Self-improvement of Wes

[ray_zorse]

Yeah, this Sunday, I'm leaving in 2 days. Unfortunately still getting my phone situation sorted (due to fuckin Good Friday there's no postal deliveries and I won't get my fixed Galaxy S4 back till next week despite it having been sent express post on Wednesday afternoon), but when I do I will PM you my LINE contact details.
Ray

 

[Mr. Wes]

Yeah, this Sunday, I'm leaving in 2 days. Unfortunately still getting my phone situation sorted (due to fuckin Good Friday there's no postal deliveries and I won't get my fixed Galaxy S4 back till next week despite it having been sent express post on Wednesday afternoon), but when I do I will PM you my LINE contact details.
Ray

If you're a only going to be in Osaka for 5 days then I'm not going to be able to meet up.
I can only be there for 2 days and then it's back to work. Looking forward to those future LRs involving Japanese women.

 

[ray_zorse]

Yes, that's cool. What city are you in btw? I will try to write a comprehensive report of my adventures after I get back, will try not to spend too much time on GC if I could be approaching or sleeping. Will also try to find good openers in JP and conversational topics (have to find the JP
for "what's the kinkiest sex you've ever had" and so on... hehe). Keep approaching brother. Them JP girls are beggin' for some quality dick
Ray

 

[Mr. Wes]

Yes, that's cool. What city are you in btw? I will try to write a comprehensive report of my adventures after I get back, will try not to spend too much time on GC if I could be approaching or sleeping. Will also try to find good openers in JP and conversational topics (have to find the JP
for "what's the kinkiest sex you've ever had" and so on... hehe). Keep approaching brother. Them JP girls are beggin' for some quality dick
Ray

I believe the city is Ayase. I'm not an expert on Japanese geography yet.

 

[Mr. Wes]

Wes makes a comeback

I had to post this...this was just too good. I was trying not to die of laughter throughout this whole day.
So, I just got back from a "date" with the japanese girl that me and my roommate met at Enoshima.
The one from past posts who my roommate is desperately trying to become "something" with but has no idea what he wants.
The one who I gave up so that my roommate could have a chance with.
The one that my roommate wasn't even attracted to in the first place and is now head over heels for. lol
So I decided after last times events, my roommate had comfortably lodged himself in the friend zone if not boyfriend zone and he wasn't getting out. And I knew this girl needed a lover.
So apparently they had stopped talking for awhile. She was mad at him or he was mad at her or some lame bullshit. and me being bored today, I text her to see what she's up to.
Turns out she is bored too and is somewhere close by in Yokohama.
I tell her to come over to me so we can go catch a movie and hangout and she says she'll come right away.
AWESOME.
So, I accidentally meet up with her at the train station late because I was eating my lunch and then I finally meet her and she's "acting" all upset and shit that I took long. I just shrugged off her pouting as her being silly and cute and then I grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a sexual hug.
then I gave her hand a squeeze for a couple seconds and we played with each others fingers while we small talked.
On the walk back to my place, my roommate happened to drive by going the opposite direction and saw us. He immediately honked, we waved and then we kept walking.
We went by the movie theater to catch the 'kinsmen" movie and a man at the theater was kind enough to let us in for free. We even showed up 20 minutes late.
We sit down and through the first 10 minutes, nothing is going on and then I move my face to hers to whisper in her ear.
after that, she continually kept whispering back in my ear to ask questions flirt with me.
We had this very playful vibe at the start. She kept playfully hitting my shoulder at first.
Then she whispers to me that my roommate is texting her and is wondering where we are and if he can join.
LMAO. Just as I suspected, he was going to get insecure and feel the need to cockblock and supervise our hangout.
what a loser.
So, I welcomed him. I texted him exactly where we were and even met him outside the theater and escorted him in.
Mistake?

keep reading and find out....this shit is hilarious.
So he sits down and watches the movie with us and I guess he notices off the bat how into me she seems and how she is all over me.
At this point he's not doing anything.
Little does he know, I also got her to open up to me about things I assume she's never shared with him. I find out that she's bi-sexual and she continually tells me how hot she finds this actress in the movie. This is basically communicating to me that she is a low-key freak and i'm down to give her the time of her life.

the movie ends and then I had planned already to get free pizza being given out by the lounge so I lead her over to the lounge and we played a game of pool while we waited for pizza to be served.
It was so funny seeing my roommate trying to compete with me over her as if he could stand a chance against all this experience I've gained, while i just effortlessly stand around and she clings onto me. Everything he did was needy and insecure as fuck and he was basically pushing her closer and closer to being with me.
Do I feel bad?
HELL NO.
let's continue...
So pool is becoming a regular thing that I do with girls because there's SOOOOO many easy sexual innuendos in this game. It's ridiculous.
She didn't even know how to play so guess what? My roommate takes it upon himself to try to "teach" her how to properly shoot a ball in a socket. I'm guessing he's thinking that that's going to make him seem alpha or some shit but it just looked pathetic. I just sat back and died laughing inside as he tried to force connections and force physical escalation....
While she just kept running back to me and touching me and hitting my ass with her pool stick.

So, in the past, I had never seen my roommate physically escalate or even touch her of any kind except to maybe put his hand on her back. He always seemed so timid and scared to do anything with her. What's even more pathetic is that he's this 6 ft 6 man who is older than me and he has this timid little voice like he hasn't gone through puberty.
He's even more muscular than me too. he lives at the gym because I'm guessing he used to get bullied for being a tall scrawny guy. Now his fundamentals are on point but he has absolutely NO GAME and has your typical "Nice guy" mentality.
Imagine the sight of this short little scrawny black guy effortlessly getting all the attention as opposed to that.
So now, He's mocking my whole style of game and trying to physically do EVERYTHING he sees me doing.

So me and Japanese girl are flirting right in front of him despite all his attempts to take control and take what's "his", She's giving me "fuck me eyes" and then just playing along with his hugs and touches and really just leading him on.
I think what was most effective was that I stayed unfazed every time he came and tried to cockblock or snatch her attention. I just thought to myself: I got this, she's not going anywhere.
And i guess this confidence was expressed on my face.
I even set up this frame to make him believe that she was all over me and i wasn't even trying to "take her from him"
So he wasn't getting mad at me or anything, He was just visibly insecure and scrambling for solutions.
Exactly how I used to be.
It feels so good to be on the other end, after having countless girls (including my first girlfriend) snatched from me.

So the pizza finally arrives and we're first in line to grab some. While everything is being prepared I make her comply and fetch me a bottle of water.
I forgot how this came about but my roommate somehow initiated this petty little water fight that gave me more to work with. Thanks bro.
Apparently he was getting back at her about something so he poured water on her. She splashed water back at him and it was a little lame attempt to get some playful playground flirting going on.
She walked back over to me while he went to get paper towels and I said to her in the most sexual way.
"Aw, now you're all wet...what should we do about that?"
(fuck me now eyes)
my subcommunication: not yet, we need to be alone.

So I kept teasing her all afternoon while he desperately clawed for her attention. Then we found out that another free movie was going to play at 10pm. We went and bought snacks and went to the theater once again.
This shit was funny as hell when trying to find a seat.
So, the whole day, I took control and was being the leading, walking us from place to place and what not and then now he decides to takes control of how we're going to sit.
He gets all whining about how I had us set up and then tells me to switch so he can sit next to her...so she's sitting in the middle. lol
Fine dude, if you wanna keep coming off as needy...good for you.

