Nueva década, nueva vida

[Científico]

I hung out with the Bulgarian today, and we got vegan junk food and I had a drink. Brewpub with an outdoor patio space. It was cold but not horrible. I haven't had a drink in months. The beer was heavy, over 12% alcohol.

The whole thing was planned. I was going to have a day where I would eat out at a restaurant, and definitely consume more calories than I need. And allow myself one drink.

The conversation with her was fun as always, but was a bit weird towards the end. She seemed closed off a bit and wouldn't go back with me to my place. I'm not even sure I see much of a FWB relationship continuing. My attraction for her is waning for sure. Thus I'm less affectionate towards her and she probably misses that.

Was it worth it? Not really. I'm done with these "cheat" days. Not going to stop until I get exactly the body fat % I want.

 

[Científico]

"Cheat meals" have consequences

After the vegan junk food and the beer I had last night with the Bulgarian, I checked the scale this morning and found I had gained a full two points overnight. This was weight I had steadily lost over the course of the previous week.

Really, it's amazing. The body is very good at taking ANY excess calories and storing it immediately. No doubt this is a result of millions of years of evolution. The problem is that in modern times, in the developed world, this works against us with the overabundance and accessibility of so many high calorie foods everywhere.

No problem though. It was an experiment worth trying and now I know the result - controlling the diet has to happen every meal if I want to get the results I desire.

I spent the entire afternoon and some of the early evening outside doing DayGame and dancing (as I'll describe below) today, thus I'm certainly at a very large calorie deficit today to compensate.

DayGame Session

I got out only one approach in my neighborhood earlier in the week. This I'll call approach #1. It was an older, hot woman walking her dog that didnt hook never stopped her momemtum. Borderline blowout.

To meet the goal of 10 for the week I set for myself, I had to approach at least 9 women today. My female dancing friend had let me know about an outdoor dancing event at a nearby town, so I decided to combine this event with daygame and spend the entire afternoon outside. Today was an unseasonably warm December day, so I knew I had to take advantage.

I set out there early to take advantage of the hours before the event started to approach women.

My local neighborhood was deserted as it often is these days. So I got on the metro and went to one of my favorite areas in the city to start, which was sortoff on the way to the town where the dancing event was happening.

Here there were certainly more ladies walking around - though not very many stationary targets. Mostly moving sets that I had to stop momemtum.

I look around though, and I see a gorgeous brunette lying on the grass reading her kindle. I decide to approach but when I do I notice she looks familiar. Indeed - I know her. Turns out, this is the beautiful green-eyed Brazilian brunette that I approached here months ago. What happened with her is documented in this journal - she had very keen interest at first, likely because she was new in the country and because of the boldness of my approach. She came out on the date and I failed to effectively build sexual tension, she refused the bounce-back to my place. I sent one follow up text she did not respond to, and I didn't follow up after that.

The energy of the earlier interactions was gone with her. She was pleasant and we chatted for 5-10 minutes, but conversation was dull this time and I failed to tease or to get her to qualify. I floated the possibility of hanging out again and she said "maybe". I called her out - "that is not a confident answer". She says, "okay yes". I texted her a few minutes ago, but I really doubt this chick is going to give me another chance, which is a damn shame considering I would rate her a solid 9/10.

I continue to approach new girls.

#2 - blowout from short latina. She did not stop

#3 - sexy blonde in leggings. Another blowout that didn't even stop to listen to my sales pitch.

#4 - redhead that stopped very briefly to listen to sales pitch but then ejected.

#5 - short cute little dirty blonde. Stopped momentum, which is good, but then she gave me the COVID objection. I backed away slightly and we continued to chat. She was doing absolutely no work to carry the conversation, only reacting to what I said. This went on for a good 5 minutes. I tried to close and refused.

#6 - Asian that didnt stop. Another blowout.

Was having very poor luck with these moving targets here, so decided to go ahead and change my location.

On the metro ride there, I noticed in the same car a very attractive, short brunette taking selfies of herself. I was crossing my fingers she would get out in the same stop I did.

Luckily, she did, so I took the opportunity to approach soon after we got off the train without my face-covering since it was an open-air platform.

#7 - I would rate this the best interaction of the day. As soon as I approached she engaged and displayed the classic signs of attraction - playing with her hair, and laughing at my teases and stacks. So far so good. I told her about the dancing and she called me out for not being "safe", to which I retorted that she is also doing the same thing with the friend she is meeting outside of her bubble and that I'm telling her mother. She hooks and asks me where I'm from. We talked about languages and where she is from, what she is doing that day, what I'm doing that day, etc.

The interaction had good energy but she signals she has to go. I go to close and unfortunately run into the boyfriend objection. I try to persist a lot with this one using everything I've got.

Girl: I'm sorry I have a boyfriend
Científico: I don't want to be your boyfriend, I have a very rigorous application process for that.
Girl: I know, but it wouldn't be respectful to him to meet you for coffee.
Científico: Does he control and monitor your every move with a surveillance camera over your head or are you an independent person?
Girl: I wouldn't want him meeting with any girls. So I'm just being respectful to him.
Científico: Look, I know a cute girl like you will always have something going on, but I'll just send you one message now and one in 6 months, and you can respond to both or neither
Girl: *hesitates* But I've been with him for two years, what is another 6 months going to do?
Científico: So the wedding is planned already?
Girl: That's the plan for any long term relationship isn't it?
Científico: The divorce rate is 50% you know
Girl: What are you saying!?
Científico: I'm saying us primates are not naturally monogamous
Científico: I'll ask one more time, I'll only send one message not 18
Girl: *hesitates again* I'm sorry I know I won't respond. I really hope you enjoy the rest of your day though and it was great meeting you.

After this one I make my way down a busy shopping street to where the event is. This is a target rich environment, a lot of moving targets again.

#8 - Asian woman shopping around. Engages with me, slows down her momentum and seems to enjoy my approach but doesn't hook, refuses close with boyfriend objection.

#9 - Asian girl with high momentum - she doesn't stop so I walk next to her for a bit. Doesn't completely ignore me but offers nothing but shrugged responses, so I eject.

#10 - cute short girl not wearing a mask, which is a rarity in these times. She was engaged and friendly and we walk together for several minutes, though I don't remember her hooking. I walk with her for a bit and turns out, she was meeting a guy friend. It came as a surprise when we get to him so I had no choice but try to close in front of the guy and she refuses. I should have gotten this information and tried to close earlier. Funny enough, later on I'll see this couple at the dancing thing - turns out she is a dancer. They leave fairly quickly so I don't get to reengage.

Bonus approach #11 - Stationary girl on her phone. Turns out she is young, under 21. Gives me COVID objection and talks about some weird stuff she is reading. For some reason I get a vibe I don't like from this girl so I decide I don't even want to close.

Bonus approach #12 - Close to where the dancing is now, I see this professional looking woman walking close to me. She makes eye contact and quickly looks away. I open and she is receptive. Use some of my typical teases and stacks and they go well but no hook. Refuses close saying "my husband wouldn't like that".

So, only one good hook and no numbers. Overall, my results from daygame lately (last 1-2 months) have been dismal. Occasionally I'll get a good lead (Brazilian girl mentioned above is a case in point), but to get these leads I have to wade through a sea of rejections, low investment sets and flaky numbers.

