Passion Lab

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

A Second Chance

Just over a year ago now I was at a party and met this girl who was incredibly straightforward in her interest for me. However at the time I was a complete wimp and didn't go home with her. I can remember how much I was kicking myself after this one.

Today I was at a bus stop and see two girls I know. I'm bantering with them and they are laughing ridiculously hard. Then they gotta leave to get on their bus. I look around briefly to see who else i can talk to - there's two girls in a group to my right. Girl 1 has a pretty cool fashion sense, and Girl 2 looks pretty regular. I'm trying to come up with something witty to say to Girl 1 while also trying to figure out my strategy - should I open just the well dressed girl, or open the both of them...and which angle should I approach at anyways? Girl 2 was in the way so I'd have to go around to get to Girl 1.

While I'm thinking about this, Girl 2 turns around and opens me:

Girl 2: hey you look really familiar, I think we've met before...
backstory: do you say this to every guy you wanna talk to?
Girl 2: no haha i don't
Girl 1: it's a really good line to use though (the "familiar" line is actually the worst line to use)
Girl 2: I think we met at _________
backstory: no i've never heard of that place...

A little bit more conversation goes on and I realize that this is the girl I fucked up with a year ago at that party... I'm about to tell her and start qualifying her a bit but their bus shows up...

Girl 1: this is our bus *starts getting on the bus*
backstory: bummer, we gotta figure this out
Girl 1: tomorrow we will (???)
backstory: okay add me on facebook. my name is backstory

She climbs on the bus and I'm kicking myself. Why did I tell her to add ME? this leaves me not in control of the situation, and besides...she probably won't remember my name. A few minutes later I go on facebook and I have a friend request from her.

We'll see where it ends up.

New Tactic: Humor + An Unreadable Face

Today when I was bantering or saying funny things, I keep a very straight face on instead of smiling/laughing. Girls ate it up like mad. I'll be testing this out some more...

Getting Better at Talking To Certain Types of People

I used to have a really hard time talking to people who are in finance...however, I did find out that in order to be in finance, you have to have a strong attention to detail. I bring this up every time I get into a talk with a finance girl and it helps us get into conversation. However I had one good talk with a girl in the finance program at my college the other day and she went into detail about what finance is all about and the career opportunities and stuff. I am using a lot of the stuff she was saying to structure my conversations with people when talking about their career interests.

Still having problems with the science chicks though...

An Interesting Number Grab

Met this chick from an African country called Cameron today. I opened her with my favourite line that I use lately on girls who look grumpy/upset/tired: "who died?" The conversation was business as usual and I took down her number. She read her number off to me and I put it in my phone. Usually I get them to put it in themselves but after I told her to give me it she just started telling me it and I felt it was better to go with the flow. I did ask her to type her name into my phone though and she put in her full name which is a great sign. She also insisted that I text her while we were still talking. I dunno why...either A) she wanted to make sure that she gave me the right number (especially cuz she read it off to me) or B) she thought I was high value and felt like I wouldn't text her. Both possible explanations are positive though - she is definitely interested in seeing me again. If she wasn't why would she worry about giving me the right number?

I was wondering about my attainability afterwards because the last chick who engaged in this sort of behaviour with me definitely thought I was a player and stopped talking to me. The funniest part though was when I asked her to hang out:

backstory: lets go for coffee sometime, as long as you're single.
girl: ummmmmmmmmmmm.....sure.

She said this like she was borderline about to reject me for some reason. I bet she's got a boyfriend. Overall this was an interesting, fun situation for me to get into.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Trinity Caught Cooties

Tonight I went over to Trinity's place. We made out a bunch and she blew me. No sex because she was on her period. At one point she says this in a really submissive tone:

Trinity: do you like meeee?
backstory: ...well i like how fun you are....and how open minded you are...

I was caught off guard and had no clue what to say. Heck no I don't like her. Later after she's finished blowing me, she comes clean and admits her feelings towards me:

Trinity: I like you so much. do you feel the same?
backstory: i just wanna keep spending time with you and see where it goes
Trinity: my heart fluttered when you said that

Later:

Trinity: I haven't felt this way since elementary school

I can't understand why she likes me...we don't even click that well in my opinion.

Making Mistakes With Madison

After I hung out with Madison a few days ago she was initiating contact with me through text for a few days straight. But then she didn't initiate contact for 4 days! Upon further reflection I realized that I missed an escalation window. I should have made plans with her again especially considering she was so enthusiastic to be talking to me after we got together the first time. I don’t know what I was thinking.

