sex journal

[mrman]

I just caught myself almost signing up for this weed vaping forum and imagining getting super into, reading a bunch of reddit stuff about vaping, and then I'm like, If youre gonna smoke, smoke, but at least still think about girls. I need to get this done. If i'm gonna be on a forum it should be about getting girls. Also was studying art, but I am going to enter a serious dry spell if I don't get laid now. I just wanna get one high lay.

Point is being obsessed with the forum is good, otherwise I start thinking about other stuff. I even had a dream in which I fucked like 3 different chicks from cold approach and not like a 3 set but like I kind of brought them together. I never had great dreams about what I wanted before when I wanted. When I was a kid I would try, and then it would be the opposite. So if I didn't want to dream something, I knew if I thought about it before bed I wouldn't dream it... i least i didn't really get nightmares... just the occasional trippy dream...Always tried to lucid dream... I was obsessed... Now I'm a grown man and I can live the dream. Well you can't fly but I never could do that in the dream... Maybe now I can have good lucid dreams as I slowly get better at getting what I want.

Let's just say I am gaining control of my brain (subconscious, you could say) as I grow older.

Now I have to go to the grocery store. Walking. So I will hit on the chicks there, and then get exercise walking back. I suppose that I am supposed to go balls to the wall and try to fuck a girl the the bathroom. Just be super chill about it. If it's super chill and easy, then of course I would love to do that.

 

[mrman]

+3 CVS cashier ig,
+3 approaches at grocery
47 points

OK I want to zero in on the conversation with the hot one. Basically I can snipe, I can, and the rest I regret opening. 2 milfs, 1 lowly cashier.

OK, I read somewhere go to the fresh produce section. Went there, saw a hot tall blonde. I let her get away from me but notice me checking her out. I went to pick out a couple tomatoes. Thinking I'm gonna have sex with this woman. Cart back around and find her again. Ah! She's hovering. So, i come around in a way where she has another chance to get away and I see her hesitate and come my way. It's pretty clear that this is all based on how relaxed I am. As I lose control of my nerves the interaction will slip away, as you shall see.

So I'm still paranoid about revealing my line, but I'm probably approaching it wron and being stubborn.

So i go, can I ask you a question, as she's basically turning around to go the other way again. She tried to ignore me but can't pretend she didn't hear me and her curiosity wins as she was clearly attracted. I'm saying, can I ask you a question. And she stope and turns finally. I say, could i make a painting of you? And she's basically like, a painting? and I'm like yeah I'm an artist. I can remember but they typically go like that. When I get my phone back I'll make a recording. Now, She was like, now? Or something, they often say that. To the point where I think they do take it as a euphemism to fuck now, well, it fucking works. I mean, go ahead and try it I guess. What do I have to be worried about... Yeah if it gets out it gets ruined,,, but I'll just keep doing it... But I was like uh I don't have my painting supplies. It was bad, I was getting more and more nervous. My voice was weak. It fizzeled out and I can't be bothered to try to remember every detail, which I don't, point was I got nervous. Wasn't horny.

But I feel really good about it because she was clearly attracted to me, and It was clearly leading to sex right away in the store, if I can stay calm. Obviously I'm not gonna paint her right then and there! I just go yeah, ok, lets go, ... i'm painting you in the bathroom, boom youre done.

Other Meta points. Go for the one shot one kil now. I don't like to make a commotion. unless someone can DVISE ME AGAINST THat and just be a DOG.

Well I hit on some milfs, where if i had been smart i wouldn't bother. Cashier girl, clearly low tier and it shocked her. The one I really went for - hot, tall, well-endowed blonde. I passed on a instacart girl. I know the score here, since I used to work as a cashier here. There's a bunch of brazilian or portuguese instacart workers and there's hotter ones. This one was hot enough, to be sure, but I'm feeling like I come in high value and the right thing to do is just go for the hottest chick every time, and my instincts seem to be doing this.

