Updates:
Seduction is still on the backburner (in that it is not my prime focus and consuming every waking hour of my day, hence the less frequent updates) but I have still been going out (besides today, it's Friday night right now - I got a bad cold this morning also found out one of my best friends died in a head on collision which I found out about Wednesday, so I am having a quite night in because I am not in the right headspace). Still having trouble reconciling that it happened and it shows you just how fragile life is. I used to go out with this friend quite a lot, he used to get a lot of attention from girls I wanted which used to make me envious, slept with a lot and had a constant stream of girlfriends in the short couple of years I'd known him. It seemed like he had finally found the girl he was going to marry and have kids with (another one of my friends). I was kind of envious that he had reached this "next stage of life" it seemed, had had his fun and was now content. And then this happened, and his whole future was snatched away from him. I'm kind of numb to it now but the funeral is going to be terrible and I feel the reality of what happened will set in then.
As difficult as it has been, life must go on. Tomorrow I've got a friends wedding, but I will be back at it full swing next weekend. Important to note that because of the work I put in previously, it seems like (daygame in particular) is a natural thing that is a fixture of my life now, as opposed to simply a phase.
Field reports from last weekend:
Friday 7/5/21:
Met up a the first venue with a wing who was there with a girl he had been sleeping with - he had stopped sleeping with her and brought her out with the intention of hooking her up with a guy since she was shy around guys. We had fun just pointing out who we would and wouldn't fuck, then started approaching. Immediately my wing pointed out that when I tapped girls on the arm and motioned them over, I was doing it pretty feebly,
so from then on I was more aggressive and it worked it getting the girls attention. I approached quite a few sets and was persistent with them. One in particular was a two set sitting down - the one on the far end with massive tits (T) asked me my name - which was a good sign. I felt the situation starting to get awkward so I ejected, before finding them again on the dance floor. I approached T and she came to dance right in front of me, and I grabbed her waist to dance, putting my face up right next to hers. No makeout though. My wing was dealing with her friend, but apparently they got insulted by his assumption that they were nurses (they were engineering students) that she grabbed her friend dancing with me and they walked away. I reengaged them later but the vibe was off - and the other friend said they weren't actually offended by the nurses comment - so not sure what happened here. My wing and I found them even later and I weakly went to reengage (even my wing has looking at me like WTF) - reason is I wasn't confident because the vibe was off. The other friend angrily said "We're going to the dance floor" and took T away. I approached another two set of pretty hot blondes sitting down, ejected again and I'm pretty sure I heard one of them saying "he was hot" as I was walking away. Don't know why I didn't reengage - could be because my wing told me
"why do you always look so depressed when you approach" which threw me off and put me in a bad state. There is a pattern here though and I'm going to go into it later.
We decided to switch venues, and in the line ran into a girl we had met a few weeks ago through a friends sister (this was the friend of mine who died, but I didn't know it at the time. Little did I know this was the day he died but I didn't find out until Wednesday). She was with some random dude. Don't think I detailed that outing in my journal but basically I ran into "friends sister" randomly at the bar while waiting for the same wing I was out with tonight and she was with this girl. Objectively this girl is like a 10 - the classic instagram hot type. But for some reason she doesn't do it too much for me, I'm more a fan of the natural look. I'll call her HBInsta from now on.
Last time we met HBInsta was acting all aloof and ignoring us (though I could tell she was still giving us IOIs, especially my wing). But this time around she was a lot friendlier - it was actually her who recognized us in the line and we actually didn't recognize her until she reminded us of where we had met - maybe this boosted her attraction for us as well. "How could they forget ME?".
Here's where things get pretty funny - there was a very attractive girl (HBBlonde) staring at me hard from further back in the line - I take this as an IOI and open her strongly by pointing directly at her, and saying "you, what's your name?". She giggled and answered, then started giving us advice for getting into the venue since apparently they were pretty strict with not letting guys in. She pointed to HBInsta and said "use her, she's gorgeous, she'll get you in".
We get inside, where me, my wing, HBInsta and the dude she was with sit down. I go to the bathroom with my wing and we discussed strategy. I said he can have dibs on HBInsta since she was giving him more IOIs a couple weeks back and I wasn't that into her anyway, and then said I would go for HBBlonde. Solid plan, right??
We left the bathroom, my wing went back to the booth and I got a drink which is where I ran into HBBlonde. She is chatting to the attractive bartender and telling her how hot she is. I should have realized here. I start engaging her in conversation before she drops this bombshell "I should let you know, I'm actually gay".
....
This is not the first time that I've been stared down hard and approached only for the girl to be gay. What gives? I return to the booth and start talking about what happened, when HBInsta suddenly perked up.
HBInsta: "Wait a minute, she's gay?"
Me: "Yeah"
HBInsta: "I'm bi. She was hot".
She had a hungry look on her face. My wing and I just looked eachother - we couldn't believe this was happening.
I don't know how it happened but HBBlonde and her friends ended up at our booth - within 20 minutes her and HBInsta were fiercely making out next to us. We couldn't help but laugh.