Could be the low volume (10 per week isn't very much), the COVID Winter making girls less receptive, or problems with my approach technique. The bottom line is that day-game is by far the most difficult form of game and seduction. I'll still do it, but if I can get girls from social circle/dancing and online more effectively I see myself transitioning to those as my primary methods in the future.

Dancing Event

In contrast to the daygame described above, at the dancing thing I had great social momentum and investment from all the women I talked to. Number closed or made plans with two older MILF types that I believe are horny and wanting to meet guys, plus one very young 20 year old venezuelan

- One Asian MILF I've known for years and I invited to a party one time was there. Very good interaction with her. I decided I'm going to try to get her, so I floated the possibility of us hanging out one-on-one and she says: let me know. I texted her and she is responding.

- Another blonde MILF that was making no effort at all to hide her interest. I wasn't sure if I was going to try to close her since she is problably late 40's or early 50's. She was dancing very close to me, I did a bachata move I often do that involves me making the woman body roll from behind, and this causes her light jacket to somehow fall off. She goes "wow I'm already taking my clothes off". Okay, I decided to get her number and she is enthusiastic. Responded to the icebreaker already with a long high investment text.

- The 20 year old Venezuelan I noticed was there by herself. She knew some of the other latino guys but hung out in the background with her phone sometimes not talking to anyone. I approached and she was friendly. Took her out for a dance then chatted her up afterwards. Compliance was high with her from the get-go. Went for the number and she gave it to me, but did give me a minor distance objection since she lives far. Before she left she came over to say goodbye, and she has responded to the icebreaker already.

If I were to always get great leads from dancing like this, I may not even need daygame.

 

[Científico]

Not going to lie, sometimes this COVID Winter really sucks. I have another party invite on Friday but I am hesitant to go because then seeing my family around Christmas-time would mean potentially putting them at risk.

It's cold outside and many bars/venues around me are shutting down to follow new lockdown rules restricting indoor dining. Thus there basically are no date venues to speak of anymore, unless it happens to be a nice day outside.

Work is stable and largely stress-free right now. Thus, I'm spending a lot of time with distractions like Netflix or video games.

My motivation to deal with women is crazy low for some reason. The Ethiopian is double or triple texting me right now, but I'm scared of her because I think she might legitimately be a little crazy. Don't think I'll see her again. My attraction for the Bulgarian is low now (why does she keep trying to get me to eat more?) so I might drop her. I had a scare with the latina MILF I've been banging the other day with a broken condom (got her emergency contraceptives) - now she seems to be having second thoughts about everything, telling me she is "not sure casual sex is a right fit for her". Numerous other leads, a lot from online - but I have low motivation to play the game and juggle them all to try to get a meet with a new girl.

Just relaxing and passing the time, while working on my fitness while this ongoing mess is happening in the world. With all this isolation, what else is there to do? More muscle + a six pack is achievable.

 

[Científico]

COVID Winter Hibernation Update

The past two weeks or so I have not even been trying to meet the 10 approach a week goal. I’ve only approached a total of two women in my neighborhood in the past two weeks, opportunities that just happened to present themselves.

I just don't find it to be a good use of my time to travel >30 minutes into a somewhat higher volume environment (but still sparse in comparison to normal) to approach masked and heavily clothed women (that I can't tell what they actually look like most of the time), often moving targets, in the ~0 Celsius temperature. The returns from this were very low even in somewhat warmer temps earlier in the month. It’s probably a good time to put women on the backburner and focus on other projects.

Fitness

After some Christmas caloric excess (and gaining a few pounds despite my best efforts), I’m back in my apartment with my carefully controlled diet, and back on a downward slope.

At the rate I’ve been going, I calculate I will reach my target weight in 4-5 weeks (end of January or early February at the latest), 20-25 pounds below my starting point a few months ago. Less than 10 pounds to go.

At that point, I will assess how I look and see what direction I need to go in - either losing more fat and continue cutting, or focusing on building muscle. Regardless, I am very excited about my progress here. Clearly my strategy is working, and the isolation is making it easier. I’m looking forward to seeing how I emerge from this situation fitness-wise.

Business Idea

My current company job is stable and pays well, however I know full well that I could be cut off at any time. I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of having my own business and income stream, just for some further stability and independence from others if shit ever hits the fan (like it has in the past - and probably will again in the future).

Last night, I randomly got an idea for a potential side hustle. The niche I would be targeting only has one real competitor with good marketing - there are others out there that are offering similar services but they do not seem to have much of an online social media presence. So there is definitely room in this space.

Just trying to assess right now if it’s worth it and what my plan would be, since it would require some work, having good social media game, providing at least some free content to communicate value, and making a website. However I fully believe this is worth exploring right now.

Dancing

The try-outs I mentioned were today. This particular dance company had a very strict protocol for an in-person audition - survey submitted a few hours before, temperature checks, mandatory masks, and even a ludicrous “no socializing allowed” policy.

My head is still spinning a bit as I write this. The pattern was in fact quite fast and not easy, and I honestly have no idea if I’ll be offered a spot. Though I was able to hold my own, possibly better than some of the others there, it certainly was NOT perfect.

It was a partner routine and I was paired with a short chick with blue-dyed hair. She was actually probably one of the most attractive girls there, though of course I never saw her whole face. She was definitely in performance mode and 100% focused on the routine. We had a decent vibe, but clearly she was stressed, and so was I (a bit) - could have tried to close but something told me it wouldn’t be optimal with the state she was in. Although whenever I write something like that, part of me tells me I’m just making excuses.

There was a lot of moral pandering about COVID, including a commitment not to engage in any social activities outside of the company. Which honestly is quite absurd, though I understand that she is just trying to minimize the risk for herself. It does place me in a possible conundrum if I’m offered a spot.

Regardless of the outcome, I’m glad I did it for the experience - if it’s not this company or this audition, it will be another one. And I’ll get in somewhere, maybe after this shitty COVID situation is over.

 

[Científico]

Yesterday morning, a little before noon, I received the invitation to join that dance company.

I mulled over it until the evening before accepting it.

The list of pros (improved social media game, improved fitness, enhanced community/social life/women, improved dancing) outweighed the cons (some restrictions on socials during COVID, and cost).

Looking forward to seeing what that brings in 2021.

 

[Científico]

I am now 20 pounds lighter than where I was before I started this fitness journey in October. Quite pleased at my progress. I exported the weight CSV data from Cronometer and graphed it on excel - if I include the entire data set from early November to now, I've lost about 1.2 lbs per week. If I exclude the first two weeks in November that I started keeping track, then the rate goes down to about 1 lb per week, indicating a slight slowdown in the rate of weight loss. This is expected. Most of this was done by keeping to a daily calorie deficit of about 500.

Physically, the dude staring at me in the mirror looks thinner in two places - the face and in the mid-section. Again, expected areas for men to store fat. Upper abs are visible, but I still have a substantial layer of body fat around the lower abs and love handles. Thankfully, muscle loss seems to be little/non-existent. The workout routine I am following that uses body weight and a pull up bar for resistance training, and the high protein levels (over 100g daily), are problably contributing to keeping the muscle. Also keeping cardio to a minimum and doing mostly long walks to burn off excess calories.

The past week or two I did another calculation and came to the conclusion that I will probably need to lose an additional 10-15 pounds of fat to really see my abs and get that lean "shredded" look.

