Passion Lab

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Date With Talia

Today I hung out with Talia, in public. This is my first date since I started cold approaching. All the other girls I've hooked up with who I've met from cold approach came straight to my house - no dates involved. Given my lack of experience with this area I was interested to see what problems and obstacles I would experience. I kept in mind a lot of Kvothe's field reports about dates he's been on.

Talia and I met at a coffee shop. We sat across from each other. She seemed a bit reserved at first, but conversation flowed easily and soon she was opening up - she started talking REALLY fast. I ran a pattern. I also did a palm read on her and did a cold read on her love life. She got very excited because I was right about it all. After a while I realized that I should move her outside so I could do more kino on her and get her comfortable with my touch - sitting across from each other was not exactly conducive for this.

We walk to a park, and during the walk I do some light touching on her shoulders and arms. For some reason, it just doesn't feel right. I back off a little bit and just stick with accidental touch for now. We sit at a picnic table at the park. Again, we are sitting across from each other. I start teasing her a little bit - she starts getting more emotionally involved in the conversation. I tell her to come back to my place to see my pets - she says that she won't have time because she has to go see her friend in a bit. I persist, but she is firm...she says she can't. Huh, oh well. I live 20 minutes away by bus anyways, so the logistics aren't the greatest. I bring up the topic of sex several times through our conversation, but I don't focus on it too much.

We walk around the park some more. I start being a lot more mysterious and avoid answering her questions. Since she's busy later I have to adjust my strategy. Should I try to escalate hard on her in public? Maybe bang her in a washroom? Or should I just chill, move a bit slower and save the fun stuff for a potential second date? We stop walking around and sit on a bench. Not very closely together, though. I am touching her leg every so often. It's been about 1.5 hours since we met up. We are chatting - but conversation isn't flowing like it used to. There's more pauses and the conversation is less interesting. Then we start getting back into good conversation again. She is talking about how she just broke up with her boyfriend like a week ago. She says they broke up because there's not an emotional connection and he doesn't understand her. However, she is very sexually attracted to him and the sex is great. She feels a magnetized pull towards him that she's never felt before. While she's describing this, I run another pattern on her. She REALLY agrees with what I'm saying. After I'm done with the pattern, I look at her lips. Immediately, She LICKS HER LIPS and her face suddenly changes - now she's got an attracted look on her face. whaaaat...this is good. This is the face girls give me when they are considering sleeping with me. The lip licking is new - never seen that happen before. She is very warm with me after this, and becomes a little bit more submissive, and even starts giving me "almost touches." In my experience, when a girl does "almost touches" its because wants to touch you but isn't comfortable with it quite yet. I start slowing down the conversation like mad - I'm introducing a lot of pregnant pauses.

After about 20 more minutes of chatting, she says she's hungry and I walk with her to go get food....my light kino feels more natural this time. She's dragging me all over the place because she can't decide what she wants to eat. I wonder if she's drawing this out because she wants me to make a move. So I get some logistics:

backstory: are you still hanging out with your friend?
talia: yeah she's texting me right now wondering where I am.

Ehhh....then we walk to the bus stop. Before she gets on her bus she says it was good to see me, gives me a hug, does a quick sort of linger like she wants me to kiss her, and says that we will hang out again sometime.

I wonder if she will ever contact me again? If not, it's no big deal. I got some good reference points. I believe I asked her home a little bit too early...I did not ask her after I saw the the attracted look on her face because I knew she would have to get going to see her friend soon. This is pussy shit!!! I should have at least asked again. Or started escalating/building tension a lot more in new ways. Instead I just maintained it, not pushing it too hard.

I feel like I could have done a lot better. I find I always mess up escalation windows. I wish I had been more verbally direct, too. However, I did do some things right.

 

[Kvothe]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Today I hung out with Talia, in public. This is my first date since I started cold approaching. All the other girls I've hooked up with who I've met from cold approach came straight to my house - no dates involved. Given my lack of experience with this area I was interested to see what problems and obstacles I would experience. I kept in mind a lot of Kvothe's field reports about dates he's been on.

Talia and I met at a coffee shop. We sat across from each other. She seemed a bit reserved at first, but conversation flowed easily and soon she was opening up - she started talking REALLY fast. I ran a pattern. I also did a palm read on her and did a cold read on her love life. She got very excited because I was right about it all. After a while I realized that I should move her outside so I could do more kino on her and get her comfortable with my touch - sitting across from each other was not exactly conducive for this.

Glad my FR's were useful! Just keep in mind that I'm still learning, so you'll probably get more by thinking on what I should have done differently than what I did right.

Regarding the sitting across from each other-yeah try not to do that. Try getting her to sit next to you in a booth, if there isn't a booth, maybe suggest drinking it outside and find a bench?

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Date with Glue

Yesterday after my date with Talia, I hung out with Glue.

Glue is a girl I met at the festival I was gaming at this past weekend. She was handing out food samples. In our first chat, it was fairly platonic but she seemed really engaged with me. Later I approached her again, asked if she was single, deep dived her, did some kino and got her number.

Yesterday we met at a coffee shop close to my house. Initially, when I was texting her, she agreed to come straight to my house, but then she changed her mind and said she would prefer to meet at a coffee shop. I didn't mind...the coffee shop we agreed to meet at was a 10 minute walk from my house, so logistics were good.

