The Ladykiller Chronicles

Kvothe · Mar 10, 2021

Thankfully a more interesting day today. First the good news, I was able to actually perform an approach, attempting a RPO on a stationary girl. And then I tried again. So that's two approaches, with almost no hesitation. Achieved the goals I had set out for myself yesterday.

With that, let's look at how things could have been improved.

Today, I went out in the same dark blue, slim fit jeans, black chelseas, wearing a dark red striped sweater, and a pea coat.

I was excited to try the opener I had in mind:

Hey, I just noticed something fascinating about the city. It feels so vibrant, almost like it's waking up from a long hibernation. Do you feel it?

I think this could be improved. For one, both girls I talked to today assumed I was talking about the weather, which I should have realized would happen given how pleasant the weather was today. I think content wise, it doesn't seem to pace as well, since the intention is regarding the pandemic, but girls think I'm talking about the weather.

Other issues I had were that I was hesitant, fearful in tone, and voice projecting at an octave much higher than a confident man would have. Lots of delivery messups. I also spoke way too fast, missing major pauses in the rush to say what I had to as fast as possible. It wasn't a conversation, it was a recital. It needs to be a conversation. In SMMA-speak, my rust led to poor social frame that caused a knee-jerk negative reaction. I assume the non-directness of the opener led to the lack of a harsher blowout.

Improved RPO:

Hey, I've just noticed something fascinating about the city. Tell me if you've noticed this too, but do you feel the moment... the sun comes back out... it feels as if the entire city just snaps awake. It's almost like everyone suddenly realizes the potential each day has to be amazing again.

Maybe follow up at some point with

Yeah, the gloom always has to go away at some point, and people rediscover the joys of new connections and exploring their passions again.

#1 Sexy dressed black girl

I see this girl as I'm crossing the street. She's dressed really well. I sexy one-piece black romper/suit that ends relatively high on her thigh, revealing an alluring amount of well toned chocolate-colored legs. I notice her standing looking for directions, and then she asks an older chap next to her. I really want to approach her, so I chill on the other side of the street, as I had seen the man point her that direction, and check out my phone, while occasionally scanning (attempting to use peripherals as much as possible), until I see her move. I follow, until we reach a spot where we have to wait for cars. I step in front of her, then glance and pretend to notice her, then fumble the opener I had in mind.

Interaction:

Me: Hey <pause> I've noticed something really amazing about the city recently.
Her: Nods hesitantly
Me: Is it just me, or does it feel like the whole city feels more vibrant, as if the entire city is just waking up.
Her: (Still hesitant) Yeah, it must be the warm weather.
<The streetlight changes, and I start walking first, and continue talking until pausing on the other side. She pauses with me, but I feel like she is not excited, and feels strange to be talking.>

Including more than that would be pointless, as I completely lost track of what I was saying, fumbling to try and continue the conversation in any meaningful way. The truth is, I'm out of practice, and so I just started repeating myself, until I felt so awkward that I exited the conversation.

How to improve this? I've already talked about the opener, so let's focus on other things.

In terms of delivery, I need to be better, more calm, and my voice has to come from my chest. Talking from my head will greatly lower the efficacy of my approaches, by making girls doubt my fundamentals from the get-go. Additionally, I need to improve how I open. I did well on approaching over the shoulder and not orienting towards her, but I lacked sprezzatura in how I opened. I need to think about this more in order to figure out the answer.

#2 Long legged foreign blond girl

I was continuing my walk, aiming to find a vitamin shop to pick up some black maca, when I saw a tall blond girl, with legs for days. Tight fitting black jeans hiding a tight little butt. I had to say hi.

So I turned around, and at one point, she stopped, as if looking for directions. I pretended to be on my phone looking for directions. I need to read more on how to arouse approach invitations, I think that's the part of sprezzatura I'm missing. From listening to the Attention SMMA piece, I think inducing the AI is something that will help a lot here. Current attempt to do so is to walk confidently past where a girl is standing and then glance at my phone. Then say hey after either catching her glance my way from the corner of my eyes, or after sufficient time has passed where she mights start moving if I don't open.

Anyway, I open her the same way as #1, but slightly more coherent.

Me: Hey, you know, I've noticed something amazing recently. The city feels so vibrant, as if it's waking up from a long hibernation. Do you feel that?
Her: (Speaking in an accent) (Not particularly enthused) Yeah, it's probably the weather. (She starts to look back at her phone).
Me: Yeah, even with the pandemic, it feels like people are starting to enjoy life again.
Her: Yeah, people really want to enjoy the weather.
Me: Yeah... Do you have any plans for the evening?
Her: Yeah, I'm meeting some friends. Thanks for asking.
Me: Yeah, no problem. Have a good one

So altogether, not the best, but on day 2, I'll accept mediocrity on a purely rusty basis. But this could have gone so many different ways that it makes me fume. She has an accent, I could have made an assumption about that, and transitioned to something else. I could have probed further about the plans made with friends give us an opportunity to escape the mundane life we currently live, and reminisce about nights spent in enjoyment before. It could transition that to how just meeting the right person on nights like those could turn any kind of night into something amazing.

I could also have used one of Gunwitch's post-Attention points:

You know, you seem different from everyone else around somehow. Are you from someplace else originally?

There are a huge number of possibilities, I just need to be sharper and ready for them when they appear.

There's also a different kind of opener I could try.

Me: Hey, do you know where X landmark is? I just recently came back to the city and seem to have gotten all... turned around.
<She gives response>
Me: Ah... thank you. Hey let me ask you a quick question, is it just me, or does the city feel way more... alive to you recently? More than just... the warm weather. It's as if everyone is starting to wake up to life again... and feel the chance to make new... connections and start... exploring all the enjoyment the world has to offer.

One thing I wonder is if I should introduce myself to girls at this point. I think for now I won't, with the goal of reaching the point where a girl asks for my name, or I grab her number and she asks me then.

One other thing that's nice to know is that these openers seem to work. In that I'm able to get girls stopping and talking to me. This tells me that my issues are a matter of technique, as opposed to a matter of feasibility.

Goal for tomorrow is a little more light. Just 1 stationary approach. The reason for this is mainly that the back of my heel is starting to peel on account of not being used to walking so much. As a result, I'll need to let it recover a little.

Kvothe · Mar 11, 2021

Not very much to report today sadly. I managed tot achieve my goal of one approach, though I fell prey to the fact that she was talking on her phone when I started talking. I knew she had been on her phone, but she had stopped talking for a large period of time, so I walked in front of her and opened. Strangely, she was waiting on me to talk to her, and seemed expectant, but I noticed her still on the phone, and then ejected.

There were two other girls I should have opened. Both were standing on the sidewalk, perfect options to open via RPO. I'm extremely annoyed at myself for not being good, but I have to remember I'm new at it, and it never came naturally for anyone. Everyone who went through this style had to work to avoid the awkwardness, the insecurity, and the fear that I am. The fact that they overcame it signifies that I can too.

TBH I don't have much to expand on the approaches that I haven't in the last two days, but I felt new fears crop up today that I think are worth addressing. If you'll permit me to talk to myself in the second person.

#1 You're just mentally slower than other people who can pull of RPOs and other indirect approaches
Retort: Bullshit. They're not faster thinkers than you, they just have the muscle memory for it in place. Once you have that, you'll be able to respond and come up with openers as well as they do.

#2 You're socially inept
Retort: You've been out of practice for a year. Anyone would have difficulty maintaining a conversation, or keeping their cool under those levels of desperation and scarcity. You'll be fine.

Let's end with a positive. It's been 3 days I've been at it. I have 4 approaches (all indirect) under my belt in that time. I've not been rejected by any of them, I've ejected myself out of all of them. I have some interesting ideas for RPO's, and the only thing preventing my improvement is my own fear and ego. There's so much to explore, and so many beautiful girls that I can meet. The sky's the limit.

Goal for tomorrow is 2+ approaches and 1 hook. Let's get it.

Kvothe · Mar 12, 2021

Today was a solid day. Was able to achieve goals for today, with some extra added on.