Totally fine. Got nothing but time right now. I could even try to potentially slow down the rate of weight loss to 0.5 lbs per week by making the calorie deficit smaller, but I fear this might increase the room for error and overshooting my caloric budget. Scheduled a DEXA scan to really get an accurate handle of my current body fat levels, which will happen in less than two weeks.

There is a likely explanation for why I feel so little motivation to deal with females right now - this process causes testosterone levels to drop. Several fitness gurus have claimed that this will happen and I see little reason to disbelieve them. I also scheduled bloodwork to check my micronutrient and hormone levels next week so I should have an answer regarding this soon.

Only one woman has been on my mind lately - the blonde I have seen at these dancer parties. She is always dressed to the nines at these parties and looks ridiculously good, and always gives me all kinds of IOIs - seeking me out, making eye contact from across the room even when she is dancing with someone else or talking to them, kissing me (on the cheek) and hugging me close after dances. But she has refused my attempts to get her out one-on-one.

One complication is that she is married with a kid, but has never mentioned it to me herself (I found out via facebook), and clearly disrespects her husband (I heard her say at the new years party "I have to call fucktard and see how he is doing"). Husband NEVER goes with her to the party.

The only conclusion I can come to is that this woman needed, or perhaps still needs, a fast, high risk seduction AT THE PARTY. As in, isolate to an empty room in the house and ramp up the sexual tension. Chance of success is lower if I try this now but as long as she continues to give me all these signs of interest it might still be game on?

Anyway, that is where my mind is right now woman-wise, but it is mostly focused on other projects at the moment.

I also had my first dance team practice yesterday - such great fun. This is going to pay dividends once things open back up again.

 

[Científico]

Even though I have not been focusing on women at all the past month or two, I have my first date of 2021 tomorrow. This is a girl I found on Tinder several months ago. We had a video chat and I enjoyed it. Then we sorta stopped talking for a bit, until I found her on Instagram and randomly added her. She opened me with a cheeky message and we had another back and forth. Then I decided to ask her out and she accepted. She scheduled the date several weeks in advance and during those interim weeks we essentially did not chat. However today I reopened her via text to confirm - she responded and confirmed the date.

There is definitely something cute about this girl. Something that vibes well with me. It helps her a lot that she can make plans so far in advance and stick to them.

Weather will be good tomorrow, albeit cold. Going to meet her at a place where we can get outdoor coffee. Plan is to walk around for a while and build on the rapport we have. Then I'll attempt a bounce back to my apartment with plausible deniability like always.

Another random comment: I do understand when people use Cannabis medicinally - it does help turn around your mood sometimes.

 

[Científico]

Pandemic Thoughts/Future Plans.

As I think I've stated before, I do have an advanced degree in microbiology/infectious disease. So I feel a little more qualified to comment on our current situation compared to the average person, especially when I actually try to have conversations with people and see just how little the average person knows or understands about the virology or epidemiology of this thing.

In terms of number of infections and clinical disease, we are currently in the worst days of the pandemic in most countries of the world, including the USA. I don't tell anyone how to live their lives, however if you are at all concerned about this virus now is the time to lay low and limit the amount of contact you have with people. In my current location there is honestly very little to do these days anyway, unless I were to decide to travel down to Florida (I've heard reports of bars open and parties happening there), or leave the country for the Caribbean/Latin America.

Rather than do this now I've decided to wait until a more favorable situation (and continue to accumulate paid vacation days with my company), so I can take a long and serious vacation with multi-destination travel later on. Really looking to check out new parts of Mexico, and go to Colombia for the first time. Probably will sprinkle in a dancing event/congress or two in the same trip.

Vaccine rollout is slow right now but it will continue. I'm really hoping that they vaccinate enough people so that by the summer we will have substantially reduced case numbers, and crucially, they wont go up again in the Fall.

One thing I'm maybe 5% worried about are these variants. The UK variant has a N501Y Spike protein mutation, but published data from at least two papers shows that the current vaccines should work just fine. There is at least one other variant, including one from South Africa, that has another E484K mutation in the Spike protein that some people are concerned about, however even if it does change a few epitopes a good polyclonal antibody response from a vaccine should still work. Although I've heard of some alarm from public health experts, personally I am still not very worried. Viruses mutate but this particular virus mutates less than others, like Influenza. A good antibody response targeting multiple places (epitopes) on the protein should be just fine in my humble opinion. More data in the future will let us know if we should be worried or not.

Fitness Update

I finally got that DEXA scan the other day. The result? My current body fat percentage is 17.5%!

This is great news. It means that when I started, I was up in the >25% range, and honestly needed to lose weight - I just didn't realize it or put much priority over truly controlling my consumption of food.

It also means that while I still have some weight to lose to really get to that 10-15% range, I am getting close. My current rough calculation has me losing only about 10 more pounds to get to ~12%.

I've detected a bit of a slowdown in my weight loss the past week or two, but I see no reason to change strategy just yet. If it becomes clear that I am really hitting a plateau over the next 2 weeks or so, then I will change my strategy, probably by slightly decreasing my daily calorie consumption further by about 200-300.

Once I hit that optimal body fat level, I'll start focusing on photography for dating apps .

 

[Científico]

I went out for a walk today in the late morning, in my neighborhood. The purpose of this walk was not to cold approach. It was mainly to get some steps in - I've found that walking is a great strategy to burn excess calories and ensure weight loss, without the downsides of sustained cardio (like injury). Probably less prone to muscle loss as well.

I was listening to a podcast. Like usual these days, the amount of possible sets was non-existent for a while. So I wasnt even thinking about cold approach.

Then, as I get to a more crowded area I see a girl that looks more or less exactly like my "type" - short, stylish jacket, brunette, with leggings. I hesitate too long and lose the opportunity.

This is what happens during lockdown and when too much time passes without approaching - the AA kicks back in. As I continue my walk I let another juicy set pass me by, and I think to myself "okay, this is ridiculous". I turn off my podcast after around 3000 steps and turn back to head in the opposite direction, back towards my apartment.

Then, as I get back towards that crowded area I see the same girl I saw earlier - lucky break. Second opportunities to approach the same girl do not come often. This time I take it.

She is walking in my direction and I front stop her. I open direct + geography stack, which is essentially my standard routine. My geography guess is wrong and she tells me she is from Colombia. Perfect. No wonder she seemed like my "type". That's because she was - colombianas are some of my favorite women on the planet. I switch to Spanish and we chit chat some more about her and what she is doing here.

I don't have hard data for this, but anecdotally I think that with Latinas after the Spanish switch occurs I get a much higher hook rate. Indeed this was the case here - she asks me where I am from and what I am doing here.

I can sense from her body language a bit that part of her wants to eject. I go for the close and she gives me the number. After the number close my intention was to continue the chit chat for at least a few minutes, but she goes "great to meet you!" and walks off almost immediately.

As any player knows, getting the number means little, and it is hard to tell what will happen based on the initial interaction. There is a 50% chance she wont even reply, and only maybe a 10% chance she'll actually come out on the date.

Still, it felt very good to have a real-time interaction with a live female human. This is only my second approach of 2021.

Sometimes I end up finding these ladies on Instagram or Facebook, even after they turn flaky. My intention is to try to hook some of these back in with good social media marketing/photography, as sometimes a "No" now can turn into a "Yes" later. You learn that from sales.