As soon as she got there, she complained that she knew nothing about me and started asking me a bunch of questions. It was a tad uncalibrated and awkward and felt like I was being interviewed. Anyways I just flirted a bunch and threw out some chase frames and otherwise was verbally direct. After 15-20 minutes I told her to come back to my place. Initially she was a little bit apprehensive about it, thinking I was a serial killer and stuff. But I knew she really wanted to. After a bit more conversation, I suggested we move outside. We do and we talk outside for roughly ten minutes. Then she says:

Glue: you are very interesting

I took this as sort of an escalation window so I said "let's go to my house!" and she readily agreed. We start walking, but on the way there she is still worried that something bad is going to happen to her. I realized that emotionally she liked me, but logically it didn't make sense to her that she was going to this stranger's house who she doesn't even really know.

So we get back to my place and she seems to be quite on guard. We sit down on the couch, I put on some cartoons and give her an interesting book to look at. I'm acting aloof and sort of ignoring her. - I know she needs some time to get settled in and I don't wanna be too intense right off the bat.

We talk for a bit, then I kiss her neck. She doesn't say anything, but I could tell she didn't really like it. I start slowing things down. Blinking slower, talking in a deeper voice, talking slower...etc. Next thing you know, she's got more of a relaxed look on her face and she's giving me bedroom eyes. Gee, what a perfect time to make a move right? Well I don't make a move then and wait a little while longer. Derp. Need to work on this. Eventually I kiss her and we make out a little bit at first, then talk some more. It's a pretty serious conversation, and I realize that if I wanna make another move it would be best to get her back into a fun state of mind - especially if I want it to feel right. So I start telling her some silly stories then we start making out again. she is a ridiculously enthusiastic kisser and gets super into it. She's moaning like mad and looks DRUNK AS FUCK every time I stop kissing at her and gaze into her eyes. It was weird - it reminded me of what Hector was saying about “Cock Drunk” in another thread. Anyways I got her rubbing my dick over my pants but she wouldn’t let me take off her shirt, even after persisting multiple times.

After a bit she looks at her phone and gets startled because she's stayed way longer than she's supposed to - its almost midnight and she's gotta be up early for work. She stands up. Then, I stand up. She grabs my shirt and pulls me into her. She kisses me briefly, then shoves me away. When we got to the door, she did the same thing. It was almost like she really wanted me but knew it was bad for her.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

After my Montreal trip 1.5 months ago, I took a break from day game for two weeks (I was doing mostly night game). And after that, it was still a few weeks more before I got back into consistent daily daytime approaches. This had a highly negative effect on my game. I lost progress and I've had to regain some skills that weren't fully internalized yet...like active listening. The good news is that I am nearly back at the level I was at when I was in Montreal. It's a really good feeling. I feel calm and in control of my conversations. I believe I'm going to have a breakthrough sometime really soon.

Some interesting women behaviour over the past few days:

She Broke Up With Him

I was at a party last night and saw a girl I've known for a while. One of the first things she says to me (we were standing around in a group):

Farah: backstory, ****** and I broke up.
backstory: *sexy voice* farah why are you telling me that youre single?

Usually when I talk to this girl she is very engaged with me and gives me her full attention. However, later in the night whenever I would talk to her after chase framing her, she would be engaged in the first few seconds then would start acting aloof and looking around, almost disinterested. I observed her talking to other guys - she was very engaged in those conversations. My guess is that whenever we talked, she kept forgetting that I chase framed her, then when she remembered, she acted aloof on purpose to not seem too interested in me.

I think maybe an issue here was that I chase framed in front of the group. I have to be careful about this. Chase frames, asking girls home, stuff like that...should be avoided in groups.

Evelyn

I met Evelyn a few days ago. She hooked immediately, did a body scan, and had some eye twinkles. She would not stop laughing at everything I said. Honestly, what I was saying was not even funny and even kinda dumb. The only reason she was laughing was because she was attracted to me. We clicked so I got her number and she replied initially, but didn't reply after that...ugh. I feel like there was some incongruence on my part in our talk...this might be why.

A Few Leagues Up

I went up to a very unattractive girl and opened her direct just for shits and giggles - i told her she was attractive. The look on her face as I was talking to her was a facial expression I have never seen before. I would describe it as being interested in me, but confused and not really sure what to do - possibly intimidated. I think I will frequently hit on unattractive girls from now on, just to see what they do and how they react. I know this is quite incongruent however I think the reference points will be interesting.

She Gives Up On backstory

I got a girl's number at the festival I was gaming at last weekend. She was working. I wasn't really trying so I was pretty clumsy, but whatever...we started texting. Normally I try to only use texting for logistics but I've actually gotten into a conversation through text with her. To me she's clearly inexperienced and has probably already put me in the boyfriend zone. I would have NEXTed her ages ago but I stuck with it just because of the interesting challenge she's provided me with maintaining my attainability. Here's our text conversation:

yawn: hey
backstory: hellooo darling
yawn: hello
yawn: I'm at work
backstory: seriously? I'm sorry to hear that. i recommend you quit your job.
yawn: why?
yawn: i just got this job and its with what i want to do
backstory: quit it and lets hang out
yawn: nope. not happening. I'm guessing you are the person i met at (festival name).
backstory: yeah you were flirting with me when your boss wasn't looking
backstory: are you having a good time at work so far?
yawn: eh oh well. we all had a good laugh. he told my mom because he knew what i was doing
yawn: yes
backstory: wow :O
backstory: its top secret and confidential information that he revealed. maybe we should consider firing him
yawn: whats wow?
backstory: wow is a word people use when they are surprised

