I have Monday off this week, thank goodness. Can work on some more personal stuff tomorrow and perhaps approach more.
Recapping two dates in this post....
Short haired Bulgarian
Had this date on Thursday. I found her on an online dating website, which seems to be attracting women in their 30's to me the most - especially late 30's. Like I said, a nice source of passive leads, but not always of the highest quality.
This short Bulgarian women is 37, so she falls into this category. Met her at a Mexican restaurant, since she said she wanted to eat and I wasn't against the idea. I suggested this particular place and she met me there.
She's cute, although I wasn't completely crazy about her at first. In fact I wasn't even sure if I was going to try to pull. However, the conversation flowed mostly organically and I think we were both vibing extremely well. I decided to just go for it. It's almost as if she gamed me.
She tries to mention a counter idea, which is just walking outside, but I shoot that down and tell her we are going to my place. She falls into my frame and agrees.
At my place I put on music, get wine, and we sit on the balcony. I start the escalation, kissing, and she likes it, but puts on the breaks to go further despite some persistence from me. I am non-reactive and understanding.
I can tell she likes me, so after the date I don't even bother sending a post-date text, and I just reengage two days later. I know she was relieved I did because after I started the conversation, she has double texted several times, and this morning sent me another LONG text essentially expressing how she is excited about meeting me again (saying she "enjoyed my amalgamation of intellect and seductiveness", lol).
Gorgeous Brasileira
This one is from Daygame, from that 9 approach day I recounted earlier this week. I describe the approach here.
7.) Brazilian girl hanging out in my study spot. I actually take my time to approach her because she was sitting next to the girl I approached in set #1, so I waited until one of them moved away from the other before making my approach. This patience paid off. I was able to approach when the girl moved to another spot with more shade.
This one also goes quite well. She was wearing an outfit with very similar colors as me, so I use this as a stack and it works well. Pretty with beautiful green eyes. Turns out, she is coming straight from Brazil and has only been in the USA for 2 weeks. Nice hook and was asking good questions about me. Agrees to the date and gives the number with no hesitation or resistance. Probably my favorite set of the day. Let's just hope she replies.
The same day I get the number, she sends me a VERY enthusiastic reply to my opener, saying "let's get that drink sometime *kiss emoji*". So I can tell right away the date is on. However, I don't believe I did this well and I need to get better at capitalizing these kinds of opportunities.
Today, the day of the date, she sends me a couple of shit tests. The first is about the weather, and immediately following up saying "I have a boyfriend so we have to do this as friends".
I ignore the boyfriend text and tell her to not be afraid of a little water, and she agrees to meet.
There is no doubt about it - this is one of the most beautiful girls I've met in months. This is the main reason why cold approach is always superior - the quality you get can be outstanding. Late 20's, big green eyes.
I meet her in the metro stop and she immediately calls me out for not wearing a mask, and gives me COVID objections when I try to get close to hug her/cheek kiss. So, not a great start. However I don't react and change the subject as we start walking so I believe I handled this well.
My plan once again was to try a one-venue date followed by the pull back to my apartment. Without going into too many details, at the venue, we sit across from each other, and I rely a lot on my old verbal routines, the questions game, and some sex talk gambits from this site. I don't believe I effectively built sexual tension - I could not do it from the verbal material alone without physically getting close to her and touching her, and this is my fault for poor venue selection/not thinking this through. This likely happened with the Spanish girl as well earlier in the week. She brings up the boyfriend again a few times, which I brush off with the standard "I dont want to be your boyfriend" and accused her of moving too fast. She is a feisty Brazilian, so she fires back with "I'm not moving anywhere". I go back and forth between sex talk and normal topics, and try to seed the pull by talking about dancing (as always) and asking if she wants to learn. She says she does, and brings up some dance from Brazil that "she could teach me". However when I actually try to pull (explicitly saying - hey lets go to my balcony for another glass of wine and some music) it's a very firm no - there wasn't any hesitation or obvious consideration like the Spanish girl. I persist 4-5 times but she does not budge.
So, my pattern continues. I have a very poor rate of closing these dates once I get them and I need to understand why.
My thoughts:
1.) Main thing I think is going on is that I need to get better at building sexual tension by choosing better venues and touching more before trying to pull. I moved recently - at my previous location, before COVID, I had a few great lounge-style places where I could sit next to the girl and touch her. I was also doing two-venues instead of one. I went through a long stretch of dates where I was always getting the pull back to my apartment, and now I've had two in a row from daygame refuse.
At the very least, I need to come up with some kind of routine in which I end up sitting next to her on the table. This one-venue strategy lately where I try to build sexual tension just from verbal escalation/eye contact alone before pulling isn't working, especially with the more attractive girls.
2.) Need to get better at my sex talk transitions. Some of them tonight were probably a bit forced and uncalibrated.
3.) Where did this boyfriend shit test come from? She never mentioned him during the initial approach or the texting right afterwards. My only conclusion is that this came up in her mind the day of the date, so it's possible I need to sexualize and make my intentions clear more during the texting beforehand. Inviting girls to my balcony first might actually be a better strategy during COVID where my available date venues are more limited. It's actually working somewhat often, especially with these online leads.