So the movie is The Lazarus Effect and I guess since its a scary movie he has the typical guy mentality that he's going to be her "protector" during the movie like its going to get him pussy. LMAO.
So every time she screams he rushes to he to wrap his arms around her as if to shield her.
AND I'M SITTING THERE VIEWING THIS FROM MY PERIPHERALS TRYING NOT TO BUST OUT LAUGHING.
I let him have his little brief time of holding her during the movie but really during the whole movie she kept reaching for my hand to hold.
Every time she screamed, she grabbed my hand and squeezed.
any time we walked from place to place, She clung onto my arm like I was a pimp or something.
When we played pool, I had my reggae music playing in the background while she tried to initiate slow sensual playful dances with me.
SHE WAS EVEN SAYING: I LOVE YOU WESSSSS. no lie.
I had her chasing me ALL DAY. It felt amazing.

then finally the movie ended and we had to take her home. My roommate, took it upon himself to also be an escort for our little outside and help get her home safe like the "provider and protector" that he is. he even paid for her snacks cuz I guess he thought it was going to give him "nice points"

(durrr...perhaps da sex will fall out if he puts in enough nice coins durrr)
I'm thinking that we just drop her off at her hotel and then we both go back home. My plan was that I wait for him to go to sleep then I go back to her hotel room and give her what she's been waiting for all day.
We get to her hotel and then I tell her goodnight, and hug her. She looks like she doesn't want me to leave and starts pouting and telling me how she's glad we hung out today.
I look to my roommate whose body language is showing that He's trying to stick around and ask him: Are you coming?
he says: no, i'm going to spend the night with her.

then she butts in and says: you don't have to do that!
and he tells her that he thinks he really should....as if he's protecting her or something.
I give a little unfazed smirk....give her one last hug goodbye and head back to my room to type this.

I'm 100% sure he's not going to laid tonight like he probably thinks he is. With me gone, there's nobody left to style-jock...so he's on his own...to try and come up with a way to get whatever the hell he wants. Whatever he does, he's just going to be pushing her further towards me.
Everything he's done throughout this whole day screamed exactly what to do to keep a girls panties drier than the Sahara.

And with that, I'm off to bed. What a day!
PEACE.

her last text to me after i left:
me: had a good time tonight!
her: me too! I'm so glad that you texted me! I wanna try a scary movie again!

 

[ray_zorse]

An interesting read. A few criticisms though.

Firstly you seem to be kind of enjoying his discomfort. That's not very nice. Why is that, exactly? Is it because he's been a dick towards you in other ways? Or is it simply the frustration on your part of having stifled your natural game to give him space and have him fuck it up? Anyway, you really shouldn't be getting your kicks out of someone else's misfortune, that's your ego speaking. Try to leave your ego behind. I agree he was being a dick but it's better to handle this in a gentle but compassionate way. It does not really sound like he was tooling you, only expressing his attraction for this girl, so he doesn't deserve to be tooled back.

Secondly this girl is manipulative. I was reading one of Drexel Scott's posts recently in which he said "friendzone is not a friendship, it is an abusive relationship" and this is 100% correct, I had not considered this consciously before (although I was aware that e.g. my sister was not treating guys well in high school). She should not be leading him on and using him for validation and so forth. She is clearly aware of his interest and was in fact kind of torturing him by being all touchy-feely with you. Is this the kind of girl you want to have in your life? My girlfriends are very sweet and compassionate, and would never do this.

Thirdly, was it really necessary to invite him on the date? I agree you couldn't control the fact that he saw you together and blew up her phone. But you could have been stronger -- "you see him all the time, if you want to go see him now then do so, but count me out"... also as previously written (regarding your UNO playing girl I think), you need to take control of situations. At the point you wanted to lay her, you had to say to your roommate firmly "Well, it's been fun hanging out, but XXX and I would like to be alone now. I'll see you back at the apartment." or similar. If you don't do this, you look weak in her eyes and you lose attraction. Probably, you missed your window (at least that's how it turned out when I was in a similar situation a month ago). Even worse, you probably warmed her up to the point where she really wanted sex, and since you were not around (caved and folded and left him and her together) she may well have fucked him as a less desirable but available option. He had the balls to stand up and push in.

Ray

 

[Mr. Wes]

Osaka trip so far

I'm going to see if I can type this all out from my phone. And I'll keep it as short as possible. Only stickng to key points.

Went to universal studios with a group in Osaka. The plan was a day at Universal and then freedom to go our separate ways in Osaka during he nighttime.
I warmed up a bit during the day inevitably because it seems like Japanese people here are much more excited to see gaijin than over in Tokyo. Not only did we get stared at but people came to us to just take pictures like we were zoo animals.

Because of this, I waved at any cute girls who stared at me or I'd say hello and they'd start giggling with their friends in embarrassment. Then I'd usually say: ii tenki desu ne?
They reply: sou or so desu ne
And start giggling and whispering amongst each other.
Me and my roomate were in line to get food (yup he came along and had something to say about EVRYTIME I talked to a girl, claiming I was scaring them and that I was creepy and a bunch of excuses for why I shouldn't talk to them)

These girls in line with us had the longest conversation with me. I couldn't determine which one I was interested in.
Basically they were asking where we were from and giggling and we exchanged names and ages.
I assumed these girls were in high school or something but turns out they were older than me.
They were in their late 20s.
Eventually we want our separate ways and I wanted to talk to them if I saw them again.

After that, it didn't seem like any other girls were open to talking at all.
I'd stop them and give a compliment, they'd giggle and say arigato and then quickly try to escape.
It's very frustrating.

@Ray, you were right about the Osaka accent. They clearly sound different and believe it or not are more understandable to me. I think they speak slower and I can distinguish words better.

Fast forward and we all leave the park at 5 pm to go to out hotel and freshen up for the night.
We had the freedom to go do whatever we wanted but a lot of us just gathered together and went and got food at the Hard Rock Cafe in Universal's city walk.
I felt like it was a mistake because we ended up getting lost and our group split up due to confusion.
Nobody could figure out the train lines. (I pre looked at them before we went out thanks to Ray. I had somewhat of an idea where to go)
It was very confusing. We ate, got a little bit tipsy and then everybody seemed too tired to go out and do nightlife so everyone starting heading back for the hotel.
Hell, even I was tired but I did t want to waste my one night here so I decided to go out. My roomate and this older fellow decided to come along with me. I told them about Namba station and Dotonbori and all the things Ray informed me about.
We even had a helpful map givien to us for the trip.
I had them follow me from our hotel to this subway station literally right outside the door of the hotel. (We all took the overhead trains earlier to get around. Nobody knew about the subway except me)
At first these guys didn't trust me and were worried that Namba was going to be dead because it was late and everywhere we were, it was dead.
Then we get to Namba station and they quickly start praising me because there are very cute girls everywhere.
This station is packed and people are just standing around talking.
I navigated us through the north exit and lead the group to Dotonbori where we went into the Starbucks/bookstore for a bathroom break. Then it dawned on me that Ray told me about this place as well. It was really weird following around in his footsteps.
So in this Dotonbori walkway, people are just standing around talking and smoking and the ace smells like cigarette smoke and shit. Doesn't matter because eye candy everywhere. These girls were WAY hotter than girls we see on the east side of the country. Not nearly as much crooked teeth and weird cock eyed faces and skin tag growths. Lol
Every girl was freaking cute. And they all dressed nice. We were losing our minds.
I even got bitch butterflies.

So these guys are all daring each other and me to go talk to the girls and every once in awhile, I do it. (We were walking around scoping the place out)
My interactions went horrible. Girls straight up ignored me and walked around me.
And if they stopped then they'd say arigato after my compliment and quickly flee.

The older guy we were with kept saying all these girls were hookers since they're all standing around and I was like that's bullshit. If they were hookers, how come nobody has taken any of them home as hot as they are.

He made excuses not to talk to girls
My roomate mDe excuses not to talk to girls

They both had negative shit to say any time that I did and they laughed at me thinking I got rejected (but really rejections put you in state) it really sucks that I can't ever find anybody whose into pua and serious about it.
I usually go with others just to have the safety of a group and I'm in a foreign place.

