being incongruent, I just wasn't socially aware of it. Maybe I will call people out on it when this happens next, just for fun...and see what happens.

Also, the other day I was not yet warmed up and did not have a lot of momentum built. I was struggling in my conversations. Then I started chatting with a girl who was handing out food samples. Conversation with her was so easy. I realized that she probably had a lot of social momentum built up from talking to people all day and that's what made it so easy. It's likely that when you have social momentum, 2 things happen: you find it easier to talk, and other people find it easier to talk to you.

Talia: A Surprising Lady

I was supposed to hang out with Talia today - we were gonna go for coffee. However she told me she had plans afterwards and that we could only hang for a short while, and she asked if I wanted to reschedule to a day where she had more time to hang out. I decided it would be a good idea to reschedule cuz I didn't think I could make something happen in the short amount of time there was. I told her, "we could hang later after your plans, or another day." Then she suggested we hang out on Wednesday.

I find this really surprising...when I met her I only talked to her for 10 minutes and that was a long time ago. I didn't even do any emotional cementing. However it seems like she's putting a lot of investment into our texting exchange so far. Initially I asked her to hang out last Friday @ 6PMish. Then she got back to me on Saturday and sent me a huge long text explaining why she didn't get back to me, and then blabbed a lot more about her schedule. Then today she sent me a huge long text about a possible rescheduling. And she's putting active effort into making plans. Like, suggesting times to hang out.

Idk, I wouldn't spend ages writing out texts to someone I barely knew who I talked to for just ten minutes. I guess it's surprising because I haven't had this situation happen before in cold approach..a girl putting continuous effort into making plans to hang out, after the first and second plans fall through..

Are Girls Investing More in Me In General? Or Maybe I am Just Investing Way Less?

- Indigo was hinting that I add her on Facebook (i had no intentions of getting her contact info).
- Talia is putting effort into making plans with me
- Sierra said we should move onto the grass together
- Today, after walking by a french chick giving me AIs a few times but not opening her, she called me over to her to talk.

IDK. Maybe I'm overthinking or becoming more aware of the investment levels of girls in general. But it seems like girls who like me are actively investing, without me asking for investment, and doing the things that I would normally be doing. For example, normally I would be the one to ask for compliance and say that we should move somewhere else. I'm gonna do some more thinking about investment

IOI: Body Scanning

This one has been happening for a while: sometimes I will be in conversation with a girl and she will "check me out" in a sense...she will glance at what I'm wearing. The eye movements are tough to explain. Indigo did this several times throughout our conversation. Recently after I opened a different girl, she did this and started ignoring me immediately afterwards. Guess she didn't like what she saw.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Is It Serious?

Part of a conversation from today, pretty standard stuff:

backstory: you're single right?
girl: no i have a boyfriend
backstory: ok, is it serious?
girl: we've been dating for two years.

I'm getting a lot of girls, who, when I ask if their relationship is serious, reply back with the amount of time they have been dating their boyfriend. They don't say, "yes it's serious" or "no it's not serious."

I wonder if they are implying it is serious, or if they are trying to weasel out of the question by making it ambiguous for me. Length of time in a relationship does not correlate to seriousness. Maybe I should start asking if the relationship is good or not.

Approaching Groups of Girls

I just realized today that I've been approaching groups of girls without fear. I used to totally avoid situations like these. I really need to work on my strategy for groups though, its pretty shitty at the moment. Today I even asked two girls collectively if they were single. cringe.

Reactions To Me: Polarized

I feel like the way girls react to me is getting way more polarized. Girls who are interested (when I open) immediately stand very close to me, smile a lot, give me laser eye contact, and generally are very warm. The whole standing very close to me behaviour is new.

On the other hand, there's been an increasing amount of girls recently who treat me very suspiciously and rudely upon opening. When I ask for their name, they ask me why I want their name and just generally refuse to tell me anything about themselves. I never used to have a problem with this. I could get a girl's name easily early in the conversation and she wouldn't make it seem like it was a problem. Now it's different.

What is going on..?

 

[Kvothe]

Re: backstory's frontstory

I just realized today that I've been approaching groups of girls without fear. I used to totally avoid situations like these. I really need to work on my strategy for groups though, its pretty shitty at the moment. Today I even asked two girls collectively if they were single. cringe.

Yep, I'm still at the place where I'm too scared to do this, so props to you for getting past it. When you figure out a good strategy for doing so, let me know, I'm curious for how to go about it.

My current way of thinking about it is this:
If it's two girls, you have to engage both, but focus on one.
If it's three to four, you would engage the girl, but potentially introduce yourself?
If it's more than that, just introduce yourself to the girl, and don't break circle

Of course, without actually testing it, I have no idea whether that's right. I remember in Chase's writing he says a lot of the times the best way is to just go for the girl, and not to talk to the friends (though my memory could also be off)