I was dressed in the classic bottom attire: dark blue slim fit jeans, and black chelseas. With the warm weather, I wore a simple black t shirt and a gray leather jacket on top. And to finish it off, a white floral print mask, asymmetrically patterned.

Wearing the floral mask, I did notice more girls making eye contact. One thing I realized is that I'm the one breaking eye contact. I need to learn to hold it. This is tougher as it's more knee jerk, and by the time I realize I shouldn't break eye contact, I've already done so.

Some general improvements. I need to do more triangle gazing and sexuality, since I'm not going direct anymore.

One general good note, my orientation has been solid. Talking over the shoulder until I get some investment, then orienting towards her. At the moment I haven't gotten any investment, so I've remained facing forward, but it's still the right thing to do.

I'm going to dive into the girls below:

#1 I really just remember the boobs

Was walking around WSP when I saw a girl walking on the other side of the street. Her outfit was modest, but the fitting was not. She was displaying a amazing bust. I didn't want to cross while she could see me, so I waited until she crossed past me, then pretended to stop and look on my phone for a second before turning around and jaywalking across the street.

I follow her, waiting for a stop. And I keep walking, and keep waiting. For almost 10 blocks. I don't know, but when the amount of walking reaches that much, I worry it does appear that I'm stalking the girl. Girls seem to look behind every once in a while, and she did too, noticing me. I pretended to be on my phone to avoid the appearance of following.

Eventually she does stop, and I use the RPO I've talked about earlier. I walk in front of her, attempting to induce a AI. I'm on my phone keeping an eye out of the corner of my eye, and eventually just go with the "pretend to notice her".

Me: Hey! <Wait for acknowledgement>. I've noticed something really fascinating about the city. Have you ever noticed... how as soon as the sun comes up...
Her: The whole city comes out? <She says this in a very bored, almost annoyed tone>
Me: Yeah, it's crazy right.
Her: <Rolls eyes> yeah

So there are some good parts here, I did not stutter on delivery. Tonality and sensual vibe were very lacking, but that's okay for right now. The main issue with this approach to improve is how can I approach her better. Following for a couple of blocks is risky. She might notice me following, create a negative image of me in her head. She might go into the subway. Or she might just never hit a stop, and my poor legs will have to walk an extra mile and end up somewhere that's not very crowded.

Undoubtedly, this is a problem that needs to be fixed. I remember Bacchus' opening where he walks past her confidently, and then turns to her, and asks a question. That's something I'll put on the goals list for later this week. This week I want it mainly about the stationary approach and getting used to being indirect and opening girls.

#2 Something in me just really desired this girl

White romper pantsuit. I think I have a thing for this specific outfit. It shows off a lot of legs, and if the girl has a beautiful ass, it hints at it and tickles the imagination.

This is where the above issue I mentioned arose again. She definitely saw me following at least 3 times, but also never stopped on the sidewalk at any point. Eventually she got into the subway station and I missed my chance.

The moving street game indirect approach needs to be learned.

#3 The actual successful one

So I saw this girl in the park, and followed her and noticed her sit on a bench. It was about dusk, but still a very pleasant temperature, giving the air an almost sensual vibe. Live music playing. I paused in front of her for a second, looked at my phone, then turned around and sat on the bench next to her.

I actually tried grabbing attention twice, and both times she didn't notice. I finally was able to get her to hear me.

We also were both wearing masks the entire time.

Me: Are you vibing as much as I am right now?
Her: Huh? Oh yeah, it's really nice.
Me: Yeah it is. You know, I've noticed something really... fascinating about the city recently. <Pause to get acknowledgement>. Have you ever noticed... how, as soon as the sun comes out... the entire city seems to snap awake.
Her: Yeah, it's just really nice weather. I love it.
Me: <Takes a second to savor the actual moment in the air>. I'm curious... if I were to ask you what you were most excited for with the warm weather, what would you say?
Her: I think just relaxing and having less time at work
Me: Ah... so you're the type who we'll find out at the beach while everyone else is working.
Her: No no, it's more that my coworkers take it much easier once it's warm. What about you?
Me: Do you remember... back in the good old days... when we'd go out at night... and we could make connections that turn the night amazing? That's what I'm excited for from the weather, the chance to make those connections again.
Her: Yeah, I get that.
Me: So if I were to ask you, what are your favorite things to do besides party, work, and eat, what would you say?
Her: <Laughs when I mention party>. I really love live music. Especially jazz.
Me: <By this point I'm pausing less, because it's less automatic, but am trying to remember to pause> That's a really interesting perspective. Is is the improvisational flavor of the music...
Her: Yeah, the music, going and watching with friends.
...<This part of the conversation is a little fuzzier to me, and I don't recall as much how it went.>
Me: Yeah the vibe of the park was really amazing today, but I need to get going to heat up some food. But you have a really interesting perspective, I'd love to grab drinks with you soon.
Her: Yeah, sure.
Me: Cool, let me grab your number.
<She gives me her number, and introduces herself. In introduce myself.>
Her: You know, I've actually met one Kvothe before. He was... He was a really great person (sounds like a good ex?)
Me: Haha, I'll try to keep the record strong. And you're the first person who spells <their name the way they do>
Her: Yeah, I'm unique
Me: <Unfortunately I rush this part. Should have gone slower> Unique is a good thing. Everyone else out here is so similar, that it's good to break out of that conformity.
Her: Yeah
Me: It's important for all of us to march to the beat of our own drums you know? (Yes I stole this from https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/occhi-blu.24185/#post-129184)
Her: Yeah definitely (I can see a smile in her eyes. This part hit well)
Me: Well it was lovely meeting you.
Her: You too

So that was a number. It went really well. The power of the indirect approach seems really, really high on stationary girls. Girls who are stationary on the sidewalk or waiting for a cross walk, I need more data points. Once I get 20 data points (with strong delivery so I can control for the opener), I'll have a better grasp of how I can improve that.

One thing I was happy about was I was triangle gazing while doing this approach. So I think intent was there, even if it was not verbalized.

But the value in this style on this specific subset of girl cannot be understated. It worked really well, it felt natural. She's older than me, but still attractive enough. Sent a text, we'll see what we get back. I'm not too invested, as she wasn't spectacular.

#4 Leopard print coffee girl

She's wearing leopard print yoga pants. She's got a gigantic ass. She's hot. She's ordering food at a vendor outside, so I go and sit on a bench where I think she'll end up sitting. She does not sit next to me, but stands to the side somewhere. I wait a few, then walk closer to her, looking at my phone as if looking at my map. I notice her glance at me from the corner of my eyes (I need to work on my peripherals, I think it is still the case where it's obvious I'm looking around, but I'm getting better).

Me: Hey! You know... I've noticed something really fascinating recently... Have you ever noticed... how the moment the sun comes back out... and the weather gets warm again... The city just snaps awake?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Yeah, its really nice... <I pause a second, trying to see if she'll bite, but she does not> I'm curious, if I were to ask you what you're most excited for from the warm weather, what would you say?
Her: The warm water?
Me: The warm weather
Her: Oh, I'm just excited for it to be warm again.
Me: Oh that's interesting.
Her:
Me:
Me: Hey, do you know where <bakery> is? I can't seem to find it.
Her: <Club>? I don't know from here
Me: <Laughing> No, not <Club>, <bakery>!
Her: <Laughing> No, I don't know.
Me: Ok, no worries.

So not much from her. But I think I could have tried one more thing to get her to open up. Should have tried adding this at the end, because she did look exotic. Additionally, I really should have focused on triangle gazing and pacing of my words. She seemed relatively free and could have been open had I been better.

You know, you seem different than everyone else in the city somehow. Are you from someplace else originally?

I think doing that could have turned that last approach around.

Ok, so a pretty decent day all around. The AA rust is melting away much faster than I had expected, and I couldn't be happier. Honestly, before the number grab, I was feeling extremely annoyed with the indirect approach. I felt angry that no girl I had opened on the sidewalk was really hooking, and that if I just used a direct opener, that at least I would have chances with the girls I was seeing that I was missing trying to find the right stationary indirect approach method.