Today I texted her and told her we should hang out when I’m back in town and our schedules allow for it. She agreed that we should but she didn’t seem enthusiastic about it. The vibe I was getting was that I let the good emotions that she had for me fade too much.

I am planning to get better at handling the period that occurs between the first time I see a girl, and the second time I see her. If a girl is chasing after I see her for the first time I shouldn’t shy away from setting up another date quickly.

You Are Making This Too Easy For Me Chloe

I met Chloe at a bus stop recently. She was wearing sunglasses but my spidey senses suggested she was giving me an AI. My spidey senses never let me down - she was receptive to my approach and seemed quite engaged with me. Her sunglasses were semi-see through so unfortunately I had a hard time figuring out if she was giving me sparkly eyes or not.

Here are some great signs of interest she showed throughout our chat:

- Halfway through the conversation she demanded to know my name
- Setting up a date with her was painless
- When I got her to type her name + number in my phone, she typed in her full name
- Later I saw she added me on snapchat (i did not accept her request).

She's creative and has a cool fashion sense so I'm interested in seeing how things turn out.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

STD Alert

I met a girl named Shayla on Tinder. It was practically 0 effort to end up over at her place.

This chick was insane. She did all the talking, I just sat and listened:

- She repeatedly talks about how she beats everyone up and puts them in comas. I didn't get this. She was practically a twig
- Didn't stop qualifying herself to me and trying to impress me
- Her general demeanour was very bubbly and enthusiastic, and she talked at a very rapid pace and changed topics pretty quickly sometimes
- Would not stop talking about her exes and was telling me her tricks for managing multiple boyfriends at once
- Other outlandish shit

We start hooking up and then in the middle of it she looks like she's going to cry or something!? Like it was just too intense for her... I've never seen anything like it.

Then we go in her bedroom and she's on top of me. She takes off my pants. Admittedly im not hard. Next thing you know she's stuck my soft dick in her pussy WITHOUT A CONDOM and is riding me. How on earth did she do that so quick without me noticing!? She still had her panties on, but I guess she moved them to the side. This really startled me - I start talking about how its too hot and I need water. I get her to get off of me. She gets me water, and has a general look of concern on her face like I hurt her or something. I was probably in her for less than 20 seconds.

I left shortly after. I really hope I don't get an STD. It really startled me how she just stuck it in without even getting me to put on a condom first...i'm still relatively sexually inexperienced so it makes me wonder if this is a normal thing, especially with more sexually experienced chicks.

I probably overreacted...but anyways, I have hickeys on my neck from two separate chicks now. nice.

I'm hanging with trinity tomorrow and I will be writing in my journal soon about the improvements i have been making with my verbal game recently.

 

[Sandman]

Re: backstory's frontstory

haha wow chicks be crazy yo! Such a thirsty girl

Why didn't you fuck her after you put on some condoms tho?

And -more experienced players correct me if I'm wrong but - that shit isn't normal. She starts crying and she starts fucking you raw right away? Nah, she was definetely crazy.

 

[Rain]

Re: backstory's frontstory

STD AlertShe still had her panties on, but I guess she moved them to the side. This really startled me - I start talking about how its too hot and I need water. I get her to get off of me. She gets me water, and has a general look of concern on her face like I hurt her or something. I was probably in her for less than 20 seconds.

I left shortly after. I really hope I don't get an STD. It really startled me how she just stuck it in without even getting me to put on a condom first...i'm still relatively sexually inexperienced so it makes me wonder if this is a normal thing, especially with more sexually experienced chicks.

I probably overreacted...

I have had some not care about condom either. After I mentioned it one said "you obviously care about safe sex", perhaps she didn't. Two other instances where women have lowered themselves on top of me without condom. So yeah they definitely exist. There are instances where I have not ended up using a condom and it has not bothered the woman either. So there are definitely lots women out there who don't always require condom sex. Perhaps that was risky of me in where I did it, and now you have the experience of the first part where they lowered and put it in you can watch out for that in future. Obviously, safest way is always with condom, yes. I have used condoms before as well, I just relaxed a bit on it recently, if they were more attracive or LTR material, perhaps I should not do that as it may create bad habits.

Curious, what things did she say she did to control many boyfriends at once?

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

thanks for the comments and support friends

Why didn't you fuck her after you put on some condoms tho?

dunnno man just wasn't really feeling it anymore

Curious, what things did she say she did to control many boyfriends at once?

she was saying that she gives all her boyfriends the same nickname so that way during sex she doesn't accidentally call them the wrong name

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

The Last 5%

Walking home from the bar, I spot a girl in a dress walking towards me. She stops; a guy is talking to her.