 

[Científico]

Direct vs. Indirect Study

For the longest time, I've been a believer in direct daygame. This is largely due to the fact that the coaches that inspired me to cold approach in the first place have been advocates of going direct, like Tom Torero or James Tusk. Torero used to say "girls know why you're approaching them" and other things like "why are you asking for their opinion when you could have asked the 60 year old man next to them? They are not stupid". All of my time cold approaching I've taken this as truth.

But then I read articles from Alek Rolstad, or Lofty's journal, that show clear example of indirect game working well. And I wonder if I'm missing out on something here. Maybe guys like Torero are wrong, and Rolstad is right in that girls in fact do not know (consciously) why you're approaching right away, and it's better not to force them to make a decision right away about you. Maybe it is in fact better to keep things subtle at first. Maybe women enjoy the seduction dance more when it's not in fact clear right away exactly what the guy wants.

This debate has been really interesting to me lately. Because I'm a científico, I'm going to put this to the test. Maybe there will be a difference or maybe there won't be, but there is only one way to find out.

The way I will do this is as follows. All I will do is just switch constantly between direct and indirect in my approaches. Since I already did two direct approaches this month, the next two will be indirect, followed by two direct, and so on. This will go on indefinitely. After I've done hundreds of approaches I'll be able to compare the results of both methods.

Obviously, I need to up the volume a bit. I find my "10 approach a week" goal has been unrealistic considering the current circumstances - it has simply been unattainable. Instead what I will do is move my fitness-walks to the morning or during the day (rather than at night as I have sometimes been doing), when there are more people out, and approach when I see sets. Plan is to walk at least 1-2 hours per day, as this is in line with my fitness goals.

Direct Process:
Same as I've been doing. "I think you look nice" followed by some kind of stack/tease, be it geography, profession, speed of walk, etc

Indirect Process
Going to start with my own variations of Lofty's "You know who you look EXACTLY like?" routine. Of course as I study more I'll be able to think of and try new ones.

Like I said, no time limit here. I forsee myself doing this into 2021 and beyond. My hope is that the constant switching over a long time period (rather than doing say, 10 on Tuesday and 10 and Wednesday) will control for different environments, states, different girls, etc.

Dance Team Update

Just completed my third or fourth practice with them. It is such good fun.

The routine is super solid. It is romantic and tragic. The song is about a man and a woman that are in love, yet the man is too afraid to make anything happen (because he hasn't found girlschase?). The movements between me and my partner attempt to capture this dynamic. I believe I could even come up with girlschase-inspired gambits about this to use with dancing girls.

My partner is a short-haired blonde girl of German descent. She is an excellent dancer. One of those types that feels my lead and is able to move with me as a unit. Like any good bachata dancer, she is able to mold and contort her body around like wet spaghetti. Our dynamic and chemistry is very good and we work well together.

She's also got a huge diamond wedding ring. Told me it's from a dominican guy she will marry soon. I often see women like this in the dance community - that love to go out and dance with all kinds of men while in a committed relationship. I suppose the motivation has to do with the female desire for attention. Some of them will cheat, some won't.

I don't really plan on making any fast moves with any females associated with that company (despite a clear IOI I believe I got last time). The "don't shit where you eat" mantra applies here. Especially when there should be plenty of opportunities with other females outside the company when we start to get in front of large groups. I hope this will start to happen later in 2021.

 

[Lofty]

Hey Científico,

Really interesting experiment you’ve set-up. Indirect game has literally changed my life, so I’ll be really interested to see what you find for yourself.

Definitely want to give credit where it’s due - the “You know who you look EXACTLY like?” concept is originally Gunwitch/Allen Reyes’ idea. Then I tried to come up with a few different variations to lead into a sexually-framed conversational framework, with a particular interest in using it to stop and hook moving targets. If they’re stationary, I’ve learned that I can use an intrigue-bait opener like this one, or also reality-pace or meta-pace openers. @Skippy has also been experimenting with a really cool reality-pace opener for moving street targets, too.

But anyway, Gunwitch's original form of this particular opener goes something like, “Do you know who you look EXACTLY like? You look like my ex-girlfriend… except there’s a different vibe in your eyes, like I bet you’re way more open-minded than she was."

Which works because it displays that you already date/sleep with women of her caliber, while also setting some seduction-conducive frames.

Or he may say that she looks like a celebrity but then withhold the particular name for a while, simultaneously increasing intrigue, investment, and compliance.

He further discusses why this style of opener works in his materials, but the basis for this opener lies within what he describes as the three keys of social frame, emotional stimulation, and sexual arousal. That’s the structure for his indirect game and for Bacchus/Daniel Adebayo, too. You may have already read these articles, but I thought it would be worthwhile to link them just in case.

And just like you noted, a useful component of indirect methodology is avoiding any potential knee-jerk reactions at the opener - perhaps especially if an approach invitation is induced or already given.

Completely bypassing this judgement from her allows for an efficient transition straight into covert influence (like fractionating between material to fulfill all three keys), which can help increase hook rates and lower approach-to-hook/approach-to-lay/number closing ratios. So hopefully that helps put some meat on the bone to what and why I was working with that style. Of course, Alek Rolstad's articles describe the various theories of indirect game in much finer detail than what I've written here.

Overall, though, I think this is a really cool experiment from someone who already has had success with direct game. Personally, I find the potential for indirect game to be limitless… which is something that top innovators like the aforementioned authors consistently show. But still, if a guy gets laid, he gets laid, and that’s an awesome accomplishment in itself regardless of style.

Much respect for trying this out. Definitely will be looking forward to your results.

 

[ElderPrice]

IMO if you have a bunch of experts say that direct works, then it works. If you have a bunch of experts say that indirect works, then it works.

I think it just comes down to which opener is most appropriate for whatever situation you find yourself in.

Eager to see how your study goes!

 

[Científico]

Thanks for the encouragement guys. I do this fully aware that what we do is "pick-up art" and not "pick-up science". I'm also NOT as skilled as some of the other guys here, not by a long shot. Thus whatever I find out for myself should be interpreted very narrowly and with a large grain of salt.

 

[Científico]

Texting the Colombiana from Cold Approach.

I pinged this girl I cold approached, and opened direct, on Wednesday morning and was happy to see she was quite responsive. However, it appears I may have made a mistake somewhere. These days I am very to-the-point with women and sometimes I lose leads by escalating too early, especially the good ones from cold approach. I’m probably not doing enough to build comfort. I don't consider this one to be completely a lost cause yet, but the likelihood I’ll get her out on the date I think has decreased substantially. I think I just tried to close too early.

Here is the text exchange. I text her early in the morning about 3 days after getting her number on a busy sidewalk in my current town.

All texts are in original Spanish (my English translation in parenthesis).

Científico: *photo ping of mug with coffee in it on my balcony*
Científico: buenos días científica. Que tal tu hump day. (Good morning scientist. How is your hump day).

I like to open my numbers from daygame with that photo ping one-three days after I get the number. I think it’s pretty effective. I get lots of women texting me back their own photos of coffee mugs. Exactly what she does here. I call her “scientist” because she works at a nearby research institution.