I still feel some of that, but it's not fair to the indirect approach style. I've done a total of 7 approaches, and got 1 number. Claiming it doesn't work because I'm rusty, hangry, and screwing up the delivery is disingenuous.

There are some legitimate concerns I have, but I'm going to hold off on asking questions and feedback until I'm able to get a total of 20 indirect stationary approaches done, with good delivery. At that point, it will make sense to try and figure out what might not be working.

Kvothe · Mar 12, 2021

It was a warm spring day. The wind, sun, and heat combined to form an enticing image that winter was on it's merry way. The hint of flowers, new life, and new bonds was strong.

I dressed in a tight fitting blue T shirt (that should look better as I shed more fat). Dark blue jeans and black chelseas. I need to order a belt. On top was my canvas jacket from Guess. I worry there was not enough contrast for the look to actually be interesting and stylish.

I performed 3 approaches today, and the biggest takeaway was that I NEED to practice RPOs on my own. I'm not at a point where I can improv them on the spot. If I attempt to, I start stuttering, which removes all the magic of the meet smooth. It ruined one opportunity today. The other big takeaway is that I really need to work on my eye contact. I'm knee jerk breaking it, but I need to consciously focus to turn off this unconscious reaction. Breaking eye contact ruined what could have been a great interaction.

#1 Springtime

The girl was dressed in bell bottom light blue jeans, with a white spagetti strap top that was moderately revealing. She's walking in front of me and stopped in front of the crosswalk.

Me: Hey <waits for her to react and take out earbuds> I've realized something really fascinating about the city recently. Have you ever noticed how... the moment the sun comes out... and it warms up... the entire city seems to snap awake?
Her: <Enthusiastic> Yeah, I know! I love it so much.
Me: Me too. If I were to ask you... what you were most excited for from the warm weather, what you say?
Her: I don't know. Just that it's warm I guess. <The light changes and we start walking>
Me: So none of the activities that come with being warm?
Her: No. <Still smiling>
Me: So what are you up to right now?
Her: Just going to meet my friend at a coffeshop nearby.
Me: <Starting to fumble over my words> Oh nice, it's the time for that. Someone you haven't seen in a long time?
Her: No I actually see her pretty regularly.
Me: For sure, yeah it's great to be able to do that.
Her: Yeah. So what are you doing? <The tone has shifted, this feels more just a polite response, but not actually interested>
Me: You know how towards the end of the day... when all the stress has piled on... sometimes you just want to go outside, and relax?
Her: Oh yeah, totally.
Me: Yeah, that's what I'm up to. <Notices that the next block is the coffeeshop> Hey, I actually need to make a right here, but you seem super interesting, and I want to talk to you for a bit more.
Her: Oh, actually I have a boyfriend.
Me: Ah okay, no worries. Have a good one.

So rereading this, there were many great opportunities for deep dives that I just didn't take advantage of. I should have expanded on her answer of enjoying the warmth:

Her: I don't know, just that it's warm I guess.
Me: I know how you feel... There's something about feeling the sun's rays slowly caress your body... as you feel yourself become warm and relaxed... to the point where all your stress just... melts away.

The use of weasel words and phrases could really take the above to another level.

I could have done more on when she said she met her friend regularly.

Her: No I actually see her pretty regularly.
Me: It's always great have the comfort of someone... familiar to lean on... So frequently, the new people we meet... happen to be strange, or creepy... Yet we still keep trying to find someone <points to self> who can take us on an adventure and sweep us off our feet.

#2 Saphire eyes

I'm actually really annoyed about this one. She's wearing workout equipment, and a just a little bit on the chubbier side, but her butt looked good in yoga pants. What bites me, is that I caught her staring at me.

She was staring at me.

And I looked away. God damn it.

Instead, I realize my mistake and decide to try approaching anyway. Walking in front of where she's waiting for the cross walk. I pretend to notice her, and then:

Me: Hey. I've noticed something really fascinating about the city recently. Have you ever noticed how... the moment the sun comes back out... and the weather becomes warm... the whole city snaps awake. <Light turns and we walk>
Her: Yeah, it's really nice.
Me: Yeah, I love it. If I were to ask you... what you were most excited for from the warm weather... what would you say?
Her: <While she responds, I try to cut around to get her to stop, as I was trying to pretend to go the other way so she would stop> Oh I like being able to hang out with my friends -
Me: Hey, I actually need to go this direction, but I -
Her: Ok cool, nice talking to you.

Jesus Kvothe... Anyway, there was one absolutely correct choice to do here, that I should have done.

<I notice eye contact, and keep it maintained while walking directly up to her>
Me: Hey, I've realized something really... fascinating about the city. Have you ever noticed... how the moment... the sun comes out... and it starts getting warm... the whole city snaps awake?

Easy, simple, just do it next time. The only other note is it was probably too early to try and stop and talk with me. I should have walked with her in the same direction.

#3 Trying to find the Selas Flower

I was in Union Square, when I noticed a gorgeous girl. Tall, red spagetti strap top, tight fitting revealing the shapes of small, but perky breasts. She's walking towards an outside flower vendor.

On the bright side, I knew exactly what sort of opener I wanted to do. On the negative, I hadn't expected this situation, so hadn't practiced the opener. And like I mentioned earlier, I need to practice all different sorts of RPO's to keep the meet cute vibe there. Stuttering, fumbling over words breaks the magic.

So I pretend to browse the flowers, paying attention to the girl from the corner of my eyes (worth noting that I still occasionally glance in the direction if I'm unsure she's still there. I think this is a result of not well trained peripherals, but I feel this getting better.). Eventually, I end up next to her.

Me: Hey <waits for her to notice me> I've noticed something... have you ever won.. what flowers say about people?
Her: <Just looks at me questioningly>
Me: It's interesting to think about what flowers can signify for the people buying them... Like, a person buying parsley may be the type of person to enjoy spending time indoors, with all the intimacy that brings.
Her: <Nods her head> Yeah
Me: <Warming up now> Versus a person more practical, and more independent, may prefer a cactus.
Her: Yeah, that's definitely an interesting view.
Me: What plant do you think you would like?
Her: <Thinks>
Me: Or rather, if you were decorating your apartment, what plant would you want?
Her: I don't know, I love all the plants. They're all amazing.
Me: What's your favorite kind of flower?
Her: I don't know, they're all kind of great. <Moves slightly so she's obscured by a pole holding up a tent>

Ugh. Such an amazing opportunity. Lost.

How it should have gone.

Me: Hey. I've noticed something really... fascinating. Have you ever wondered... what a person's choice in flower... says about them?
Her: <Responds>
Me: There are so many choices one could make. The rose is a classic... beautiful to look at, but covered in thorns, so that only those that it trusts will be let in to enjoy it's scent... Or maybe a succulent for the practical sort of people... the more independent and marching to the beat of their own drums... Finding the right flower... is like meeting someone new and feeling like you've known each other for years...
Her: <Responds>
Me: <Respond to response> If I were to ask you, what sort of flower would you pick for yourself?

I hate messing amazing moments like these up. I've added practicing RPOs to my accountability sheet which I'm using to track my progress. Today's goal was 2+ approaches and a hook. I got the approaches done, and marked the second goal as yellow, since the spirit of the item was to have longer interactions than just an opener, but I didn't hit the technical definition of hooking.

I feel better today about the indirect approaches on street corners. The first two interactions demonstrate pretty well that the issue is me, not the style. And as the AA drops, I am finding fewer issues with the style too.

I do have some other lingering issues I need to figure out though.

1. When inducing an AI, how do you grab attention while making it appear that you are responding to her, as opposed to you opening her?
2. Similarly, how to do the same, but when pretending to have induced an AI?

The above two questions are the big ones I have after today's session. I don't have an answer at the moment, except for thinking it has something to do with the tonality of the attention grab.

Kvothe · Mar 14, 2021

A cool crisp breeze, but the sun still stays to warm us up. Not to the extent of the past few days, but enough that you can pleasantly sit in the park... and feel the warmth against yourself.