My wing and I decided to go do some approaches. Got up, where I locked eyes with a cute blonde - I went in and told her that her eyes drew me in. I sat down, my friend sat next to her friend (who I found hotter but oh well, in the heat of the moment this was the easier approach). We sat, chatted and flirted for a while, I was getting closer and closer. Isolated to the bar for a drink and then went in for a quick kiss. Here she started saying weird shit like asking me what my parents were like, telling me what her parents were like and then saying she wondered if they would get along with eachother. Weird and clingy.
We got back to the booth - I got her number while we were on a high point. She said more weird stuff like "If I accidently get pregnant, I'm having the baby" which weirded me out, but I still wanted to see how far I could get. I then used the "Do you like people watching" routine (still haven't developed a proper gambit for it" to sexualize the convo. It worked well and before long we were making out, but she pulled away. "I don't like PDAs".
In the meantime her friend had left and my wing was still sitting there, talking to another very attractive blonde with glasses who had approached him. They started making out heavily and I was kind of envious given the objections mine was giving me.
I attempted to isolate again. "Let's go find somewhere quieter" but got the friend objection. "I can't leave my friend". I dropped the ball here and wasn't persistent - I don't remember exactly how it happened but she left and I didn't see her again.
My wing ended up going home with that blonde with glasses. I made a few more half assed approaches. "Feeble" as my wing would put it, and then sat down. HBInsta came and found me, and asked for my instagram. We got to chatting and I found out her and HBBlonde had gone to the bathroom together for some fun times which was pretty hilarious. I then left around 3:00am.
Saturday night (Peacocking to the extreme) 8/5/21:
Now this was interesting. I had my housemates disco lawn bowls birthday party on all day, and we decided to hit the town later. The day before, I hired an outfit - White platform shoes, a blue silk shirt unbuttoned to my stomach, black disco pants, a long star necklace, sunglasses and the star of the show, a great big fake afro. It looked kind of like
this. The ladies at the rental store loved it and were taking photos of me, and a cute girl who was there trying on a medieval outfit told me how good it looked. Weird because I thought it looked a bit tacky.
On Saturday we went to lawn bowls and the old ladies kept complimenting me on it. But the good stuff came later when we went to the clubs. The amount of times I got stopped by cute girls who opened with "I love you" was ridiculous. Girls were open and friendly, a lot called me handsome and cute, even the ones who looked icy cold cracked a smile and made eye contact when they saw me. Standing in line a very attractive petite brunette turned around, told me "you look really good" very matter of factly and then turned back around to her friends. Randoms were telling me how jacked I was (I'm not that jacked, the shirt fit really well though) and one girl asked to feel my chest and said I was just sexy. She was with a group. So many people came up to me asking for photos and complimenting the fro, girls were offering me e-cigs and gum. A very pretty girl who looked like she was 15 came up to dance with me and was telling me how beautiful and gorgeous I was. She was dancing with another guy but periodically left him to dance with me.
Despite all this attention, I couldn't escalate and didn't make out or pull anyone. I was not used to so much attention and sort of got a bit in my head and also, because all eyes were on me, I was afraid of making a move, getting rejected and then having everyone see it and have everything come crashing down.
Even towards the end of the night people were still friendly, but I ended up going home alone and felt like the biggest loser, having had all this attention and not being able to pull with it. I know reactions do not equal results but I feel like with a few small tweaks the night could have been completely different and I could have been banging a hot broad as afro man.
I talked to Tony D about this and he suggested something very simple - I was so afraid of being rejected for physical advances, that I could have simply leaned in and asked some of the girls who were dancing with me with a cocky smile - "Do you want to kiss me?" or "I'm trying so hard not to kiss you right now" - which would have allowed me to save face if she rejected me. From there it would have been much easier to escalate.
It was an eye opening experience - so this is what it's like to be a hot girl, celebrity or an extremely tall dude on a night out. I know peacocking is important but holy shit, I want to chase that feeling again but I'm not sure how without going to extremes. I already have some jewellery on the way and and hat that I can wear, just to give the girls something to open me with or grab onto to give me more opportunities, but a small part of me is kind of sad that, bar dressing up like that again, I will never experience extreme attention like that again, even with other items to peacock.
Main takeways from both nights:
The main thing I need to do is just to be more damn sexually aggressive with these girls. Physically I am acting quite feeble and platonic. As soon as you sniff that a girl likes you go in aggressively to escalate and risk losing her.
Strawberry:
I've slept with her twice more since the last update, but have had issues getting hard. Conscious of things becoming boring so have brought out "Sex God Method" for a reread. Last time I used dirty talk to make her cum, saying things like "you've been waiting for this for a while haven't you?" which she responded "yes" to breathlessly. Then I was telling her that I was too, that I've been waiting to put this cock inside her, and that she is going to cum.
I was upfront with her last time about the fact that I wanted to keep things quite casual and meet up at most twice a week and she agreed which is great.
She messaged me immediately after finding out about my friend from a facebook post I put up. It felt nice having that support, she is a good egg. Just amazes me that this would not be happening if I wasn't able to give her orgasms. It just seems so bizarre and it is surefire evidence that my quality of life is just so much poorer than it could have otherwise been just because of my struggles to give women great sex and orgasms over the last couple of years. When you put it that way life just seems so bizarre.
This is a good sign that things are changing but I've learned that the path is not linear. Just like what happened to my friend, the rug can be pulled out from you at any moment so all you can do is make the most of the present moment, do what you can and let the chips fall where they fall.
