Nueva década, nueva vida

[Científico]

Mall Cold Approach Outing

Today was a cold and wet February Saturday. The temperature was just slightly below freezing, maybe around -2 Celsius, and were getting this horrible freezing rain/ice and wind - horrible conditions to be outside.

Nonetheless, I decided to not spend the entire day at home and went to a nearby mall for the primary purpose of getting some human contact for the day (and the added benefit of burning calories, obviously). It's the first time I've done daygame in weeks so it was much needed. Ended up buying a nice blazer and a new shirt as well.

Some thoughts came into my head during this outing:
1.) Low volume. The mall clearly had only a fraction of the people it would normally have. Makes sense with the shitty weather and Coronavirus. I got out only 6 approaches, but 3 of them are disqualified because 2 turned out to be under 18 and one turned out to be at LEAST 45+ upon closer inspection. The masking makes it more difficult, and awkward, to identify women accurately. Thus it's really important to be approaching as much as possible especially during this COVID Winter to get any tangible results from Daygame.
2.) Missed opportunities are costly. Hesitation cost me two opportunities to approach, one of them a mall employee from a hair salon who gave me a possible IOI. I will never know. In this era of low volume it really does matter to eliminate these missed chances. This is something I still need to work on, and I suspect I'll stop this doing if and only if I get in a high enough volume of approaching.
3.) Indirect opener generates intrigue. I used the "you know who you look exactly like" opener almost exclusively during this outing, and the girls very often hung around in set eager to know what was on my mind. It's funny since I'm a complete stranger they didn't know 30 seconds before! However, as soon as I tell them, sometimes they had no problem ejecting and continuing on their way. I need to continue refining this routine, but I'm glad I'm doing it as it's making giving daygame a new dimension and fun factor that wasn't there when I was doing exclusively direct openers.
4.) Recording sets is important. I bought a microphone to record and analyze my sets after the fact. It has a clip, so I can easily place it under my shirt and to the side so it's hardly noticeable. Much better than my previous clumsy recording set up that led me to do it inconsistently. One change I clearly still need to make is to speak more slowly. I do not notice I'm speaking too fast during sets but it's obvious when I listen after the fact. I also need to stop filling the voids in conversation so fast.

Monday is a day off this week, so I believe I'll get back out there again that day and do at least 5 more approaches.

Fitness Update

Nothing but good news to report here. My cut is still going extremely well and I'm losing weight at exactly the same rate as when I started. I have 99 days of weight data as of tonight and when I plot all of those data points on excel, the trendline has an R^2 of 0.977. It is incredible how consistent this is if you keep track of your food and you are precise about it.

I've got a flat stomach and definite 2-pack at this point, with the shadow of a 6 pack with the right lighting. According to the formula from excel I should get to <10% body fat levels in about a month. Bought a tripod to experiment with photography for dating apps as I think I've gotten to that point now where I can really start to mess around. Something else to do outside once the weather gets warmer besides talking to girls.

 

[Beam]

What microphone are you using? I also don't record because every time I've tried to it's been clumsy.

 

[Científico]

What microphone are you using? I also don't record because every time I've tried to it's been clumsy.

This is the one I got:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B088GN1Y9X/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I will say though that this would still be a bit clumsy if I only had one iphone. I actually have two iphones I carry with me (one I got via work). So I can have one attached to the microphone, and just turn on the recording app when I'm about to approach, then put it in my pocket and not touch it until I'm done. If I'm going to grab a phone number, I do it with my other phone.

 

[Científico]

Even though it was below freezing today, I found myself going to one of my favorite warm-weather daygame locations in the city. Had a errand to do in the area.

Obviously, the conditions made it very low volume. I only got out one approach (direct, she stopped her momentum and she listened to my sales pitch. Did not hook. The majority of my approaches go like this these days - possibly more than usual).

However, I let some other opportunities go by. Including one or two possible two-sets. Two women were hanging out by the river taking photos of each other. One of them looked central american, and she was getting her photo taken by her friend. She looked me right in the eye and I did not break the eye contact. She smiled. I smiled back. Then I just continued walking without initiating anything.

I rationalized it telling myself - this girl isn't really my type. Yet I found myself looking back at her as I was walking away.

