I mean, you're right, and I feel like I'm aware of the points you made. Like, I could have told you I'm definitely not right to whatever extent on the inside. I don't really know how to proceed. It feels like an even bigger project than seduction and without any clear map on how to rewire the brain.
Yeah I know the feeling of that being an overwhelming task. Its kind of like when you pull your christmas decorations down and all the lights are tangled in a birdsnest and you have to figure out how to unravel the impossible looking thing. But just like you unravel christmas lights one thread at a time so do you do the same with your mental game. Once you start making progress it gets much easier as with the lights example as well, until you get to the point its pretty much done and you have built new neuropathway's to replace the old ones.
My bootcamp instructor called this "replacing your bitch ass neuropathway's with gangster neuropathway's" XD
To be fair you're already well underway in this process. Compare where you were at mentally today with where you were 2 years ago. I'm sure there's a pretty big disparity between the two no?
You just have a bit further left to go still and maybe if I can shed a bit of light on the right path forward you'll be able to feel like you can make ground much quicker. (No promises remember my advice is probably worth what you pay for it ;p
Before I go more into the practical "how to", perhaps I'll elaborate on the benefits briefly. Friends and women in my life often remark at how capable and unfazed I seem when I encounter hard or challenging situations that throw most people for loop. Women especially find this an attractive trait. Where boyfriends of their past may have reacted by getting upset or needing a shoulder to mourn on I simply just roll confidently forward despite setbacks and tribulations. When things/situations that faze most people don't faze you others view you as the one who is in control and knows what to do. Its seen as powerful and shows strong leadership.
Every girl wants a man who isn't deterred by adversity and always knows the best path forward.
Is there some sort of step by step resource that you recommend or are aware of?
No I don't. Chase's articles on depression and anxiety are good. But you don't need a step by step resource as much as to just be aware and proactively choose your thought processes rather than have your thought processes be chosen for you.
It's a bit of a few aspects all into one.
Mental Toughness and Resilliency
This is taking the attitude of "I can handle whatever comes up and every challenge is an opportunity for growth. I need pain and adversity in order to become my best self. Let me find a way to use this situation for my benefit" Again I highly recommend reading stories of great men that have endured and overcome much more adversity than you've ever faced. (Check out those book recommendations I mentioned.)
When you read stories of great men that have endured and overcome wwaaaayyy larger challenges than what you face you say "wow thats incredible they can handle that??!! I'm such a pussy in comparison complaining or feeling bummed about my situation. Shoot I can totally handle this little measly challenge!" Also in these books you'll pick up how these men mentally react to setbacks and adversity. Seek to emulate those reactions/thought processes in yourself.
A good way to build this in a practical manner is by making a habit of putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and pain. For the first few years getting into pickup I used exercise not just to get into shape and look good but also build mental toughness. I was always trying to come up with hardcore workouts just to push my inner bitch to shrink just a little bit more. For a while every set I did was to failure... and then I'd immediately pickup a lighter weight and do that set to failure... and then a lighter weight. No breaks.
I hated running so I'd make myself do sprints up and down the road or run a 5K randomly.
Wake up early and take cold showers. Give up eating dessert and comfort food. Work hard 14+ hour days. Deactivate your bullshit social media apps and online BS distractions that waste your life.
I'd go up and approach the toughest sets in daygame (such as a girl walking on her phone in a hurry) and nightgame (I had a habit of approaching girls who were at the bar with another guy and interrupt their conversation and start hitting on the girl).
I'd go do an array of absolutely ridiculous social freedom exercises such walk up to some random person at walmart and take their grocery items out of their cart and put it into mine and say "ah thanks I'd been looking everywhere for those".(I'd of course return their items with a smile). Or going into Best Buy and haggling for 30 minutes with a sales clerk to get $100 off a TV and then walking out once they came down on their price.
After doing some ridiculous stunts like that how could I possibly be affected by any rejection that might come my way at the club?
Practiced Positivity
The second aspect of this is reframing bad situations as positive. This takes training but can be done.