 

[mrman]

OK, FRs notes
OK, it's Friday so I can etc

OK.

I can type this out during work hours. Because the weekend is approaching I get depressed and feel self conscious about having no plans. I feel a familiar temptation to log off for the weekend.

But, actually, now I feel like going to U and I planned it when sitting on a bench. But now on desktop have to look up the timing. walk to U, end up at the bar at a good time.

I understand it now, it's all coming together. You can't sit here and try to plan. At first you are just in a blur. You gotta do it. First time I walked onto campus trying to get laid, I either chilled with my wing or just walked down the street. this time i got a little more comfortable. And now a plan composes itself. A ong term routine. But what is this thinking, you should get it on the first try, be smart, get out the game on the first try? Ohhhh wait I want to be single. Isn't that what I'm doing? I could be with my ex, or even just be those guys that wanna get out the game with the first hot girl they get.

Finna pos t these FR notes. That's how I'll take it. Literal notes from the field. Just went out to the centre just to find a muse. This is my plan. Every time my grandmother goes out... idk, im being retarted with the planning.

 

[mrman]

Hmmm, I don't feel like going out. Hmm. Lemme go outside and derp around some more in my back yard. Whatever man.

 

[mrman]

Its my job, and now I take a break.

 

[mrman]

Obviously I’m not feeling it. I usually feel better after hitting on chicks. I have to sit and think about how easily I could’ve made it happen. And then having processed that, imagining future ones. That takes time and a good mood. It’s past 9-5 time for being a pickup artist but I’m obsessed. Even tho I don’t wanna go out. It’s actually nice to sit and think.

 

[mrman]

Thinking about my “ex” she called me twice last Friday night I was in a shitty bunk bed of my family vacation and I just got super depressed for no good reason and didn’t even think about answering.

we are supposed to have been dating. Don’t know if I qualify as her ex. To me I tried to treat her like one of my hos or one of my bitches and she thought I was had all these bitches and in reality, since I hung out with her every time I got desperate, I never seduced any new girls. So I got stuck with the first ho I got on Tinder after a dry spell. This lasted like 2 years, I mean it’s on going, but the frame has become we are just friends, and even I want that, but the problem is I don’t got no hos.

 

[mrman]

And I’m thinking. I really shouldn’t reach out to her. Silent period

 

[mrman]

And I’m thinking. I really shouldn’t reach out to her. Silent period

Continue what I started. By accident by losing my phone. So even if you get it back. I mean. Don’t fucking email her at least.

 

[mrman]

Continue what I started. By accident by losing my phone. So even if you get it back. I mean. Don’t fucking email her at least.

Ok tomorrow I’m going to the University.

 

[mrman]

I am absolutely not settling for her. I have decided I want a trophy wife. I will go to the Christian rehab where you just pray for a wife for 3 years lol

 

[mrman]

But I also am 100% of mind to catch chicks my whole life. I mean it. Lot of you old guys here think small. Of course if you get bored of sex when you get older, I think that’s cool too.

 

[mrman]

i'm going to walk to cvs to get something. try to bring back a girl. But my mom might come home soon. What if she flips out. OK, bring your notebook and do a sketch as an instadate. I suppose if she has the logisitics we could bang. my hair is bad out on my hat

 

[mrman]

Wow, I really just went out and didn't approach any girls in style... Being a total weirdo and pushing the boundadries of putting out bad vibes just for fun. Had the cops called on me subtly, I saw a cop in a jeep wringler with like little pieces of shiny blue tape on it, never seen anything like it, it was like a biker cop or transit cop uniform, it was like they put a light detail on me"they" i mean some Karen, because as I was walking back home the cop was at a light and I could hear him on the phone and some lady saying, "forgive me" (AKA for calling the cops on some guy minding his own business) >>> or I'm just paranoid.