Something is blocking me mentally from initiating these sets. In the case above, I still have significant approach anxiety when it comes to two-sets. But I'm also letting single sets go by if they do not fit into what I consider my "ideal". It's the masks, the cold, or my brain telling myself "I'm not that into her". The only reason why I approached the one girl above was that she DID look like a girl I would find extremely attractive.

I need to think of strategies to combat this. I think a one approach a day target that I have to meet should be reasonable. I let too much time go by between approaches, and I think it's doing things to my mental health.

EDIT: I even know a good possible opener for that above situation - "how is the Tinder photoshoot going?"

 

[Científico]

Had several days of nice weather lately. Already in February, there were signs of Spring this week.

Got out five approaches during the last three days that have been nice weather, at least one per day. Got numbers from three of them. Clearly the "one approach a day minimum" strategy is the best one to implement these days when the weather is nice. Not overly aggressive so I don't burn out and can balance it with my other responsibilities, but it still gets me out there collecting phone numbers.

One of them turned into a 45 minute conversation since it turns out she is in a similar line of work as me. It was one of those magical sets in which the woman is engaged and it launches into a very meaningful interaction. Reminded me of why cold approach is so critical.

Dating apps are going slightly better as well. I am still experimenting taking photos of myself. More facial hair + lower body fat percentage + new clothes/style is probably working out better for me overall. However I still have some work to do to break into that upper echelon of guys that achieve consistent results.

I have an outline of a six pack now with the right lighting - mostly just a matter of getting the right photography at this point, which will be an ongoing project for months if not years to come. I only have ~5 pounds or so left to go before I should go back to the DEXA scan and get another accurate read on where I am in my fitness.

Dare I say the pandemic situation is getting better as well? There has been a real reduction in case numbers in the US the past month or two. Some educated people are worried about an upcoming surge with this B.1.1.7 variant, while others are not as worried and think the worst is probably behind us. I am not sure who is right, but time will tell.

 

[Científico]

LR --
Cute Boliviana

This will be an abridged report from last nights events without including all the text convos - mostly because I don't feel like it, but secondly because I don't believe there was anything too remarkable.

Summary: Met this early 20's petite cutie online, got past a bunch of flaky behavior and finally set up a date. Had to reassert my frame a few times. Picked her up from her house about 30 min away and drove her to my neighborhood for the best logistics. Went to a local rooftop bar, followed by the bounceback home. No resistance to the bounceback. Escalation proceeded quickly but I hit a solid LMR wall - tried to bust through it for about two hours with fractionation, unsuccessfully. She ended up essentially helping me jerk off. Really clicked well with her and hoping I see her again.

Pre-date communication and date set-up -- reasserting my frame: Standard process of getting her off the app and setting up the date. There was some more exchanging of photos (I sent her one of my selfies) and I did the standard wine soft close I learned from PWF, followed by the hard close of setting up logistics. Good flirty vibe. Initially the date was set for a Sunday night and she asked to reschedule. We rescheduled for the following Friday and I did not contact her until that morning. We set up the logistics of me picking her up when it became evident she did not have transportation, and lived with her mother far away from everything, which was fine for me even though it was going to require a lot of driving time.

Then, half an hour before I was supposed to pick her up, she says "hey where are we going? I'm going into the city already with a few of my girls". I did not like this change of plans at all as it was going to completely mess up the logistics of the date, and if I had tried to meet with her would have ended up as an entertainer for her and her friends. So I simply said "oh if you're meeting with your friends we can just hang out another night. -2 points for double booking yourself".

Several hours later, she texts me:

Cute Boliviana (CB): I didn't know we had a point system lol
Científico: well considering you twice been unable to meet when previously agreed you are def in the red at this point, lol
CB: Red is the color of love *heart emoji*
Científico: Women do look good in red. Maybe if you wear a red dress I'll give you a third chance.
Cientificí: If you can also not change the plans last minute, that would also be ideal. Otherwise this won't go anywhere.
CB: Okay I'll wear a red dress *kiss emoji*
CB: And I promise I won't
Científico: Let me know a night that works for you

The next day (Saturday, yesterday) she replies with "tonight?". Despite the risk of making it look like I had no life, and since I really did have no plans (no other leads panned out), I decide to agree after pondering it a bit.