Later, when we are trying to make plans:

yawn: meeting went an hour long then expected
backstory: lame
yawn: its life. so please stop with the negativity
backstory: shhh ill spank you *eye roll emoticon*
yawn: ya. try it i dare you
backstory: you'd probably like it
yawn: idk maybe
backstory: k so we are gonna meet at 6:10PM
yawn: ya as long as nothing else comes up
backstory: alright
yawn: ya
***few hours later***
yawn: have to stay at work late since I'm busy with appointments tomorrow. so can't hang. won't be done till like 9pm

The next day...

backstory: okay that's fine
yawn: that was yesterdays text
backstory: im a time traveler so
yawn: ya OK...

At this point I could sense she was starting to go into auto rejection...I was teasing her way too much and being way too banter-y and as a result I was becoming unattainable. So what I did was apologize to her about how I was talking about how she should quit her job. She accepted it. Right after this, she starts trying to get to know me but I'm responding really slow:

yawn: what do you do for work
backstory: nothing too interesting. i do **********
yawn: for who?
backstory: a few different places honestly
backstory: what are you up to today?
yawn: relaxing, doing laundry, and then working tonight

I don't reply for 20 minutes. Then:

yawn: omg i give up with guys
backstory: don't give up on me darling I'm just busy right now
yawn: ok well
yawn: thought i sent that earlier apparently not...fuck i hate my cell
backstory: omg i hate when that happens
yawn: yeah. were you working for the last 12 hours
backstory: i dont think i was
yawn: ah because i sent you that message 12 hours ago
backstory: thanks for letting me know
yawn: mhm :/
backstory: tell me your feelings
yawn: nothing just frustrated
backstory: about what?
yawn: i just had enough of people saying they like me then not talking for long periods of time because it makes us girls think different.

Sigh...I'm trying to get her on a date with me but its more work than expected. I'm not expecting to bang her, I'm just using her for the experience.

Social Circle Girl

I was talking to a girl I know a few nights ago at the bar. I used to view her as unattainable. Not anymore. Our conversation went really well, and i know i could have brought her home but I had to leave really early to catch the bus.

Today I saw her when she was with a guy (they're just friends) and briefly chatted with them. Here's a part where I put out a chase frame:

Social Circle Girl: wowwww your boots are so cool! nice shirt too. You're always styling!
backstory: *To guy friend* Social Circle Girl is hitting on me.

I can tell she's attracted to me by her facial expressions. Later I got on the bus and she was on the bus, sitting alone. She was busy with her cell phone and didn't notice me. At that point I had a split second decision to make. Should I sit with her and get her number? Hmmm..I decided not to sit with her. I think maybe it would be better to preserve her attraction towards me. The next time I talk with her should be when I am in a good position to pull her. I have her on Facebook but I feel it would be socially uncalibrated to message her to ask her to hang out. But you know what, maybe I'm not being aggressive enough...

Excited Interview Mode

Recently there's been a few girls who just all of a sudden started pummelling me with questions (LIKE ITS 20 QUESTIONS). This was after I expressed my interest in them. The reason they might be doing this is because they are excited and attracted to me, but they don’t really know me. They are trying to get to know me very quickly so that it will make sense to them logically that they are attracted to me.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Ouch

I am feeling a lot of emotional pain and I'm not sure why. I don't think it's the rejections that hurt. I think it's more the awkwardness after I talk to a girl and I do/say something stupid or make a mistake during our conversation...which happens quite a lot.

I'm Seeing Someone

Sometimes, lately, a girl will tell me she's seeing someone when I ask if she's single/ask if she wants to hang out. My usual response is to ask if it's serious and compare it to marriage. This works, but I know I can do better....I'm not quite sure about the absolute best way to respond to this objection. I know for a fact that the best way to handle it will involve addressing the underlying emotions. I know that this is a silly objection that is easy to overcome and if I do it in the proper way then maybe I can increase my attraction in the eyes of the girl.

Asking For A Name - Law of Least Effort

Why would I even bother asking for a girl's name when I can get it without asking? All I have to do is introduce myself to her first and then she will say her name back. It just seems more natural and smooth instead of asking, "what's your name?"

Some girls refuse to tell me their name when I ask what their name is. The fact that they are refusing to comply creates a huge rift in the conversation. Oftentimes I'll try asking again later but they still refuse to tell me. Bad bad bad. By just introducing myself to a girl, I avoid this riff in the conversation. If I introduce myself and they don't tell me their name, then I know they don't want to share it. I will not call attention to their reluctance to share their name by asking for their name.

More Balls

- I'm tired of opening indirect. I made a commitment today to open direct WAY more often. I think this will be good for my sexual vibe. Today after doing a few direct approaches, I realized I portrayed myself as a not-so-sexy guy during the interaction, both non-verbally and verbally. It felt incongruent for some reason.

- My usual strategy if I opened indirect is to ask if a girl is single then go straight back to the conversation we were having before. I'm gonna try something different...maybe asking her if she's single, then telling her that I'm attracted to her...something like that, or just casually talking about the fact she's single. Or maybe I will challenge myself to never use the "you're single right?" line ever again. Lots of thinking to do.