When I first got into self-development I was an entirely a negative person. I always saw the bad in things happening to me and reasons why I couldn't get ahead.
My first introduction to self help was a book by Andy Andrews called "The Travelers Gift" (highly recommended. actually this book inspired me to write an article for GC that Chase was kind enough to publish entitled:
7 Decisions All Successful Seducers Make.) Anyway the book tells the story of a man going through the worst time in his life and interpretting everything as bad. Throughout the book the hero meets 7 people who each teach the man a decision that he must make in order to pull himself out of his fucked up life. One of the decisions is "choose to be grateful/happy" and talks about how you have the choice to choose your thoughts and stay away from the quicksands of negativity and choose think in a way that is forward moving, looking for solutions rather than focusing on problems, and see abundance rather than scarcity.
After reading this book I went on a crusade to entirely change my thinking to match similar to how the books outlines. I put a rubber band around my wrist and patrolled my mind with a watchful and constant eye to stomp out negativity.
Every time I caught myself having negative thoughts or reacting to situations in a bummed out or depressed way I'd snap that rubber band as hard as I could and replace that negative thought sequence by choosing a positive, more empowered thought sequence.
It didn't mean I'd actually feel less depressed or negative but I'd successfully stopped the negative thought loop from taking over. Over time of doing this process for about 7 months (I got rid of the rubber band after about a month or so but continued the discipline) I'd had completely reversed and trained my brain so that every little setback or nuisance I'd encounter I'd out of habit/training instantly see the situation as a positive.
I.e. Girl rejects me --> "Phew wow. Haha I kooked that one. Man I've got quite a set of balls on me to try that in broad day light. Fuck yeah just got my first approach out of the way. OK time to get serious. Now that I'm warmed up this next approach will go good. Lets see here."
Car gets towed after a long day at work --> "Ouch fuck.... Well I guess statistically bad things are bound to happen from time to time in an unfair imprefect world. Looks like I'm walking home to tonight." (proceed to sing a song about how fucked my life is until I start laughing and get over it)
Work my ass off to get into a prestigious collegiate program and get denied --> "Man that's too bad. But I knew going in there was no guarantee and I wasn't as good enough to beat the competition. This is my fault. If I would've just cut 2 hours of sleep out for the last week to work on my presentation and interview skills I probably could've gotten in. Fuck it that was a practice run. I'm reapplying for next semester and going through that whole process again. They'll know Im the most serious candidate that;s ever applied."
Thinking Forward Rather Than Backward
Most people when they encounter setbacks their mind shuts off and all they see is their hardwork and "what could've been". Extraordinary people encounter a setback and their mind fires up with creative solutions to overcome it (because they know their goal is certain and aren;t going to let anything stop their forward progression.)
For you when the shut down occurred your leads all dried up and you started feeling depressed because you couldn't go out and talk to girls anymore to continue your progress that you were oh so close to achieving. Then your brain shut down and you (for the moment) accepted defeat. (Loser effect kicks in, Testosterone declines, and depression ramps up).
What if instead you saw the shutdown as just a mere change of circumstance and thought "OK this sucks but Im not going to let this stop me from making progress on my goals... Lets see what opportunities can I exploit to practice seduction on actual girls. Well all these girls are locked up and bored and horny as can be. Thats an opportunity! OK I live in the most insanely connected age ever with internet and cell phones. That;s awesome! There's got to be a way I can make this work???"
Want to hear 4 creative solutions I just thought up off the top of my head?