I finally got one girl to talk to me for longer than a second. I posted up on this bridge and we just watched all the eye candy. This girl and her friend were talking to this jp guy (I wasn't sure if he was a u. Promoter or if they were. I do t understand why everybody is just standing around talking, it's strange for Japanese)

She stares at me and then I say konbanwa. She nods and says konbanwa.
Then I tell her that she is pretty and then do a come hither motion with my hand. She complies and walks closer to me and plants herself beside me...but still at a distance. My roomate close watches from behind me.
We are talking, saying the usual questions but I find myself asking more than her and she's not in the slightest bit curious where I'm from or anything like how everyone else does. These girls literally seem like could give a rats ass if we were foreigners or not.
Then her friend starts leaving with the jp guy and then she says "see you later" and leaves.
My roomate starts laughing at me.
After that I street stopped a French girl who was in a rush so she didn't stick around to talk and it was also hard for us to communicate. (I was speaking Japanese, English, and said the French phrase for "may I go to the bathroom?" Just to be random and funny)

Also, I left out...eRlier while scoping around, I met an Australian guy while asking what the hotspots around were.
He was really curious about me and was trying to get to know me as well. Turns out he's been in japan for 6 months and knew about as much Japanese as me.
My roomate and the other guy were getting impatient standing around waiting for me so they came to interrupt and tell me they're leaving. I parted ways with Aussie stranger man who gave me a lot of helpful advice and we went to his bar that was a sausage fest.
Dudes everywhere and only like 4-5 girls. They were all playing darts and smoking.
Turned out, since we walked in, we HAD to buy a drink so we got 2 sex on the beaches and a tonic water for the older guy since he was kinda drunk. He didn't want it so I drank it and we left that sausage fest

We stayed out passed the last train just to stand around and stare at girls or me getting bashed for trying to talk to any of them and then it eventually became 2am.
We grabbed a taxi and headed back to our hotel across from Noda station.

I feel like it was all a waste.
Maybe I'll get to come back this summer( or next year) and I know exactly what I want to do.
@ray maybe you're down for a meetup then?


To close off, I'm really getting discouraged about pua in japan now. I think what I need is some good infield videos of guys approaching here. So I can see what body language I need to have, what works and what doesn't.
The reason I'm here now is because of the infield videos I used to watch when I first got into pua.

I'm not giving up yet until I've looked into the club scene.
Wes

 

[ray_zorse]

It sounds like you gave it a red hot go, and I, for one, am impressed. Especially with limited JP (and I include myself here), it really is something of a numbers game. If you'd been more lucky then maybe promoter chick or French chick might have invested more or been down to hang out. I often spend a whole day approaching with nothing tangible to show for it except the knowledge I've made a lot of girls smile, had some interesting chats, pushed my boundaries and had a great time doing it. Always be having fun

On that note, where I think you might have fucked up a little is in bringing guys who you knew from prior experience would be a downer. Anyway, apparently my gf is going back to Osaka in 3wks and so I will certainly try to visit her and to meet up with u for some mutual wingmanship, but in the meantime you can't go wrong with just going out by yourself. I spent 6 days there solo approaching so one night isn't going to kill you.

I realize you sometimes feel like the creepy loner guy, but after a while you don't think that way. Solo approaching really toughens you up mentally (you become self reliant), and in any case you rapidly find you're generating so much company for yourself that you do not really feel alone anymore, whereas if you have the comfort zone of your group you retreat into it and kill your momentum every time.

Another trap to look out for is approval seeking, and I can relate a personal story about this. At a quiet time in my favourite bar in Tennouji, the bartender asked me for advice on how to be good with girls (I think he was interested in one of his regular customer girls and saw me flirt with her and get her number, to his credit he didn't get bitchy but took a more constructive approach). So I explained a bit about approaching and asking for dates and making a move and shrugging off rejection. Then I said hey, watch this, and proceeded to approach the next ten or so hot girls that walked past the bar, running after them and telling them they were cute and that I was sitting in my friend's bar with no one else there, and would like their company over a drink, had some good convo but no bites, and I think this is because I was approval-seeking (showing off to my bartender friend, look, I can pull hot girls) rather than being genuine and in the moment. Same with your outing.

Anyhow, approaching in JP is absolutely no different than approaching in any other place, the only real issue is the language barrier... and I think it is no coincidence that out of 3 dates (other than insta-dates I mean) I laid the one with great English, got a makeout with the one with some English, and got diddly from the one with no English. It's hard to connect beyond smalltalk with a language barrier in place. However, you will only improve through trying to do it, haha.

But nightgame could well be your friend in regard to the language barrier, since there's often not time for deep diving anyhow, plus girls who hangout in pickup spots often want to meet foreigners and speak English with them. Find a foreigners bar / pickup spot near u, if u were in Tokyo I'd suggest Gaspanic. Honestly anyone could pull from there, I achieved it 3 times without even the benefit of having read GC, though I only got 1 makeout since I did not know how to capitalize at the time.

Anyway, solid approaching man. Keep it up.

Ray

Edit: Must admit I also discounted the groups of girls doing nothing at the intersections, on the assumption they might be prostitutes. Shyness also probably played a part, since they are hot as (deer in the headlights effect that I warned you about, haha). I should definitely have approached a few to settle the question one way or the other. If u do, let me know.

Edit2: "Ii tenki desu" is a very polite, formal opener. If you could imagine yourself going up to a girl your own age in the U.S. and saying "Nice weather, madam", conceivably she'd be tempted to laugh at you, but realizing you are serious she'd probably think "Oh, that's cute, he's learning English" and let you down in a way that preserves your ego, but in any case saying "Tenki ii naa" which is what I would say... is pretty much like messaging "wassup" to a girl and expecting her to carry the convo. Anyway, learn that table of ta-form (equivalently te-form which is the same) for verbs and the equivalent 4-line table for adjectives (atsui, atsukunai, atsukatta, atsukunakatta) and you'll be golden. Go do it.

 

[Mr. Wes]

@Ray, thanks for the reply man. I think I'm going to start seriously learning japanese in my room when not in japanese classes/working. I haven't even started on learning kanji, hiragana, and katakana but I think i'm going to go grab some flashcards and work on it.
thanks for the links as always.

I'm supposed to meeting up a Tinder match this Saturday in Shibuya as well as going clubbing with a group of girls in Roppongi. (preselection and finally beginning this nightlife)
We'll see what happens and i'll try to have a post up.

Wes

 

[ray_zorse]

If I were you I'd focus on learning only hiragana at the moment. What I did was to run through the characters taking a couple of hours, via this site:
http://happyfu-fu.com/hiroshiandsakura/ls_hiragana_stroke.html
When I'd got a basic handle on that, I went out to a bar and started meeting people and asking them to write their names in hiragana and I'd try to pronounce them.

With hiragana you'll be able to understand most Japanese language learning resources, the one I recommend is here:
http://www.guidetojapanese.org/learn/complete

Now as to your dates, where will you be staying? I gather you don't live in Tokyo, so what logistics have you got planned?

In Shibuya I would recommend to go there beforehand and scope out where the love hotels are. So if your date goes well, you can pull her back to a love hotel. You can do basically what I did (move her several times, have dinner and games and a drink with her, then ask her to help you choose a hotel for the night), or whatever, I'm happy to help you with a date plan if you email the specific situation / requirements / what you want to do.

As to Roppongi you'll be staying out late after the trains stop, so you will want to pay attention to your logistics and ideally have a hotel in Roppongi to pull her back to. My tips would be as follows:

1. Book it now, because they fill up fast (everyone comes to Roppongi on a Friday or Saturday night to stay past the stopping of trains and then crash at the hotel in the morning). I've used hotels.com and booking.com in the past, I would imagine there are equivalent Japanese sites which would cover more hotels and/or give you a greater range, but the main thing is basically just do it. Another option might be to check out the love hotels and see what their rate is for the full night, this is generally a good deal (an awesome hotel room for cheaper than the major chains), but you cannot reserve, and you cannot check in until after midnight or even later.