I write this while sporting a massive hangover.

I was dressed in my usual peacoat/dark jeans outfit, with a different grey/metallic sweater on the inside, and a white floral mask on. It was a really fun approaching session, but there were definite improvements that could have been made.

I'd been walking around the park, being innocuous most of the time. Mostly finding a place to sit that's open enough that someone could theoretically sit next to me. Figured I'd try to keep that option open if a girl did want to give me an AI. Didn't happen though. I tried a few times, wandering over and sitting next to a girl, almost immediately to have the girl get up from where she was sitting and leave. My fault? Maybe, I'm not sure, as the girls didn't stay in the park, so maybe just unlucky.

#1 Watching a mixtape be born

I'd been sitting around the park, waiting for an opportunity to approach, when I noticed a girl sitting near an arch. She wasn't wearing a mask, and she had a very cute face.

I sit next to her, and pretend to be absorbed in a person creating what appears to be a rap music track.

Me: Hey <pause while waiting for response> I have to tell you something very important... I'm quite jealous of your choice in... sitting spot... There are a lot of decent places in the park... but your choice feels different. The warmth of the sun beating down on your back... and the music in the ambiance, not too loud to prevent you from thinking...
Her: Yeah, plus the free rap show <gestures to rap dude>
Me: Haha yes, that too. Have you ever noticed how... once the city becomes cold... people try hard to avoid staying indoors... as if fighting nature itself?
Her: Yeah, I've noticed that for sure.
Me: It's like they don't want to give up the opportunity for new experiences...
Her: Yeah, but I'm really excited for it to be warmer.
Me: Yeah I get that... there's something about feeling the sun against your back... as you feel yourself become warm and relaxed... to the point where all your stress... just melts away.
Her: Yeah, so what are you doing?
Me: Have you ever had one of those weeks... where the stress piles on... and you take some time to just... unwind.
Her: Oh yeah.
Me: Yeah, it's been that kind of week for me. I've been setting up a lot of furniture as I recently moved back to the city.
Her: Where from?
Me: Where do I look like I'm from?
Her: I don't know, you're dressed like a New Yorker.
Me: Haha, I'll take that as a compliment.
Her: Maybe Chicago?
Me: I'm actually from California, what about yourself?
Her: I'm from Texas.
Me: Nice, I guess that makes us arch enemies huh?
Her: Haha I guess.
Me: So what are you up to right now?
Her: I'm just waiting for a friend. We're going for brunch.
Me: It's 2PM. I find it fascinating how in the city, brunch can be had at any time of day.
Her: Yeah, I love it.
Me: Is it someone you know well?
Her: Yeah, it's a good friend.
Me: Nice, there's something comforting about having someone... familiar to rely on. So often in the city... we meet people who are weird... or creepy
Her: So true
Me: and yet we keep trying to find someone new... who can take us on an adventure.
Her: Yeah
Me: <Let's it pause for a bit, and feel that she's not been investing as much so pay attention to the rap artist for a few seconds>
Me: You know, I was in Union Square yesterday, and I saw a flower vendor... and I realized something fascinating...
Her: What was it?
Me: Have you ever noticed... what a person's choice in flower... says about them?
Her: No, I've never wondered that <she looks thoughtful/intrigued while saying this>
Me: Like you have the classic rose... beautiful to look at... but covered in thorns... as if protecting itself from letting others get too close... or maybe just so that only the people it trusts can smell its scent... Or maybe a succulent... it's a more hardy plant... but more isolated... maybe it's for the people who are more practical... who are more likely to march to the beat of their own drums...
Her: That is so interesting. I'd never thought of it that way. I'm trying to think of other flowers.
Me: What type of flower?
Her: Maybe a sunflower? But I don't know what that would mean.
Me: Maybe... a sunflower grows very tall... and doesn't care to stand above other flowers... Maybe it's for the people who don't mind being unique... and self improvement oriented
Her: Maybe.
Me: If I were to ask you... what type of plant would you say you are? Or maybe... what plant would you want to decorate your apartment with?
Her: I don't know, I just have succulents, since they're low maintenance.
Me: So I guess that makes you a more practical sort?
Her: Yeah
Me: Ah, I think I need to head out myself... but I think you have a very interesting perspective, and you're the first person I've met interested in flowers... I'd love to grab a drink some time, what do you think?
Her: Um, no thank you. I'm okay.
Me: Haha, no worries, it was great talking with you
Her: You too

A couple of improvements here:

I need to be more conversational. Rereading this, it feels like I'm reciting a bunch of stuff to the girl, instead of hearing what she's saying, and responding back to her.

For instance, when she mentioned the rap artist, I should have gone like this:

Me: Hey <pause while waiting for response> I have to tell you something very important... I'm quite jealous of your choice in... sitting spot... There are a lot of decent places in the park... but your choice feels different. The warmth of the sun beating down on your back... and the music in the ambiance, not too loud to prevent you from thinking...
Her: Yeah, plus the free rap show <gestures to rap dude>
Me: Yeah, there's something... inspiring about seeing someone work towards their passions... Most people might be too afraid to ever do something like that... the trait of... going against the crowd, and letting yourself be liberated to pursue your passions... is rare in the world

Another improvement is where she said she's from Texas, and I called us enemies. I think that does not set a good frame, I should have either reframed it afterwards to an us vs them or just not said it.

Me: I'm actually from California, what about yourself?
Her: I'm from Texas.
Me: Nice, I guess that makes us arch enemies huh?
Her: Haha
Me: I'm just kidding... we can be the first... to let love triumph over hate... deal? <offer handshake>

Honestly I don't like the above, and I'm having a hard time thinking about how to make it better, so it would probably be best to just not say the arch enemies line.

Last improvement is that towards the end, I should have reframed.

Me: I'd love to grab a drink some time, what do you think?
Her: Um, no thank you. I'm okay.
Me: I see. You know, that reminds me of my friend actually. She's a very straightforward, practical person. A little solitary. And many people like her also have another side to themselves, and that part is more hidden away... My friend realized that deep down, a part of her craves the rush of falling in love, and the bliss of a new, exciting connection.

#2 Coffee shop

I noticed this girl walking past me. Very well dressed, absolutely stunning too. I turned around and followed her, hoping she'd make a stop somewhere so I could open. She ends up going into a coffee shop, and I follow. I ask her for the time while inside, and then we get pushed out as the venue is at capacity. I notice her just wait on the outside, so I wait too.

Me: Hey <waits> I've realized something fascinating. Have you ever wondered about the purposes of coffee shops in the city?
Her: <Shakes her head>
Me: There's something very amazing... about entering the coffee shop... and feeling all the scents... and the quiet so that you can do work... while sipping on a nice cup of coffee.
Her: Yeah, this coffee shop is really nice.
Me: Yeah, it is. I've never seen a shop with leather seats before honestly. It seems like it would be a great place to work.
Her: Yeah.
Me: Have you ever noticed how... when the city gets colder... people start spending more time indoors... with the intimacy and cozyness of a house? But they'll still fight to get outside... as if arguing against nature that they want to experience the joy of making a new connection... and be taken on an adventure?
Her: Yeah definitely.

I don't remember a little bit in the middle here, but there was some back and forth before I asked her for her drinks.

Me: I think I'm going to go pick up my mocha, but you have a really interesting perspective, I'd love to grab a drink sometime.
Her: I'm actually sort of seeing someone right now, so I don't think that would be right

Main improvement I need to make here is better vocabulary. The words I use don't paint a picture well. I need to start doing that better.

Yesterday, I had asked these questions to myself:

1. Because it's indirect, going for a number felt more like me chasing. How can I make it less so?

You can read above what I was doing, but it felt as if it immediately put me in a chasing position, so I need a way to rectify that. Where that might come from - making the plan more about me, and making the plan easier to say yes to.