Cute Colombiana (CC): *picture of a mug with the logo of her work place, in front of a window*
CC: Hola Científico, como estas? Mi día empezando...bonita tu vista, en cambio la mía, un poco dramática. (Hi Científico, how are you? My day is starting...your view is nice. Mine however is a bit dramatic).
Científico: Dramática? Esa palabra deja espacio para la imaginación. (dramatic? This word leaves space for the imagination).
Científico: Tuve que guiar a X esta mañana. (I had to drive to X town this morning).
CC: Guiar significa ir supongo, las diferencias divertidas en del español. Esa me ciudad me parece “chevere”. (Guiar means ir I suppose. The fun differences in the spanish language. That city seems “chevere”.)

At this point I really like how this conversation is going. She makes a comment about my Spanish vocabulary (since we are from different countries), which is something I can definitely talk about as understanding languages is one of my hobbies, especially the Spanish language. I decide to see how far she’ll go with this.

Científico: Guiar = conducir. O tal vez “manejar”. (Guiar = conducir. Or maybe “manejar)
Cientifico: En España, según tu descripción, X sería “guay”. Y en Mexico - “padre”. (In Spain, according to your description “town X” would be “guay”. And in Mexico - “padre).
CC: Cool??

Looking back at this now, I realize the second message perhaps was not necessary. I did not get the response I was looking for (her nerding out). I decide to initiate a new conversational thread. Note* - “ABC” here is a substitute for the name of where she works.

Científico: Fuiste al laboratorio hoy? Con tu tacita cute del ABC (Did you go into lab today? With your cute little ABC mug)
CC: No, yo puedo trabajar en cualquier parte, mi trabajo es en el computador casi siempre, y ahora por Covid no está permitido ir fácilmente. (no, I can work anywhere, and now with COVID it is not easy to work there.)
Científico: Eso he visto. Que bueno, debemos celebrar tu flexibilidad de trabajo. (That I have seen. Great, we should celebrate your work flexibility).

Here I am already soft closing.

CC:Listo, puede ser. (ready, that can happen)
Científico: ¿Cuál es un buen dia para esa bebida que discutimos? (What’s a good day for that drink we discussed?)
CC: Creo que la semana entrante, si puedes. (I think next week, if you’re available)
Científico: Puedo. ¿Hay algún día en particular que te guste más que otros? (I can do that. Is there any day in particular you like more than others?)
CC: Para un cafecito cualquier día en la mañana creo, no te pregunte si vives por aqui. Yo salgo a desayunar a veces por “Y”. (For a coffee any day in the morning. I did not ask you if you lived here. I go out for breakfast sometimes in “Y area”.
Científico: Te gusta el vino? (Do you like wine?)
CC: Si (Yes).
Cientifico: Nos tomamos un vinito en uno de los bares que todavía están abiertos, como Z. (We can have some wine at one of the bars around here that are still open, like Z).

She did not respond. It’s obvious that the attempt to move the coffee date to the wine date spooked her a little bit. I dislike morning coffee dates because it makes any kind of seduction virtually impossible, but to be fair to her, when I got the number that was what we agreed upon. I followed up two days later (today).

Científico: Como te parece esta idéa? (What do you think of this idea?)
CC: Hola Científico, gracias por la iniciativa para hablar y la invitación, pero no, no estoy disponible para una cita. Que estés bien! (Hi Cientifico, thanks for the initiative to talk and the invitation, but no, I am not available for a date. Be well!).

This is what I find fascinating about women, how quick the 180’s can be. Like I said, probably another case of me moving a bit too fast/not building enough comfort. But I prefer to be on that end of the spectrum rather than moving too slowly.

I’m not giving up on her yet - I mulled over this for a bit and tomorrow I am going to respond. Likely I am going to go with the plausible deniability around the true fact that my schedule in the mornings is very busy, outside of weekends. I might lie and say I’m trying to cut back on caffeine. And in the end if that works I’ll agree to a coffee date some day and go for the close on a second date.

Dancing girl keeps inviting me to parties.

There is another case I want to mention here. This one is from back in October. The number close is recounted here:

Científico: Shoot me your # and we'll get a drink soon
Girl: Actually, you've done this before. You already have my number.
Científico: Really?
Girl: Yes, sometime last year. I was waiting for you to text. But then you didn't and I thought "okay, fuck that guy".
Científico: Okay, hold on, let's check this out.

I look her up on my phone and indeed - I had her number, but one digit was wrong.

This case is actually funny to me because it’s almost like she is the one that is chasing. She has invited me now to private parties with dancers at her place twice, and both times I tell her straight up “I’m only interested in seeing you”. I’ve been very clear about showing intent,, even using the line from PWF “I got a great workout in, so I look nice and fit for our romantic date.” I just refuse to place her game, but interestingly enough it doesn’t drive her away.

Here is my latest exchange (second party invite from her).

Girl: Hi, if the weather allows, I’m thinking of having a few people over to dance with masks on on my patio next weekend. Would you be free?
Científico: How big is the group?
Girl: You, me, and 2 other people
Cientifico: that is two more than necessary

Girl: We wanted to do rueda

​

Cientifico: Like I said before

Cientifico: I'd love to hang out with you one-on-one

Cientifico: Hope you had a great week

Girl: And I keep asking why it has to be one on one. We seem to be at an impasse.

I’ll note that there were huge time lags before my responses - I think I took about 4 days to send her my last three texts. She always responds within hours.

With this one I don’t know what the hell to do yet. I can’t go to one of her parties, especially now. I need to figure out what to say to her so that she’ll meet me without others.

Fitness/Field Update

I believe my rate of weight loss has slowed down, I think I will do the data analysis tomorrow morning and see if I can prove that conclusively. Still not enough time has passed to justify any drastic changes in my daily calorie goals. I’ve met my original weight target now, but concluded already that I need to lose an additional 10-15 pounds most likely to get to the body fat % I want.

My week was crazy busy this week and I could not get any approaches in. Laziness and work has gotten the better of me, and prevented me from making that many approaches this month. I expect AA to come back in force when I go out in the field to approach again, but it has to be done.

I noticed recently essentially ALL of my old pants and most of my shirts no longer fit me. They are just too big with the recent changes in my body. Tomorrow I will go out in the field with two objectives:

1. Approach any good sets I see, starting with two indirect. I will likely set a concrete goal, say 6 approaches (even number so I can approach direct and indirect the same amount of times).
2. Buy some new clothes!! Could do opinion openers inside stores for my indirect sets?

 

[Científico]

Field Report- Yesterday (Saturday 1/23/2021)

Yesterday I went to a mall with the primary objective of buying new clothes, secondary objective getting a few approaches.

I do notice a few psychological blocks these days approaching. The first is the low volume, which makes it easy to get out of "state", distracted, and rusty. The second is the facial coverings and heavy winter clothing all these women are wearing - it's very hard to know what the girl looks like before you approach when she is covered in heavy winter gear and has a mask and/or hat on. I find I am only approaching the ones I REALLY know I will be attracted to, the "creme-de-la-creme" so to speak.

I got out only three approaches in this mall. First two were indirect. Third was direct.

The first woman I approached went something like this:

Científico: Hey, you know who you look EXACTLY like?
Her: *pause* No.....who?
Científico: Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you - I know how in today's society women are forced to meet unrealistic standards. The beauty contest never ends.
Her: It's okay, I don't care what other people think.
Científico: Oh really? You are a very enlightened one then.
Científico: You seem like you're from southern europe?