2. Book a double room and tell reception your GF will be joining you. This will save hassles later when you come in at 3am with some drunken JP bitch on your arm, the worst thing that could happen is the hotel staff might think she's a prostitute and cockblock you. There's actually nothing they can really do, provided you paid for two people and not just one, which you must do every time, but they could spoil the vibe and frighten her off. So it's best to chat with them a little when you checkin, make sure you establish yourself as a good guy, and perhaps ask them if your GF needs to check in or provide identification (the answer will certainly be no).

Ray

 

[Mr. Wes]

Alright so I had my date yesterday with my Tinder match and here's the report.
Honestly, I feel very stuck right now...but I'll try to out as many details I can remember as possible so that I can help you, help me.

TL;DR: we ran out of things to talk about, I got in my head, I had a panic attack and got weird on her.

Report:

So 2-3 weeks ago I matched with a somewhat cute half Japanese girl, half something else and I sent her a simple message saying: "what're you up to?"
And it went from there.
(Important for later: when I go on Tinder, I basically just say yes to any girl who is not ugly, i occasionally view their info but I don't really care if they're not my type or appear to have a conflicting personality.)

So we're going back and forth on tinder for awhile, flirting, making each other laugh and shit and I had set sexual frames pretty early as well as a Chase frame.
She ate it right up and seemed like she was trying hard to impress me.
I rewarded her for it and told her I liked her efforts to make me like her.
We then moved off of tinder and onto this app called "Line" that a lot of jp people use.
Flirting still going on over a few days and we talk about meeting up. This was way before my trip to Osaka and Kyoto.
During last weekend, I hadn't texted her at all. After the trip, I shot her a text earlier this week to see if she was still down to go on a date.
Beforehand, we talked about meeting in shibuya but we ended up changing plans.
She was getting really excited because I guess she's never had a connection like this with a tinder match.
Texting her was fun, I thought we got along pretty well.
She asked if we could call instead of text because "she usually does this before meeting strangers"
I didn't see too much of an issue with it so we talke on the phone.
I heard her voice for the first time and she heard mine (or me trying my best to have a deep sexy purr on my voice lol)
She had a cute little British/Australian accent and turns out she went to Australia for high school. (How she learned English)
We inevitably got to know each other over the phone because we were very curious about one another.
I tried my best to not reveal too much about myself and keep her guessing. I teased her often and have her no answers to any of her questions. (Or I'd give it too her once she begged, to me setting the frame that I'm goong to be good at building her up to a climax, still not quite sure how teasing in this way works and WHEN exactly I should give in. I felt like if I kept playing with her, she'd lose interest and think I'm an asshole)
Over phone, I got her talking about small things like what she was mixed with (Japanese and Israeli)
How old she was: 25
Things she likes to do: watch scary movies.
And I thought I did a pretty good job of not deep diving too soon or revealing too much about myself. Idk what happened for this date, let's continue.

So we amped it up a bit two days before the date and started facetiming.
Things were still good. A lot of sexual tension and innuendos (from my end, she kinda just laughs at my sexual jokes but doesn't play along or tell me to stop. I kinda wish she'd play along so we can really start creating something)
The vibe over phone chatting was also very playful and fun. I had her laughing a lot inbetween our many questions to each other. It seems like we had a million things to talk about. We kept going on tangents and opening new threads and I really felt like we could talk about anything. The sexual vibe of Facetome was so intense that honestly I fapped the day before the date. (Which was probably a bad idea, she built me up so much that I wanted the instant gratification)

Then the day of the date (yesterday, the 25th)
We talked about meeting later in the day for dinner...
I told her I couldn't stay out too late because something unexpected came up and I have to work the next day (I'm at work right now, also she begged me so much to know what I do that I finally told her over the phone. Turns out she already is friends with a lot of other foreigners here who do what I do.)
She was fine with it and since she knows the area better than me she chose where we were going to eat.
We battled over what to get. She asked what kinda food I like, I said: it doesn't really matter to me because it's about spending time together, not the food.
She made the suggestion of Italian and I went along with it. (I should've led more but how can you lead in unfamiliar territory?)
In my opinion, she sounded as if the restaurant was going to be a really big deal. Like some nice fancy dinner to impress me. I kept telling her not to take me anywhere fancy.
I really feel like she was setting me up to be her boyfriend.
I even made a mention over the phone that I wouldn't pay for her and she gasped and questioned why that was. I told her, that I can't pay all the time and she can't get the bill sometimes, to which she agreed and then we changed the subject.
That stuck in my head as a clue to who she was.
So I tried to sleep the morning away and get rested up but I couldn't so I went out and took a walk. I ran into one of the guys I work with and he asked me of I was joining him and the Filipino mafia (Filipino mafia is the name we gave to the whole Filipino clique at work lol) to some Asian pride festival in Harajuku.
He told me it was going to be later that day.
I suddenly had the bright idea to go along with them and split off to go to Shibuya (because shibuya is close by and these guys know the trains better than I do. I always love going with people who know what they're doing instead of getting lost figuring things out myself. I should've just manned up and took on the trains myself...idk)
My girl texted me asking if we were still on for the day and I let her know about how I'm going with my Filipino friends to harajuku and then will meet her in shibuya. She told me she'll just meet me in harajuku instead because she also knows some good Italian restaurants there as well.

Me and Filipino mafia head to harajuku and we end up in a Gay pride festival instead of the Asian pride one. Turns out they were next to each other and it was just a short walk away. The good thing about the gay festival was that there were a lot of beautiful women there. My Filipino buddies are a lot better company to hang out with because they actually praise me when I talk to girls randomly. Although, they'd never actually do it themselves.
We were looking at this cute girl with above ass who was with, who I found out was her Mom.
They wouldn't go over to her so I walked right up to her, preopened by putting the back of my hand on her arm. She looked at me. I looked at her.
Me: hey.
Her: (surprised look)
I decided to just speak in English and see where it went.
Me: you're really cute, so I just wanted to come say hello.
Her: (staring at me) oh thanks!
Me: ah you speak English.
Her: yes! What's your name?

And it went from there. She was asking me all kinds of questions and then telling her mom in Japanese what I was saying.
Then her mom started talking in English and asked what I do for a living.
I somewhat lied because I can't tell all of my business to strangers but I told the truth about working with doctors in a clinic. She looked impressed and was like: ohhh a nurse! I am also a nurse!
Then she started questions which hospital I worked at.
I avoided the question and talked about something else lol.
Then my girl asked for my number and we exchanged numbers and I got her info on "Line".

Anyway, back on track...

So the time of the date rolls around and me and my friends are waiting at the train station.
I'm waiting for her and they're waiting for another member of the Filipino mafia to arrive.
We figured that they'd just meet my girl when she got there and then we'd split off and do out separate things.

Turns out my girls was coming by car and not by train and she parked away from the station. We was walking towards the station and called me. She told me she could see me standing with my friends and I couldn't see her.
Then we found each other and I introduced her to the Filipino mafia and then we split off and she led the way through the crowds of people.

She told me that she booked a reservation for 6:30 and it was a little early.
Then I questioned her if this was going to be some fancy place because I asked her not to take us anywhere fancy.
She said she didn't think it was that fancy. Whatever. We'll see, I thought to myself.

So since we were early, we stopped at a little coffee/tea shop to sit down and talk.
I didn't recall know what to get because I don't regularly drink coffee or tea so I feel like I embarrassed myself during this but she said everything was fine.
Along the way, I took her hand in mine so we could walk and not get split up, although, I wasn't really leading and she was leading the way.
She let me hold her hand but it didn't feel like she was super enthusiastic about it but she wasn't pulling her hand away.
I notice she smiled a little and blushed but then just let her hand dangle.
I decided to keep physically escalating.

