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This would probably work but it might be a little too intense for me especially the second part
I may need to just make an appointment to see my internist
Surveying the Topography
- Thread starter Conquistador
- Start date
I may need to just make an appointment to see my internist
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Well, it seems to be clearing, although I’m not back to normal just yet.
I’m about to go out to the bank and then get cracking on work.
I’m about to go out to the bank and then get cracking on work.
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- Sep 2, 2022
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It’s still difficult, but hopefully tomorrow will bring more improvement.
If I work hard enough, everything will all work out. And soon I’ll finally be moving out.
Two steps forward, one step back.
There’s a lot to be done but a lot can get done in even one day if one’s focused and minimizes friction.
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- Sep 2, 2022
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I made less progress than hoped over the holiday weekend, but at least I got some rest.
Right now I’m on less than 4 hours of sleep (and three heaping spoonfuls of coffee), but…
I have a workable detailed plan for the whole day!!
I’ve been doing this on intense days lately to make sure I don’t miss anything and it’s been working fairly well.
In addition, I was inspired by Always Busy Girl to do this more frequently so that eventually most or all tasks will be scheduled.
I expect to be seeing more of her, by the way. That’s part of why she doesn’t feel urgency. Well, I’ll show her how hot a commodity I am. (And I’ll try not to be too gamey about it, either. I care about her feelings, more than those of some other girls.)
By the way, I had a reality check lately. It’s not really that I’m unwilling to have an LTR (altho I’m hardly gonna go exclusive before getting a lot more experience) but that I legitimately am not really able yet. Partly because of my relative inexperience handling women but mainly…
Because my life is still up in the air.
For one thing (among many), the recent disaster is largely still affecting things. I’ve solved some of the other damage, but my finances, though highly solvent, are still inaccessible for now and I have to find a way to get payment through on my phone plan this week.
Pro tip, kids: don’t carry your all cards in a hi-viz wallet if you can make do with a discreet cardholder thingy. My bro showed me his when I told him about the catastrophe.
Right now I’m on less than 4 hours of sleep (and three heaping spoonfuls of coffee), but…
I have a workable detailed plan for the whole day!!
I’ve been doing this on intense days lately to make sure I don’t miss anything and it’s been working fairly well.
In addition, I was inspired by Always Busy Girl to do this more frequently so that eventually most or all tasks will be scheduled.
I expect to be seeing more of her, by the way. That’s part of why she doesn’t feel urgency. Well, I’ll show her how hot a commodity I am. (And I’ll try not to be too gamey about it, either. I care about her feelings, more than those of some other girls.)
By the way, I had a reality check lately. It’s not really that I’m unwilling to have an LTR (altho I’m hardly gonna go exclusive before getting a lot more experience) but that I legitimately am not really able yet. Partly because of my relative inexperience handling women but mainly…
Because my life is still up in the air.
For one thing (among many), the recent disaster is largely still affecting things. I’ve solved some of the other damage, but my finances, though highly solvent, are still inaccessible for now and I have to find a way to get payment through on my phone plan this week.
Pro tip, kids: don’t carry your all cards in a hi-viz wallet if you can make do with a discreet cardholder thingy. My bro showed me his when I told him about the catastrophe.
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- Sep 2, 2022
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I’m working through the procrastination and it looks like things will be all right once again, but somewhat tight due to delays.
I’ve been in stickier situations before. It should be fine.
God willing, I’ll meet all of my minimal objectives and hopefully be in a stronger position for the winter campaign.
That said, the main risk right now is in terms of moving out before February.
It’s doable, but progress is too gradual fpr my taste.
Also, the time crunch in the next several days is tight but it’ll work out.
The main thing is to get good sleep. Also, to ejaculate less. That is, not as a sleeping aid as I’ve been doing, but out of natural horniness built up.
Overall I’m mostly improving in almost every way.
Anyway…
_______________________________________
Today I had a really fun deep-ish dive with a girl I’ve mentioned before. Overall we spent something like an hour paired in a group setting and then thirty or so minutes with each other, part of which was her chauffeusing me a short distance.
This is SC and something she told me combined with my awareness of being sleep-deprived kept me staying sexy-social and not trying to really set specific frames.
However, I thought it was really interesting that she qualified herself, more like an equal/sidekick than submissively, about a few things.
Also, she doesn’t ever try any of the constant BS she does with other guys. Among other reasons, I clearly enjoy her brashness (and say so) while calling it out in a friendly way.
This is largely because I now have some experience dealing with such girls (not to mention gradually learned to set clear boundaries with women, and people generally, in my family and other social places).
Looking back, I can’t clearly fit her into either of the three archetypes that @fog? has been very helpful with because she has a deep mask of this casual brashness with men as a long-term adaptive response to trauma. Earlier I told her I had thought she was a closeted lesbian but she self-identified as straight and I assume she is in fact.