So I just end up proceeding to the geography stack, like I often do. There is low investment from her side and she doesn't hook, refuses the close.

Funny enough, the one that did hook and showed some investment initially was the one I approached direct outside of an H+M. We were chit chatting for a while, friend comes into the set before I had tried to close. I address the friend, say hi and have another quick chit chat, before trying to close the girl I approached. She flatly says no.

I suspect that with this third set the chit-chat maybe was a little too boring/platonic to be interesting to her. She hooked within the first 30 seconds but after that no longer was putting any effort into the conversation.

I believe I need to get serious about recording and analyzing my sets - part of my todo list today is to buy a small Bluetooth microphone to make this easier.

Field Report - Today (Sunday 1/24/2021)

I went out walking for fitness purposes mostly, knowing full well that despite the sunny skies, the sub-freezing temperature was going to make things sparse. Indeed it was very much low volume - I saw almost no women to approach at all.

I did see a blonde that I know for sure was attractive, a very fast moving target. I was going to use the indirect opener and had Maria Sharipova in mind for her if/when I had to compare her to an actual celebrity. However I wasn't able to catch up to her - she rounded a street corner and was gone.

Then on the way home, by chance I see the Cute Colombiana I had approached last week here. Small neighborhood I guess - I see the same girls. It is a good thing and a bad thing. Conversation went something like this.

Científico: Hey Científica, how are you?
CC: Oh hey, how are you?
Científico: I'm fine, just enjoying this crisp cold Sunday. How about you?
CC: I'm about to meet a friend
Científico: Awesome. So how about that coffee we discussed before? You were available before and now you say you aren't, what changed?
CC: Well...I'm just really busy and...
Científico: I know you're busy, we all are. How about we plan it for a day that you aren't busy? Does that work?
CC: Sure, that sounds good.
Científico: Okay perfect, talk to you later.

Not sure how much I like that exchange, but I've already made a mistake earlier so anything I do here with her is damage control. Plan is to wait another day or two, ping her again to get another exchange going before closing again. Hopefully she'll respond, at least after some persistence.

 

[Científico]

We are in the midst of this deep COVID Winter. Temperatures outside are subfreezing. This coupled with lack of contact with people creates mental sanity challenges for sure.

Women Update

The Cute Colombiana has predictably stopped responding. I was never able to recover from my mistake of escalating too fast by turning the coffee date into a wine date. She was the only daygame lead I had at the moment - my cold approach volume has been dismal, with only 6 approaches in the entire month of January. I know full well I will not get much results with that low volume.

The problem is that in these temperatures in the midst of the pandemic winter, it is legitimately difficult. I have to be walking outside in the very cold temperatures for a while to even find 2-3 sets. The only possible alternative is approaching at one of the indoor malls, while wearing a mask. I only explored this option one time this month.

On the online dating side, I got two leads recently I've been a bit interested in. Did a video chat with one, currently still working on getting them out on dates. This is with me not trying too much - my dating profiles continue to be sub-par and I don't check them often in some websites, because I need better photos and I've been putting off more photoshoots due to 1.) the winter and 2.) that I still have more bodyfat to lose before I reach that ultra-shredded <10% body fat level I'm looking for.

I still have this weird phenomenon of lack of seduction motivation. It's reflected by the fact that I am 1.) doing less daygame sets and 2.) not caring about all of my dating apps. I'm just not putting all of my focus on women right now. Part of me hates myself for that. Part of me rationalizes it as a needed break. When the weather improves and I can comfortably approach outside again, and take good photos of my new body, I believe I'll find my mojo again. It's just a matter right now of riding this period out as best as I can.

Pandemic Update

Main roadblock right now is getting these vaccines out and getting everyone vaccinated. The data re: the variants suggests that while there might be a reduction in efficacy with the current vaccines, the current vaccines will still work to a certain extent. Worst case scenario Pfizer, Moderna, AstraZeneca, and others will just update their vaccines for the new mutations.

The end of this shit can't come soon enough.

Fitness Update

I plotted my weight data again (all 84 days of it) and the trend line has an R*2 greater than 0.96. Meaning that my weight loss has been remarkably consistent the past several months. And that my strategy is working. My hunch that my weight loss has been slowing down is false - in fact if I plot the last two weeks, or last three weeks, the rate of weight loss remains the same.

If I use that formula to predict when I'll reach that ~10% body fat percentage, and this trend holds, I will reach that point in 1 - 1.5 months.

Still keeping a caloric deficit of 500. Bouts with hunger do happen, especially on the days where I do not exercise thus I'm more limited in the total calories I consume. Carbonated water beverages, diet soda, and coffee/tea do help. So does the motivation to get the result I want. On this I am 100% motivated.

 

[Científico]

Big news of the day was this paper in The Lancet, showing the Russian Sputnik V vaccine is just as good as the Moderna or Pfizer vaccines:

DEFINE_ME

I would argue, based on these data, that not only is this vaccine good - it is the best one currently available. Why?
1.) >90% efficacy, on par with the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines
2.) None of the storage issues requiring -70 C freezers.

The reaction in the west (particularly US) by some should be interesting - I predict either downplaying it, or ignoring it completely. In any case, Russia occasionally produces other things that are good besides beautiful women.

Low volume on the women side. The lead I am most excited about is a cute dancer chick that I found on the "Coffee meets bagel" app. She has the same dancing hobby as me, and knows about some of the same places, so I believe that connection is making this easier. I moved her off the app by agreeing to a video chat, we had the chat and I followed up about 2 days afterwards - it is clear from her responses that she has a good level of investment, and we are clearly building up to an in-person date involving latin music and wine.

We had a very heavy snowstorm roll through here yesterday - going outside means very low temperatures and high winds. Going to go for the "straight to my place" meet.

Tonight I feel happy about things overall, but there are certainly moments where I am mentally affected by the prolonged isolation of this stupid COVID Winter. I need to get myself back out this weekend to do a few cold approaches, at least in an indoor mall.

Do I need a side hustle?

The above has been on my mind more often now. In fact, I believe I have come to the conclusion that I do not in fact need one.

I'm essentially in technical sales of high end research equipment. It pays very well (I make >100k a year now), and the job market is very good - I constantly get contacted by recruiters, and there are always companies in my industry looking for talent. If I ever need a new job it won't be hard to find one.

Most importantly, I really enjoy it - both the people in the industry, the products, the customers, and my current company. I was given a 4% raise to my base salary this year, and I was told by my direct manager last week that I am in line for a promotion this year if I get a extra few projects done.

So, why add extra work for little returns? When I can spend it on other pursuits and hobbies? I might return to my side hustle idea in the future. But for now, extremely low priority.

 

[Científico]

FR+ Date with Cute Dancer

Summary - Just wrapped up a date with this cute dancer chick I met on the Coffee meets Bagel app. Unfortunately, this was a failed pull - we met at a local bar and she would not go back to my place. Pretty sure I fucked up somewhere. It's possible that had I seeded the pull better and gotten her invested about something at my place, she would have come back. Towards the latter half of the date she was downplaying her enthusiasm for what I was using as plausible deniability - which was dancing and music - possibly as a defense mechanism for herself since it's very likely I overplayed that card. After she said no several times, despite my persistence, I just walked her to her car and manhandle kissed her. Unsure I will see her again.