The way we sat in the coffee shop was kinda perpendicular. Our legs were touching but I didn't feel like we were sitting close enough.
As for conversation, it seemed difficult to talk about anything. I felt like all the things that I could be curious about were answered so we knew just small talked and had long pauses of looking into each other's eyes and smiling.
Not sure if it was sexual tension or awkward silences.
Regardless, if it was sexual tension, damn...I need to work on getting more comfortable with it because I was not at ease with the silence and my mind scrambled looking for something to fill the silence.
Maybe I should've just leaned in and told her to lean in and kiss me.
At one point I told her to give me her hand and she complied and then we played with each other's fingers at the table.
She eventually pulled away to show me something in her phone. (Pictures of her with longer hair)

We kept talking about topics we had already talked about before over the phone and we talked about our impressions of each other. (Probably a bad idea)
She said that I'm everything she expected and she asked what I though of her.
Honestly, this is how I feel after meeting her.
She intimidated me with her lifestyle. She's the manager of a clothing store. She's really big into fashion and organizes fashion shows. She's traveled a few places and is quite experienced. I felt like I was talking to a woman, not a girl (which is how she came off over text and phone) I felt belittled. I didn't feel as dominant and I felt weak.
I didn't understand her world completely and tried my best to deep dive into topics I know nothing about or have any reference experiences with. I had stereotyped visions in my head of what her life is like.
I told her she reminded me of the boss lady on the movie "the devil wears prada"
She seemed like this offended her but I told her I didn't think it was bad. I pointed out a lot of things I observed about her but I told her I didn't think it was bad to reassure her and not hurt her feelings. But now that I think of it, I must've been a real asshole.

Then we went to the Italian restaurant. She paid her half of her tea and I paid for my coffee that I drank two sips of. Lol
She led the way to the Italian restaurant and it was like this dark room with candle type lighting and we were escorted to these seats that were way to close to other people. We had people to our left and right as we sat in the middle of this room with this tiny table and weirdly large chairs. (Whose backs were way far back for some reason so we had no choice but to lean in. As opposed to the coffee shop, I leaned back to show law of least effort)

I hardly ate the food here either. I was losing my appetite because of some anxiety. The restaurant was nice and all but the atmosphere made me feel like I had no control. She spoke Japanese to the waiter and she just seemed like she was in her element. She kept pointing out my obvious discomfort that I kept denying. She kept asking if I was okay. I lied and kept saying yes but everytime she brought it to my attention it made me even more nervous.

Conversation here was even worse. I know for a fact that it was just awkward silences not sexual tension.
I never tried to physically escalate because the way everything was set up made it look like I would be exuding too much effort.
She tried asking me questions every so often and we'd talk but the conversation would die. Until we found something else.
She kept asking about me and I knew I should stay mysterious but I went ahead and told her things about myself to fill in silence. I struggled to find anything we to ask her. At one point I found a good topic. "What was it like being half Japanese and half Israeli growing up in japan?" But that died as well.

She kept commenting on how little I was eating, how fidgety I seemed.
The. She asked when the last time I've ever had a girlfriend.
I wanted to stay mysterious but I couldn't come up with anything, so I told her that I haven't had a serious relationship in awhile.
I asked the same. She told me about her boyfriend from two months ago. I didn't want to dive into the thread of how they broke up and what happened so I changed the subject. I asked what guys she liked.
She said she likes guys who know what they want.
I felt like it was kinda an indirect jab at me for not really taking control and being so wavers throughout this whole date.
Then she asked me the same question.
I thought about it and said: I guess I'm still figuring it out.

It really got awkward and I felt really pressured to be interesting. I really just wanted to leave very badly.
I felt like I was going to have a panic attack.
Then finally I asked if she was ready to go.
She told me to help her finish eating everything first. We ate all the food and then she asked the waiter for the check.
I felt very bad for the way I was acting and she probably felt like I wasted her time.
I looked at her and I sincerely apologized, without really explaining what for. And then I shut down. I was done.

I went ahead and paid the bill but she offered to pay with her card and I'd just give her 2000yen.
We walked back out into the streets of harajuku and she escorted me to the train station.
Then we parts ways and hugged. She had this look in her eyes like she wanted me to do something as we parted ways but I didn't take the opportunity. My inner self was not at peace...and I feel like I need to be at peace in order to kiss or be good with women.

I had to figure the trains out by myself to get home, it was frustrating but I did it. Got home and passed the fuck out on my bed.

Something I also probably shouldn't have done: I sent her a text over Line saying that I understand if she doesn't want to talk to me again after tonight.
And then I passed out.

Woke up in the middle of the night and saw her reply.
Her: not sure why you sent me this message.
Me: so you didn't think any of that was weird? Honestly?
Her: why are you awake?
Me: just woke up randomly.
Her: go to bed.

Ignored it and went back to sleep.
I'm such a little bitch and I'm kicking myself over this whole date. I messed up so much!
I really hate myself right now.

Also, I guess I'm the type of person who likes to be on good terms with everyone so I guess that's why sent her that text hoping we could talk or something and I didn't have to live with feeling like an asshole.
But I guess I have to live with feeling like an asshole.

I feel very stuck now. I don't know if I should just move on or continue contacting her. (Probably a no).
Any questions or clarifications?
Any advice?

That's all for now. (Apologies for any typos, I'm typing over a phone, hope I caught all of them)
Wes

 

[snipefield]

Hey Wes, hang in there, mate!

I think you already recognized your mistakes. It's experiences like this painful one (which sometimes feel like somebody is punching you in the gut and heart) that you learn from and avoid the same mistakes in the future.

There were 3 mistakes in my mind:
1. You talked too much before meeting. Everything Chase writes about cautions against this. Simple stuff.

2. You relinquished your role as leader by letting her pick the restaurant. You should have planned out everything - picked the coffee shop (make it Starbucks because it's a chain and there's relatively little variation between stores). The next venue should be a karaoke box. And then after that should be the love hotel. In a way, Japanese cities have excellent logistics for pulling because these 3 venues can be within a 10 minute walk of each other if you plan well.

3. You didn't kiss her. Yes, she wanted you to do it in the coffee shop. Take a look at this video that Mr. Rob just mentioned in his latest post. I'm gonna try using this shit too. Very good for getting reference points regarding when to kiss. You can see in this video that making the move on kissing is not always super smooth like in hollywood movies. But it still works:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqoAtzTIgGA

Also, remember, whenever you decide to give something meaning, it becomes a fact for you. So, you thought she's intimidating because she manages a clothing store. Dude, you're a minority guy (I think, right?) working on an navy base in Japan. How much more adventurous and unique can shit get than that? SHE should be intimidated of you!

Give yourself some credit. I think you have to look deep into yourself and squeeze out these feelings of inferiority that you have. I can tell you this cause I can relate. I've been noticing this recently in myself and it takes some contemplation, reflection and dedication. Still working on it.

By the way, the fact that you felt like you were talking to a real woman, not a girl is a great thing! Especially in Japan, where women are very very often too girly. A "woman" woman can be a rare find in the land of the rising sun.

Don't worry too much about this one, there'll be others! Hope this helps.

 

[Mr. Wes]

@snipefield thanks for the feedback man. Yea, I'm thinking of just going out somewhere and knowing the areas around me so I can confidently lead.
As for Rob's video, that was great. I actually watched it before the date and it changed my perspective on physical escalation. I think my lack of inner peace caused me to not think clearly and get shit done.

So some advice?
Should move on and never talk to her again or should I continue texting her? I feel like being an asshole will come back and bite me in the butt later so I'm kinda scared of creating a demon.

Wes

 

[ray_zorse]

Yes, well we all have disappointing experiences, one +1 to this experience is you wrote it up very well, I really felt like I was there.

I think one thing you can always fall back on is honesty. Like in this case there was probably nothing to lose by doing so. You were honest with her by LINE after getting home, but this was maybe a little late to be opening up. When she asked you if you were uncomfortable, you could have said yes, and even rewarded her for being so perceptive as to notice and read you so well. This is something my dating coach Austin White put me onto (you might try him too if you like, he Skypes for $US80/hr IIRC). Then you could try to verbalize what is making you uncomfortable. It's the feeling that you have to play a role, and not being able to play that role, which is often the killer. (I get this when I'm experiencing erection problems, and I've recently been getting better at recognizing when I'm trying to fulfil a role, and changing tack).