I think I came up with a potential solution for this. I need to suggest grabbing a coffee (afternoon) or a drink (evening) right in the moment, and then if she rejects, tell her we should grab one though. Obviously if she accepts it's a win, as it would be an insta date. From reading getting girls to join you, I realize that this should involve an open loop as well. Like so:

How it would work

Me: You know, I'm feeling in the mood for a mocha right now. I think I know a great cafe near by... Why don't you join me? Coffee only takes a few minutes, and you can tell me more about X along the way...
Her: I can't, I have to go back to work now.
Me: Haha, no worries we'll do it another time. Let's grab drinks though, I think that might be more enjoyable too.
Her: Sure

If she outright rejects the first invitation, I may have to try something more similar to being a charismatic visionary.

Kvothe · Mar 14, 2021

Did 3 approaches today. I also approached very, very well dressed person. I think for me to have gotten more from that, I should have been wearing a blazer as fashionable as her outfit.

I don't think it's worth going into details on the interactions for today, as they were just not particularly good. But I did open one moving set, which I had set as a goal for the day, so that's good.

The main thing that I learned was related to this question I had posed a few days ago:

1. When inducing an AI, how do you grab attention while making it appear that you are responding to her, as opposed to you opening her?
2. Similarly, how to do the same, but when pretending to have induced an AI?

I got some great feedback on how to do this.

The main thing is that I've been going "Hey" then pausing while waiting for acknowledgement before moving forward with the opener. Instead, I should just go straight into it.

"Hey, I've noticed something truly fascinating..."
"Have you ever wondered..."

And just going directly into those. I attempted this on a moving girl, and found it much, much smoother than what I'd been doing previously.

So the short of it is, I should be more judicious with the use of the word "hey" and I'll end up being a lot smoother on the open.

Kvothe · Mar 17, 2021

Yesterday ended up being a moot day. The freezing temperature ended my session before I got an approach in. Ended up reading a bunch of articles on RPO, opening, and hooking.

I need to start adding this in as some curiosity bait:

Me: I've realized something very... fascinating recently... The moment the sun comes out... and the city warms up... everyone just... snaps awake.
Her: Yeah, I've noticed that, crazy.
Me: It's weird, when I decided to move out here, all my friends had warned me about the weather.
Her: It can get quite cold.
Me: I'm still getting used to it.
Her: Where did you come from?
Me: [Pause] Why don't you guess?

Which gives some opportunity for her to start asking questions to me.

Anyway, on to today. Don't really have much to say. The cold weather persisted, but I made a moving approach which fizzled on the open.

#1 Touched by Fire

A red-headed girl in sheer leggings, quite stylish in front of me. I walk past her, eyes forward and using my peripherals. I notice her look at me, and don't immediately turn. Then I start the opener, and she immediately knows I'm talking to her. But she's not excited. And to be honest, my voice was really... not good. It's impossible to expect being good if I don't get the fundamentals like voice down.

Me: Have you ever noticed... <turns to face her over my shoulder>... how our perception of the city is influenced... by the weather?
Her: Oh, yeah I guess <looks surprised>
Me: Yeah, it's interesting. When it's warm... everyone is outside... and making connections... but when it's cold, the vibe changes... and people start trying to deepen existing connections. I'd forgotten how that went.
Her: Yeah, that's an interesting view.
Me: <Pause while hoping for a note of something more from her>
Her: Well nice to talk to you! <Immediately turns the next corner and walks away>

That RPO needs work for starters. Like I said, the biggest issue for me is tonality. I'm too quiet, and too high pitched and not resonant. I'm dealing with some TMJ issues which are causing pain when I open my jaw too wide, but I should still be able to talk from my chest and use the chest and throat resonators. Stupid.

Anyway, I came up with a better version of this opener

Me: Have you ever noticed... <turn to face her>... how our perception of the city is influenced... by the weather?
Her: Yeah, I guess
Me: It's interesting... when it's warm... it's easy to go out with friends, and absorb the energy coursing through the city, making new connections, having crazy adventures... but when it's cold... we start deepening our existing connections... but the desire for adventure is still there... causing us to leave our apartments... even on days as cold as this.
Her: Totally
Me: It's weird, when I moved out here... all of my friends had warned me about the cold.

I think that goes a lot stronger, and connects back to the original thought a little bit as well.

Kvothe · Mar 18, 2021

Honestly, a very, very disappointing day for myself. Even though I achieved my goal of at least two approaches (did 3), the first two were so awful that the girl didn't even notice me. I didn't try again, which I know that I should have. I just didn't.

Started off going to the park, but could not find any stationary girls there, so kept walking around. I'm mostly annoyed by how many good opportunities I missed. On one hand, I was trying to set up the approach to be smoother by trying to predict where the girl would have to stop and trying to get there first, only to have the girl make a turn right where the stop was, and leave me hanging. Honestly I wonder if I'm coming off creepy without even trying. I'm avoiding looking directly at girls, and am focusing on using peripherals, but it still feels like girls know I'm about to talk to them.

Anyway, the actual openers felt mildly better than previous days, except for the fact that the girls didn't realize I was talking to them. One that I actually did approach did give me the opportunity to practice the new RPO I'm working on, but she turned out to not be that attractive from the front (one of the negatives I'm having from using peripherals).

Another good, like I mentioned is an increase in my use of peripherals. Though I still walk rather indecisively (in the sense that I turn around fairly often when I see a cute girl and then start walking trying to catch up, only to see a different cute girl and turn back around, only to end up not approaching, or have her enter some apartment).

I guess today's improvements are be more decisive on the girl, turn around or don't, but make a decision and follow through.

It sucks because my style today was on point.

On the bright side, the weather is warming up. I hate being superstitious, but I always feel better in warmer weather.

The other good thing was my eye contact in terms of holding it was better. This can still be better though. Knee jerk reaction is still to look away.

Current insecurities

#1 I'm not good enough
Response: give it time, learning seduction is not something anyone can pick up in a day, and I'm basically relearning how to approach

#2 There's something wrong with me
Response: see #1

#3 I must just have a creepy vibe
Response: focus on being more decisive. The indecisiveness is most likely the source of any residual creepy/incongruent vibe

#4 I'm going to be stuck in this stage forever
Response: mostly same as #1, except I'm also paying much more attention to the learning process, using journaling to analyze, and try and come up with creative ideas. I also practice my RPOs at home, and am watching useful movie case studies. Like wise people in my life have told me, I have to do the best I can, the rest is up to the universe. But I don't believe deep down I'll be stuck here forever, although the hole is dark, and hope can often think itself stuck forever.

#5 I'm never going to become "sexy"
Response: plenty of hot girls I've gone out with already have thought/stated they thought I was sexy. Stop being dumb.

Watched Vicki Christina Barcelona yesterday. Juan Antonio is amazing. In terms of what I can learn at this stage (not focusing on frames/reframes, because I'm not even consistently getting hooks), his vibe is just so abundant. He really doesn't care whether they say yes or no to joining him in Oviedo. He also is very decisive, completely sure in his actions, without any whispering fears.

Exercise equipment came, so I can start working out again.

Tomorrow is supposed to be rain all day, so I'll likely take an off day, relisten to some SMMA, and practice RPOs/reread theory.

Kvothe · Mar 21, 2021

I think about who I am right now, and I'm not happy with that person. There are strengths to be proud of, but far too many places to improve. The past week has been disappointing to say the least. It was cold, and I had some serious AA, and social commitments and so I didn't approach as much as I wanted to. But I hit a major life milestone recently, and every day I realize that my time on this planet is moving forward, towards an eventual end.

I cannot let myself fail in this endeavor.

I went out today, dressed simply, on account of the warm weather. Clean, white t-shirt, black leather jacket, red/black scarf, dark wash jeans, and black chelseas.

I continue to find standing and moving girls difficult to open. Mostly on account of AA. I also feel that my opener is too long winded for someone on the go, so I've thought of a move abbreviated version, that should be better.

Me: Have you ever noticed, how refreshing it is... to roam the streets after a long night?

The main purpose is to match that a girl is walking, or going somewhere, while matching the good impressions with a relatively true statement for most people.

#1 The fire burns bright

Another red head girl. Sitting on a bench at the park casually. I enter, and stand some distance away, within easy view, but staring at my phone, firing a message to a friend. I pretend to notice a spot on the bench next to her, and go sit there. I play on my phone, talking to a friend, and I feel that the girl has noticed me for sure.