1. Sign up for the premium of the best chatroullete site and practice Alek Rolstads sex talk to make girls horny and try and get them to show me their tits
2. Pay for the cheapest call service with lives girls that dirty talk on the other line and tell them to act normal and let you seduce them and try to lead her through a compliance loop that gets her masturbating on the other side of the line while YOU talk dirty to her
3. Sign up and do
Lockdown Coaching With GirlsChase (where you actually go on virtual dates and do approaches on hot live models and practice a variety of GC tech all the while getting custom feedback from one of our GirlsChase coaches)
4. Call into American customer service lines at hip young millenial companies and pose as a customer with a few questions but try and take the convo more connection/sexual and see if you can get her to do a skype call with you when she gets off work (I used to have a friend in sales who'd always throw away any lead that had an attractive sounding girl on the other line to try and seduce her into doing a skype call for personal)
Sure its not as good as the real thing but successful and mentally strong people persist
without exception. (Read "The Travelers Gift" for more on that). Like a good marine you adapt and overcome in the most resourceful way you can.
Wrapping Up
Moving forward I gave you a lot to chew on here but its really not as much as I wrote and made it out to be (I'm a bit verbose tonight)
The main thing this all boils down to is the following:
1. Read books of great men who have endured/overcome WAY more than you + books on mental toughness/positivity (I gave you like 8+ total now. All books that are 8/10 or better). --> Seek to replicate their thought processes and reaction to adversity.
2. Make a habit out of putting yourself in uncomfortable/painful situations.
3. Become aware of negative/unproductive thought loops and replace by forcing yourself to think of a more positive optimistic way of reframing the interpretation of that event. (This point is probably the most important actually) (read Chase's article on depression for more on this technique)
4. Train your brain in any setback or nuisance you encounter to immediately start coming up with solutions to overcome the challenge
5. Accept that life is hard and unfair. Accept the fact that statistically speaking some fucked up shit is going to happen to you at some point. Don;t be surprised when shit does happen and just "handle it anyway".
Follow these steps and I think in no time you'll be leaps and bounds ahead of most ordinary people out there.
It takes some serious grit, will power, and discipline to reach a level where it becomes automatic but with some persistence it can be achieved.
Don't expect to be perfect at it, just seek to improve and do 10% better than where your currently at. Even if you just improved this area by 25% you'll see it bleed over into everything you do.
I can't tell you how important and vital having a strong mind has done for me over the years. One of the best investments of time and goals I'm most proud of looking back on it.
With this strong mental foundation is has allowed me to succeed and overcome so much that most ordinary people would've thrown the towel in on. To ordinary people on the outside you seem like to have a super hero like ability that men and women alike will praise you for and look to you for guidance.
It allowed me to go through painfully slow learning curve in seduction and enjoy every step of the journey as long as I was able to make even just microscopic improvements.
But most importantly it was the most necessary preparation for becoming sick, disabled, and seeing my life crumble before my eyes. Most people that get ME/CFS lose their brains (just browse through the many posts of desperation and loss of hope on the CFS reddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/cfs/). This mental fortitude has allowed me being 70% bedbound over the past 4.5 years to hold onto hope, stay out of the pits of depression, and develop a strong plan to move forward and eventually succeed despite these heavy limitations.
Again I'll reiterate. This year my dick started to actually work for the first time really since 2016 and on a one of my good day I could roll out and go pickup some girls after having not been laid since July 2017. I was so excited to go out to the beach and touch and flirt with hot girls, you have no idea!!! Then coronavirus hit and even though where I live the beaches have opened back up I probably won;t be able to go socialize for another 12 months until a vaccine is developed since I'm immune compromised and can't risk getting this stupid virus.
That would cause depression in any ordinary person. Me? Well I've gone this long whats another year. There's guys serving life in solitary confinement that will never see a woman the rest of their lives. I can wait another year. Actually Im glad the coronavirus hit because now I have ZERO distractions from working on my business and career. Perfect I'm a winner.
I think if this is something that appeals to you Elder Price that you could easily get to a similar point. Youre already half way there you just need a little change in perspective to get you over the hump.
But do try this out and keep in mind when writing in your journal moving forward. You don;t need to be perfect or feel like you cant ever vent if your frustrated (though challenge yourself not to). Just try to become more aware and once you do you'll start naturally seeing how you can change this and flip things around so you build an indominitable winner effect that skyrockets you past roadblocks and to your goals.
Cheers and here's to overcoming those setbacks,
-Rob