Date

I drive to her place as agreed previously, give her a clear ETA and show up on time. She makes me wait 10 minutes after I show up, then hits me with another frame-grab:

CB: Just give me 5 minutes going to walk my dog real quick.
Científico: Ummm you couldnt do that before I was supposed to pick you up?
CB: Coming.

She shows up at the car 2-3 minutes later. She's got good style, looks cute and very feminine (sparkly top, ripped jeans, substantial make up). The vibe is friendly immediately. Conversation in the car is good and I build on the points system bit, subtracting more "points" because she was not wearing any red at all. Also ran the "what kind of guys do you like" routine (she said she likes "a good height", funny enough, since I am below average height), and when she asked me back I said my typical response of the opposite of what the girl is, in this case "tall, blonde, Scandinavian - maybe Russian".

We get back to my neighborhood and I park close the bar, but it's still about 300 meters to the rooftop bar place next to my apartment I was planning on taking her to. She is walking excruciatingly slowly in her heels and clearly is a bit uncomfortable, which is kinda funny in a way. She's just cute all around this girl, and almost gave off the vibe that she is limited in dating experience. I could easily be dead wrong though.

We are almost at the bar and she realizes she has no mask. It's silly because once you are seated the bars allow people to take off their masks, but to enter the bar you have to have a mask on.

I tell her no problem, we just go quickly to my place, get her a mask, and then walk back out. This was to my benefit obviously since the girl saw my place before the bounceback - a technique Chase has talked about before. This time it happened unintentionally.

At the bar, we pick a table outside with a view and have a round of drinks together (as an aside, I am wary of drinking too much with girls, but I'm finding that the occasional drink or two here and there has zero effect on my cut, especially if I properly account for the calories in my tracking).

During this time I transition into the "Period Paradox" routine from Alek using "So my friend and I were discussing something interesting the other day" and she is engaged by it. I'm think I'm getting better at the sex talk gambits. We also talk about normal topics, such as my travel history, what she does, etc. I also make small talk with another guy briefly that walks past our table by commenting on his funny mask with lights.

After about an hour I decide it's time for the bounceback. We have similar musical interests, due the shared latin heritage mostly, and she has even been to some of the same dancing venues. Thus I use music as plausible deniability like normal. She agrees after hesitating for maybe only 1-2 seconds.

Escalation at my place.

Girl sits on my couch. My place is tidy but not too tidy as I have some random crap lying around. I put on music right away and pour some wine like normal.

The escalation involves what I normally do, which is getting the girl to stand up and move to the music with me. In this case she did without much problem since she is already latina and likes the same music despite not really being a dancer. She seems a bit shy though, so I have to do an old way of getting the kiss which I have used for years:

me - "do you like all these bachata moves"
girl - "yes"
me - "what about this move"
*kiss*

This works and she is now kissing me. She seems to enjoy it. I start kissing other parts of her body and touching her with my hands, but hit LMR once I get to her nipples or her pussy. I back off and try again periodically for several cycles (in the in-between periods, just talking or getting her to stand up for different songs/dance styles).

She always seems to enjoy my affection and the kissing. But always stops me from going further. I decide to go for GYDO (Get Your Dick Out), which is rock hard at this point anyway and tell her "see what you're doing to me". Still does not work and she still blocks me. I fractionate again and 30-45 minutes later I try again, again with my dick out, and with a bit more force/passion. Again she blocks it. I ask her "why do you resist?" She replies "Because I can". Interesting answer.

At this point I tell her I'm going to have a serious case of blue balls if I dont cum, so I keep kissing her and her body while I put her hand on my dick. She doesnt help me stroke it too much so I end up (mostly) jerking myself off while kissing her. She doesn't mind and is always kissing me back.

Driving her back: The entire time at my place she seems relaxed and never brings up leaving, even after several hours of just hanging out with me listening to music. I enjoy a girl that listens to the same music as me thus it really helped me click with her. I complement her and tell her I like her despite her flaky behavior, and she says she likes me too.

Eventually I her I'll drive her back soon. She says ok.

The drive back is different from the drive to my neighborhood because this time it's more about the music and me playing DJ. Then I drop her off and tell her I'll see her soon.