I pull down my mask while sitting down, as hers isn't on, and I think it's easier to realize someone is talking to you without a mask. My voice thankfully is also good today. I've been practicing, and have a slight purr that I've recorded and think sounds better.

Me: Have you ever noticed... how nice it is... to sit in the park, after a long weekend?
Her: Yeah, it's really nice
Me: Yeah, it is... It's quite a contrast from the past week. When I first moved out here from the suburbs... my friends had warned me about the cold... but this weather makes it feel quite worth it
Her: Yeah, I went out with some friends the last few nights. We went out to some bars, and had some brunch, so it wasn't as exciting.
Me: That sounds nice... I don't think I've had a peaceful weekend since I got here... although I only have been here for two.
Her: Where did you come from?
Me: <Pause> Where do you think?
Her: Well, you said suburbs, so Jersey? Massachussets?
Me: I'm actually from California
Her: Which part
Me: The north, where it's nice and warm year round
Her: Why did you come here
Me: Well, I spent the last year in a suburb... and I was ready to start seeing some new faces...
Her: Yeah, I get that, it does seem like the city is becoming back to normal
Me: That's good... I feel like the people have been isolated for a long time now... and people are excited really excited
Her: Yeah
Me: What about you, where you from? You seem like a native new yorker
Her: I'm actually from Jersey
Me: Close enough.

The conversation pauses for a bit here, so I go back to looking at my phone, and then reengage a few minutes later.

Me: You know... I miss the music that usually plays. It gives the park a certain ambiance
Her: I think they might come later? You mean the guy with the saxophone?
Me: I'm not sure. But it gives the park an amazing vibe. Right now is great. You can feel the sun raining down on you, and a cool breeze, but there is some music missing.
Her: Yeah, I agree.
Me: So what brings you to the park today? Just reading?
Her: No, it just seemed like a really nice day, and I wanted to get out.
Me: Same, I think this spot you've picked is really nice...

This above was a little more boring, but I just go back to scrolling on my phone. I got a funny picture from a friend.

Me: My friend just sent me something really funny <wait for her to look my way>. Apparently Miami has put up a state of emergency because the spring breakers are partying too hard
Her: Really? That's funny
Me: I don't know whether I respect them for having fun... or am ashamed for the time period they're doing it <giving both options here since I don't know how she'll react to the news>
Her: Yeah, it's interesting. On one hand I think it's really disrespectful, but on the other, they're all super young, so aren't at risk. So I can see both sides
Me: One thing is for sure, I'm very jealous of them... getting to spend time by the beach... the feeling of the waves against your feet-
Her: I actually don't miss the water that much. The beach is so far from here, and much more quiet.
Me: Yeah, I get that, living that far away, you end up more isolated... which is great for deepening our existing connections... but deep down, I think we all are excited to meet someone... new, and have new adventures
Her: That's an interesting perspective
Me: So are you more of a beach person, or mountains and forest, or city?
Her: I think I like them both. They're just very different

We talk a little more, and then I go to the date invite.

Me: Do you know a good place around here to get coffee?
Her: Um, I'm not sure, I don't know this area that well
Me: Hmm, I guess I'll have to explore then. Want to join me for it?
Her: Uh, I have to wait for a friend actually
Me: No worries, let's take a raincheck, and grab coffee another time instead
Her: Uh, sure
Me: <hands her my phone>
Her: My name's X by the way
Me: I'm Kvothe
Her: Well, it was nice talking to you, enjoy the coffee!
Me: Thanks! I'll talk to you later

So a couple of points I like. I like how I re-engaged, each time with a speaker-centered opener. She hooked pretty well towards the end, and enjoyed some of the more emotion-centered topics. I also liked my voice and pace of speaking, and I did some intermittent triangle gazing.

But the ending was a little worse. It should be smoother, and I should have asked for drinks after the initial rejection. Good learning there. Also should probably have stayed and chatted a little more before bouncing, as it could come across I was just trying to get her number.

Overall, it felt much more "meet cute" than previous approaches I've done.

mirj23 · Mar 21, 2021

That sounded like progress to me. I'm sure parts still need to be optimized, but it sounds like the right direction. Sometimes when I read rpos (I think that's what this would qualify as?) written out they sound awkward/forced/gamey. I think sometimes it's just harder to convey them naturally through text, but I also think they are difficult to get right, so I liked what I saw here. Definitely agreed about the meet-cute feel of it. Excited to see you keep improving.

Kvothe · Mar 22, 2021

That sounded like progress to me. I'm sure parts still need to be optimized, but it sounds like the right direction. Sometimes when I read rpos (I think that's what this would qualify as?) written out they sound awkward/forced/gamey. I think sometimes it's just harder to convey them naturally through text, but I also think they are difficult to get right, so I liked what I saw here. Definitely agreed about the meet-cute feel of it. Excited to see you keep improving.

Forgot to respond to this but thanks for the support @mirj23, appreciate it. They are attempts at RPOs, though I think they still need work on getting the right perception of reality. My conviction while saying them also has to improve for effective delivery.

Currently feeling defeated and self-loathing. I found myself only able to do 1 approach, on a stationary girl, with a shitty RPO.

It's not worth writing the interaction today. It was bad, and felt awful in the moment. My only prescription is that I have to approach more, so that I can actually warm up to the point where things start to feel fun. Until I can do enough approaches in a day to do that, most approaches are going to be trash. 1 or 2 approaches per day is not going to be enough, so I have to start "just doing the approach". I have to keep with the indirect, but this means that the actual choice of RPO is going to become worse, and more scripted, just to give myself less time to back out. I also have to approach within 2 seconds of either passing by a girl as I walk, or within 2 seconds of us both standing by a cross walk.

Going to leave this entry at that, as I find my thoughts dark and unpleasant. I deleted a large whining block of text, but am including this section to allow my future self to look back and reminisce on how shitty I had felt.

Goal: Approach. More.

Kvothe · Mar 24, 2021

In stark contrast to yesterday, today was good. I read through some of Skippy's journal, and realized I was missing something fundamental in my approaches.

I wasn't stopping after the opener. A small, but important thing.

Anyway, today I incorporated a lot of different things, plus an RPO that Skippy wrote in his journal that I liked.

Me: Hey, I've noticed something fascinating recently... Tell me if you've noticed it too, but have you ever thought about how... on days like this... when Spring is first starting... that even the simple act of leaving your house... can feel like a mini-adventure?"

I approached a moving girl with the above, walked past her and turned over the shoulder to deliver. Then I stopped and she stopped with me. Had I actually been fully coherent it could have been an easy number. But I fumbled over my words after that, and found that I failed at maintaining a conversation at all.

All the same, I really needed the validation that I could get a girl excited to talk on a moving sidewalk opener.

So the feeling is good right now, and I'm hoping to keep up the momentum of approaches tomorrow.

Kvothe · Mar 29, 2021

I feel momentum returning, along with the beautiful weather. I have someone staying with me since yesterday, so I expect future approaches and postings to be more erratic for the next two weeks.

Saturday was actually a solid outing for me. I approached two of the most attractive girls I've seen, one hooked, and the other I missed on account of not thinking fast enough/preparing in my head before hand.

I'm dressed in a super nice, casual style. I've lost weight recently, and it's starting to have an impact on my fashion. Less of a gut, more focus on the shoulders and chest. Dark blue slim fit jeans on black chelseas. A stylish black belt. A close fitting white linen dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, and black/silver bracelet on the left wrist. And lastly, a white floral mask, that matches the shirt quite well.

#1 Gorgeous Swedish Girl

I see her exit from the subway. Tall, silver-blonde hair. Wearing a white sun dress. I turn around after she passes me, then walk next to her, and open.