Longer Overview -
Matched with the girl around Jan 18th, messaged her that day. Opened with the dancing thread since she had a picture of herself dancing in her profile. Conversation:

Científico: Hola Bachatera
Cute Dancer (CD): *Wave* Hi, how has your weekend been? Was today a holiday for you?
Científico: Yesterday was indeed a holiday for me. I enjoyed it. You?
Científico: How much do you miss dancing?
CD: I had something I needed to get done for work, so I only worked for a couple of hours.
CD: I dont dance as much as I used to, but I definately miss hacing that as an outlet when I need to distract myself
CD: Do you dance at all
Cientifico: I've doing salsa/bachata for quite a while now. Recently joined a bachata performance team. What is your favorite?
CD: Oh nice. Which team?
CD: Is that still happening during the pandemic?
CD: Mmmm I guess I prefer bachata
Cientifico: She's being really strict with masks and questionaires. The X Team.
Cientifico: How do you pass the time now without dancing?

Two days pass - no response

Cientifico: Dont worry, it wasnt a trick question
CD: Oh nice. I was actually looking on her website the other day to see what classes they are offering in person but I think it was just a beginners class
CD: That's a good question - it's been hard. In the warmer months I was growing a lot of stuff in my garden and going on lots of walks/hikes
CD: Recently I've been trying to cook more and try new recipees but that only keeps me entertained for so long .
Cientifico: At least it's easy to control what you eat now, right? My nutrition is so much better than before.
Cientifico: We should dance sometime.
CD: Baha what's what I thought in march when all this started that it would be so much easier to eat healthy now, but then I developed a really bad doordash habit and started drinking more too! I could use this topic to make a really good "how it all started" meme
CD: I started having to go back to the office so that is helping.
CD: We could try dancing sometime...but first we should try a video chat
Cientifico: I'm glad you are moving around a bit - so easy to go stir crazy being at home all the time.
Cientifico: Sure, we can try a video chat. Want to shoot me your phone number so we can text?
CD: It's xxx-xxx-xxxx
Cientifico: Texted you

Off the app now

Cientifico: Hey CD it's Cientifico from the thing
Cientifico: How is your hump day?
CD: It was ok, I got frustrated with a couple of things at work today, but I came home and was on the phone for a while so that was a nice distraction. How was yours?
Cientifico: I went up to XYZ town and trained some googly eyed customers on how to use our product.
Cientifico: I also got a great workout in, so I look fit for our video chat.
CD: Do you want to video chat this evening?
CD: FYI - I cant take my phone in at work so I normally just leave it in my car.
Cientifico: Sure, 8 pm is optimal for me. Does this work?
CD: Ok, yup thats good for me.

After this it's just logistics for the video chat. We have the chat and it's fine, a lot of comfort building, talk about dancing, travel, family, the pandemic, and a few spikes thrown in that I normally use (such as, you seem like a good girl, no parties, no boys, etc).

I wait three days after the video chat then I reengage with my coffee mug photo-ping:

Cientifico: *photo ping*
Cientifico: Buenos dias bachatera.
CD: Hey hey how are you?
Cientifico: Enjoying this beautiful day. How is your Saturday Funday?
CD: Saturday Funday? lol
CD: It was ok - I ran over one of those white poles that they have to seperate the bike lane from the road.
CD: That was awesome. Did you do anything exciting?
Cientifico: Oh no - you bad girl
Cientifico: For me it was the usual, exercise and spending tiem outside. Might throw some snowballs today?
Cientifico: Actually I'm thinking I need a cute partner to make a winter bachata video.
CD: Did you make a fall or summer bachata video? If so I wanna see!
Cientifico: Not yet. This would be a brand new project
Cientifico: *send a video of people dancing in the snow* Something like that?
CD: lol - I give them props for being able to dance in the snow like that.
Cientifico: You dont think you can dance in the snow?
CD: I dont know, I've never tried
CD: Did you make it out for your snowball fight?
Cientifico: Absolutely, I was out by (x place in my town).
Cientifico: I have no doubt you can. We need to see all these moves you picked up at (y venue she used to frequent pre-pandemic).
CD: I'm so nervous now! You have such high expectations for my dancing ability. What if you finally get to see my moves and they dont live up to your expectations??
Cientifico: I wouldnt worry about that. As long as you're having fun, that is the only thing I care about.

At the time I wasn't sure how to respond to that, and I think that that reassurance helped. But more importantly, I think this sets the stage for what happens later. It should have been my cue to downplay any dancing conversation and focus on other things, since she is telling me there that she feels insecure about it. Instead I continue with it, both in the texting and on the date.

She doesn't respond to my last text for several hours, but when she finally does it is to reinitiate a brand new conversation thread with a meme about a strange person knocking on her door. I respond by commenting on the meme.

Cientifico: Haha. Did you survive intact?
CD: I did! but who knows what would have played out had I actually opened the door
CD: I wanted to listen to some music today and listened to *x DJ we discussed* stream's from last week, I could see how people like the live streams because you dont feel like you're alone listening to music.
Cientifico: I'm very glad you're okay from with the mystery door person. We should celebrate and listen to some bachata sometime.
CD: I typically celebrate with wine but I guess some bachata will do.
Cientifico: Wine and bachata go together. In fact the more you drink the better you get at it.
Cientifico: What's a day that works for you for this wine and bachata meet?
CD: Friday or Saturday?
Cientifico: I think Friday evening is optimal
CD: Sounds good. Where should we meet?

I mull over my response here for quite a while. Do I go for the straight-for-home meet or do I meet her at a local bar first? I decided to go for the local bar, rationalizing in my head that if the girl needs comfort before seduction it's better to move her around a bit before having her at the seduction location. Possible mistake but I'm not sure right now.

Cientifico: Let's meet at (xyz bar close to my place). They've got a good outdoor patio.
CD: oooh so you're gonna make me trek up to your town!? That's okay but if we decide to meet up again after that just know that we'll be starting things off with you being indebted to me for making the trek up to *your state* *three emojis*
Cientifico: Without a doubt

The day of the date:

Cientifico: Happy Friday bachatera. What's a good time to meet tonight? Anytime after 7 pm or so is good.
CD: I hate to do this but can we reschedule? I couldnt sleep last night and actually just left work bc my brain isnt functioning. I'm assuming you have superbowl plans on Sunday? If so maybe next week?

I give her a call after this and have a quick three minute conversation. Basically play it off as no big deal, which I've learned is the best strategy for when a girl flakes. The weekend passes and I was going to give her until Tuesday (today) before following up again. However, she follows up first last night:

CD: Should we try meeting up tomorrow if you're available?
CD: *weather pic showing incoming snow all week*
Cientifico: Hey buenas noches!
Cientifico: I just got out of my X team practice, the routine is fun, half the time it feels like I'm just standing there twirling the girl
Cientifico: Sure, lets meet tomorrow.
CD: *thumbs up*

The second "I just got out of X team practice" text was almost certainly unnecessary. I thought it would be good to add that information about me as a DHV, but in fact what likely happened is it came across as try-hard, and set the stage for what would happen during the date.

Today I had a crazy day at work and it was after 3 pm and I had not texted her yet to confirm the time. I did so and she agreed, drove to the bar and we met up. I prepared the apartment for the possible pull and purchased wine, cleaned the bathroom, etc. Then walked right down the street to the bar. She was already sitting there waiting.