Closing Thoughts: Despite the initial issues I really did like this girl. She is one of my "types", as in a very short, petite, feminine, sensual, younger latina, and we connected with the music. This is the kind of girl that I perhaps would have gotten oneitis for 5-10 years ago. Now in my early 30's after more experience and context, I can identify and control those thoughts, but I do enjoy thinking "wow I really like this girl".

I'll give her a few days of space before reaching out again to start another exchange as I don't believe any fast follow up is necessary here. Knowing how unpredictable girls are, there is always a chance I miscalibrated the situation and now she will go cold or ghost. Time will tell.

Why I was unable to break through the LMR is an open question in my mind - open to suggestions here. Could be something on her side, but there are likely always things I can improve.

 

[Científico]

FR
Beautiful Senegalian

Did a quick coffee date today with this woman from Senegal, that I also found on a dating app.

Going into this date, my enthusiasm was lukewarm. Her pictures were mediocre and I was not sure how much I would like her. Truth be told, I am also less often attracted to African women, although there are some beautiful specimens out there - turns out this one was one of them.

Her town happened to be in between me and family, so in between making my way to see them I scheduled a quick informational date with her. This is a break from my usual protocol in that my intention was to sit with her only for a short time to see if it was worth scheduling the 'normal' kind of date with her (as in, one with good logistics in which I intend to try to bounce her back to my place for sex).

The woman that greeted me exceeded my expectations. Truly her pictures do not do her justice. This is a woman that clearly pays attention to her grooming, style, and skin. Hair in very long braids. Her skin was quite dark, and her face quite beautiful. A great conversationalist with a feminine energy. My age (early 30s), so a bit more mature as well. Strong eye contact throughout most of the date, with a mix of normal platonic talk about work/verbal attraction spikes. I did feel the tension between us. I closed the date with a quick double cheek kiss like they do in Spain and she liked it.

At one point in the past several years ago I ran into another extremely beautiful dark skinned woman from Gambia, so it might be this particular part of Africa that produces women like this. I'll definitely be pursuing this one.

Other Women Updates

Predicably, the Cute Bolivia from the previous LR-- has not responded to any follow up texts. Problably my failing to close led to her reconsidering it after she had time to contemplate the interaction. I'm pretty much already over it - she is very young and likely has her hypergamy on overdrive right now. I think if I were to do that one again I would have gone faster towards the sex, and possibly been even more dominant.

I've also done several cold approaches this week that have turned into numbers, however as is typical I'm dealing with a high amount of flaky behavior from these numbers (as in, either they won't respond at all or will respond only sporadically). This happens even if the interaction in the field appeared solid.

Like I said, this is in fact typical. In my investigations and tracking over the past several years I've pretty much determined that the leads obtained from cold approach on the street (as opposed to from dancing, happy hours) are in fact the hardest to convert to dates. Sometimes you'll get a highly interested and complaint lead but only after you've gotten many flaky ones. Only about 1 out of every 10 numbers I get on the street ever turns into a date. It truly is one of the hardest forms of pick up. However the trade off is the leads you can get are of the highest quality. This coupled with the fun of it makes it well worth doing.

Anyway, dancing and happy hours are not happening at all right now - thus this is the only form of cold approach possible right now. I hope this will change soon.

As I've mentioned before, my motivation to deal with women isn't the highest right now, and it's probably due to hormonal changes associated with my continued reduction in weight/body fat - which I'll talk about next.

Fitness Update

After a week of what seemed like a very annoying plateau, I got a new record low on the scale this morning. I am very close now to the goal I set months ago. It's a near certainly that I am under 15% body fat at this point. Six pack is visible with the right lightning.

The question is what to do now. I would really like to start eating more food soon and get back to maintenance calories, or even a slight surplus. The hunger cravings are getting worse I feel. But if I'm going to make a change, I have to do it right and for the right reasons.

It will be good to get in another DEXA scan soon to understand just how much further I need to go to achieve 10% body fat, and also see if I'm losing too much lean body mass. I'll do this before the end of March. I also want to get at least one good outdoor photoshoot when I'm at this body fat range - the incoming warmer weather is going to make this easier.

However it might also be good to finally get in a diet break soon, after OVER FOUR MONTHS of being at a caloric deficit, and really focus on building more muscle with a new resistance training program. I was looking at a high-end Equinox gym in my area today for this purpose, as it will switch things up from my current body weight home workouts.