I go in with slightly high energy and start cockblocking. The guy is getting pissed. He's trying to physically get in between me and the girl. When he doesn't succeed, he addresses me directly:

guy: hey man this is MY GIRL I'm trying to talk to
backstory: *blank stare*

The girl and I start walking away. She starts telling me how it was so creepy that he was talking to her. We exchange some small talk. Then:

backstory: hey you wanna chill for a bit?
girl: yeah i guess you can come over

It was about a 10 minute walk to her house. Although we were just small talking at first, eventually she became more enthusiastic and was talking a lot more. She points out my hickeys. I told her a story about a gay guy who was stalking me. She says:

girl: are you gay?
backstory: no, why are you interested?
girl: nono i was just curious cuz of the story

As we are getting closer to her house, she starts calling me "man" with higher frequency. We get into her house and she starts making food. She asks me several times if she should call a cab...

There wasn't really a sexual vibe between us (despite me talking about sexual stuff a few times) and she was busy making food. I wasn't really sure how to lead this to sex. I was tired too. I got in a cab and went home. Coulda been more assertive for sure...

Other Notes

- I'm practising building social momentum fast
- I get girls laughing ridiculously hard with my banter. I'm in the middle of writing a post about it which I'll post soon in the tactics and techniques sub forum.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Trinity and I have been hanging out the past few days. I'm happy to add another notch to my count.

She let me fuck her raw. Just a few days ago I was complaining that some other girl stuck my dick in her pussy without a condom. Hmmmm, what am I thinking...

Anyways she gives half decent blowjobs, orgasms ridiculously easy and she's got the nicest pussy I've ever seen. It'd be cool to spend some more time with her but tomorrow I am heading back home. Hopefully I can keep her around as a fuck buddy for whenever I'm visiting my hometown

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Non-Stop Sparkly Eyes

I’ve been making improvements to my verbal game lately. As a result I’m noticing that girls are giving me the sparkly eyes more quickly than ever before. However I’m also sending girls into auto rejection real quick because I’m being a challenging jerk. I really need to be a jerk strategically. Here’s some things I've been working on:

- I’m avoiding getting onto topics that EVERY other guy talks about them like: whats your name? what do you do? where are you from? These topics are boring and get me nowhere in making the girl thinking I’m interesting, unless I’m using them as a stepping stone to get to some deep diving. No more casual chit chat! I want all my conversations with girls to be flirting.

- Similarly when girls asks me these questions, I use them as an opportunity to banter and flirt.

- I’m using push tricks that girls use on me, back on them. For example, sometimes they will tell me their name, without me asking. I will say “i didn’t ask for it.” In other situations, I will call them creepy. These are powerful and give me the upper hand but ruin my attainability.

- I started using a low effort way to get information from girls. Instead of asking them questions, i make some sort of stupid assumption about them which is obviously not true. then they volunteer the true information to me. For example:

backstory: you seem like you could be a lawyer
girl: haha no I’m actually going to school for architecture

- Overall I’m putting a lot less effort into my conversations. I'm purposely letting conversations die/saying way less to see if the girl will put more effort into continuing it with me. I can't believe how hard I was trying before...

- I’m looking for ways to make girls want me to qualify them. More on this later, I’m still working on it.

- Here are some lines I’m using lately:

you can't look at me like that and not say hi

This seems to be a great line for girls who are giving me approach invitations. I find that when I go up to them and say this, they bow their head and then say hello.

i didn't realize you were that type of girl

This is a line that will really get a girl's hamster wheels turning. If you go up to her and use this line she will automatically assume it's bad, but she will also be curious.

- I’ve been practising flashing girls quick facial expressions, rather than making facial expressions and holding them. I rarely ever smile when talking to girls anymore.

- I've been using anchoring. If girls start saying stuff I don't like, I start paying less attention.

- I am being more challenging with girls so I am getting tested a lot…as a result I am being thrown into situations where I don’t know what to say and I fail the test. I am making lists of everything girls are saying to me and then coming up with replies so I will know exactly what to say next time if it happens.

- I stopped wearing deodorant and rarely use soap anymore. I believe this has had a huge impact on my game. I haven't made any big changes to my fundamentals besides this lately, yet attraction from women has spiked. For example, today a girl was staring at me hard and playing with her hair. That never used to happen. Last week a girl who couldn't speak english was so excited/nervous by my presence that she was preening her hair very consistently and quickly with both hands and acting submissive.