- I'm working on a strategy for when I'm on buses: When girls are walking onto the bus, I'll ask them to sit with me. If I see a girl on the bus that I'm attracted to, I'll go sit with her.

Freckle Face

Opened her direct at the bus stop. Later when I asked her to hang out, she said she was seeing someone. I handled her objection and then asked again. She said yes. I told her I would take down her number. Unfortunately my phone was off and her bus was rolling up...so I told her I would have to pass. Her phone appeared in her hand when I told her my phone was off. I didn't realize it till after but she probably would have put my number in her phone. It was an interesting situation.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

My vibe was killer today. Btw - I've made over 500 approaches this summer.

Things I Need to Figure Out

What kind of body language should I use when I'm in conversation with a girl and there's no way to lock in? Specifically, what should I do with my arms and hands?
What facial expression should I use when I open a girl?
How can I turn a conversation sexual in a smooth way when I've opened indirect?
What sorts of topics should I talk about with a girl in general?

Basically, today I realized how much I suck. lol...

Aloof and Rude

I was talking with a girl and she was being aloof and rude. For example:

backstory: my name is backstory
girl: uhhh i didn't ask for your name
backstory: *bored look*

I didn't realize till after that I had low attainability with her. I'm just so sick and tired of messing things up with girls because I didn't handle attainability right. I messed it up with 90% of the girls I've had a chance with this summer. I'm going to put a ton of effort into handling attainability in the next few weeks. I actually won't be doing half bad if I can get past this obstacle.

I Don't Want It Bad Enough

I'm not pushing myself. For example, I'm not opening girls who are giving me approach invitations when they are with another guy. When I'm walking on the street and see a girl in a store I want to talk to, I don't go in to do it. I have to do these things if I wanna succeed.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Quick Random Thoughts

- My hair was getting a little long, so I went and got a haircut today...then afterwards when I went out to game, it was ridiculously easy to get into conversations. Coincidence? I think not.

- I'm feeling mentally exhausted lately with pickup. I'm putting a lot of effort into trying to understand why girls are acting the way they're acting towards me. I feel like I'm burning out and need a break. At the same time I just wanna keep pushing myself.

- Lately I've found myself acting impatient with girls. This is bad. I need to learn to practice patience. My impatience has negatively influenced my interactions with two specific girls who I've been talking to lately: Purple and Rachel. I'll talk more about them below.

- If a girl is afraid to reject me then I should call her out on it.

Purple: A Bad Kisser In Public

I met Purple at a bus stop two months ago. She was sitting on the ground. When I was walking by her, I caught her looking at me but did not say hello to her - I kept walking. After walking further down the street I decided to turn around, walk back and open her. She was quite nervous at first. But then I got her to stand up and our conversation was very flirty. She was flipping her hair like mad! I got her number and it was just more flirting. The subtext was that she wanted me to fuck her. But by the time we made plans to hang out, I was in Montreal. And by the time I got back, she had left town to go on vacation for 6 weeks.

We kept in touch and we made plans to hang out today. Then at the last minute she flaked, saying she was busy. I was very annoyed by this and I don't think I handled it that well.

Then, later when I was day gaming, I saw her at a bus stop. She started explaining why she couldn't hang out today, saying something about getting called into work. I wasn't really listening. I was thinking about making out with her. I weighed the risks in my head: I could kiss her now, break a lot of the tension, and maybe never see her again....OR, i could wait and fuck her at a later time.

I made out with her, and it wasn't even worth it. We clunked teeth lol. I should have been more patient and just maintained the tension till we actually hung out. Won't be surprised if I never hear from her ever again. I don't even know why I had such a strong desire to kiss her right then and there.

Rachel: A Great Texter

I met Rachel at a bus stop a few days ago. She was staring at me so I went up and talked to her. However she was acting aloof. About 45 seconds into our conversation, her bus came and we said goodbye to each other. I didn't expect to see her again.

But then yesterday I was sitting on the bus, and Rachel walked on. She was on the phone. We made eye contact and I patted the seat beside me in an attempt to get her to sit with me. However she planted herself in the seat behind me. Eventually she got off the phone and said hello to me. She seemed mildly excited. I found out what she was up to and did a little bit of small talk and teasing. Then I asked her to come and sit with me in my seat. She refused and asked me to come and sit with her. I became a little aloof after this, and she came and sat with me.

We were talking more and she was throwing out screens quickly - what are your hobbies, what do you take in school, etc etc. It was like she was playing 20 questions with me. However when I tried to find out more about her, she became slightly aloof. Despite this, at times she was getting close to my face, looking at my lips, making flirty facial expressions, holding strong eye contact etc.

I got her number, then later the very first thing she texted me was:

Rachel: By the way you look like my ex
Rachel: but he was different

Anyways... she wouldn't stop texting me and eventually called me a bad texter because I was taking forever to respond. I'm trying to make plans with her to hang out and I'm really impatient about the whole thing because she doesn't seem eager to hang out ASAP. How I'm texting her is not how I would handle things usually. I just need to chill for a bit. If she's attracted to me she's not going anywhere.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Daytime Cockblocks are the WORST

I have a very nice failure to talk about. Well, maybe it wasn't a complete failure.