Long story short, progress continues to be good here. Just have to keep it up and be patient, and not give in to temptation and cravings. Which unfortunately is getting more and more difficult to resist.

Other Changes

A few other exciting things happening right now - I will likely switch apartments soon, just because I can, for something better. Preferably on a high floor with lots of natural light and a good view.

I am also interviewing for a new job, just for shits and giggles. I don't need it since business is good in my current role and I will probably make more money this quarter than normal. However if I negotiate properly, and this opportunity ends up being what I think it might be, it could be quite lucrative. Stay tuned.

 

[Científico]

Life is good, for the most part. Though I do feel drained and tired of this stupid virus situation.

I have a brand new apartment with an amazing view. DEXA scan confirmed yesterday that I am at 10% body fat - achieved this goal. Things continue to go well at work. Got my first dose of the Pfizer vaccine today. So finances, career, health, and fitness are all good.

I do miss social dancing a lot. Interacting with other humans with music, and particularly attractive females. I crave being able to get dating leads that way - with dancers, like I used to.

I think the long term caloric deficit probably lowered my testosterone, explaining why my interest in women has decreased. Now that I am at low body fat levels the plan is to try to rectify this situation by being at surplus calories and lifting heavy at the gym for at least a few weeks.

 

[Científico]

Things are going according to plan.

I'm incredibly proud of the work I've done with my body. I used the dark COVID Winter months to cut my calories in a controlled way, lost weight, and got the result I desired. I look in the mirror and I see the V-taper. I see the six pack. I see the vascularity. I don't believe I actually gained any muscle - I have had good muscle definition for years as a consequence of living an active lifestyle and sporadically lifting, it was just hiding underneath 25-30% body fat. Now that I am at 10% my body looks fantastic. I've been increasing my calories now to around maintenance with more of a focus on bulking + heavier protein intake, which undoubtedly will be a lifelong process. I'll probably do another DEXA scan around 3-6 months from now to see if I actually gain any lean body mass. The good news is that it stayed exactly the same between the two scans - the only thing I lost was fat. The daily weighing will continue to make sure I do not gain too much additional weight with the extra calories.

2021 will be the comeback year for sure. I'll be getting the second shot of the Pfizer vaccine April 10th. This will reduce the chances I get this stupid bug to close to zero (there is always the chance I could get infected by a variant with Spike protein mutations that can evade neutralizing antibody from the vaccine - but that risk will exist for many years to come). Then I will be taking time off and travelling again. Florida appears to be the place to go in the US - everything is open, and dance festivals are happening. I will be for sure starting this in May. Then I'll go back to Mexico for sure, and potentially Colombia.

I deleted all my dating apps for now, as I find them draining and I am waiting for more optimal pictures to be able to get more consistent results. Have a session with a new photographer tomorrow. Will likely schedule more with other photographers as well. I am also waiting for the dance team photoshoots to see what I can use from there. By the summer, the goal is to have a much more optimized Instagram + dating profiles to use.

Still cold approaching here and there, as I find it much more enjoyable than dating apps - but not as much as I should. I still miss something like 25-50% of the opportunities I should be going for. It is still a sticking point I have - one latina in professional dress walked by me today, exactly my type, and I have no idea why I didn't approach her. Especially when just half an hour before I approached a hot MILF that turned into a two set when her friend came in - both were happy to talk to me, but told me they had husbands with kids (lol).

 

[Científico]

Had an excellent approach today - I come out of the gym and see a lot of activity outdoors in my neighborhood, as spring is starting and people are congregating more outside.

I see this sexy brunette girl in a multicolor summer dress taking photos of some of the happenings around her and I know this is my set.

I open direct, tell her she looks nice, then go into an "animal stack" - telling her that dress makes her look like a parrot from the amazon. She reacts positively and laughs. I continue and say I think she is problably from Brazil. She says no, she is from Bulgaria. We chit chat off that and I switch to Spanish when it comes obvious she can speak the language well. Then she asks where I am from (hook), and before I tell her she guesses correctly based on my accent in Spanish.

I had a nice hook throughout, she was very engaged. The connection was further solidified when I find out she dances Flamenco, and since I am also a dancer we vibed off that for a while. Lot of attraction signals - playing with her hair, eye contact, smiling, some light kino initiated by her. She also tried to close me herself by asking for my Instagram - I go for the phone number instead. We talked for 15-20 minutes.