 

[kristian]

Re: backstory's frontstory

you can't look at me like that and not say hi

Awesome opener, I am borrowing that!

Cool to hear you're making improvements, backstory. And like you've said before, I think we might be at a similar level with our games and fundamentals.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

you can't look at me like that and not say hi

Awesome opener, I am borrowing that!

you'll have to let me know how it works out for you

New Tactic: Pregnant Pause + Eye Contact

In conversations lately, I am being guided by my spidey senses. If I am in a conversation and I do something that feels right, I take note. If I am in a conversation and I do something that feels wrong (even though I don't know why it may be wrong yet) I take note.

As a result of my spidey senses I'm working on this new tactic. Last night at a party I held eye contact with someone while using a pregnant pause towards the start of our conversation. It felt so right and I could clearly see that it impacted the other person. I know I have done this in the past accidentally but the whole idea of it came to my conscious mind last night.

I'm not exactly sure how to efficiently use this tactic yet but I'm going to experiment with the length of the pregnant pause, the amount of eye contact, and how early I use it in the conversation.

Banter Improvements

I'm getting people cracking up like mad with my banter lately. I'm trying to structure my banter so it's a lot less obvious - you have to do a tiny bit of reading between the lines to get it and that's what makes it so much more wittier and funnier.

I feel like some of the things I've said in the past when bantering are so dumb and obvious. That's how I know I've improved. However sometimes I still say these obvious things and people love it...

Been studying witty people lately and I'm going to continue to do that.

Good Fundamentals Result in Quicker Escalation Windows

This is bugging me so much. When I'm at the bar girls will be giving me looks all night. Then when I go up to them they're not interested at all! Or they will give me an approach invitation, but I don't take them up on it. Then I go up to them later and they ignore me. Maybe it's a rebuff, I dunno.

Last night I was bantering with this girl. She was into it and she gave me this sort of interesting look. Shortly after she sabotaged herself, calling herself annoying and dis-engaging in the conversation. Changing baseline facial expressions are usually a sign of an escalation window opening.

I'm thinking that solid fundamentals make girls give you quicker and shorter escalation windows initially, and also make them go into auto rejection harder if you miss them. Maybe....the shorter you've known the girl for, the quicker the auto rejection because there's less investment. Idk, gotta think some more on this.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Destiny

I met Destiny on tinder. She was chasing me from the start.

She came over to my place tonight. We made out a lot but she has me in the boyfriend zone for sure.

She started testing my frame towards the end when she had to go. I found this interesting.

Overall it was too easy for me. She wants to hang out tomorrow.

Date with Nicky

I also met her on tinder.

She didnt seem too into me, but I intrigued her enough that she agreed to meet up with me. We met at a coffee shop a week and a half ago. It was an uphill battle to begin with - she was cold and unemotional towards me and it didn't help that my fundamentals were off.

She did warm up a little bit after some banter and and her facial expressions changed. She went from emotionless, to giving me these sexy smiles once in a while. If there was any time to make a move it would of been then.

I was debating whether i should ask her to come home with me or not. Not because I was afraid to, but because I didn't exactly find her that attractive. She looked a lot different than her pictures.

Later on I told her to come outside with me. She gave me a disgusted look but agreed. We're sitting outside and she says:

Nicky: Why are you on tinder?

If I had a chance before, it was definitely too late now...as she's asking me this, my phone starts ringing and I answer it. I get off the phone and say this:

backstory: come see my cats
Nicky: I'm good.

I chose the most awkward time to ask her to come back to my place - right after she subtly asked me to clarify her intentions with her due to a missed escalation window. It's no surprise she said no. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die after this.

This is a lesson for me. Although I feel I didn't really stand a chance to begin with, I could have seen a little bit more success by asking her to come home with me earlier. In the past during dates I have asked girls to come home with me too early, and I have asked girls to come home with me too late. When is the best time to ask? Next time I will try asking whenever I see that the girl has changed her baseline facial expression.

Update on Stuff

I haven't been cold approaching. I've been focusing on working out and starting a business. I miss cold approaching and can't wait to get back into it after I get these other priorities out of the way.

I've been reading a lot of chateau heartiste

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

i banged destiny, she's weird as heck... she won't stop licking me...and my neck is one giant hickey. she's chasing me really hard too

I'm gonna do an experiment. I'm gonna do a huge push and tell her I'm not looking for anything serious right now, and see how she reacts...