Me: Hey, I've noticed something fascinating <she turns to me>
Her: Sorry?
Me: <Smiling under mask> I've noticed something fascinating recently. I'm not sure if it's just me, or if others notice it too.
Her: <Stops and stands next to me>
Me: Have you ever noticed, on days like this... when the weather warms, and it's the first few days of Spring... how much just leaving your apartment can feel like an adventure?
Her: Yeah, I've totally noticed that, especially when it's like this.
Me: I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way then. <Starts to stutter a bit> It makes you wonder how other cities react... to the incoming warmth. Like, back where I'm from-
Her: Hey, I'm actually running a little late, can we walk this way?
Me: Sure, let's go-so it makes you wonder how other cities react to the warmth.
Her: Mhmm
Me: Like, back where I'm from, people use the time to go play sports with old friends, or go for hikes... but here, people react by going out... meeting new people... making new connections... and having adventures. I really like that about the people here.
Her: Yeah. Where are you from?
Me: <Act like I'm about to answer, then pause> Why don't you guess?
Her: Oh, don't do that to me <smiling/laughing>
Me: Haha how about this, I'll guess for you, then you have to guess for me.
Her: Okay. But I'm probably very easy.
Me: Hmm, based on that, I'd have to say New Jersey, or New York.
Her: Nope. I'm actually Swedish.
Me: Haha, can you believe that was actually my next guess (it actually was my next guess, but still comes across as supplicating after she said the first part)
Her: Haha
Me: Now your turn.
Her: I want to say, Turkey?
Me: That's interesting, no one's ever said that about me before. I'm actually from the US.
Her: Ah, my US geography isn't very good.
Me: It's on the Western US
Her: I don't know...
Me: Try guessing the one US state you know on the West coast
Her: California?
Me: There you go, I knew you'd guess it.
Her: Haha, you're funny
Me: Thank you haha, that's a first

facepalm:, should have just said, "Thank you, I'm touched" or something less self-deprecating)
Her: I actually have to make a right here.
Me: Ah no worries, but you seem super interesting, let's get together again over drinks.
Her: I actually am kind of seeing someone right now.
Me: Ah you break my heart (another :facepalm

Her: I know, but I'm sure you'll find another swedish girl.
Me: Maybe, but I don't know if they'd be like you

Almost didn't want to include the last part, but it represents areas of improvement for me.

In terms of date asking, I need to switch to this:

Me: You seem very interesting... I'd love to finish this conversation another time

I'm not sure whether I should suggest drinks, but I'm going to leave it hanging and let the girl respond to see what she says.

#2 Gorgeous blonde girl

I see her walking. Wearing a black shirt and a white skirt. I can tell she's gorgeous. I want to try stopping her by asking for directions.

Me: Hey, do you know where X is?
Her: No, I don't, do you have it on a map?
Me: Yeah, let me pull it up. <She comes close to my side to look at my phone>. I feel like ever since I moved back I've been getting more lost in the area.
Her: Yeah I get that haha. <Gives directions>
Me: Sweet, thanks.

Now the main issue here was that I didn't follow up well. I could tell from how she sidled up next to me, and from her tone, that she would have been open to talking.

I should have continued into an RPO after she gave me directions by:

Her: <Gives directions>
Me: Thanks, hey, I've noticed something really interesting since coming back, can you tell me if it's just me?

The alternative to the above sequence would have been to just turn around and do a normal RPO opener.

I did one more approach on a sitting down girl, but the girl wasn't particularly interested, so I didn't really try continuing.

Kvothe · Apr 14, 2021

And we're back. After a two week pause due to a guest living with me, I was back out in the field.

It's been raining the last few days, and I've been getting antsy. It was finally warm and sunny again. I put on my black chelseas and my Guess peacoat on a light orange shirt.

I did a total of 3 approaches. Two girls hooked, and I got one girl's number. So far no response, but I'm getting more comfortable on RPOs in different situations. Though I need to work on making them more intuitive to avoid becoming a one-trick pony.

#1 French-American Girl

I see this girl walk past, and turn around. We hit a crosswalk and have to start.

Me: You know, I've noticed something fascinating recently.
Her: Hmm? What?
Me: I've noticed something really fascinating recently.
Her: What is it?
Me: Have you ever noticed, how on days like this, when the cold goes away, and it gets warmer... That just leaving the apartment can feel like an adventure.
Her: Yeah haha
<A bike passes by fast and almost hits her>
Me: Adventures like almost getting hit by a hike.
Her: Haha
Me: It makes you wonder how different cities react to the incoming warmth. Like where I'm from, it's very suburban, and people go out and play sports, and take hikes... While here, they go out, make new connections and have adventures.
Her: Yeah, I get that. Where are you from?
Me: <No pause> Where do you think?
Her: Uhh, I have no idea
Me: I'm from California.
Her: Nice
Me: You seem like you're from somewhere else, you don't seem like a native new yorker.
Her: Oh really? Why do you say that, what makes you think so?
Me: It's in your eyes.
Her: My eyes?
Me: Yeah, they have a different energy behind them than most New Yorkers... Most people look tired and done with everything... You seem like you have an energy and excitement still.
Her: Really?

The conversation here fizzles, and I think part of it was rust and just lack of recent experience with getting past the hook and making interesting, evocative conversation. I've been so focused on getting past initial attention and hooking that I haven't been able to work on post hook conversation. What that will mean is focusing on integrating SOTs.

Girl #2

The girl here wasn't interested off the bat. I think the big things to focus on here were bad form. Soft voice and lack of strong presence.

Girl #3

I see this girl walk out of the subway. She's wearing a dark green shirt that's semi-tight around her form. She's got great looking eyes on dark hair-very icelandic looking.

I tail her for a few blocks, trying to figure out the best time to open. I end up opening while moving, walking past her and beginning the opener.

Me: I've noticed realized something fascinating recently...
Her: Are you talking to me?
Me: Yeah, have you ever noticed... on days like this, when spring starts to end... and the days start getting warmer... that just leaving your apartment can feel like an adventure?
Her: Haha, I'm from <X> so I definitely know that.
Me: Yeah, so you get it... it makes you wonder how different cities react to the incoming warmth.
Her: I think from <X>, because it's so cold, that it's the same as here.
Me: Mhmm, I'm from the suburbs myself, and it's interesting to see the difference between there and here. In the suburbs, people focus on meeting their close friends, playing sports, and going on hikes... versus here, they enjoy going out, making new connections, and having adventures... I really like that about the people here.
Her: Yeah, same.
Me: I'm guessing you're from a suburby area yourself?
Her: Yeah, I'm from a small town outside of <Y city in X state>.
Me: So you probably get exactly what I'm saying. The city is much more exciting, and always feels "on". I love it.
Her: Yeah me too.
<some more conversation>
Me: I actually am heading left here. But I'm enjoying this conversation, we should continue it.
Her: Yeah... okay.
Me: Cool, let me just grab your number. What's your name by the way?
Her: Z
Me: I'm Kvothe.
<She puts in her number>
Me: You know, I used to live nearby here, it was a really residential area, which in NYC is nice, but... is just not why you move out to the city.
Her: Yeah, I guess that's true. But it's nice to be able to sleep.
Me: Haha, that's fair.

After that, we make our farewell. I think it went fairly well actually. The main issue is the same from girl #1. That is to say, a lack of experience with having longer conversations with women, to the point that they become more boring. Focusing on SOTs, and controlling the conversation better will be the main goals. However, I'm still facing AA, so I still want to mainly focus on increasing my numbers and getting my momentum for approaching up. With that said, I'll need to read up on the topics I mentioned above.

Kvothe · Apr 15, 2021

Just one approach today, but was able to do the moving RPO and grab a number. The momentum is coming back, and only a matter of time for me to start reaching new heights.

Today was an overcast day. The type of day where nature seems stuck at a crossroads between remaining dry and launching a heavy downpour. Luckily it was on my side and it remained warm for the evening.

I had walked around for a bit, missing a couple of opportunities. The main issue was just not doing the approach. I overthought and as a result psyched myself out of it. But I was able to make 1 approach.

#1 British girl leaving soon

Saw this girl across the street, wearing a light blue blazer-like skirt, that showed off a lot of leg, and gave suggestions of a cute butt underneath.