The thing is that it’s probably not just a mask. It looks more like a personality shift, not unlike my own previous/ongoing changes.
I’m sure I’ll find out if I can get a chance to get through her surface layer, which I can likely do easily next time we’re at all isolated just out of warm benevolence + established dominance/compliance. I assume she’s not much of an SSO (unless she’s buried it deeply). She might have some princess tendencies; she’s definitely fairly ambitious. I don’t know how passionate she really is because of her mask.
She’s growing on me. I like how she’s sidekick-y, that she has a spine but will accept my frame. Also, that she has real ambition, despite having a certain femininity under the surface that a lot of girls don’t have in this day and age.
In fact, I intuit that she’s a pretty darn good fit, although I’m feeling chill about it.
Either way, the “gravitational” path, vs. trying to be magnetic, seems to work well with her.
There’s still a fair amount of emotional distance but we could definitely bridge it…IF I can find the time for a date by the end of the semester. Increased mutual vulnerability would be a big step forward.
I’ll be seeing her once or twice later in the week and I think I’ll do my best to move things ahead.
The main thing is gonna be the frame. She’s cool with being single (although she has a 50-50 friend group) and I tend to doubt she’s currently sexually active. I need to communicate the Third Way to her snd sell her on my frame.
A general thought: if as I read here earlier women mainly consider sex to be a natural extension of feelings, I should develop a clearer understanding of that through experience.
In other news, I met someone and he knew who I was already (I didn’t recognize him) and told me he had voted for me in something. Hopefully a taste of what’s to come…my grand strategy is bearing fruit…
I’ve been in stickier situations before. It should be fine.
God willing, I’ll meet all of my minimal objectives and hopefully be in a stronger position for the winter campaign.
That said, the main risk right now is in terms of moving out before February.
It’s doable, but progress is too gradual fpr my taste.
Also, the time crunch in the next several days is tight but it’ll work out.
The main thing is to get good sleep. Also, to ejaculate less. That is, not as a sleeping aid as I’ve been doing, but out of natural horniness built up.
Overall I’m mostly improving in almost every way.
Anyway…
_______________________________________
Today I had a really fun deep-ish dive with a girl I’ve mentioned before. Overall we spent something like an hour paired in a group setting and then thirty or so minutes with each other, part of which was her chauffeusing me a short distance.
This is SC and something she told me combined with my awareness of being sleep-deprived kept me staying sexy-social and not trying to really set specific frames.
However, I thought it was really interesting that she qualified herself, more like an equal/sidekick than submissively, about a few things.
Also, she doesn’t ever try any of the constant BS she does with other guys. Among other reasons, I clearly enjoy her brashness (and say so) while calling it out in a friendly way.
This is largely because I now have some experience dealing with such girls (not to mention gradually learned to set clear boundaries with women, and people generally, in my family and other social places).
Looking back, I can’t clearly fit her into either of the three archetypes that @fog? has been very helpful with because she has a deep mask of this casual brashness with men as a long-term adaptive response to trauma. Earlier I told her I had thought she was a closeted lesbian but she self-identified as straight and I assume she is in fact.
The thing is that it’s probably not just a mask. It looks more like a personality shift, not unlike my own previous/ongoing changes.
I’m sure I’ll find out if I can get a chance to get through her surface layer, which I can likely do easily next time we’re at all isolated just out of warm benevolence + established dominance/compliance. I assume she’s not much of an SSO (unless she’s buried it deeply). She might have some princess tendencies; she’s definitely fairly ambitious. I don’t know how passionate she really is because of her mask.
She’s growing on me. I like how she’s sidekick-y, that she has a spine but will accept my frame. Also, that she has real ambition, despite having a certain femininity under the surface that a lot of girls don’t have in this day and age.
In fact, I intuit that she’s a pretty darn good fit, although I’m feeling chill about it.
Either way, the “gravitational” path, vs. trying to be magnetic, seems to work well with her.
There’s still a fair amount of emotional distance but we could definitely bridge it…IF I can find the time for a date by the end of the semester. Increased mutual vulnerability would be a big step forward.
I’ll be seeing her once or twice later in the week and I think I’ll do my best to move things ahead.
The main thing is gonna be the frame. She’s cool with being single (although she has a 50-50 friend group) and I tend to doubt she’s currently sexually active. I need to communicate the Third Way to her snd sell her on my frame.
A general thought: if as I read here earlier women mainly consider sex to be a natural extension of feelings, I should develop a clearer understanding of that through experience.