 

[Sandman]

Re: backstory's frontstory

i banged destiny, she's weird as heck... she won't stop licking me...and my neck is one giant hickey. she's chasing me really hard too

I'm gonna do an experiment. I'm gonna do a huge push and tell her I'm not looking for anything serious right now, and see how she reacts...

Do you think she will be more interested in you? I think it'd just kill your attainability. She's chasing you hard as is. I can see why you'd wanna experiment but if you want her as a fuck buddy better not to state that outright, it should be implied not explicit^^

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

i banged destiny, she's weird as heck... she won't stop licking me...and my neck is one giant hickey. she's chasing me really hard too

I'm gonna do an experiment. I'm gonna do a huge push and tell her I'm not looking for anything serious right now, and see how she reacts...

Do you think she will be more interested in you? I think it'd just kill your attainability. She's chasing you hard as is. I can see why you'd wanna experiment but if you want her as a fuck buddy better not to state that outright, it should be implied not explicit^^

hm, you are right in the fact that it should be implied and not explicit. i will take this into consideration, thanks

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Medical Distress Ripoff

I had Chloe over today that I met in this journal entry viewtopic.php?f=15&t=11327&start=200#p85056 under "You are Making This Too Easy For me Chloe"

When she got to my place we sat in my room for about 15 minutes chatting, then went and made lunch, then went back in my room afterwards. Her vibe seemed a little too polite but I knew I could get things turned around with a little banter, more touching, and some solid deep diving. So uh, we get back to my room after lunch and I'm working on these things. Her vibe was getting better.

All of a sudden she gets a call from her roommate who is in medical distress, and she leaves 2 minutes later to go help her out. Right after the call I was wondering if I should at least escalate a lot more (like a neck kiss) to convey clear sexual intent before she left. My spidey senses told me not to do this.

Every time I have a daytime date, there's always time pressure because the girl has to go do other stuff with friends or whatever. So from now on I'm gonna schedule things for night.

I will have to think about if I moved too slow or not, but I didn't notice any escalation windows so I think I'm in the clear. My only mistake was that I talked a little bit too much about myself. She was here for about an hour and a half. What a rip off, I was certain I had this in the bag

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Fundamentals Update - Diet & Health

I have been vegan for 2 months now. I believe I am at roughly 15% body fat because my abs are coming in - I have a nice 4 pack. Overall I’m in good shape, I would like some more muscles though.

Today I am making some further changes to my diet so I can reduce my body fat percentage more to get a 6 pack. I am counting my calories and measuring my macronutrients. I am going to be reducing the amount of healthy fats I eat while increasing the amount of protein I eat. I am having a hard time finding vegan foods that are high in protein while low in fat. I might need to buy some protein powder.

I’ve been going to the gym 4-5 times a week. The testosterone I am getting from my workouts has been incredibly beneficial for me. Sometimes I find myself feeling slightly unconfident, and when I do I force myself to recorrect my thoughts, body language, and behaviour so that I am more confident. Eventually I won’t have to consciously recorrect these things, they will automatically happen and I’ll naturally appear confident at all times.

Holding a strong frame and being charismatic is all about confidence, I believe.

I'm itching to get back into cold approach soon...getting lots of approach invitations lately.

 

[foggy]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Zyra The Egyptian

I met zyra on facebook. We talked a few times, it was about being business partners for something - 100% platonic stuff. We stopped talking. But then, a few months later out of nowhere, she invited me to her birthday party. I wasn't able to make it. However, afterwards we started talking in a less than platonic way. A little bit of flirting and banter, but neither of us directly stated our interest in each other. While all of this was happening, she was being quite persistent and kept suggesting times that we hang out. I was unsure as to why she wanted to hang out. We barely even knew each other. I was thinking, wow this is how a chick must feels when a guy asks for her phone number/to hang out and he didn't even bother to qualify her.

Anyways, life always got in the way so we didn't hang out...but i ended up grabbing her cell phone number. We texted a little bit, I would sometimes take forever to reply. Like 2 days sometimes. Here's our most recent text exchange which I find a little bizarre, especially towards the end.