Yesterday I was at a park and approached 2 girls sitting on a bench. It was a pretty long conversation - much longer than I'd normally stay in set. Most of it was banter, and a little bit was getting to know both of the girls too. Girl 1 was from out of town and was only staying for a few days. They weren't curious about me in any way, however they were laughing a ridiculous amount at the things I was saying. I wasn't even saying things that were really funny. I had a feeling girl 1 was attracted to me, but I wasn't sure. Looking back, she did have a facial expression of attraction on her face, but it was extremely subtle. My initial mistakes were that I didn't focus on one girl, and also, I wasn't direct at all. Pretty soon my strategy for 2 girls will be solid, but let's not talk about that now. The girls weren't being fun so I ejected - didn't even bother to get girl 1's number.... it didn't really feel right. When I was walking away, I looked back and Girl 1 was staring at me.

Well what do you know...today I'm walking through the park again and see Girl 1 + 2. They have another girl with them, Girl 3. I start bantering with them. I notice that Girl 1 is DEFINITELY attracted to me. She's ridiculously engaged by me, she's got the eye sparkle, and she's preening herself! Nice. I start being direct with her, asking if she's single, telling her she's cute, etc etc. I made these comments in front of her friends (I shouldn't have done that) and they were all giggling feverishly.

I start getting logistics. I'm asking when she's leaving town. Apparently she's leaving IN AN HOUR. I try convincing her to stay another day...lol, what a dumb thing to do. Girl 2 is helping me out and suggests Girl 1 stay another night. Then I start talking about how I would like to hang out with Girl 1 right now. Well Girl 3 comes in and starts cockblocking - she says that Girl 1 would much rather prefer their company over mine. She continues to do more cockblocking, and after she is done I give her a "excuse me! that was uncalled for" face. But right bout then, there is this awkward vibe in the air...and I'm feeling quite frazzled after what happened, and I'm not sure what to do. So I just said goodbye and left. No number, nothing.

UGHHHHHHHHH. A better thing to do would have been to isolate girl 1. I should have said to her friends that I was gonna steal her for 5 minutes. Then I woulda walked around the park with her, and escalated. Would have been easy to get at least a make out. I could have handled the cockblock better too. Cockblocks during the daytime really throw me off. Just got to keep isolation in mind for next time.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

I Kiss a Granny

After a few unusually cold reactions from women today in a row, something clicked for me..if the vibe is good with a woman i've just met during the day, WHY NOT KISS HER? I am now confident enough to start doing this.

I was just walking down a busy street downtown and made eye contact with this woman who seemed to be in her 40s. Usually I wouldn't open a girl like this but I did anyways because it was starting to get dark and I had only talked to like 6 girls so far (I always try to do 10 a day). She was wearing a strapless sundress. I open her and she gets real close and stands centimetres away from my face. It was cool.

backstory: are you spontaneous?
granny: yeah lets go

So we start walking together and she's holding one of her tits. I dare her to flash me and she does. Then I lean in to kiss her. She gives me a boring granny kiss on the lips. She's talking about how she needs to find a cigarette, then asks me for a sip of my water. I tell her if she gives me a really good kiss then I'll give her a sip of my water. She gives me another boring granny kiss, although it was better and longer than the first granny kiss. She keeps asking me for my water and is complaining that she has to kiss me for it. I ejected because I had enough fun and wanted to talk to more girls.

 

[Sandman]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Dude 40 year old isn't a granny

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Dude 40 year old isn't a granny

40 year olds are grannies in my world, mrre.

Big Sadness

Today I realized that there's A LOT of patterns I've discovered recently in the way that girls are behaving towards me. And it's stressing me out that I don't know the answers quite yet as to why they behave in these ways with me. It's going to take a lot of effort to test out all of my suspicions.

But here's the problem. Lately I am dreading going out to talk to women. It's not fun for me...I'm tired of it. What happens is that I end up not putting in the effort that I need to put in, which leads to me not experiencing any growth.

I think it's not fun for me lately because I'm going through a rough patch. This August there's been plenty of opportunities to get laid but I messed up EACH AND EVERY opportunity....I messed up because I found myself in novel situations where I wasn't sure what to do. Even though it sucks, I know what I did wrong and how I will succeed next time. More recently, I've done like 50 approaches and only got 1 flakey-ass number. I'm approaching girls who are not giving me AIs, so that could account for it. There have been a few situations at bus stops where the girl and I had a lot of potential to click but she ended up having to leave really quickly. So that's frustrating.

I'm thinking I'm going to take a break from day game for a little bit. I have a lot of thinking and writing to do on my experiences in the past month and a half, and I want to recharge my social battery (lol lame). I'm worried that I'll lose some momentum, but I can probably maintain my skill level by doing some night game.

Other News

- I figured out a facial expression that shows sympathy/empathy/compassion. I'm really happy about this discovery
- There are a lot of girls out there who are socially awkward

 

[kristian]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Lately I am dreading going out to talk to women. It's not fun for me...I'm tired of it. What happens is that I end up not putting in the effort that I need to put in, which leads to me not experiencing any growth.

I had exactly the same issue a month ago until I started working out.

Do you lift heavy, doing basic exercises (like squats, deadlift and bench-press)? If not, get your ass to the gym, start eating fats and sleep better, it will have a dramatic impact on your testosterone, making it easier to talk to women again.