In other news, I met someone and he knew who I was already (I didn’t recognize him) and told me he had voted for me in something. Hopefully a taste of what’s to come…my grand strategy is bearing fruit…
Last edited:
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- Sep 2, 2022
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Today was definitely not an off day. I slept in but at least got 8-9 hours. Still have sleep debt.
This left me with little time before I finally began my new easy-money gig. It had taken me 15.5 months of procrastination and delays and I thereby lost thousands in potential income.
After that I had back-to-back events on campus, which went well but fairly uneventfully.
There were some delays getting home and I finally arrived after suppertime. It took me longer than expected to wind down.
Tomorrow I should have a couple hours to do some focused work. Much of Friday and some of Saturday also. After that, my schedule gets, surprisingly, MORE open ahead of finals, which will be easy this semester.
So it should all work out.
I’m getting better at being organized, if slowly.
As I said, not much seduction-related has happened since my last post, but I continue to accumulate XP here and there.
Tomorrow, however, there will be major action, socially speaking.
However, I want to just reflect for a moment on the fact that I scored a major W by finding someone to work with and then starting. This puts me SIGNIFICANTLY closer to moving out, financially speaking. I could theoretically afford a studio to myself (not easy in LA) and, provided I continue to rely on my parents, keep a small budget surplus for contingencies.
Also, the situation at home has gotten a bit easier again. This will help. However, I urgently need to rebuild critical personal infrastructure after the series of recent incidents and failures. Well, at least my bike and phone are functional.
Also, I kinda need to get a haircut. Maybe I’ll have time tomorrow after my planned nap.
There are two things I want to reflect on.
First, while my objectives for the winter campaign are taking shape, a lot depends on my starting position. Luckily, I think it’ll work out all right, unlike previous campaigns where I was coming in as I was, with little prep (having been recovering from burnout in between).
Secondly — and this is important — I’m making significant, steady progress organizing tasks and stuff. And the logjam was broken by a girl showing me (see above). Perhaps doing more stuff with girls will help in other ways.
That said, until next week I won’t be in a good place, timewise and mentally, for dates and any kind of escalation.
But at this point my fundamentals are at the point where I could conceivably play a numbers game without much effort or tactical finesse. Combined with my increasing social status and prominence, I have more abundance than ever.
By the end of next week, schedule permitting, I want to have been on two proper dates. And I feel extremely ready to put in the work to close girls and make plans.
This left me with little time before I finally began my new easy-money gig. It had taken me 15.5 months of procrastination and delays and I thereby lost thousands in potential income.
After that I had back-to-back events on campus, which went well but fairly uneventfully.
There were some delays getting home and I finally arrived after suppertime. It took me longer than expected to wind down.
Tomorrow I should have a couple hours to do some focused work. Much of Friday and some of Saturday also. After that, my schedule gets, surprisingly, MORE open ahead of finals, which will be easy this semester.
So it should all work out.
I’m getting better at being organized, if slowly.
As I said, not much seduction-related has happened since my last post, but I continue to accumulate XP here and there.
Tomorrow, however, there will be major action, socially speaking.
However, I want to just reflect for a moment on the fact that I scored a major W by finding someone to work with and then starting. This puts me SIGNIFICANTLY closer to moving out, financially speaking. I could theoretically afford a studio to myself (not easy in LA) and, provided I continue to rely on my parents, keep a small budget surplus for contingencies.
Also, the situation at home has gotten a bit easier again. This will help. However, I urgently need to rebuild critical personal infrastructure after the series of recent incidents and failures. Well, at least my bike and phone are functional.
Also, I kinda need to get a haircut. Maybe I’ll have time tomorrow after my planned nap.
There are two things I want to reflect on.
First, while my objectives for the winter campaign are taking shape, a lot depends on my starting position. Luckily, I think it’ll work out all right, unlike previous campaigns where I was coming in as I was, with little prep (having been recovering from burnout in between).
Secondly — and this is important — I’m making significant, steady progress organizing tasks and stuff. And the logjam was broken by a girl showing me (see above). Perhaps doing more stuff with girls will help in other ways.
That said, until next week I won’t be in a good place, timewise and mentally, for dates and any kind of escalation.
But at this point my fundamentals are at the point where I could conceivably play a numbers game without much effort or tactical finesse. Combined with my increasing social status and prominence, I have more abundance than ever.
By the end of next week, schedule permitting, I want to have been on two proper dates. And I feel extremely ready to put in the work to close girls and make plans.
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- Sep 2, 2022
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Halfway through the day and a lot has happened, mostly in the background:
-I fixed/replaced another piece of critical infrastructure.
-My schedule for next week is more flexible, but the tasking is still heavy.
-So I’ll go on dates as a way to chill a little between long periods of speedrunning.
-I had to present something in class and got reactions from girls who had never given me anything before.