Things I think I did right:
1.) Conversation was engaging and she was invested. Eye contact was good. She was asking a lot of questions about me and my past relationships and what I'm looking for in a woman, and I wasn't taking her seriously, saying things like "I dont know, can she cook and do a bachata body roll?"
2.) Sex talk foray I think was successful - the "slut shaming" routine about the double standards for men and women worked well and she was agreeing with me
3.) Some touching - took her hand and commented on her skin, and also made her do a neck-roll (which is a dance move).

Unfortunately, during the second half of the date she was essentially telling me that she didn't think she was into dancing and the dance community as much as me, essentially setting the frame that we weren't compatible and putting me on the defensive ("oh I'm sure you're a good dancer, let's find out"). I did this to myself during the texting and during the date when I up-played that too much, that is clear to me now.

She also asked me - " what are you into other than dancing" and "how many of your previous girlfriends have been dancers". I answered here - "more than 75%", which was probably the wrong answer. She started to go on about how the people she met at the venue we both used to frequent lacked a connection OTHER than dancing. I did not know how to address this, and realized that I put myself in a bit of a conundrum. I was essentially just on the defensive, telling her that it's a bit part of who I am.

When I tried to pull she responded - "no, I think I will go home and pass out". I tried a false time constraint, "you can only stay for half an hour", and she seemed to consider it for a bit - however by the time we got the check paid and we were walking out and she had made up her mind and all my attempts at persistence failed. I walked her to her car and she resisted a kiss, but I manhandle kissed her and got it anyway.

Anyway, now I'm in a bit of a bad situation since I already agreed that if we decide to meet up again it has to be on her turf. Thus this was likely my one and only chance to make something happen with her.

Post-Mortem: Some lessons learned here. It's totally fine to have the crux of the interaction be dancing when it is a girl that is really into it, but when the girl is NOT someone that centers their life around that activity it's best to downplay it and focus on other things 90% of the time. I think the topic of dancing was at least 40-50% of what we talked about, which I believe was far too much for her and came across as try-hard. Being on a bachata team is enough DHV by itself so that I don't have to continually focus on it. Pretty sure I made the same mistake earlier in 2020 with the gorgeous Haitian girl I met on the street from daygame.

 

[foggy]

hey cientifico, good job getting this girl out on a date, sorry to hear it didn't turn out the way you expected.

below im providing some rough commentary on your texting pre-video call. I think you could have skipped her ignoring you and then screening you through a video call with some slight tweaks. Let me know your thoughts on it, alright?

Científico: Hola Bachatera
Cute Dancer (CD): *Wave* Hi, how has your weekend been? Was today a holiday for you?
Científico: Yesterday was indeed a holiday for me. I enjoyed it. You?
Científico: How much do you miss dancing?
CD: I had something I needed to get done for work, so I only worked for a couple of hours.
CD: I dont dance as much as I used to, but I definately miss hacing that as an outlet when I need to distract myself
CD: Do you dance at all
Cientifico: I've doing salsa/bachata for quite a while now. Recently joined a bachata performance team. What is your favorite?
CD: Oh nice. Which team?
CD: Is that still happening during the pandemic?
CD: Mmmm I guess I prefer bachata
Cientifico: She's being really strict with masks and questionaires. The X Team.
Cientifico: How do you pass the time now without dancing?

your comment on your teacher not providing value, and continuing to deep dive, did not lead the conversation down a great path, as she stopped replying, forcing you to double text.

i suggest you missed a window here with this direction. the reason she stopped replying was because she was highly interested... she was asking you questions about an activity that she values and you're an expert on...thats a pretty big IOI and can set an authority frame. It's the time to take the conversation towards a close, which would have lowered the chances of her dropping out of the conversation.

Specifically, she asked for knowledge on what's going on in the dancing world during the pandemic. This is a good opportunity to A) show off valuable insider knowledge of the scene to DHV yourself B) start seeding the close by talking about the possible date location..."yeah, dance of all kinds is happening everywhere during the pandemic - even in the bars, it's crazy."

Cientifico: Dont worry, it wasnt a trick question
CD: Oh nice. I was actually looking on her website the other day to see what classes they are offering in person but I think it was just a beginners class
CD: That's a good question - it's been hard. In the warmer months I was growing a lot of stuff in my garden and going on lots of walks/hikes
CD: Recently I've been trying to cook more and try new recipees but that only keeps me entertained for so long .
Cientifico: At least it's easy to control what you eat now, right? My nutrition is so much better than before.
Cientifico: We should dance sometime.
CD: Baha what's what I thought in march when all this started that it would be so much easier to eat healthy now, but then I developed a really bad doordash habit and started drinking more too! I could use this topic to make a really good "how it all started" meme
CD: I started having to go back to the office so that is helping.
CD: We could try dancing sometime...but first we should try a video chat
Cientifico: I'm glad you are moving around a bit - so easy to go stir crazy being at home all the time.
Cientifico: Sure, we can try a video chat. Want to shoot me your phone number so we can text?
CD: It's xxx-xxx-xxxx
Cientifico: Texted you

"because that only keeps me entertained for so long " is an invitation to flirt with her. you then directly close off it, which is a little too abrupt. i think the missed window + the direct close caused her to move things back a bit with the video chat. she would have been more compliant if you had said soft closed like, "you sound bored....theres this handsome guy with blue eyes who you're going to meet soon...maybe you and him will distract each other for a bit.." and then closed by asking for her schedule.

Cientifico: Hey CD it's Cientifico from the thing
Cientifico: How is your hump day?
CD: It was ok, I got frustrated with a couple of things at work today, but I came home and was on the phone for a while so that was a nice distraction. How was yours?
Cientifico: I went up to XYZ town and trained some googly eyed customers on how to use our product.
Cientifico: I also got a great workout in, so I look fit for our video chat.
CD: Do you want to video chat this evening?
CD: FYI - I cant take my phone in at work so I normally just leave it in my car.
Cientifico: Sure, 8 pm is optimal for me. Does this work?
CD: Ok, yup thats good for me.

She offers you an emotional hook "i got frustrated", and you don't take her up on it. instead you sound socially robotic by DHVing yourself with the PWF line... i would have considered including an empathetic response here to help build attraction...

One thing I like to do is just text her the first message "hey CD its Cientifico from the thing." and then wait to see what she says. Sometimes she will initiate more objections, sometimes she will initiate IOIs. What I mean is, after the digital compliance bounce (app->texting) this is a good time to feel her out a bit....if you know gunwitchs 3 keys, I noticed that when I emo stimmed the girl, then bounced her to text and gave her space, she would initiate the social frame key by asking things like "where are you from.".. then when shes got enough social frame from me, its a very easy, natural transition to asking her out. when i wanna be aggressive i dont give the girl space after the transition to phone number, and start grilling her on her social frame "youre 23? hmm... a little young....fine for now"

 

[Científico]

Great comments overall - thank you for this nice dissection of my text game.

No doubt skipping the video call would have saved time and I would have gotten her out on the date faster, and perhaps more compliant. Right now I find myself relying too heavily on the PWF lines, possibly. Several are in use in this conversation if you look closely, and they got me the date. However there were clearly better ways to achieve this goal.