Me: Have you ever noticed how on days like this... when it's overcast and cloudy... and it seems like it's about to rain... how much just leaving the apartment can feel like an adventure?
Her: Haha, yeah
Me: It makes me wonder sometimes how different cities react to the incoming change of weather... but you actually seem different than other people around here... Are you from somewhere else originally?
Her: Yeah, I'm actually from the UK
Me: Ah yeah, I could tell actually
Her: Did you hear me talking to myself?
Me: What? Haha no, I can tell from your accent
Her: Oh, okay
Me: Yeah, it's very distinctive. But it does make you wonder how different cities react... Like where I'm from, people hang out with friends, go on hikes, but here... They go out... meet new people, and have new adventures. I really like that about the people here. What part of the UK are you from?
Her: Liverpool (she's got a massive accent btw)
Me: Livermore?
Her: Liverpool
Me: Ah okay, gotchya.
Her: But I was actually spending the last few months in the Caribbean...
Me: Wow, that sounds amazing. Was it like here, where you have to wear a mask?
Her: No, people were all partying like crazy, it was great. But after four months I feel like I really want to go home
Me: Yeah I get that... When I first moved out to here, I remember feeling homesick. I ended up missing my pets the most. Do you have pets?
Her: Yeah, I have a pet
Me: Nice, so you get it. But you know that feeling when you spend lots of time in suburbs, and you get to know all of the same faces, so you end up coming here to meet some new faces.
Her: Definitely. What's your name?
Me: Kvothe
Her: I'm L
Me: Nice to meet you
<Some more talk>
Her: Where do you live?
Me: I actually live a little over that way
Her: What are you up to right now?
Me: You ever have one of those days where you've been working and you just need to take some time and... center yourself?
Her: Yeah, I do
Me: Yeah, so I figured I'd just walk around
Her: Nice.
<Some more conversation>
Her: So what are you doing later?
Me: I'll probably head home soon... But I actually know a really interesting bar nearby
Her: Oh, what is it?
Me: It's called A, it's got a really good chemistry vibe
Her: I have to get my Covid test, since I'm flying back to Liverpool in two days
Me: Ah for sure
<Help give her directions for a little bit>
Me: I've actually got to head back about now, but if you're down, I can show you that bar tomorrow, and we can continue the conversation.
Her: Sure

I think the main thing here was that she was a traveler out here for a few days. She had asked me a bunch of questions of what I was doing, and where I lived. I should have pushed harder for the insta date, that was dumb of me. I focused more on getting the number, which is not going for the prize. I have to push for insta dates whenever possible. Other than that, I'm getting better at hooking on the approach, and the girls seem to be more receptive. I've just got to improve my verbals, and start pushing for success on each approach. The goal is not just to approach, but to get laid.

Play. To. Win.

fog · Apr 15, 2021

Hey, you using gunwitch method?

One observation since you wanna improve your verbals. With british girl leaving soon, my read on it was that she initiated flirting by saying "did you hear me talking to myself?"

However, you did not flirt back and answered logically. From the viewpoint of the 3 keys, you built enough social frame and triggered enough sexual arousal from your fundamentals that she initiated emotional stim. But you went back to social frame...thus moving the interaction backwards.

It would have been best to run the emo stim key.

Thoughts?

Really looking forward to your next FR

Kvothe · Apr 17, 2021

Hey @fog

As always, appreciate the feedback. I'm trying to use SMMA, but I haven't listened to it enough times yet to have it down by heart. Could you expand a little on what you meant for me?

A tease like?

Her: Did you hear me talking to myself?
Me: Of course, though I've been deeply hurt by British girls in the past, you'd probably just use me then throw me away (said with a smirk)
Her: <Laughs>
Me: But actually, you have a different energy in your eyes than most NYC natives... like you still find the small things exciting... You seem like the type to grab life by the horns and thrust yourself into the thick of it.

Kvothe · Apr 18, 2021

Wow.

Today I had the worst approach of my life. A very embarrassing and ego-destroying lesson.

I had seen this girl at a park as she was exiting. She was gorgeous, with an incredibly, mind-defying butt. I had to approach. So I trailed behind and tried to pick the opportune moment to open. I started my opener, and she didn't notice. So I decided to try and walk a little more and try again. I couldn't find a time to approach for the next four blocks, with both of us moving front and back of each other.

I finally tried opening, and before I had even finished, she asked if I'd tried talking to her earlier, and if I was following her. I was completely thrown back by this and panicked, blurting out a false-sounding denial.

Currently feeling disgustingly creepy. I tried to recover by making another approach, but was too spooked to do so.

There are lessons to take away from this. I've fallen victim to too much passivity with trying to approach in the perfect moment. When approaching on the street, I HAVE to approach when I pass by the girl the first time, otherwise she'll notice. She'll notice because I have good style, and because everyone notices people passing by. So I must approach. I have to swing the pendulum to the more pro-active, even at the cost of less good timing (at least when approaching on the street).

I still feel disturbed internally by how obvious and creepy I must have been, but the only thing to do is to try and take the lesson from it.

I listened to SMMA "immersion" yesterday, and came up with the following RPO-rainbow ruse-immersion stack to use.

Me: I've realized something fascinating recently... Have you ever noticed, on days like this... when it's the first days of spring, and the sun, back at last, feels so intoxicating... that just leaving the apartment can feel like an adventure?
Her: <Responds>
Me: I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. It's interesting... because you strike me as the type of girl who doesn't like to be cooped up indoors for long periods of time, though you may from time to time enjoy staying inside to relax and unwind... but when the sun finally comes back, you zip back into the world, and start exploring, making new connections, and having new adventures.
Her: <Responds affirmatively, as everyone likely feels the above>
Me: It's a rare mentality to see in the city. Especially here, with so many people... with social media at the tips of our fingers, finding genuine connection and chemistry is difficult... but when found, can be incredibly... exciting. Do you get what I mean?

I was incapable of doing another approach after the disaster of the day. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'll have to work to implement the lessons to avoid feeling like this again.

fog · Apr 19, 2021

Kvothe said:
Hey @fog

As always, appreciate the feedback. I'm trying to use SMMA, but I haven't listened to it enough times yet to have it down by heart. Could you expand a little on what you meant for me?

A tease like?

Her: Did you hear me talking to myself?
Me: Of course, though I've been deeply hurt by British girls in the past, you'd probably just use me then throw me away (said with a smirk)
Her: <Laughs>
Me: But actually, you have a different energy in your eyes than most NYC natives... like you still find the small things exciting... You seem like the type to grab life by the horns and thrust yourself into the thick of it.

you're on the right track by setting a chase frame to get her amped up

after the laugh i would have asked for compliance since she is receptive - "hey lets move over here real quick so we don't get run over"

for me, in early interaction after the hook girls would ask what i do for work. i tell them im a kindergarten teacher. they have an emotional spike ("awww!!") and then immediately after that i ask for compliance and start running a new key once the compliance is complete

Kvothe · Apr 20, 2021

Only one approach today. Still dealing with fears from yesterday, so I'll focus this entry on other things.

Did my first TRE session yesterday night. I don't know how I feel about it, but I did experience the physical tremors and will continue doing it. Enough people more experienced than me swear by it so I'll trust them that it's a good thing to do consistently and have added it to my list of accountability tracking.

I want to spend the rest of this setting some RPO -> immersion -> SOT compass paths that I can practice over the next few weeks to build up my ability to fluidly switch between options in day game approaching.

RPO
Have you ever noticed... on days like this... when Spring begins... and the sun is back out, almost intoxicating warm... that just leaving the apartment can feel like an adventure?

Sub Topics

Most people being immersed in their phones and difficulty/excitement to make a new connection
Warmth makes people more open, more spontaneous, and more desiring of living in the moment
Anticipation of summer months, and all associated excitements

SOTs

Variety of meeting new people, and the curiosity and anticipation of discovering chemistry
Living in the moment without any fears. Trusting own judgment

I want to spend time over the next few weeks practicing the above compass. Switching between the RPO to the sub topics, down to the SOTs, and improving my ability to respond and react to different possibilities in conversation.

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