November 3rd
backstory: what're your plans for this weekend and early next week?
zyra: chilling hbu? lol
November 5th, 10:55am
backstory: same sorta deal sorta
backstory: getting out of this massive hole i was in
zyra: tell me about it
backstory: tell me about it as in you were in a hole too or you want me to explain to you why i was in a hole
zyra: explain
backstory: i almost died
zyra: legit?
backstory: yes i almost died legitimately from starvation
zyra: you should've ate something
backstory: a very helpful tip from the one and only zyra
zyra: lmao thanks
zyra: i put a lot of effort in that tip
backstory: i can tell i actually did eat...something. long story though, how about we talk more when we meet up?
zyra: ok that sounds good
backstory: i got a very helpful tip to share with you right now
zyra: ok lets hear
backstory: an apple a day keeps the doctor away
zyra: very helpful backstory
backstory: don't mention it. i got dozens of others if you're ever in a predicament, which i bet you are quite often
backstory: lets hang this week? i finally got time
zyra: ill need lots of your pointers. and yes! like cmon backstory we gotta get together man
backstory: i've been slacking I know
backstory: what day works for you
November 5th, 5:51pm
zyra: why and hmm what days for you? so i have an idea of what works
November 5th, 6:25pm
zyra: you know backstory i do think you're cute if I'm being honest
November 5th, 10:22pm
backstory: thanks, you're very forward i like that about you
backstory: best days for me are definitely monday tuesday and wednesday in the evening

1. I almost said, "you've been slacking" but decided that it would set the wrong frame. Instead I chose to say that "Ive been slacking" to make it seem like she consistently asks me to hang out and I've been putting it off. Gives me the upper hand.

2. When i say "what day works for you", she replies 5 hours later. This was after she was replying non-stop. Could be a coincidence, but I think she took forever to reply on purpose.

3. After she says, "why and hmm what days for you? so i have an idea of what works", she texts me again 30 minutes later to tell me that she thinks I'm cute. This was really random. Up until this point there had been no direct statements of interest...just a bit of banter and flirting. Why did she do this? Maybe as a way to gauge my interest? Maybe as a way to set the frame of our interaction when we hang out? Could this be linked to my comment about slacking?

4. I had to take my attainability into account with my reply. I didn't want to come across as too attainable by calling her cute as well, and at the same time I didn't want to come across as unattainable by just playing it cool. So I decided to qualify her on an aspect of her personality, the fact that she is very straightforward. Which she is. The reply I chose, I believed it would allow me to be attainable while still keeping the carrot dangling in front of her.

5. After this, she has not gotten back to me for two days - this is the longest time she's ever taken to reply when we were talking. I wonder if she's doing this on purpose to see if I'll chase, or something like that? Perhaps my reply to her statement of interest actually made my attainability tank. Or, maybe she's really busy. I will have to think about this some more.

 

[kristian]

Re: backstory's frontstory

backstory

I clearly recognize some of the patterns here: You talk to a girl and she seems interested to meet up then suddenly- as you ask her out - she stops responding or take forever to respond. Could be she is pinging different guys at the same time and want to know what options she has before committing. If I where you I would invite her out from the very beginning, around 3rd November - just in case another guy acts faster and she is already taken.

Reminds me that girls also have a shotgun mentality to see what they can get. But what do I know? I just try to move as fast as possible and go for being too attainable than too unattainable (because I know women have other options).

Let me know how it work out.

- Kristian

 

[Sandman]

Re: backstory's frontstory

Zyra The Egyptian


4. I had to take my attainability into account with my reply. I didn't want to come across as too attainable by calling her cute as well, and at the same time I didn't want to come across as unattainable by just playing it cool. So I decided to qualify her on an aspect of her personality, the fact that she is very straightforward. Which she is. The reply I chose, I believed it would allow me to be attainable while still keeping the carrot dangling in front of her.

5. After this, she has not gotten back to me for two days - this is the longest time she's ever taken to reply when we were talking. I wonder if she's doing this on purpose to see if I'll chase, or something like that? Perhaps my reply to her statement of interest actually made my attainability tank. Or, maybe she's really busy. I will have to think about this some more.

I love how you anaylize everything, best way to learn!

Great frame with "I've been slacking".

If a girl gives you a compliment I think it's just best to say "thank you " and move on. Saying "you are very forward" does hurt your attainability even if you follow that up with "I like that about you". Imagine a girl telling you that, you would be pleased perhaps but would you also think that maybe you *are* being very forward? Next time you wanted to compliment her or show interest again, you would think twice, no? For girls this (not being seen as forward) is much more important.

If you are talking in real life maybe you can pull that method off but on texting it's not easy to convey warmth hence bigger risk of autorejection. I struggled with this before, girl would compliment me and I wouldn't know what to do. Now I just say thank you and act a bit more warm and move her.

I don't think btw that this situation is unsalvagable. Let's see if she replies