If you already do, try out visualizations: The brain doesn't know the difference between real life and imagination. There are tons of ways to do this, Bob Proctors guided ones are very good. You can find them on youtube. If you combined both, well then you're almost unstoppable and will find new ways of making it exciting to talk to women again.

The thing is, backstory, is that you have all the mechanics down I believe reaching the next stage has to do with the mental aspects of game. Unless you are working on that already.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Lately I am dreading going out to talk to women. It's not fun for me...I'm tired of it. What happens is that I end up not putting in the effort that I need to put in, which leads to me not experiencing any growth.

I had exactly the same issue a month ago until I started working out.

Do you lift heavy, doing basic exercises (like squats, deadlift and bench-press)? If not, get your ass to the gym, start eating fats and sleep better, it will have a dramatic impact on your testosterone, making it easier to talk to women again.

If you already do, try out visualizations: The brain doesn't know the difference between real life and imagination. There are tons of ways to do this, Bob Proctors guided ones are very good. You can find them on youtube. If you combined both, well then you're almost unstoppable and will find new ways of making it exciting to talk to women again.

The thing is, backstory, is that you have all the mechanics down I believe reaching the next stage has to do with the mental aspects of game. Unless you are working on that already.

kristian - thanks for your advice. I will start lifting and trying out visualizations and observe the differences.

I'm curious to hear you talk more about the mental aspects. Could you please expand?

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

My First (Semi-Successful) Bathroom Pull

i met Trinity on tinder. We clicked so we made plans to hang out. I’m in my home town right now staying at my parents house so we couldn’t hang out here. She’s living with her parents right now too. I asked if they let her have guys over. She said yes but it would just be too much of a headache for her to have to deal with her parent’s questions. So our places were out of the question.

We decided to meet at the mall. I didn’t mind the shitty logistics because I really wanted to try to do a bathroom pull.

I’m standing around waiting for her. As she walks up to me, I slap on my sexual vibe. She looks at me and bows her head in submission. We sit on a bench and the things are great already. Our legs are touching and stuff. I’m deep diving her a little bit. She starts talking about how it makes her uncomfortable that I’m “psychoanalyzing" her. She says that most people don’t usually get her, but it seems that I get her really well.

We get off the bench and walk around the mall for a bit. She tells me she has ADHD and I don’t doubt it. She's jumping topics really quickly and getting distracted quite often. This threw me off guard! How am I supposed to build any decent rapport or even build a vibe!?

Well, at least she was touching me a decent amount. And I was creating a lot of tension. For example:

trinity: i like your socks.
backstory: thanks
trinity: i like your shoes too. and your shirt. i like your whole outfit
backstory: i hope you’re not just saying that to get in my pants.
trinity: *says nothing*

Shortly after I throw out this chase frame, I kiss her neck. She has no reaction to it. We continue walking and she’s pretty quiet. We are having trouble finding topics to chat about. Instead of worrying about this I bring her to the bathrooms. I walk up to the bathroom:

backstory: I’m going to the bathroom.
trinity: ok ill wait out here.
backstory: no. come with me.

We walk into an empty family washroom. I start kissing her, then pull away. She doesn’t want to continue because she’s scared of getting caught. I show her how we can go into the diaper changing room and lock the door. She still doesn’t wanna do it. I don’t push it.

We leave the bathroom and walk around the mall some more. During this period we make out a few more times. We end up sitting on a bench. I put my arm around her and we cuddle a little bit. She seems to be quite nervous. However at this point our conversations getting a lot better and we are really starting to build a bubble. Before we parted ways, her face changed and she had the look of attraction on her face.

I get home and she texts me shortly after:

trinity: i normally don’t text this quick to someone after seeing them but i genuinely really enjoyed tonight ahh
backstory: im glad you had a good time trinity i did too
trinity: do you think we’ll hang out again?

 

[kristian]

Re: backstory's frontstory

I'm curious to hear you talk more about the mental aspects. Could you please expand?

Backstory, we both know about moving forward, creating connection, intrigue, and teasing. We've also worked a lot on our fundamentals, so much that we get girls interested at any event, party, out on the streets and so on.

For me the main thing so far has been working on vibe, and that has everything to do with what we believe about ourselves, the inner chatter, all that jazz. I believe it's our inner vibe - predicated by our hormones - that makes us feel a certain way and take more action because we believe in our abilities in getting women.

We all know that vibe is created by past successes like Chase has mentioned in the winner effect https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-be-dominant-man-what-you-didnt-know-about-winner-effect, but he also mentions that we can "fake" that success simply by visualizing.

The more you do it the, more will your subconscious start to believe it and sooner or later you will be acting like a guy with actual success. Girls catch that and get even more interested once they feel your "aura". This has proven to make a great impact on my interactions and success so far - and I've been only practicing for six weeks.

Testosterone make you more assertive, visualization makes your vibe better. I believe it a killer combination if you do it every day for a month or two. You will see improvements in all aspects.

Ps. Thank you for the "having fun"-advice before going for the kiss. It works and I'll keep it on my arsenal.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Thanks kristian. I have been thinking a lot about your advice and started implementing it.
______________________

A lot has happened the past few weeks but I'm just going to say two things: 1) im getting AIs and eye sparkles from girls who I view as out of my league and 2) i'm experiencing a lot more polarizing behaviour from girls than ever before.