Another thing which snipefield touched on, is lack of preparation / not making the date your focus... Honestly it's pretty wimpy not being able to get around in Japan, the public transport is just so good, though I would like to know if you have a data-capable SIM card in your phone, because I regard Google Maps as completely essential when I'm in Japan. The way I would have tackled this, would be to go out alone in the morning, and simply scout around the Shibuya area to find out where the love hotels are, the bars, the coffee shops, the restaurants and so on. snipefield is right in that allowing her to choose the restaurant was a bad move, not least because she apparently made a pretty shit choice, women have this idea of dates as romantic stars-in-the-eyes kind of affairs when you just wanted a casual meal. You were right in the things you said (repeatedly telling her not to take you someplace expensive and so forth), but you need to keep in mind the old writer's maxim, "show, don't tell"!!!

Look, don't think I'm dumping on you because it's not just you, I did pretty much the exact same thing on my second last day in Osaka, I met a cute woman in the morning and set up a date for that night, and it initially went well, but I had insufficient cash and had to get her to lead me to a Travelex, this is where it stated to go bad because she was leading me and I was starting to look weaker and weaker, I then said I wanted to go to ramen, and I knew a good ramen place, but in the moment I was slightly confused as to our location (because she'd been leading me) and I allowed her to choose the ramen place, which was fine but a bit sterile, on the way we actually walked past a landmark I knew, and so I could have just led her to my ramen place (smaller and the staff knew me there, useful preselection) but failed to do so. Needless to say, the date deteriorated from there. I actually felt weak, exactly what you described, what made it worse was that she wasn't super knowledgeable and kept looking shit up/going in circles so it wasted a lot of date time that we could have been using for relating, if I had just led confidently. Anyway, we live and learn, I didn't know how bad it would be to not lead in this case, and you didn't either.

But you know what is the craziest thing of all... I can intuit this chick is probably still into you, she literally gave you so many chances, and even in the last interaction "go to bed" she was trying to help you to not do anything further embarrassing and get some sleep and then man up and go back to your normal self. So if I were you I'd probably just persevere, don't refer to any of the shit that happened, except maybe to say "since I wasn't feeling 100% myself the last time, I feel I owe it to you to give you a good experience, meet me at XXXX and we'll take it from there"... Can you entertain her on-base, she might be interested in seeing how things work in your world? And for God's sake don't involve any friends, do scope it out beforehand and do lead strongly! Ideally involve 2-3 locations, maybe pool/darts and then a bar?

Ray

 

[Mr. Wes]

@ray thanks for the reply.
You suggestion at the end, I was actually just thinking about that today. Maybe I should start bringing girls on base. We have a hotel and restaurants and a bowling alley. I'm more comfortable here.
As well as starting over with her and bringing her into my world instead.

One thing I'm worried about is if our connection is gone or if we'll still be struggling with conversation. If that's the case then I guess it's over.

As always, thanks for the support guys
Wes

 

[Mr. Wes]

I've been too tired to post over the past few days and I'm really sleepy now but I'll see if I can write up all that's going on in as little words as possible.
First off, the post conversations of me and my date from last weekend.
I took Ray's advice and sent a message explaining that I wasn't 100% myself on the date and she should meet me again if she wanted to have a good experience.
she replied that it was okay and we should just see how things go.
her: I mean, I think you're nice but maybe we may be too different
her: but that's not a bad thing.

I agreed with her and said that I understood. She never replied after that and I didn't want to start pressuring her to see me again like a needy bitch so I decided to move on.
So I only felt a little down for a day and then, life went on.

This week, out of nowhere, I get a message from the girl that both me and my roommate seem to be clashing over.
her: Hey Wes! when are you going to teach me pool and take me to a movie again?

The Avenger's: Age of Ultron was going to be showing on thursday which was also the night my roommate was going to be working overnight shift so there was no way he could really interrupt us. @ray, I know you advised to leave these two alone and NEXT her, but I can't resist when A woman makes it SOOO easy for me. I wanted to see if I could still make something happen. So we made plans to see a movie together on Thursday and my plan was to pretty much have it go similar to last time only add in leading her back to my room and closing. I had a feeling she was going to be all over me again (and even if she wasn't I knew what I needed to do to pull her to me.)

So Thursday rolls around and we're texting back and forth about meeting and hashing out the details.
For some reason my roommate comes home and I'm wondering why he's not at work. Turns out, He switch his schedule with someone else and was going to work Friday, the next day instead.
no worries, I'll just change the plans to Friday because the movie is showing all weekend.
Then out of nowhere she sends me a message saying that she's never had a serious relationship before and she has a hard time trusting people and that she's never had a boyfriend.
her: a few days ago (roommate) told me he could be my boyfriend. He's been a good friend of mine, and i thought i should try to trust someone. Anyway, If we spend time together, we should tell (roommate) about it before we meet, I guess. Since you are my close friend (in my head: don't friend zone me bitch), I want you to know that. I'll see you tomorrow then

then I sent a message along the lines of: why are you telling me this...

all of a sudden I understood what Ray was talking about. Apparently she thinks she owes my roommate a detailed account of where she is at all times....as if she belongs to him.

her: (roomate) didn't like it when I was holding your hand and hugging you last time. And...I don't know...Everything is so new to me.

Me: yeah i know, I knew it would bother him and I didn't understand why you told him we were seeing a movie the first time. Of course that would bother him. But still, since he turned you down, I don't think it means he owns you. You have the freedom to hang out with whoever you want.
I just feel like this is the worse possible time to tell me this (the night before we hangout). I understand that its all new and confusing but you're kinda hurting both of us. (me and the roommate)

then she started apologizing and saying she didn't mean to hurt either of us...and apologized multiple times more.
But I was ready to move on....I'm irritated that she can't trust in our connection at all and feels this scarcity that my roommate is the only one she's allowed to see...so i said:
me: idk if I want to see the movie tomorrow anymore. Just let me know next time you want to hangout.

(leaving the door open but I also feel like now that I've expressed how I feel about her blabbing our business to my roommate, she'll stop doing it.)
her: okay...

Now apparently we were going to have this "Spring fest" on base where it was going to be this big open festival that's open to all the japanese locals as well. Awesome chance to meets tons of jp girls....(and i'll get to that in a bit)
the next day (friday) I invited her to come to the spring fest. (the plan was to use the high energy atmosphere to get her pumped up and to also make sure she continually felt attraction for me so I can pull her back to my room and close)
She told me that she was feeling very down after our talk and wanted to spend the day in her room sulking or something. she didn't want to hangout with my roommate or me.
I showed concern and wished her well.
And I can only assume that she's also been messaging my roommate after the events from yesterday and he probably said something something that didn't make her feel too happy as well. Its also apparent that something bad is going on between them because I can hear him slamming doors in our room and the energy doesn't feel too good.
What I don't understand or respect is that he never just talks to me about this whole triangle situation. Instead he guilt trips her into being with him...which is very manipulative.
And I also believe that he all of a sudden wants to be her boyfriend because he truly has a scarcity mentality and CANNOT move on. He couldn't handle seeing a girl that he rejected being with someone else so he got scared and figures she's the only option he has.