-Also, during the past few classes we’ve been covering SOT stuff. I haven’t tried super hard to leverage it into conversations.
-*However*, the class is drawing closer together rapidly during the last few weeks.
-I want to ask a girl out by the end of the day if at all possible.
Mainly, I’m trying to get a better grasp of how to warm girls up in all dimensions and help them get ready for action. There are girls who’ll simply warm up from continued proximity to a guy they like, but I think they’re actually a minority (which means a somewhat larger % of girls are potentially into me than I thought). Not that many available girls will reject me quickly, so I need to work on the yellow->green thing.
I’m also doing another round of introspection about what I want. I need to have a clear frame about this medium-term Third Way. Girls in college seem (small sample size…so far
) to eat it up like a Liège waffle but still, I myself need to get comfortable with the balance.
It’s very easy for me to love a girl, in a simple giving-benevolence way. But I have baggage attached to romantic feelings and I also would prefer to save certain aspects of romantic love for something more committed eventually.
I think I’ll have to just wade in and handle feelings as they happen.
Lastly, I’m coming to realize how much of an enabler/force multiplier semen retention can be. I’m making a little progress but still a far cry from the way it was last fall.
Oh also, I had short-sightedly told my mom a while back about an event and she will be taking my sisters to it. Guess I can’t use that as a date anymore…unless I can do something plausibly deniable à trois…
-I fixed/replaced another piece of critical infrastructure.
-My schedule for next week is more flexible, but the tasking is still heavy.
-So I’ll go on dates as a way to chill a little between long periods of speedrunning.
-I had to present something in class and got reactions from girls who had never given me anything before.
-Also, during the past few classes we’ve been covering SOT stuff. I haven’t tried super hard to leverage it into conversations.
-*However*, the class is drawing closer together rapidly during the last few weeks.
-I want to ask a girl out by the end of the day if at all possible.
Mainly, I’m trying to get a better grasp of how to warm girls up in all dimensions and help them get ready for action. There are girls who’ll simply warm up from continued proximity to a guy they like, but I think they’re actually a minority (which means a somewhat larger % of girls are potentially into me than I thought). Not that many available girls will reject me quickly, so I need to work on the yellow->green thing.
I’m also doing another round of introspection about what I want. I need to have a clear frame about this medium-term Third Way. Girls in college seem (small sample size…so far
) to eat it up like a Liège waffle but still, I myself need to get comfortable with the balance.It’s very easy for me to love a girl, in a simple giving-benevolence way. But I have baggage attached to romantic feelings and I also would prefer to save certain aspects of romantic love for something more committed eventually.
I think I’ll have to just wade in and handle feelings as they happen.
Lastly, I’m coming to realize how much of an enabler/force multiplier semen retention can be. I’m making a little progress but still a far cry from the way it was last fall.
Oh also, I had short-sightedly told my mom a while back about an event and she will be taking my sisters to it. Guess I can’t use that as a date anymore…unless I can do something plausibly deniable à trois…
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2022
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- 1,055
At an NG event some time ago (I haven’t reported about it previously but it was the one in my profile post) I had this older blonde kinoing me and stuff. So I asked her how single she was and she was like “oh my husband is over there”.
I realized recently that it didn’t occur to me to ask if she was into “The Lifestyle” or otherwise available. I guess I screened myself out there…or maybe she was just having some innocent fun with me.
Since my last post, there’ve been some SC developments. Not gonna write em all up rn.
Anyway, I have a lot of work to do. Nonetheless, I’m gonna take as many shots as I can this week.
And after finals are over…most of my leads aren’t going home…plus I’ll almost certainly be moving out over the winter. Additionally, the UCs are on quarter systems…I have plans for that…
I realized recently that it didn’t occur to me to ask if she was into “The Lifestyle” or otherwise available. I guess I screened myself out there…or maybe she was just having some innocent fun with me.
Since my last post, there’ve been some SC developments. Not gonna write em all up rn.
Anyway, I have a lot of work to do. Nonetheless, I’m gonna take as many shots as I can this week.
And after finals are over…most of my leads aren’t going home…plus I’ll almost certainly be moving out over the winter. Additionally, the UCs are on quarter systems…I have plans for that…
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2022
- Messages
- 1,055
Waiting until the last minute to do my term work was stupid. If I work hard and manage time, I’ll probably still scrape As, but I screwed up.
Luckily, I’ve already made a number of resolutions to make sure I do better next time.
Luckily, I’ve already made a number of resolutions to make sure I do better next time.
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2022
- Messages
- 1,055
Today I number closed a girl while working in the library (the one on my hone campus).
She’s very unusual in a cool way. Would be identifying to explain. But she clearly has layers.