Qualifying and Screening

I've used qualifying and screening in the past but not recently. On top of that I never had a solid strategy for using it and wasn't using it effectively. When I get into conversations with women and don't qualify/screen them and then ask them to hang out, it feels really weird. However now I'm working on making women feel like there's a reason i'm interested in seeing them again, besides their looks.

My journal's been pretty quiet, I've been struggling with some mindset issues but I'm overcoming them.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Girls at Night

Girls at the bar + parties are touching me/initiating touch a lot more than they used to. Definitely a good sign, but I'm wondering when this will happen in day game?

Enthusiasm from Girls

I noticed how enthusiastic girls are while talking to guys sometimes. Up until now I haven't really been paying attention to enthusiasm levels from girls in my conversations. I realized that some girls are enthusiastic to be talking to me, but not every girl is. How can I make girls MORE enthusiastic to be talking to me? I'm thinking proper teasing/ball busting + strong rapport building + amazing fundamentals, but I will need to experiment.

Aloofness

I'm incorporating a lot of aloofness into my game. I think I'm actually overeager in a lot of situations.

Fundamentals

I've got a tiny bit more work to do on my voice, fashion sense, and facial expressions before they're REALLY good. I'm already getting complimented pretty consistently on my voice and fashion sense...however in the long run, the absolute next biggest steps are to build an amazing body and be consistent with my sexual vibe. I'm always getting beat out by guys who are jacked and have a sexy vibe. If I can accomplish these two things then I'm gonna be in amazing shape with my fundamentals. The thing is though, having a consistent sexual vibe will require me to completely overhaul my personality. It'd be a lot of work...

Goal for Next Week

My goal is to approach 100 girls next week.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Today I will talk about some interesting situations from the past few weeks that occurred at night.

Before I get started I want to mention that there seems to be one last piece of the puzzle to solve before I start bringing home girls consistently from the bars/parties. I have opportunities every single night I go out lately but my problem is that I don’t know when it’s time to just pick a girl and settle down with her. Often times I’ll hit it off with a girl but then I tell her I’ll come find her later because I wanna go meet more girls. Then when its later I’ll go and find the girl but she’ll be with another guy, or she's left already... its annoying. So once I start committing myself to girls and being more aggressive, I'm confident I'll see some great results.

Plausible Deniability Gives Her Permission To Touch Me?

I brought an origami fortune teller to a party last night. Except instead of fortunes, there were dares in it. Here in Canada we call this a cootie catcher. I thought it'd really add value to the party. So I was bantering with these two girls but there was no touching going on at all. Then I brought out the cootie catcher. Girl 1 was eager to play. Her dare is to kiss someone on the cheek. She ends up kissing my cheek. Almost immediately afterwards she starts touching me a lot as we continue our conversation. Kinda weird - how come she started getting really touchy after the kiss? Anyways, I started touching her a little bit too. A guy walked up shortly after. Him and Girl 1 got into conversation...they knew each other and they hadn't seen each other in a while. I started chatting with Girl 2 while I was waiting for their conversation to finish... but we weren't really clicking....so I just left. Later I saw Girl 1 leaving. I pulled her in and we made out before she left.

Playing Some Games

Same party, different girl (who I had flirted with earlier in the night), mid conversation in a group of people:

Girl: your cootie catcher is looking pretty destroyed
backstory: yeah, i know. we can make another one later when we get home *looks away*
Girl: *'can't believe he just said that' face*
backstory: *starts talking to someone else in the group*

Worst Missed Opportunity

Once again...same party and different girl (Kathy). She agreed to get a dare from my cootie catcher. The dare was "be blindfolded and lick a random object." Haha. Kathy was surprised I had brought a blindfold, but complied nonetheless and put it on. I got her to lick a condom wrapper, it was amusing. Afterwards we exchanged some small talk, and said goodbye on warm terms - there was definitely some attraction between us. Later on I see her sitting on a chair. I go up to her and sit on her lap without saying anything - I don't even look at her. Then I get off of her, walk away and start chatting with a different girl. As I'm chatting with this girl, I see Kathy looking in my general direction. I swear she was giving me sparkly eyes, but I'm not entirely sure since I was observing this out of the corner of my eye. I really should have went over to her and invited her home right at this very point, but I didn't. Cuz I'm lame.

Later I go looking for her and find her outside with two guys. As I'm walking over, she says, "there's the guy who made me lick a condom!" I say to her, "hey lets get out of here and go somewhere more quiet" but she doesn't hear it - she's talking to one of the guys about how she's getting home. A cab shows up. Kathy walks over to the cab alone. A group of two guys tries to get into the cab before she can get in. They have a little bit of an argument over it but they end up giving the cab to her. She gets in the cab alone and leaves.

Looking back, I probably could have tried to at least hop in the cab with her. If those two guys had taken the cab instead I would definitely have seized the chance to ask her home again. Overall this is an inexcusable missed opportunity though - i'm really kicking myself over it.

Help From Friends

One good thing I'm noticing lately is that girls are HELPING ME/rooting for me to hook up with their friends.

For example, at the bar two weeks ago, I was talking to this short girl. Her tall friend was repeatedly saying that me and the short girl would be cute together. Lol, it was like she was the mom of the group or something. Anyways, the short girl and I started making out. After a little bit of kissing I tell her I'll come find her later. Then later it's 2AM and she's dancing and making out with some guy. I go up to her and say, "YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME." She and the guy give me a bitchy look. I left and went to find a different girl to flirt with.