Regardless, I'm moving on...
I don't consider her as a potential girlfriend and honestly, If she comes onto me again, I want to see if I can close things out...but ONLY if everything is the way I want it. No more roommate cockblocking, no more drama.
I want to close things out for the sake of learning the complete process from date to fuck. (because I haven't been in too many of these situations yet and I want to expose myself as much as possible)

Anyway, The Spring festival was today and I had to volunteer at a booth selling American food to Japanese locals. Anytime i had a break in work, I walked around and talked to jp girls.
most interactions started with them looking at me and noticing my "Hokusai: The Great Wave" picture on my shirt which gave me an open to talk to them.
the first duo of girls went exactly like that and I immediately opened with "konnichiwa!"
they were pretty excited to talk to me and I decide dot just speak english even though they said they only understood a little. They did pretty well talking back in english until we for past rapport. anything deeper than: shumi wa nan desu ka? (what are your hobbies?) or what kind of music do you like? and it gets hard to communicate.
I like to play this game with the girls where i make them say english tongue twisters and they see how fast they can say them. Gives me an excuse to high five them when they do it.
Eventually I felt convo dying a bit and decided to get the LINE contact info and move on.
I was instantly in state.
After, I walked past a duo of girl sitting down on the grass on a towel. They were pointing at my shirt thinking i didn't notice. (I had shades on so nobody could see my eyes)
i waved at them and then said konnichiwa and plopped down by them on the towel.
same deal, built rapport...convo died down and I got contact info and ejected.
I always set up a frame where I'd bring them back on base to try more American food and see American movies with me.
honestly I'm starting to get all these girls mixed up....they're all starting to seem the same to me and the interactions were very similar. I even got the contact info of EVERY SINGLE GIRL I TALKED TO. this has never happened. I have too many girls in my phone right now than I know how to handle.And they're all curious and texting me still at this moment. I feel bad because i'm ignoring texts now. And I'm still trying to pick out who I thought was the cutest within the duo approaches. I didn't have a wingman to take the one I was attracted to.

of all the interactions, here's the two that stood out the most to me (because they were the hottest and are also not texting me at all....weird how that works)
the first was when I was walking around with a girl I work with. We were both in uniform roving around to look out for anyone who needed medical attention.
The girl that I work with is new here and I've been getting to know her and she's pretty cool. She told me that she'll be my wing woman.
so I approach this beautiful japanese looking woman walking alone.

I decide to go with my classic "security guard" opener from when I first started PUA. (which has a 50/50 chance of working)
me: (holds out hand in a stop motion and talks in authoritative voice) excuse me, ma'am, i'm going to have to escort you out of this festival because you are simply too beautiful to be walking around here...
she looks at me for a moment and then realizes the joke...then starts laughing.
her body language showed that she was about to walk again but I locked her in with a handshake and asked her name. I figured out why she could speak english. Turns out she's half japanese and half peruviian. and WOW....she was one of the prettiest girl I've seen all day.
then the girl I work with started asking her questions and helping keep convo going between us. the whole time, I continued holding hands with her and then go her contact info because she seemed to be in a rush.

next one was another duo but I stopped the one who I found the most attractive. I used the same "security guard" opener and this time it didn't work and she laughed, said something in japanese and kept walking.
I think part of this was due to the girl I work with blurting out: wow really? in disbelief after my opener.
Apparently she didn't hear the opener the first time I used it so from her point of view It looked like I just went up to peruvian/jp girl and said hi or something.

after the duo ran away, girl I work with was like: that line is lame, how about you just be honest and give a genuine compliment. If a guy said that to me, I'd be thinking about how many other girls he's saying that to. Who's actually dumb enough to fall for that?
I told her that it has a 50/50 shot of working and the point of it is to just open, get a girl to laugh and then I change the subject and say my honest intentions.


fast forward and this same duo of girls comes back over to us and asks if we could help her out. Mysteriously, the more attractive one got her leg cut open and she had blood streaming down her leg. We took care of it and we I was cleaning her wound she was asking me questions after I asked her questions. then, I got her name and contact number.
She and pervian/jp girl still haven'y responded.

its all good though...
I'm exhausted and that's all for now.
Peace.

 

[Mr. Wes]

I forgot to add on what I learned about gaming jp girls yesterday...I was so tired.
So after having all these similar interactions and getting contact numbers, I began to question why I didn't just walk them back to my room and attempt to lead to closing there.
Then it dawned on nye that maybe I should start leading the jp girls that seem into me. If they're just like any other girls, it should work.
I could probably draw out the conversations we have and just continually lead the whole time.
I also need to experiment with sexual vibes with them....unfortunately all interactions seem playful and I keep see myself fucking them (and they probably can't see themselves fucking me)
its a process....I'll get there.

over and out
Wes

 

[Mr. Wes]

I started on this last night but I lost it so I'm starting over...

I LOVE FESTIVALS

because that spring fest got me multiple numbers of jp girls who are actually into me and texting back. I went out on a date with one of the girls on Sunday. Her name is Sara....one of the girls who didn't seem all that interested upon first meeting her but gave her line info anyway. Over text, she seemed enthusiastic about talking to me.
Keep in mind she only can read english and type back in english but she can hardly speak or understand what I'm saying to her so much of our date was quiet and slightly awkward.(but better than my last one)
Nevertheless, I think I managed this date pretty well, even though it didn't end in a lay.
This was probably my 5th date that I've ever been on so I'm learning.
We were texting about what to do and then she suggested that we see a movie at a jp theater. I realize that I should be in control so that the same situation like last time's date doesn't happen but I decided to give it a chance since I've never been to a jp theater before or dated a jp girl who didn't speak much english. I went for the reference experience more than anything...
I could've cared less if it ended in a lay, it would've been a bonus surprise if I could pull it off.
So we met up halfway since I didn't want to comply and go all the way to her (in Tokyo) and she didn't want to come all the way to me. We met up in Kawasaki's train station.
I arrived first and went to the nearest toilet.
By the time I got out she had arrived as well...she was texting me trying to find out where I was and we spent a few minutes trying to navigate our way to each other in the crowd. Turned out I was still on one side of the gate and hadn't scanned my Pasmo card. I told her to meet me by Krispy Kreme and as she started coming towards it, I saw her. She giggled and ran toward me. I tried to hugged her but it was kinda a one sided hug that she didn't participate in. She just stood there. (I noticed this from a lot of jp girls, not just her. I know their culture isn't really big into public displays of affection and the most they'll do is hold hands in public) So I let her lead the way out of the station and take us towards the theater. I tried speaking to her in english to get some conversation going but she kept saying "what?" or "nani?" to everything I was saying as if I was speaking too fast.
It was then that I realized that she could only read and write english...so I started typing to her on my phone and had her read it.
Didn't get a nice flowing convo but I made her giggle a little.

