I actually realized that those three approaches I was counting as part of my total for this week were actually from last week - so I reset the count and set out to do 10 this weekend.
Got out two unremarkable approaches in my neighborhood yesterday while running errands, so I had to do eight today. It was a sunny December day, colder (5-10 degrees C). Went out in the afternoon.
First I did a small loop in my local neighborhood and found it more or less deserted, so I knew I had to change my location to achieve the higher volume needed to get to 8 approaches. Got on the metro and went to the starting location of one of my favorite routes in the city. A little higher volume, but still sparse compared to how it normally is pre-COVID or even during the summer in 2020. I had to walk longer than usual to find sets.
Changes: Opening direct like always, but I am now throwing in a little statement right after the open but before the stack -"you seem like someone I would like to get to know, at first glance at least - I am not completely sure yet". This is meant to let the girl know I am not completely sold on her yet.
1.) Opened a girl as she was walking in my direction. She listened to my sales pitch and I could tell she was smiling under mask. She was however doing none of the work to carry a conversation - I must have stacked 4-5 times, then saw she wasnt hooking or doing anything (but staying in the interaction) so I tried to close anyway. She refused the close and wouldn't budge after I persisted, so I let her go.
2.) Very similar interaction as the first, boyfriend objection and refused close.
3.) Blowout, she didn't even stop to talk
4.) Cute friendly girl that listened again to my sales pitch but had the boyfriend objection and refused close, so similar to the previous ones.
5.) Girl walking in the opposite direction as me, she had good style, long blonde hair, and I could tell she was attractive even though she was wearing a mask and hat. Caught up to her and opened her as she was conveniently stopped at a stoplight.
This was the best interaction of the afternoon. When I opened her she stopped and didn't bother trying to cross the street anymore even after the light changed- so she was completely engaged with me. Here the extra statement I threw in actually did something as well:
Científico: you seem like someone I would like to get to know, at first glance at least - I am not completely sure yet
Girl: That is very good. I could be an axe murderer for all you know.
Científico: Or you could be trying to steal my kidneys and sell them in central america.
Girl: How did you figure out my plan!?
So this turned into a small roleplay. Could have run with this further but didn't know how (need to think about this for next time), so I transitioned to one of my usual stacks about her working for the CIA, then into where she is from and she hooks and asks me where I am from.
I need to start recording my sets again, because I don't remember exactly how the conversation went after this. Eventually I tried to close, and she said she isnt dating right now because she just broke up with her boyfriend of five years. Then we ended up talking about male/female interactions and past relationships for a time. I must have tried to close 1-2 more times (with her refusing) and before she finally agreed to give me her facebook. She looked quite good in her picture, a very cute girl under her mask and hat as I suspected.
We talked some more about social media and masks and society. I asked her what she thought about how masks are affecting society psychologically - talked about how I believe they are closing off a lot of people to each other, and pointed out I dont even know what she looks like yet. She says her facebook already revealed what she looked like, and I counter by telling her it could be photoshopped "like all those girls on Tinder". Eventually the conversation reaches a slight dull point and I know it's likely past-time to end it, so we separate.
This was a good one but by no means great. My multiple close attempts really set a chasey, "I'm trying to pick you up" frame that is not likely to be super attractive to her. She still hasn't even accepted my friend request so chances are low this will turn into anything. Still, it has given me some things to think about.
6.) Very cute Lebanese girl that had just sat at a bench - I actually guessed correctly when I did my geography stack, and she was impressed. But she did not hook. Tried to close after 1-2 more stacks with her not hooking, using my "beer girl or wine girl" close. She says "I know what you are trying to do" and here I should have problably played dumb and teased her, instead I just proceed with the close like normal. She does the "let me get your number" BS, to which I respond with the normal "It's my job to lead, your job to resist" line. She says "ok, I'm not interested". I eject.
7.) Bolivian girl. Transitioned to spanish but she seemed to prefer English. She was doing no work to carry the conversation and there was no hook. "I have boyfriend" Objection when I tried to close. Didnt respond to persistence.
8.) Young, blonde girl. Just like above, no hook, refused close.
Thoughts:
- Out of the ten interactions, only one really hooked and closed (and only because of persistence). This is much lower than my average, but I've come to expect these kinds of variations as normal. Sometimes I have crazy days where I close over 50% of the interactions, and sometimes its 0%. Daygame has a high variance that any daygamer should accept as normal.
- Very tough low volume right now with the masks, and winter weather. Have to walk around quite a lot, and travel to different locations, to find sets. The entire session took 4 hours just to get 8 approaches in, highlighting how Daygame is a low throughput strategy ESPECIALLY right now. Thus why my 10 approach goal is reasonable to me right now, perhaps until after this COVID Winter. I wish cold approach were my full time job but it is not.
- Going off on the above point, I do believe the dating app/social media game advocates are partially right. While cold approach is fun and absolutely worth doing (because of the quality of the leads it generates), it cannot be the only way for a male to meet and retain females. It is just too low throughput. Think of sales - what company wouldn't leverage the power of social media and internet to find and retain leads? Not one that wants to survive in the marketplace. Thus why I'm working on my fitness and photography right now. Cold approach, as well as dating app leads that go dead could be reactivated with a good instagram or facebook.
- I need to start recording and analyzing my sets again. I don't know if I can turn around these low investment conversations where the girl doesn't hook, but at least the long exchange with girl #5 would have some nuggets there for improvement when the girl is engaged like that but not completely sold. I still need to develop more solid routines, ideally involving the girl qualifying herself to me a bit before I close. Maybe even experiment with indirect once in a while, as much as I dislike it.
- Blowouts are quite rare for me these days, probably because I make eye contact, have a loud voice, and approach with confidence. The girl has no choice but to stop and listen.
- Reasonable goal setting works. I got my 10 approaches done because that was the promise I made to myself, even though it took the entire afternoon. Any daygame practitioner needs to set goals, for the day, week, month, etc.
- There is another clear benefit to daygame - it aligns with my fitness goals. According to cronometer, I burned over 400 calories just walking around this afternoon.