In retrospect, I should have moved things forward and gotten her to come to the music practical final that I’m planning on attending.
Still, I did alright. We’ll see where it goes…
After the approach I felt much lightsr than when I had been studying.
I also pinged an SC lead and got a “maybe” (legit schedule issues because finals prep).
I have a strong desire right now to make more moves on more girls. So I will.
However, I’m more cognizant than ever of the weak points in my game. Right now they don’t matter to me.
Once I have the headspace after finals, though, I want to get more systematic about improving.
She’s very unusual in a cool way. Would be identifying to explain. But she clearly has layers.
In retrospect, I should have moved things forward and gotten her to come to the music practical final that I’m planning on attending.
Still, I did alright. We’ll see where it goes…
After the approach I felt much lightsr than when I had been studying.
I also pinged an SC lead and got a “maybe” (legit schedule issues because finals prep).
I have a strong desire right now to make more moves on more girls. So I will.
However, I’m more cognizant than ever of the weak points in my game. Right now they don’t matter to me.
Once I have the headspace after finals, though, I want to get more systematic about improving.
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2022
- Messages
- 1,055
Let’s start with the good news: I now have a laptop that works great! This is truly amazing.
I also took the time to really properly pray from the heart for the first time in ages. It felt really good. Then I spent what the clock says was only about 20 minutes meditating on various things (from the large-scale to the practical) and I feel that I gained insight.
The high lasted only perhaps 2 hours. That’s how dark a place my parents’ apartment can be to me.
By the way, the reason I was able to flow like that was that somehow that approach I described in the last post…unblocked my emotions and temporarily fixed my mood. So I think it can go both ways @Spyce D
Anyway…tonight has been a little painful. I took my last emergency anti-anxiety pill and I should get 3.5 hours of decent quality sleep. I need more so I can also take a nap.
But my will is unbroken.
To an extent my final grade may depend on how my visits to office hours turn out. I am naturally determined to do everything possible to earn an A and I think so long as I finish the work my professors will be pretty chill.
The speedrun also has to continue. It won’t be a walk in the park to finish everything and I’ll likely be pulling multiple several-hour sessions in the library in addition to shorter bursts.
Phone service is still out, so I’m reliant on wifi and can only message people with iPhones.
I’ve realized how much stuff I’ve allowed to wear out up to now. This winter I’ll have to fix as much as possible.
Some more good news to end off: I’ve realized how pathetic I can about not taking shots. And I will improve.
In fact, not only will I improve, but (unless on the off chance something completely unexpected makes me abandon this path) I am going to learn and grow until I’ve mastered the ability to seduce most women, anytime, anywhere. I’m not the sort of person to be satisfied by half measures of success.
But I may have to wait until I’ve recovered from the hell I’ve been through. By which time I’ll have a comfy little pad all my own to pull girls to. In fact, as of today, I could theoretically afford one (although finding a suitable one is less straightforward).
Not only is there hope, but in the long run, I am succeeding steadily. There hasn’t yet been a properly glorious breakout, but that’s fine. The conditions for such a thing are slowly being set, anyway.
I want to finish by acknowledging how much I’ve learned from everyone here.
But to be honest, I’ve learned more from the field than from any of you, of course.
I also took the time to really properly pray from the heart for the first time in ages. It felt really good. Then I spent what the clock says was only about 20 minutes meditating on various things (from the large-scale to the practical) and I feel that I gained insight.
The high lasted only perhaps 2 hours. That’s how dark a place my parents’ apartment can be to me.
By the way, the reason I was able to flow like that was that somehow that approach I described in the last post…unblocked my emotions and temporarily fixed my mood. So I think it can go both ways @Spyce D
Anyway…tonight has been a little painful. I took my last emergency anti-anxiety pill and I should get 3.5 hours of decent quality sleep. I need more so I can also take a nap.
But my will is unbroken.
To an extent my final grade may depend on how my visits to office hours turn out. I am naturally determined to do everything possible to earn an A and I think so long as I finish the work my professors will be pretty chill.
The speedrun also has to continue. It won’t be a walk in the park to finish everything and I’ll likely be pulling multiple several-hour sessions in the library in addition to shorter bursts.
Phone service is still out, so I’m reliant on wifi and can only message people with iPhones.
I’ve realized how much stuff I’ve allowed to wear out up to now. This winter I’ll have to fix as much as possible.
Some more good news to end off: I’ve realized how pathetic I can about not taking shots. And I will improve.
In fact, not only will I improve, but (unless on the off chance something completely unexpected makes me abandon this path) I am going to learn and grow until I’ve mastered the ability to seduce most women, anytime, anywhere. I’m not the sort of person to be satisfied by half measures of success.