Hung around a bit after the close as well. This girl was sexy. My dick was legitimately getting hard just by looking at her, talking and laughing with her. I contemplated the instant date but she told me she was about to meet a friend, and this person tried to call her maybe 5-10 minutes after that. So I decided to end it there. She thanked me for approaching and told me it was a pleasure to meet me, and suggested we can get together soon.

She did say she had a boyfriend in the military that was far away. Of course its something I am going to disregard and I will see if I can get a date soon. As always, there is always the chance that things will go cold - even after amazing interactions like that.

 

[Científico]

I am enjoying the mental break from dating apps right now. It puts a little more urgency on taking advantage of cold approach opportunities. Got some new pictures from the last photoshoot that are scoring well on Photofeeler. Going to wait until I get some better "activity" shots, preferably of me dancing at my new body fat level, before I reactivate some apps and start that process again.

Tonight I will start a mass texting campaign of all the old leads from 2019, 2020, and this year, similar to what I did around this time last year in 2020. I was able to get several dates out of that last time.

Still working on Flamenco girl from the post above - she dodged my texting soft close, so I believe I need to back off a bit, reengage and then hard close.

Great stuff happening at work right now (making a lot of $), and planning on some travel around Memorial Day weekend. The first of several planned in 2021. This is the comeback year for sure.

 

[Científico]

Concrete improved dating app results

I finally have some better results here. After this last session with the pro photographer, I rated the photos on Photofeeler and decided on a whim to try out some of the highest performers on Tinder and Bumble (even though I said I was enjoying the break - I changed my mind).

My matches are easily 4-5 times more than what they used to be, so clearly I've jumped up here.

All it took to get here was:
1.) Dieting down to 10% body fat, 5-6 months of work.
2.) Spending >1k on professional photoshoots
3.) Rating the photos on Photofeeler and trying them out, spent some money here too since I don't feel like grinding out the ratings myself by rating others photos.

Not so much effort, right?

I'm not even done here, my profiles are fairly bare bones still and could improve even further.

Flamenco Girl

Reengaged her today and she responded very quickly. Very nice back and forth today over text, several hours. She was double or triple texting at several points. Tried to grab the frame and turn it into a lunch date but I redirected her. We are doing an evening wine date. Finally got a date set up for later next week, 6 days from now.

This girl is ridiculously good looking, and a dancer (but not exactly the same kind of dancer I am), so my interest is quite high. Even with the increased volume from dating apps right now, the best leads always come from cold approach -- the volume is just less.

 

[Rain]

Hi,

How many photos do you have on your tinder profile and how many on your bumble profile?
The photos that you are using now, are all of them 'just you' in them? eg no friends/family hanging out with you, just you or randoms in the background?

 

[Científico]

Hi,

How many photos do you have on your tinder profile and how many on your bumble profile?
The photos that you are using now, are all of them 'just you' in them? eg no friends/family hanging out with you, just you or randoms in the background?

Only 2-3 right now. They are either selfies, self-taken photos with the tripod/iphone, or from the professional shoots.

No "action" or "group" shots yet because I don't have any yet - I look much better without the 30 pounds of fat I had pre-pandemic, and I need to take new ones. They are coming though, and I think they will improve my profiles even further.

 

[Rain]

So the professional photos that got way more matches, you still had 30lbs of fat?

 

[Científico]

So the professional photos that got way more matches, you still had 30lbs of fat?

Nope. Shoot was last week.

 

[Rain]

Rightio. Interesting that they're only 2-3 photos and no other people in them. I guess time will tell if you get more with other people in them and if that affects matches at all

 

[Científico]

Got my second Pfizer shot this morning. Only minor symptoms thus far, but we'll see how I feel tomorrow. I made zero plans tomorrow in anticipation of feeling crappy.

However, this was not before I had two back-to-back dates, one Thursday and another last night. I am not going to go into minute detail on the background and actual date for each one, but I will write short mini Field Reports for each one with whatever details are most important.

FR++ Flamenco Girl

This one follows my most common pattern, I lead, get the bounce-back, she is at my place and we have a good flirty time but the girl won't fuck. There might be something I am missing that is continually leading to this outcome, more often than not. If it keeps happening in 2021 I might consider talking to a coach to see if they can help me pinpoint it (or, simply accept that this will always be the most common outcome? I don't know.)