Introducing Tension

backstory: you know what i heard about curly haired girls?
curly haired girls: what!?
backstory: i heard they’re down for anything
curly haired girl 1: i dont think so….
backstory: you’re not truly a curled haired girl then.

Why Are You So Aggressive?

I met a girl at the bar, who was friends with some other girls I knew there. I talked to her throughout the night intermittedly. I was laying down a lot of sexual innuendos and trying to make out with her. She wouldn't let me though. At the end of the night she said goodbye to me and tried to shake my hand. Instead of letting her shake my hand I tried making out with her. She wouldn't let me again. She starts complaining:

Girl: why are you so aggressive?!

I Got Interviewed

Approaching a mixed group of girls and guys:

backstory: hey guys
Group: hey
Girl 1: where are you from!??? *in a demanding, very overeager sort of tone. little bit uncalibrated...*
backstory: what is this, a job interview?
Guy 1: nice one bro. *fist bumps me*

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

I Go To Madison's House

Last night I went over to a girl's house. Her name is Madison. I met her through facebook 3 years ago. We rarely talked, but we started talking pretty consistently in the past month. Even after we agreed to hang out it took weeks before she was free enough to hang out. She’s a workaholic, so it was a nice challenge to maintain her interest for me.

We had some great conversations - she would always express how intrigued she was by me. I started doing a slight push by having a few alright conversations with her. Then I made sure to have another great conversation with her. After that she was hooked. She messaged me the next day wanting to continue it. I reiterated that we should continue it in person. She said she would let me know when she was free. After that I started ignoring her whenever she messaged me on facebook…i didn’t want to put any more effort in until she put effort into hanging out. Well what do you know...all of a sudden, shes sending me suggestive pictures on snapchat. I ignore one of them, then the next night she sends me another. I reply to that one. She asks me what I'm up to. I push for her to come over to my place but she keeps giving excuses. However she suggests we hang out the next night. I think it was interesting how she started sending me these pictures when I started ignoring her. Also, I had a strong feeling I'm in the boyfriend zone so I was expecting there to be a lot of resistance when we hang out.

The next night her and I are sitting outside on her porch. She chooses to sit on the opposite end of the porch. I’m not worried about it - I know we're gonna end up sitting beside each other eventually. I deep dive her.

Later I tell her I'm gonna read her palm and use this as an excuse to break the touch barrier between us. After the palm read she starts touching me and giving me "almost touches" as well. Funny how girls just need the touch barrier to be broken in some way by me before they start touching me lately.

Eventually she’s starting to get a little distant and aloof, totally avoiding eye contact and not contributing as much to the conversation…I know my attainability is becoming low and she’s going into auto rejection so I kiss her neck. However after this the mood is still a little bit too serious for my liking...i start telling her a story that i always tell before i start kissing a girl. It always lightens things up. We end up sitting directly beside each other, legs touching, and the vibe is really good. We're really clicking. After making out a few times she’s become very enthusiastic. It's a total 180 from how she was behaving before.

I tell her we should go inside because i’m cold from sitting outside. We go inside and sit on her bed. Except she’s being all shy - she’s laying on her belly, not looking at me, and paying attention to her phone. I think she’s nervous…or just not mentally ready yet...or playing hard to get, I'm not sure. I didn’t want to rush things, usually in this case I would give her some space for a bit. However I had to leave to catch my bus soon and wanted to at least see her tits, which were really turning me on.

I start kissing her all over her neck. We make out a few times again but she always stops short. She’s giving me a ton of resistance - she actually gets off the bed, moves far away from me and sits on the floor. However she does have a look of attraction on her face. She's constantly asking me what I'm thinking..she says she can usually read people and figure them out, but she can't read me…I was cycling between acting really aloof and acting interested, I think this is why she couldn’t read me.

She eventually got back on the bed and was acting submissive and enthusiastic at the same time. I start being more passionate when kissing her and she starts getting really into it. She’s practically attacking at me at points. But then she stops and is just sitting there breathing like she just had a really intense adrenaline rush. I’ve feel like I’ve built some momentum so I start sucking on her tits. She loves it. We start getting more into things but its time for me to leave.

Throughout the whole time she was projecting into the future, talking about how we're going to be hanging out. She's texting me today as well. I'm curious to see how this will turn out.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

A Breakthrough?

Something strange is going on...

Overnight, approach invitations have become quite pronounced. The amount of women who are giving me them, and frequency and amount of time women spend looking at me are practically exploding. I noticed that the more attractive women are giving me the approach invitations that the less attractive women used to give me. And now the less attractive women are ridiculously blatant with their AIs. It's insane. The other day I had a girl practically stalking me. It was sooo creepy...

The way women react when I open them is different than usual too.

Normally in my dreams at night when I try to hook up with women, I always fail. However things have changed recently...in my dreams I am now succeeding with women. I believe that my confidence when it comes to women has been fully internalized - it's reached a subconscious level.

This could be one of the reasons why this is happening. I believe it's a mixture of a lot of other things though, too. Slight tweaks in my fundamentals and game, and improved mindsets...

I feel like I've broken through but don't have the results to show for it yet. So to prove it to myself I'm going to focus on achieving my goal: go from hooking up sometimes to hooking up consistently. I'm pretty sure I can make this happen in the next few weeks.