But I may have to wait until I’ve recovered from the hell I’ve been through. By which time I’ll have a comfy little pad all my own to pull girls to. In fact, as of today, I could theoretically afford one (although finding a suitable one is less straightforward).
Not only is there hope, but in the long run, I am succeeding steadily. There hasn’t yet been a properly glorious breakout, but that’s fine. The conditions for such a thing are slowly being set, anyway.
I want to finish by acknowledging how much I’ve learned from everyone here.
But to be honest, I’ve learned more from the field than from any of you, of course.
Last edited:
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- Jul 9, 2019
- Messages
- 730
Tbh , I don't know the context you are talking in.
But , yeah , going out and approaching is therapeutic.
I have been gaming daily during the commute even if it's just 1 approach a day cuz I am busy these days ( like today ) and it has helped me deal with lot of my emotions .
I Have begin to see women as opportunities in life , so cuz I have been going towards them to talk ...somehow I have also gotten a bit more aggressive In pursuing important things in my life too .
Before , I would only half ass shit .
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- Sep 2, 2022
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When I woke up today, I remembered that in the distant past I’ve felt like getting up was the natural thing to do.
I almost always have sleep debt so I haven’t really felt that way in a very long time.
That has to change. Not only that, but I’ll see what I can do about paying off sleep debt BEFORE I’ve escaped my family.
I almost always have sleep debt so I haven’t really felt that way in a very long time.
That has to change. Not only that, but I’ll see what I can do about paying off sleep debt BEFORE I’ve escaped my family.
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- Sep 2, 2022
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Interesting dilemma right now:
I’d prefer to have a girl with me to make an appearance at a certain event. However, it’s not great for a first date, especially without a bounce afterwards (and I can’t be staying up late).
So there’s a very limited number of girls I can ask.
Well, we’ll see. Anyway, right now I have a whole day to work and approach and meet friends.
I’d prefer to have a girl with me to make an appearance at a certain event. However, it’s not great for a first date, especially without a bounce afterwards (and I can’t be staying up late).
So there’s a very limited number of girls I can ask.
Well, we’ll see. Anyway, right now I have a whole day to work and approach and meet friends.
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- Sep 2, 2022
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I made some minor “inaccuracies” just now during an SC random encounter.
However, I don’t think it matters; in any case this girl is about to go home for break and by February everything will be very different.
But…
I learned some lessons.
Firstly, disclose as little as possible. I should have gone “never mind then” with a little smile instead of explaining why I was probing her schedule.
Another one is to always be ready to make more than small talk. I had gotten more sleep than I often do, but I was hardly at full power. Still, I was all right.
There are other more subtle lessons but I’ll process them later.
However, I don’t think it matters; in any case this girl is about to go home for break and by February everything will be very different.
But…
I learned some lessons.
Firstly, disclose as little as possible. I should have gone “never mind then” with a little smile instead of explaining why I was probing her schedule.
Another one is to always be ready to make more than small talk. I had gotten more sleep than I often do, but I was hardly at full power. Still, I was all right.
There are other more subtle lessons but I’ll process them later.
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- Sep 2, 2022
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This week big changes are taking place in my thinking about several different areas.
Also, I don’t think it’s helping me right now to devote time and headspace to girls. I need to finish the semester and then I’ll have a lot more time to actually grind and improve and approach and go on dates and get results.
The main thing, though, is to focus on the strategic-level efforts. This means, first and foremost, moving out.
When I’ve achieved that, which I’m pretty close to doing, I’ll start a new journal.
Also, I don’t think it’s helping me right now to devote time and headspace to girls. I need to finish the semester and then I’ll have a lot more time to actually grind and improve and approach and go on dates and get results.
The main thing, though, is to focus on the strategic-level efforts. This means, first and foremost, moving out.
When I’ve achieved that, which I’m pretty close to doing, I’ll start a new journal.
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2022
- Messages
- 1,055
I’ve been wearing leather shoes around and today somehow it was really polarizing.
I had a bunch of random encounters plus some of the usual Thursday meetings. Most notably, the older cheating girl from a year ago passed me twice, several hours apart; the first time she didn’t give any sign of seeing me but the second time I saw a reaction. The year hasn’t been kind to her physically (unlike me) and she looks thoroughly unattractive now.
Also, actually, something pretty major happened behind the scenes.
I decisively broke a key limiting frame. In a few weeks, I should be in a position to do something similar, but even bigger.
A lot more than all that has happened today but bottom line:
Nothing else matters except school until next Friday.
Beyond that…
I have a lot of work to do on my game.
In the long term, I’m committed to doing whatever it takes to master women. Despite my not having as dark a personality as many of the experienced guys here, deep down I have a thirst that can only be slaked by a long trail of adventures. My best bro, a guy even more religious than me who (understandably) would rather I not become a ladykiller, suggested that I travel a lot more. I told him I want to travel more either way and by now I’d likely just use the opportunity to meet more women under a more permissive social frame.