This one comes from cold approach - I detailed the approach in an earlier post, which I'll quote here because it was a beautiful interaction:

Had an excellent approach today - I come out of the gym and see a lot of activity outdoors in my neighborhood, as spring is starting and people are congregating more outside.

I see this sexy brunette girl in a multicolor summer dress taking photos of some of the happenings around her and I know this is my set.

I open direct, tell her she looks nice, then go into an "animal stack" - telling her that dress makes her look like a parrot from the amazon. She reacts positively and laughs. I continue and say I think she is problably from Brazil. She says no, she is from Bulgaria. We chit chat off that and I switch to Spanish when it comes obvious she can speak the language well. Then she asks where I am from (hook), and before I tell her she guesses correctly based on my accent in Spanish.

I had a nice hook throughout, she was very engaged. The connection was further solidified when I find out she dances Flamenco, and since I am also a dancer we vibed off that for a while. Lot of attraction signals - playing with her hair, eye contact, smiling, some light kino initiated by her. She also tried to close me herself by asking for my Instagram - I go for the phone number instead. We talked for 15-20 minutes.

Hung around a bit after the close as well. This girl was sexy. My dick was legitimately getting hard just by looking at her, talking and laughing with her. I contemplated the instant date but she told me she was about to meet a friend, and this person tried to call her maybe 5-10 minutes after that. So I decided to end it there. She thanked me for approaching and told me it was a pleasure to meet me, and suggested we can get together soon.

She did say she had a boyfriend in the military that was far away. Of course its something I am going to disregard and I will see if I can get a date soon. As always, there is always the chance that things will go cold - even after amazing interactions like that.

In fact I did enjoy this girls company quite a lot. After texting back and forth for a few weeks, meet at the same spot that I approached her, and she is RIGHT on time to the minute. Wearing an elegant black dress, with a white cover over it because it was cold. We go to a nearby bar and sit by a window, across from each other. The attraction is definitely there. She gives me a compliment I've never heard from a woman before - that I have piano hands. Maybe it comes from being leaner now.

There is plenty of banter about dancing, and other subjects. The conversation is 98% Spanish and she is good at it, having lived in Spain part of her life. I don't really run any sex talk routines, but do throw in some of my more common spikes. She reveals she goes to church regularly after the TT "no parties, no boys?". She also reveals her age - early 20's. Still mentions her boyfriend from time to time, but says it's been long distance for years and she never sees him (strange?).

I go for the bounceback and suggest my (new) place with my awesome balcony. Get some resistance from her, so I fall back to plan B, saying "we're just going to my rooftop patio, not my apartment". She agrees to this.

At my new place, I have a very nice rooftop lounge/patio area that I can absolutely utilize as an intermediate location for dates. This was the first time I did so and it worked according to plan. We go to my apartment room first, get the wine and the glasses, and a speaker for music, then simply take the elevator up 3 floors to get to the roof, where I pour the wine and put on music. Place is empty, we drink, dance, and have a great time.

I try to kiss her multiple times and denies it. Eventually I start escalating other ways, by kissing other parts of her body, and she says "stop, you're going to turn me on with the besitos." I say "oh it's working?" and continue. She laughs and says "noooooo"

The temperature outside is starting to get cold and she notices I am reacting to it, so actually she is the one that suggests we go inside (to an area still on the rooftop in my building). I say sure, only to find out there are people in there working.

Thus - only one option left, which is my apartment. I set her up on my new balcony and we continue to listen to music and we are close together on the loveseat I have out there, almost cuddling, but she still won't let me do anything. She asks me a lot of questions about what kind of girls I like, my dating history, etc etc. Maybe my problem is that these girls are still seeing me too much as a potential boyfriend.

Eventually I walk her out. She (most problably unintentionally) leaves a bracelet here, which she texts me about, and I'll have to coordinate with her to give it back.

FR - Feisty Vegan Dancer

The day after the date with Flamenco dancer, I had another set up with this woman. I found this one on one of the dating apps.

Unfortunately, she lives 2 hours away by car. Normally I wouldn't bother with a woman so far. However there was good banter over the messaging, and most importantly, she ticks both the dancer AND vegan boxes, which are really important for me. If/when I ever enter into a new LTR, it will be with a girl that ticks both of these boxes.