I was just being really high and weird, but also didn't see any single girls. Saturday mornings in the center are probably always like thjis. anyway. I saw a busty waitress that I wanna come bacl and eat at the diner. SHould have gone just now. I pussied out. I just made myself an egg. fuck

And it even occured to me that why was i writing down the time for next week, i should just go now.

Of course my face feels like its brewaking out still but when i got home it looked fine!

It's the dry herb vape, it's working!

Really need to quit tho.

Definitely still affecting my vibe negatively even if it's healthier.

Still contemplating whether I should go to rehab or not. Yeah, I don't wanna use self control. Im tired and old, I can't afford to wait any longer to get clean&sober.

If you dont do youre gay bc you don't want it bad enough. I can't put it kindly. Yeah, I still think I can get pussy while smoking. Well, it didnt happen this week. did it?

 

[mrman]

OH yeah had a detail put on me at the target near work that contributed to me quitting

 

[mrman]

Needs ta convince myself to go for a walk to the U

 

[mrman]

+3 CVS cashier ig,
+3 approaches at grocery
47 points

OK I want to zero in on the conversation with the hot one. Basically I can snipe, I can, and the rest I regret opening. 2 milfs, 1 lowly cashier.

OK, I read somewhere go to the fresh produce section. Went there, saw a hot tall blonde. I let her get away from me but notice me checking her out. I went to pick out a couple tomatoes. Thinking I'm gonna have sex with this woman. Cart back around and find her again. Ah! She's hovering. So, i come around in a way where she has another chance to get away and I see her hesitate and come my way. It's pretty clear that this is all based on how relaxed I am. As I lose control of my nerves the interaction will slip away, as you shall see.

So I'm still paranoid about revealing my line, but I'm probably approaching it wron and being stubborn.

So i go, can I ask you a question, as she's basically turning around to go the other way again. She tried to ignore me but can't pretend she didn't hear me and her curiosity wins as she was clearly attracted. I'm saying, can I ask you a question. And she stope and turns finally. I say, could i make a painting of you? And she's basically like, a painting? and I'm like yeah I'm an artist. I can remember but they typically go like that. When I get my phone back I'll make a recording. Now, She was like, now? Or something, they often say that. To the point where I think they do take it as a euphemism to fuck now, well, it fucking works. I mean, go ahead and try it I guess. What do I have to be worried about... Yeah if it gets out it gets ruined,,, but I'll just keep doing it... But I was like uh I don't have my painting supplies. It was bad, I was getting more and more nervous. My voice was weak. It fizzeled out and I can't be bothered to try to remember every detail, which I don't, point was I got nervous. Wasn't horny.

But I feel really good about it because she was clearly attracted to me, and It was clearly leading to sex right away in the store, if I can stay calm. Obviously I'm not gonna paint her right then and there! I just go yeah, ok, lets go, ... i'm painting you in the bathroom, boom youre done.

Other Meta points. Go for the one shot one kil now. I don't like to make a commotion. unless someone can DVISE ME AGAINST THat and just be a DOG.

Well I hit on some milfs, where if i had been smart i wouldn't bother. Cashier girl, clearly low tier and it shocked her. The one I really went for - hot, tall, well-endowed blonde. I passed on a instacart girl. I know the score here, since I used to work as a cashier here. There's a bunch of brazilian or portuguese instacart workers and there's hotter ones. This one was hot enough, to be sure, but I'm feeling like I come in high value and the right thing to do is just go for the hottest chick every time, and my instincts seem to be doing this.

The super hot chick in the grocery store said she didn’t have Instagram

 

[mrman]

Went for to chill at the lake, ended up being not so chill, but the walk home clarified my thinking, and I need to text R- the cleavage blonde College babe. I’m switching to sniping. I can’t stand this unnecessary sarging anymore. If it’s a fake number I need to find out now. So what do I text her?

 

[mrman]

Wow I am. It going out not goi g out why why why

 

[mrman]

I don’t have money for bars and I don’t have date and I don’t wanna get a reputation at the C. Need to snipe this. Text R. The blonde college babe with her tits out.