I also want to do some real bulking over the winter. But first I really want to cut more, which I’ve started doing again.
And, of course, I need to move out. It’ll happen. I’m confident that it will, especially given my recent successes getting things done. My mother may be depressed from the shorter days, but this year I feel better than I did earlier in the semester tbh.
I had a bunch of random encounters plus some of the usual Thursday meetings. Most notably, the older cheating girl from a year ago passed me twice, several hours apart; the first time she didn’t give any sign of seeing me but the second time I saw a reaction. The year hasn’t been kind to her physically (unlike me) and she looks thoroughly unattractive now.
Also, actually, something pretty major happened behind the scenes.
I decisively broke a key limiting frame. In a few weeks, I should be in a position to do something similar, but even bigger.
A lot more than all that has happened today but bottom line:
Nothing else matters except school until next Friday.
Beyond that…
I have a lot of work to do on my game.
In the long term, I’m committed to doing whatever it takes to master women. Despite my not having as dark a personality as many of the experienced guys here, deep down I have a thirst that can only be slaked by a long trail of adventures. My best bro, a guy even more religious than me who (understandably) would rather I not become a ladykiller, suggested that I travel a lot more. I told him I want to travel more either way and by now I’d likely just use the opportunity to meet more women under a more permissive social frame.
I also want to do some real bulking over the winter. But first I really want to cut more, which I’ve started doing again.
And, of course, I need to move out. It’ll happen. I’m confident that it will, especially given my recent successes getting things done. My mother may be depressed from the shorter days, but this year I feel better than I did earlier in the semester tbh.
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- Sep 2, 2022
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Just a few more days of grind left…
I’ve been making a lot of progress with my own internal frame and with setting goals. And of course other kinds of background growth also continue.
I spent much of the weekend languishing. But it was comforting to realize how relatively little of that I’ve been doing lately.
It’s now clearer to me than ever that everything centers on moving out.
I don’t yet have an exact timetable but it had better be by early February at the latest otherwise I don’t know what I’ll do. I think that’s eminently achievable, altho the sooner the better of course.
In a sense things will get more complicated then, however. Right now I’m on a “war footing”, neglecting certain things, focused on controlling stress and maintaining a semblance of stability.
The task facing me once I’ve achieved this long-held dream will be to actualize that achievement and build a new life on new ground, from the ground up.
Well, I’m sure the experience and lessons learned from the past few years will be helpful along the way.
At the same time, I can’t just do what I’ve done before and let things in my parents’ house build up and just stake things on landing on my feet in my new home. I’ve tried that and it didn’t work either time.
This time, though, the focus is on building the bare skeleton of a sustainable baseline while I remain here in this purgatory.
And I am succeeding with this!!
A possible next step is to devote more time to both SC and dating. With the former, ngl I am still stuck in the frames I was raised under, which are frankly almost antisocial and not conducive to solid friendships. All the bros I’ve made since puberty, in fact, are through shared experiences/challenges rather than just “being social”.
That is to say, there is still an element of distance in every single one of my relationships at college. The number one reason, I think, is unwillingness/inability to invest time. And in some ways it may have been easier to handle what I’ve been going through confidently alone (apart from the couple solid guys from before of course).
But now it’s about time that I did something about that. So I’ll do Something About It…
Not to mention that now that I’m on the home stretch of this long journey, I realize that at least in one sense it’s for the best that I’ve done relatively little with girls during the long slog. Up to now.
But now that I almost have one foot in my new home, it’s time to actually go and date for real, intentionally, and make use of whatever I may have learned up to now in order to have some sensual experiences.
It should be pretty straightforward honestly. Unless I get back into cold approach, but I think it’s best to get some results from SC before I do that.
A lot of what I’ve been doing this semester is, frankly, recovering from the chronic damage of the spring. Last fall and spring really did a number on me physically and mentally (despite all the growth) and I’m still trying to heal all of it.
Also, I recently lost an internal club election — which was providential, because it actually would have sucked up too much of my time. As luck had it, I was running for a post that had unexpectedly been in the spotlight this semester, and I think I lost more because of my decisive stances on certain issues than from any defect of persona (in fact the opponent had given one of the worst speeches I’ve ever seen).
I want to end off on this:
Back on page one, when I had little idea about how anything worked, I essentially manifested not one, but two girls with whom I was instantly in a two-way romantic vibe.
The key word is “manifested”.
I’ve been making a lot of progress with my own internal frame and with setting goals. And of course other kinds of background growth also continue.
I spent much of the weekend languishing. But it was comforting to realize how relatively little of that I’ve been doing lately.