I tried to get her to drive to me of course. She pushed back and suggested meeting halfway, and then followed up with the idea of finding a new vegan place. I couldn't resist this. Obviously such a date has no possibility of sex (unless I try to close in my car or something), but I was fine trying a two-date model with her. There is another semi-big city in between us, so we met there last night.

The place I wanted to go to only had take out, but I arrived earlier so was able to set up a plan to get take out there, then go to a different location with outdoor seating to eat and get drinks.

As soon as she parked and I met her at her car, I could tell this woman had a different sort of energy. Less outwardly submissive. Almost a slight masculine energy, she had no problem challenging me. It is hard to describe to be honest. She did things few women do - like call out a group of four black women walking by our table, telling all four of them "YOU LADIES LOOK FABULOUS TONIGHT", then justifying it to me telling me "I just made their night". Very cute however, dressed with tight fitting jeans, a belt, dark top, and a jacket over that.

Of course I tried to escalate, found excuses to touch her (and made it obvious to her what I was doing even), and reminded her it was man/woman a few times by trying to kiss her, and telling her "men and women cannot be friends" after she mentioned something describing me as a "vegan best friend". She in fact agreed with this frame, telling me - "you're right - all my guy friends are constantly trying to sleep me". I knew correctly that with this sort of woman it was going to be very important to keep the man/woman frame.

She always denied my kisses, then asked me what I thought about that, and why I expected a kiss. I told her I didn't expect anything, I just try it and she can accept or deny. Then she asks what I think about her denying it. I tell her it's okay, I can always try again later. She laughs and calls me a name. I tell her she is making my hormones rage. She says she never kisses on the first date anymore. Basically, I am reminding her constantly that this isn't friend/friend.

To sum it up, I had an absolute blast talking to this chick. There was a lot of banter and laughter. Lots of connection over veganism, travel, and dancing.

We probably hung out chatting for at least two hours. After we get up she does the romantic thing of taking my arm with her arm and walking very close to me, which again prompted another comment from me about my hormones raging.

I walk her back to her car. She says "this was great, I am going to see you again." I tell her "I would like that". she says "I know you would" then asks "what are we doing next time?" I have no idea, so I just tell her "I dont know right now, we can figure it out later". She says "ok".

She texts me first after the date, asking if I got back alright. I decide to already text her today to start the exchange for date 2 - no point wasting time with this one. I do believe her interest is high right now and I should really make something happen sooner rather than later.

This one is in fact unique. I can feel I am invested a little more than normal. But I've been around the block enough times to control any old oneitis tendencies I used to struggle with.

Tentative Date #2 - Thinking about getting her to to drive the two hours, to come up to my neighborhood, and taking her out for a proper date for a bike ride, followed by take out and drinks on the rooftop patio and bounce back to my place.

Other Stuff

Everything is going great otherwise. Great stuff happening at work, and I'm thinking about doing another mini-cut in May before travelling south again, for the first time since Feb. 2020! Being at 7-8% body fat for dancing pool parties would be very optimal.

 

[Científico]

Update on Flamenco Girl: She told me flat out she is not interested in a second date with me, gave me excuses about the boyfriend she has, etc. Obviously the seduction window has closed with her.

She said my "I dont want to be your boyfriend" response to the "I have a boyfriend" excuse she gave a few times made her reconsider seeing me again since she is "looking for a relationship" or something, but I have a feeling this is just what she wants to project. The real reason is that my seduction failed on the first date and the fire is gone. I do wonder what I could have done better here.

 

[foggy]

cientifico -

Re: flamenco girl

almost cuddling, but she still won't let me do anything. She asks me a lot of questions about what kind of girls I like, my dating history, etc etc.

So. Close. Almost there. I find when you get girls asking you these types of questions late in the interaction, you are 2/3 of the way there with them. Just need to handle it correctly (attainability is important here) and an escalation window opens up.

When i mess this part up, i usually never see the girl again. So im not surprised about her rejection towards you.

One observation is that you did not introduce any sex talk - which probably put a dent in the seduction. If you had introduced sexual topics earlier while managing your attainability, you would have moved faster and given her the information she needed to be comfortable with escalation at your place