We got to the theater and decided on a movie to watch. The whole walk there, I felt very dominant despite the fact that she led. I had my hand on the small of her back at some cases or I rested my hand on her arm as we rode up escalators and such. The vibe was very nice and it was a very beautiful day outside. We were at some kind of outside shopping mall attached to the train station. There was also some kind of concert going on at the stage below on the basement floor. Anyway, back on subject...We decided on Furious 7 since it was the closest movie we could watch to time-wise and everything else was too late. (I can't stay out on a Sunday night)
the movie was about an hour away so I asked if she was hungry. She said no and asked me the same. I told her I was thirsty so Let's get something to drink. We found a little Starbucks and both got these nice mango smoothies. Along the way there, I took her hand and held it so we wouldn't get split in the crowd. She immediately took it away, looked at me and shyly smiled with a mixture of a "what are you doing?" expression.
alright, let's do this. I wanted her to know exactly why I was there. No hiding intentions.
A few minutes later I took her hand again and she didn't take it away but rather let her hand dangle and didn't put any effort to hold onto my hand. Eventually, I stopped trying to force it and let her hand drop out of mine.
We took out smoothies outside and found a nice bench in the sun to sit down and drink.
At first, she sat directly in the sun but then moved closer to me to sit in the shade.
I texted her things on my phone asking her if she's ever been with a guy before. She said yes.
Then I typed: its hard to communicate when we both don't speak too much of each others languages, but I think we can still manage. (typed much simpler than this)
She smiled at this and agreed.
Most of the date, she communicated to me with her eyes and barely said a word.
On the bench, she was giving me looks/expressions I couldn't quite decipher. All I know is that I liked them.It felt good sitting so close to her. She smelled really nice and she let her long hair fall on my arm.Our legs and arms were touching and I could tell she was getting comfortable with me. (I built the comfort throughout the date ever since meeting at the train station) I remember taking her hand again and playing with her fingers and she pulled away and smiled shyly again. I took her free arm and started examining it. She wrote "notebook" on her left arm and i asked why.
Sudden;y, she remembered that she had to buy a notebook for school so she shot up from the bench and we walked into the mall to look for a notebook.
In the mall, I took her hand some more, which she grew more comfortable to but kept letting it fall apart after a couple minutes. Or she'd find some reason to take it away by reaching for something or checking her phone.
no worries.
She tried to take me into a make-up shop but i gave her an expression saying: "are you serious?" and we quickly moved on. Went into a shop selling notebooks and she looked around at some. She seemed like she wanted me to help her choose but I was like: just choose!
So she left and she didn't buy one after all. lol
We took a few pictures together with some japanese paper fans.
Then we realized our movie was starting soon so we took off and headed back towards the theater. At this point, She was holding my hand a little longer and not letting it dangle.
On the escalator I was playing with her belly button ring. (she wore a cute see-through crop top and had this sexy lace bra-thing underneath.)
Then the movie...
We had to choose our seats when we paid at the machine but when we got to our seats she sat in mine because her seat was next to a man that I guess she didn't want to sit by.
I shrugged it off and sat down.
We were pretty quiet through most of it. We laughed at a few parts together.
And occasionally I'd see her looking at me from the corner of my eye...I'd turn and look at her and she gave me this cute "curious" side glance with an expression like "I wonder what he's thinking" I'm not sure....At least I read it that way. She seemed very un readable and her behavior and signals were everywhere.
Eventually when I caught her looking back at me, i took her by the chin and tried to pull her in for a kiss. She just kept her head still and didn't participate while I awkwardly kissed the side of her mouth. I did this multiple times after waiting a while to see if she'd warm up to kissing me.
Then i typed a message to her: Have you ever kissed a guy?
she said "yes" and that was it.
okay? so its not like she hates it...she's just probably shy or not open to public displays of affection.
Eventually, I wrapped my arm behind her so she can lean into me but she doesn't budge. The position is kinda awkward so I take my arm back.
near the end of the movie though, see both are getting a little cold and i continually asked her: daijoubu desu ka? or nemui desu ka? or samui desu ka? (are you okay? are you sleepy? are you cold?) she kept saying she was fine but then when I asked if she was cold she nodded and then leaned into me. I wrapped my arm around her and she rested her head on my chest and we finished the movie like this.
I couldn't get her to kiss me though.
While the credits rolled, we just sat there in silence and for some odd reason, Japanese people don't leave when the credits roll. They all just sit there in silence. It was weird.
like only 2-3 people left and I was like: alright...you guys can go now...
but they wouldn't leave so I took Sara by the hand and we left the theater.
we both went to the toilets and then she asked me if I was hungry. I was so she led me to a Mcdonald's and I got myself a quick burger while she sat and waited for me to finish eating.
The whole time throughout the date, (I forgot to mention) I set the frame that we would continue seeing each other even after this, so She didn't think I was pushing for a one night stand and then never speaking to her again. I just don't want to give those vibes to jp girls cause it seems they're pretty aware of puas or "nampa" in Japan (julien from RSD lol) I just want to date around first so I can see some similarities between jp girls and pinpoint what I can do, how sexual I can get and how fast or slow I can move.
So far, holding hands seems alright aside from the fact that they let their hands dangle and slowly warm up to my touch.
I think the fact that I said things like: We can see Cinderella (she wanted to see that movie) next time or we'll eat there next time made her warm up to my advances. Although the mistake it may inevitably cause is that she might view me a a boyfriend and put me in the boyfriend zone. I'm still not sure if they even consider having lovers in this country. Most girls I meet even in the U.S. don't even seem to be aware that they separate men into different categories. They're in the secret society but know nothing about what they're doing. they just do it.
I finish eating and then we walk back to the train station. I tell her that I had a good time with her today and she understand what I'm saying...she smiles and says that she enjoyed her time as well. We both go the the same train platform. She's trying to show me how to get back home and then all of a sudden, she takes my hand and leads walks me with her to find a spot for us to stand as we wait for our separate trains. She couldn't find a spot that wasn't full of people so we stopped walking and waiting for our trains. She no longer held my hand and didn't talk much.
Then my train came. She cutely said: bye bye.
I tried hugging her but she stood there not participating like when I first met up with her. I hopped on my train and we parted ways.

Later, on my way, home I texted her saying that naxt time she should come to base and we'll watch a movie here.
Then she asked if she could bring her friend. (the one that was also with her the day I first met her the day before.)
me: why?
her: i want to bring my friend.
me: would that make you feel better?
her: yes
me: maybe. goodnight.
her: sweet dreams.

so I'm thinking bringing her to my territory is out of the question now that she wants to get her friend involved. Or I can get a guy friend of mine to come along and distract her friend but i still feel like it would all be a lot of work. I doubt the friend will let her go anywhere without her.
or maybe they're up for a threesome? lol I don't see japanese girls being that freaky.

Anyway, I think the date went alright. I feel like maybe she held back a lot due to the pressures in this society to not display affection. Maybe I could've showed some social intelligence by mentioning to her how I understand the culture but I couldn't think of a smooth way to say this.
Maybe next time, I should prepare everything and get a hotel set up and take control of the whole interaction and get her to finally unwind behind closed doors.
She didn't seem to reject my advances so my guess is, keep moving forward.

I also have two other girls I'm really interested in seeing: Lily and Ruby....each I met at a festival. Lily, at the gay pride festival and Ruby, at the spring festival. They both speak a lot more english so hopefully I can get with one of these two out and see how that goes.

that's all for now.
peace.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Yo Wes good job on taking the lead here and persisting in your physical escalation. It does a good job of showing your intent and dominance and persistence is sexy to women (when you kept taking her hand).

Sounds like she was receptive to being moved somewhere more secluded with you. The thing about girls that don't speak the same language as you is that well... there's not much else to do but have sex and then be flirty and comfortable afterwards.

I say tell her to come to the base by herself and see what she says. If not then go for your plan B.

Glad to see you consistently getting dates man. It took me a LONG time to get to that point as well.

Keep it pimping dude

-Rob

 

[ray_zorse]

Incidental touch is very powerful, I liked the sitting together and getting comfortable part early on. Also yes, they aren't aware of how attraction works, they just feel it or do not, hehe and it's actually amazing how little they are aware of (missed window -> 180 degree change of emotion -> they become convinced they always felt that way, and anything they did or said beforehand was for some other reason entirely), haha it's hilarious when you observe it closely.

Absolute props on the date, I realize you are wanting to grab reference points and this is terrific for your outcome independence. Although if I could make two comments they would be (1) while practicing the earlier stages of your game such as approaching, conversation, getting numbers or going on dates, you still should be trying to grab incidental practice in the later stages as you will progress much faster, but you will also fluke a lay occasionally (see LR: OMG I can't dooo thiiiss), and (2) it would be helpful to have a plan in mind for getting her to a seduction location before you set out, no matter how vague or unlikely it seems. For instance I had an 11am coffee date setup at the uni and I was gonna say "OMG it's a beautiful day, no way am I going back to class in this weather, drive me down to X street and we'll sit by the river" and then pull her home from there, well I knew that this was totally unlikely to happen via an 11am coffee date, even though she comes in by car for a single 10am class, but the point was it was a contingency plan, the best I could come up with on the spur of the moment, that could be adapted or changed depending on how things panned out. No matter how infeasible the plan appears, it's still good to have one, because you get surprisingly many opportunities to mould the course of events. In your case I might have suggested karaoke instead of movie theatre, had I thought things through beforehand? (Note in my example she did not respond to anti flake text and probably didn't turn up, lucky because I was having insta date with a much hotter chick).

Anyway solid work. Looking forward to your next date report And, JP girls are all slutty bitches so don't worry about pushing hard, they'll eat it up and if you do unluckily encounter a conservative one (and fail to smash through her conservative frame and get her snatch wet) the worst that can happen is she'll say no and potentially run away, no biggie (this happened to me but she's still friendly over LINE, showing they'll respect you much more if you at least TRY it).

Ray