It’s now clearer to me than ever that everything centers on moving out.
I don’t yet have an exact timetable but it had better be by early February at the latest otherwise I don’t know what I’ll do. I think that’s eminently achievable, altho the sooner the better of course.
In a sense things will get more complicated then, however. Right now I’m on a “war footing”, neglecting certain things, focused on controlling stress and maintaining a semblance of stability.
The task facing me once I’ve achieved this long-held dream will be to actualize that achievement and build a new life on new ground, from the ground up.
Well, I’m sure the experience and lessons learned from the past few years will be helpful along the way.
At the same time, I can’t just do what I’ve done before and let things in my parents’ house build up and just stake things on landing on my feet in my new home. I’ve tried that and it didn’t work either time.
This time, though, the focus is on building the bare skeleton of a sustainable baseline while I remain here in this purgatory.
And I am succeeding with this!!
A possible next step is to devote more time to both SC and dating. With the former, ngl I am still stuck in the frames I was raised under, which are frankly almost antisocial and not conducive to solid friendships. All the bros I’ve made since puberty, in fact, are through shared experiences/challenges rather than just “being social”.
That is to say, there is still an element of distance in every single one of my relationships at college. The number one reason, I think, is unwillingness/inability to invest time. And in some ways it may have been easier to handle what I’ve been going through confidently alone (apart from the couple solid guys from before of course).
But now it’s about time that I did something about that. So I’ll do Something About It…
Not to mention that now that I’m on the home stretch of this long journey, I realize that at least in one sense it’s for the best that I’ve done relatively little with girls during the long slog. Up to now.
But now that I almost have one foot in my new home, it’s time to actually go and date for real, intentionally, and make use of whatever I may have learned up to now in order to have some sensual experiences.
It should be pretty straightforward honestly. Unless I get back into cold approach, but I think it’s best to get some results from SC before I do that.
A lot of what I’ve been doing this semester is, frankly, recovering from the chronic damage of the spring. Last fall and spring really did a number on me physically and mentally (despite all the growth) and I’m still trying to heal all of it.
Also, I recently lost an internal club election — which was providential, because it actually would have sucked up too much of my time. As luck had it, I was running for a post that had unexpectedly been in the spotlight this semester, and I think I lost more because of my decisive stances on certain issues than from any defect of persona (in fact the opponent had given one of the worst speeches I’ve ever seen).
I want to end off on this:
Back on page one, when I had little idea about how anything worked, I essentially manifested not one, but two girls with whom I was instantly in a two-way romantic vibe.
The key word is “manifested”.
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2022
- Messages
- 1,055
One class left and there’s a lot left.
I’m going to make it work. I will get an A if it’s the last thing I do.
Gotta get up quite early tomorrow. After that, a long day of work awaits.
Friday will also be intense, but after that I’ll be free to engage in other pursuits such as reorganizing my life, moving out, and seducing girls, in that order.
There must not be another semester like this.
So there won’t be.
Soon the stress will ebb away. And then the opportunities will open up, and great exploits await.
I’m going to make it work. I will get an A if it’s the last thing I do.
Gotta get up quite early tomorrow. After that, a long day of work awaits.
Friday will also be intense, but after that I’ll be free to engage in other pursuits such as reorganizing my life, moving out, and seducing girls, in that order.
There must not be another semester like this.
So there won’t be.
Soon the stress will ebb away. And then the opportunities will open up, and great exploits await.
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2022
- Messages
- 1,055
…and at this critical juncture, I became unable to shut off and sleep.
Worse, it doesn’t seem to be a screen-related thing this time. I just don’t feel relaxed. Even after getting off and other things that usually help.
Sooo I’m gonna try some meditation as that invariably works even if it takes 45-60+ min (which I don’t have to spare but whatever)…
But more importantly…
I was reading Tony D’s GC article on meditation and I decided to do something systematic about it…
At least 5x/week I will spend at least 10 minutes meditating and visualizing about seduction (or visualizing success in other pursuits if I’m busy with those).
Right now, everything revolves around physical and emotional freedom. Soon.
But for the next two days I need to keep speedrunning…
Worse, it doesn’t seem to be a screen-related thing this time. I just don’t feel relaxed. Even after getting off and other things that usually help.
Sooo I’m gonna try some meditation as that invariably works even if it takes 45-60+ min (which I don’t have to spare but whatever)…
But more importantly…
I was reading Tony D’s GC article on meditation and I decided to do something systematic about it…
At least 5x/week I will spend at least 10 minutes meditating and visualizing about seduction (or visualizing success in other pursuits if I’m busy with those).
Right now, everything revolves around physical and emotional freedom. Soon.
But for the next two days I need to keep speedrunning…
